WEBVTT - 7 ChatGPT Prompts That Will Actually Change Your Life 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:03.600 I need to tell you something and it might frustrate you. 0:00:03.600 --> 0:00:06.640 You have access to what is arguably the most powerful 0:00:06.720 --> 0:00:11.240 personal development tool ever created in human history. It's sitting 0:00:11.320 --> 0:00:14.440 on your phone right now. You probably used it this morning, 0:00:14.840 --> 0:00:17.840 and you're using it to write emails, fixed grammar, and 0:00:18.000 --> 0:00:20.800 ask it what to make for dinner. That's like being 0:00:20.840 --> 0:00:23.360 handed a private jet and using it to store luggage. 0:00:23.800 --> 0:00:28.000 I'm talking about AI, Chat, GPT, Claude, whatever you use. 0:00:28.480 --> 0:00:30.680 And before you roll your eyes and think this is 0:00:30.720 --> 0:00:34.960 another ten AI hacks to boost your productivity episode, it's not. 0:00:35.400 --> 0:00:37.599 I'm not going to teach you how to automate your 0:00:37.600 --> 0:00:41.280 inbox or write better LinkedIn posts. I'm going to show 0:00:41.280 --> 0:00:44.040 you how to use this tool to do something that 0:00:44.200 --> 0:00:47.839 no app, no course, or no journal has ever been 0:00:47.920 --> 0:00:51.800 able to do at this speed. Have an honest, structured, 0:00:52.360 --> 0:00:56.520 zero judgment conversation with yourself about who you are, what 0:00:56.640 --> 0:00:59.920 you actually want, where you're stuck, and what to do 0:01:00.440 --> 0:01:04.000 about it. Because here's what nobody is talking about. The 0:01:04.040 --> 0:01:08.600 most powerful use of AI is not productivity. It's self awareness. 0:01:09.080 --> 0:01:13.000 And self awareness is the single skill that predicts success 0:01:13.040 --> 0:01:17.800 in relationships, korea, health, and mental wellbeing more than IQ 0:01:18.400 --> 0:01:23.000 more than talent, more than education, more than connections. Doctor 0:01:23.080 --> 0:01:26.959 Tasha Yurick's research found that although ninety five percent of 0:01:27.000 --> 0:01:31.280 people believe their self aware, only about ten to fifteen 0:01:31.280 --> 0:01:35.200 percent of people actually are. That gap between who you 0:01:35.360 --> 0:01:38.720 think you are and who you actually are is where 0:01:38.760 --> 0:01:42.199 most of your problems live. And for the first time 0:01:42.200 --> 0:01:44.680 in history, you have a tool that can help you 0:01:44.760 --> 0:01:48.680 close that gap on demand, at midnight, without an appointment, 0:01:48.960 --> 0:01:51.640 without the fear of being judged, without the pride that 0:01:51.760 --> 0:01:55.000 keeps you from being honest with another human being. Now, 0:01:55.120 --> 0:01:57.160 I do want to be really careful before I go 0:01:57.200 --> 0:01:59.920 on and say this. AI is not a replacement of 0:02:00.160 --> 0:02:02.920 human connection. If you try to do that, it will 0:02:02.960 --> 0:02:06.040 probably worseen your life. But it is a great place 0:02:06.080 --> 0:02:10.200 to reflect, to have deeper, more profound conversations with the 0:02:10.200 --> 0:02:13.200 people around you. It is an incredible tool for self 0:02:13.200 --> 0:02:17.119 awareness that you can use to then elevate and connect 0:02:17.120 --> 0:02:20.600 with other people around you. Do not let AI replace 0:02:20.680 --> 0:02:23.680 humans in your life. It won't serve you well. And 0:02:23.760 --> 0:02:26.359 at the same time, don't forget that even though it 0:02:26.400 --> 0:02:28.600 doesn't judge you, sometimes it does hype you up for 0:02:28.639 --> 0:02:30.520 no reason. So you've got to be careful about that 0:02:30.560 --> 0:02:33.440 as well. Today I'm going to give you seven ways 0:02:33.440 --> 0:02:36.840 to use AI as the most powerful personal growth tool 0:02:37.000 --> 0:02:42.360 you've ever touched. Not theory, exact prompts, exact frameworks, things 0:02:42.360 --> 0:02:44.680 you can do tonight that will show you parts of 0:02:44.720 --> 0:02:48.839 yourself you've been avoiding for years. But first I need 0:02:48.880 --> 0:02:52.280 to reframe what this tool actually is, because the way 0:02:52.320 --> 0:02:55.359 you think about it right now is the reason you're 0:02:55.400 --> 0:02:58.760 wasting it. Most people think of chat GPT as a 0:02:58.800 --> 0:03:01.720 search engine that talks back. You ask it a question, 0:03:01.960 --> 0:03:05.120 it gives you an answer. That's level one. That's the 0:03:05.200 --> 0:03:09.119 luggage in the private jet. Here's what chat GBT actually 0:03:09.280 --> 0:03:14.239 is when you use it correctly. It's an externalized thinking partner. 0:03:14.800 --> 0:03:17.959 It's a mirror that talks. It's the conversation you need 0:03:18.000 --> 0:03:21.200 to have with yourself but can't because when you try 0:03:21.240 --> 0:03:24.160 to think about your own life, your own patterns, your 0:03:24.160 --> 0:03:28.640 own blind spots, your brain does something incredibly unhelpful. It 0:03:28.720 --> 0:03:34.080 protects you. Psychologists call this the introspection illusion. Dr Emily 0:03:34.160 --> 0:03:38.280 Pronin at Princeton has published research showing that when we 0:03:38.320 --> 0:03:42.440 look inward, we don't actually see ourselves clearly. We see 0:03:42.480 --> 0:03:47.080 a curated, self serving narrative. We skip over the uncomfortable parts. 0:03:47.440 --> 0:03:51.920 We rationalize. We reframe failures as bad luck and successes 0:03:51.960 --> 0:03:55.840 as talent. Not because we're dishonest, but because the brain's 0:03:55.920 --> 0:03:59.920 job is to maintain a coherent self image, and co 0:04:00.000 --> 0:04:04.760 adherence requires editing. This is why journaling often goes in circles. 0:04:05.200 --> 0:04:07.720 This is why thinking about your problems at two am 0:04:07.880 --> 0:04:10.760 makes them worse, not better. This is why talking to 0:04:10.800 --> 0:04:15.400 yourself and your own head rarely produces breakthroughs. Your brain 0:04:15.480 --> 0:04:19.640 is both the investigator and the suspect. It can't interrogate 0:04:19.680 --> 0:04:23.159 itself honestly. But when you type your thoughts into chat 0:04:23.240 --> 0:04:29.080 GPT and ask it to reflect them back to you reorganized, reframed, challenged, 0:04:29.400 --> 0:04:33.159 you're doing something your brain can't always do alone. You're 0:04:33.200 --> 0:04:38.240 creating cognitive distance. You're externalizing the internal monologue so you 0:04:38.279 --> 0:04:41.240 can look at it instead of being trapped inside it. 0:04:41.640 --> 0:04:44.560 Doctor Ethan Cross at the University of Michigan, one of 0:04:44.560 --> 0:04:48.880 the leading researchers on self talk and emotional regulation, has 0:04:48.920 --> 0:04:53.680 shown that even small acts of psychological distancing, like referring 0:04:53.680 --> 0:04:57.560 to yourself in the third person, dramatically improve your ability 0:04:57.880 --> 0:05:01.560 to reason about your own problems. You gain clarity the 0:05:01.600 --> 0:05:04.839 moment you stop being inside the thought and start looking 0:05:04.839 --> 0:05:08.280 at it from the outside. Chat GBT doesn't just give 0:05:08.320 --> 0:05:12.320 you distance. It gives you structured distance. It can organize 0:05:12.360 --> 0:05:15.240 your chaos. It can find the pattern in your rambling. 0:05:15.600 --> 0:05:18.000 It can ask the follow up question you'd never think 0:05:18.040 --> 0:05:21.279 to ask yourself, because your ego is standing in the way. 0:05:21.800 --> 0:05:24.760 That's what we're going to use it for today. The 0:05:24.880 --> 0:05:29.680 seven uses. Use number one, the life audit you've been avoiding. 0:05:30.040 --> 0:05:32.240 Let's start with the thing most people will never do 0:05:32.320 --> 0:05:35.720 on their own because it's too uncomfortable and too overwhelming. 0:05:36.279 --> 0:05:40.320 Most people have never sat down and honestly evaluated where 0:05:40.360 --> 0:05:44.080 they actually stand across the major areas of their life, 0:05:44.600 --> 0:05:47.120 not where they think they stand, not where they tell 0:05:47.160 --> 0:05:52.839 people they stand, where they actually stand health relationships, career finances, 0:05:53.120 --> 0:05:57.679 mental state, personal growth. Purpose. The reason most people avoid 0:05:57.760 --> 0:06:01.400 this is simple. Confronting The gap between where you are 0:06:01.600 --> 0:06:04.760 and where you want to be triggers what psychologists call 0:06:05.120 --> 0:06:10.880 cognitive dissonance, the discomfort of holding two contradictory beliefs simultaneously. 0:06:11.360 --> 0:06:14.520 I believe I'm someone who has their life together versus 0:06:14.839 --> 0:06:17.640 I haven't exercised in four months and I'm in debt. 0:06:18.040 --> 0:06:22.320 The brain resolves this discomfort not by changing behavior, but 0:06:22.360 --> 0:06:26.200 by avoiding the information. You don't look at your bank account, 0:06:26.440 --> 0:06:28.680 you don't step on the scale. You don't ask yourself 0:06:28.680 --> 0:06:33.880 hard questions, because not knowing is more comfortable than knowing 0:06:34.080 --> 0:06:38.919 and not acting. Chadibt eliminates the social cost of this honesty. 0:06:39.400 --> 0:06:42.520 There's no face on the other side, no judgment, no pity, 0:06:42.839 --> 0:06:45.200 no one who will bring this up at dinner next week. 0:06:45.680 --> 0:06:48.599 Here's the prompt, and I mean use this word for word. 0:06:49.120 --> 0:06:52.280 I want to do an honest life audit. I'm going 0:06:52.320 --> 0:06:54.600 to rate the following areas of my life from one 0:06:54.640 --> 0:06:58.200 to ten and give you a brutally honest description of 0:06:58.279 --> 0:07:01.560 where I am in each one. After I'm done, I 0:07:01.600 --> 0:07:05.000 want you to identify the patterns you see, the areas 0:07:05.080 --> 0:07:07.960 where I'm lying to myself, and the one change in 0:07:08.040 --> 0:07:12.240 each area that would create the most momentum be useful. 0:07:12.640 --> 0:07:17.720 The areas of physical health, mental health, romantic relationship, friendships, 0:07:17.880 --> 0:07:22.640 career fulfillment, finances, and fun. I'll go one at a time, 0:07:23.320 --> 0:07:27.000 then go through each one. Don't perform, don't write what 0:07:27.040 --> 0:07:31.000 you tell someone you're trying to impress write what's actually true. 0:07:31.440 --> 0:07:34.440 The messier the better. What you'll get back will make 0:07:34.480 --> 0:07:38.760 you uncomfortable. That's how you know it's working. Chat GPT 0:07:38.880 --> 0:07:41.200 will find the thread between your three out of ten 0:07:41.240 --> 0:07:43.760 in health and your four out of ten in energy 0:07:44.000 --> 0:07:46.640 and your five out of ten in career fulfillment and 0:07:46.680 --> 0:07:50.400 say something like, the pattern here suggests that your physical 0:07:50.480 --> 0:07:55.560 neglect isn't separate from your professional stagnation. They're feeding each other. 0:07:56.080 --> 0:07:58.960 That's not a generic insight. That's a connection your brain 0:07:59.000 --> 0:08:01.880 wouldn't make on its own because it's been too busy 0:08:02.040 --> 0:08:05.840 keeping those categories in separate mental drawers so they don't 0:08:05.880 --> 0:08:09.960 confront each other. Do this once, just once. It will 0:08:10.000 --> 0:08:13.560 reorganize how you see your own life. Use number two, 0:08:13.800 --> 0:08:18.280 reverse engineer your self sabotaged patterns. This one's gonna feel 0:08:18.320 --> 0:08:21.520 like being read by a psychic, except it's not psychic. 0:08:21.560 --> 0:08:25.120 It's pattern recognition, and pattern recognition is what AI does 0:08:25.160 --> 0:08:28.160 better than any human on the planet. Here's the truth. 0:08:28.240 --> 0:08:32.040 Most people resist. You don't have a hundred problems. You 0:08:32.080 --> 0:08:36.560 have two or three problems that are creating one hundred symptoms. 0:08:36.840 --> 0:08:40.840 Let me say that again. You don't have one hundred problems. 0:08:41.240 --> 0:08:44.280 You have two or three problems that are creating one 0:08:44.400 --> 0:08:48.680 hundred symptoms. The person who can't commit in relationships is 0:08:48.760 --> 0:08:51.480 often the same person who can't finish projects at work 0:08:51.720 --> 0:08:54.520 and also can't stick with a workout program. It's not 0:08:54.640 --> 0:08:59.200 three separate failures. It's one pattern, likely a fear of completion, 0:08:59.640 --> 0:09:04.920 because completion invites judgment, expressing itself across multiple domains. But 0:09:05.000 --> 0:09:07.400 you'll never see that pattern on your own because from 0:09:07.440 --> 0:09:11.000 inside your life, each problem looks separate. Each failure has 0:09:11.040 --> 0:09:14.440 its own story, its own justification, its own but that 0:09:14.520 --> 0:09:18.760 situation's different. Here's the prompt. I'm going to describe five 0:09:18.800 --> 0:09:23.920 situations where I felt stuck, failed, self, sabotaged, or quit 0:09:24.040 --> 0:09:27.320 something important. I want you to analyze them not as 0:09:27.360 --> 0:09:31.800 separate events, but as expressions of a deeper pattern. What 0:09:31.840 --> 0:09:35.560 am I actually afraid of? What belief about myself is 0:09:35.640 --> 0:09:39.040 driving this? What is the hidden payoff I'm getting from 0:09:39.080 --> 0:09:43.120 this pattern, the thing it protects me from. Be direct, 0:09:43.400 --> 0:09:48.439 don't sugarcoat it. Then describe five situations. The relationship that 0:09:48.480 --> 0:09:50.920 didn't work out, the job you quit right when it 0:09:50.960 --> 0:09:54.080 was getting good, the goal you abandoned at seventy percent 0:09:54.559 --> 0:09:58.160 the conversation you avoided. The opportunity you talk to yourself 0:09:58.200 --> 0:10:02.280 out of what comes back will be uncomfortable because AI 0:10:02.360 --> 0:10:04.680 doesn't have a stake in your self image. It just 0:10:04.720 --> 0:10:07.920 sees the data, and the data usually tells a story 0:10:08.080 --> 0:10:10.959 you've been avoiding. I had someone tell me they did this, 0:10:11.200 --> 0:10:15.960 and the response identified that every situation they described involved 0:10:16.040 --> 0:10:22.520 leaving before they could be evaluated, not failing leaving. Most 0:10:22.559 --> 0:10:26.440 of us leave something because of a fear of judgment 0:10:26.920 --> 0:10:30.240 before we ever fail. Most of us don't start something 0:10:30.240 --> 0:10:34.320 because we're scared of judgment before we even try. Because 0:10:34.360 --> 0:10:37.560 somewhere deep in their operating system was the belief that 0:10:37.720 --> 0:10:42.240 being evaluated would reveal that we weren't enough. So we 0:10:42.320 --> 0:10:45.360 built a life that looked like I just haven't found 0:10:45.360 --> 0:10:49.240 my thing, when the truth was I keep quitting before 0:10:49.360 --> 0:10:52.920 anyone can graide my work. That's not a productivity problem. 0:10:53.280 --> 0:10:57.120 That's a core wound wearing one hundred different costumes, and 0:10:57.200 --> 0:11:00.280 once you see it, you can't unsee it. That's the 0:11:00.320 --> 0:11:05.400 beginning of change. Use number three, build your personal operating system. 0:11:05.880 --> 0:11:09.720 This is where it goes from reflection to architecture. Most 0:11:09.760 --> 0:11:12.720 people don't have a personal operating system. They have a 0:11:12.720 --> 0:11:17.200 collection of reactions. Something happens, they respond, Someone says something, 0:11:17.240 --> 0:11:20.640 they react. The day throws a problem at them, they scramble. 0:11:21.000 --> 0:11:25.920 There's no underlying framework, no principles. They've actually articulated, no 0:11:26.160 --> 0:11:30.040 rules of engagement with their own life. They're improvising every 0:11:30.120 --> 0:11:34.160 day and wondering why they feel chaotic. The most effective 0:11:34.200 --> 0:11:38.439 people in history operated from a small set of deliberately 0:11:38.559 --> 0:11:44.600 chosen principles that govern their decisions, not goals principles. Ray 0:11:44.679 --> 0:11:48.079 Dahlio build the world's largest hedge fund and credits his 0:11:48.200 --> 0:11:52.880 success almost entirely to what he calls his principles, a 0:11:52.920 --> 0:11:57.000 written operating system for decision making. The Stoics carried a 0:11:57.000 --> 0:12:01.160 small set of maxims they reviewed daily. Benjamin Franklin track 0:12:01.320 --> 0:12:05.559 thirteen virtues on a weekly scorecard. You can build your 0:12:05.600 --> 0:12:08.880 own and chat GPT can help you build it from 0:12:08.920 --> 0:12:13.520 your own experience instead of someone else's book. Here's the prompt. 0:12:13.960 --> 0:12:17.200 I want to build a personal operating system, a set 0:12:17.240 --> 0:12:22.480 of five to seven core principles that will guide my decisions, relationships, 0:12:22.520 --> 0:12:26.160 and daily behavior. But I don't want generic principles from 0:12:26.200 --> 0:12:28.640 a book. I want you to help me extract them 0:12:28.679 --> 0:12:31.520 from my actual life. I'm going to tell you about 0:12:31.520 --> 0:12:35.240 my biggest regrets, my proudest moments, and the lessons I've 0:12:35.320 --> 0:12:38.160 learned the hard way. From those, I want you to 0:12:38.200 --> 0:12:42.000 distill the principles that are already inside me, the ones 0:12:42.040 --> 0:12:47.000 I discovered through experience but never formally articulated. Then format 0:12:47.040 --> 0:12:50.400 them into a personal code I can review every morning. 0:12:50.880 --> 0:12:53.320 Then give it the raw material. Tell it about the 0:12:53.360 --> 0:12:55.720 time you said yes when you should have said no, 0:12:56.360 --> 0:12:59.440 the moment you were proudest of yourself and why, the 0:12:59.520 --> 0:13:02.600 relationship that taught you the most, the failure that changed 0:13:02.640 --> 0:13:06.360 your trajectory, the value you hold that you'd never compromise on. 0:13:07.120 --> 0:13:10.600 What comes back is not a motivational poster. It's a 0:13:10.640 --> 0:13:13.880 mirror of your own hard won wisdom organized into a 0:13:13.920 --> 0:13:18.280 structure you can actually use. Most people walk around carrying 0:13:18.320 --> 0:13:21.200 profound life lessons that are just floating in the back 0:13:21.240 --> 0:13:25.760 of their mind, unstructured and unused. This process pulls them out, 0:13:26.280 --> 0:13:29.599 names them, and turns them into a decision making framework 0:13:29.840 --> 0:13:33.480 that is uniquely yours. Print it, put it on your wall, 0:13:33.800 --> 0:13:37.000 put it as your phone's wallpaper. Read it every morning. 0:13:37.640 --> 0:13:40.440 Not because someone told you, but because These are the 0:13:40.440 --> 0:13:43.920 principles your own pain taught you. You just never wrote 0:13:43.960 --> 0:14:08.800 them down. Use four. Have the conversation you're afraid to 0:14:08.920 --> 0:14:11.320 have before you have it. This is one of the 0:14:11.320 --> 0:14:15.160 most practically powerful uses of AI for personal growth, and 0:14:15.200 --> 0:14:18.640 almost nobody's doing it. You have a conversation you're avoiding 0:14:18.720 --> 0:14:21.160 right now. I know you do. Maybe it's with your 0:14:21.200 --> 0:14:24.280 partner about something that's been bothering you for months. Maybe 0:14:24.280 --> 0:14:26.680 it's with your boss about your role. Maybe it's with 0:14:26.760 --> 0:14:29.200 a friend who crossed a boundary. Maybe it's with a 0:14:29.240 --> 0:14:32.480 parent about something that happened years ago. You're avoiding it 0:14:32.520 --> 0:14:35.480 for one of two reasons. Either you don't know how 0:14:35.520 --> 0:14:38.680 to say what you feel without it going sideways, or 0:14:38.680 --> 0:14:42.480 you're afraid of the response you'll get. Usually both. Here's 0:14:42.480 --> 0:14:46.160 what most people do. Instead. They've rehearsed a conversation in 0:14:46.200 --> 0:14:50.600 their head, over and over, playing both parts, writing the 0:14:50.640 --> 0:14:54.040 other person's dialogue for them based on their worst assumptions, 0:14:54.520 --> 0:14:57.000 and by the time they've rehearsed it forty times in 0:14:57.040 --> 0:15:00.600 the shower, they've worked themselves into such an emotiontional state 0:15:01.080 --> 0:15:04.640 that either they explode when they finally have it, or 0:15:04.680 --> 0:15:08.520 they've convinced themselves it's not worth having at all. Dr 0:15:08.640 --> 0:15:11.600 James pen Baker's research at the University of Texas at 0:15:11.600 --> 0:15:15.920 Austin decades of work on expressive writing shows that the 0:15:15.960 --> 0:15:20.840 act of putting difficult emotions into structured language reduces their 0:15:20.840 --> 0:15:27.120 physiological impact. Literally, people who wrote about their deepest conflicts 0:15:27.480 --> 0:15:32.560 showed improved immune function, lower blood pressure, and reduced anxiety 0:15:32.920 --> 0:15:37.080 compared to people who kept those conflicts internal. It's not 0:15:37.200 --> 0:15:41.600 the feeling that hurts you, it's the unstructured, unspoken feeling 0:15:41.960 --> 0:15:46.040 that hurts you. Chat GBT lets you structure the unspoken. 0:15:46.720 --> 0:15:49.720 Here's the prompt. I need to have a difficult conversation 0:15:50.200 --> 0:15:54.640 with the person their role, not their name. Here's the situation. 0:15:55.040 --> 0:15:58.440 Describe it honestly. Here's what I feel but haven't said. 0:15:59.000 --> 0:16:02.200 Get it all out, don't filter. Here's what I'm afraid 0:16:02.240 --> 0:16:05.320 will happen if I say it. Name the fear. I 0:16:05.360 --> 0:16:08.560 want you to help me do three things. First, help 0:16:08.600 --> 0:16:12.040 me clarify what I actually need from this conversation, not 0:16:12.120 --> 0:16:15.600 what I want to say, but what outcome I need. Second, 0:16:15.680 --> 0:16:20.040 help me find the words that are honest but not destructive. Third, 0:16:20.120 --> 0:16:22.920 play the role of this person and respond the way 0:16:22.960 --> 0:16:26.640 they're most likely to respond, so I can practice navigating it. 0:16:27.120 --> 0:16:30.520 That third part is where it gets transformational. You can 0:16:30.600 --> 0:16:34.840 actually have the conversation with chatchbt playing the other person, 0:16:35.360 --> 0:16:37.960 not in a manipulative, give me the script a win way, 0:16:38.600 --> 0:16:41.200 but in a let me practice saying the truth out loud, 0:16:41.560 --> 0:16:43.960 so it's not the first time these words leave my 0:16:44.040 --> 0:16:48.600 body way. Athletes visualize before they compete. They train too. 0:16:49.000 --> 0:16:52.520 They train the exact ways and methods and strategies that 0:16:52.520 --> 0:16:56.560 they're going to play. Surgeons rehearse before they operate. Why 0:16:56.560 --> 0:16:59.200 would you go into the most important conversation of your 0:16:59.280 --> 0:17:03.040 year without a single practice rep And here's what happens 0:17:03.120 --> 0:17:06.119 that most people don't expect. Often, in the process of 0:17:06.119 --> 0:17:09.159 writing out what you feel and what you need, you 0:17:09.280 --> 0:17:12.600 realize the conversation you thought you needed to have is 0:17:12.720 --> 0:17:16.280 not the conversation you actually need to have. The real 0:17:16.320 --> 0:17:21.399 issue surfaces, the real need clarifies, and sometimes the conversation 0:17:21.560 --> 0:17:25.879 becomes unnecessary because the act of externalizing and structuring the 0:17:25.920 --> 0:17:30.800 feeling was itself the resolution. Use five build a custom 0:17:30.800 --> 0:17:34.520 accountability system that actually works. Let me tell you why 0:17:34.560 --> 0:17:38.440 most accountability fails. It fails because it's built on motivation, 0:17:39.040 --> 0:17:42.560 and motivation is neurologically one of the least reliable systems 0:17:42.680 --> 0:17:46.360 in the human brain. Motivation is governed largely by dopamine, 0:17:46.600 --> 0:17:50.960 and dopamine is not a reward chemical, it's an anticipation chemical. 0:17:51.520 --> 0:17:53.840 Doctor Andrew Huberman, who we've had as a guest on 0:17:53.880 --> 0:17:58.240 the show, has explained this extensively. Dopamine surges when you 0:17:58.280 --> 0:18:02.120 anticipate a reward, not when you receive it. This means 0:18:02.160 --> 0:18:04.720 you get a rush of motivation when you set a goal, 0:18:05.040 --> 0:18:08.560 buy the gym membership, write the plan, and then dopamine 0:18:08.640 --> 0:18:12.840 drops because the anticipation is over. The actual work has 0:18:12.920 --> 0:18:16.159 no chemical reward attached to it. This is why you 0:18:16.240 --> 0:18:20.760 have eleven and a half finished journals, four abandoned morning routines, 0:18:21.000 --> 0:18:24.320 and a meditation app you haven't opened since January. The 0:18:24.320 --> 0:18:28.960 solution isn't more motivation. It's a system that doesn't require motivation. 0:18:29.600 --> 0:18:32.560 And this is where chat GBT becomes something no human 0:18:32.560 --> 0:18:36.439 accountability partner can be. Here's the prompt, I want you 0:18:36.480 --> 0:18:40.080 to be my accountability partner. Here's the one habit I'm 0:18:40.119 --> 0:18:43.600 trying to build. Name it. Here's my history with it. 0:18:44.119 --> 0:18:46.479 How many times I've tried and failed, and why I 0:18:46.520 --> 0:18:50.159 think I keep failing. Be honest. Here's what my typical 0:18:50.240 --> 0:18:53.119 day looks like. Describe it. I want you to design 0:18:53.119 --> 0:18:56.639 a system for me that is so small I can't fail. 0:18:56.640 --> 0:18:59.320 At the starting point, then, I want you to check 0:18:59.359 --> 0:19:02.080 in with me every time I message you by asking 0:19:02.119 --> 0:19:05.360 me one specific question about whether I did it. If 0:19:05.400 --> 0:19:09.160 I make excuses, call me out, not harshly, but directly. 0:19:09.560 --> 0:19:12.919 If I'm struggling, help me adjust the system, not abandon it. 0:19:13.440 --> 0:19:16.920 Track my streak, Celebrate the wins. And if I disappear 0:19:16.960 --> 0:19:19.160 for a few days, the first thing you should say 0:19:19.160 --> 0:19:23.119 when I come back is welcome back, no judgment. Let's 0:19:23.119 --> 0:19:26.959 start again. The key here is so small, I can't fail. 0:19:27.480 --> 0:19:31.320 This is based on doctor bj Fogg's research at Stanford 0:19:31.359 --> 0:19:35.359 on behavior design. Fogg's work, developed over decades and tested 0:19:35.400 --> 0:19:39.040 across thousands of participants, shows that the most effective way 0:19:39.080 --> 0:19:42.480 to build a habit is not to set ambitious targets. 0:19:42.560 --> 0:19:45.600 It's to make the initial behavior so tiny that it 0:19:45.680 --> 0:19:50.600 requires almost zero motivation. One to meditate, start with one breath. 0:19:50.920 --> 0:19:54.280 One to exercise, start with putting your shoes on. The 0:19:54.320 --> 0:19:58.600 behavior itself is almost irrelevant at the start. What matters 0:19:58.760 --> 0:20:02.280 is the repetition, because repetition is what builds the neural 0:20:02.359 --> 0:20:07.720 pathway that eventually becomes automatic. Chat GBT won't forget it, 0:20:07.720 --> 0:20:10.040 it won't get tired of asking, it won't judge you 0:20:10.080 --> 0:20:13.480 for failing on day three, and most importantly, it won't 0:20:13.520 --> 0:20:16.800 let you quietly abandon the commitment the way you would 0:20:17.080 --> 0:20:20.880 if nobody was watching. You're not weak for needing a system. 0:20:21.359 --> 0:20:27.840 You're human. Willpower is a finite neurochemical resource. Systems are infinite. 0:20:28.040 --> 0:20:31.760 Use number six decode your emotional patterns in real time. 0:20:32.359 --> 0:20:34.840 This one is closest to therapy, and I want to 0:20:34.840 --> 0:20:38.800 be clear. Chat GBT is not a therapist. It is 0:20:38.840 --> 0:20:42.200 not a replacement for professional mental health support. If you're 0:20:42.200 --> 0:20:47.280 dealing with clinical depression, trauma, or crisis, please seek professional help. 0:20:47.600 --> 0:20:51.040 But here's what CHATGBT can do that is genuinely transformative 0:20:51.320 --> 0:20:53.840 for the millions of people who aren't in crisis but 0:20:53.920 --> 0:21:00.400 are emotionally stuck. Most people can describe what they feel angry, sad, anxious, frustraited, 0:21:00.920 --> 0:21:04.760 but almost nobody can explain why they feel it. Not 0:21:04.880 --> 0:21:08.480 the surface reason, not the trigger, the real reason. You 0:21:08.560 --> 0:21:11.000 think you're anger, at your partner for not doing the dishes, 0:21:11.520 --> 0:21:15.040 but the anger is disproportionate to the offense. The real 0:21:15.080 --> 0:21:18.800 trigger is that the undone dishes activated a belief you've 0:21:18.800 --> 0:21:22.240 been carrying since earlier in your life that your needs 0:21:22.280 --> 0:21:24.880 don't matter, that you'll always be the one who has 0:21:24.920 --> 0:21:27.640 to carry things, that no one shows up for you. 0:21:28.240 --> 0:21:31.959 Doctor Lisa Feldman Barrett, one of the most cited neuroscientists Alive, 0:21:32.400 --> 0:21:37.280 has demonstrated through her research Unconstructed Emotion, that emotions are 0:21:37.359 --> 0:21:43.399 not hardwired reactions. They're constructed by the brain using past experience, context, 0:21:43.520 --> 0:21:46.760 and prediction. Your anger at the dishes is not about 0:21:46.800 --> 0:21:50.879 the dishes. It's your brain constructing an emotional response based 0:21:50.920 --> 0:21:54.000 on a lifetime of similar patterns. But you'll never see 0:21:54.040 --> 0:21:57.960 that construction in real time, not without an outside perspective 0:21:58.240 --> 0:22:01.280 that can trace the thread. Here is the prompt. I'm 0:22:01.320 --> 0:22:04.480 having a strong emotional reaction right now, and I want 0:22:04.480 --> 0:22:07.880 to understand it, not just feel it. Here's what happened. 0:22:08.080 --> 0:22:11.879 Describe the situation. Here's what I feel. Name the emotions. 0:22:12.400 --> 0:22:14.560 Here's how intense it is on a scale of one 0:22:14.600 --> 0:22:17.639 to ten. Rate it. Now, here's what I need you 0:22:17.680 --> 0:22:21.280 to do. The intensity of my reaction probably doesn't match 0:22:21.359 --> 0:22:24.400 the size of the event. That means this is triggering 0:22:24.440 --> 0:22:28.280 something deeper. Ask me questions one at a time to 0:22:28.359 --> 0:22:31.399 help me trace this feeling back to its real source, 0:22:32.119 --> 0:22:36.119 not the surface, trigger the original wound. Help me find 0:22:36.160 --> 0:22:38.840 the pattern and then let it. Ask you questions, one 0:22:38.880 --> 0:22:41.280 at a time. When was the first time you remember 0:22:41.320 --> 0:22:44.040 feeling this way? Who in your early life made you 0:22:44.080 --> 0:22:47.760 feel like your needs were an inconvenience? What would you 0:22:47.840 --> 0:22:51.040 need to hear right now from the person who originally 0:22:51.080 --> 0:22:54.000 made you feel this way. This is essentially a guided 0:22:54.040 --> 0:22:58.320 emotional excavation, and it works because the AI has no agenda. 0:22:58.720 --> 0:23:01.560 It's not going to redirect to its own problems. It's 0:23:01.560 --> 0:23:04.359 not going to get uncomfortable. It's not going to minimize 0:23:04.359 --> 0:23:07.000 what you're feeling because it has its own feelings about 0:23:07.000 --> 0:23:10.520 the situation. It's just going to follow the thread. Use 0:23:10.560 --> 0:23:13.399 this when you're triggered, Use this when you have overreacted. 0:23:13.800 --> 0:23:16.080 Use this when you're feeling something big and you don't 0:23:16.160 --> 0:23:19.720 understand why the pattern is always there. You just need 0:23:19.760 --> 0:23:23.439 someone to help you dig u seven Write the letter 0:23:23.680 --> 0:23:27.160 you'll never send. This is the most emotionally powerful use 0:23:27.200 --> 0:23:30.240 on this list, and it costs you nothing but honesty. 0:23:30.760 --> 0:23:33.479 There's someone in your life, past or present, who you 0:23:33.480 --> 0:23:36.840 have unfinished business with, someone you never said the real 0:23:36.880 --> 0:23:39.240 thing to. Maybe it's a parent who hurt you in 0:23:39.320 --> 0:23:43.000 ways they'll never understand. Maybe it's a friend who betrayed 0:23:43.040 --> 0:23:46.080 you and you never confronted them. Maybe it's a younger 0:23:46.160 --> 0:23:49.720 version of yourself that you've been punishing for years. Maybe 0:23:49.760 --> 0:23:52.399 it's someone who died before you could tell them what 0:23:52.480 --> 0:23:55.320 they meant to you. Dr James pen Baker, the same 0:23:55.359 --> 0:23:59.879 researcher I mentioned earlier, found that writing unsent letters to 0:24:00.080 --> 0:24:03.320 people who have hurt you, disappointed you, or left your 0:24:03.400 --> 0:24:09.680 life produces measurable psychological and physiological healing. Participants who engaged 0:24:09.720 --> 0:24:14.720 in expressive writing about their deepest relational wounds showed reduced depression, 0:24:15.040 --> 0:24:20.000 improved emotional regulation, and even enhanced immune function, effects that 0:24:20.040 --> 0:24:23.919 persisted for months after the writing. The reason this works 0:24:24.040 --> 0:24:28.680 is that unresolved emotional business takes up active cognitive resources. 0:24:29.240 --> 0:24:33.879 Doctor E. J. Masseycambo and doctor Roy Baumeister published research 0:24:34.160 --> 0:24:39.880 showing that unfulfilled goals and unresolved experiences occupy working memory, 0:24:40.320 --> 0:24:45.000 fragmenting attention, and draining mental energy. Your brain treats them 0:24:45.119 --> 0:24:48.560 like open browser tabs. They're always running in the background, 0:24:48.920 --> 0:24:52.640 consuming resources even when you're not looking at them. Writing 0:24:52.680 --> 0:24:56.600 the letter closes the tab, not because the person reads it, 0:24:57.119 --> 0:25:00.800 because your brain, through the act of structured expression, moves 0:25:00.840 --> 0:25:06.320 the experience from active processing into resolved memory. Here's the prompt. 0:25:06.760 --> 0:25:09.200 I need to write a letter I'm never going to send. 0:25:09.680 --> 0:25:13.719 It's two. Describe the person in your relationship. Here's everything 0:25:13.760 --> 0:25:17.080 I've been carrying that I never said. Let it all out, 0:25:17.160 --> 0:25:19.520 the anger, the grief, to love, the confusion, the hurt, 0:25:19.560 --> 0:25:23.639 whatever's real. I want you to help me do two things. First, 0:25:23.720 --> 0:25:26.080 take what I've written and reflect back to me the 0:25:26.119 --> 0:25:30.199 core emotions and unmet needs underneath all of it. What 0:25:30.320 --> 0:25:33.919