1 00:00:01,520 --> 00:00:04,000 Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if 2 00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:07,680 Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more, 3 00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:12,160 Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEFRVEFM dot com and 4 00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:15,360 Speaker 1: click on Strawberry Letter. All right, that's all you have 5 00:00:15,360 --> 00:00:17,960 Speaker 1: to do, submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your 6 00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:20,079 Speaker 1: letter live on the air, just like we're going to 7 00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:22,640 Speaker 1: read this one right here, right now. You never know, 8 00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:25,800 Speaker 1: this one could be yours. You heard what she said, 9 00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:28,080 Speaker 1: You never know. Fuck love and hold on tight. We 10 00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:30,360 Speaker 1: got it for you here. It is the Strawberry Letter. 11 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:35,240 Speaker 1: Thank you nephew. Subject is she my queen or a narcissist? 12 00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:39,080 Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley, I need your advice. I've been dealing 13 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:41,839 Speaker 1: with this woman for ten years. I am forty eight 14 00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:45,680 Speaker 1: years old and she's forty five. When I first met her, 15 00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:48,760 Speaker 1: I fell in love quickly, and I thought she loved me. 16 00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:51,720 Speaker 1: She said all the right things, like she wants to 17 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,800 Speaker 1: spend the rest of her life with me, and buy 18 00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:56,680 Speaker 1: a house with me and so on. And we've always 19 00:00:56,760 --> 00:01:00,560 Speaker 1: talked about marriage, but as time went on she changed. 20 00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:04,720 Speaker 1: Now we don't discuss marriage anymore, but we did by 21 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:08,120 Speaker 1: a house. Things went crazy after that, and I don't 22 00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:11,200 Speaker 1: know if I'm living with my queen or a narcissist. 23 00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:15,200 Speaker 1: She criticizes everything I do, and she blames me for 24 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:18,399 Speaker 1: everything that goes wrong in the house. She yells at 25 00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:21,880 Speaker 1: me all the time, even in front of company. She 26 00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:25,080 Speaker 1: doesn't like to be questioned about anything. She doesn't take 27 00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:28,800 Speaker 1: accountability for her faults, and more importantly, she never gives 28 00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:33,320 Speaker 1: me props on sex anymore. She tries to control everything, 29 00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:36,759 Speaker 1: and I'm trying to remain respectful no matter how she 30 00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:40,680 Speaker 1: treats me. I find myself always apologizing just to keep 31 00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:44,080 Speaker 1: the peace. I have started packing my belonging so I 32 00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:47,400 Speaker 1: can leave. I'm not married to this woman, but I 33 00:01:47,520 --> 00:01:51,520 Speaker 1: loved us together and hoping and praying that we can 34 00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:54,520 Speaker 1: work things out. I asked her to go to counseling, 35 00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:57,200 Speaker 1: and she said that wasn't a very manly thing to 36 00:01:57,240 --> 00:02:00,560 Speaker 1: ask a woman. My purpose in life was to meet 37 00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:03,760 Speaker 1: this woman's every need, But now I want to swing 38 00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:06,480 Speaker 1: on her, and that's not a comfortable place for me 39 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:10,680 Speaker 1: to be in. In a last ditch effort to please her, 40 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:13,760 Speaker 1: I got a chef and am masseuse for Valentine's Day, 41 00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:16,400 Speaker 1: and she said the food was salty and the girl 42 00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:19,440 Speaker 1: didn't massage her deeply enough. Should I tell her I 43 00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:22,000 Speaker 1: want out? Or should I go without saying a word. 44 00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:25,359 Speaker 1: I'm so torn and it's a life changing move, so 45 00:02:25,440 --> 00:02:28,240 Speaker 1: I need your advice on what to do. I mean, 46 00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:30,680 Speaker 1: you've been with this woman for ten years, and for 47 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:33,880 Speaker 1: you it's getting worse. You know those bags you mentioned 48 00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:37,720 Speaker 1: that you started packing. I say, finished packing those bags, 49 00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:40,119 Speaker 1: so you can leave and this is over pretty much. 50 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:42,440 Speaker 1: I mean, she doesn't want to get married, she doesn't 51 00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:44,840 Speaker 1: talk about it anymore, she doesn't want to go to counseling. 52 00:02:44,919 --> 00:02:47,520 Speaker 1: She yelled at you all the time. She has no accountability, 53 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:51,000 Speaker 1: you say, and she doesn't give you props on your 54 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:54,160 Speaker 1: sex anymore. So why after ten years are you still 55 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:58,040 Speaker 1: with her taking this abuse? If you're so unhappy and 56 00:02:58,120 --> 00:03:01,360 Speaker 1: it's not working and nothing's worth Listen, if it's the 57 00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:04,280 Speaker 1: house you guys have together, you can sell that and 58 00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:07,919 Speaker 1: split the money. This woman is giving you absolutely no 59 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:11,640 Speaker 1: reason to stay with her. You're not married, so that 60 00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:14,160 Speaker 1: should be fairly easy to walk away if that's what 61 00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:17,120 Speaker 1: you want to do. Because you're miserable so much so 62 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:21,040 Speaker 1: that you've thought about swinging on her, meaning hitting her. 63 00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:25,239 Speaker 1: You know that's not cool. So right now, I think 64 00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:28,160 Speaker 1: the best thing you can do is about gracefully before 65 00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:32,960 Speaker 1: things get any worse. Ten years, you know that's enough. Furthermore, 66 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:36,680 Speaker 1: she's not even pretending she's happy with you, so just 67 00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:45,800 Speaker 1: be out, be out, Steve. You know Shirley's correct. This 68 00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:50,920 Speaker 1: whole thing is doomed. But I'm gonna show you something, sir. 69 00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:54,880 Speaker 1: I just want you to help me, help you you 70 00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:58,280 Speaker 1: forty eight forty five? Is she my queen or narcissist? 71 00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:01,760 Speaker 1: When I first met her, I fell in love quickly, 72 00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:04,560 Speaker 1: and you thought she loved you. Now listen to this. 73 00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:07,840 Speaker 1: She said all the right things, like she wants to 74 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:10,960 Speaker 1: spend the rest of her life with me, and buy 75 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:15,720 Speaker 1: a house with me and so on. We've always talked 76 00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:20,159 Speaker 1: about marriage, but as time went on she changed. Well, 77 00:04:20,279 --> 00:04:24,480 Speaker 1: let's talk about the change. I think she did exactly 78 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:27,800 Speaker 1: what she said she was gonna do. She said she 79 00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:29,680 Speaker 1: wanted to spend the rest of your life with you. 80 00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:33,400 Speaker 1: Y'all been together ten years. She ain't talked about leaving. 81 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:38,599 Speaker 1: Y'all talked about buying a house together. Bam, y'all did it. 82 00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:45,400 Speaker 1: So she's still there, and she bought the house. We've 83 00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:50,640 Speaker 1: always talked about marriage, but it's time went on. She changed, well, 84 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:55,960 Speaker 1: seemed to me, lucky for you, according to this letter 85 00:04:56,480 --> 00:04:58,800 Speaker 1: she changed. Now I'm gonna be thinking, man, this is 86 00:04:58,839 --> 00:05:02,080 Speaker 1: your blessing dog after I got to read this letter. 87 00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:06,479 Speaker 1: Now we don't talk about marriage anymore. But we did 88 00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:08,360 Speaker 1: buy a house. That's what y'all said. Joe was on 89 00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:11,360 Speaker 1: the Things went crazy after that, and and now I 90 00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:13,680 Speaker 1: don't know if I'm living with my queen or narcissist. 91 00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:19,200 Speaker 1: She criticizes everything I do, and she blames me for 92 00:05:19,279 --> 00:05:22,960 Speaker 1: everything to go wrong in the house. You can't write 93 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:28,560 Speaker 1: me for the make me stay in response because I'm 94 00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:34,640 Speaker 1: first one to get out ten years time. Do let's 95 00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:38,320 Speaker 1: get up? Did you whistle? Yep? That's my range. That's 96 00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:41,080 Speaker 1: cut off for me. Not and don't need to do 97 00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:44,080 Speaker 1: in this double digit Let's go get out all over? 98 00:05:45,839 --> 00:05:49,000 Speaker 1: So we go. She yells at me all the time, 99 00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:55,720 Speaker 1: even in front of company. See, I'm I'm I can't 100 00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:59,159 Speaker 1: take that. I can't do that though. She doesn't like 101 00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:02,560 Speaker 1: to be questioned about anything, and she doesn't have accountability 102 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:06,240 Speaker 1: for her faults. And more importantly, she never gives me 103 00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:09,160 Speaker 1: props on sex anymore. Now, I didn't understand that line. 104 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:12,080 Speaker 1: You mean she don't give you props? Well, maybe it 105 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:15,480 Speaker 1: ain't good no more. And it might not be good 106 00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:17,640 Speaker 1: because you don't like who you having to do it too. 107 00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:21,080 Speaker 1: The reason she don't give you props to the more 108 00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:23,560 Speaker 1: because of feeling. Ain't to say, because you probably don't 109 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:26,919 Speaker 1: feel the same about it. Dog, she bossing you around? 110 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:28,880 Speaker 1: How to let your cussin at you in front of people? 111 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:32,120 Speaker 1: Hold on? Hold on, Steve, what you want tonight to 112 00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:36,039 Speaker 1: be about? She wants to swing on her too? All right? Plus, 113 00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:37,680 Speaker 1: I want to knock you out. Now, I'll give it 114 00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:41,080 Speaker 1: to you, but you ain't gonna like it. All right, listen, 115 00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:43,680 Speaker 1: we'll be back with part two of Steve's response to 116 00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:47,520 Speaker 1: twenty three minutes after the hour, today's Strawberry letter subject 117 00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:50,560 Speaker 1: is she my queen or a narcissist? We'll get back 118 00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:55,080 Speaker 1: into it right after this. You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show. 119 00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:58,400 Speaker 1: All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letters 120 00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:02,680 Speaker 1: subject is she my queen or a narcissist? Well, this 121 00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:05,560 Speaker 1: letter right here, like Shirley said, this marriage is doomed. 122 00:07:05,839 --> 00:07:09,279 Speaker 1: That's not even a marriage though, this relationship is doomed. 123 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:12,280 Speaker 1: She's forty eight, she's forty five metris woman. They talked 124 00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:14,680 Speaker 1: about spending the rest of their life together, buying a 125 00:07:14,760 --> 00:07:18,559 Speaker 1: house together, and marriage. Well they've spending their life together. 126 00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:21,200 Speaker 1: It's been ten years. They bought the house together. But 127 00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:23,880 Speaker 1: she's changed. She's not talking about the marriage anymore. And 128 00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:26,640 Speaker 1: it seems to be a blessing for you, sir, Okay 129 00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:30,080 Speaker 1: thinks she criticizes everything you do. She blames you for 130 00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:33,240 Speaker 1: everything that goes wrong in the house. She yells at 131 00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:35,920 Speaker 1: me every time, all the time, even in front of company. 132 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:38,760 Speaker 1: I'm not fitting to take that, and no woman should either. 133 00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:42,120 Speaker 1: She doesn't like to be questioned about anything, and she 134 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:45,560 Speaker 1: don't take accountability for her faults. And more importantly, she 135 00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:49,800 Speaker 1: never gives me props on sex anymore. I was confused 136 00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:52,960 Speaker 1: about that before the break. She don't give you credit, 137 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:57,200 Speaker 1: she don't thank you, she don't give you ups, she 138 00:07:57,320 --> 00:08:00,840 Speaker 1: don't praise your efforts no more. And because it's not 139 00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:04,360 Speaker 1: the same anymore, she cutsing at you in front of everybody, 140 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:06,000 Speaker 1: talking to you like you're a little boy in front 141 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:07,840 Speaker 1: of people and stuff. You know, and you to said 142 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:10,720 Speaker 1: later on in the letter, you think about swinging on it. 143 00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:16,560 Speaker 1: It's harder had good sex after that, really, it really is. 144 00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:19,360 Speaker 1: So I don't think you should get that anymore. She 145 00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:22,920 Speaker 1: tries to control everything, and I'm trying to remain respectful 146 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:26,600 Speaker 1: no matter how she treats me. Here's a good one 147 00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:29,640 Speaker 1: right here. I find myself always apologizing just to keep 148 00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:32,960 Speaker 1: the peace. That ain't gonna change, dog you. We'll gonna 149 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:34,760 Speaker 1: get used to that one right there. That's because that's 150 00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:38,080 Speaker 1: how you have a happy hands marriage. You apologize for 151 00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:42,280 Speaker 1: stuff just to keep the peace. You are apologize for 152 00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:46,720 Speaker 1: stuff just to keep the peace. Every man that's marriage 153 00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:50,240 Speaker 1: that's listening to this show knows what that line means. 154 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:53,839 Speaker 1: It comes with it. All you want is peace. So 155 00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:55,720 Speaker 1: that we're right there. You can take that off the 156 00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:58,760 Speaker 1: list of stuff to complain about, because that's going on forever. 157 00:09:00,559 --> 00:09:03,440 Speaker 1: I've started packing my belonging so I can leave. And 158 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:06,080 Speaker 1: I'm not married to this woman, but I loved us 159 00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:09,800 Speaker 1: together and hoping and praying that we can work things out. 160 00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:13,520 Speaker 1: Hold on, bro, I started packing my belonging so I 161 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:16,320 Speaker 1: can lead. I'm not married to this woman, but I 162 00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:20,120 Speaker 1: loved us together and hoping and praying that we can 163 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:32,720 Speaker 1: work things out now. Praying and packing. That's a tough combination, y'all. 164 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:36,199 Speaker 1: You praying that y'all stay together, but you steady packing. 165 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:40,800 Speaker 1: Praying and packing ain't a good compensation. I don't really 166 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:44,080 Speaker 1: believe you praying, dog, I really don't, because you're packing. 167 00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:54,240 Speaker 1: You see what I'm saying. You Come on, Nah, you can't. 168 00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:59,840 Speaker 1: That ain't work. Okay, let's just move on. Just wanted 169 00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:04,199 Speaker 1: to I want to sink into you. Uh uh. And 170 00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:06,960 Speaker 1: then I asked her to go to counseling and she 171 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:09,520 Speaker 1: said that wasn't a very manly thing to ask some 172 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:15,040 Speaker 1: woman to do. So, Now counseling is for sissy's Yeah, 173 00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:19,240 Speaker 1: I mean, dog, she just doing you every chance she gets. 174 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:22,160 Speaker 1: Joe punk Ass in here asking me to go to 175 00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:25,320 Speaker 1: counseling for put counting, little poop up punking, little rudy 176 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:28,080 Speaker 1: poop message this you're talking about that girl, This little 177 00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:31,520 Speaker 1: punk ass gonna ask me to go to counselor Robert 178 00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:35,199 Speaker 1: getting him coming through some things. His little sis AS's 179 00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:37,560 Speaker 1: gonna come. And here I'm talking about, can't we go 180 00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:39,760 Speaker 1: to counsel What a man want to go to counselor? 181 00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:45,200 Speaker 1: Bro This is, dude, My purpose in life was to 182 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:47,800 Speaker 1: meet this woman's every need. But now I want to 183 00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:53,040 Speaker 1: swing on her and that's not a comfortable place. Well, 184 00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:56,880 Speaker 1: you know, ladies, let me help y'all other stacks. So 185 00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:01,600 Speaker 1: your husband has wanted to knock your ass out, he 186 00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:04,360 Speaker 1: just didn't. I just want to tell both y'all, Sharley 187 00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:06,520 Speaker 1: and Corlin, I want to break some news to you, 188 00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:10,520 Speaker 1: Tash nest Stone. But let me tell you something I've 189 00:11:10,640 --> 00:11:14,800 Speaker 1: asked God, and just give me just a moment to joy. 190 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:20,040 Speaker 1: I just want y'all to know that, oh yeah, y'all's mouth. 191 00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:23,040 Speaker 1: Y'all talk to damn much and then you talk because 192 00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:26,040 Speaker 1: you know, ain't nothing gonna happen. So now it's come 193 00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:28,199 Speaker 1: with extra on it. So I just want you all 194 00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:31,320 Speaker 1: to know that's a normal thought in a man's mind. 195 00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:38,199 Speaker 1: I'm thinking with the fingers, yea all that because see, 196 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:43,920 Speaker 1: we gotta wait. We could shut that down now. It's 197 00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:47,480 Speaker 1: sad thing is some men act on that regrettably and 198 00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:50,240 Speaker 1: was not raised the right way to never put your 199 00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:54,400 Speaker 1: hand on a woman. Too many people born that way. 200 00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:57,559 Speaker 1: That's a coward ass way to go women. That's not 201 00:11:57,640 --> 00:12:00,240 Speaker 1: the way to do. But I've told my door us 202 00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:02,920 Speaker 1: don't put your hands on a man now because he's 203 00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:06,120 Speaker 1: cass ain't rained like your daddy. My mama's always tell 204 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:09,920 Speaker 1: me that I understand that right there, but I do 205 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:12,440 Speaker 1: want it to say, brother, that feeling wanted to put 206 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:16,120 Speaker 1: you swing on her. That's a comment. And it happens 207 00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:20,280 Speaker 1: in all of our man surely, and callers included whatever 208 00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:28,440 Speaker 1: and yesterday and yeah see ya had did and then 209 00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:30,920 Speaker 1: check us out. In the last dish effort to please, 210 00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:33,520 Speaker 1: I got a chef at a Masseus on Valentine's Day. 211 00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:35,880 Speaker 1: She said the food was salted and the girl didn't 212 00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:39,480 Speaker 1: massage her deeply enough. Oh now it's the Masseus's fault 213 00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:42,679 Speaker 1: that she couldn't dig deep enough to all where did 214 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:45,240 Speaker 1: get all that hatred out of her ass? So now 215 00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:48,319 Speaker 1: she don't know how to dig? Man, skip her? Uh, 216 00:12:48,679 --> 00:12:52,000 Speaker 1: walk out, dog, pack your bags, walk out. Let her 217 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:55,160 Speaker 1: have a house. Don't ask for nothing. If she wants 218 00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:57,080 Speaker 1: you to pay half of the house, note, put it 219 00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:59,319 Speaker 1: on the market, sell it to split the money. You're 220 00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:03,360 Speaker 1: not married, Walk out, doll. That's it all right, Thank you. 221 00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:11,079 Speaker 1: See at Steve Harvey FM dot com. Tommy's up next 222 00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:14,480 Speaker 1: in vir Junior with sports right after this you're listening 223 00:13:14,679 --> 00:13:16,559 Speaker 1: to the Steve Harvey Morning Show