Speaker 1: Call It what it Is with Jessica Capshaw and Camille Luddington,
Speaker 1: an iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2: Hello, Hello, Hi, call it Crew.
Speaker 3: I'm laughing because Jessica, do you know that you have
Speaker 3: a signature? Jessica, do you know that you have a signature? Hello?
Speaker 3: To our listeners, it's always Hello, Hello, Hello, call it crew.
Speaker 3: And now I feel like I can't ever start the
Speaker 3: pop because I'm like, that's that's the good vibe to start.
Speaker 2: Our hot allways.
Speaker 1: I actually did notice that I just recently noticed that
Speaker 1: that's how I started, and I'm hoping that's a good thing.
Speaker 1: That's the way the spirit meet me when we start
Speaker 1: these off. And I also always get to look at
Speaker 1: your face, so I get all excited. That's my when
Speaker 1: I see your face. Now just say.
Speaker 2: Hello, Hello, Hello. Yeah, I'm gonna add this move in.
Speaker 3: Now we need to shoulder shim. It's a little ship. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it's little Hello.
Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, Camilla Ludington.
Speaker 3: Hello, Jessica Capshaw. I'm so excited to be here with
Speaker 3: you today.
Speaker 1: I'm very excited to be here with you today. My
Speaker 1: morning start off a little rougher around the edges than
Speaker 1: I really wanted it to. Nothing tragic, nothing, nothing of
Speaker 1: great import, just more a rainy day, a rainy day
Speaker 1: on the East Coast during a week that the kids
Speaker 1: are in tennis camp and tennis has played outside, and
Speaker 1: when it rains, tennis would probably be less enjoyable, and
Speaker 1: orch is not possible, right because the courts just.
Speaker 2: You can't play on it.
Speaker 1: None of this is really was stopping me from sending
Speaker 1: them no no. I was like, they're gonna they're gonna go,
Speaker 1: and they kind of they all looked at me. Normally,
Speaker 1: they don't even think it's the possibility to say, like,
Speaker 1: let's not go. They wouldn't even ask. But for some
Speaker 1: reason they paused. And the pause normally doesn't make me pause,
Speaker 1: Like normally it's just yeah, keep going, keep walking. But
Speaker 1: I paused, and the double pause gave way. Yeah, they
Speaker 1: paused and I pause. They saw a window, they saw
Speaker 1: the wind, they saw the window, they saw the crack.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and they went for it.
Speaker 1: They were like, but it's raining. And then they all
Speaker 1: started talking really really fast and explaining how when it
Speaker 1: rains that the campers go to the arena.
Speaker 3: Where they get killed. What's the arena where the Hunger
Speaker 3: Games happen.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, that's what I saw it. That's what I
Speaker 1: saw in my head. And then they said it smells
Speaker 1: like feet. The arena smells like feet.
Speaker 2: That sounds a little District twelve to me.
Speaker 1: Because now I'm an East Coaster. I thought, well, it
Speaker 1: must be a hockey rink. It must be it like
Speaker 1: in the winter at the hockey rink, right, and then
Speaker 1: the summer it's where you go when it rains or
Speaker 1: you've feel very bad.
Speaker 2: What is now? We need to know what.
Speaker 3: The arena is because do we need to call the cops?
Speaker 3: I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't know. We're gonna maybe you just let's well,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna explain more, and you're gonna tell me what
Speaker 1: my next best step is. So they said, we go
Speaker 1: to the arena. They said it smells like feet. And
Speaker 1: then they said, and we have to do fitness in
Speaker 1: the arena. Also, I haven't heard the word fitness in
Speaker 1: a while.
Speaker 3: I know that just bought I just did a little
Speaker 3: WinCE because it bought back some memories.
Speaker 1: Yeah you bumped on it.
Speaker 3: I did because it was like, you know, it bought
Speaker 3: out like school school fitness. Yeah, not my favorite.
Speaker 2: Oh, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1: That no Monday when we had to run the mile.
Speaker 1: I mean I would have done, truly. I think I
Speaker 1: did hide in the gym locker room a couple of times.
Speaker 3: Yeah, negative twelve degrees out and you're in a hockey skirt.
Speaker 1: No thanks, just running by the way, which, of course
Speaker 1: I've said it before, and I'll say again, I don't
Speaker 1: do and less chaste. So arena smells like feet, yeah, fitness, fitness,
Speaker 1: And the crack widened, and I said, you're not doing that,
Speaker 1: not on.
Speaker 2: My watch, on my watch, Oh you did. Oh so
Speaker 2: they're not at their arena.
Speaker 1: No, that's why the morning took some detours for me.
Speaker 2: Oh, because I thought they were there.
Speaker 3: I thought you were like, just you're gonna go and
Speaker 3: we're gonna find out if you survive.
Speaker 2: No, I I let them not go.
Speaker 1: And it started pouring, so I thought, well, that's a
Speaker 1: solid choice. And then an hour later when it was
Speaker 1: just drizzling, and they were like mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom,
Speaker 1: mom mom, And I was like, well, and then Poppy
Speaker 1: looked at me with these sad, sad eyes and she
Speaker 1: was like, I just I wanted to ask you a
Speaker 1: question and I Nope, that didn't that didn't soften me.
Speaker 1: You would have thought it would the big blue eyes,
Speaker 1: and you know it didn't soften. No, no, no, no, no, no
Speaker 1: no no. I was just way too stuck in my
Speaker 1: my Yeah. Yes, so I was like, I'm drying to
Speaker 1: work with a glowing eyes, fire coming out of my mouth.
Speaker 3: Yeah, fire. We've all been there. Lucas isn't too. He's like, well,
Speaker 3: I just what it's this a little husky, little like
Speaker 3: cute voice. I just want to ask a question. I'm like, okay, okay,
Speaker 3: what's the question he was like in toy Story does bus?
Speaker 3: I'm like, that's not a question. That's not a question.
Speaker 3: We don't need to talk about. Buzz like your right now,
Speaker 3: not an emergency. Well, I'm glad they didn't have to, like,
Speaker 3: you know, battle it out at the arena today. No,
Speaker 3: are you kind of like once it gets to a drizzle,
Speaker 3: maybe the arena's starting.
Speaker 2: To look a little good.
Speaker 1: Oh no, the arena started looking good. Not there wasn't
Speaker 1: didn't even have to get to drizzle. It was like
Speaker 1: four minutes after I made the decision that they were
Speaker 1: staying home. The arena sounded fine.
Speaker 2: Yeah, fine, and it's fine.
Speaker 3: Send them with a bow and arrow and they're on
Speaker 3: their way and it's gonna be fair.
Speaker 1: Yeah, these kids have a nice life, you know, little adversity,
Speaker 1: little little little friction, a little something or bump up against.
Speaker 3: We want to hear about my Yeah, well yes, please, Okay, Well,
Speaker 3: I uh forgot I had booked my dad to come
Speaker 3: into town and stay with me. I literally had forgotten.
Speaker 3: I had booked his tickets so far out that I
Speaker 3: literally forgot who was coming to visit until like a
Speaker 3: few days before. And I was like, crap, because it's
Speaker 3: so busy, and I definitely feel the pressure people staying.
Speaker 3: But I also forget always and I know that they
Speaker 3: can't listen parents. I wish it was an age that
Speaker 3: you got to where parents were like, you know what,
Speaker 3: they've got it. Like it's like they've got it, they're
Speaker 3: on their way, they've flown the nest. It's we don't
Speaker 3: need to give any more unsolicited advice. I'm gonna throw
Speaker 3: out an example of just one of the things my
Speaker 3: dad said to me this week that made me want
Speaker 3: to take to Tela shots. He was like, darling, he
Speaker 3: wanted to. He wanted to know about, you know, investments, right,
Speaker 3: because it's always like, you know, it's always the subjects
Speaker 3: that are like what are you doing with your life?
Speaker 3: Where is your you know, like it's always like the
Speaker 3: big things, right, So he was like, you know, you
Speaker 3: want to talk about investments, and then he goes Camilla
Speaker 3: etn musk Okay, because he will never get a name, right,
Speaker 3: he goes Eton musk Milla has come out with this
Speaker 3: sort of app ai that predicts the best like stocks
Speaker 3: and everything to invent, so you should really look into that.
Speaker 3: And I was like, great, these are the kind of
Speaker 3: gems I've been dealing with all week. Just send me that,
Speaker 3: just seriously. Or he'll say things like he doesn't know
Speaker 3: how the film industry works at all. He's like, should you.
Speaker 2: Tell Grey's Anatomy that Joe is ready to be cheap?
Speaker 3: And I'm like, yeah, should you know what I should
Speaker 3: tell them? And that's probably gonna happen. I'm gonna go
Speaker 3: up to our show runner Meg, who I love, and go, hey,
Speaker 3: my dad thinks that Joe Wilson's ready to be chief
Speaker 3: on the show.
Speaker 2: Uh huh, what are you?
Speaker 3: How are you feeling about that? Yeah? Thoughts and feelings,
Speaker 3: thoughts and feelings. And then of course he is Oh,
Speaker 3: here's the other thing he does. It's been driving me
Speaker 3: crazy all week. He loves our dogs. We have three
Speaker 3: rescue dogs. He loves our dogs. And he came in
Speaker 3: and he was like, Darling, the dogs are so thirsty.
Speaker 3: And I was like, Dad, their dog bowl is like
Speaker 3: right over with that. He goes, do they know where
Speaker 3: their bowl is? And I was like, no, Dad, For
Speaker 3: two years since we've lived here, they've actually just been
Speaker 3: wondering around the house dying of thirst, trying to figure
Speaker 3: it out.
Speaker 2: I was like, yes, they know where their bull is.
Speaker 3: Yes, And so honestly, I don't know if anyone's seen
Speaker 3: the movie signs and the movie signs Okay, the Alien
Speaker 3: movie with Mel Gibson. There's bowls of water fucking everywhere.
Speaker 3: Our house has about one hundred bowls of water out
Speaker 3: right now for our dogs. There's a bowl in every
Speaker 3: corner in case our dogs round that corner and decide
Speaker 3: they're thirsty forget where their og bowl is and need
Speaker 3: a drink. I'm not kidding.
Speaker 2: I took a video yesterday.
Speaker 3: I took a video yesterday and sent it to my
Speaker 3: siblings because I was like, it's sending me of my
Speaker 3: dog of my dad filling up the twentieth bowl of
Speaker 3: water outside because there was a corner of the yard
Speaker 3: that didn't have a bowl. So that that's been my week,
Speaker 3: szaper Shell, I can't.
Speaker 1: I think he was looking for some purpose and he
Speaker 1: was wrapping it up in his ability to give your water,
Speaker 1: your dog some water.
Speaker 3: It's so annoying. I'm gonna take actually, you know what,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna make a collage of all the water bowls
Speaker 3: are out right now and just for this, just for
Speaker 3: this episode.
Speaker 2: But yeah, why do they come with so much advice?
Speaker 3: Okay?
Speaker 1: Well, so I said, so, I see you so deeply
Speaker 1: on that because for whatever, maybe it's in maybe there's
Speaker 1: something in the water right now, maybe there's something in
Speaker 1: the star in the water world. Because I had a
Speaker 1: recent recently, I had a similar experience where I told you,
Speaker 1: in the summers, we spend a lot of time together,
Speaker 1: like the whole family, like the bigger family, like not
Speaker 1: just pot family, but like the bigger my family of origin,
Speaker 1: and so lots of time and it's so much fun.
Speaker 3: And isn't the whole gang go for the summer and
Speaker 3: stay together? Is that what?
Speaker 1: Yeah? But I'm kind of like a couple. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: like some in and out and all that. But you know,
Speaker 1: my mom and I are very closed and it's a
Speaker 1: great time to have lots of family togetherness and everything else.
Speaker 1: And I love spending time with her. She's one of
Speaker 1: my favorite people, so much fun. And this week she
Speaker 1: just every once in a while would like sort of
Speaker 1: have like just a note for the suggestion Box, oh,
Speaker 1: like just you know, some helpful little tidbit.
Speaker 3: And she's so sweet.
Speaker 1: She's been listening to the pods, which is so fantastic,
Speaker 1: and I feel so loved and super just happy and supported.
Speaker 1: And she's also just sort of had a couple notes
Speaker 1: for how I've been talking.
Speaker 3: No, no, oh my god, I don't even want to
Speaker 3: know what Mama Capshaw would say about what I say,
Speaker 3: because I think you're perfect on the pod And when
Speaker 3: I when I listen to the edit back, I'm like,
Speaker 3: oh god, let's just skip to Jess.
Speaker 1: No. No, I think you're perfect. I think you're perfect.
Speaker 1: But there's just been like a couple of things.
Speaker 2: Where do what are we allowed to know? One of
Speaker 2: the suggestion box suggestions.
Speaker 1: Okay, so this particular instance was and I was so
Speaker 1: I was talking, I was saying something, and I said
Speaker 1: the word she, like she did something or she went somewhere.
Speaker 1: And my mother said, oh, do you notice that when
Speaker 1: you say she, you really put a strong emphasis on
Speaker 1: the sh, like you really say she.
Speaker 3: Oh huh.
Speaker 1: She said, yeah, you just it's not just she, it's she.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, what do you do with that?
Speaker 1: Ill? And also just want to put this in there.
Speaker 1: She's not wrong, She's not wrong. I do all of
Speaker 1: a sudden, I'm now aware of the fact that I
Speaker 1: don't say she, I say she she.
Speaker 3: You know what I think you Here's a funny thing.
Speaker 3: When I listen to the pod. I think that you
Speaker 3: sound so like like Regal almost with your American accent. Okay,
Speaker 3: And I think I've adopted I think that when I
Speaker 3: came here, it's not my natural accent. I think I've
Speaker 3: adopted some sort of like Laguna Beach slur. I think
Speaker 3: it sounds like I'm like twenty martinis and sometimes and
Speaker 3: I'm also you know, I just I can't like the
Speaker 3: comparison it. Honestly, I sound drunk.
Speaker 2: No, you don't like it.
Speaker 3: I just sound sloppy, is what I'm trying to say.
Speaker 3: I sound I Sometimes I think I might sound very
Speaker 3: sloppy and like, why it why is that what I adopted?
Speaker 2: You don't like all that reality TV? I got problem
Speaker 2: because you were.
Speaker 3: My God, You're right, I need I need to start
Speaker 3: watching I don't know something more succession.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, there you go. Well I would. I don't
Speaker 1: I think American accents or anything but regal, but I will.
Speaker 1: I will take that compliment. I would compared to me
Speaker 1: my mother did. We really had some notes for the
Speaker 1: she and so I was like, okay, great, so it was,
Speaker 1: and I just sort of went okay because again like
Speaker 1: she's correct. So then I don't even know what it was.
Speaker 1: But I was saying something else and she said something
Speaker 1: about that I don't remember it was. And I was
Speaker 1: trying to think back on my own advice, which of
Speaker 1: course we keep saying, like give like be your best advocate,
Speaker 1: be your number one band, so like, listen to your
Speaker 1: own advice. And I said something along the lines of
Speaker 1: love you so much, thanks for them, feedback. My suggestion
Speaker 1: box is not open right now.
Speaker 2: Yeah, not taking.
Speaker 1: Suggestions, but I appreciate it, and I think we're good.
Speaker 1: And she and we speak in humor, so she completely
Speaker 1: got that. That was my nip it please, lady, hey, lady,
Speaker 1: zip it. Yeah, but you know you can't unring a bell.
Speaker 1: And now she's in my head and yeah, you're gonna
Speaker 1: say she might never be the same. I'm not sure.
Speaker 1: And then actually, funnily enough again going back to the
Speaker 1: and with a lot of family these days, maybe like
Speaker 1: the next day, I'm talking to my sister and I said,
Speaker 1: and she looked at me, and she said, you know,
Speaker 1: you do the Kardashian R.
Speaker 3: God, wait, what is that?
Speaker 2: What's the Kardashian R.
Speaker 1: Well, I actually weirdly knew exactly what she was referring to.
Speaker 1: It's the crispy R. It's the it's when I say great, great,
Speaker 1: or I say it's it's it's really getting a crispy.
Speaker 1: It's an R. It's a it's I don't know, it's
Speaker 1: not like a pirate urg, but it's like a there's
Speaker 1: a there's a real we'll say a word with an
Speaker 1: R in it.
Speaker 2: There's some heat on the R.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like if I think great, that's so great. Great
Speaker 1: normal people were you wouldn't you would just say great.
Speaker 1: But I guess this one, the crispy R is great? Right,
Speaker 1: So she says this to me, and normally I would
Speaker 1: think nothing of it and just continue, yeah, make it
Speaker 1: my breakfast. And I think because I had this the
Speaker 1: heat of the she moment earlier and again, you sort
Speaker 1: of will give your sibling stuff that you probably don't
Speaker 1: give your parents.
Speaker 3: I looked at her like, I don't know if this
Speaker 3: is because.
Speaker 1: We're going on week five of all being together and
Speaker 1: everything else. But let me ask you a question. Who cares?
Speaker 3: Who cares?
Speaker 2: How I say it, who cares?
Speaker 1: Why do you feel like you need to tell me?
Speaker 1: I don't?
Speaker 2: What do you what do you care? What do you want?
Speaker 1: What do you care?
Speaker 2: What do you want?
Speaker 1: And she kind of looked at me, and she's just sweet.
Speaker 1: She's just sitting there. She's like, well, it's just that
Speaker 1: you didn't always do it.
Speaker 2: Oh god, it's really funny. I was like, well I do.
Speaker 3: Now You're like, this is what I've adopted. I like
Speaker 3: the idea of the suggestion box. I think I'm gonna
Speaker 3: go home and be like, hey, dad, it's closed. Yeah,
Speaker 3: the thing is, but the problem is that somebody has
Speaker 3: to respect that it's closed. My dad will go okay,
Speaker 3: oh god, okay, Like I'm being like a little bit dronk.
Speaker 3: When I was younger, he used to go save it
Speaker 3: for the screen, Camilla, save it for the screen, Like
Speaker 3: I was like being such a demon, so annoying.
Speaker 2: Parents are so annoying all the time.
Speaker 1: It never runs, it never ends, especially now that I'm
Speaker 1: a parent, And I wonder, I think think you're right.
Speaker 1: I think that they never think their job is done,
Speaker 1: and I think that we won't either, which I think
Speaker 1: is something to consider. I think you gotta, we gotta.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to try, and I'm gonna write a
Speaker 1: note to myself in twenty years, yeah, you know, a
Speaker 1: little reminder note. But yeah, yeah. And I think that
Speaker 1: they care so much, and so they just they think
Speaker 1: that they're the unsolicited advice thing they just think is warranted.
Speaker 3: Yeah. But I also feel like there's that great thing
Speaker 3: of like parents being like super hypocritical. It's like my dad,
Speaker 3: I'm like, Kimala, have you drunk enough water today? And
Speaker 3: He'll be saying it like smoking the end of his
Speaker 3: pack of cigarettes, and I'm like, no, no, but I'm
Speaker 3: glad you're on cigarette number twenty. Asking me.
Speaker 1: Any who to do as I say, not as I do.
Speaker 3: Make sure you wear some sunscreen, and he has a
Speaker 3: sunscreen with a factor of four. Right now, I've never
Speaker 3: seen someone buy oil. I haven't seen them by tanning
Speaker 3: oil since I lived in Texas in ninety eight. My
Speaker 3: dad's the only one that picked it up from CBS.
Speaker 3: The reason why there's one off the shelf in CVS
Speaker 3: is because you're in last Night. Notice my dad got that.
Speaker 1: Is it like the Banda solet orange jealet?
Speaker 3: No, it's like the old Is it Santra like the
Speaker 3: the one that from the Canas. Yes, it smells like
Speaker 3: a coconut hit you in the face.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, No, like a pina colada.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, all kind of yeah.
Speaker 1: So the other thing that happened on the really really
Speaker 1: positive end of things is I got my hair done.
Speaker 1: I went to the salon and I got my hair
Speaker 1: colored and cut. And I gotta tell you, not for nothing.
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's the ceremony of it. I
Speaker 1: don't know if it's the aftermath the hair and the bowl.
Speaker 1: Like my kids always say that too, like no, no,
Speaker 1: like they'll take a dat home haircut, but they really
Speaker 1: want that that shampoo in the bowl at the salon. Really,
Speaker 1: But I got out of there, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I felt like I was walking in the slow motion
Speaker 1: with a wind machine in front of me. Like it
Speaker 1: was just everything changed. My whole perspective on life change.
Speaker 1: Like if I went in and there was storm clouds
Speaker 1: before I went in there, there was just bright sunny sunshine.
Speaker 3: The horse trying. That's how I'm speaking, That's how I
Speaker 3: speak on this.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I am. I was really really psyched about that.
Speaker 1: I was very very happy to get my hair done. Okay,
Speaker 1: so here's a funny little tidbit that goes back to
Speaker 1: what we were talking about before. While they can just
Speaker 1: assault us with all the unsolicited advice, they do redeem themselves.
Speaker 1: When I went to check out, I found out that
Speaker 1: my mother had treated me to my little salon experience.
Speaker 1: I guess it's self care, right, but it's also just
Speaker 1: there's something that fits a little extra spring in your
Speaker 1: step when you're when you're feeling all tidied up.
Speaker 3: It's funny because we did start shooting rais anutom me
Speaker 3: this week, no beauty for you and no well here, well, yes,
Speaker 3: no beauty for me because yeah, you're a doctor. Well, yes,
Speaker 3: I'm a doctor, but I can't spoil but Joe Wilson's
Speaker 3: you know, in the first episode's she's a little less
Speaker 3: makeup than we even usually wear. But it was the
Speaker 3: first time where I feel like this summer I've like,
Speaker 3: you know, I wake up. I woke up in the
Speaker 3: morning really early to go to work first filming day,
Speaker 3: and I looked in the mirror and it was like
Speaker 3: I could tell on my face how the summer had gone.
Speaker 2: Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 3: Like like it was like a map of like where
Speaker 3: everything had strutt And I was like, Jess, like, this
Speaker 3: is a situation. And then I got shown this, tweeted
Speaker 3: this picture of me which I'll put out on the
Speaker 3: pod of me when I was little starting the show,
Speaker 3: and I was like, damn, it's really hard. I've got
Speaker 3: to tell you aging. Look at this. I'll tweet this
Speaker 3: out too. Oh gosh, wow, yeah, tiny babe.
Speaker 2: I know, but it's hard.
Speaker 3: It's it's hard as an actress going into your next
Speaker 3: season and knowing that you've been this character for a
Speaker 3: while and you have really aged, You've aged, and every
Speaker 3: single mature age is sure matures you a little bit more.
Speaker 3: Every summer matures you a little bit more. And it
Speaker 3: was the first time this summer. I was like, damn,
Speaker 3: I gotta like get it together somehow.
Speaker 1: You're insane. If people could see what I'm looking at,
Speaker 1: You're like the most beautiful thing in the world, and
Speaker 1: you have the most beautiful face and it's just full
Speaker 1: of life and youth, and I just I see, I
Speaker 1: understand that you feel that way, and I disagree.
Speaker 2: Well, let's be real, Okay.
Speaker 3: I sat down on the pod before we started filming,
Speaker 3: and we're gonna talk about you today, So I'm gonna
Speaker 3: talk about this right now. I told Jessica. I was
Speaker 3: so excited because I found the touch up my Appearents
Speaker 3: button on the zoom and I did a little I
Speaker 3: did a little skism.
Speaker 2: I clicked it. I couldn't click it all the way
Speaker 2: because I.
Speaker 3: Just ended up blur and like one eyeball, and I honestly,
Speaker 3: I was a little tempted. I was like, that's a
Speaker 3: good eyeball. That's a blur, And then I had to
Speaker 3: take it down to it where it's a little realistic.
Speaker 3: But I feel this is not actually really what In fact,
Speaker 3: if I put my hand in front of my face,
Speaker 3: is it doing it? No, it doesn't do a glitch.
Speaker 3: It's not that much, but I mean I felt like
Speaker 3: I needed just a little little wink wink Today, Yeah
Speaker 3: you need a little a little But isn't it crazy
Speaker 3: that our technology can kind of lie that much? Oh well,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean, Like even on a zoom,
Speaker 3: I don't look quite like this. This is really like
Speaker 3: I have a little I'm tired in here, and the
Speaker 3: touch of my parents little has kind of made it
Speaker 3: all disappear.
Speaker 1: I uh, yeah, well, I think technology has definitely changed
Speaker 1: a lot of that, like what's real what's not. And
Speaker 1: one of the first times I actually thought, wow, there's
Speaker 1: probably a very big difference between you used to remember
Speaker 1: when you used to only see candid pictures of celebrities
Speaker 1: because an invasive group of paparazzi took a picture and
Speaker 1: they were so priceless because you were like celebrity in
Speaker 1: the wild.
Speaker 2: Oh my god. They used to have that, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: celebrities in the wild.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And then there would be where you were meant to
Speaker 1: see them on a red carpet, and so that was
Speaker 1: where you saw the people that you looked at in
Speaker 1: movies and television, right, And I think that that was
Speaker 1: what they looked like what people looked like. But now
Speaker 1: everybody's in charge of their own image, and likely most
Speaker 1: of what's seen is stuff that they've taken themselves and
Speaker 1: put online or on their social media apps or whatever,
Speaker 1: and which everything can be altered however you'd like it
Speaker 1: to be, and I did. I remember a couple of
Speaker 1: years ago seeing a picture of someone on a red
Speaker 1: carpet that I'd only been looking at on social media
Speaker 1: for a while, and there was a huge disparity the
Speaker 1: way that the person looked on the red carpet on
Speaker 1: real film versus what they had been putting out on
Speaker 1: their you know, Instagram page was totally different because of
Speaker 1: the way that they used filters and you know, touch
Speaker 1: up my appearance or whatever, which by the way I've done,
Speaker 1: I understand, I mean absolutely, I mean, I you know,
Speaker 1: I do sort of feel like there's a it's personal right,
Speaker 1: like you have to My personal opinion is like you can, Josh,
Speaker 1: but you can't like reconfigure you know what.
Speaker 3: This is really funny you say this like it can't
Speaker 3: be a different head.
Speaker 2: Yes, no, but let's talk about this.
Speaker 3: I had a picture myself that I wanted to just
Speaker 3: a little right and face Tune is the only app
Speaker 3: that I know that is you can you can kind
Speaker 3: of juja a little bit, right, maybe you smooth out
Speaker 3: a little lions here and there. But I discovered the
Speaker 3: button where it's like it can auto just do a hole.
Speaker 3: I don't even know what it's called, but it's like
Speaker 3: the button that can you can press it, and the
Speaker 3: AI kind of was like, you know what, we can
Speaker 3: fix kind of this for you, right. I swear to god,
Speaker 3: apparently my face is a Picasso because it literally shaved
Speaker 3: my chin off, like I don't know if I have
Speaker 3: a buzz light your chin. It shaved my chin down.
Speaker 3: It gave me I was like gee. I was like,
Speaker 3: oh my god, is this what I need done? My
Speaker 3: eyeballs increased by five hundred percent on my precess, my
Speaker 3: lips were like so juicy, and then I had to
Speaker 3: go like back and forth between it because I was like, what.
Speaker 2: What have they done?
Speaker 3: AI has taken my face and been like this is
Speaker 3: not gonna work and has literally showed me like this
Speaker 3: sucks on you, and I was like, this is fucked. Yeah,
Speaker 3: this is messed up. I wasn't even asking for that.
Speaker 3: I wasn't trying to increase my eyeball size. But I
Speaker 3: was like, you might want to look into that.
Speaker 1: You might want to look into that for sure.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I had.
Speaker 1: I had that one time. By the way, I think
Speaker 1: probably a little more insulting. I was in a big
Speaker 1: I was in this big Western mini series and they
Speaker 1: did a group picture where it was I mean, it
Speaker 1: had to have been fifteen to twenty cast members and
Speaker 1: we didn't even shoot us all at the same time,
Speaker 1: but we're all lined up and I shot mine alone
Speaker 1: because I had been working somewhere else at the time,
Speaker 1: so they had to put this together, this photo shoot
Speaker 1: for me, and I take my photo and I actually
Speaker 1: was feeling pretty good that day. And it was big,
Speaker 1: like big hair, big makeup, the anti Western because and
Speaker 1: that we were no makeup and we're in like the
Speaker 1: dirt all the time. And I see the pictures basterwards,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm totally happy with these pictures. These look great.
Speaker 1: I'm so like, they look fantastic. And then the billboard
Speaker 1: comes out and it was one of the ones on Sunset,
Speaker 1: so this oh yeah billboard. And then also they took
Speaker 1: out pages in Vanity Fair, so it's like really everywhere
Speaker 1: and I'm so excited because it's like a big deal
Speaker 1: for me. And I go to look at it and
Speaker 1: I flipped through the thing and I look at it,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, what the They had drenched me out,
Speaker 1: like they had taken me from my head where my
Speaker 1: hair was, and my toes where my little Barbie heels were,
Speaker 1: and they just bowed me up. I was they made.
Speaker 1: They gave me an avatar body. I didn't just like it.
Speaker 1: It just is not my body.
Speaker 3: So I had Zoe Selt on.
Speaker 1: His body and Avatar, so I had an Avatar body.
Speaker 1: And then same same my hair. I grew more of it.
Speaker 1: There was so much more in my hair, so much
Speaker 1: there was hair everywhere. Not only were my lips juicy,
Speaker 1: they were a totally different shape. They were like I
Speaker 1: get it that people like to overline the lips these days. Whatever, Okay,
Speaker 1: that's fun, that's dood. But they were like a bow.
Speaker 2: They were like they were like a.
Speaker 1: Big heart on top and had big heart and then
Speaker 1: like my bottom lip went down to where like the
Speaker 1: middle of my chinns. I look like one of those
Speaker 1: like you like a yeah, I look at a brat's
Speaker 1: exactly like a breath like.
Speaker 3: A slender man body with a bratstall head.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, oh oh and by the way, really new development.
Speaker 1: Because there's a lot of things that I've had issues
Speaker 1: with about myself that I about do to my insecurity
Speaker 1: or just you know, someone else's standard of beauty or
Speaker 1: whatever whatever, But I actually have never had a complaint
Speaker 1: about my nose. Like I've been like, I got a
Speaker 1: good nose. I'm good, Like I don't have any I
Speaker 1: don't when people you talk about shading it or shout
Speaker 1: at what's it called?
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh, contouring, contouring it.
Speaker 1: You know, I wouldn't even know what to do, and
Speaker 1: I want I don't know how that works. New nose.
Speaker 1: I had a new nose. My nose was not my
Speaker 1: nose on this billboard or this spread of I had
Speaker 1: a completely different nose. Again, this is I'm going to
Speaker 1: find this image and you're going to see it.
Speaker 3: This is what I'm talking about. This is what I'm
Speaker 3: talking about. The face tune did to me. I you know,
Speaker 3: it's like I'm googling like eyeball surgeries after.
Speaker 1: But my point is for you, it was an enameless,
Speaker 1: faceless AI. There was some motherfucker that looked at me.
Speaker 3: It was like, hold on, hold on, we can't put
Speaker 3: this out.
Speaker 1: We can't put this out. We gotta fix her up.
Speaker 2: Pull an pull an out. Nos, we saved a couple
Speaker 2: of weeks ago.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she is not fit to be.
Speaker 3: Okay, so we're in a crazy industry. Obviously standards. I
Speaker 3: want to know if you have ever, because I have
Speaker 3: a story. However, kind of lost a role based on
Speaker 3: your looks because I back in the day audition for
Speaker 3: a c W show that I did not get, and
Speaker 3: the casting director's feedback was I was not pretty enough
Speaker 3: for the wret the camera hair not excuse.
Speaker 1: You, c WU like says who first of all, you
Speaker 1: know what's funny?
Speaker 3: It's I was like what the what the fuck? Ever?
Speaker 3: I was like whatever, moving on it honestly didn't like
Speaker 3: I think because at that point I had so many
Speaker 3: notes in my career like.
Speaker 2: Just jokes on you get in line with the.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah yeah. Well, first of all, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: is that even I mean, yes, we are, we are
Speaker 1: absolutely trained to be and have that just be like okay,
Speaker 1: well that whatever. You can't even take it seriously because
Speaker 1: again it's like you're like, okay, fine, but I guess
Speaker 1: I guess what it brings up is like what it?
Speaker 1: What is? What is pretty? How do we understand what
Speaker 1: pretty is? What is pretty to that person? Was it
Speaker 1: like a group think like all of them decided that
Speaker 1: one a person decided that, Like I think that that's
Speaker 1: sort of where things start, which of course ended up
Speaker 1: being the question about what are the beauty standards and
Speaker 1: how do they get set and who sets them and
Speaker 1: obviously how much they change from you know, family to family,
Speaker 1: town to town, city to city, country to country, you know, culture.
Speaker 1: It all influences what is pretty or beautiful or whatever.
Speaker 1: I actually very specifically lost a job early in my
Speaker 1: career because I wasn't thin enough. And I remember I
Speaker 1: auditioned for it. It was like a rom com and
Speaker 1: it would have been like a very a big break
Speaker 1: for me, and I really wanted it and I worked
Speaker 1: really really hard on it, and I went in and
Speaker 1: I auditioned and I think I you know, probably went
Speaker 1: through three were in heats if you will, right, And
Speaker 1: I made it into to the director and the director
Speaker 1: was this lovely guy who was so awesome. He was like,
Speaker 1: you're my pick, like absolutely, like I think you're fantastic.
Speaker 1: I think it's gonna be amazing. And my manager said, Okay,
Speaker 1: here's the deal. You're the pick. The head of the
Speaker 1: studio thinks that you need to be thinner like they
Speaker 1: they just they do. And I was like okay, and
Speaker 1: they said, so they'd like to give you, you know,
Speaker 1: like I don't know what I was ten days, two
Speaker 1: weeks whatever.
Speaker 3: Ten days, yeah, something crazy. What are you going to do?
Speaker 2: Lose a limb?
Speaker 1: Honestly, it was so ridiculous. And again it's just so
Speaker 1: silly when I think back to my younger self, because
Speaker 1: I'm you know, part of me thinks to say to
Speaker 1: her like that, you know what, whatever, not your job,
Speaker 1: but you don't think that way and you want the job.
Speaker 1: So I remember they did this like very awkward thing
Speaker 1: where they said, okay, it's you know, they didn't say it,
Speaker 1: they didn't say it explicitly, right, but they said, you know, oh,
Speaker 1: in two weeks, we'd like for Jessica to come in
Speaker 1: and just have a meeting with the head of the studio,
Speaker 1: just you know, just a meet and greet. And it
Speaker 1: was a full check in like in those ten days.
Speaker 3: Because a scale and a measuring tape, but just ignore those.
Speaker 1: I just I know, and I tried, and oh, my gosh,
Speaker 1: your early twenties, the stupid shit you do that. I
Speaker 1: wish I could take all back, and I would just
Speaker 1: die if anyone I loved did it. But it was
Speaker 1: like I remember, there was like this. It was the
Speaker 1: cabbage soup diet. It was the oh my god, there
Speaker 1: was another one that was like just you can eat
Speaker 1: air and drink air, the Air Giant, the air diet.
Speaker 1: And I remember I did, I did all that I could.
Speaker 1: But the truth was is the when I was younger,
Speaker 1: I mean still, but I just had.
Speaker 3: I had. I'm assuming you, Distill did not get this role,
Speaker 3: by the way, you're the director's pick.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: The end of the story was that I was given
Speaker 1: those ten days and then I went in to meet
Speaker 1: the head of the studio and I don't even know
Speaker 1: if it was because of like whether I was thinking
Speaker 1: I must not have been thin enough. No, I didn't
Speaker 1: get the job, And the irony was that the person
Speaker 1: that did was actually quite well known in the business
Speaker 1: for having disordered eating, having you know, issues with disordered eating.
Speaker 1: So I was like, wow, this is so nuts. But yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, so the standard of beauty was thin.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would say it was worse then, Oh for sure, sure,
Speaker 3: definitely worse.
Speaker 1: And that and that's the interesting thing is that when
Speaker 1: you think about who sets the beauty standards and then
Speaker 1: you think about how they affect you. While you can
Speaker 1: say in this particular case, you can say like I
Speaker 1: don't care, like in my personal life, we're in such
Speaker 1: a weird business. Because it's then it felt like the
Speaker 1: difference between working and not right. You have to conform
Speaker 1: to the beauty standards. If you don't conform to the
Speaker 1: beauty standards, then you won't work, which is quite different
Speaker 1: than you know, I mean, most other situations.
Speaker 3: I'm very strange, and I feel like this might be
Speaker 3: a Sagittarius trait where I'm a little rebellious. So if
Speaker 3: I was given ten days to lose weight, the first
Speaker 3: thing I would do is go eat a hamburger. I'd
Speaker 3: like thank you, Like I'd be like, okay, I'll show
Speaker 3: up on Tuesday. I can't wait. And then i'd hang
Speaker 3: up and I'd be already in the dry through for
Speaker 3: in and out, Like I just have a little bit
Speaker 3: of like.
Speaker 2: I love that.
Speaker 3: Don't let you know, But I don't even know if
Speaker 3: that's the way to go with it. I think the
Speaker 3: better way to go is like, I'm just gonna carry
Speaker 3: on living my life. I don't think you need to
Speaker 3: go either way. I'm a little rebellious.
Speaker 1: Well that's the key, right, and that's what you end
Speaker 1: up at, I think, which is exactly right. You're gonna
Speaker 1: go live your life, right, You're gonna go live a
Speaker 1: life that is yeah, healthy and in your in your
Speaker 1: mind and body, and you're gonna look over it. You
Speaker 1: look like you're going to be healthy for you. You're
Speaker 1: going to be in your body. You're not going to
Speaker 1: try and make your body like somebody else's body, because
Speaker 1: everybody's body is different.
Speaker 3: I also feel like that reaction from me is also
Speaker 3: about trying to get control back. Worthy you are controlled, Yeah,
Speaker 3: you know, if the feedbacks are there or the other
Speaker 3: it's like I'm going to get it back by saying
Speaker 3: few and now I'm going to get the animal fries
Speaker 3: in and out. Yeah, because you've lot it's a situation
Speaker 3: where you've totally lost control.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I see, I didn't. I felt I felt the
Speaker 1: pressure to conform, and in my younger years, I don't
Speaker 1: even think I should say in my younger years, I
Speaker 1: have felt that I have felt the pressure to conform,
Speaker 1: and it does a number on me, for sure, I have. Yeah, Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's ways in which you know, I think that like,
Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not so I'm not so convinced that
Speaker 1: my idea of beauty is mine alone, right that I
Speaker 1: came up with what I think is beautiful. I think
Speaker 1: that I'm heavily influenced by all the things that are
Speaker 1: there in the world, and then and the ways in
Speaker 1: which you see people being looked at or or regarded
Speaker 1: as beautiful on your Yeah, for sure, for sure that's
Speaker 1: real for me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I also feel like we grew up in a
Speaker 3: time Like me as a teen, I was one of
Speaker 3: like Britney Spears came on the scene and it was
Speaker 3: like the low low jeens with things.
Speaker 1: Oh gosh, you need a special bikini wax to wear
Speaker 1: those things.
Speaker 3: Totally, you need a bikini wax you need It's like
Speaker 3: Brittany had the apps. I mean, there was no one.
Speaker 3: I was like, I want to be Britney Spears right Like,
Speaker 3: I was a couple of years younger that I wanted
Speaker 3: to be Britney and I felt like right off the bat,
Speaker 3: like early early, early, which is happening now and happens
Speaker 3: to everybody. There was a body type that I did
Speaker 3: not have. That that's what I needed to have.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what a p a bummer.
Speaker 3: It's hard because when you have kids too, It's like
Speaker 3: I look at Hayden and Lucas, both of them, and
Speaker 3: I love I made their little bodies. I like the
Speaker 3: idea that they could hate something about their body like
Speaker 3: destroys me and seems absurd too. Yeah, I can't have
Speaker 3: a great feeling about myself.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, I know. Oh, I know, there's so
Speaker 1: much to say there. But I think what I'm experiencing
Speaker 1: for the the the light that I see, the upgrade
Speaker 1: that I'm observing in looking at it through a parenting eye,
Speaker 1: is that it's really important how you talk to yourself
Speaker 1: through it. It's really really important that you're kind to
Speaker 1: yourself and that you acknowledge the thought.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 1: It's like, Okay, I'm doing that thing, like I'm looking
Speaker 1: at that person and I'm thinking I wish that I
Speaker 1: look like them for X, Y or Z reason, and
Speaker 1: I'm gonna feel that and then I'm gonna dismiss that
Speaker 1: thought and let it move right on. Along and not
Speaker 1: change my day, not change my behavior, or not change
Speaker 1: you know me, which is by the way, again, it's
Speaker 1: a fine line, but that doesn't mean to say that
Speaker 1: you throw everything out right. Sometimes you get inspired, and
Speaker 1: I do find makeup and hair and a lot of
Speaker 1: that kind of stuff really creative. And I can get
Speaker 1: inspired by people in the way that they do those
Speaker 1: their makeup. That's fun, you know, And and I think ultimately,
Speaker 1: like what did I start with?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 1: I got my hair cut and colored and it was
Speaker 1: like a whole new made There's something very fun and
Speaker 1: uplifting about certain aspects of like our rituals, you know,
Speaker 1: our beautiful our beauty rituals are our ideas of that.
Speaker 1: But then there's some really damaging negative self talk that
Speaker 1: can happen that that I think is you know, better
Speaker 1: left better left behind.
Speaker 3: You do you think as you've gotten older you feel
Speaker 3: more pressure in a way or less.
Speaker 1: I personally feel less me too. At the risk of
Speaker 1: sounding however this sounds, I I sort of feel cuter
Speaker 1: now than I was then. I mean, I know, I
Speaker 1: don't know. I look at pictures of myself now I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I get it. I get what people complain
Speaker 1: about with regards to maturing, But I think what you
Speaker 1: gain is more than what you lose, if you even lose.
Speaker 3: No, I think I think I feel cuter now, but
Speaker 3: I think it's I don't. I don't think. I think
Speaker 3: it's because just I have more confidence. Yeah, I don't
Speaker 3: think it comes from like esthetically I really am cuter now,
Speaker 3: or my hair is better or whatever. I just feel
Speaker 3: like my confidence is a lot better.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. Do you think the guys deal with it
Speaker 1: as much as like, what do you think men? Uh
Speaker 1: deal with it?
Speaker 3: I do.
Speaker 1: I think they do, but not in it's such in
Speaker 1: such a different way.
Speaker 3: In such a different way. But I definitely think the
Speaker 3: social media, I mean, talk, we listen, We're always going
Speaker 3: to end up at social media at some point in
Speaker 3: these conversations. Social media for guys is the same as
Speaker 3: for girls. But it's like all the workouts. There's a
Speaker 3: lot of pressure too, a lot because of social media
Speaker 3: that maybe there wouldn't have been there before necessarily, but
Speaker 3: there is now.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we have some statistics so we could read on this.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Also I feel like in a weird way, that's
Speaker 1: that's their thing. I think is interesting here at the
Speaker 1: male female not comparison. But no, it bear with me
Speaker 1: for a second. No, women like there are these standards
Speaker 1: of beauty or attractiveness, let's say for both, you know,
Speaker 1: people who identify as male and female. And in the
Speaker 1: female category, it feels like there's so much that you
Speaker 1: can do rightly, all these improvements. There's a mass scare
Speaker 1: for this, and there's a mass scare for that, and
Speaker 1: there's a highlighter for this, and a little letter for that.
Speaker 1: Like there's all this makeup and hair stuff, and it's
Speaker 1: just it's such a huge business and you can buy
Speaker 1: so much, and you can watch so many things that
Speaker 1: will help you, you know, on your quest to become
Speaker 1: more attractive. I think there's so many more things that
Speaker 1: you can buy and things that you can watch that
Speaker 1: are geared towards women. I think that men don't get
Speaker 1: as many things served up to them, which isn't to
Speaker 1: say that they don't deal with the same insecurities. It's
Speaker 1: just like there's there's less being sold to them in
Speaker 1: terms of making it better or feeling better.
Speaker 2: So then it.
Speaker 1: Always it seems like it pivots to like for guys,
Speaker 1: it's I feel like in the guy category. These days
Speaker 1: you hear about it's like, yeah, it's the gem or
Speaker 1: the muscles or the body or whatever. And then it's
Speaker 1: like the hair. And then I feel like I've been
Speaker 1: hearing a lot more about I don't know if it's
Speaker 1: more like like the chin situation, there's a whole line.
Speaker 3: I think it's like the filler. The filler's happening in
Speaker 3: people's jawlines where they need that, like they need that,
Speaker 3: Like really, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: I'm more of a ce.
Speaker 1: I'm more of an O.
Speaker 3: I leaned into the sea shape.
Speaker 1: By the way. Someone early days someone said that to me.
Speaker 1: Someone said that I should get my buckle fat pad removed,
Speaker 1: and I was like, what the is my buckle fat pad?
Speaker 1: And like does that thing just pop out? What happened?
Speaker 3: What do you mean? Do you get surgery?
Speaker 1: And thank god, I mean thank god I didn't, And
Speaker 1: thank god I had people around me that was like
Speaker 1: that's insane.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're still, we're around. These were the only two
Speaker 3: round to night. I'm okay with it.
Speaker 1: I'm good. So along the lines of talking about men
Speaker 1: and women that it is reported in the conversation dot
Speaker 1: com that body image issues affect close to forty percent
Speaker 1: of men, but many don't get the support that they need.
Speaker 1: It's estimated that between thirty and forty percent of men
Speaker 1: are anxious about their weight, and that up to eighty
Speaker 1: five percent are dissatisfied with their muscularity. Many men desire
Speaker 1: a lean and muscular physique. See that's what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: which is often seen as synonymous with masculinity. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: it's like guys want to be ripped and hate that
Speaker 1: though they want to be ripped with a full head
Speaker 1: of hair and a nice jaw line. And that's like
Speaker 1: three things, which I'm not taking that away. It's three things, right,
Speaker 1: And I think women it's like, oh my gosh, go
Speaker 1: down the.
Speaker 3: List and then and then and then.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, so many things. And I think that, you know,
Speaker 1: and I think that again. We're going back to social media, right,
Speaker 1: it's comparison. Comparison in Front of Mine says comparison is
Speaker 1: a thief of joy. It's true. Whenever you compare yourself
Speaker 1: to someone else, you know, it takes it sucks to
Speaker 1: your joy right out. You're always going to think someone's
Speaker 1: got something better, whatever it is. And social media is
Speaker 1: obviously the most fertile ground for that. All you have
Speaker 1: to do is you go on any at any time
Speaker 1: and you're going to see someone who has something more
Speaker 1: than you do in some direction that you wish you
Speaker 1: had it, and then you walk away feeling less then.
Speaker 1: And that's what a lot of people are doing. And
Speaker 1: it kind of doesn't even matter what their age is, right,
Speaker 1: They're going on there and they're seeing that there's something better,
Speaker 1: something they don't have, and it makes you feel less then,
Speaker 1: And it's really a it's a big it's really bummer.
Speaker 3: It's interesting because I'm thinking, as you're talking about this,
Speaker 3: I'm thinking, Okay, if I had the perfect body, right,
Speaker 3: the perfect body I think is potentially the esthetic for
Speaker 3: the perfect body, what difference in my day to day
Speaker 3: would it honestly make? What would it actually like? Give
Speaker 3: me right, I'm still doing a school drop off. Does
Speaker 3: the perfect like the perfect body is not making a
Speaker 3: difference there. I'm gonna go get my coffee. It's not
Speaker 3: really affecting my day there either, we go to dinner.
Speaker 3: Maybe I'm wearing a shorter crop top.
Speaker 2: I don't know. That's the extent, is what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying. What is it really, How is
Speaker 3: it really going to affect your day if you have
Speaker 3: the prefer if you have the perfect face that you've
Speaker 3: decided that you have, does it really is it really
Speaker 3: actually gonna affect your day if you if you have it?
Speaker 3: Because I feel like it won't.
Speaker 1: Okay, So I understand what you're saying. I think that
Speaker 1: I believe that your mindset about what you have is
Speaker 1: the most important thing. So yes, if your mindset is
Speaker 1: I have the perfect body for me, I feel great
Speaker 1: about my body. It's and everyone's again, everyone's idea is different.
Speaker 1: You know, my body can run two miles without breaking
Speaker 1: a sweat. That's really important to me. And so I
Speaker 1: have that, and then my mindset's going to be great.
Speaker 1: And it doesn't really matter what it looks like, it's
Speaker 1: how I feel about it. Right. So I think that
Speaker 1: the journey, or like the Promised Land, is getting to
Speaker 1: the place where whatever it is that you have you
Speaker 1: feel great about because that will just make your kid
Speaker 1: drop off and your coffee later and your dinner later
Speaker 1: better because you're not weighed down by this idea that
Speaker 1: you need to be anything other than what you are.
Speaker 1: You're happy with what you are, You're content, You can
Speaker 1: focus on other things. You can listen to the conversation,
Speaker 1: you can listen to the words of the person sitting
Speaker 1: across from you at dinner, because you're not fixating or
Speaker 1: thinking about something that you don't have, that you didn't
Speaker 1: get right.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think that's the waste of time. I
Speaker 1: think that's the the I think that's.
Speaker 3: What I'm getting at. Like, I think I'm getting at
Speaker 3: the idea of what you could be. What would it
Speaker 3: really bring you if you were that, Like if we
Speaker 3: were just if we end up being happy with ourselves,
Speaker 3: that's it. That's awesome. It's not really gonna affect my life.
Speaker 1: She goes some questions.
Speaker 3: Yeah, let's do some questions.
Speaker 1: So Matthew writes in I'm going to be blunt. I'm
Speaker 1: a thirty two year old man and I'm already losing
Speaker 1: my hair. I am on every dating app and I
Speaker 1: wear a hat in all my profile photos when I
Speaker 1: meet up for a date with a woman. She thinks
Speaker 1: I'm catfishing when I show up with my bald head,
Speaker 1: but no one will swipe right if I show them
Speaker 1: that I am balding. I feel frustrated.
Speaker 3: Any advice, well, First off, I disagree that no one
Speaker 3: will swipe right.
Speaker 1: Yes, I agree with you.
Speaker 3: So I think that if you love wearing a hat,
Speaker 3: you feel like you look cute and hat, have some
Speaker 3: hat pictures, but have some pictures where you're not wearing
Speaker 3: a hat too, not to not to not catfish people,
Speaker 3: but because that's what you look like. And there's gonna
Speaker 3: be women that don't think that you're a little hotty hottie.
Speaker 3: There's so many hot men with no hair. Yep, hello
Speaker 3: Jason Statham, right the Rock Yeah, Stanley Tucci. Yeah, there's
Speaker 3: a million guys with no I do not think for
Speaker 3: one second that being bald makes you not attractive. There
Speaker 3: are women out there that are definitely attracted to bald men,
Speaker 3: So I say rocket.
Speaker 1: I also like your idea of the meeting it halfway,
Speaker 1: which is, if you think you look cute and a hat,
Speaker 1: wear a hat in a couple of pictures. Right, Like,
Speaker 1: there's there's a lot of pictures up there, and if
Speaker 1: you have to pick up, if you have to pick
Speaker 1: one for your profile, then fine, pick the one that
Speaker 1: you think is the cutest, but then add in some
Speaker 1: more where it's all.
Speaker 3: Of you exactly. Yes, love that Matthew, You're gonna You're
Speaker 3: gonna find the right person for you.
Speaker 1: The wipe rights are coming.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the swipe rights are coming. Okay, very excited. We
Speaker 3: have a bus male to less and I've been going
Speaker 3: to your singing coach. Just just these moments. Just kidding, Okay, Okay,
Speaker 3: let's play it. This is from Parker, Hey.
Speaker 4: Milan, Jessica. My name is Parker. First, I'm loving the pod.
Speaker 4: It's amazing. And second, I was just wondering if you'll
Speaker 4: have any you know, words of encouragement or advice on
Speaker 4: dealing with beauty standards, specifically postpartum era. I'm a new
Speaker 4: Ish mom. My daughter's almost seventeen months, and you know,
Speaker 4: I'm just always comparing myself to other moms on social
Speaker 4: media or even just friends who just seem to kind
Speaker 4: of bounce back quicker than I have, if that makes sense.
Speaker 3: Anyways, I would just love you here to love to
Speaker 3: hear your.
Speaker 4: Thoughts on this as some other mamas. All right, thanks,
Speaker 4: I love you guys.
Speaker 1: Bye.
Speaker 3: I know I keep saying it. I love hearing the
Speaker 3: cruise voice.
Speaker 1: Yeah I do too, I love it. Oh my gosh, Parker,
Speaker 1: I've been there and also congratulations.
Speaker 3: Because you're a baby.
Speaker 2: I know, seventeen months. That's cute.
Speaker 3: First off, seventeen months, you just say birth, it's seventeen months.
Speaker 1: Be kind to yourself. Everybody is different.
Speaker 3: Here's what I think. Do yourself a favor first of all,
Speaker 3: and unfollow all the accounts that are like this is
Speaker 3: me and two days after our baby and I have abs.
Speaker 3: Just for now, Okay, you can always refollow them if
Speaker 3: you love them. For now, we're gonna mute those accounts.
Speaker 3: Find accounts that you feel are like more your vibe,
Speaker 3: not making you feel like when you look at them,
Speaker 3: and bring it.
Speaker 2: Because I know that as.
Speaker 3: Moms, we are scrolling through our phone and we're feeding
Speaker 3: all these images into our brains and they don't. It
Speaker 3: doesn't help. So I think, just literally, like, I know
Speaker 3: it's hard to log off, So I'm not saying log off.
Speaker 3: I'm saying, log off of those accounts and follow accounts
Speaker 3: that you feel are where more you're at. It's really
Speaker 3: hard to say, like, don't feel the pressure, because we
Speaker 3: all feel that pressure. It's so annoying. I have to
Speaker 3: say I did not bounce back.
Speaker 1: So here's what I feel. I completely agree with Camilla.
Speaker 1: I think anybody that doesn't make you feel fantastic, you
Speaker 1: can absolutely mute. I do it all the time, and
Speaker 1: then I absolutely revisit it again and go back and
Speaker 1: go right back to it. But if it's hitting you
Speaker 1: in a certain way for this period of time in
Speaker 1: your life, then so be it. So take a little
Speaker 1: pressure off yourself, and I don't know, you know, do
Speaker 1: what you need to do and be with that little baby.
Speaker 1: It's the most important part. And a lot of times
Speaker 1: when you take your like the pressure off it, you'll
Speaker 1: get to where you want to get to a little easier.
Speaker 1: It's just like, sometimes this is too much pressure.
Speaker 3: Basically, long story short here, Ladies like you just did
Speaker 3: something incredible and I feel you. I there wasn't the
Speaker 3: bounce back never happened for me, and that's fine. I
Speaker 3: don't care. I've moved on, and I think that there
Speaker 3: are so many women listening that feel the exact same way.
Speaker 3: Didn't bounce back. You haven't jumped, you know, haven't regotten
Speaker 3: a six pack or found you know, didn't lose all
Speaker 3: the weight by you know, breastfeeding. You also hear that too,
Speaker 3: you lose all the weight by breast breastfeeding So I
Speaker 3: was on the couch breastfeeding, being like, wow, is this like,
Speaker 3: you know, me doing you know what?
Speaker 2: Is it CrossFit?
Speaker 3: It's basically me doing CrossFit on the couch while I'm breastfeeding.
Speaker 3: It was a lie for me. I didn't lose a
Speaker 3: single pound breastfeeding. It's all good, you guys, it's all good.
Speaker 3: I want the crew to know, you're can gorgeous.
Speaker 1: Agree. Agree. So I think that this was just a
Speaker 1: nice little, you know, catch up stroll down memory lane,
Speaker 1: an examination of how we were put together and what
Speaker 1: we what we come to aspire to.
Speaker 2: And I think that now.
Speaker 3: We can call it the end of the episode.