1 00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:08,640 Speaker 1: Hey, hey, ba fam, I have got some really freaking 2 00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:12,920 Speaker 1: incredible news. We have been nominated for a Webby, y'all. 3 00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:15,760 Speaker 1: The Webby is the oscars of the Internet. And the 4 00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:18,480 Speaker 1: fact that Brown Ambition has been recognized with a nomination 5 00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:23,040 Speaker 1: for Best Business Podcast this is incredible. The most incredible 6 00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:25,319 Speaker 1: thing of all about being nominated for a Webby is 7 00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:27,800 Speaker 1: that you, guys can help decide who wins. That means 8 00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:31,480 Speaker 1: you can vote for us. Go to Webby Awards dot com. 9 00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:36,280 Speaker 1: That's we b b y A w r ds dot com, 10 00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:40,839 Speaker 1: find the Best Business Podcast Award nominees and vote for 11 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:44,519 Speaker 1: Brown Ambition. You can also check the show notes. We'll 12 00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:46,239 Speaker 1: put a link to where you can vote there for 13 00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:48,680 Speaker 1: easy voting. But tell a friend to tell a friend. 14 00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:51,360 Speaker 1: If we take home this award, it's going to be 15 00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:54,080 Speaker 1: so symbolic of all the hard work we put into 16 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:57,600 Speaker 1: this show and of how incredible our BA family is. 17 00:00:57,680 --> 00:01:01,240 Speaker 1: So go vote for us. Voting is open now through 18 00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:04,240 Speaker 1: April twenty first. Thank y'all so much for your support. 19 00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:07,480 Speaker 1: Thank you the Webby Awards for nominating us. Now let's 20 00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:11,720 Speaker 1: take this on or home, y'all. Hey, hey va fam, 21 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:14,720 Speaker 1: it's Mandy. I am back with another episode of the 22 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:18,880 Speaker 1: Brown Ambition QNA. I am loving getting y'all's questions. Y'all 23 00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:21,320 Speaker 1: have some doozies for me this week though, some really 24 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:24,200 Speaker 1: juicy career questions. I cannot wait to dive into those. 25 00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:26,759 Speaker 1: But before I do, I've got to remind y'all how 26 00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:30,280 Speaker 1: to submit your questions. Head over to Brownambitionpodcast dot com. 27 00:01:30,319 --> 00:01:32,440 Speaker 1: You can simit a question there, or you can slide 28 00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:35,160 Speaker 1: into our DMS. We are at Brown Ambition Podcast on 29 00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:43,720 Speaker 1: ig Send us your questions again, finances, career, relationship, pet, maintenance, whatever, 30 00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:46,560 Speaker 1: Just send me your questions. Okay, I'm happy to take 31 00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:49,720 Speaker 1: them on the show without further ado. Let's jump right 32 00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:52,280 Speaker 1: on into these questions for the week. We've got two 33 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:55,520 Speaker 1: who are very justifiably so going to be required to 34 00:01:55,560 --> 00:01:58,960 Speaker 1: be anonymous, which is fine. Our first question comes from 35 00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:02,160 Speaker 1: a woman who works in broadcast news and ooh, I 36 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:05,800 Speaker 1: felt this question deep, deeply inside my bone. So let's 37 00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:08,840 Speaker 1: get into it. Okay, here's our first question. Let's call 38 00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:13,360 Speaker 1: her Oprah Winfrey because she works in broadcast news. So 39 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:18,320 Speaker 1: Oprah says, how do you navigate whitesplaining both on social 40 00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:21,600 Speaker 1: media and in the workplace. I'm a news anchor and 41 00:02:21,639 --> 00:02:25,000 Speaker 1: I recently posted an IG video about why job seekers 42 00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:28,840 Speaker 1: should network and proactively pitch themselves to their hiring managers 43 00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:32,560 Speaker 1: rather than reactively waiting for job descriptions to be posted. 44 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:35,320 Speaker 1: I received a comment on the video from a white 45 00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:38,760 Speaker 1: woman who says she works in HR. She said networking 46 00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:40,960 Speaker 1: is a good supplement in the job search, but is 47 00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:44,560 Speaker 1: not a replacement for sending an online application. She also 48 00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:48,200 Speaker 1: explained it's inaccurate to say many jobs aren't posted online 49 00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:52,320 Speaker 1: as job descriptions kickstart the hiring process. While I don't 50 00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:55,240 Speaker 1: doubt this is how the hiring process works at her company, 51 00:02:55,320 --> 00:02:57,519 Speaker 1: I'm really annoyed that she went out of her way 52 00:02:57,560 --> 00:02:59,760 Speaker 1: to try to correct me when I know what I 53 00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:03,239 Speaker 1: said was accurate for many companies and industries. I don't 54 00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:05,480 Speaker 1: mind if people correct me when I'm actually wrong, but 55 00:03:05,639 --> 00:03:08,760 Speaker 1: I found whenever I'm corrected by someone with inaccurate information, 56 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:12,240 Speaker 1: the correction is always coming from a white woman or 57 00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:15,160 Speaker 1: a white or Asian man. I'm tended to point this 58 00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:17,720 Speaker 1: out when I respond to their comments, but I never 59 00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:19,880 Speaker 1: do because I don't want to be seen as playing 60 00:03:19,919 --> 00:03:23,360 Speaker 1: the race card. My question isn't necessarily about how to 61 00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:26,239 Speaker 1: respond but I'd love to hear how you navigate white 62 00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:29,559 Speaker 1: splaining and how you prevent it from ruining your afternoon. 63 00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:33,160 Speaker 1: I'm just so tired of dealing with whitesplainning from mediocre people, 64 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:40,320 Speaker 1: and it triggers so much anxiety whenever it happens. Okay, lady, oh, 65 00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:45,800 Speaker 1: lady Oh, listen first and foremost as as a fellow 66 00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:48,640 Speaker 1: woman of color who's out there on these internet streets 67 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:52,040 Speaker 1: sharing her point of view on many subjects, including how 68 00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:54,800 Speaker 1: to network, and I will back you up one thousand 69 00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:58,440 Speaker 1: percent on what you have said. It is so important 70 00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:01,360 Speaker 1: to think about way more more than just applying online 71 00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:03,440 Speaker 1: for jobs when you really want to get to the 72 00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:05,640 Speaker 1: next level of your career. And while it can be 73 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:09,240 Speaker 1: true that and I just had a coaching mentor mentee 74 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:10,960 Speaker 1: of mine today who told me that she got an 75 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:14,480 Speaker 1: amazing job as an assistant director at a major company 76 00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:17,520 Speaker 1: and she applied online. So absolutely it can happen. It 77 00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:19,479 Speaker 1: can happen. From filling out a job application, you can 78 00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:24,880 Speaker 1: get an opportunity. However, it is factual that many, many, many, 79 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:27,280 Speaker 1: in fact, the large majority of jobs are not even 80 00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:31,599 Speaker 1: posted online. They aren't they're being filled internally. They're being 81 00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:35,479 Speaker 1: passed to candidates, from recruiters, from hiring managers before they're 82 00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:39,560 Speaker 1: even published, you know, formally online. So I back you 83 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:42,080 Speaker 1: up one hundred percent. But to your point, as someone 84 00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:45,520 Speaker 1: who is out there constantly sharing my point of view 85 00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:48,960 Speaker 1: and trying to help people by sharing my perspective on 86 00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:51,520 Speaker 1: lots of different career and finance questions, just as I 87 00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:53,960 Speaker 1: do on the show right now, you do open yourself 88 00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:58,240 Speaker 1: up to critiques. You do open yourself up to other 89 00:04:58,279 --> 00:05:01,360 Speaker 1: people sharing their opinions in return, I had to really 90 00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:03,880 Speaker 1: check myself to be honest. I had to check myself 91 00:05:04,279 --> 00:05:08,919 Speaker 1: from that instant gut reaction of like, who are you 92 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:12,000 Speaker 1: to tell me that my opinion is wrong? I'm correct, 93 00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:14,720 Speaker 1: Here's what I've said. I had to stop myself from 94 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:18,160 Speaker 1: kind of having that initial negative, like you said, ruin 95 00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:21,559 Speaker 1: my whole afternoon response to someone like a naysayer trying 96 00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:24,479 Speaker 1: to tell me that what I said wasn't accurate. What 97 00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:26,880 Speaker 1: I tried to do even more for myself was remind 98 00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:30,479 Speaker 1: myself what was my rationale for what I said? What 99 00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:34,600 Speaker 1: was how how did I say it? Was I factually correct? 100 00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:38,080 Speaker 1: And actually being open to another's perspective I think is 101 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:40,560 Speaker 1: something that we can all do a better job of now. 102 00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:43,520 Speaker 1: As black women listen, we are challenged in a way 103 00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:46,560 Speaker 1: at a fever pitch that is not seen I don't 104 00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:50,200 Speaker 1: think by other categories of people when you see a 105 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:54,640 Speaker 1: black woman who knows what she's talking about and has 106 00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:58,000 Speaker 1: the confidence to assert herself and to say with her 107 00:05:58,040 --> 00:06:01,040 Speaker 1: full chest how she feels on a certain map. I 108 00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:03,000 Speaker 1: don't have any data to back this up right now, 109 00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:05,480 Speaker 1: but would I would hazard a guess that we are 110 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:08,640 Speaker 1: more likely to be We are more likely to be 111 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:12,560 Speaker 1: seen as not qualified to come up with that opinion 112 00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:15,440 Speaker 1: to oh, well, she doesn't have this degree or she 113 00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:17,320 Speaker 1: doesn't work in that field, so how does she know? 114 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:20,640 Speaker 1: And to try to be, as you said, white's blained 115 00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:24,120 Speaker 1: or man's blained or whatever, just basically look down upon 116 00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:28,440 Speaker 1: and patronized by other people. That's sort of our burden 117 00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:31,080 Speaker 1: to bear. I feel like I don't want that to stop. 118 00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:34,600 Speaker 1: You do not stop, Okay, do not stop, lady. Oh continue, 119 00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:36,800 Speaker 1: You've got to keep sharing your voice, because for every 120 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:38,920 Speaker 1: person who's taking the time out of their day to 121 00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:41,360 Speaker 1: leave you a comment and try to tear you down, 122 00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:44,680 Speaker 1: there's many, many, many other viewers who are probably really 123 00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:46,720 Speaker 1: empowered by what you're telling them. And I see this 124 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:50,680 Speaker 1: every single day. So a couple of ways that I 125 00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:54,680 Speaker 1: don't let negative comments, regardless of who they come from, white, black, whoever. 126 00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:57,480 Speaker 1: How I don't let them ruin my day is I 127 00:06:58,080 --> 00:07:01,520 Speaker 1: take time to read the positive comments too. Okay, those 128 00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:03,839 Speaker 1: comments matter, but they don't sting us the way that 129 00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:06,800 Speaker 1: negative comments do. Right. I just had someone last week 130 00:07:06,839 --> 00:07:10,360 Speaker 1: who told my followers do not follow her. She literally 131 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:13,120 Speaker 1: said this came on my page. I'm Brown ambition and said, 132 00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:15,200 Speaker 1: do not follow her. She does not know of what 133 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:19,200 Speaker 1: she speaks. And it was all about the conversation I 134 00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:22,680 Speaker 1: had in a recent BEAQ at a episode about how 135 00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:25,840 Speaker 1: a resume is not the only thing that matters when 136 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:29,360 Speaker 1: it comes to getting your dream job. This person, who 137 00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:33,040 Speaker 1: liked to point out that she worked in HR said no, no, no, no, no, 138 00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:35,920 Speaker 1: this is not accurate. Don't follow Amandy. She's inaccurate. Blah 139 00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:38,240 Speaker 1: blah blah. Had I let that kind of ruin my day, 140 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:41,480 Speaker 1: it would have discounted all the other amazing comments and 141 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:45,000 Speaker 1: responses I've got from readers or listeners to the show. 142 00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:47,120 Speaker 1: And I don't want you to get in that space 143 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:51,160 Speaker 1: where the naysayers are the voices that are ricocheting around 144 00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:54,560 Speaker 1: your mind. You have to actively fill your mind with 145 00:07:54,680 --> 00:08:00,600 Speaker 1: positive affirmations, with positive reassurances, and positive feedback that you're getting. 146 00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:03,960 Speaker 1: I assure you that you are getting it from your followers, 147 00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:08,320 Speaker 1: from your viewers, from your colleagues, from your managers. Those 148 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:11,559 Speaker 1: are the people whose opinions ultimately matter. Right And also 149 00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:15,080 Speaker 1: one of the reasons that I have gotten so much 150 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:17,480 Speaker 1: more confident and sharing my point of view on things 151 00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:22,240 Speaker 1: is because things happen to me, and you can't tell 152 00:08:22,280 --> 00:08:24,000 Speaker 1: me that something didn't happen to me and I didn't 153 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:26,600 Speaker 1: see something like I stand in my truth with and 154 00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:28,960 Speaker 1: I speak of what I know. I speak from my 155 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:31,880 Speaker 1: own experience, and I speak from my heart. And at 156 00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:34,040 Speaker 1: the end of the day, it's impossible for anyone to 157 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:36,880 Speaker 1: tell me that my point of view doesn't matter and 158 00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:38,679 Speaker 1: that it's not accurate. They may not agree with it, 159 00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:41,520 Speaker 1: but what you can't do is take away from my 160 00:08:41,679 --> 00:08:44,800 Speaker 1: experience and what I have seen. And all I'm doing 161 00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:49,160 Speaker 1: is sharing my opinion and my thoughts based on those experiences. 162 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:52,440 Speaker 1: So it's going to happen. This is the beauty of 163 00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:55,120 Speaker 1: having a public platform and sharing your point of view. 164 00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:58,800 Speaker 1: But ooh, lady, oh, please don't stop, Please keep going 165 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:02,760 Speaker 1: and let me be the first of many positive reaffirmations. 166 00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:05,200 Speaker 1: Is that even a word reaffirmation? Let me be one 167 00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:07,480 Speaker 1: of the positive voices that you hear today. And I 168 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:09,880 Speaker 1: want you to keep what I'm saying close to you 169 00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:13,200 Speaker 1: and don't let the negative, you know, negative comments be 170 00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:16,200 Speaker 1: what carries you throughout the day. Listen to me. I'm 171 00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:18,400 Speaker 1: telling you that you're doing great work. I'm telling you 172 00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:20,760 Speaker 1: that I agree with you. I'm telling you to keep going. 173 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:23,560 Speaker 1: And I think for all of us, it's really about 174 00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:26,200 Speaker 1: who are we gonna choose to Let's sit with us, 175 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:28,680 Speaker 1: and let's sit on our spirits and let's sit in 176 00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:31,319 Speaker 1: our mind. Who are we carrying with us? Whose voices 177 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:32,920 Speaker 1: are we going to carry with us throughout the day. 178 00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:36,719 Speaker 1: And I try to do my best to carry positive 179 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:39,800 Speaker 1: voices with me wherever I go. It doesn't mean that 180 00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:42,040 Speaker 1: the negative voices are not there, and often they're my 181 00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:44,720 Speaker 1: damn own negative voice, you know what I mean. But 182 00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:48,920 Speaker 1: I do try to actively seek out positive vibes from 183 00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:52,600 Speaker 1: other people. I ask for feedback I literally have. I'm 184 00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:54,199 Speaker 1: not even gonna lie, i'mnn tell you all my secret 185 00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:57,560 Speaker 1: to happiness. When I'm having a really shitty day, I 186 00:09:58,080 --> 00:10:01,080 Speaker 1: survey every single one of my coaches clients. After I 187 00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:03,560 Speaker 1: chat with them, they get a little survey ask for 188 00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:06,480 Speaker 1: their feedback. And I don't check this spreadsheet of my 189 00:10:06,559 --> 00:10:09,559 Speaker 1: responses every day, but when I'm having a really shitty day, 190 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:12,080 Speaker 1: I sure do. I open up that spreadsheet and I 191 00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:15,280 Speaker 1: read what they have to say, and I skip right 192 00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:17,680 Speaker 1: to the positive feedback column. Yes, I ask for what 193 00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:19,720 Speaker 1: could have been better, but that's not what I'm concerned 194 00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:21,800 Speaker 1: about in that moment. I want to read the positive 195 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:27,160 Speaker 1: love and support and happy vibes from the people that 196 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:29,040 Speaker 1: I have helped, and I just think we all could 197 00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:31,320 Speaker 1: use a little bit more of that. It doesn't mean 198 00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:33,760 Speaker 1: that we can't take a bit of criticism. I think 199 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,160 Speaker 1: we should all be open to that, and certainly on 200 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:38,480 Speaker 1: the Internet, like I'm trying to create a space where 201 00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:41,240 Speaker 1: people feel safe and they feel like they can share 202 00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:44,439 Speaker 1: their opinion in a way that's respectful. But at the 203 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:46,720 Speaker 1: end of the day, we have to know deep in 204 00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:49,720 Speaker 1: our bones, you know who we are, what our experiences 205 00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:53,760 Speaker 1: are coming from, and that our voices do matter, and 206 00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:57,960 Speaker 1: our experiences and our thoughts are just as important as 207 00:10:57,960 --> 00:11:03,400 Speaker 1: anyone else's. Okay, so keep keep keep keeping on. Okay, lady, Oh, 208 00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:06,320 Speaker 1: thank you so much for sharing this question with me. 209 00:11:06,559 --> 00:11:09,679 Speaker 1: I hope this was helpful. I feel you, I hear you, 210 00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:12,240 Speaker 1: I see you, all of it. Okay, let me take 211 00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:15,280 Speaker 1: a quick break and I'll be right back with another 212 00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:19,360 Speaker 1: of your questions. This is Brown Ambition. Hey, hey va 213 00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:21,959 Speaker 1: fam Okay, we are back with our second and last 214 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:24,360 Speaker 1: question of the day. This one is a juicy one. 215 00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:26,720 Speaker 1: It comes from a listener who would like to remain anonymous, 216 00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:30,280 Speaker 1: so I'm just gonna call her Hailey. Okay, Hailey says, Hey, Mandy, 217 00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:32,480 Speaker 1: I love the podcast, and I've been loving the Q 218 00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:34,880 Speaker 1: and A episodes lately. I have a question I hope 219 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:38,040 Speaker 1: you can answer. I am resigning for my position at 220 00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:42,280 Speaker 1: a financial services firm due to some really negative circumstances. 221 00:11:42,679 --> 00:11:46,400 Speaker 1: I was sexually harassed and HR essentially did nothing about it. 222 00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:49,520 Speaker 1: There was never a formal onboarding process, so I've been 223 00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:52,560 Speaker 1: in the dark about many fundamental elements of the role, 224 00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:55,640 Speaker 1: and there's absolutely no trust within the team I'm on. 225 00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:59,080 Speaker 1: Everyone on the team, including our director, have gossip to 226 00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:02,080 Speaker 1: me about other members behind their backs. I've heard that 227 00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:05,840 Speaker 1: I shouldn't include complaints or grievances in the letter of resignation, 228 00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:09,320 Speaker 1: But if anyone asks why I'm leaving, I've got pages 229 00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:12,560 Speaker 1: worth of negative experiences I could share. How would you 230 00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:15,400 Speaker 1: approach this situation and would you include any of that 231 00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:19,120 Speaker 1: in a letter or exit interview? Sincerely, a millennial who 232 00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:21,360 Speaker 1: seems to think she can change the old white men 233 00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:26,680 Speaker 1: in the finance industry with two crying face emojis, Oh man, 234 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:29,480 Speaker 1: another woman who I just want to say, keep going, 235 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:32,600 Speaker 1: my girl, I keep going. We need more of you 236 00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:35,880 Speaker 1: out there. First of all, I'm sorry, I'm sorry you 237 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:39,000 Speaker 1: had this awful experience at a financial firm. No less, 238 00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:43,040 Speaker 1: because we all know financial services industries pay a lot 239 00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:45,800 Speaker 1: of lip service these days to wanting more women, especially 240 00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:50,719 Speaker 1: women of color, joining the industry because they are struggling. 241 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,040 Speaker 1: They are finding that, oh, there's a lot of money 242 00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:55,560 Speaker 1: to be had from having diverse clientele, and yet we 243 00:12:55,600 --> 00:13:00,199 Speaker 1: can't give them diverse financial representatives. So let's go start 244 00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:02,480 Speaker 1: a big marketing effort to get more women and people 245 00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:05,880 Speaker 1: of color to want to work here. And clearly what 246 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:08,480 Speaker 1: they're doing is they're only thinking about how to get 247 00:13:08,559 --> 00:13:11,200 Speaker 1: us stupid door, but not how to actually make us 248 00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:13,800 Speaker 1: succeed once we get there. The fact that you weren't 249 00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:16,640 Speaker 1: even given any sort of orientation process and you're not 250 00:13:16,679 --> 00:13:22,520 Speaker 1: really understanding your role. That screams it's giving, toxic work environment. 251 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:25,640 Speaker 1: It's giving we want you on the brochure, but we 252 00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:29,320 Speaker 1: don't really care about your longevity in this space or 253 00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:31,959 Speaker 1: in your career. I'm really glad that you're getting on 254 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:34,200 Speaker 1: a bat of there. I hope your next job is 255 00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:36,760 Speaker 1: nothing like this one. I hope that they give you 256 00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:38,880 Speaker 1: everything that you need to succeed, and I hope that 257 00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:42,200 Speaker 1: you continue being open to leaving whenever you're not being 258 00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:46,040 Speaker 1: valued where you work. Okay, so a couple of things here. 259 00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:49,520 Speaker 1: The sexual harassment unacceptable, the fact that HR did nothing 260 00:13:49,559 --> 00:13:52,160 Speaker 1: about it. That tells me a lot about this company 261 00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:55,360 Speaker 1: and why you are leaving. Now. What to do when 262 00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:57,640 Speaker 1: you feel like you've got a list of grievances a 263 00:13:57,720 --> 00:14:00,880 Speaker 1: mile long, and especially when it's so fresh and you're 264 00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:04,120 Speaker 1: about to resign, It feels like you want to let 265 00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:08,120 Speaker 1: them know why you're leaving, and I honestly support that. 266 00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:11,640 Speaker 1: I think at this point on your way out, how 267 00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:14,400 Speaker 1: much do you have to lose by telling them exactly 268 00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:16,280 Speaker 1: about your experience. And I think you have to kind 269 00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:20,080 Speaker 1: of carefully weigh your options here, play it out in 270 00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:22,280 Speaker 1: your mind. You know, who would you be sharing this 271 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:25,720 Speaker 1: list of grievances to and what would be the pros 272 00:14:25,720 --> 00:14:28,960 Speaker 1: and cons here now? In your industry and maybe in 273 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:33,040 Speaker 1: your city, your state. It depends on who's at this 274 00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:35,280 Speaker 1: company and if you think they could make things more 275 00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:37,640 Speaker 1: difficult for you in your career later on, because first 276 00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:40,760 Speaker 1: and foremost you have to protect yourself. And I'm going 277 00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:42,400 Speaker 1: to be a little bit of a cynic here and 278 00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:44,560 Speaker 1: say that if the issues were so deep with this 279 00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:47,800 Speaker 1: company that a sexual harassment claim was not really dealt 280 00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:51,120 Speaker 1: with in an appropriate manner, and someone like you is resigning, 281 00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:55,000 Speaker 1: you know for that and other reasons, that you telling 282 00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:59,680 Speaker 1: them their issues is maybe not gonna change things there 283 00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:01,800 Speaker 1: for the better for the next person behind you, Like, 284 00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:05,200 Speaker 1: is it worth would it be worth potentially putting your 285 00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:08,040 Speaker 1: career at risk if there are people working there now 286 00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:10,920 Speaker 1: who could make things more difficult for you down the road. Now, 287 00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:14,480 Speaker 1: that's a question only you can answer if you kind 288 00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:16,360 Speaker 1: of weigh out the pros and cons and you say, 289 00:15:16,360 --> 00:15:19,240 Speaker 1: you know, I actually don't have much to lose career 290 00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:22,760 Speaker 1: wise professionally, and maybe people work here they'll go on. 291 00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:24,880 Speaker 1: But I feel like my brand is strong enough, I've 292 00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:27,440 Speaker 1: got a great network. Clearly, you're great at your work 293 00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:28,960 Speaker 1: because you were able to get a job when you 294 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:31,960 Speaker 1: wanted to. But if you feel like pretty confident that 295 00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:34,960 Speaker 1: no one at this company will cause issues for me 296 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,200 Speaker 1: down the line, and on top of that, you're willing 297 00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:39,920 Speaker 1: to stick your neck out there to make things potentially 298 00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:42,880 Speaker 1: better for the next woman who's hired behind you, that's 299 00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:45,560 Speaker 1: a valiant effort. That's a valiant step to take. In 300 00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:49,480 Speaker 1: my opinion, it's brave. It takes courage to put yourself 301 00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:52,240 Speaker 1: out there in that way. Now, how to do it? 302 00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:54,160 Speaker 1: I mean, you want to protect yourself, so I would say, 303 00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:56,280 Speaker 1: you know, putting it in an email is one thing. 304 00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:59,680 Speaker 1: If you have a conversation on the phone, absolutely record it. 305 00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:03,480 Speaker 1: I'm all about kind of having my voice memo on 306 00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:05,960 Speaker 1: for certain phone conversations so that I have a record 307 00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:09,520 Speaker 1: of it. But an email is perfectly fine. You know, 308 00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:12,080 Speaker 1: if you don't have a formal exit interview process, what 309 00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:14,520 Speaker 1: you could do is, you know, write a letter and 310 00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:17,720 Speaker 1: make sure that it's going to the people who have 311 00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:20,800 Speaker 1: the actual power to change things. So I wouldn't send 312 00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:24,640 Speaker 1: an all like company wide email to the whole company 313 00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:27,400 Speaker 1: list serve and just be like, you know what, screw you, guys, 314 00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:30,000 Speaker 1: I'm out, So let me let everyone know. I might 315 00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:34,000 Speaker 1: start with head of HR, your department, head whoever their 316 00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:39,160 Speaker 1: bosses are, and just very you know, objectively. And I 317 00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:42,040 Speaker 1: think I mentioned on a question from last week's episode 318 00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:44,560 Speaker 1: about how important it is to come with some evidence, 319 00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:47,240 Speaker 1: you know, sit down and make a list of here's 320 00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:49,560 Speaker 1: what happened, here's the date, here are the key players, 321 00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:52,520 Speaker 1: and here's how these things made and actively contributed to 322 00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:56,200 Speaker 1: me wanting to leave. And if you approach it that way, 323 00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:59,320 Speaker 1: I really I feel like that's that's the approach that 324 00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:03,640 Speaker 1: I would personally take. If from that email people want 325 00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:05,600 Speaker 1: to have follow up phone calls and they want to 326 00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:07,760 Speaker 1: talk to you, and oh my goodness, we didn't know 327 00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:10,439 Speaker 1: at that point. It's too late. It's their problem. And 328 00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:13,280 Speaker 1: I wouldn't take any of that burden on your shoulders 329 00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:15,840 Speaker 1: to stick around any longer than you absolutely have to 330 00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:18,119 Speaker 1: and help them get to the bottom of what happened. 331 00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:20,440 Speaker 1: Like it's too late for all that you're just trying 332 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:22,200 Speaker 1: to let them know so that things can maybe get 333 00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:25,080 Speaker 1: a little bit incrementally better for the next person who 334 00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:28,360 Speaker 1: comes behind you. And I think that, honestly, you're doing 335 00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:30,760 Speaker 1: them a service. You're helping them. You're giving them an 336 00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:34,520 Speaker 1: opportunity to clean up a little bit and to get better. 337 00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:37,760 Speaker 1: And if they take the opportunity or they don't, that's 338 00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:40,000 Speaker 1: not on your shoulders. You can say what you got 339 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:44,320 Speaker 1: to say and then keep it moving. All right. I'm 340 00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:47,480 Speaker 1: so excited for you about your new opportunity. Thank you 341 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:52,399 Speaker 1: for being brave enough to even consider the idea of 342 00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:55,439 Speaker 1: telling them what happened to you. There is power in 343 00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:57,600 Speaker 1: our stories. I hope that they hear your story and 344 00:17:57,640 --> 00:17:59,640 Speaker 1: they take action. But at least you can take heart 345 00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:02,679 Speaker 1: and mils that you know, hey, I went out of 346 00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:05,280 Speaker 1: my way to tell them what happened, and then kind 347 00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:08,159 Speaker 1: of take that pressure off yourself and take that burden 348 00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:11,199 Speaker 1: off your own shoulders to actually create the change that 349 00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:14,160 Speaker 1: obviously needs to be happening there so that things are 350 00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:16,639 Speaker 1: not so bad for the next person who comes along. 351 00:18:17,119 --> 00:18:18,800 Speaker 1: One thing that you didn't mention is whether or not 352 00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:22,640 Speaker 1: they already have a formal interview, a formal exit interview process, 353 00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:25,480 Speaker 1: and if there is going to be a formal exit interview, 354 00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:28,440 Speaker 1: I would absolutely you know, come prepared with that list 355 00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:30,560 Speaker 1: and ask them. You know, I actually do have some 356 00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:32,480 Speaker 1: points I'd like to make. Would you prefer I cover 357 00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:33,879 Speaker 1: that in a phone call or would you like me 358 00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:35,479 Speaker 1: to just forward you on this email and it can 359 00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:38,840 Speaker 1: do the talking for me. That's more than fine, honestly, whatever, 360 00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:41,560 Speaker 1: whatever's gonna get your point across with the least amount 361 00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:43,439 Speaker 1: of work on your side, that's what I would do, 362 00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:46,239 Speaker 1: so you can save it for the exit interview. Like 363 00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:48,240 Speaker 1: I said, if you want to take things a step further, 364 00:18:48,359 --> 00:18:50,719 Speaker 1: you could make sure that a copy of those grievances 365 00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:54,000 Speaker 1: are emailed not just to the person conducting your exit interview, 366 00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:57,679 Speaker 1: but the people who are responsible for whatever grievances. You 367 00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:00,600 Speaker 1: know you're calling out their managers, like you could decide 368 00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:03,000 Speaker 1: how you want to escalate it. It all comes back to, 369 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:06,560 Speaker 1: you know, what's the risk versus reward here and are 370 00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:09,719 Speaker 1: you doing things you know in a way that is 371 00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:12,600 Speaker 1: going to help hopefully make things better for your other 372 00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:15,480 Speaker 1: colleagues you're leaving behind. And that can tell you, like 373 00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:18,080 Speaker 1: on a scale of one to really bad, petty how 374 00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:20,879 Speaker 1: petty you want to be. I would go for covering 375 00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:23,640 Speaker 1: it in an exit interview, following up with an email 376 00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:27,080 Speaker 1: and just tagging, copying the people who really have the 377 00:19:27,119 --> 00:19:30,560 Speaker 1: power to rectify the situation, copying on that, and then 378 00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:33,879 Speaker 1: let it go. At that point, you've done much you 379 00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:37,080 Speaker 1: need to do. Go to your new opportunity, go to 380 00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:39,359 Speaker 1: your new job, start this new chapter in your life. 381 00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:42,119 Speaker 1: Always remember what happened to you here so that it 382 00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:44,520 Speaker 1: makes you a better leader in the future, and talk 383 00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:47,080 Speaker 1: about it, and you know, find people who can support 384 00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:49,760 Speaker 1: you in the future. And that's really all you're responsible 385 00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:51,880 Speaker 1: for at the end of the day. All right, Miss 386 00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:55,160 Speaker 1: Haley aka millennial who seems to think she can change 387 00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:58,199 Speaker 1: the old white men in the finance industry. Yes, I 388 00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:01,159 Speaker 1: hope you're not a alone there, because they, y'all the 389 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:04,080 Speaker 1: financial industry needs so much help. Okay, that is it 390 00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:06,920 Speaker 1: for B, a Q and A for this week. I'm 391 00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:09,679 Speaker 1: Mandy Woodriff Santos. Thank you so much for listening to 392 00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:13,320 Speaker 1: the show. Don't forget to subscribe, Share, tell a friend, 393 00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:16,400 Speaker 1: tell a friend about Brown Ambition. Tag us on all 394 00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:19,600 Speaker 1: of your amazing social media posts. I love to see them, 395 00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:24,000 Speaker 1: I comment, I share, I retweet, I reshare all that 396 00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:27,000 Speaker 1: good stuff. Thank you so much again, be a fam 397 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:30,240 Speaker 1: and I will see you next week. Hey ba fam, 398 00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:32,639 Speaker 1: we could not do this show without your support or 399 00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:35,400 Speaker 1: the support of our team behind the scenes. The Brown 400 00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:39,399 Speaker 1: Ambition Podcast is produced by Cumulus Podcast Network. It's edited 401 00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:43,200 Speaker 1: by the wonderful Emani Crosby and produced by Tanya Bustos. 402 00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:46,840 Speaker 1: Dennis Stimplinsky is our in house tech guru, and I 403 00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:49,800 Speaker 1: am Bandy Woodriff Santos your co host, and I will 404 00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:51,040 Speaker 1: see y'all next week.