Speaker 1: Hey, hey, ba fam, I have got some really freaking
Speaker 1: incredible news. We have been nominated for a Webby, y'all.
Speaker 1: The Webby is the oscars of the Internet. And the
Speaker 1: fact that Brown Ambition has been recognized with a nomination
Speaker 1: for Best Business Podcast this is incredible. The most incredible
Speaker 1: thing of all about being nominated for a Webby is
Speaker 1: that you, guys can help decide who wins. That means
Speaker 1: you can vote for us. Go to Webby Awards dot com.
Speaker 1: That's we b b y A w r ds dot com,
Speaker 1: find the Best Business Podcast Award nominees and vote for
Speaker 1: Brown Ambition. You can also check the show notes. We'll
Speaker 1: put a link to where you can vote there for
Speaker 1: easy voting. But tell a friend to tell a friend.
Speaker 1: If we take home this award, it's going to be
Speaker 1: so symbolic of all the hard work we put into
Speaker 1: this show and of how incredible our BA family is.
Speaker 1: So go vote for us. Voting is open now through
Speaker 1: April twenty first. Thank y'all so much for your support.
Speaker 1: Thank you the Webby Awards for nominating us. Now let's
Speaker 1: take this on or home, y'all. Hey, hey va fam,
Speaker 1: it's Mandy. I am back with another episode of the
Speaker 1: Brown Ambition QNA. I am loving getting y'all's questions. Y'all
Speaker 1: have some doozies for me this week though, some really
Speaker 1: juicy career questions. I cannot wait to dive into those.
Speaker 1: But before I do, I've got to remind y'all how
Speaker 1: to submit your questions. Head over to Brownambitionpodcast dot com.
Speaker 1: You can simit a question there, or you can slide
Speaker 1: into our DMS. We are at Brown Ambition Podcast on
Speaker 1: ig Send us your questions again, finances, career, relationship, pet, maintenance, whatever,
Speaker 1: Just send me your questions. Okay, I'm happy to take
Speaker 1: them on the show without further ado. Let's jump right
Speaker 1: on into these questions for the week. We've got two
Speaker 1: who are very justifiably so going to be required to
Speaker 1: be anonymous, which is fine. Our first question comes from
Speaker 1: a woman who works in broadcast news and ooh, I
Speaker 1: felt this question deep, deeply inside my bone. So let's
Speaker 1: get into it. Okay, here's our first question. Let's call
Speaker 1: her Oprah Winfrey because she works in broadcast news. So
Speaker 1: Oprah says, how do you navigate whitesplaining both on social
Speaker 1: media and in the workplace. I'm a news anchor and
Speaker 1: I recently posted an IG video about why job seekers
Speaker 1: should network and proactively pitch themselves to their hiring managers
Speaker 1: rather than reactively waiting for job descriptions to be posted.
Speaker 1: I received a comment on the video from a white
Speaker 1: woman who says she works in HR. She said networking
Speaker 1: is a good supplement in the job search, but is
Speaker 1: not a replacement for sending an online application. She also
Speaker 1: explained it's inaccurate to say many jobs aren't posted online
Speaker 1: as job descriptions kickstart the hiring process. While I don't
Speaker 1: doubt this is how the hiring process works at her company,
Speaker 1: I'm really annoyed that she went out of her way
Speaker 1: to try to correct me when I know what I
Speaker 1: said was accurate for many companies and industries. I don't
Speaker 1: mind if people correct me when I'm actually wrong, but
Speaker 1: I found whenever I'm corrected by someone with inaccurate information,
Speaker 1: the correction is always coming from a white woman or
Speaker 1: a white or Asian man. I'm tended to point this
Speaker 1: out when I respond to their comments, but I never
Speaker 1: do because I don't want to be seen as playing
Speaker 1: the race card. My question isn't necessarily about how to
Speaker 1: respond but I'd love to hear how you navigate white
Speaker 1: splaining and how you prevent it from ruining your afternoon.
Speaker 1: I'm just so tired of dealing with whitesplainning from mediocre people,
Speaker 1: and it triggers so much anxiety whenever it happens. Okay, lady, oh,
Speaker 1: lady Oh, listen first and foremost as as a fellow
Speaker 1: woman of color who's out there on these internet streets
Speaker 1: sharing her point of view on many subjects, including how
Speaker 1: to network, and I will back you up one thousand
Speaker 1: percent on what you have said. It is so important
Speaker 1: to think about way more more than just applying online
Speaker 1: for jobs when you really want to get to the
Speaker 1: next level of your career. And while it can be
Speaker 1: true that and I just had a coaching mentor mentee
Speaker 1: of mine today who told me that she got an
Speaker 1: amazing job as an assistant director at a major company
Speaker 1: and she applied online. So absolutely it can happen. It
Speaker 1: can happen. From filling out a job application, you can
Speaker 1: get an opportunity. However, it is factual that many, many, many,
Speaker 1: in fact, the large majority of jobs are not even
Speaker 1: posted online. They aren't they're being filled internally. They're being
Speaker 1: passed to candidates, from recruiters, from hiring managers before they're
Speaker 1: even published, you know, formally online. So I back you
Speaker 1: up one hundred percent. But to your point, as someone
Speaker 1: who is out there constantly sharing my point of view
Speaker 1: and trying to help people by sharing my perspective on
Speaker 1: lots of different career and finance questions, just as I
Speaker 1: do on the show right now, you do open yourself
Speaker 1: up to critiques. You do open yourself up to other
Speaker 1: people sharing their opinions in return, I had to really
Speaker 1: check myself to be honest. I had to check myself
Speaker 1: from that instant gut reaction of like, who are you
Speaker 1: to tell me that my opinion is wrong? I'm correct,
Speaker 1: Here's what I've said. I had to stop myself from
Speaker 1: kind of having that initial negative, like you said, ruin
Speaker 1: my whole afternoon response to someone like a naysayer trying
Speaker 1: to tell me that what I said wasn't accurate. What
Speaker 1: I tried to do even more for myself was remind
Speaker 1: myself what was my rationale for what I said? What
Speaker 1: was how how did I say it? Was I factually correct?
Speaker 1: And actually being open to another's perspective I think is
Speaker 1: something that we can all do a better job of now.
Speaker 1: As black women listen, we are challenged in a way
Speaker 1: at a fever pitch that is not seen I don't
Speaker 1: think by other categories of people when you see a
Speaker 1: black woman who knows what she's talking about and has
Speaker 1: the confidence to assert herself and to say with her
Speaker 1: full chest how she feels on a certain map. I
Speaker 1: don't have any data to back this up right now,
Speaker 1: but would I would hazard a guess that we are
Speaker 1: more likely to be We are more likely to be
Speaker 1: seen as not qualified to come up with that opinion
Speaker 1: to oh, well, she doesn't have this degree or she
Speaker 1: doesn't work in that field, so how does she know?
Speaker 1: And to try to be, as you said, white's blained
Speaker 1: or man's blained or whatever, just basically look down upon
Speaker 1: and patronized by other people. That's sort of our burden
Speaker 1: to bear. I feel like I don't want that to stop.
Speaker 1: You do not stop, Okay, do not stop, lady. Oh continue,
Speaker 1: You've got to keep sharing your voice, because for every
Speaker 1: person who's taking the time out of their day to
Speaker 1: leave you a comment and try to tear you down,
Speaker 1: there's many, many, many other viewers who are probably really
Speaker 1: empowered by what you're telling them. And I see this
Speaker 1: every single day. So a couple of ways that I
Speaker 1: don't let negative comments, regardless of who they come from, white, black, whoever.
Speaker 1: How I don't let them ruin my day is I
Speaker 1: take time to read the positive comments too. Okay, those
Speaker 1: comments matter, but they don't sting us the way that
Speaker 1: negative comments do. Right. I just had someone last week
Speaker 1: who told my followers do not follow her. She literally
Speaker 1: said this came on my page. I'm Brown ambition and said,
Speaker 1: do not follow her. She does not know of what
Speaker 1: she speaks. And it was all about the conversation I
Speaker 1: had in a recent BEAQ at a episode about how
Speaker 1: a resume is not the only thing that matters when
Speaker 1: it comes to getting your dream job. This person, who
Speaker 1: liked to point out that she worked in HR said no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: this is not accurate. Don't follow Amandy. She's inaccurate. Blah
Speaker 1: blah blah. Had I let that kind of ruin my day,
Speaker 1: it would have discounted all the other amazing comments and
Speaker 1: responses I've got from readers or listeners to the show.
Speaker 1: And I don't want you to get in that space
Speaker 1: where the naysayers are the voices that are ricocheting around
Speaker 1: your mind. You have to actively fill your mind with
Speaker 1: positive affirmations, with positive reassurances, and positive feedback that you're getting.
Speaker 1: I assure you that you are getting it from your followers,
Speaker 1: from your viewers, from your colleagues, from your managers. Those
Speaker 1: are the people whose opinions ultimately matter. Right And also
Speaker 1: one of the reasons that I have gotten so much
Speaker 1: more confident and sharing my point of view on things
Speaker 1: is because things happen to me, and you can't tell
Speaker 1: me that something didn't happen to me and I didn't
Speaker 1: see something like I stand in my truth with and
Speaker 1: I speak of what I know. I speak from my
Speaker 1: own experience, and I speak from my heart. And at
Speaker 1: the end of the day, it's impossible for anyone to
Speaker 1: tell me that my point of view doesn't matter and
Speaker 1: that it's not accurate. They may not agree with it,
Speaker 1: but what you can't do is take away from my
Speaker 1: experience and what I have seen. And all I'm doing
Speaker 1: is sharing my opinion and my thoughts based on those experiences.
Speaker 1: So it's going to happen. This is the beauty of
Speaker 1: having a public platform and sharing your point of view.
Speaker 1: But ooh, lady, oh, please don't stop, Please keep going
Speaker 1: and let me be the first of many positive reaffirmations.
Speaker 1: Is that even a word reaffirmation? Let me be one
Speaker 1: of the positive voices that you hear today. And I
Speaker 1: want you to keep what I'm saying close to you
Speaker 1: and don't let the negative, you know, negative comments be
Speaker 1: what carries you throughout the day. Listen to me. I'm
Speaker 1: telling you that you're doing great work. I'm telling you
Speaker 1: that I agree with you. I'm telling you to keep going.
Speaker 1: And I think for all of us, it's really about
Speaker 1: who are we gonna choose to Let's sit with us,
Speaker 1: and let's sit on our spirits and let's sit in
Speaker 1: our mind. Who are we carrying with us? Whose voices
Speaker 1: are we going to carry with us throughout the day.
Speaker 1: And I try to do my best to carry positive
Speaker 1: voices with me wherever I go. It doesn't mean that
Speaker 1: the negative voices are not there, and often they're my
Speaker 1: damn own negative voice, you know what I mean. But
Speaker 1: I do try to actively seek out positive vibes from
Speaker 1: other people. I ask for feedback I literally have. I'm
Speaker 1: not even gonna lie, i'mnn tell you all my secret
Speaker 1: to happiness. When I'm having a really shitty day, I
Speaker 1: survey every single one of my coaches clients. After I
Speaker 1: chat with them, they get a little survey ask for
Speaker 1: their feedback. And I don't check this spreadsheet of my
Speaker 1: responses every day, but when I'm having a really shitty day,
Speaker 1: I sure do. I open up that spreadsheet and I
Speaker 1: read what they have to say, and I skip right
Speaker 1: to the positive feedback column. Yes, I ask for what
Speaker 1: could have been better, but that's not what I'm concerned
Speaker 1: about in that moment. I want to read the positive
Speaker 1: love and support and happy vibes from the people that
Speaker 1: I have helped, and I just think we all could
Speaker 1: use a little bit more of that. It doesn't mean
Speaker 1: that we can't take a bit of criticism. I think
Speaker 1: we should all be open to that, and certainly on
Speaker 1: the Internet, like I'm trying to create a space where
Speaker 1: people feel safe and they feel like they can share
Speaker 1: their opinion in a way that's respectful. But at the
Speaker 1: end of the day, we have to know deep in
Speaker 1: our bones, you know who we are, what our experiences
Speaker 1: are coming from, and that our voices do matter, and
Speaker 1: our experiences and our thoughts are just as important as
Speaker 1: anyone else's. Okay, so keep keep keep keeping on. Okay, lady, Oh,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for sharing this question with me.
Speaker 1: I hope this was helpful. I feel you, I hear you,
Speaker 1: I see you, all of it. Okay, let me take
Speaker 1: a quick break and I'll be right back with another
Speaker 1: of your questions. This is Brown Ambition. Hey, hey va
Speaker 1: fam Okay, we are back with our second and last
Speaker 1: question of the day. This one is a juicy one.
Speaker 1: It comes from a listener who would like to remain anonymous,
Speaker 1: so I'm just gonna call her Hailey. Okay, Hailey says, Hey, Mandy,
Speaker 1: I love the podcast, and I've been loving the Q
Speaker 1: and A episodes lately. I have a question I hope
Speaker 1: you can answer. I am resigning for my position at
Speaker 1: a financial services firm due to some really negative circumstances.
Speaker 1: I was sexually harassed and HR essentially did nothing about it.
Speaker 1: There was never a formal onboarding process, so I've been
Speaker 1: in the dark about many fundamental elements of the role,
Speaker 1: and there's absolutely no trust within the team I'm on.
Speaker 1: Everyone on the team, including our director, have gossip to
Speaker 1: me about other members behind their backs. I've heard that
Speaker 1: I shouldn't include complaints or grievances in the letter of resignation,
Speaker 1: But if anyone asks why I'm leaving, I've got pages
Speaker 1: worth of negative experiences I could share. How would you
Speaker 1: approach this situation and would you include any of that
Speaker 1: in a letter or exit interview? Sincerely, a millennial who
Speaker 1: seems to think she can change the old white men
Speaker 1: in the finance industry with two crying face emojis, Oh man,
Speaker 1: another woman who I just want to say, keep going,
Speaker 1: my girl, I keep going. We need more of you
Speaker 1: out there. First of all, I'm sorry, I'm sorry you
Speaker 1: had this awful experience at a financial firm. No less,
Speaker 1: because we all know financial services industries pay a lot
Speaker 1: of lip service these days to wanting more women, especially
Speaker 1: women of color, joining the industry because they are struggling.
Speaker 1: They are finding that, oh, there's a lot of money
Speaker 1: to be had from having diverse clientele, and yet we
Speaker 1: can't give them diverse financial representatives. So let's go start
Speaker 1: a big marketing effort to get more women and people
Speaker 1: of color to want to work here. And clearly what
Speaker 1: they're doing is they're only thinking about how to get
Speaker 1: us stupid door, but not how to actually make us
Speaker 1: succeed once we get there. The fact that you weren't
Speaker 1: even given any sort of orientation process and you're not
Speaker 1: really understanding your role. That screams it's giving, toxic work environment.
Speaker 1: It's giving we want you on the brochure, but we
Speaker 1: don't really care about your longevity in this space or
Speaker 1: in your career. I'm really glad that you're getting on
Speaker 1: a bat of there. I hope your next job is
Speaker 1: nothing like this one. I hope that they give you
Speaker 1: everything that you need to succeed, and I hope that
Speaker 1: you continue being open to leaving whenever you're not being
Speaker 1: valued where you work. Okay, so a couple of things here.
Speaker 1: The sexual harassment unacceptable, the fact that HR did nothing
Speaker 1: about it. That tells me a lot about this company
Speaker 1: and why you are leaving. Now. What to do when
Speaker 1: you feel like you've got a list of grievances a
Speaker 1: mile long, and especially when it's so fresh and you're
Speaker 1: about to resign, It feels like you want to let
Speaker 1: them know why you're leaving, and I honestly support that.
Speaker 1: I think at this point on your way out, how
Speaker 1: much do you have to lose by telling them exactly
Speaker 1: about your experience. And I think you have to kind
Speaker 1: of carefully weigh your options here, play it out in
Speaker 1: your mind. You know, who would you be sharing this
Speaker 1: list of grievances to and what would be the pros
Speaker 1: and cons here now? In your industry and maybe in
Speaker 1: your city, your state. It depends on who's at this
Speaker 1: company and if you think they could make things more
Speaker 1: difficult for you in your career later on, because first
Speaker 1: and foremost you have to protect yourself. And I'm going
Speaker 1: to be a little bit of a cynic here and
Speaker 1: say that if the issues were so deep with this
Speaker 1: company that a sexual harassment claim was not really dealt
Speaker 1: with in an appropriate manner, and someone like you is resigning,
Speaker 1: you know for that and other reasons, that you telling
Speaker 1: them their issues is maybe not gonna change things there
Speaker 1: for the better for the next person behind you, Like,
Speaker 1: is it worth would it be worth potentially putting your
Speaker 1: career at risk if there are people working there now
Speaker 1: who could make things more difficult for you down the road. Now,
Speaker 1: that's a question only you can answer if you kind
Speaker 1: of weigh out the pros and cons and you say,
Speaker 1: you know, I actually don't have much to lose career
Speaker 1: wise professionally, and maybe people work here they'll go on.
Speaker 1: But I feel like my brand is strong enough, I've
Speaker 1: got a great network. Clearly, you're great at your work
Speaker 1: because you were able to get a job when you
Speaker 1: wanted to. But if you feel like pretty confident that
Speaker 1: no one at this company will cause issues for me
Speaker 1: down the line, and on top of that, you're willing
Speaker 1: to stick your neck out there to make things potentially
Speaker 1: better for the next woman who's hired behind you, that's
Speaker 1: a valiant effort. That's a valiant step to take. In
Speaker 1: my opinion, it's brave. It takes courage to put yourself
Speaker 1: out there in that way. Now, how to do it?
Speaker 1: I mean, you want to protect yourself, so I would say,
Speaker 1: you know, putting it in an email is one thing.
Speaker 1: If you have a conversation on the phone, absolutely record it.
Speaker 1: I'm all about kind of having my voice memo on
Speaker 1: for certain phone conversations so that I have a record
Speaker 1: of it. But an email is perfectly fine. You know,
Speaker 1: if you don't have a formal exit interview process, what
Speaker 1: you could do is, you know, write a letter and
Speaker 1: make sure that it's going to the people who have
Speaker 1: the actual power to change things. So I wouldn't send
Speaker 1: an all like company wide email to the whole company
Speaker 1: list serve and just be like, you know what, screw you, guys,
Speaker 1: I'm out, So let me let everyone know. I might
Speaker 1: start with head of HR, your department, head whoever their
Speaker 1: bosses are, and just very you know, objectively. And I
Speaker 1: think I mentioned on a question from last week's episode
Speaker 1: about how important it is to come with some evidence,
Speaker 1: you know, sit down and make a list of here's
Speaker 1: what happened, here's the date, here are the key players,
Speaker 1: and here's how these things made and actively contributed to
Speaker 1: me wanting to leave. And if you approach it that way,
Speaker 1: I really I feel like that's that's the approach that
Speaker 1: I would personally take. If from that email people want
Speaker 1: to have follow up phone calls and they want to
Speaker 1: talk to you, and oh my goodness, we didn't know
Speaker 1: at that point. It's too late. It's their problem. And
Speaker 1: I wouldn't take any of that burden on your shoulders
Speaker 1: to stick around any longer than you absolutely have to
Speaker 1: and help them get to the bottom of what happened.
Speaker 1: Like it's too late for all that you're just trying
Speaker 1: to let them know so that things can maybe get
Speaker 1: a little bit incrementally better for the next person who
Speaker 1: comes behind you. And I think that, honestly, you're doing
Speaker 1: them a service. You're helping them. You're giving them an
Speaker 1: opportunity to clean up a little bit and to get better.
Speaker 1: And if they take the opportunity or they don't, that's
Speaker 1: not on your shoulders. You can say what you got
Speaker 1: to say and then keep it moving. All right. I'm
Speaker 1: so excited for you about your new opportunity. Thank you
Speaker 1: for being brave enough to even consider the idea of
Speaker 1: telling them what happened to you. There is power in
Speaker 1: our stories. I hope that they hear your story and
Speaker 1: they take action. But at least you can take heart
Speaker 1: and mils that you know, hey, I went out of
Speaker 1: my way to tell them what happened, and then kind
Speaker 1: of take that pressure off yourself and take that burden
Speaker 1: off your own shoulders to actually create the change that
Speaker 1: obviously needs to be happening there so that things are
Speaker 1: not so bad for the next person who comes along.
Speaker 1: One thing that you didn't mention is whether or not
Speaker 1: they already have a formal interview, a formal exit interview process,
Speaker 1: and if there is going to be a formal exit interview,
Speaker 1: I would absolutely you know, come prepared with that list
Speaker 1: and ask them. You know, I actually do have some
Speaker 1: points I'd like to make. Would you prefer I cover
Speaker 1: that in a phone call or would you like me
Speaker 1: to just forward you on this email and it can
Speaker 1: do the talking for me. That's more than fine, honestly, whatever,
Speaker 1: whatever's gonna get your point across with the least amount
Speaker 1: of work on your side, that's what I would do,
Speaker 1: so you can save it for the exit interview. Like
Speaker 1: I said, if you want to take things a step further,
Speaker 1: you could make sure that a copy of those grievances
Speaker 1: are emailed not just to the person conducting your exit interview,
Speaker 1: but the people who are responsible for whatever grievances. You
Speaker 1: know you're calling out their managers, like you could decide
Speaker 1: how you want to escalate it. It all comes back to,
Speaker 1: you know, what's the risk versus reward here and are
Speaker 1: you doing things you know in a way that is
Speaker 1: going to help hopefully make things better for your other
Speaker 1: colleagues you're leaving behind. And that can tell you, like
Speaker 1: on a scale of one to really bad, petty how
Speaker 1: petty you want to be. I would go for covering
Speaker 1: it in an exit interview, following up with an email
Speaker 1: and just tagging, copying the people who really have the
Speaker 1: power to rectify the situation, copying on that, and then
Speaker 1: let it go. At that point, you've done much you
Speaker 1: need to do. Go to your new opportunity, go to
Speaker 1: your new job, start this new chapter in your life.
Speaker 1: Always remember what happened to you here so that it
Speaker 1: makes you a better leader in the future, and talk
Speaker 1: about it, and you know, find people who can support
Speaker 1: you in the future. And that's really all you're responsible
Speaker 1: for at the end of the day. All right, Miss
Speaker 1: Haley aka millennial who seems to think she can change
Speaker 1: the old white men in the finance industry. Yes, I
Speaker 1: hope you're not a alone there, because they, y'all the
Speaker 1: financial industry needs so much help. Okay, that is it
Speaker 1: for B, a Q and A for this week. I'm
Speaker 1: Mandy Woodriff Santos. Thank you so much for listening to
Speaker 1: the show. Don't forget to subscribe, Share, tell a friend,
Speaker 1: tell a friend about Brown Ambition. Tag us on all
Speaker 1: of your amazing social media posts. I love to see them,
Speaker 1: I comment, I share, I retweet, I reshare all that
Speaker 1: good stuff. Thank you so much again, be a fam
Speaker 1: and I will see you next week. Hey ba fam,
Speaker 1: we could not do this show without your support or
Speaker 1: the support of our team behind the scenes. The Brown
Speaker 1: Ambition Podcast is produced by Cumulus Podcast Network. It's edited
Speaker 1: by the wonderful Emani Crosby and produced by Tanya Bustos.
Speaker 1: Dennis Stimplinsky is our in house tech guru, and I
Speaker 1: am Bandy Woodriff Santos your co host, and I will
Speaker 1: see y'all next week.