Speaker 1: Oh, I Suck Good Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared
Speaker 1: and I Heart radio podcast. Hey guys, welcome to another
Speaker 1: episode of Help I Suck at Dating. That's right, it's
Speaker 1: a female voice. It's me. I haven't left this podcast.
Speaker 1: I've been away for a couple of days. Dean is
Speaker 1: in studio, Jared, I think, is out at a charity event. Um,
Speaker 1: but I'm very excited to be back, very excited for
Speaker 1: our two guests that are coming on today, one being
Speaker 1: an quote unquote apparently ex boyfriend of mine. It's going
Speaker 1: to get I don't even know how to say his
Speaker 1: last name, Bordakovski board for six months. You don't even
Speaker 1: know how to say his last name. I don't know
Speaker 1: how to say his last name. And my girl, Taylor Nolan,
Speaker 1: who was on nixt season, is going to be coming
Speaker 1: on and talking to us about her relationship. She's doing
Speaker 1: the Long D and she's going to give us some
Speaker 1: advice on that. She's doing the Long D. She's doing
Speaker 1: the Long D. That's pretty funny. Um. Yeah, So we
Speaker 1: we have Alex on hold at the moment. We'll get
Speaker 1: him on one second, but before we do, I'm sure
Speaker 1: our listeners out there listen. Listened to last week's podcast,
Speaker 1: of course, because why wouldn't you in last week's podcast?
Speaker 1: Can I hold? Can I start? So I was listening,
Speaker 1: so I'm like, oh my god, I missed the boys.
Speaker 1: So I was on my way back from Maine with
Speaker 1: my boyfriend in the car, five hour drive back, did
Speaker 1: a little you know, two hours stop at Target. So
Speaker 1: we and we we we were listening to the podcast
Speaker 1: and I was fast forwarding because I'm like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I can't wait to hear Alex. He's going to be
Speaker 1: hysterical on the podcast. And it starts right at the
Speaker 1: right at the point where he's like, yeah, well we
Speaker 1: did it for however long he had said, and the
Speaker 1: sucks was whatever the stable. I was like, and I
Speaker 1: look at my boyfriend and I'm like, he's like, you
Speaker 1: guys dated. I was like no, I'm like in my head,
Speaker 1: I was so confused, and like, does Alex actually think
Speaker 1: we dated? Like we didn't have sex, so he can't
Speaker 1: think that we actually dated. But I'm sure he's on
Speaker 1: listening to this conversation right now. So this episode you
Speaker 1: can't hear anything, just documented. But I still wanted to
Speaker 1: do a little bit more hold on, hold on. Yeah, So,
Speaker 1: as Vanessa stated last week's podcast, we talked about how
Speaker 1: Vanessa and Alex allegedly dated. Um, Alex, I you know
Speaker 1: him well, I know that he's being sarcastic. I think
Speaker 1: it's hilarious that your boyfriend was in the car though,
Speaker 1: because that's just as awkward timing. Anyways, Like I was
Speaker 1: gonna say for our listeners, listen to last week's episode
Speaker 1: before listening to this if you haven't already, and it
Speaker 1: will help ride some context. But we have Alex on
Speaker 1: the phone. He is I mean, I'm sure he's just
Speaker 1: gonna sit there with this tale between his legs and
Speaker 1: apologize humently. But um should as he should, he should
Speaker 1: absolute frutely. Um. So Mark, I'm gonna ge him on
Speaker 1: the phone. Hey, Alex, how's it going man? Good? How
Speaker 1: are you? Long time no talk? It's been a while
Speaker 1: since I did and send you some threatening text messages.
Speaker 1: They weren't at all, So I just wanted to I
Speaker 1: wanted to start off by saying I was and I
Speaker 1: just said this before I was laughing hysterically. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I know your sense of humor, and I can't even
Speaker 1: be mad at you because I'm like, I know Alex,
Speaker 1: but not everyone Like Jared was confused too, um, and
Speaker 1: so is my boyfriend in the car. He's like, what,
Speaker 1: you guys dated and I'm like, no, we didn't date,
Speaker 1: and I love you so much, like I find you
Speaker 1: hysterical and you're just like such a smart human being,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I don't want anyone. First of all,
Speaker 1: I was just like annoyed, because that's how rumors start, right. Well, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm surprised people actually bought it because they was such
Speaker 1: a hyperbally. I didn't think anyone even gonna, you know,
Speaker 1: give it any light. Obviously. You know we have a
Speaker 1: great report between you and I that I knew. I
Speaker 1: was I'll make this joke. I wasn't me thinking. I
Speaker 1: just wanted to say something outlandish because I was giving
Speaker 1: being a hard time in the moment, Like people bought
Speaker 1: it and it wasn't that taste espectually without you being there.
Speaker 1: So I do apologize. Obviously I meant no disrespect. But
Speaker 1: you know what the funniest part is, you're texting me
Speaker 1: back Intead. It's funny you stopped. The sex was good.
Speaker 1: That was what's so funny about this sex being good.
Speaker 1: I guess is the question like that jokes that was like, oh,
Speaker 1: sex was good, everything was terrible. And that's that's something
Speaker 1: I think to like, Oh, my guy friends like about
Speaker 1: like if oh we should just say I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: sex would be good, but everything would be terrible. Well, no,
Speaker 1: I get that, but why is the sex being good funny?
Speaker 1: Because I thought it was. The joke is if the
Speaker 1: sex is good, being funny means that your sex typically
Speaker 1: would be bad. Yeah, right, right, that's the point. Now,
Speaker 1: I was okay, I didn't take it like that. It's okay. Well,
Speaker 1: obviously I think most of the things with a lot
Speaker 1: of levity and starcasm. And you guys know me, but
Speaker 1: maybe your followers or your listeners aren't as uh you know,
Speaker 1: as knowledgeable of this. So I do apologize. I didn't
Speaker 1: meant to start any any drama. That's the most drama
Speaker 1: I think I have ever caused. I know, uh, Dean
Speaker 1: was loving this well, Alex, Dean loves the job. It's
Speaker 1: funny actually, Alex that you mentioned that because on the
Speaker 1: other line at this very moment, we have Caroline Leney
Speaker 1: who's going to be joining us. I love that. I
Speaker 1: just you know what, actually some kind of bad because
Speaker 1: I underplayed our our relationship a little bit. I felt almost,
Speaker 1: you know, because I mentioned something along the lines that
Speaker 1: I wasn't you know, I was a little more reticent
Speaker 1: when they came to sharing about my life. But I
Speaker 1: didn't mean to do like knock down on people that
Speaker 1: do share. It's just like a contrast statement toors like
Speaker 1: where I'm a little more is there some people are
Speaker 1: more comfortable with sharing their lives. I know you guys
Speaker 1: do obviously, And it came off a little uh negative,
Speaker 1: So I did. I didn't mean to say that either.
Speaker 1: I don't know when I've got that way. I really
Speaker 1: I like last week Alex a lot more. He was.
Speaker 1: He was very watching himself. Yeah, yeah, I have to
Speaker 1: have now because I came in. You know, I was
Speaker 1: waiting for you for an our dominoes. I've been ready. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you have to do every time now like you have
Speaker 1: to get me really dump a little bit before you
Speaker 1: invite me. Nothing is on accident, Alex. You think I
Speaker 1: left you on what. I didn't want to take anything
Speaker 1: back from Paradise. I meant the drama and I think
Speaker 1: I got a couple of games like wow, what a dick.
Speaker 1: I didn't. I didn't mean like I didn't need to
Speaker 1: take anyone home Paradise. It's like it doesn't follow you
Speaker 1: at the drama. So I loved it. I mean, I
Speaker 1: thought it was a great, great podcast. I actually listened
Speaker 1: twice to it after Oh my god, you love yourself? No, no, no,
Speaker 1: because I was like, I need to correct mistakes. Whoa, whoa,
Speaker 1: Sorry I started interrupting you correct your mistakes. I don't
Speaker 1: think would Vanessa dating for six months as a mistake.
Speaker 1: We're gonna start listening from this point on and thinking
Speaker 1: that Alex and I never dated. I absolutely adore you.
Speaker 1: When I found out you run Baschlard Paradise, Bashion Paradise
Speaker 1: Australia and Caroline was there, I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: you guys need to Like. I was like, I would
Speaker 1: so ship this relationship. And I even messaged her yesterday.
Speaker 1: I'm like, dude, we did not date. It's like, no,
Speaker 1: I know. I told him to apologize to you because
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm friends of Caroline. Also, I definitely thought
Speaker 1: I definitely heard about this, and I want to apologize
Speaker 1: to everyone except for Dean, and You're welcome. Thank you.
Speaker 1: Uh so, Yeah, I don't know. Do I want anyone else? Apology?
Speaker 1: Maybe Marking Easton would probably appreciate one charity. You know,
Speaker 1: really I didn't. I didn't acknowledge that, you know how
Speaker 1: good looking they both are. You know, I helped back,
Speaker 1: I help that you guys are. Yeah. Well, Alex, I
Speaker 1: mean thanks for thanks for being a good sport man
Speaker 1: and jumping on the phone and clear yeah, we love you.
Speaker 1: Anytime you want me to call, I'm going to clear
Speaker 1: it up here for you yet, think about Deacon next time, Alex,
Speaker 1: who's next on your radar? Do you think Bachelor former
Speaker 1: cast member? Are you going to set your sights on?
Speaker 1: Oh that's a good question. I'm gonna think gonna stay
Speaker 1: wait for the Bachelor nation for a little bit. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna try the normal life. Smart man, smart man, What
Speaker 1: about you? I think we all can take a page
Speaker 1: out of Alex's book and just stay the heck away. Well,
Speaker 1: I can tell you where Dean is going montego bababy.
Speaker 1: All right, Alex, thanks so much for joining us, man,
Speaker 1: We really appreciate it. Thanks for clearing the accept it.
Speaker 1: We'll see you soon, all right. Thanks for having so there.
Speaker 1: You have it. Oh my god. First of all, Alex
Speaker 1: is like one of our listeners. I don't know if
Speaker 1: you know that one episode we were talking about well,
Speaker 1: I started crying about wanting I think it was just
Speaker 1: Mark and I. Mark, remember that episode when we had
Speaker 1: a girl's talk and You're like, Fanessa, do you want kids?
Speaker 1: And I just started crying. You're like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: that I see something wrong. I'm like, no, it's because
Speaker 1: I've always wanted kids. Yeah. Actually I felt so bad
Speaker 1: at my snuff that you said is just something that
Speaker 1: I want so badly. He Alex ended up texting me
Speaker 1: that day and was like, I don't know if it's
Speaker 1: a good idea to get you to freeze your eggs,
Speaker 1: because apparently he like does a lot of research on things,
Speaker 1: so he's like my go to guy whenever I need
Speaker 1: advice on something specific because he has so he's a
Speaker 1: wealth of knowledge. One of my friend Alex, one of
Speaker 1: my friends, is turning thirty five next week, and she
Speaker 1: is single and has no children. And it's funny because
Speaker 1: we we were talking and she said how she has
Speaker 1: been encouraged to freeze her eggs and I obviously mentioned
Speaker 1: you and how um you know, my friend Vanessa was
Speaker 1: thinking about the same thing, and then she says, there
Speaker 1: is no no person that's been born of a frozen
Speaker 1: egg is over the age of seven or eight, or
Speaker 1: nine or ten or however old. Right, there's no seventy
Speaker 1: year old human being from a frozen egg. You have
Speaker 1: no idea the health risks that go into the idea
Speaker 1: of freezing your eggs in that human later on. And
Speaker 1: I had never thought about that. I didn't think about
Speaker 1: that either, And she she said that's one of her
Speaker 1: main turns for freezing her eggs. She wants it to
Speaker 1: happen naturally. Well, because then there's the reverse that can happen.
Speaker 1: To write, if your eggs are well, I don't know
Speaker 1: too much about it, so I don't know if I'm
Speaker 1: saying even makes sense. But if your eggs are a
Speaker 1: little bit more mature, then I think there's a risk
Speaker 1: after the age of thirty five, I'm not sure of
Speaker 1: the exact number. You have to do a test to
Speaker 1: see if there's any complications with um with the baby. Right, well,
Speaker 1: I don't post thirty five years old. As a woman.
Speaker 1: It's considered a geriatric pregnancy, which is in my opinion
Speaker 1: is kind of ridiculous, isn't it? And I'm thirty one, Dean,
Speaker 1: I'm thirty. I'm turning thirty two in a couple of months,
Speaker 1: I know. And you don't look a day over twenty four.
Speaker 1: I love you, but my eggs feel it real thirty two,
Speaker 1: My eggs real thirty two. I'm just saying I appreciated
Speaker 1: her approach on it, my friend that I was just
Speaker 1: talking about, because she just says like, whatever is will be,
Speaker 1: And I know you have that same same approach as well. Um,
Speaker 1: but how are things looking with you in the BF?
Speaker 1: Is there any progress made in so good? I as
Speaker 1: someone had just messaged me like, oh I see love
Speaker 1: and happiness? Do I see a wedding anytime soon? And
Speaker 1: I'm like, this is the first relationship that I'm actually
Speaker 1: taking it slow, And um, I think for me, I've
Speaker 1: been someone that loves remember like Amy being like slow down,
Speaker 1: Vanessa like you like you You're putting way too much
Speaker 1: energy and thought into a relationship and I'm like, because
Speaker 1: I want one so badly, And we ended up meeting
Speaker 1: out of the blue and it went really quick at
Speaker 1: the beginning. Um, and I feel like there's a lot
Speaker 1: that has happened between us from very early early on
Speaker 1: in our relationship that has made us grow a lot stronger,
Speaker 1: and it could have gone the complete other way. Um.
Speaker 1: And I feel like, so the old me was so
Speaker 1: into the bachelor, like quickly, like being into a relationship,
Speaker 1: like going full force in and like getting engaged, and
Speaker 1: like I was, I'm like, yeah, I would love that,
Speaker 1: you know, and I still believe in that in that process. Um,
Speaker 1: but as I'm getting old and my holy it takes
Speaker 1: a long time to really get to know a person.
Speaker 1: And I don't know about you, but do you like
Speaker 1: to know about people's past? Um? You know, I like
Speaker 1: to say that it wouldn't affect my, uh my view
Speaker 1: point on anyone, but I think it kind of does,
Speaker 1: regardless of whether we want to believe it or not. Yeah, Well, like,
Speaker 1: how much do you want to know about someone's past?
Speaker 1: This is a good topic because I love being I mean,
Speaker 1: I would love to know every minor detail you do,
Speaker 1: as honestly and fully described as possible. Yeah, I think
Speaker 1: so would you not? Yeah, but I feel like most
Speaker 1: girls are like that. Most men don't really want to know. Um,
Speaker 1: Like you're saying, like a mom is the word sort
Speaker 1: of thing. I mean, I have run into some issues
Speaker 1: in the past where I've learned some things of like
Speaker 1: former uh interests that I didn't like, and then I
Speaker 1: was like getting down on myself or even letting that
Speaker 1: affect my opinion of that person, you know, or those people,
Speaker 1: um and so like it's easier to not know things,
Speaker 1: I think, but at the end of the day, like,
Speaker 1: if you're really fully, truly going to love someone, you
Speaker 1: should know everything about them. I absolutely agree. I think
Speaker 1: it's um a cash twenty two though, because I believe
Speaker 1: that you I want to know everything there is to
Speaker 1: know about the person. But at the same time, sometimes
Speaker 1: it's hard not to judge or to get jealous about,
Speaker 1: you know, a person's past or um. Yeah. So I've
Speaker 1: started to really enjoy it because like I have a
Speaker 1: kind of dodgy pass like um from like shoplifting to
Speaker 1: like doing drugs to getting arrested to like all these
Speaker 1: things that I've done in my life, and I've used
Speaker 1: to like kind of like shy away from sharing those things.
Speaker 1: But now I'm just like that's a lot of what
Speaker 1: makes me who I am today, and I own that
Speaker 1: in my I don't know I just think it's kind
Speaker 1: of fun, you know, it's Yeah, I think I think
Speaker 1: if you don't have anything that uh like crazy or
Speaker 1: not even crazy, just like if you don't have a history,
Speaker 1: then for me that's scarier because that means is a
Speaker 1: lot that you still need to learn and do and
Speaker 1: explore and go through. Um. So a good thing that
Speaker 1: you did all the shoplifting when you were younger. Yeah, um,
Speaker 1: well so you kind of dodged a question about you
Speaker 1: and Josh a little bit. Oh okay, Um no, I
Speaker 1: mean it's going great. He's I've never been in a
Speaker 1: relationship that is just healthy, you know, like healthy in
Speaker 1: the sense that I know, I can be someone that
Speaker 1: could be a lot to deal with, in the sense
Speaker 1: that I you know, I like spending time with the
Speaker 1: firston i'm dating. Um Um, I like for them to
Speaker 1: spend time with my family, and it's very we have
Speaker 1: very similar interests when it comes to that. Yeah, there's
Speaker 1: I mean, there's there's desolutely nothing wrong with that. I
Speaker 1: don't think I think it's great. No, yeah, but I
Speaker 1: think for some people, like I dated this one guy
Speaker 1: who couldn't handle it. You're engaged to him? No, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: this other guy. Um, well, I guess what I wanted
Speaker 1: you to maybe speak more clearly on was have you
Speaker 1: and Josh talked about children at all? Because I know, like,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, it is a very important thing to you,
Speaker 1: and so is what is the result of that conversation
Speaker 1: you typically have with him about that he wants kids?
Speaker 1: And that made me so happy. He wants kids. And
Speaker 1: apparently his sister was telling me like, this is the
Speaker 1: first time I hear Josh ever say that he can't
Speaker 1: wait to start a family. You guys would have something
Speaker 1: freaking good looking children, deany would you babysit? I'll be
Speaker 1: like the fun uncle. Yet gladly an hour doesn't take
Speaker 1: another park to like kid on girls or something like that.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that'd be hilarious. Yeah, when they're thirty,
Speaker 1: that'd be fine. Um, he's no. So he's like really
Speaker 1: family oriented and wants kids, and I think it's important.
Speaker 1: Like he's Jewish. I'm Catholic, but I'm not religious, Like
Speaker 1: I'm not super religious. He's not super religious either. And
Speaker 1: what I love about his family is they love learning
Speaker 1: about different cultures and different religions around the world, and
Speaker 1: they're so inclusive to all of that, and I think
Speaker 1: it's important to have to bring a child into this
Speaker 1: world that um is open to all this wealth of
Speaker 1: knowledge that exists around us, you know. Anyway, So yeah,
Speaker 1: very happy, but taking things slow and any talk of
Speaker 1: an engagement coming up anytime soon. Dude. He the thing.
Speaker 1: It's like t M I but he wanted to when
Speaker 1: we first met. He was like, oh my god, he
Speaker 1: told me after and I'm like, thank god, you didn't
Speaker 1: do this. You wanted to propose to me, like months
Speaker 1: into our relationship, and like, we're not on the Bachelor,
Speaker 1: Like you don't need to get down on one kneed
Speaker 1: as quickly. Um. But we just have so much love
Speaker 1: and respect for each other, and like I said, we've
Speaker 1: gone through quite a bit UM in our relationship that
Speaker 1: made this bond so incredibly strong. UM. And he's someone
Speaker 1: who loves talking about his feelings, which is rare. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's great to hear. It's great to hear that he
Speaker 1: was even open about that thought that he had. And
Speaker 1: you guys obviously are still doing really well to this day.
Speaker 1: I think I agree with everything you're saying. It sounds
Speaker 1: like everything's trending in the right direction. Um. And I'm
Speaker 1: super super happy for v Dany what about you. We're
Speaker 1: not gonna talk about me. We're actually gonna get your good,
Speaker 1: good friend Taylor no One on the phone. But before
Speaker 1: we do that, we are going to take a quick break.
Speaker 1: So that's enough about my love life. But another huge
Speaker 1: um part of my love life is my friendship with
Speaker 1: the one and only Taylor Nolan, who was on Nick
Speaker 1: season at the Bachelor. Tay, are you on the phone? Hey? Hey,
Speaker 1: hi love, how are you aga? We're just talking about,
Speaker 1: you know, my relationship and how Dean is still single,
Speaker 1: how I'm sabotaging the relationship with my friend Alex talking
Speaker 1: about your former love. Oh yeah yeah yeah we he
Speaker 1: Alex call and apologize. But I wanted to talk to you.
Speaker 1: I mean I talked to you literally nine times a day,
Speaker 1: and um, we go to states together. Yeah, we are always, always,
Speaker 1: always attached to the hip. But I wanted to talk
Speaker 1: about your relationship because I get a lot of questions
Speaker 1: about people who are pursuing long distance relationships, whether that
Speaker 1: at because they're now, you know, leaving high school and
Speaker 1: going to different universities. So how do you well talk
Speaker 1: to us a little bit about how you met your
Speaker 1: now boyfriend. He's Canadian. Yeah, how did you meet him?
Speaker 1: And and how are you making the long dy work
Speaker 1: the long day the long day? Um? Yeah, we met
Speaker 1: at a conference. Um. And long distance is not my favorite,
Speaker 1: Like I don't and there's pros and cons to it
Speaker 1: for sure, but I would definitely prefer to not be
Speaker 1: long distance. Um. And I think it's really different when
Speaker 1: like you start your relationship in the same place and
Speaker 1: then have a period of being long distance, as opposed
Speaker 1: to like starting a relationship long distance, which is what
Speaker 1: I've done. Um. I did have one relationship where we
Speaker 1: were together and then did long distance. Um. But it's
Speaker 1: definitely not easy to do. So do you have anything
Speaker 1: that you like? I know some people say, oh, well,
Speaker 1: you know, we started this Netflix show and we only
Speaker 1: watch it at the same time together while we're like
Speaker 1: in different Yeah. So do you do stuff like that
Speaker 1: to create a stronger bond? I mean I know that
Speaker 1: you guys don't. Well, yeah, you're asking the question, you
Speaker 1: are do I just got to give people what they
Speaker 1: need to hear. Yeah. Um no, So one thing I
Speaker 1: recommend doing is doing FaceTime dinners together. Um. So, one
Speaker 1: thing that I've actually asked him for during this separation
Speaker 1: period that we have now. Um, one of the things
Speaker 1: I requested one of my needs was that I would
Speaker 1: love for us to do FaceTime dinners, UM, something I've
Speaker 1: done in the past where you guys either like make
Speaker 1: the same thing or just are eating different things, but
Speaker 1: like you sit down and you have a FaceTime where
Speaker 1: you're eating together and like it kind of feels like
Speaker 1: a little bit of a date night in a way. UM.
Speaker 1: And an another big thing that I love doing that
Speaker 1: I totally recommend to people is sexy face time. UM, longest,
Speaker 1: real hard when it comes to you know, your text
Speaker 1: so being are you making a face at me? Yeah?
Speaker 1: The sexy face times are the best. So tell us
Speaker 1: what goes into a sexy FaceTime? Okay, Well, a sexy
Speaker 1: face time can be many different things. Um. One of
Speaker 1: the things that I enjoy with sexy face times are
Speaker 1: like engaging in some dirty talk, discussing like role plays
Speaker 1: or fantasy type things. UM, some mutual masturbation if you're
Speaker 1: comfortable with that, um, but really just being able to
Speaker 1: explore each other sexually. You know. Let me ask you this.
Speaker 1: Let me ask you this, because I struggle with a
Speaker 1: few of these things that you're outlining A I don't
Speaker 1: specifically basically all of them. And so actually I just
Speaker 1: want to get a better understanding of if it's if
Speaker 1: there's anything I struggle with dirty talk in the moment,
Speaker 1: like when things are getting hot and heavy, I just
Speaker 1: don't do dirty talk. I struggle even to you're just
Speaker 1: like smiling your face like me be me with like
Speaker 1: this massive smile. It's not it's not the most uh.
Speaker 1: I don't know what what's called it, but okay, So so
Speaker 1: so I go with dirty talk. I struggle with um,
Speaker 1: face timing consistently, like I don't like to really jump
Speaker 1: on the phone very often. And then I also struggle
Speaker 1: with uh, sexual images, so like I don't send or
Speaker 1: I've never really asked for like sexy pictures from a
Speaker 1: significant other. So that's like the triple wall amy do
Speaker 1: you want occasionally? So one thing I would say in
Speaker 1: terms of like the dirty stock, UM, I know that
Speaker 1: can be really hard to like get out of your
Speaker 1: head kind of you can kind of feel a little
Speaker 1: bit silly starting that. Um. So one way to kind
Speaker 1: of like ease your way into doing that dirty talk
Speaker 1: is through sex beams. Um, there's you can kind of
Speaker 1: like role play out just like what I would want
Speaker 1: to do to you, and like creating that kind of
Speaker 1: image in your head or even referring back in your
Speaker 1: head to um, like the last time that you were
Speaker 1: intimate with that person and kind of just describing that
Speaker 1: out via text that can kind of get you more
Speaker 1: in the mood. And practice doing that where then you
Speaker 1: are in the moment um you might be able to
Speaker 1: lean into dirty talk more. Um. One thing that sex
Speaker 1: researchers definitely recommends in terms of having better sex is
Speaker 1: being more vocal during those acts. So even if you're
Speaker 1: not necessarily dirty talking, like do you struggle with even
Speaker 1: just expressing like moaning and whatnot when you're engagement? Sex
Speaker 1: does get a real personal beings. I feel like sometimes
Speaker 1: I have to I have to consciously tell myself to
Speaker 1: make noises during sex sometimes, like hey, just make sure
Speaker 1: you're like, just give her like a grunt so you know,
Speaker 1: like you're enjoying it, you know what I mean? Like
Speaker 1: because if if I if I had it my way,
Speaker 1: I don't know, but I would assume that I would
Speaker 1: be perfectly silent the entire time. I actually read something
Speaker 1: that most men don't like making noises when during intercourse. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: And I think a lot of that comes with being vulnerable,
Speaker 1: because to express yourself that way during some kind of
Speaker 1: intimate moments take a lot of vulnerability. And seeing you
Speaker 1: and I have talked and you talk a lot on
Speaker 1: here about some of the walls that we might have up, um,
Speaker 1: and if we've got some walls up um, just kind
Speaker 1: of in the relationship emotionally in general, then that can
Speaker 1: definitely translate into your intimate moment. I wonder too, how
Speaker 1: every time the word masturbation gets set on this podcast
Speaker 1: that we all get kind of like weird looks from
Speaker 1: the producers because I don't know if we're a lot
Speaker 1: to say it, but favorite topic, I will not be
Speaker 1: believing that just het, Yes, we're we went from g
Speaker 1: PG today. Um. There's a couple of interesting things about
Speaker 1: masturbation in men, especially where I think we've talked about
Speaker 1: it before, about how um, men think they need to
Speaker 1: get through sex as quick as possible because they're like
Speaker 1: trained from a young age or conditioned to think like
Speaker 1: they need to masturbate, get it over with before you
Speaker 1: and catches them and then like kind of hide it. Um.
Speaker 1: And then also I was gonna say, I've I've always
Speaker 1: been I've obviously been masturbating for longer than I've been
Speaker 1: sexually active. Thank you very much for the round of
Speaker 1: applause and um. And I think as a child, as
Speaker 1: you begin doing that, like again, you're like you're being
Speaker 1: quiet the whole time because like you're kind of hiding
Speaker 1: it from your parents and stuff like that. And so
Speaker 1: then I think that then translates to your sexual life
Speaker 1: as an adult when you're active. I don't know, it's
Speaker 1: just a thought. Yeah. No, I think that's a really
Speaker 1: good point because yeah, when you are, I guess maybe
Speaker 1: more so for men. I mean, when I masturbate, I
Speaker 1: make noise. Um, but I think kind of I do.
Speaker 1: I want to recording spaces entire segment. Sorry, um no,
Speaker 1: this is let's see. I love how open Taylor. So
Speaker 1: Taylor has her own podcast, Um, let's talk about it.
Speaker 1: And you're a mental health counselor, so this is all
Speaker 1: that's why you're so knowledgeable and all this stuff because
Speaker 1: you're so I mean, you study this stuff, so you're
Speaker 1: it's becomes so natural and natural for you, uh to
Speaker 1: talk about all of this. And that's why I love
Speaker 1: just you know, Taylor knows my entire life and my
Speaker 1: entire life with my now boyfriend. Yeah. Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: I think there uncomfortable topics we will talk about, especially
Speaker 1: like sexually. The sexual stuff is definitely uncomfortable, UM, But
Speaker 1: for me those are always like the most exciting topics
Speaker 1: to talk about. This recent episode the podcast this week
Speaker 1: was with a sex researcher UM who I had spended
Speaker 1: his workshop and he's done like the largest study on
Speaker 1: sexual fantasies in America UM and learned a lot of
Speaker 1: great stuff from that. UM. But also just want to
Speaker 1: get to like the masturbation point, like being I agree
Speaker 1: with you. I think that's a really valid possible explanation
Speaker 1: for why maybe men's struggle with being vocal um during X.
Speaker 1: But I also think in terms of like the masturbation
Speaker 1: piece that you know, women are kind of uh brought
Speaker 1: up to think that if you are a girl that masturbates,
Speaker 1: that you know that you're just lonely and you can't
Speaker 1: get a man, or that you do masturbate your like
Speaker 1: it's total slut um, And I think it's hard to
Speaker 1: find that like in between and especially um, you know,
Speaker 1: porn mainstream corn is very much bit towards men and
Speaker 1: it's really teaching, um, you know, some not so realistic
Speaker 1: ways of actually having sex. So there's adult filmmaker who
Speaker 1: I really like called air holesque um, who I highly
Speaker 1: re comend. People. UM, it's more kind of like indie
Speaker 1: porn and feminist porn, and sometimes like the feminist porn
Speaker 1: can be like really out there where it's like that's
Speaker 1: actually not what I'm looking for. UM. But Tumbler feel
Speaker 1: like a great place for people to like I had
Speaker 1: a great community, very very sex positive um where it
Speaker 1: was like real people and um even in terms of
Speaker 1: like the text theme piece theme where like you've never
Speaker 1: sent pictures, you've never asked the pictures. Um. One thing
Speaker 1: that my current partner introduced me to that Like I
Speaker 1: remember I was with Vanessa when it first happened, and
Speaker 1: I was like, what is this, Like this is so weird. UM.
Speaker 1: But instead of like the photos of like yourself, you
Speaker 1: like can literally send like gifts um and like different. Uh.
Speaker 1: At least it was on Tumbler, and now there's like
Speaker 1: new different sites coming up where you can kind of
Speaker 1: find this content um where you can just literally like
Speaker 1: play out a role play the effect and like use
Speaker 1: gifts to kind of like go through and explain it
Speaker 1: from each other. That's like really actually exciting and really hot.
Speaker 1: I'll be honest with you, that doesn't sound very appealing
Speaker 1: to me. It doesn't sound like it'll get it would
Speaker 1: get me like you know aroused. Yeah, yeah, yeah, some
Speaker 1: gifts and then you can tell me. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I think I think I would get a little. I mean,
Speaker 1: are the gifts of other women or men? No, it
Speaker 1: just depends. I mean there's literally gifts of like all
Speaker 1: kinds of things. Yeah, there's there's like videos and stuff too.
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's like literally like their faces aren't even in it.
Speaker 1: Sometimes just like really arty farcy and is like black
Speaker 1: and white and like really cute. Um. I mean there's
Speaker 1: there's literally something for everyone out there. It's just a
Speaker 1: matter of kind of finding it. And of course, at
Speaker 1: first it might feel a little weird and it might
Speaker 1: seem like I don't know if I'm into this or not.
Speaker 1: But you won't know untilly try it. And I think
Speaker 1: it's important to have an open mind because you never
Speaker 1: know what will burn you on. I didn't think that
Speaker 1: the gifts would or that the sex being like that would,
Speaker 1: but it's like one of my favorite things now. I
Speaker 1: think it's important to also know and feel like you're
Speaker 1: in a very safe relationship because there's been relationships that
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't feel like I want to sexually
Speaker 1: explore with this person because I don't feel comfortable and safe. Um.
Speaker 1: And the safety aspect is also like am I going
Speaker 1: to be judged? And I, you know, like, how is
Speaker 1: this person going to react if I try something out
Speaker 1: that I'm not going to be really good at the
Speaker 1: first time around or or um or whatever. So the
Speaker 1: safety aspect of it is definitely a big one. Mm
Speaker 1: hmm totally. That just blows unto trust I feel like
Speaker 1: too obviously. Yeah. Yeah, and just that they're not going
Speaker 1: to go around and say it about you, you know,
Speaker 1: which I think is something that you should just obviously
Speaker 1: I think Taylor has spoken to this in the past
Speaker 1: as well as just take your time to do those
Speaker 1: types of things right, Like obviously, until you fully give
Speaker 1: yourself to someone, you should have trust for them. So yeah,
Speaker 1: And I think also like in terms of the fear
Speaker 1: of like what other people think, I mean, sometimes you
Speaker 1: just really have to like I don't know if I
Speaker 1: can spur in here, but that and like stick by
Speaker 1: what you believe in and what you enjoy and UM
Speaker 1: really kind of like owning that in a way. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I think having a partner that you trust and that
Speaker 1: you feel safe with is like the most important piece
Speaker 1: of all of this, especially with doing long distance UM.
Speaker 1: Making sure that your guys, boundaries are very clear in
Speaker 1: terms of what kind of a relationship you're in, if
Speaker 1: you're in a monogonous relationship, if you're in a consensual
Speaker 1: non monogonous relationship, if you're you know, it's gonna be polly,
Speaker 1: if you're gonna be open, Like if dynamics change at
Speaker 1: all when you do become long distance UM, because they
Speaker 1: can bring up a lot of insecurities and a lot
Speaker 1: of trust issues and a lot of jealousy that I
Speaker 1: think people can struggle with when they're not seeing their
Speaker 1: partner on that consistent basis. Yeah, that makes sense. Let
Speaker 1: me ask you this, how much of a relationship should
Speaker 1: be sex centric? I don't know how this became a
Speaker 1: sex topic for like a sex podcast today, but I
Speaker 1: guess the Yeah, I guess, And the reason I'm asking
Speaker 1: is because how much of an emphasis should you put
Speaker 1: on sex in your relationship long distance or um, not
Speaker 1: like how not like how often should you be having it?
Speaker 1: But how much of a of a of an impact
Speaker 1: shuld I have on your relationship? I guess it's my
Speaker 1: question how much of an effects or how much of
Speaker 1: an emphasis, uh emphasis because the fact that I mean
Speaker 1: obviously yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I think it really
Speaker 1: depends on the couple. Um. If someone in the relationship
Speaker 1: has a really high sex drive and the other person
Speaker 1: has a lower sex drive, than there could be potential
Speaker 1: difficulties there that they would really need to like hash out. Um.
Speaker 1: If both people on the couple have a low sex drive,
Speaker 1: then that might work for them. Um. If both people
Speaker 1: have a high sex drive, then there's definitely gonna more
Speaker 1: of an emphasis there. Um. But I think I think
Speaker 1: you can certainly have a very fulfilling relationship with out
Speaker 1: at a high emphasis on sex. Um. You know, when
Speaker 1: you do look at long term monogamous relationships, um, passion
Speaker 1: does go down within the first like two years or start.
Speaker 1: It starts to go down after the first two years. UM.
Speaker 1: So it's not like in most of long term relationships
Speaker 1: there's a huge emphasis on sex anyway UM where it
Speaker 1: kind of becomes offensive a partnership. UM. But I think again,
Speaker 1: to maintain your own sexual satisfaction, which we all have
Speaker 1: some layer of UM that it is important to kind
Speaker 1: of spice it up how where you can and um,
Speaker 1: not necessarily having more sex, but just having better quality sex. UM.
Speaker 1: Studies of filing that UM when couples actually were like
Speaker 1: encouraged or attempted to increase them on times that they
Speaker 1: have sex, but they actually felt less happy and reported
Speaker 1: lower rates of satisfact than and felt like it was
Speaker 1: something that they had to do, which is something I
Speaker 1: think a lot of people struggle with. Whereas when couple
Speaker 1: of kind of maintained about the average was having sex
Speaker 1: once a week, was when people reported that higher level
Speaker 1: of satisfaction. And that's any kind of sex act, whether
Speaker 1: it's oral or masturvation type UM or like actual intercourse. UM.
Speaker 1: So I think it's it's really having an emphasis on
Speaker 1: like the quality of effect that you're having and making
Speaker 1: sure that both people feel satisfied with that. We also
Speaker 1: had I think a sex expert that came on our
Speaker 1: podcast a few episodes ago, and he was asking us,
Speaker 1: how often do you think how many times we do
Speaker 1: you think you should be intimate with your partner? And
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't know, like three times, He's
Speaker 1: like every day. And intimacy does not mean having sexual intercourse.
Speaker 1: It could be sitting on your partner's lap, giving them
Speaker 1: a kiss on the cheek, hugging them for ten seconds
Speaker 1: and that builds a stronger bond between both of you. Um,
Speaker 1: And it doesn't the emphasis on just a sexual aspect
Speaker 1: of it doesn't take that much of a priority if
Speaker 1: you're being physically intimate with that person that you're dating. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so everything that you do in your relationship is for flight. Um.
Speaker 1: The Gottmans, who are like world around couple of researchers
Speaker 1: UM estimated they're found in their in their research that
Speaker 1: it was the six second kiss was um ideal for
Speaker 1: the couples that really kind of succeeded, who they called
Speaker 1: Masters of Relationships to reported the high marital satisfaction of
Speaker 1: having a six second kiss per day. Um. So after
Speaker 1: this podcast, yeah, because I mean you think about it.
Speaker 1: Some days. You go days you know where your partner
Speaker 1: need just have a peck or you know, you hold
Speaker 1: hands or something. But there isn't that like intimacy there
Speaker 1: of you know, that really kind of kiss that feels
Speaker 1: like meaningful and that you actually feel connection afterwards. UM.
Speaker 1: So I always joking my partners since for a long
Speaker 1: distance that you know, we're missing out on all our
Speaker 1: kick second kisses. So when we do see each other,
Speaker 1: we need to have like a thousand kisses. You and
Speaker 1: I I'm getting in plationship with each other, Vanessa. I mean,
Speaker 1: we do have a long distance relationship, but I can't
Speaker 1: wait to see you, Tay. Thank you so much for
Speaker 1: your wealth of knowledge. Um, and for we didn't think
Speaker 1: this conversation was going to turn into a sext topic,
Speaker 1: but Dean's very happy. Um. Yeah. So you can listen
Speaker 1: to all of tas podcasts um called Let's Talk About
Speaker 1: It with Taylor Nolan and you can follow her on
Speaker 1: her Instagram page. Ka Mocha t a y yeah mocha.
Speaker 1: And thanks to we We appreciate you calling in. We
Speaker 1: appreciate talking about everything that you talked about, and we'll
Speaker 1: talk to you soon. Yeah, Dean, if you ever want
Speaker 1: to talk more, let me know. I'll send you some
Speaker 1: gifts thanks to see you later. Okay, we actually have
Speaker 1: one more guests that I want us to get more.
Speaker 1: But before we do that, we're gonna take a quick break, okay,
Speaker 1: and we are back and up next on the phone.
Speaker 1: We had we had to do it, we weren't going
Speaker 1: to do it, and I kind of jokingly teased the
Speaker 1: idea of having Alex's former flame because you already have
Speaker 1: one as a co host in Vanessa. But Caroline Money,
Speaker 1: who was also on Bachelor in Paradise, Australia, She and
Speaker 1: alex Um seemed to couple up basically almost instantaneously as
Speaker 1: soon as they got there. But Caroline, are you there? Hi? Hi?
Speaker 1: How are you hi? Love? Hi? How's it going. It's
Speaker 1: so great to have you on the on the air here?
Speaker 1: Oh nice? Kind of like I know, it's it's a
Speaker 1: pleasures on mine. I was just talking to Vanessa. She
Speaker 1: says that you guys are internet friends. We've been trying
Speaker 1: so hard to get together whenever I'm in Florida or
Speaker 1: Miami and or so we were somewhere else to at
Speaker 1: one point at the same time, and we didn't ever
Speaker 1: meet up. And it makes me so sad. But I
Speaker 1: should be in Florida, so I haven't made it up
Speaker 1: there yet. But finally I know it's finally it feels
Speaker 1: like summer today. But you can never trust the mother
Speaker 1: out here. But I'll come and visit you one Caroline.
Speaker 1: You live in Florida, right, so especially from Florida to
Speaker 1: Canada is a big climate change climate anywhere to Montreal
Speaker 1: climated on the summer beautiful. Yeah, well Caroline, okay, So
Speaker 1: obviously as you will or will aware, Um, Alex was
Speaker 1: on our podcast last week. I don't guess. I don't
Speaker 1: know if you're well aware of that, but no idea,
Speaker 1: but started Alex and I are really good friends, um,
Speaker 1: and we just wanted to get you on the phone.
Speaker 1: We obviously would love to hear about your experience with
Speaker 1: Bachelor in Paradise, Australia, UM, and and just kind of
Speaker 1: how all of that went. And you know, you know Alex,
Speaker 1: he's like a very desensitized kind of calic calloust like
Speaker 1: logical individual like on emotional, unempathetic, and I can what's
Speaker 1: funny is I can empathize with his lack of empathy,
Speaker 1: if that makes any sense. And maybe that's why we
Speaker 1: get along so well as because we kind of you know,
Speaker 1: are difficult in that same way. UM. So just do
Speaker 1: you mind explaining to the listeners your side of the
Speaker 1: whole Bachelor in Paradise, Australia thing, because from what I saw,
Speaker 1: it seemed like you guys like like you guys got
Speaker 1: along really well, right, No, I actually hated hiving let Hers.
Speaker 1: Why well, I mean he comes up like I just
Speaker 1: walked in and um we sat down and he's like,
Speaker 1: don't trust the producers and I'm like okay, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: so like tell me, like that's the person of him
Speaker 1: that I had met in person. And then it was
Speaker 1: just very like he's very cynical. And I was like,
Speaker 1: all right, well that's no, and I, um, I you know,
Speaker 1: went on. Did you say Alex the cynical No, Alex
Speaker 1: never Yeah, I don't know how likes to be cynical
Speaker 1: as far as I think being on a television show.
Speaker 1: He sells him the other way for it, like it's
Speaker 1: funny because in I'm honestly not really sure why I
Speaker 1: had any interesting going on a television show like the
Speaker 1: Last Players, because he is quite cynical about it that
Speaker 1: she likes to say the social experiments, which his research.
Speaker 1: He's always conducting social experiments, so um, yeah, he's not
Speaker 1: taking his turnd Ritchie on the date. Um. But the
Speaker 1: thing weird about Charity in Australia if you ask him
Speaker 1: on a date, if they say no, they have to
Speaker 1: go home. So I was kind of I was kind
Speaker 1: of led into asking Richie. They were like, why don't
Speaker 1: you ask Ritchie on the date? And I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: sure or whatever. Of course Richie's got like something serious
Speaker 1: going on or a serious I guess, or like to
Speaker 1: be in it come ang time ten when you're there,
Speaker 1: but um, and yeah, so like I knew that my
Speaker 1: date was Richie wasn't going anywhere. And then it's funny
Speaker 1: because Alex thinks he came in like staves the day
Speaker 1: and like pulled me off of Ritchie and I was
Speaker 1: just like, well, I knew the whole time that this
Speaker 1: wasn't going anywhere. Actually told me, you know what, but
Speaker 1: you don't see that meta day And then why did
Speaker 1: he tell you didn't cast? The last part? What did
Speaker 1: he say? All right, there's so much here and trying
Speaker 1: to figure out where to kind an out of these stories.
Speaker 1: But so when I asked to see on a date,
Speaker 1: Richie had said I'm actually seeing this girl cast, so
Speaker 1: he essentially said no to me taking him on a date.
Speaker 1: So and then producers like, you can't say no, you
Speaker 1: have to go, And I'm like, well, this makes me
Speaker 1: go great. I loved them so wanted here. Um, but
Speaker 1: we went, and I knew it was just strictly like
Speaker 1: a friend thing, and I just was happy to go
Speaker 1: on a date that you know, was like a good date.
Speaker 1: I feel like I hadn't had a good date and
Speaker 1: bachelor my experience with a bachelor, So even though I
Speaker 1: knew it wasn't going anywhere, I'm still really fun. And
Speaker 1: then I came home and you know, casting Richie got
Speaker 1: back together and I started talking to Alex. So it's
Speaker 1: leader a quote unquote relationship flourished outside of the show.
Speaker 1: Well started on the show. You know, this was on
Speaker 1: the show. So it happened, um like when I got
Speaker 1: home to like Paradise Resort or whatever, back to the Bay,
Speaker 1: and that's when it started to blossom and take off
Speaker 1: and um and then you guys, let's I guess. So
Speaker 1: so I was wrong in the beginning too, because then
Speaker 1: it wasn't instantaneous. It was a slow burn. But then
Speaker 1: once it started burning, the thing the thing was just
Speaker 1: like I just didn't think. I honestly didn't know what
Speaker 1: I thought. Um, But the thing is really cool about
Speaker 1: Australia is that they take your mic backs at the
Speaker 1: certain point in the night, you know, because like in
Speaker 1: the US, it's like unless you're um in the shower
Speaker 1: or sleeve your your mice. And so it's cool because
Speaker 1: in Australia you have all this time at night to
Speaker 1: have completely, you know, three conversations without a camera in
Speaker 1: your face and without a mic pass on. And so
Speaker 1: that's where Else and I really got to know each
Speaker 1: other because I feel like that's when he's more comfortable
Speaker 1: when he knows be talking right well, especially as as
Speaker 1: two Americans on an Australian TV show. I talked to
Speaker 1: him him a little bit about this last week. Is
Speaker 1: I feel like they didn't make it a point to
Speaker 1: make your guys love story as much a part of
Speaker 1: the storyline as their Australian contestants, because just because the
Speaker 1: Australian audience didn't recognize you guys quite as much, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I get it, they're not as invested in
Speaker 1: us as they would be someone else that they know.
Speaker 1: But I don't think Alex and I our relationship was
Speaker 1: that it took a while, like it really was a
Speaker 1: slow burn, Like we got a great edit where it happy.
Speaker 1: It seemed like it was all lovely debbes the whole time.
Speaker 1: But it took a minute, just because I think I
Speaker 1: was a little hesitant, just because I did come all
Speaker 1: the way to you know, in cig to meet someone
Speaker 1: who actually lived. Yeah, he owns a house in Port Laderdale,
Speaker 1: right next to years. It's just us. No, I think
Speaker 1: I think he might mean Florida. Now you're probably say,
Speaker 1: in the same room as him right now, aren't you
Speaker 1: house lost it on the way, So okay, And then
Speaker 1: so what happened after Paradise because I keep saying this,
Speaker 1: but like, like you know, Alex is a man of
Speaker 1: very few words, especially when it pertains to his emotions
Speaker 1: and his relationships. Obviously I'm not and I love that
Speaker 1: about you, Caroline. Yeah, but that's the is so thank you, Finessa.
Speaker 1: I appreciated that. But there was like a huge thing
Speaker 1: with Alex and I just because I am who I
Speaker 1: am and I don't hold back and whatever, like and
Speaker 1: if I if I love something, I let it know.
Speaker 1: If I hate something, like I'm and I wear my
Speaker 1: heart on my sleeves. It is good, bad or ugly. Um,
Speaker 1: but yeah, so I don't even know what's the question is.
Speaker 1: There's so much here. There's so much. We'll get into it.
Speaker 1: We got time. What's the question again, like what happened?
Speaker 1: What happened after Paradise because you guys left separately, but
Speaker 1: like on good terms or maybe go walk us through
Speaker 1: the departure. And then because I know, like he he
Speaker 1: mentioned last week that he was out in Florida to
Speaker 1: visit you a couple of times as well. M yeah,
Speaker 1: so we it was weird because, like I said, it
Speaker 1: was a slow burn. And then when we left Paradise,
Speaker 1: we decided to leave Paradise together, and but it was
Speaker 1: weird because like you you're leaving Paradise together, but then
Speaker 1: you're like when the cameras are off to came to
Speaker 1: my hotel room and I was like, do you actually
Speaker 1: like me? Or like are you just like handling it
Speaker 1: up for TV? And we like have this moment we
Speaker 1: like looked at each other really weird and we were like, okay,
Speaker 1: like I do kind of like you, like, let's just
Speaker 1: keep this going to see what happens. And then I
Speaker 1: think he came to seeing me like the next weekend
Speaker 1: in Florida, and um, you know, we had a good time.
Speaker 1: Came here and then he came to Boston and um,
Speaker 1: like met my family and just like a kid in
Speaker 1: my mottle hers whatever for my birthday for New Years,
Speaker 1: and then um, shortly there after we realized like he
Speaker 1: wasn't really the only anywhere and it was great because
Speaker 1: I've been having really really bad anxiety. It's suffering with it,
Speaker 1: um like all the time, and he finally, yeah, I
Speaker 1: know it's brutal, Like I couldn't figure out like what
Speaker 1: you know would really causing anything. And then it was
Speaker 1: weird because Alex sent me like I don't really know
Speaker 1: if I see it turning into relationships, and I like
Speaker 1: had this immediate weight ut off my chest and I
Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, like me neither, like he
Speaker 1: you know, he's very out me. It doesn't so like
Speaker 1: rushing and cold. He's ready lunched me. He's just like
Speaker 1: I don't don't tuning in to relationship and I'm like out, dude.
Speaker 1: And then I was like, oh you know what, like
Speaker 1: me neither, and like that's okay, and um, we stay friends,
Speaker 1: like we still like talk to each other like every
Speaker 1: other day or whatever. I don't know. He just Alex
Speaker 1: would just call me on his board on his day
Speaker 1: kind of drives home for work, like like leaving the
Speaker 1: office and going exosted every day like four or forty seven.
Speaker 1: He just call me like from the cu right on time.
Speaker 1: Like but um, you know, we were like super super friendly.
Speaker 1: But I think when the show started to happen, I
Speaker 1: got upset with him just because he needs some comments
Speaker 1: that really like didn't sit well with me, and it
Speaker 1: just it kind of tainted me in a bad light,
Speaker 1: like it made it seem like I'm just this crazy
Speaker 1: overshare stage five plinger and I was like, study like
Speaker 1: that's not how it all is, Like it just he
Speaker 1: made me feel stupid and he's like, you know, like
Speaker 1: our relationship is real, and you know, like how like
Speaker 1: that was because like don't trust all that stuff, like
Speaker 1: I don't care what anybody else thinks in this. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you make me seem like an idiot. And then I
Speaker 1: listened to the podcast the other day and it just
Speaker 1: I just felt like I'm just like this running joke
Speaker 1: between honestly between being you and well, I think that
Speaker 1: he underplays it a lot. He underplays what you guys
Speaker 1: had a lot, and that's just that's just kind of
Speaker 1: who he is his personality, So like that's not fair
Speaker 1: to do to me when like what we had was
Speaker 1: dealt And it's like and then what he said about
Speaker 1: you know, Banessa and everything, and like I get it
Speaker 1: because it's a weird sense of humor, but like it's
Speaker 1: for me, and it's like, I know that you cared
Speaker 1: about me, and you can't tell me one thing and
Speaker 1: then publicly say something else like that. That's just like
Speaker 1: that's not fair, and it's like it's not fair to
Speaker 1: make me feel like a joke when I felt like,
Speaker 1: you know, it wasn't you know, lasted forever, but like
Speaker 1: we had a bloss together, like and it's the weirdest
Speaker 1: trusting person ever, but like I really know, like we
Speaker 1: enjoyed each other's company. Like just because it wasn't forever,
Speaker 1: it doesn't mean it's like I didn't appreciate what it
Speaker 1: was in my life. But I was like, it's not
Speaker 1: fair for me to keep publicly making it seem like
Speaker 1: I meant nothing to you and making me seem like
Speaker 1: a joke. Like that doesn't work for me. I think
Speaker 1: it's also the dynamic that Dean and and Alex have
Speaker 1: together like you bring out. I mean, you guys are
Speaker 1: just like two together and I get it, like I
Speaker 1: I can empathize, like I sure, like yeah, I think, well,
Speaker 1: I think we'll have a trying to say it is
Speaker 1: just like we will text like to Alex and I
Speaker 1: like to buck on each other, and I think that
Speaker 1: kind of extends past sometimes. Oh yeah, I was a
Speaker 1: part of the I was part of the you know,
Speaker 1: and I was like, what is happening? And I had
Speaker 1: to do damage control. I messaged Caroline. I was texting
Speaker 1: him like, no, this is not true. I was loving
Speaker 1: all thea is going on. Yeah, it's not there for
Speaker 1: me when like he and like it's weird because I've
Speaker 1: seen I've never talked to you before. I have this
Speaker 1: weird like insecurity, like when it comes to you because
Speaker 1: I feel like they're just weird like conversation that happens
Speaker 1: behind my back and I'm probably just overseeking it, like
Speaker 1: and I know, and it even comes down to like
Speaker 1: I've heard you guys think about how I was the
Speaker 1: women tell all and like at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: if someone it's like if someone's kidding on one of
Speaker 1: your people, if someone like hurt your person, you're going
Speaker 1: to like have their back. And like the way that
Speaker 1: like I've been talked about in the sense that um
Speaker 1: like I feel like, like, oh, Carolyn so dramatic and
Speaker 1: she's so thirsting, Like everyone's like, oh, it's Carolyne's auditions
Speaker 1: for Paradise. Like when that happens, I had a boyfriend.
Speaker 1: I had no intention of going on Paradise, And the
Speaker 1: thing that happened was is that I had the okay
Speaker 1: from producers. I was told exactly what I was and
Speaker 1: was not allowed to say. But at the end of
Speaker 1: the day, like, already hurt my friend, and like if
Speaker 1: someone hurts your person, you're gonna want to be like, hey, Anyboddy.
Speaker 1: And that's what the Women Tell All on was for me.
Speaker 1: I mean, hey, I agree with all that. I don't
Speaker 1: think I ever criticized you for the Women Tell All thing,
Speaker 1: have I I just feel like there's this weird like
Speaker 1: subtext where I'm just like you No, I mean listen,
Speaker 1: I feel like that would Dean sometimes too, And we've
Speaker 1: known each other for a while, so I think it's
Speaker 1: it's probably don't know you, and I don't really know
Speaker 1: your sense of humor in person, but yeah, do you
Speaker 1: know do you can say something like sarcastic with the
Speaker 1: biggest smile on your on his face, and it's like,
Speaker 1: what are you on? I can see I can see
Speaker 1: how it could be confusing. I can, at least from
Speaker 1: my perspective. I've never seen anyone necessarily criticize you for that,
Speaker 1: and neither I've never seen anyone say anything about you.
Speaker 1: Then that's this point to um. It's it's certainly a
Speaker 1: superpower to wear that emotional ability on your sleeve as
Speaker 1: you do. And I actually I sometimes get down on
Speaker 1: myself because I don't have the ability to do that,
Speaker 1: and I wish, I go back and forth on wishing
Speaker 1: I would be able to, and kind of glad sometimes
Speaker 1: that I don't, And I think that there is a
Speaker 1: balance there somewhere. But at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: I think, like, if you're able to, like you said,
Speaker 1: you have your friends back, and you are able to
Speaker 1: be vulnerable and open up emotionally a lot more than others,
Speaker 1: I think that's at the end of the day of
Speaker 1: a superpower, in my opinion. So Caroline, I could relate
Speaker 1: because I feel like when I did a fr with
Speaker 1: nick Um, I was for being really I don't know
Speaker 1: if Dean did you watch our a far I did not, anyway,
Speaker 1: so we ended up being like very honest about the
Speaker 1: struggles of being in a public relationship and blah bla
Speaker 1: blah blah, and I got I got on because I
Speaker 1: wasn't the girl that was like, oh, like A life's
Speaker 1: perfect and I'm like like, it's not, like I don't
Speaker 1: know why, yeah, Like it's exactly like rules and show happen.
Speaker 1: It's not your life, like yeah, it's not realistic. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So I totally get that in Another thing that I
Speaker 1: want to say is when you feel like because I remember,
Speaker 1: like you were, we were messaging each other back and
Speaker 1: forth and you were saying things that people were saying
Speaker 1: or whatever or whatever. And when it's about you, you
Speaker 1: know all the b s I people are saying about
Speaker 1: you because it's about you. But when it's about someone else,
Speaker 1: like I didn't and then Alex is the one who
Speaker 1: I have I have lived ignorantly lives for all this time,
Speaker 1: not going what the Reddit one, and then Alex that
Speaker 1: mother Robert, like can you be going to come on
Speaker 1: in this episode and get rid of that like this,
Speaker 1: get rid get rid of what Alex would like read
Speaker 1: read it out loud to me and I was like,
Speaker 1: are you serious? And he' he messaged me saying never
Speaker 1: go on rend it. Once I sent him that message,
Speaker 1: he is. So he's the only reason I know what
Speaker 1: breddit is. I have literally felt ignorantly list this whole time,
Speaker 1: not knowing that the me out there. But yeah, that's
Speaker 1: the sting. People are going to hit you whether you
Speaker 1: do which I don't know, they're gonna get regardless, but
Speaker 1: um and you like everyone in general. Yeah oh yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah Caroline, let me never find that. That's definitely thanks,
Speaker 1: thank you for clarifying that. Um yeah, well okay, so
Speaker 1: what's next to you in Caroline, because we are we
Speaker 1: going to see you on Paradise this year in America? No, No,
Speaker 1: that like the one um as most is Alex. He's
Speaker 1: such paying my ass, Like you know, I love the
Speaker 1: guys great, he's a great person and he was the
Speaker 1: perfect um like final Chapter and his whole Bachelor. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I did my shows like I did three shows in
Speaker 1: a little in about a year, like yeah, but he
Speaker 1: was you know, the first two. I felt really defeated
Speaker 1: because you have this idea of what the show Kennedy
Speaker 1: when you've gone, and it's just so far from like, um,
Speaker 1: you know what you what you're expected, and so like
Speaker 1: the first two were pure garbage and um, leaving you know,
Speaker 1: Paradise Australia with Alex and having a real relationship come about,
Speaker 1: even though the relationship didn't work out, Like, I just
Speaker 1: feel like I got what I wanted out of this
Speaker 1: and m hm, let's just close all of that. I
Speaker 1: will say, having having known and met just a lot
Speaker 1: of bachelor guys over the past two years, despite all
Speaker 1: of his shortcomings which are very very obvious, Alex is
Speaker 1: definitely one of the best. Yeah, and like and I
Speaker 1: know that, but I just had to chew them out
Speaker 1: a little bit. Absolutely. And I will say, despite the
Speaker 1: fact that he underplays a lot of what you guys
Speaker 1: might have had or still have or whatever it is,
Speaker 1: he did speak very highly of you in private to
Speaker 1: me multiple, many, many, many many times. Because obviously, as
Speaker 1: you know he he kind of filters himself a little
Speaker 1: bit when um, I guess people are listening or cameras
Speaker 1: around all that kind of stuff, But in private he's
Speaker 1: he's willing to and able to open up. Um, and
Speaker 1: so I just wanted to let you know that he
Speaker 1: has spoken very highly of you many many times. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we don't want to shoke as you go too much.
Speaker 1: Um and then so so beyond Batchelor, then is there
Speaker 1: anything else that's next for you? And then um, I
Speaker 1: guess moving forward? Um well, I mean I just kind
Speaker 1: of make some money to do some real estate stuff.
Speaker 1: And um, everyone keeps asking only saying questions over and over,
Speaker 1: so I might get him from the bandwagon. And I'm
Speaker 1: trying to put together a little blog or something so
Speaker 1: people can stop asking me where to go in Port
Speaker 1: Lauderdale for their bachelor party, so like go speak about
Speaker 1: love it, but bachelor party Like that's kind of more
Speaker 1: like a planning type stuff though, isn't it. But the
Speaker 1: people I just that's the number one question I get
Speaker 1: asked was like, I'm saying it for a Lauderdale where
Speaker 1: do I go for pretty? And I can't tell everyone
Speaker 1: everything always so like but it's like that, and then
Speaker 1: it's like other stupid questions like I mean, they're totally
Speaker 1: valid questions over and over. You want to have like
Speaker 1: you you want to be able to provide like a
Speaker 1: one sheet for someone that might be visiting something somewhere
Speaker 1: like yeah, and just stuff like that and just kind
Speaker 1: of gets to know the area and I love stuff.
Speaker 1: Just share all that with everybody, and yeah, we're so similar.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm doing from Montreal to wait, I'm doing
Speaker 1: that for l A right now. Oh my god, you
Speaker 1: guys with your van and exactly. Um, well, great, we'll
Speaker 1: be on the lookout for that. Caroline. Thank you so
Speaker 1: much for taking the time to call in and share
Speaker 1: all of that. Uh, we'll be sure to follow along
Speaker 1: on your social will be on the lookout for the
Speaker 1: blog hopefully dropping soon. And if if anyone's listening to this,
Speaker 1: if anyone's looking at buying you sell residentially residential real
Speaker 1: estate and for or it anywhere in Florida. If anyone's
Speaker 1: looking for a home in Florida, hit up Caroline, um
Speaker 1: and she'll give you a great rate. She'll get you,
Speaker 1: she'll help your clothes on those uh, those those deals
Speaker 1: that you want. So Caroline, thank you again. Great, come on,
Speaker 1: I know I'm not the best. I appreciate the sarcasm.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go thank you so much. This whole podcast
Speaker 1: has just gone. It's escalated. We've got a lot of
Speaker 1: so much bleeping in this episode, lots of F bombs,
Speaker 1: lots of talk of masturbating. Some people wonder why this
Speaker 1: show is late today because we've been bleeping for hours?
Speaker 1: Can we just can we please just have one unbleeped
Speaker 1: show in our rated movies, you're allowed one f work
Speaker 1: in a whole year of podcasting, can have one episode
Speaker 1: that allows no bleeping. I don't know what the I
Speaker 1: Heart Radio policy is on that. I guess PG thirteen
Speaker 1: not a rated I said, I said, ah, P three
Speaker 1: with what F'm yeah, there's more than just F bombs, masturbation.
Speaker 1: Masturbation We're okay with it's a technical term. Yeah, okay, Um,
Speaker 1: did you shoot this email from ari El Vanessa? She says,
Speaker 1: your boyfriend Josh is exactly who the psyche predicted for
Speaker 1: you a year ago on one of the podcasts. I know.
Speaker 1: I want to if we can, can we actually go
Speaker 1: back to that episode? We should? Yeah? She said, the
Speaker 1: best partner for you is someone not in the entertainment business,
Speaker 1: someone who probably never watches reality TV. She said, you
Speaker 1: need someone from outside that world, someone who would ground
Speaker 1: you and support you instead of competing with you and
Speaker 1: looks like you found him Ariel. It's so true when
Speaker 1: I and I want to talk to Taylor about this
Speaker 1: because we're both dating men who are not in the spotlight,
Speaker 1: who are not familiar with the Bachelor franchise. And I
Speaker 1: thought it was gonna be hard because my life is
Speaker 1: very public. Um. But once you start learning what the
Speaker 1: boundaries are, which are able to talk about what they're
Speaker 1: comfortable with you doing and not doing or not even
Speaker 1: not doing, just like you know, let them in the loop.
Speaker 1: In the loop, um, it's It's makes for a really
Speaker 1: healthy relationship. So I'm really, really really happy. Good Mega
Speaker 1: is the question of you, Dean, do you feel like
Speaker 1: you don't want to commit or date because you were
Speaker 1: hurt so much from his from your last few breakups?
Speaker 1: Do you feel like if you go all in you're
Speaker 1: just going to get hurt again? Interesting that is from Meg.
Speaker 1: It's funny, Well, I could give a long answer to
Speaker 1: have a long answer abbreviated answer. I think I think
Speaker 1: a long throw answer is what Meg deserves. The The
Speaker 1: short long answer is I don't really know exactly why,
Speaker 1: but I was going to it's funny because I had
Speaker 1: a very very similar conversation about this just yesterday or
Speaker 1: two days ago, and it actually goes back to my
Speaker 1: time on The Bachelor atte well, on my first one
Speaker 1: on one, I think I might have talked about this
Speaker 1: in my podt on this podcast at some point, and
Speaker 1: they were talking about we were talking about the loss
Speaker 1: of my mother before we're going into the nighttime portion
Speaker 1: of my one on one, and the producer made a
Speaker 1: comment of saying, if you could go back and erase
Speaker 1: your memory of your mom, would you do that knowing
Speaker 1: that she's not in your life anymore? And the obviously
Speaker 1: answer is no, of course I would never do that.
Speaker 1: And so then the question holds true now is would
Speaker 1: you would you hold yourself back in a relationship knowing
Speaker 1: that eventually it might end? When if it ends, you'll
Speaker 1: know that you'll still have positive memories from that relationship,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Con the questions, they're connected,
Speaker 1: um obviously different situations, but still connected in that sense.
Speaker 1: And so that's that's how I have to reflect back
Speaker 1: on myself and be like, Okay, well, if I'm going
Speaker 1: to dive in fully into a relationship that ultimately ends
Speaker 1: up not working out. Would I still look back on
Speaker 1: that relationship with regret, knowing that I still had positive
Speaker 1: memories and positive things to look back on, or would
Speaker 1: I regret diving fully? And I don't. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I still haven't really answered that question. I think that
Speaker 1: my unwillingness to get into a relationship now stems from
Speaker 1: a lot of different reasons. I don't know exactly which
Speaker 1: one to to specifically point out, um, but I think
Speaker 1: I think that the fear of loss is certainly one
Speaker 1: of them. Um, even though I know it's like, if
Speaker 1: I do everything to the best of my ability consistently
Speaker 1: and constantly, then I don't really foresee that happening. But
Speaker 1: I guess obviously there's always extenuating circumstances. So UM to
Speaker 1: the answer the question succinctly, yes, But that's just one
Speaker 1: reason of many reasons. And this is a tough one
Speaker 1: from anonymous. You'd like to get your opinion on both
Speaker 1: of you. I've been dating my boyfriend for about seven
Speaker 1: months now. We're both twenty seven. Things are going well.
Speaker 1: I'm the happiest I've ever been. However, a couple of
Speaker 1: weekends ago, we visited some of his friends and they
Speaker 1: all decided to get some cocaine. I told my boyfriend,
Speaker 1: may be nervous. He told me it wasn't a big deal. Well,
Speaker 1: the moment he snorted and I felt so uneasy I fainted. Yep,
Speaker 1: I fainted. We talked about it the next day. He
Speaker 1: was very understanding. I figured it wouldn't come up again
Speaker 1: because those friends will live in our city. But the
Speaker 1: very next weekend we were at a party and it
Speaker 1: came up again. I know that he likes it. I
Speaker 1: don't want to be a controlling girlfriend. I'd want his
Speaker 1: friends to judge me for not doing it. What do
Speaker 1: you guys think? Am I making a bigger deal out
Speaker 1: of this than it is? There's a tough question. I
Speaker 1: feel like I have the answers for these, and I
Speaker 1: don't know what i'd say to this one. Go ahead, Vanessa,
Speaker 1: your first sorry. I know that was like a constipation sound.
Speaker 1: I don't think that. Um. I don't think you need
Speaker 1: to a worry about whether or not his friends think
Speaker 1: that you're uh, whether or not his friends are judging you.
Speaker 1: If you're not into doing drugs, you're not into doing drugs.
Speaker 1: I've never done any drugs in my life. And I
Speaker 1: once stated someone who was, and it was a very
Speaker 1: difficult conversation for me to have because I didn't want
Speaker 1: to judge them, you know, if they were doing it recreationally,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't want them to feel like I'm
Speaker 1: judging them. I just don't want it done around me. Um.
Speaker 1: So that person eventually ended up not doing it anymore. Um,
Speaker 1: I'm not sure what they're doing now, but I don't
Speaker 1: I don't think you're making it a bigger deal. Then
Speaker 1: if you're not comfortable with something that, I mean, it's
Speaker 1: drug related, right, If you're not comfortable with dating someone
Speaker 1: who is recreationally doing drugs, then I don't know. I
Speaker 1: I personally wouldn't be able to handle that, especially at
Speaker 1: you know, she's what I think a personal preface seven
Speaker 1: months now. I mean, I've dated girls who have, like,
Speaker 1: I don't really smoke weed. I mean I do, but
Speaker 1: maybe a couple very different no, I know, but I'm
Speaker 1: just saying I maybe smoke a couple of times a year.
Speaker 1: I've dated girls who would smoke it consistently and constantly,
Speaker 1: and I know it's like a much much different situation.
Speaker 1: But even that, I was kind of like, well, like,
Speaker 1: that's kind of weird. I don't know if I really
Speaker 1: like that very much. As far as the cocaine situation goes,
Speaker 1: it sounds like he's just surrounding himself with the wrong people,
Speaker 1: and I don't know if he likes it as much
Speaker 1: as he likes being with his friends. And I've been
Speaker 1: in that situation before too, was like, I've how honest,
Speaker 1: so we're gonna get on this podcast. I've never personally,
Speaker 1: I've ever personally purchased or or sought the drug out before,
Speaker 1: but I've done it socially with my friends solely because, yes, solely,
Speaker 1: because they're like, hey, we're doing this. I'm like, all right,
Speaker 1: I guess I'll do it with you guys a few times,
Speaker 1: you know. Um. And so I would say from the
Speaker 1: email or if she has an issue with that, I don't.
Speaker 1: From what it sounds like, it sounds like it's not
Speaker 1: an issue with the boyfriend. It sounds like it's the
Speaker 1: people that he's are surrounding himself with. And I've even
Speaker 1: taken the steps, but that's an issue too, surely. Absolutely.
Speaker 1: I mean this is for me, was years ago, and
Speaker 1: I've taken the steps to remove those people that are
Speaker 1: still doing it to this day to remove them out
Speaker 1: of my life. Um, it's just like, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I just think that she shouldn't overstep the boundaries by saying, hey,
Speaker 1: you should stop doing this. But at the same time,
Speaker 1: there's a balance of being like, hey, I have your
Speaker 1: best interests in mind, and I think that you should
Speaker 1: go the way of maybe facing these people out of
Speaker 1: your life. So the issue is if she tells him
Speaker 1: not to do it, then he won't do it in
Speaker 1: front of her, but we'll do it behind her back.
Speaker 1: And you're dating someone that is doing things well. The
Speaker 1: second he starts doing things someone's back is when that's
Speaker 1: when you know the relationship is going to go down
Speaker 1: the dumper. Right, So what I'm saying is like to
Speaker 1: not judge him because hey, if someone wants to do
Speaker 1: something recreationally or whatever the case is, like, that's too
Speaker 1: that's up to them to the side. But if you're
Speaker 1: someone who doesn't enjoy that or doesn't enjoy being around it,
Speaker 1: it's hard. It's it's hard to mesh two different types
Speaker 1: of lifestyles because that's what that's what it is in
Speaker 1: the end. Right here, whose responsibility does it fall on?
Speaker 1: Does it fall on him to stop it or does
Speaker 1: it fall on herd to be accepting of the idea
Speaker 1: of him doing it. I mean, m Mark, well, I
Speaker 1: can already imagine how it's going to go when she
Speaker 1: brings it up to him. If she says, like, so,
Speaker 1: is this something going to be doing? Is this something
Speaker 1: that's important to you, he'd be like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: I just felt like doing it, So I did it?
Speaker 1: Like why you a'm me like this? Like I can
Speaker 1: already see him getting really like defensive like that when
Speaker 1: when she comes out. So I think I try to
Speaker 1: generalize these things as much as I can, whether it's drugs,
Speaker 1: whether it's porn, video games. We all have our deal
Speaker 1: breakers in a relationship and what we can and can't handle.
Speaker 1: And I think she needs to figure out is this
Speaker 1: a deal breaker for her or not. The fact that
Speaker 1: she wrote to a podcast about it tells me that
Speaker 1: I think it may be it's bothering her more than
Speaker 1: even maybe she realizes it is, because it took she
Speaker 1: took the time to do this, So I think that,
Speaker 1: I mean, the conversation is gonna stink, But I do
Speaker 1: think maybe you start to pull back a little bit
Speaker 1: because this may not be the guy for you, right,
Speaker 1: I think maybe feel it out a little bit longer. Again,
Speaker 1: I still think it's a friend thing. Like there's people
Speaker 1: that he's around consistently on weekends, whether they're from out
Speaker 1: of town or whether it's the friends that he's within
Speaker 1: this town that they live in now that has a huge,
Speaker 1: huge influence and effect on them before you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. Okay, but do you want to be with
Speaker 1: some You've been that guy before in your early twenties,
Speaker 1: he's in his late twenties. Do you want to be
Speaker 1: with someone who gets easily influenced by his social surroundings.
Speaker 1: That's another question to ask yourself. Um, I don't know,
Speaker 1: it's it's really to her to make that decision. We
Speaker 1: all are to some degree. So many I know so
Speaker 1: many women who smoke only when they're with a certain
Speaker 1: group of friends and never any other time. Maybe what
Speaker 1: if she said to him, look, I'm really not comfortable
Speaker 1: with this, So I need you to know that, and
Speaker 1: I need you to keep that in mind going forward.
Speaker 1: And he keeps doing it, that tells you a lot
Speaker 1: that's the case. But what if he says what if
Speaker 1: he comes back with saying, I look, I see, I
Speaker 1: understand that it means a lot to you, and I
Speaker 1: understand it's important to you, but I'm going to keep
Speaker 1: doing it. Then then she just I guess essentially at
Speaker 1: that point, then then she has all the information she
Speaker 1: needs to either stay or leave. Right exactly. So there,
Speaker 1: I guess I don't know who didn't really help her there.
Speaker 1: I we don't really give answers, but sometimes talking it
Speaker 1: out and hearing us talk it out, she thinks of
Speaker 1: different angles and maybe maybe that helps her in something.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna make one definitive stance. Just give me a
Speaker 1: second to think about it, say drop his ass. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I would say drop it just because that's how I am.
Speaker 1: I'm very black and white. We've had this convert station before.
Speaker 1: It's hard for me to like, you know, be in
Speaker 1: the middle. So I'm someone who is either like you're
Speaker 1: doing something or you're not doing something, and especially like
Speaker 1: I don't know, like it's I don't know, it's not
Speaker 1: something i'd be comfortable with because I guess I just
Speaker 1: put it all back, bring it all back to me, right.
Speaker 1: As someone who is very willing to do a lot
Speaker 1: of things and says yes, to a lot of things.
Speaker 1: I would hate if me doing the things that I
Speaker 1: do would change would have someone's would change someone's opinion
Speaker 1: of me because of just that, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: my open mindedness and my I guess willing to do
Speaker 1: those things is one of my favorite things about me.
Speaker 1: And I would never ask someone to like if they
Speaker 1: hated it, to stay with me because of it or
Speaker 1: anything like that. Like, I don't think it would ever
Speaker 1: be a problem to that extent. But I'm just trying
Speaker 1: to put myself in his shoes where I like. I
Speaker 1: like to do things. I like to try new things.
Speaker 1: Sometimes those things aren't the best things, but sometimes they're
Speaker 1: a good things. You need to be You need to
Speaker 1: be with someone who just as flexible as you are.
Speaker 1: Like you and I dating would be a disaster, right will.
Speaker 1: I mean, if it's just long to realize that he's
Speaker 1: gonna have been shipping you too for a long time,
Speaker 1: so that's too bad. Um, Also, seven months into a relationship,
Speaker 1: the guy is gonna feel like you're trying to change
Speaker 1: him already, and that's gonna be He's gonna bristle. But
Speaker 1: here's the thing. If it's seven months into a relationship
Speaker 1: and she's experiencing this for the first time with him.
Speaker 1: It's not it's not a trend. It's an outlier, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. And so it's certainly is she
Speaker 1: the first time? Definitely it was an outlier. Then that
Speaker 1: was her bothering her. Now I think it's just I
Speaker 1: think the two weekends in her ow thing is just
Speaker 1: one of those things where it's like, you're gonna look
Speaker 1: back on it seven months from now and be like, hey,
Speaker 1: the time that you're an idiot, and he's gonna be like, yeah, maybe,
Speaker 1: and then he might do it again in seven months.
Speaker 1: It's like, as long as he's not going out buying
Speaker 1: it himself, doing it by himself every week, like every weekend,
Speaker 1: that's when I really think problem starts to form um.
Speaker 1: Social habits I don't think are necessarily the worst things
Speaker 1: in this So then you've got to consider how much
Speaker 1: do you like this guy, how much do you see
Speaker 1: your future with this guy? How much potential does this
Speaker 1: relationship has have, because that tells you how much you
Speaker 1: need to kind of tolerate and see what we can
Speaker 1: get through, right, and also maybe ask yourself, do I
Speaker 1: want the potential father of my children to be someone
Speaker 1: that does this type of stuff. And if the answer
Speaker 1: is no, then obviously get rid of him. And if
Speaker 1: the answer is well, maybe then feel it out a
Speaker 1: little bit. Maybe if the dad did that when he
Speaker 1: was twenty seven and now he's forty and he's the
Speaker 1: head of a CEO of some major company. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: a lot of people have that stuff in their path,
Speaker 1: myself included, and it might be my future. Who knows.
Speaker 1: You're just up for whatever, just what I was up
Speaker 1: for a party. We're good. That should do it for today.
Speaker 1: What a great episode I have to get. We talked
Speaker 1: about masturbating, we said, we said at least times on
Speaker 1: the show. We talked about drug use recreationally. We talked
Speaker 1: about That's about it. That's all we talked about today. Anyways.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode
Speaker 1: of How Up I Suck at Dating. We hope that
Speaker 1: you guys are still fans of us as individuals despite
Speaker 1: everything we shared today. Um, the date is June tenth.
Speaker 1: I don't know why I felt like sharing that, but
Speaker 1: I just thought you guys wanted to know in case
Speaker 1: you're filling out some legal paperwork today. Big thank you
Speaker 1: to my great friend Alex B for calling back in
Speaker 1: and clearing the air um and for apologizing. I think
Speaker 1: it's you know, it definitely was out a line of
Speaker 1: him to say the things that he said last week,
Speaker 1: but joking or not, you know, so I'm glad he
Speaker 1: was able to clear the air. Alex, and I appreciate
Speaker 1: the apology. I'm glad that that didn't drive a wedge
Speaker 1: between you and Josh. I don't think that it ever would.
Speaker 1: In fact, didn't like as obviously telling you guys are
Speaker 1: comfortable with each other. Big thank you to your friend Taylor.
Speaker 1: Taylor for coming on and we were not gonna I
Speaker 1: called her and this was masturbation and sextying and all
Speaker 1: that wasn't part of the conversation, but I'm glad it
Speaker 1: was today. Yeah, supposed to be about the long d's
Speaker 1: and then we talked. Well I think that's probably what
Speaker 1: said it off for her, honestly, probably. And then of course,
Speaker 1: big thank you to Caroline Leney for calling in and
Speaker 1: sharing her side of the batchel Or in Paradise, Australia
Speaker 1: story with Alex. It sounds like they're in a good spot.
Speaker 1: It sounds like they're both being adults about everything. And uh,
Speaker 1: they're both in Port Lauderdale right now, so we'll see
Speaker 1: what happens. But um, anything else, Vanessa, No, that is it, guys.
Speaker 1: I'm happy to be back. I missed you guys the
Speaker 1: last two episodes. Yeah, you took a nice little hiatus there.
Speaker 1: We missed you as well. I did. And I was
Speaker 1: thinking about you while i was driving back to much
Speaker 1: Off from Maine, and I'm like, this is what Dean
Speaker 1: probably feels like, so liberating being in a like in
Speaker 1: your van and driving around and it's such like a
Speaker 1: nice feeling. I actually wanted to talk to you more
Speaker 1: about the main journey that you just took, but I'll
Speaker 1: call you later and talk to you about that off. Um,
Speaker 1: but thank you so much for being a listener of
Speaker 1: this podcast. We love you and we appreciate you, and
Speaker 1: we hope that if anything else, like you can maybe
Speaker 1: gain some knowledge, some information, some insight to these types
Speaker 1: of issues that all of us have on a daily basis.
Speaker 1: Big thank you to Mark and Easton for being great
Speaker 1: producers and all they're bleeping that they're doing in this episode.
Speaker 1: Thanks guys. Be sure to tune in next week, um
Speaker 1: where maybe we might suck a little bit less. Follow
Speaker 1: help by Suck at Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared
Speaker 1: on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast