1 00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:06,360 Speaker 1: Conversations on life, style, beauty, and relationships. It's The Velvet's 2 00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:08,200 Speaker 1: Edge Podcast with Kelly Henderson. 3 00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:16,239 Speaker 2: Brittany Tiper is a somatic experiencing practitioner. She has a 4 00:00:16,239 --> 00:00:19,320 Speaker 2: new book coming out, Body First Healing, a revolutionary guide 5 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:23,799 Speaker 2: to nervous system recovery. Hi Brittany, Hi, Hi, thank you 6 00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:24,919 Speaker 2: so much for being here. 7 00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:26,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you. 8 00:00:26,520 --> 00:00:28,159 Speaker 2: We were talking a little bit before. I told you. 9 00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:31,880 Speaker 2: My listeners are very accustomed to the trauma conversation. But 10 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:34,280 Speaker 2: I love what you're doing and what you're talking about 11 00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:36,320 Speaker 2: in this book because I do think it's really helpful 12 00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:39,760 Speaker 2: to break down what trauma is, how it happens, and 13 00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:42,239 Speaker 2: then what it can look like in your life, and 14 00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:44,479 Speaker 2: then how to kind of deal with that, because I 15 00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:47,200 Speaker 2: know one of your biggest points is that talk therapy 16 00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:50,879 Speaker 2: sometimes just isn't enough when you're dealing with intense trauma. 17 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:54,280 Speaker 2: So I wanted to start by just maybe telling listeners, 18 00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:56,480 Speaker 2: like one of the questions I get asked by people 19 00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:58,920 Speaker 2: a lot is, well, how do I know if this 20 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:02,080 Speaker 2: is a traumatic of event or if I'm just going 21 00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:04,640 Speaker 2: through a hard time, Like, how do we differentiate those 22 00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:05,240 Speaker 2: two things? 23 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:09,400 Speaker 3: So, working in the somatic world, you know soma means 24 00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:12,320 Speaker 3: of the body, so we focus a lot on healing 25 00:01:12,360 --> 00:01:17,920 Speaker 3: trauma through body and more specifically, though in sematic experiencing, 26 00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:22,040 Speaker 3: we really focus on the nervous system. So our definition 27 00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:26,200 Speaker 3: of trauma is that it's any event or experience that 28 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:30,880 Speaker 3: overwhelms the nervous system's capacity to cope. And when that happens, 29 00:01:30,959 --> 00:01:34,840 Speaker 3: you can get, you know, seemingly stuck in a survival response, 30 00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:39,919 Speaker 3: so fight, flight, shut down, freeze, fawn, and functional freeze. 31 00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:43,319 Speaker 3: And I use analogies a lot just as a way 32 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:46,160 Speaker 3: to really simplify this work. So I always tell people 33 00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:49,080 Speaker 3: imagine that it's like armor that your nervous system puts on. 34 00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:51,080 Speaker 3: It's like, Okay, we're going to armor up to protect 35 00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:55,480 Speaker 3: you from this event, this experience. But what can happen 36 00:01:55,560 --> 00:01:57,720 Speaker 3: is that it turns into like this night suit of 37 00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:00,559 Speaker 3: armor and it stays on even after after the event 38 00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:03,080 Speaker 3: or the experience is over. And that's usually due to 39 00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:06,559 Speaker 3: a lack of safety following the event or the experience, 40 00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:10,280 Speaker 3: or because your nervous system isn't quite developed enough yet 41 00:02:10,639 --> 00:02:12,920 Speaker 3: to be able to come back to safety, back to 42 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:17,200 Speaker 3: baseline and regulation. And that's where a lot of developmental trauma, 43 00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:19,440 Speaker 3: you know, kind of occurs, and so then we get 44 00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:21,799 Speaker 3: kind of stuck carrying around and wearing this like night 45 00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:24,399 Speaker 3: suit of armor that starts. You know, at one point 46 00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:27,240 Speaker 3: it was self protective, but now it feels self sabotaging. 47 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:29,120 Speaker 3: It's getting in the way of our life. It's heavy, 48 00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:32,120 Speaker 3: it's annoying, it doesn't feel like us. We start to 49 00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:35,280 Speaker 3: lose sight of who we are. And so I think 50 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:38,160 Speaker 3: back to your question, what is trauma. It's gonna be 51 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:42,720 Speaker 3: so relative to the nervous system that it happens too. 52 00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:45,880 Speaker 3: And I can give an example, and I share this 53 00:02:45,919 --> 00:02:48,040 Speaker 3: example in the book. So let's say that you got 54 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:51,520 Speaker 3: Freddy and Johnny right. They're neighbors, they're eight years old, 55 00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:53,959 Speaker 3: they live on the same street, they go to the 56 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:58,000 Speaker 3: same school. Freddy comes from a house where caregivers are present. 57 00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:01,520 Speaker 3: They're really attuned to his need. They also have regulated 58 00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:05,200 Speaker 3: nervous systems, so they welcome and discomfort. They allow for 59 00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:08,560 Speaker 3: emotional expression, and it just feels like a safe environment 60 00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:12,720 Speaker 3: for him to be himself, to express. Whereas Johnny, on 61 00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:15,520 Speaker 3: the other hand, he comes from an environment where one 62 00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:18,399 Speaker 3: of the caregivers is maybe not around because they are 63 00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:22,320 Speaker 3: working all the time, or you know, maybe there's there's separation, 64 00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:24,960 Speaker 3: whatever that is. And then the other caregiver, who is 65 00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:28,359 Speaker 3: physically present, is not mentally or emotionally present. Maybe they're 66 00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:31,280 Speaker 3: dealing with substance abuse or you know, something like that, 67 00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:34,560 Speaker 3: and so they're not regulated in their system, which doesn't 68 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:38,400 Speaker 3: allow for his nervous system to really like regulate into 69 00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:40,920 Speaker 3: that safety. So it feels like a really tense environment. 70 00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:46,360 Speaker 3: He can't express himself authentically. And so anyways, these two kiddos, 71 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,760 Speaker 3: they go to school one day, they get bullied in 72 00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:51,880 Speaker 3: the same way by the same bully on the bus, 73 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:55,680 Speaker 3: same word said, same punch is thrown, and they're both 74 00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:58,720 Speaker 3: obviously armored up right, they're like kind of shocked, Oh 75 00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:03,160 Speaker 3: my gosh, what just happened. So Freddy goes home or Johnny, 76 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:06,320 Speaker 3: I can't remember. Freddie goes home to an environment that 77 00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:09,760 Speaker 3: feels supportive. Both caregivers are there, They listen to them, 78 00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:14,360 Speaker 3: They help him regulate by they loan him their calm 79 00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:16,839 Speaker 3: and regulated nervous system so that he can start to 80 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:19,760 Speaker 3: take that armor off. They listen to him, they allow 81 00:04:19,839 --> 00:04:22,000 Speaker 3: him to express whatever he's feeling. And then they say, 82 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,520 Speaker 3: we're going to go to the principal tomorrow, we're going 83 00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:26,559 Speaker 3: to make sure this never happens again. He feels safe 84 00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:30,920 Speaker 3: enough to remove the armor, whereas the other child goes 85 00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:34,000 Speaker 3: home to an environment where one parent's gone again and 86 00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:36,080 Speaker 3: the other one is asleep on the couch, passed out. 87 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:38,680 Speaker 3: And when he goes to wake up that parent, they're 88 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:41,400 Speaker 3: clearly impered or intoxicated, and they yell at him and 89 00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:43,200 Speaker 3: they scold him, and they say, I don't have time 90 00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:44,800 Speaker 3: to deal with your stuff. Go to your room and 91 00:04:44,839 --> 00:04:47,400 Speaker 3: deal with it on your own. And so he remains 92 00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:50,560 Speaker 3: armored up. And so what you have here, and this 93 00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:53,120 Speaker 3: is where I don't love using the terminology of big 94 00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:57,760 Speaker 3: tea little ta trauma. Yeah, is you know Freddy or Johnny, 95 00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:00,640 Speaker 3: whichever one I mentioned, who goes home to the safe environment, 96 00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:02,520 Speaker 3: He might look back at this moment as like a 97 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:05,400 Speaker 3: blip in the radar, whereas the other will look back 98 00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:08,400 Speaker 3: as this was a traumatic moment in my life. And 99 00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:12,080 Speaker 3: so really, what we often say is that trauma is 100 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:15,400 Speaker 3: not found in the story or the event. It's found 101 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:18,640 Speaker 3: in the nervous system and the nervous system's ability to 102 00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:21,279 Speaker 3: move through that or not move through that. 103 00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:24,680 Speaker 2: Okay, that makes so much sense to me. And I 104 00:05:24,720 --> 00:05:28,559 Speaker 2: love the example of the two different situations but going 105 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:32,120 Speaker 2: through the same experience, because I've found often in life 106 00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:35,680 Speaker 2: that I'll look at two people and they'll go through 107 00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:40,120 Speaker 2: the same situation and they have completely different reactions or responses. 108 00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:45,200 Speaker 2: One person it completely derails, and the other person seems like, wait, 109 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:47,520 Speaker 2: that wasn't that big of a deal, So why is 110 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:48,920 Speaker 2: this impacting. 111 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:49,120 Speaker 3: You so much? 112 00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:52,640 Speaker 2: Over time? Does that build up or can that build 113 00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:55,840 Speaker 2: up within our nervous system to then make things that 114 00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:59,880 Speaker 2: happen later more impactful if maybe we'd didn't have all 115 00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:00,960 Speaker 2: that things built up. 116 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:05,160 Speaker 3: When your nervous system goes into a survival response, which 117 00:06:05,279 --> 00:06:08,560 Speaker 3: is those those states that I listed fight, flight, shut down, 118 00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:11,320 Speaker 3: and so on, there's something that happens within the body, 119 00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:15,080 Speaker 3: within your physiology. So adrenalin in cortisol is released into 120 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:18,360 Speaker 3: the body to mobilize you. These are your mobilizing stress 121 00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:22,039 Speaker 3: hormones to mobilize you to fight or flee. And what 122 00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:25,000 Speaker 3: happens is if fighting or fleeing is not an option 123 00:06:25,839 --> 00:06:30,320 Speaker 3: or from an emotional perspective, we don't allow anger, which 124 00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:34,160 Speaker 3: is our fight emotional response, or we don't allow fear 125 00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:37,960 Speaker 3: and anxiety and worry, which is the flight emotional response. 126 00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:41,600 Speaker 3: If we push those down, then what happens is that 127 00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:44,840 Speaker 3: adrenaline in cortisol gets suppressed or essentially what we call 128 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:49,640 Speaker 3: stuck within the system, and over time, those stress hormones 129 00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:52,919 Speaker 3: that the body is only built to metabolize through short 130 00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:56,080 Speaker 3: periods of time, when they get stuck, it turns into 131 00:06:56,160 --> 00:07:01,000 Speaker 3: chronic stress, which then turns into yeah, then chron mental, physical, 132 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:05,240 Speaker 3: emotional health problems. But again another analogy. I love analogies. 133 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:08,400 Speaker 3: You can think of like a pressure cooker, and what 134 00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:11,120 Speaker 3: you're talking about here is like you have this pressure 135 00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:14,560 Speaker 3: cooker of stress hormones and survival hormones that have been 136 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:18,720 Speaker 3: built up over time. We call this allostatic load. And 137 00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:21,880 Speaker 3: if we haven't had the opportunity or the chance to 138 00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:26,520 Speaker 3: really process those experiences and to remove or express or 139 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:29,880 Speaker 3: what we call discharge that adrenaline cortisol from the body, 140 00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:33,320 Speaker 3: then what happens is the smallest things, because our pressure 141 00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:37,080 Speaker 3: cooker is so full, are going to really activate us 142 00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:40,120 Speaker 3: and can feel more intense. And so that's like, you know, 143 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:43,440 Speaker 3: the pressure cooker either explodes, which is like now we're 144 00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:46,600 Speaker 3: lashing out at people, we have rage, we're violent, we're 145 00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:50,560 Speaker 3: angry all the time and we're just irritated by life, 146 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:54,160 Speaker 3: or we explode in the sense of flight, which is 147 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:59,200 Speaker 3: like panic attacks, worry anxiety attacks. So we either explode 148 00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:02,840 Speaker 3: or we plode. And fload is more of that shutdown 149 00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:06,360 Speaker 3: or that freeze response, where now we're in depression, we're 150 00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:09,480 Speaker 3: in chronic fatigue, we're in burnout. And so I see 151 00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:11,960 Speaker 3: both of those in my practice, and that's usually the 152 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:17,240 Speaker 3: accumulation of stress, chronic stress from usually unresolved trauma that's 153 00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:18,200 Speaker 3: built up over time. 154 00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:22,040 Speaker 2: It also would make sense to me why we saw 155 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:26,080 Speaker 2: so much start happening maybe externally as far as people 156 00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:31,320 Speaker 2: fighting or losing it or mental health breakdowns after the pandemic, 157 00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:34,360 Speaker 2: because it was almost like we were all collectively going 158 00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:38,319 Speaker 2: through something traumatic and so then anything additional maybe sent 159 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:41,359 Speaker 2: us into the exact place that you're talking about exactly. 160 00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:43,080 Speaker 3: It was like that for a lot of people. It 161 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:45,600 Speaker 3: was a straw that broke the camel's back. And you know, 162 00:08:45,679 --> 00:08:48,960 Speaker 3: in my book The Body First Healing, there's a big 163 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:51,480 Speaker 3: old chunk that talks about the pandemic and how I 164 00:08:51,559 --> 00:08:53,800 Speaker 3: really think, Yeah, how I feel like that was kind 165 00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:56,640 Speaker 3: of an awakening for a lot of people because we've 166 00:08:56,679 --> 00:08:59,880 Speaker 3: gotten so so good in our very modern world, you know, 167 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:03,960 Speaker 3: fast paced modern world of being really detached from anything 168 00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:08,600 Speaker 3: necked down yep, And we have all of these wonderful 169 00:09:08,679 --> 00:09:11,160 Speaker 3: behaviors in these you know, I'm gonna use air quotes 170 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:16,640 Speaker 3: trauma responses of you know, overworking, overachieving, avoiding, running away, 171 00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:20,680 Speaker 3: you know, fawning people, pleasing, and so these are great 172 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:24,920 Speaker 3: distractions from trauma. But really it is is it's just 173 00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:29,839 Speaker 3: stress being dressed up in a different way and used 174 00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:32,200 Speaker 3: in a different way. But it's these states, the same 175 00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:35,640 Speaker 3: stress hormones of adrenaline and cortisol. They're just seeking and 176 00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:39,680 Speaker 3: trying to find someplace to you know, be be experienced. 177 00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:42,680 Speaker 3: And so people had to sit in isolation and I 178 00:09:42,679 --> 00:09:46,800 Speaker 3: feel like, come face to face and quarantine with their pain, 179 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:49,240 Speaker 3: like there's nothing you can do to run from this now. 180 00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:53,200 Speaker 2: So and you're not getting the validation because the things 181 00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:57,400 Speaker 2: you described are so praised in our society, and so 182 00:09:57,520 --> 00:10:01,439 Speaker 2: you wouldn't necessarily associate that with stress or trauma or 183 00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:03,959 Speaker 2: anything bad, even if that's what your body was feeling. 184 00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:07,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly. And I share a lot about this nervous 185 00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:11,440 Speaker 3: system state called functional freeze. It's a blended state. I 186 00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:13,959 Speaker 3: feel like a lot of us are experiencing this right now. 187 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:16,800 Speaker 3: But you know, the nervous system has a couple of 188 00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:20,080 Speaker 3: different primary states. So that is, you know, your rest 189 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,720 Speaker 3: and digest, which is what we call ventral. And I 190 00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:26,480 Speaker 3: always like using the nervous system ladder for people to visualize. 191 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:29,880 Speaker 3: I am a somatic experiencing practitioner, but I'm trained in 192 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:31,719 Speaker 3: a lot of other modalities as well, and one of 193 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:35,760 Speaker 3: them is called Polyvagel theory, and so that's the newest 194 00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:39,000 Speaker 3: kind of the upgraded science of the nervous system. But 195 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:43,120 Speaker 3: porgis Stephen Porges who developed the theory. He created something 196 00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:46,319 Speaker 3: called the Polyvagel or the nervous system ladder, to illustrate 197 00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:48,680 Speaker 3: what the nervous system looks like. So it's a ladder 198 00:10:48,679 --> 00:10:51,760 Speaker 3: with three sections. So at the top, you're like in 199 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:54,560 Speaker 3: rest and digest, which is what we call ventral, your 200 00:10:54,640 --> 00:10:57,760 Speaker 3: ventral bag state. It's your state of safety and connection. 201 00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:02,439 Speaker 3: But when you're activated in other words, triggered. Okay, when 202 00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:05,040 Speaker 3: our system is triggered or activated, we come down that 203 00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:08,520 Speaker 3: ladder and in the middle that section is fight or flight. 204 00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:12,280 Speaker 3: That's your sympathetic response. This is where the adrenaline cortisol 205 00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:15,480 Speaker 3: comes into the body. And if fighting or fleeing again 206 00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:18,800 Speaker 3: isn't an option, or we suppress the anger and fear, 207 00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:21,560 Speaker 3: which you're really good at, then we end up at 208 00:11:21,559 --> 00:11:24,280 Speaker 3: the bottom of the ladder, which is our dorsal vagel state, 209 00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:27,760 Speaker 3: otherwise known as shut down. It's kind of like freeze, 210 00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:30,960 Speaker 3: but freeze is more funded state. But it's important to 211 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:33,079 Speaker 3: know that again, just like that pressure cooker, when you're 212 00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:35,960 Speaker 3: down in dorsal, which is not your state of mobilization, 213 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:39,600 Speaker 3: this is your state of immobilization, you still have all 214 00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:42,160 Speaker 3: that adrenaline cord is al still trapped within the system. 215 00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:46,160 Speaker 3: So to come back up into regulation, you have to 216 00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:49,200 Speaker 3: move back up through fight or flight to discharge that. 217 00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:52,400 Speaker 3: And I also want to add people would assume that 218 00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:54,800 Speaker 3: regulation means being at the top of the ladder all 219 00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:58,800 Speaker 3: day long, but regulation is actually like a healthy bio 220 00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:00,880 Speaker 3: rhythm is being able to go up and down that 221 00:12:00,960 --> 00:12:06,400 Speaker 3: ladder roughly one hundred times a day, a hundred times yep, yep. 222 00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:09,760 Speaker 3: So even like stressful moments like yeah, and it can 223 00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:12,520 Speaker 3: be micro moments. So for instance, when you and I 224 00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:14,880 Speaker 3: were getting on and you were pulling up your notes 225 00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:17,400 Speaker 3: and then yeah, I was rushing to put on some 226 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:18,920 Speaker 3: lip cloths and I'm like, oh my gosh, I have 227 00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:23,120 Speaker 3: to brush my hair. Yeah, I was experiencing stress and activation. Right, 228 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:26,520 Speaker 3: So these are little moments that we don't notice. Some 229 00:12:26,559 --> 00:12:28,840 Speaker 3: of them are you know, think of like like waves. 230 00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:30,480 Speaker 3: Some of them are small, and then some of them 231 00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:34,520 Speaker 3: are bigger. So anyways, regulation is not staying at the top. 232 00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:37,239 Speaker 3: A regulated nervous system was what we call a flexible 233 00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:40,120 Speaker 3: nervous system, one that moves up and down the ladder 234 00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:43,320 Speaker 3: with fluidity. The reason I'm sharing this is because I 235 00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:45,800 Speaker 3: feel like it just gives a really good visualization for 236 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:49,200 Speaker 3: you know, the nervous system. But also this functional free 237 00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:52,200 Speaker 3: state that we're talking about isn't one of those primary 238 00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:54,319 Speaker 3: states on the ladder. It is what we call a 239 00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:57,560 Speaker 3: blended state, so it's a mixed state of a little 240 00:12:57,559 --> 00:12:59,400 Speaker 3: bit of this and a little bit of that. So 241 00:12:59,559 --> 00:13:03,480 Speaker 3: function freeze is a little bit of flight. So we 242 00:13:03,559 --> 00:13:08,280 Speaker 3: have that flight response, right, adrenaline, cortisol, mobilizing. Usually there's 243 00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:12,920 Speaker 3: maybe fear anxiety, but there's also a freeze. There's a 244 00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:15,679 Speaker 3: bit of a shut down response. And so what we 245 00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:18,760 Speaker 3: can think of as the functional free state is going 246 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:21,000 Speaker 3: through the motions without emotion. 247 00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:24,200 Speaker 2: Oh okay, Yeah, And as. 248 00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:26,400 Speaker 3: You were saying, what it looks like on the outside 249 00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:30,040 Speaker 3: is like wow, like they're just strong, or like they just. 250 00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:30,920 Speaker 2: Handling all that. 251 00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:34,679 Speaker 3: Yeah, they handle it so well, or they're so right now, 252 00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:38,920 Speaker 3: what is it? Like? Hashtag unbothered they're so unbothered by things. 253 00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:43,640 Speaker 3: But it's really just a defense mechanism of shutting down 254 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:47,520 Speaker 3: or dissociating from the somatic parts of us our emotions, 255 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:50,640 Speaker 3: our sensations, our feelings, and so part of us still 256 00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:53,040 Speaker 3: kind of stays tethered down in the bottom parts of 257 00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:55,920 Speaker 3: that that ladder. And that also means that we might 258 00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:59,480 Speaker 3: show up in relationships with very little emotion or have 259 00:13:59,559 --> 00:14:03,160 Speaker 3: a hard I'm handling other people's emotions. But that also 260 00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:05,880 Speaker 3: means that we are dimming down the emotions that feel 261 00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:08,040 Speaker 3: good too, you know, so like we're kind of just 262 00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:12,000 Speaker 3: on autopilot and we're not really living. We really are 263 00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:14,200 Speaker 3: just surviving. So I think a lot of people are 264 00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:17,400 Speaker 3: there right now without maybe even even recognizing it. 265 00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:21,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, as you just said, the part about not experiencing 266 00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:24,040 Speaker 2: the good feelings too, I could immediately think of so 267 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:27,040 Speaker 2: many situations where I was seeing that where you're going, 268 00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:29,280 Speaker 2: How have you gone through all this stuff and so 269 00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:33,240 Speaker 2: such a short amount of time and you're still alive 270 00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:37,480 Speaker 2: and functioning. But like you said, maybe they're not happy 271 00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:40,280 Speaker 2: or even presenting happy. It's almost like a going through 272 00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:44,160 Speaker 2: the motions kind of thing. Yeah, and it looks like, Wow, 273 00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:47,240 Speaker 2: that's kind of crazy, and that's impressive. But ultimately, if 274 00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:51,800 Speaker 2: you really kind of analyze what's happening, it's not happiness. 275 00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:56,320 Speaker 2: It's not joy, it's not ease or comfort. I'm curious 276 00:14:56,360 --> 00:14:59,480 Speaker 2: if we are suppressing all that cortisol but it's still 277 00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:03,880 Speaker 2: in our box bodies, what does that end that manifesting into, 278 00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:06,000 Speaker 2: Like it can't it has to do something right if 279 00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:07,400 Speaker 2: it's still sitting in your body. 280 00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:12,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, there is a very very very strong correlation between 281 00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:26,960 Speaker 3: emotional suppression and disease and illness. There is a very 282 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:34,480 Speaker 3: very very strong correlation between emotional suppression and disease and illness. Okay, 283 00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:38,360 Speaker 3: so the adrenaline cortisol is still it's still there and 284 00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:40,680 Speaker 3: it's still being used, and you can see this show 285 00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:43,520 Speaker 3: up in the body, in our musculo skeletal system, you 286 00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:45,960 Speaker 3: can see it in our viscera, in our joints, in 287 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:50,480 Speaker 3: our fluid system. It affects our endocrine system, our hormones, 288 00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:55,880 Speaker 3: our cardiovascular system. Right, So you'll notice that when someone 289 00:15:56,080 --> 00:16:02,080 Speaker 3: has increased chronic stress, they usually have increase inflammation. How 290 00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:04,320 Speaker 3: that show ups in the viscera is I might have 291 00:16:04,440 --> 00:16:08,600 Speaker 3: digestive issues, ibs, gut issues. How that shows up in 292 00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:11,440 Speaker 3: the body and the musculoskeletal system is they might have 293 00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:17,600 Speaker 3: chronic pain and certain pain points so TMJ migrains, shoulder tension, 294 00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:22,520 Speaker 3: back pain. You might notice that from an emotional perspective, 295 00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:27,240 Speaker 3: this shows up as anxiety depression, you know, OCD, phobias, 296 00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:31,120 Speaker 3: and there's some of the research out there is you know, 297 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:35,120 Speaker 3: autoimmune disease. So, for instance, when you're in this place 298 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:38,120 Speaker 3: of chronic survival, all of those other kind of organ 299 00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:41,600 Speaker 3: systems that I just talked about and then some they're 300 00:16:41,640 --> 00:16:47,000 Speaker 3: all put on the back burner because survival is most important, right, 301 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:51,760 Speaker 3: And so everything gets disrupted and everything is governed by 302 00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:53,840 Speaker 3: the state of the nervous system. If we're in a 303 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:56,280 Speaker 3: state of rest and digest if we're in a state 304 00:16:56,320 --> 00:17:00,560 Speaker 3: of presence and safety and connection, then every kind of 305 00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:04,280 Speaker 3: operates fine, and the nervous system operates from the brain stem, 306 00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:07,520 Speaker 3: which governs which is you know, the neck and the 307 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:09,840 Speaker 3: cerebellum here at the bottom of the brain. But this 308 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:13,320 Speaker 3: is like the orchestrator of the body. So when the 309 00:17:13,359 --> 00:17:16,920 Speaker 3: nervous system, though, is in survival mode, everything about those 310 00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:21,080 Speaker 3: systems I talked about changes. So our heart rate is different. 311 00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:24,280 Speaker 3: Our blood motility, for instance, is different. So like when 312 00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:26,280 Speaker 3: we're in a state of rest and digest we have 313 00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:30,119 Speaker 3: a regular regulated circulation, but when we go into a 314 00:17:30,119 --> 00:17:34,200 Speaker 3: fight or flight response, our blood motility goes to our limbs. 315 00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:37,520 Speaker 3: And that's why we feel when we're anxious that we're 316 00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:40,320 Speaker 3: like really fidgety, or we're moving around all we're eating, 317 00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:44,120 Speaker 3: we're hot, or we're sweating. When we go into shut down, 318 00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:47,680 Speaker 3: it goes opposite. So the blood motility and circulation gets 319 00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:51,000 Speaker 3: we're kind of in a hibernation state, so that goes 320 00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:53,000 Speaker 3: to the core and that's why we have very little 321 00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:56,400 Speaker 3: circulation and we're cold, you know, when we're in these states. 322 00:17:56,840 --> 00:18:01,879 Speaker 3: So anyways, it increases our likelihood or you know, cardiovascular 323 00:18:02,119 --> 00:18:05,520 Speaker 3: autoimmune diseases, and a lot of that is because again 324 00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:10,000 Speaker 3: the body is working in priority for survival, not in 325 00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:15,120 Speaker 3: priority of rest and recover and you know homeostasis if 326 00:18:15,119 --> 00:18:15,440 Speaker 3: you will. 327 00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:17,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I think we're getting a picture of some 328 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:20,439 Speaker 2: of the work and in what the topics of this 329 00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:22,240 Speaker 2: book are about. And I want to dive into more 330 00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:23,639 Speaker 2: of that in a minute, but I want to give 331 00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:25,840 Speaker 2: the listeners a little bit of a backstory of you, 332 00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:29,240 Speaker 2: because I know you're not just a practitioner of these things, 333 00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:32,639 Speaker 2: you've actually lived them yourself. Can you talk through a 334 00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:35,840 Speaker 2: little bit about just what your life looked like that 335 00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:39,160 Speaker 2: led you to the understanding of like, talk therapy isn't 336 00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:40,639 Speaker 2: going to be enough for me on this one, and 337 00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:43,800 Speaker 2: I need to maybe take some different steps. Yeah. 338 00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:46,200 Speaker 3: So I didn't realize it until I got into more 339 00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:48,919 Speaker 3: somatic work, but looking back now, I know where everything 340 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,720 Speaker 3: kind of started for me. So at birth, I was 341 00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:55,040 Speaker 3: actually I was taken from my mother forcibly, taken from 342 00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:57,240 Speaker 3: my mom and put into foster care because there was 343 00:18:57,280 --> 00:19:02,960 Speaker 3: methanphetamine found in our system. And I was reunited with 344 00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:06,440 Speaker 3: her after a few months when she seemingly got her 345 00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:09,680 Speaker 3: life back on track. But that really set the foundation 346 00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:14,280 Speaker 3: for my nervous system. Sure, and when we work with sematics, 347 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:15,760 Speaker 3: you know a lot of what we're working with is 348 00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:19,560 Speaker 3: body memory. Again, it doesn't come back necessarily. Trauma isn't 349 00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:22,400 Speaker 3: found in the body, I'm sorry. In the story, It's 350 00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:25,520 Speaker 3: found in the nervous system, and that shows up in 351 00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:28,240 Speaker 3: body or what we call implicit memory. So the ways 352 00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:31,679 Speaker 3: that we contract, the ways that our muscles, you know, 353 00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:35,320 Speaker 3: kind of clench when someone gives us a certain look, 354 00:19:35,359 --> 00:19:37,399 Speaker 3: the way that we chase, the way that we run away, 355 00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:40,159 Speaker 3: the way that we shut down. This is all muscle 356 00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:42,760 Speaker 3: memory that was usually learned in our first three years 357 00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:46,800 Speaker 3: of life, and body memory starts forming at seven weeks 358 00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:49,159 Speaker 3: in the womb. And so I know that when my 359 00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:51,720 Speaker 3: mom was pregnant with me, she was going through very 360 00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:55,840 Speaker 3: traumatic time. She was homeless, living off of food stamps. 361 00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:59,600 Speaker 3: Her and my brother slept in her car, and obviously 362 00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:01,760 Speaker 3: my first few months in the world, I was separated 363 00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:04,600 Speaker 3: from her, and it was a really pivotal time, you know, 364 00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:08,240 Speaker 3: in infancy. And so anyways, that kind of started the 365 00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:13,720 Speaker 3: patterns of really intense anxiety around relationships, this fear of abandonment, 366 00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:17,199 Speaker 3: this feeling of I'm not enough of you know, feeling 367 00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:22,239 Speaker 3: of unworthiness. And I then lost my brother when we 368 00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:25,360 Speaker 3: were in high school. He was killed in a car accident. 369 00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:27,919 Speaker 3: My older brother, Dominic, and I kind of grew up 370 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:31,200 Speaker 3: in an environment where you take all the hard stuff 371 00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:33,520 Speaker 3: and you just toss it under the rug, right like 372 00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:36,000 Speaker 3: out of sight, out of mind, And we were very 373 00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:39,040 Speaker 3: much so that family that just muscled through, and you 374 00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:43,080 Speaker 3: just my mom's not a very emotional person. I know why. 375 00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:45,960 Speaker 3: I learned a lot about her and writing this book, 376 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:48,840 Speaker 3: and we had some really long, overdue but also very 377 00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:52,840 Speaker 3: healing conversations in the pursuit of creating this book. But 378 00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:56,359 Speaker 3: that was the template that was given to me, is 379 00:20:57,080 --> 00:21:00,800 Speaker 3: when times are tough, you just muscle through. And I 380 00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:04,399 Speaker 3: was very dissociated for a lot of my upbringing, didn't 381 00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:07,160 Speaker 3: really know what emotions were, didn't know how to feel them. 382 00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:11,960 Speaker 3: And then when I was twenty, I was sexually assaulted 383 00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:14,840 Speaker 3: by a stranger who helped me change my flat tire. 384 00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:18,400 Speaker 3: And I work a lot in the sexual violence prevention 385 00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:21,600 Speaker 3: space now, so I've worked with survivors for many years, 386 00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:26,000 Speaker 3: both home and abroad, And what most survivors will tell 387 00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:28,840 Speaker 3: you is that there is the trauma of the event, 388 00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:33,800 Speaker 3: and then there's also the aftermathea and for a lot 389 00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:37,439 Speaker 3: of survivors, the aftermath can sometimes be more traumatic or 390 00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:42,680 Speaker 3: more debilitating, and that was my experience. They caught this man, 391 00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:46,879 Speaker 3: they apprehended him, and after the assault, there was a 392 00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:52,600 Speaker 3: two year trial process, which was really unforgiving and horrible 393 00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:56,320 Speaker 3: to have to go through. But our trial was postponed 394 00:21:56,400 --> 00:22:01,439 Speaker 3: or continued nine times. Nine times. And that's often like 395 00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:04,560 Speaker 3: a strategy that defense teams will use when they know 396 00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:07,879 Speaker 3: that they're, you know, the perpetrator doesn't have a case 397 00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:11,560 Speaker 3: to stand on. They'll postpone as a way to like 398 00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:15,359 Speaker 3: emotionally wear down the victims so that they will drop 399 00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:19,000 Speaker 3: the charges. And because every time that happens, you essentially 400 00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:21,560 Speaker 3: have to do a dress rehearsal for trial. You know, 401 00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:24,000 Speaker 3: you don't find out usually until the day before that 402 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:26,920 Speaker 3: they're postponing, so you have to meet with your legal team. 403 00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:29,440 Speaker 3: I had to go through the depositions again. I had 404 00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:31,639 Speaker 3: to listen to my tape statements. I had to practice 405 00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:34,840 Speaker 3: being on the witness stand, which meant that like nine 406 00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:38,280 Speaker 3: times I had to relive every graphic detail of that 407 00:22:38,359 --> 00:22:42,840 Speaker 3: night and I'm even feeling my feeling, my breath, and 408 00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:45,400 Speaker 3: that was really hard. And what was interesting is that 409 00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:49,080 Speaker 3: what people saw on the outside. I remember people saying, 410 00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:52,560 Speaker 3: you're just you're really handling this so well, you know. 411 00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:57,360 Speaker 3: And even after he was sentenced, the trial finally happened, 412 00:22:57,400 --> 00:23:01,000 Speaker 3: he was sentenced to sixty years behind bar. Yes, And 413 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:03,879 Speaker 3: I remember the day after the trial watching on the news, 414 00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:08,240 Speaker 3: the news anchors talking at the newsdesk about my case, 415 00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:11,040 Speaker 3: and one anchor said to another, he said, twenty years 416 00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:13,439 Speaker 3: of covering court trials, I've never seen a rape victim 417 00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:17,840 Speaker 3: who was this poist, this composed who was able to 418 00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:20,119 Speaker 3: look her rapist in the eye and said you did this, 419 00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:22,960 Speaker 3: and you're going to pay. And what people didn't know 420 00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:26,000 Speaker 3: is that I was in such a bad place that 421 00:23:26,119 --> 00:23:30,200 Speaker 3: I was completely dissociated and completely shut off from myself 422 00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:33,240 Speaker 3: and when people weren't around, what was happening behind the 423 00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:37,280 Speaker 3: scenes is that I was struggling with severe alcohol abuse, 424 00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:42,639 Speaker 3: eating disorders, suicidal ideation, pill addiction, and not even thirty 425 00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:45,560 Speaker 3: days after that sentencing, I actually ended up in a 426 00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:49,399 Speaker 3: jail cell myself. And I'll give quick context to that. 427 00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:51,600 Speaker 3: So I was at with my boyfriend who was drinking 428 00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:54,679 Speaker 3: and driving, and I always say, that's a really clear 429 00:23:55,119 --> 00:23:56,800 Speaker 3: picture of where I was at at the time in 430 00:23:56,880 --> 00:24:00,439 Speaker 3: my life. This was also like fifteen years ago. So 431 00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:04,520 Speaker 3: he was pulled over and arrested, and when the police 432 00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:07,879 Speaker 3: officers went to pull me out of the car, I 433 00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:10,879 Speaker 3: had a flashback of the night of my assault of 434 00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:14,760 Speaker 3: a man touching me in a car, and my nervous 435 00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:18,280 Speaker 3: system went back into a fight response. I had actually 436 00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:21,560 Speaker 3: originally tried to fight him off, but I was overpowered 437 00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:23,280 Speaker 3: so that I went into a freeze response. And so 438 00:24:23,359 --> 00:24:28,199 Speaker 3: again this was all that accumulated and trial and cortisol 439 00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:32,160 Speaker 3: that was trying to, you know, stick on to any 440 00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:34,959 Speaker 3: experience to get this out. And so I ended up 441 00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:36,919 Speaker 3: in a jail cell with two counts of battery on 442 00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:40,760 Speaker 3: an officer with injury. And I remember going before the 443 00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:43,840 Speaker 3: judge after a couple of days because my parents did 444 00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:46,679 Speaker 3: not bail me out. You know, this this tough love moment, 445 00:24:47,359 --> 00:24:49,840 Speaker 3: and she knew who I was. She said, I know 446 00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:52,359 Speaker 3: who you are from that sexual from the sexual assault case. 447 00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:55,359 Speaker 3: And she said, we're going to drop the charges. But 448 00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:58,680 Speaker 3: she said, but you need to learn to live with 449 00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:02,480 Speaker 3: your pain better, with your trauma better. And that was 450 00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:04,520 Speaker 3: kind of the turning point for me because she didn't 451 00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:06,560 Speaker 3: say get over it, get past it, which is what 452 00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:11,600 Speaker 3: I'm accustomed to, and so that's kind of where things changed. 453 00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:14,119 Speaker 3: I should also state that while I was in that 454 00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:17,840 Speaker 3: jail cell, there was no alcohol, no pills, no crappy relationships, 455 00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:21,840 Speaker 3: no distraction, there was nothing kind of like quarantine. I 456 00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,160 Speaker 3: was in a literal prison, and for a lot of people, 457 00:25:24,359 --> 00:25:26,399 Speaker 3: they felt like, you know, the pandemic was like a prison. 458 00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:30,240 Speaker 3: But I was forced to sit in isolation with this 459 00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:35,480 Speaker 3: decade's old grief and trauma and the things that were 460 00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:38,760 Speaker 3: never spoken and never talked about and therefore never felt 461 00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:42,440 Speaker 3: as well. And my body experienced something in those two 462 00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:45,240 Speaker 3: days that I had never experienced before. There was trembling, 463 00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:48,639 Speaker 3: there was shaking, There was a lot of sweating, a 464 00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:52,159 Speaker 3: lot of tears, and it felt almost like a purge. 465 00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:54,560 Speaker 3: And looking back now, I know that it was my 466 00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:58,639 Speaker 3: body just finally discharging a lot of you know, because 467 00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:01,160 Speaker 3: in my life, I know I ever gave myself time 468 00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:04,399 Speaker 3: to sit down and do nothing or to be in silence. 469 00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:08,800 Speaker 3: It terrified me, and so I got really curious about 470 00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:11,439 Speaker 3: why I felt so differently in my body. When I 471 00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:15,760 Speaker 3: left that experience, I felt very different, and I remember 472 00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:17,919 Speaker 3: talking to my therapist about it. I was seeing a 473 00:26:17,960 --> 00:26:20,080 Speaker 3: talk therapist at the time, and I had for years, 474 00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:22,719 Speaker 3: and she recommended maybe you start doing a little bit 475 00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:25,919 Speaker 3: of work with a somatic therapist. And so that was 476 00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:29,760 Speaker 3: back in twenty eleven, twenty twelve, and so that just 477 00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:32,240 Speaker 3: took me down the rabbit hole of you know, kind 478 00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:34,040 Speaker 3: of this body body first approach. 479 00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:36,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, well you touched on something. This was going to 480 00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:39,840 Speaker 2: be my next question anyway. But when I hear the 481 00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:43,360 Speaker 2: part about you fighting the police officer, it's so interesting 482 00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:46,119 Speaker 2: how you literally ended up in a jail sale because 483 00:26:46,119 --> 00:26:50,119 Speaker 2: of your skills that kept you alive possibly in the 484 00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:53,680 Speaker 2: first situation, or they were used for an attempt at 485 00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:56,800 Speaker 2: survival when you were going through the actual assault. And 486 00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:59,199 Speaker 2: isn't that so often what happens to us. It's like 487 00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:02,280 Speaker 2: it's needed at the beginning, Like these tools that we 488 00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:05,400 Speaker 2: pick up or figure out as a kid to keep 489 00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:08,919 Speaker 2: ourselves alive end up being the thing that later comes 490 00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:11,879 Speaker 2: back to put us in either a literal jail or 491 00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:15,960 Speaker 2: a figurative jail. And I love that you also say 492 00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:20,080 Speaker 2: figuring out what those skill sets are for you isn't 493 00:27:20,119 --> 00:27:22,480 Speaker 2: a place of shame, Like that's the place to find 494 00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:25,600 Speaker 2: the biggest kind of compassion for yourself. So can you 495 00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:27,399 Speaker 2: talk through that a little bit, because I know in 496 00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:30,400 Speaker 2: my journey I used to really go to the shame 497 00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:32,959 Speaker 2: place first of like why do you do that? Or 498 00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:35,159 Speaker 2: you know, this is whatever, and it's like, no, that 499 00:27:35,359 --> 00:27:38,160 Speaker 2: actually served me for a long time, that skill set. 500 00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:41,280 Speaker 2: It helped me through very toxic situations or relationships or 501 00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:44,119 Speaker 2: whatever it was, and it kept me alive. It's just 502 00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:47,399 Speaker 2: not serving me anymore. And so even when it comes 503 00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:49,320 Speaker 2: up now, because it's not like you start this work 504 00:27:49,359 --> 00:27:51,080 Speaker 2: and you just figure it out and it gets perfect, 505 00:27:51,119 --> 00:27:53,119 Speaker 2: you know, but like when it comes up now, I 506 00:27:53,119 --> 00:27:55,040 Speaker 2: can go, oh, I'm just doing that thing again, or 507 00:27:55,359 --> 00:27:58,200 Speaker 2: what's happening in my body to like make me feel 508 00:27:58,240 --> 00:28:01,080 Speaker 2: so unsafe right now? It's actually an indicator for me. 509 00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:02,520 Speaker 2: But can you speak to that a little bit. 510 00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:15,800 Speaker 3: I often refer to them as management strategies or survival patterns, 511 00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:18,800 Speaker 3: like these old patterns that we enlisted back then in 512 00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:22,080 Speaker 3: order to survive. They started off as self protective and 513 00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:25,920 Speaker 3: now they might becoming self destructive. And these management strategies, 514 00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:28,040 Speaker 3: it's like they just need a little bit of updating, 515 00:28:28,119 --> 00:28:32,760 Speaker 3: some rewiring because they're outdated. But in the book, the 516 00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:35,800 Speaker 3: body keeps the score. Bessel vander Kolk. He says, you 517 00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:39,200 Speaker 3: know that trauma comes back as a reaction, and that's 518 00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:42,040 Speaker 3: kind of what you're talking about here, is these reactions 519 00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:45,120 Speaker 3: are these impulses of the body. It's a certain kind 520 00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:49,520 Speaker 3: of body memory called procedural patterns or procedural memory, and 521 00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:52,960 Speaker 3: it's essentially the procedures that our body uses in order 522 00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:56,080 Speaker 3: to move through a distressing moment. You know, whether that 523 00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:59,000 Speaker 3: is you can see it in posture, the way that 524 00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:03,160 Speaker 3: we close down that we open up again, the fidgetiness. 525 00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:05,840 Speaker 3: But the question that you asked is like, what is 526 00:29:05,920 --> 00:29:09,920 Speaker 3: it that's going on inside that that's then causing the behavior, Right, 527 00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:13,080 Speaker 3: So those are the impulses that we work with to 528 00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:17,240 Speaker 3: try and create new memory, new responses. And one way 529 00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:19,400 Speaker 3: that I you know, you can kind of again go 530 00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:23,440 Speaker 3: back to like the whole night suit armor thing. Yeah, 531 00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:26,280 Speaker 3: people often think that like, Okay, this armor isn't serving 532 00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:28,440 Speaker 3: me anymore, it's getting in the way of my life, 533 00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:30,600 Speaker 3: it's sabotaging me. I need to do away with it. 534 00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:33,040 Speaker 3: And it's actually not about doing away with it. In 535 00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:35,800 Speaker 3: the book, I use that analogy and I said, imagine 536 00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:38,480 Speaker 3: that it's like you're taking that night suit of armor 537 00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:42,520 Speaker 3: and you're like melting it down into a shield. Like 538 00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:46,560 Speaker 3: we're not discarding it, We're just we're not being consumed 539 00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:49,959 Speaker 3: by it anymore. And in moments when we need it, 540 00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:53,040 Speaker 3: it's still there because it still has purpose, it still 541 00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:55,840 Speaker 3: has intention, And I think that that is such a 542 00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:59,480 Speaker 3: much more compassionate way of looking at it. And also 543 00:30:00,160 --> 00:30:03,640 Speaker 3: the shame thing too, I mean, yeah, I can definitely 544 00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:06,440 Speaker 3: feel that. I feel that for myself because not only 545 00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:09,480 Speaker 3: was I hardwired into shame from a very early age, 546 00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:13,480 Speaker 3: you know, that internalized belief of I am bad or 547 00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:16,200 Speaker 3: I am wrong, other my mom wouldn't have done this, 548 00:30:16,360 --> 00:30:18,920 Speaker 3: or my dad wouldn't have left me, or you know 549 00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:23,440 Speaker 3: all those stories that we tell. Working with the shame, 550 00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:26,560 Speaker 3: and this is where a lot of like the younger 551 00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:30,400 Speaker 3: child or the internal family system somatic parts work. We 552 00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:33,320 Speaker 3: do a lot in my Body First healing program and 553 00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:36,800 Speaker 3: when that comes up. Actually, there's a do you know 554 00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:39,520 Speaker 3: who doctor Russell Kennedy is the anxiety MD. 555 00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:42,120 Speaker 2: No, I don't, but that sounds interesting to me. 556 00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:45,360 Speaker 3: So he's a colleague of mine, but he's an author, neuroscientist, 557 00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:48,560 Speaker 3: he's a medical doctor, okay, and he wrote a book 558 00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:51,760 Speaker 3: on anxiety. But one time we were doing a workshop 559 00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:54,720 Speaker 3: together and he said, a trigger is just an emotional 560 00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:55,520 Speaker 3: age regression. 561 00:30:56,960 --> 00:31:00,400 Speaker 2: We're good, yes, when are. 562 00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:03,240 Speaker 3: Triggered, when we're activated, we are just taken back in 563 00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:08,440 Speaker 3: time to this emotional stamp, this emotional younger version of ourself. 564 00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:11,680 Speaker 3: And so rather than being like, you know, scolding that 565 00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:15,560 Speaker 3: younger version of ourself, yeahing it, it's like, how can 566 00:31:15,600 --> 00:31:18,280 Speaker 3: we actually meet that version of ourselves with so much 567 00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:23,680 Speaker 3: more clarity, compassion, understanding and when that happens, and while 568 00:31:23,920 --> 00:31:28,120 Speaker 3: also at the same time creating new choices, new areas, 569 00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:31,479 Speaker 3: new reactions. So yeah, I just randomly thought about that. 570 00:31:31,560 --> 00:31:34,320 Speaker 2: But well, and if you do it that way, I 571 00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:37,320 Speaker 2: mean a lot of times I think that's called reparenting yourself, right, 572 00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:40,000 Speaker 2: But you're giving your nervous system the thing that you 573 00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:45,080 Speaker 2: didn't get that has now created this whole survival skills, 574 00:31:45,080 --> 00:31:48,320 Speaker 2: coping mechanisms, whatever you want to call it, programming within you. 575 00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:51,840 Speaker 2: So it does actually work. I often go to my teenager, 576 00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:54,880 Speaker 2: I mean, and she is like very sassy, but that 577 00:31:55,040 --> 00:31:57,160 Speaker 2: was the that's the one that I would go to first, 578 00:31:57,280 --> 00:31:59,880 Speaker 2: or then my my inner child, Like the younger version 579 00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:03,320 Speaker 2: was more weepy and kind of just like wanted to 580 00:32:03,320 --> 00:32:06,040 Speaker 2: be held, you know, those kind of things. But the 581 00:32:06,080 --> 00:32:11,320 Speaker 2: things that I've learned about how simple actually the rewiring 582 00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:13,920 Speaker 2: can be. Once you start learning about this stuff and 583 00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:17,000 Speaker 2: doing the kind of practices that you're talking about. I mean, 584 00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:20,960 Speaker 2: it's changed my whole life, like the entire thing. But 585 00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:23,320 Speaker 2: I want to ask for the listeners who might be 586 00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:26,760 Speaker 2: hearing this and thinking, Okay, I'm identifying with what they're 587 00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:29,480 Speaker 2: talking about. I've maybe had some experiences. I'm starting to 588 00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:32,840 Speaker 2: see it manifest in my life, like they start doing 589 00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:35,600 Speaker 2: this work. But then we're also still living in this world, 590 00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:39,080 Speaker 2: you know, and there's a lot going on right now. 591 00:32:39,080 --> 00:32:42,880 Speaker 2: How do we keep ourselves from continuing to just add 592 00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:46,360 Speaker 2: trauma to the plate and like survive this kind of 593 00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:47,760 Speaker 2: world that we live in right now. 594 00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:51,400 Speaker 3: So I think that first of all, reminding ourselves that 595 00:32:52,280 --> 00:32:58,640 Speaker 3: our biology is incredibly adaptable, Okay, incredibly like the cell. 596 00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:00,880 Speaker 3: And I know this is this maybe not woo woo, 597 00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:04,959 Speaker 3: but it's real science, right Our happiatics, the history of 598 00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:11,280 Speaker 3: ourselves has survived and resiliently made it through some of 599 00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:13,920 Speaker 3: the worst conditions of this world, and that is a 600 00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:17,239 Speaker 3: part of our makeup and I think sometimes we forget that, like, 601 00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:24,640 Speaker 3: the genetic inheritance that we have is remarkable, right, yeah, 602 00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:29,680 Speaker 3: and somatic experiencing it is a it's considered a naturalistic 603 00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:35,240 Speaker 3: trauma recovery modality. A lot of that is the word naturalistic, 604 00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:39,440 Speaker 3: is that what we're doing is instead of showing people 605 00:33:40,240 --> 00:33:44,000 Speaker 3: that external factors and resources that can help them heal, 606 00:33:44,160 --> 00:33:46,840 Speaker 3: we're turning people. We're kind of posturing them to turn 607 00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:50,280 Speaker 3: inward and be like, you actually have everything within you. You 608 00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:53,600 Speaker 3: have the capacity to heal on your own, to self heal. 609 00:33:53,680 --> 00:33:57,120 Speaker 3: You were actually wired for it. And so I know 610 00:33:57,160 --> 00:33:59,240 Speaker 3: that sounds very wishy washy and can be hard to 611 00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:01,720 Speaker 3: take in when you're like, my life just freaking sucks 612 00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:05,000 Speaker 3: right now, right, It's really hard. So I just want 613 00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:07,880 Speaker 3: to give people that encouragement. Is I think sometimes we 614 00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:10,799 Speaker 3: forget where we came from as a species and how 615 00:34:10,880 --> 00:34:12,719 Speaker 3: much we have endured and survived. 616 00:34:12,719 --> 00:34:13,440 Speaker 2: For sure. 617 00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:17,400 Speaker 3: Yeah, really cool to think about. So the answer is 618 00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:20,880 Speaker 3: probably simpler than you might think. Okay, when you have 619 00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:24,239 Speaker 3: a nervous system that's stuck in survival survival mode, which 620 00:34:24,680 --> 00:34:27,480 Speaker 3: by the way, makes so much sense based on the 621 00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:32,080 Speaker 3: conditions of our world, the divisive political climates, the air 622 00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:34,799 Speaker 3: that we breathe, the food that we eat where you know, 623 00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:37,560 Speaker 3: like we live everything. Yeah, we live in a very 624 00:34:37,560 --> 00:34:41,000 Speaker 3: disconnected society. We are always on our phones. I mean, 625 00:34:41,560 --> 00:34:43,840 Speaker 3: it makes a lot of sense. And we're also taught 626 00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:46,480 Speaker 3: let's not be with our emotions, which makes things ten 627 00:34:46,560 --> 00:34:49,880 Speaker 3: times worse. Let's pretend like we're okay. So what do 628 00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:52,640 Speaker 3: you do if those are things that you can't really change? 629 00:34:53,600 --> 00:34:55,920 Speaker 3: So think of your nervous system and other analogies. Think 630 00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:58,400 Speaker 3: of it like a security system that is always working 631 00:34:58,440 --> 00:35:02,919 Speaker 3: in the background consciously, and it operates through the subconscious 632 00:35:02,960 --> 00:35:07,000 Speaker 3: brain and the body, more specifically, the senses it is 633 00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:09,840 Speaker 3: sensing into am I safe or am I not safe? 634 00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:13,719 Speaker 3: Safe or not safe? And this is called neuroception. This 635 00:35:13,840 --> 00:35:17,680 Speaker 3: is your brain's ability to detect or your body's ability 636 00:35:17,719 --> 00:35:21,600 Speaker 3: to detect for safety or threat without using your mind's awareness. Okay, 637 00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:25,480 Speaker 3: And this scanning, the security system is scanning in three 638 00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:30,000 Speaker 3: places internally in your body, so inside, externally, in your 639 00:35:30,040 --> 00:35:33,880 Speaker 3: outer environment, outside, and then between you and other nervous systems. 640 00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:37,239 Speaker 3: We call it inside outside between Okay, So internally that 641 00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:39,400 Speaker 3: might feel like, oh, what doesn't feel safe? Is that 642 00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:41,520 Speaker 3: my stomach is really upset right now, or my heart 643 00:35:41,560 --> 00:35:44,279 Speaker 3: is pounding out of my chest, or oh, what does 644 00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:47,719 Speaker 3: feel safe is I have access to breath, and my 645 00:35:47,800 --> 00:35:51,320 Speaker 3: diaphragm feels really nice and open, and I feel settled 646 00:35:51,320 --> 00:35:54,960 Speaker 3: in my seat. Right we're not thinking these things, but 647 00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:58,799 Speaker 3: these scans are happening, millions of scans per second, same 648 00:35:58,840 --> 00:36:02,000 Speaker 3: with your outer environments, with your internal So what can 649 00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:05,600 Speaker 3: happen is that when you become chronically dysregulated or stuck 650 00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:09,040 Speaker 3: in survival mode, it's like your nervous system is constantly 651 00:36:09,120 --> 00:36:12,200 Speaker 3: alarming for danger even if it might not be there, 652 00:36:13,520 --> 00:36:16,680 Speaker 3: or it's not alarming for danger even if it is present. 653 00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:20,080 Speaker 3: So what we can do is we can start to 654 00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:25,560 Speaker 3: intentionally scan for things that feel safe, So things that 655 00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:28,680 Speaker 3: don't feel safe for what we lovingly call triggers. Right 656 00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:32,960 Speaker 3: in the sematic space, we call it activation. Okay, we 657 00:36:32,960 --> 00:36:36,600 Speaker 3: don't use the word triggers, but what feels safe is 658 00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:41,200 Speaker 3: what we call glimmers, So things that deactivate the nervous 659 00:36:41,239 --> 00:36:44,879 Speaker 3: system or deactivate that alarm. And so when you start 660 00:36:44,920 --> 00:36:48,359 Speaker 3: to do like se work, for instance, the foundational work 661 00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:50,239 Speaker 3: that we do with the client is helping them to 662 00:36:50,360 --> 00:36:54,239 Speaker 3: build what we call that felt sense of safety. So 663 00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:57,480 Speaker 3: it's rewiring and teaching the body and the nervous system 664 00:36:57,480 --> 00:37:00,160 Speaker 3: instead of just scanning for danger all the time. Can 665 00:37:00,239 --> 00:37:03,520 Speaker 3: we scan for what might feel good, what might feel okay? 666 00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:07,480 Speaker 3: What and what not necessarily what brings you joy and gratitude, 667 00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:10,400 Speaker 3: Like what just brings a sense of okayness or like 668 00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:14,080 Speaker 3: betterness to you? And so something as simple as like 669 00:37:14,480 --> 00:37:19,040 Speaker 3: orienting what we call exploratory orienting, orienting with the sensory 670 00:37:19,080 --> 00:37:25,200 Speaker 3: motor system. It's using site, sound, smell, touch, taste as 671 00:37:25,239 --> 00:37:28,000 Speaker 3: a way to just explore your environment. And when you 672 00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:31,719 Speaker 3: do that, you actually slow down the nervous system, which 673 00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:35,080 Speaker 3: kind of counteracts some of that adrenaline and cortisol. You 674 00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:38,839 Speaker 3: start to become more present and you realize, wow, there's 675 00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:42,360 Speaker 3: actually cues, neuroceptive cues of safety all around me. Like 676 00:37:42,400 --> 00:37:43,680 Speaker 3: even right now, there's a mirror in front of me, 677 00:37:43,719 --> 00:37:46,480 Speaker 3: and I'm seeing the way that the window in the reflection, 678 00:37:46,560 --> 00:37:49,040 Speaker 3: the way that the light is on right here, and 679 00:37:49,080 --> 00:37:51,440 Speaker 3: I'm thinking to myself, wow, it's really beautiful outside. 680 00:37:51,680 --> 00:37:52,919 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a beautiful day. 681 00:37:53,280 --> 00:37:55,920 Speaker 3: Yeah. But what's important is that as you're doing this 682 00:37:56,040 --> 00:37:59,160 Speaker 3: and as you're exploring, you also want to notice when 683 00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:02,480 Speaker 3: we call this track, how does that feel in your body? 684 00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:05,880 Speaker 3: So like, how is your body experiencing this? What small 685 00:38:05,920 --> 00:38:08,359 Speaker 3: shifts are you noticing? So you might notice like, oh, 686 00:38:08,440 --> 00:38:12,200 Speaker 3: my shoulder diaphragm just dropped, or the root or my 687 00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:15,520 Speaker 3: tongue just dropped open a little bit, or I feel 688 00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:18,880 Speaker 3: like i'm my heart rate is regulating, or oh, that's interesting, 689 00:38:18,920 --> 00:38:21,600 Speaker 3: my hands feel a little bit more neutral and warm 690 00:38:21,640 --> 00:38:24,799 Speaker 3: they were really cold earlier. I feel more present, or 691 00:38:24,840 --> 00:38:28,680 Speaker 3: maybe there's an emotional experience, And so we call it 692 00:38:28,760 --> 00:38:31,680 Speaker 3: kind of stupid simple because when people start the work. 693 00:38:32,440 --> 00:38:34,560 Speaker 3: The Body First Healing Book is based on the Body 694 00:38:34,560 --> 00:38:37,759 Speaker 3: First Healing Program, and it's a program I've had for 695 00:38:37,840 --> 00:38:41,040 Speaker 3: many years. But it's six months, and in the first 696 00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:42,960 Speaker 3: three months of the program, we actually don't even get 697 00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:46,839 Speaker 3: into people's trauma, yeah, which some people love and some 698 00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:48,799 Speaker 3: people hate. Some people are like, I want to get 699 00:38:48,840 --> 00:38:50,840 Speaker 3: to it now, but we don't do core wounds until 700 00:38:50,880 --> 00:38:53,880 Speaker 3: month three because the first three months we spend time 701 00:38:54,640 --> 00:38:57,800 Speaker 3: building this foundation for your nervous system in your body 702 00:38:57,840 --> 00:39:01,560 Speaker 3: to learn the language of what it feels like to 703 00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:05,600 Speaker 3: be present, what it feels like to be with your body, 704 00:39:05,680 --> 00:39:09,680 Speaker 3: which can feel really foreign, but you'll be surprised that 705 00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:13,400 Speaker 3: by just doing daily tracking every day, like taking just 706 00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:16,399 Speaker 3: ninety seconds to be like, what feels pleasant right now 707 00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:17,840 Speaker 3: for me? What can I notice? 708 00:39:18,239 --> 00:39:18,719 Speaker 2: Yeah? 709 00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:23,120 Speaker 3: How is my body showing me that that consistent somatic 710 00:39:23,239 --> 00:39:28,200 Speaker 3: experience we say, the experience creates creates new evidence for 711 00:39:28,239 --> 00:39:30,640 Speaker 3: the body and the nervous system that Okay, I can 712 00:39:30,680 --> 00:39:33,560 Speaker 3: have moments where I feel safe and present, and that 713 00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:38,439 Speaker 3: evidence then creates new expectation. So experience creates evidence, which 714 00:39:38,480 --> 00:39:41,440 Speaker 3: then creates new expectation where when I'm out in the 715 00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:43,759 Speaker 3: world now it's like I'm expecting that I'm not going 716 00:39:43,800 --> 00:39:46,600 Speaker 3: to be triggered all the time, and we start to 717 00:39:46,680 --> 00:39:50,080 Speaker 3: look for safety subconsciously more rather than always being so 718 00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:51,080 Speaker 3: armored up. 719 00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:55,080 Speaker 2: Or believing their safety even Like that's an interesting and 720 00:39:55,239 --> 00:39:58,399 Speaker 2: so that's so interesting. You brought up tracking because when 721 00:39:58,400 --> 00:40:01,360 Speaker 2: you were describing the moment you had in jail, the 722 00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:05,120 Speaker 2: very first time I did somatic kind of work, the 723 00:40:05,120 --> 00:40:07,920 Speaker 2: first time they had me do tracking, it freaked me 724 00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:10,359 Speaker 2: out so much because it involved me having to be 725 00:40:10,440 --> 00:40:14,520 Speaker 2: present in my own environment and I didn't realize how 726 00:40:14,560 --> 00:40:18,279 Speaker 2: disassociated I actually was. Yeah, and that kind of it 727 00:40:18,320 --> 00:40:22,880 Speaker 2: was such an interesting experience because I almost like blacked 728 00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:25,760 Speaker 2: out but then would like cry and then it became 729 00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:27,759 Speaker 2: something that was a very helpful tool. But it was 730 00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:31,080 Speaker 2: almost like I had to reteach my body and nervous 731 00:40:31,080 --> 00:40:35,600 Speaker 2: system this is okay to be here now first ye, 732 00:40:35,760 --> 00:40:36,800 Speaker 2: which was crazy. 733 00:40:37,680 --> 00:40:41,239 Speaker 3: And that's that's kind of the biggest stumbling block for 734 00:40:41,320 --> 00:40:44,040 Speaker 3: most people at the beginning is realizing like, oh, I 735 00:40:44,080 --> 00:40:45,520 Speaker 3: have a body and I'm allowed to be in. 736 00:40:45,520 --> 00:40:48,960 Speaker 2: It, right, Like this thing that's connected to me all 737 00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:55,360 Speaker 2: the time, I'm actually not even living in it's. 738 00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:55,320 Speaker 3: Where you know. And then that's where we go into 739 00:40:55,400 --> 00:41:00,080 Speaker 3: like when we override, Like and I can ask the 740 00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:01,960 Speaker 3: the question to someone in the program of like how 741 00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:05,280 Speaker 3: does your body show you? Yes, how does your body 742 00:41:05,280 --> 00:41:07,520 Speaker 3: show you know? And they'll be like I don't know, 743 00:41:07,560 --> 00:41:10,200 Speaker 3: and I'm like, okay, So when you set a boundary, 744 00:41:10,280 --> 00:41:12,520 Speaker 3: how do you know that that that that's a boundary 745 00:41:12,560 --> 00:41:13,640 Speaker 3: that you want to set And they're like, wow, I 746 00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:17,520 Speaker 3: guess I don't set boundaries. I have a hard time, yeah. 747 00:41:18,239 --> 00:41:22,080 Speaker 3: Or we allow our boundaries to be overridden because we're 748 00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:25,000 Speaker 3: not in touch with and that's what intuition is, right, 749 00:41:25,080 --> 00:41:29,040 Speaker 3: Our intuition is part of our gut instinct, and that 750 00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:33,480 Speaker 3: is literally our body showing us what we want to prioritize, 751 00:41:33,480 --> 00:41:36,000 Speaker 3: our authentic wants and desires. I know there's so much 752 00:41:36,040 --> 00:41:39,600 Speaker 3: conversation right now around authenticity and like how do I 753 00:41:39,640 --> 00:41:41,960 Speaker 3: know if this is really me and really not? And 754 00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:44,960 Speaker 3: a lot of that starts with learning this somatic language. 755 00:41:45,560 --> 00:41:47,520 Speaker 3: And one of the things we didn't mention at the beginning, 756 00:41:47,560 --> 00:41:49,719 Speaker 3: but I think could be important here is when you 757 00:41:49,760 --> 00:41:53,320 Speaker 3: talk about like conventional like talking about our trauma versus 758 00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:56,880 Speaker 3: like the feeling part, there's what we know and then 759 00:41:56,880 --> 00:41:59,680 Speaker 3: there's what we feel, and oftentimes those are two very 760 00:41:59,719 --> 00:42:03,600 Speaker 3: different things. And so with the trauma work, what we're 761 00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:05,960 Speaker 3: doing and working with the nervous system is we're helping 762 00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:08,640 Speaker 3: the nervous system to catch up with what the mind 763 00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:13,000 Speaker 3: already knows. Right cognitive therapy, where we know, yes, the 764 00:42:13,040 --> 00:42:15,799 Speaker 3: trauma is over, we can we can we have that 765 00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:18,160 Speaker 3: perspective that this is something that happened in the past, 766 00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:20,560 Speaker 3: but the nervous system in the body doesn't feel that 767 00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:24,120 Speaker 3: way and it doesn't have cognition to really understand that. 768 00:42:24,920 --> 00:42:27,759 Speaker 3: And what's also important though to note is that we 769 00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:30,279 Speaker 3: have this great thing, this great thing. We have this 770 00:42:30,320 --> 00:42:33,200 Speaker 3: wonderful thing inside of us called the vagus nerve. I'm 771 00:42:33,239 --> 00:42:36,640 Speaker 3: sure you're familiar with it. It's really popular now, you know, 772 00:42:36,719 --> 00:42:40,000 Speaker 3: vagus nerve stimulation in order to regulate your nervous system. 773 00:42:40,080 --> 00:42:44,280 Speaker 3: But the polyvagal theory came from all of the study 774 00:42:44,320 --> 00:42:47,560 Speaker 3: of the vagus nerve, and the vagus nerve it's the 775 00:42:47,600 --> 00:42:51,279 Speaker 3: longest longest cranial nerve in the body, but it's a 776 00:42:51,320 --> 00:42:54,920 Speaker 3: bi directional nerve, so it sends information from the body 777 00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:57,320 Speaker 3: up to the brain and from the brain down to 778 00:42:57,360 --> 00:43:00,960 Speaker 3: the body, and it's known as the information super Highway. 779 00:43:01,560 --> 00:43:04,640 Speaker 3: And what's important to note is that eighty percent of 780 00:43:04,680 --> 00:43:08,040 Speaker 3: the messages of the vagus nerve go from the body 781 00:43:08,120 --> 00:43:10,600 Speaker 3: up to the brain and only twenty percent go from 782 00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:11,279 Speaker 3: the brain down to. 783 00:43:11,239 --> 00:43:15,319 Speaker 2: The body, which means fascinating, yeah, Which means that the 784 00:43:15,360 --> 00:43:17,600 Speaker 2: body has a lot more say when it comes to 785 00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:18,800 Speaker 2: how we show. 786 00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:23,040 Speaker 3: Up, how we feel, how we respond relationships. Yet we 787 00:43:23,360 --> 00:43:25,560 Speaker 3: again are so detached from the body, which is I 788 00:43:25,560 --> 00:43:27,880 Speaker 3: think why a lot of people right now feel so 789 00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:31,920 Speaker 3: inauthentic or they're searching for authenticity or is this really 790 00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:35,279 Speaker 3: me so just random thing too? But when it comes 791 00:43:35,360 --> 00:43:38,400 Speaker 3: to intuition and authenticity and like what's good for me 792 00:43:38,440 --> 00:43:41,120 Speaker 3: and what's not. If you're just doing that from a 793 00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:46,000 Speaker 3: mindset perspective, you're really missing a lot of the conversation. 794 00:43:46,920 --> 00:43:49,360 Speaker 2: Well, and to go back to your point earlier about 795 00:43:49,400 --> 00:43:55,320 Speaker 2: how a lot of our society is based on us overworking, overstimulating, 796 00:43:55,840 --> 00:43:58,719 Speaker 2: doing these things to avoid the emotions and being in 797 00:43:58,719 --> 00:44:00,920 Speaker 2: the body. So if you want to be authentic, it's 798 00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:02,839 Speaker 2: almost like you got to do reverse of what we've 799 00:44:02,880 --> 00:44:06,959 Speaker 2: all been taught exactly. Really fascinating. Well, I mentioned the book. 800 00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:09,959 Speaker 2: The book is called Body First Healing, A Revolutionary Guide 801 00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:12,759 Speaker 2: to the Nervous System Recovery. It is out now, so 802 00:44:12,840 --> 00:44:14,719 Speaker 2: I will put a link in the description of this 803 00:44:14,760 --> 00:44:17,160 Speaker 2: podcast for you guys. But Brittany, if people want to 804 00:44:17,239 --> 00:44:19,880 Speaker 2: keep up with you or work with you in other capacities, 805 00:44:19,920 --> 00:44:20,840 Speaker 2: where would they find you? 806 00:44:21,320 --> 00:44:24,040 Speaker 3: So they can find me on social media platforms that 807 00:44:24,160 --> 00:44:26,920 Speaker 3: heal with Britt with two Teas, I would say, it's 808 00:44:26,960 --> 00:44:31,040 Speaker 3: not like Britney Spears help britt with two teas. And 809 00:44:31,680 --> 00:44:33,719 Speaker 3: if you want to learn more about the book or 810 00:44:34,160 --> 00:44:36,680 Speaker 3: working with me or joining the Body First Healing program, 811 00:44:36,719 --> 00:44:38,920 Speaker 3: you can just go to Bodyfirst healing dot Com. 812 00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:41,840 Speaker 2: Amazing. I will put that also in the description of 813 00:44:41,840 --> 00:44:43,880 Speaker 2: this podcast for you guys. Thank you so much for 814 00:44:43,920 --> 00:44:45,360 Speaker 2: being here. I loved this conversation. 815 00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:47,160 Speaker 3: Thank you I did too. 816 00:44:47,920 --> 00:44:50,920 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening to The Velvet's Edge podcast with Kelly Henderson, 817 00:44:51,080 --> 00:44:53,600 Speaker 1: where we believe everyone has a little velvet in a 818 00:44:53,600 --> 00:44:57,760 Speaker 1: little edge. Subscribe for more conversations on life, style, beauty 819 00:44:57,840 --> 00:45:01,520 Speaker 1: and relationships. Search Velvet's Edge wherever you get your podcasts. 820 00:45:04,880 --> 00:45:04,920 Speaker 2: M