1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:03,600 Speaker 1: I need to tell you something and it might frustrate you. 2 00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:06,640 Speaker 1: You have access to what is arguably the most powerful 3 00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:11,240 Speaker 1: personal development tool ever created in human history. It's sitting 4 00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:14,440 Speaker 1: on your phone right now. You probably used it this morning, 5 00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:17,840 Speaker 1: and you're using it to write emails, fixed grammar, and 6 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:20,800 Speaker 1: ask it what to make for dinner. That's like being 7 00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:23,360 Speaker 1: handed a private jet and using it to store luggage. 8 00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:28,000 Speaker 1: I'm talking about AI, Chat, GPT, Claude, whatever you use. 9 00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:30,680 Speaker 1: And before you roll your eyes and think this is 10 00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:34,960 Speaker 1: another ten AI hacks to boost your productivity episode, it's not. 11 00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:37,599 Speaker 1: I'm not going to teach you how to automate your 12 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:41,280 Speaker 1: inbox or write better LinkedIn posts. I'm going to show 13 00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:44,040 Speaker 1: you how to use this tool to do something that 14 00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:47,839 Speaker 1: no app, no course, or no journal has ever been 15 00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:51,800 Speaker 1: able to do at this speed. Have an honest, structured, 16 00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:56,520 Speaker 1: zero judgment conversation with yourself about who you are, what 17 00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:59,920 Speaker 1: you actually want, where you're stuck, and what to do 18 00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:04,000 Speaker 1: about it. Because here's what nobody is talking about. The 19 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:08,600 Speaker 1: most powerful use of AI is not productivity. It's self awareness. 20 00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:13,000 Speaker 1: And self awareness is the single skill that predicts success 21 00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:17,800 Speaker 1: in relationships, korea, health, and mental wellbeing more than IQ 22 00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:23,000 Speaker 1: more than talent, more than education, more than connections. Doctor 23 00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:26,959 Speaker 1: Tasha Yurick's research found that although ninety five percent of 24 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:31,280 Speaker 1: people believe their self aware, only about ten to fifteen 25 00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:35,200 Speaker 1: percent of people actually are. That gap between who you 26 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:38,720 Speaker 1: think you are and who you actually are is where 27 00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:42,199 Speaker 1: most of your problems live. And for the first time 28 00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:44,680 Speaker 1: in history, you have a tool that can help you 29 00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:48,680 Speaker 1: close that gap on demand, at midnight, without an appointment, 30 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:51,640 Speaker 1: without the fear of being judged, without the pride that 31 00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:55,000 Speaker 1: keeps you from being honest with another human being. Now, 32 00:01:55,120 --> 00:01:57,160 Speaker 1: I do want to be really careful before I go 33 00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:59,920 Speaker 1: on and say this. AI is not a replacement of 34 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:02,920 Speaker 1: human connection. If you try to do that, it will 35 00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:06,040 Speaker 1: probably worseen your life. But it is a great place 36 00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:10,200 Speaker 1: to reflect, to have deeper, more profound conversations with the 37 00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:13,200 Speaker 1: people around you. It is an incredible tool for self 38 00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:17,119 Speaker 1: awareness that you can use to then elevate and connect 39 00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:20,600 Speaker 1: with other people around you. Do not let AI replace 40 00:02:20,680 --> 00:02:23,680 Speaker 1: humans in your life. It won't serve you well. And 41 00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:26,359 Speaker 1: at the same time, don't forget that even though it 42 00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:28,600 Speaker 1: doesn't judge you, sometimes it does hype you up for 43 00:02:28,639 --> 00:02:30,520 Speaker 1: no reason. So you've got to be careful about that 44 00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:33,440 Speaker 1: as well. Today I'm going to give you seven ways 45 00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:36,840 Speaker 1: to use AI as the most powerful personal growth tool 46 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:42,360 Speaker 1: you've ever touched. Not theory, exact prompts, exact frameworks, things 47 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:44,680 Speaker 1: you can do tonight that will show you parts of 48 00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:48,839 Speaker 1: yourself you've been avoiding for years. But first I need 49 00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:52,280 Speaker 1: to reframe what this tool actually is, because the way 50 00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:55,359 Speaker 1: you think about it right now is the reason you're 51 00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:58,760 Speaker 1: wasting it. Most people think of chat GPT as a 52 00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:01,720 Speaker 1: search engine that talks back. You ask it a question, 53 00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:05,120 Speaker 1: it gives you an answer. That's level one. That's the 54 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:09,119 Speaker 1: luggage in the private jet. Here's what chat GBT actually 55 00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:14,239 Speaker 1: is when you use it correctly. It's an externalized thinking partner. 56 00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:17,959 Speaker 1: It's a mirror that talks. It's the conversation you need 57 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:21,200 Speaker 1: to have with yourself but can't because when you try 58 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:24,160 Speaker 1: to think about your own life, your own patterns, your 59 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:28,640 Speaker 1: own blind spots, your brain does something incredibly unhelpful. It 60 00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:34,080 Speaker 1: protects you. Psychologists call this the introspection illusion. Dr Emily 61 00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:38,280 Speaker 1: Pronin at Princeton has published research showing that when we 62 00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:42,440 Speaker 1: look inward, we don't actually see ourselves clearly. We see 63 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:47,080 Speaker 1: a curated, self serving narrative. We skip over the uncomfortable parts. 64 00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:51,920 Speaker 1: We rationalize. We reframe failures as bad luck and successes 65 00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:55,840 Speaker 1: as talent. Not because we're dishonest, but because the brain's 66 00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:59,920 Speaker 1: job is to maintain a coherent self image, and co 67 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:04,760 Speaker 1: adherence requires editing. This is why journaling often goes in circles. 68 00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:07,720 Speaker 1: This is why thinking about your problems at two am 69 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:10,760 Speaker 1: makes them worse, not better. This is why talking to 70 00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:15,400 Speaker 1: yourself and your own head rarely produces breakthroughs. Your brain 71 00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:19,640 Speaker 1: is both the investigator and the suspect. It can't interrogate 72 00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:23,159 Speaker 1: itself honestly. But when you type your thoughts into chat 73 00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:29,080 Speaker 1: GPT and ask it to reflect them back to you reorganized, reframed, challenged, 74 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:33,159 Speaker 1: you're doing something your brain can't always do alone. You're 75 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:38,240 Speaker 1: creating cognitive distance. You're externalizing the internal monologue so you 76 00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:41,240 Speaker 1: can look at it instead of being trapped inside it. 77 00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:44,560 Speaker 1: Doctor Ethan Cross at the University of Michigan, one of 78 00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:48,880 Speaker 1: the leading researchers on self talk and emotional regulation, has 79 00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:53,680 Speaker 1: shown that even small acts of psychological distancing, like referring 80 00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:57,560 Speaker 1: to yourself in the third person, dramatically improve your ability 81 00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:01,560 Speaker 1: to reason about your own problems. You gain clarity the 82 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:04,839 Speaker 1: moment you stop being inside the thought and start looking 83 00:05:04,839 --> 00:05:08,280 Speaker 1: at it from the outside. Chat GBT doesn't just give 84 00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:12,320 Speaker 1: you distance. It gives you structured distance. It can organize 85 00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:15,240 Speaker 1: your chaos. It can find the pattern in your rambling. 86 00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:18,000 Speaker 1: It can ask the follow up question you'd never think 87 00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:21,279 Speaker 1: to ask yourself, because your ego is standing in the way. 88 00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:24,760 Speaker 1: That's what we're going to use it for today. The 89 00:05:24,880 --> 00:05:29,680 Speaker 1: seven uses. Use number one, the life audit you've been avoiding. 90 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:32,240 Speaker 1: Let's start with the thing most people will never do 91 00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:35,720 Speaker 1: on their own because it's too uncomfortable and too overwhelming. 92 00:05:36,279 --> 00:05:40,320 Speaker 1: Most people have never sat down and honestly evaluated where 93 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:44,080 Speaker 1: they actually stand across the major areas of their life, 94 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:47,120 Speaker 1: not where they think they stand, not where they tell 95 00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:52,839 Speaker 1: people they stand, where they actually stand health relationships, career finances, 96 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:57,679 Speaker 1: mental state, personal growth. Purpose. The reason most people avoid 97 00:05:57,760 --> 00:06:01,400 Speaker 1: this is simple. Confronting The gap between where you are 98 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:04,760 Speaker 1: and where you want to be triggers what psychologists call 99 00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:10,880 Speaker 1: cognitive dissonance, the discomfort of holding two contradictory beliefs simultaneously. 100 00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:14,520 Speaker 1: I believe I'm someone who has their life together versus 101 00:06:14,839 --> 00:06:17,640 Speaker 1: I haven't exercised in four months and I'm in debt. 102 00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:22,320 Speaker 1: The brain resolves this discomfort not by changing behavior, but 103 00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:26,200 Speaker 1: by avoiding the information. You don't look at your bank account, 104 00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:28,680 Speaker 1: you don't step on the scale. You don't ask yourself 105 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:33,880 Speaker 1: hard questions, because not knowing is more comfortable than knowing 106 00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:38,919 Speaker 1: and not acting. Chadibt eliminates the social cost of this honesty. 107 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:42,520 Speaker 1: There's no face on the other side, no judgment, no pity, 108 00:06:42,839 --> 00:06:45,200 Speaker 1: no one who will bring this up at dinner next week. 109 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:48,599 Speaker 1: Here's the prompt, and I mean use this word for word. 110 00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:52,280 Speaker 1: I want to do an honest life audit. I'm going 111 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:54,600 Speaker 1: to rate the following areas of my life from one 112 00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:58,200 Speaker 1: to ten and give you a brutally honest description of 113 00:06:58,279 --> 00:07:01,560 Speaker 1: where I am in each one. After I'm done, I 114 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:05,000 Speaker 1: want you to identify the patterns you see, the areas 115 00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:07,960 Speaker 1: where I'm lying to myself, and the one change in 116 00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:12,240 Speaker 1: each area that would create the most momentum be useful. 117 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:17,720 Speaker 1: The areas of physical health, mental health, romantic relationship, friendships, 118 00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:22,640 Speaker 1: career fulfillment, finances, and fun. I'll go one at a time, 119 00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:27,000 Speaker 1: then go through each one. Don't perform, don't write what 120 00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:31,000 Speaker 1: you tell someone you're trying to impress write what's actually true. 121 00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:34,440 Speaker 1: The messier the better. What you'll get back will make 122 00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:38,760 Speaker 1: you uncomfortable. That's how you know it's working. Chat GPT 123 00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:41,200 Speaker 1: will find the thread between your three out of ten 124 00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:43,760 Speaker 1: in health and your four out of ten in energy 125 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:46,640 Speaker 1: and your five out of ten in career fulfillment and 126 00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:50,400 Speaker 1: say something like, the pattern here suggests that your physical 127 00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:55,560 Speaker 1: neglect isn't separate from your professional stagnation. They're feeding each other. 128 00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:58,960 Speaker 1: That's not a generic insight. That's a connection your brain 129 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,880 Speaker 1: wouldn't make on its own because it's been too busy 130 00:08:02,040 --> 00:08:05,840 Speaker 1: keeping those categories in separate mental drawers so they don't 131 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:09,960 Speaker 1: confront each other. Do this once, just once. It will 132 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:13,560 Speaker 1: reorganize how you see your own life. Use number two, 133 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:18,280 Speaker 1: reverse engineer your self sabotaged patterns. This one's gonna feel 134 00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:21,520 Speaker 1: like being read by a psychic, except it's not psychic. 135 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:25,120 Speaker 1: It's pattern recognition, and pattern recognition is what AI does 136 00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:28,160 Speaker 1: better than any human on the planet. Here's the truth. 137 00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:32,040 Speaker 1: Most people resist. You don't have a hundred problems. You 138 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:36,560 Speaker 1: have two or three problems that are creating one hundred symptoms. 139 00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:40,840 Speaker 1: Let me say that again. You don't have one hundred problems. 140 00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:44,280 Speaker 1: You have two or three problems that are creating one 141 00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:48,680 Speaker 1: hundred symptoms. The person who can't commit in relationships is 142 00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:51,480 Speaker 1: often the same person who can't finish projects at work 143 00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:54,520 Speaker 1: and also can't stick with a workout program. It's not 144 00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:59,200 Speaker 1: three separate failures. It's one pattern, likely a fear of completion, 145 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:04,920 Speaker 1: because completion invites judgment, expressing itself across multiple domains. But 146 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:07,400 Speaker 1: you'll never see that pattern on your own because from 147 00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:11,000 Speaker 1: inside your life, each problem looks separate. Each failure has 148 00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:14,440 Speaker 1: its own story, its own justification, its own but that 149 00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:18,760 Speaker 1: situation's different. Here's the prompt. I'm going to describe five 150 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:23,920 Speaker 1: situations where I felt stuck, failed, self, sabotaged, or quit 151 00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:27,320 Speaker 1: something important. I want you to analyze them not as 152 00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:31,800 Speaker 1: separate events, but as expressions of a deeper pattern. What 153 00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:35,560 Speaker 1: am I actually afraid of? What belief about myself is 154 00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:39,040 Speaker 1: driving this? What is the hidden payoff I'm getting from 155 00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:43,120 Speaker 1: this pattern, the thing it protects me from. Be direct, 156 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:48,439 Speaker 1: don't sugarcoat it. Then describe five situations. The relationship that 157 00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:50,920 Speaker 1: didn't work out, the job you quit right when it 158 00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:54,080 Speaker 1: was getting good, the goal you abandoned at seventy percent 159 00:09:54,559 --> 00:09:58,160 Speaker 1: the conversation you avoided. The opportunity you talk to yourself 160 00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:02,280 Speaker 1: out of what comes back will be uncomfortable because AI 161 00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:04,680 Speaker 1: doesn't have a stake in your self image. It just 162 00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:07,920 Speaker 1: sees the data, and the data usually tells a story 163 00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:10,959 Speaker 1: you've been avoiding. I had someone tell me they did this, 164 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:15,960 Speaker 1: and the response identified that every situation they described involved 165 00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:22,520 Speaker 1: leaving before they could be evaluated, not failing leaving. Most 166 00:10:22,559 --> 00:10:26,440 Speaker 1: of us leave something because of a fear of judgment 167 00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:30,240 Speaker 1: before we ever fail. Most of us don't start something 168 00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:34,320 Speaker 1: because we're scared of judgment before we even try. Because 169 00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:37,560 Speaker 1: somewhere deep in their operating system was the belief that 170 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:42,240 Speaker 1: being evaluated would reveal that we weren't enough. So we 171 00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:45,360 Speaker 1: built a life that looked like I just haven't found 172 00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:49,240 Speaker 1: my thing, when the truth was I keep quitting before 173 00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:52,920 Speaker 1: anyone can graide my work. That's not a productivity problem. 174 00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:57,120 Speaker 1: That's a core wound wearing one hundred different costumes, and 175 00:10:57,200 --> 00:11:00,280 Speaker 1: once you see it, you can't unsee it. That's the 176 00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:05,400 Speaker 1: beginning of change. Use number three, build your personal operating system. 177 00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:09,720 Speaker 1: This is where it goes from reflection to architecture. Most 178 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:12,720 Speaker 1: people don't have a personal operating system. They have a 179 00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:17,200 Speaker 1: collection of reactions. Something happens, they respond, Someone says something, 180 00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:20,640 Speaker 1: they react. The day throws a problem at them, they scramble. 181 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:25,920 Speaker 1: There's no underlying framework, no principles. They've actually articulated, no 182 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:30,040 Speaker 1: rules of engagement with their own life. They're improvising every 183 00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:34,160 Speaker 1: day and wondering why they feel chaotic. The most effective 184 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:38,439 Speaker 1: people in history operated from a small set of deliberately 185 00:11:38,559 --> 00:11:44,600 Speaker 1: chosen principles that govern their decisions, not goals principles. Ray 186 00:11:44,679 --> 00:11:48,079 Speaker 1: Dahlio build the world's largest hedge fund and credits his 187 00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:52,880 Speaker 1: success almost entirely to what he calls his principles, a 188 00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:57,000 Speaker 1: written operating system for decision making. The Stoics carried a 189 00:11:57,000 --> 00:12:01,160 Speaker 1: small set of maxims they reviewed daily. Benjamin Franklin track 190 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:05,559 Speaker 1: thirteen virtues on a weekly scorecard. You can build your 191 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:08,880 Speaker 1: own and chat GPT can help you build it from 192 00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:13,520 Speaker 1: your own experience instead of someone else's book. Here's the prompt. 193 00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:17,200 Speaker 1: I want to build a personal operating system, a set 194 00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:22,480 Speaker 1: of five to seven core principles that will guide my decisions, relationships, 195 00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:26,160 Speaker 1: and daily behavior. But I don't want generic principles from 196 00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:28,640 Speaker 1: a book. I want you to help me extract them 197 00:12:28,679 --> 00:12:31,520 Speaker 1: from my actual life. I'm going to tell you about 198 00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:35,240 Speaker 1: my biggest regrets, my proudest moments, and the lessons I've 199 00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:38,160 Speaker 1: learned the hard way. From those, I want you to 200 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:42,000 Speaker 1: distill the principles that are already inside me, the ones 201 00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:47,000 Speaker 1: I discovered through experience but never formally articulated. Then format 202 00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:50,400 Speaker 1: them into a personal code I can review every morning. 203 00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:53,320 Speaker 1: Then give it the raw material. Tell it about the 204 00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:55,720 Speaker 1: time you said yes when you should have said no, 205 00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:59,440 Speaker 1: the moment you were proudest of yourself and why, the 206 00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:02,600 Speaker 1: relationship that taught you the most, the failure that changed 207 00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:06,360 Speaker 1: your trajectory, the value you hold that you'd never compromise on. 208 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:10,600 Speaker 1: What comes back is not a motivational poster. It's a 209 00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:13,880 Speaker 1: mirror of your own hard won wisdom organized into a 210 00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:18,280 Speaker 1: structure you can actually use. Most people walk around carrying 211 00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:21,200 Speaker 1: profound life lessons that are just floating in the back 212 00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:25,760 Speaker 1: of their mind, unstructured and unused. This process pulls them out, 213 00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:29,599 Speaker 1: names them, and turns them into a decision making framework 214 00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:33,480 Speaker 1: that is uniquely yours. Print it, put it on your wall, 215 00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:37,000 Speaker 1: put it as your phone's wallpaper. Read it every morning. 216 00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:40,440 Speaker 1: Not because someone told you, but because These are the 217 00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:43,920 Speaker 1: principles your own pain taught you. You just never wrote 218 00:13:43,960 --> 00:14:08,800 Speaker 1: them down. Use four. Have the conversation you're afraid to 219 00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:11,320 Speaker 1: have before you have it. This is one of the 220 00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:15,160 Speaker 1: most practically powerful uses of AI for personal growth, and 221 00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:18,640 Speaker 1: almost nobody's doing it. You have a conversation you're avoiding 222 00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:21,160 Speaker 1: right now. I know you do. Maybe it's with your 223 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:24,280 Speaker 1: partner about something that's been bothering you for months. Maybe 224 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,680 Speaker 1: it's with your boss about your role. Maybe it's with 225 00:14:26,760 --> 00:14:29,200 Speaker 1: a friend who crossed a boundary. Maybe it's with a 226 00:14:29,240 --> 00:14:32,480 Speaker 1: parent about something that happened years ago. You're avoiding it 227 00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:35,480 Speaker 1: for one of two reasons. Either you don't know how 228 00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:38,680 Speaker 1: to say what you feel without it going sideways, or 229 00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:42,480 Speaker 1: you're afraid of the response you'll get. Usually both. Here's 230 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:46,160 Speaker 1: what most people do. Instead. They've rehearsed a conversation in 231 00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:50,600 Speaker 1: their head, over and over, playing both parts, writing the 232 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:54,040 Speaker 1: other person's dialogue for them based on their worst assumptions, 233 00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:57,000 Speaker 1: and by the time they've rehearsed it forty times in 234 00:14:57,040 --> 00:15:00,600 Speaker 1: the shower, they've worked themselves into such an emotiontional state 235 00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:04,640 Speaker 1: that either they explode when they finally have it, or 236 00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:08,520 Speaker 1: they've convinced themselves it's not worth having at all. Dr 237 00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:11,600 Speaker 1: James pen Baker's research at the University of Texas at 238 00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:15,920 Speaker 1: Austin decades of work on expressive writing shows that the 239 00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:20,840 Speaker 1: act of putting difficult emotions into structured language reduces their 240 00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:27,120 Speaker 1: physiological impact. Literally, people who wrote about their deepest conflicts 241 00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:32,560 Speaker 1: showed improved immune function, lower blood pressure, and reduced anxiety 242 00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:37,080 Speaker 1: compared to people who kept those conflicts internal. It's not 243 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:41,600 Speaker 1: the feeling that hurts you, it's the unstructured, unspoken feeling 244 00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:46,040 Speaker 1: that hurts you. Chat GBT lets you structure the unspoken. 245 00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:49,720 Speaker 1: Here's the prompt. I need to have a difficult conversation 246 00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:54,640 Speaker 1: with the person their role, not their name. Here's the situation. 247 00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:58,440 Speaker 1: Describe it honestly. Here's what I feel but haven't said. 248 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:02,200 Speaker 1: Get it all out, don't filter. Here's what I'm afraid 249 00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:05,320 Speaker 1: will happen if I say it. Name the fear. I 250 00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:08,560 Speaker 1: want you to help me do three things. First, help 251 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:12,040 Speaker 1: me clarify what I actually need from this conversation, not 252 00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:15,600 Speaker 1: what I want to say, but what outcome I need. Second, 253 00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:20,040 Speaker 1: help me find the words that are honest but not destructive. Third, 254 00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:22,920 Speaker 1: play the role of this person and respond the way 255 00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:26,640 Speaker 1: they're most likely to respond, so I can practice navigating it. 256 00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:30,520 Speaker 1: That third part is where it gets transformational. You can 257 00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:34,840 Speaker 1: actually have the conversation with chatchbt playing the other person, 258 00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:37,960 Speaker 1: not in a manipulative, give me the script a win way, 259 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:41,200 Speaker 1: but in a let me practice saying the truth out loud, 260 00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:43,960 Speaker 1: so it's not the first time these words leave my 261 00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:48,600 Speaker 1: body way. Athletes visualize before they compete. They train too. 262 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:52,520 Speaker 1: They train the exact ways and methods and strategies that 263 00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:56,560 Speaker 1: they're going to play. Surgeons rehearse before they operate. Why 264 00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:59,200 Speaker 1: would you go into the most important conversation of your 265 00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:03,040 Speaker 1: year without a single practice rep And here's what happens 266 00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:06,119 Speaker 1: that most people don't expect. Often, in the process of 267 00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:09,159 Speaker 1: writing out what you feel and what you need, you 268 00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:12,600 Speaker 1: realize the conversation you thought you needed to have is 269 00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:16,280 Speaker 1: not the conversation you actually need to have. The real 270 00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:21,399 Speaker 1: issue surfaces, the real need clarifies, and sometimes the conversation 271 00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:25,879 Speaker 1: becomes unnecessary because the act of externalizing and structuring the 272 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:30,800 Speaker 1: feeling was itself the resolution. Use five build a custom 273 00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:34,520 Speaker 1: accountability system that actually works. Let me tell you why 274 00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:38,440 Speaker 1: most accountability fails. It fails because it's built on motivation, 275 00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:42,560 Speaker 1: and motivation is neurologically one of the least reliable systems 276 00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:46,360 Speaker 1: in the human brain. Motivation is governed largely by dopamine, 277 00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:50,960 Speaker 1: and dopamine is not a reward chemical, it's an anticipation chemical. 278 00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:53,840 Speaker 1: Doctor Andrew Huberman, who we've had as a guest on 279 00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:58,240 Speaker 1: the show, has explained this extensively. Dopamine surges when you 280 00:17:58,280 --> 00:18:02,120 Speaker 1: anticipate a reward, not when you receive it. This means 281 00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:04,720 Speaker 1: you get a rush of motivation when you set a goal, 282 00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:08,560 Speaker 1: buy the gym membership, write the plan, and then dopamine 283 00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:12,840 Speaker 1: drops because the anticipation is over. The actual work has 284 00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:16,159 Speaker 1: no chemical reward attached to it. This is why you 285 00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:20,760 Speaker 1: have eleven and a half finished journals, four abandoned morning routines, 286 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:24,320 Speaker 1: and a meditation app you haven't opened since January. The 287 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:28,960 Speaker 1: solution isn't more motivation. It's a system that doesn't require motivation. 288 00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:32,560 Speaker 1: And this is where chat GBT becomes something no human 289 00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:36,439 Speaker 1: accountability partner can be. Here's the prompt, I want you 290 00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:40,080 Speaker 1: to be my accountability partner. Here's the one habit I'm 291 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:43,600 Speaker 1: trying to build. Name it. Here's my history with it. 292 00:18:44,119 --> 00:18:46,479 Speaker 1: How many times I've tried and failed, and why I 293 00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:50,159 Speaker 1: think I keep failing. Be honest. Here's what my typical 294 00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:53,119 Speaker 1: day looks like. Describe it. I want you to design 295 00:18:53,119 --> 00:18:56,639 Speaker 1: a system for me that is so small I can't fail. 296 00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:59,320 Speaker 1: At the starting point, then, I want you to check 297 00:18:59,359 --> 00:19:02,080 Speaker 1: in with me every time I message you by asking 298 00:19:02,119 --> 00:19:05,360 Speaker 1: me one specific question about whether I did it. If 299 00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:09,160 Speaker 1: I make excuses, call me out, not harshly, but directly. 300 00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:12,919 Speaker 1: If I'm struggling, help me adjust the system, not abandon it. 301 00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:16,920 Speaker 1: Track my streak, Celebrate the wins. And if I disappear 302 00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:19,160 Speaker 1: for a few days, the first thing you should say 303 00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:23,119 Speaker 1: when I come back is welcome back, no judgment. Let's 304 00:19:23,119 --> 00:19:26,959 Speaker 1: start again. The key here is so small, I can't fail. 305 00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:31,320 Speaker 1: This is based on doctor bj Fogg's research at Stanford 306 00:19:31,359 --> 00:19:35,359 Speaker 1: on behavior design. Fogg's work, developed over decades and tested 307 00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:39,040 Speaker 1: across thousands of participants, shows that the most effective way 308 00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:42,480 Speaker 1: to build a habit is not to set ambitious targets. 309 00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:45,600 Speaker 1: It's to make the initial behavior so tiny that it 310 00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:50,600 Speaker 1: requires almost zero motivation. One to meditate, start with one breath. 311 00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:54,280 Speaker 1: One to exercise, start with putting your shoes on. The 312 00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:58,600 Speaker 1: behavior itself is almost irrelevant at the start. What matters 313 00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:02,280 Speaker 1: is the repetition, because repetition is what builds the neural 314 00:20:02,359 --> 00:20:07,720 Speaker 1: pathway that eventually becomes automatic. Chat GBT won't forget it, 315 00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:10,040 Speaker 1: it won't get tired of asking, it won't judge you 316 00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:13,480 Speaker 1: for failing on day three, and most importantly, it won't 317 00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:16,800 Speaker 1: let you quietly abandon the commitment the way you would 318 00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:20,880 Speaker 1: if nobody was watching. You're not weak for needing a system. 319 00:20:21,359 --> 00:20:27,840 Speaker 1: You're human. Willpower is a finite neurochemical resource. Systems are infinite. 320 00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:31,760 Speaker 1: Use number six decode your emotional patterns in real time. 321 00:20:32,359 --> 00:20:34,840 Speaker 1: This one is closest to therapy, and I want to 322 00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:38,800 Speaker 1: be clear. Chat GBT is not a therapist. It is 323 00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:42,200 Speaker 1: not a replacement for professional mental health support. If you're 324 00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:47,280 Speaker 1: dealing with clinical depression, trauma, or crisis, please seek professional help. 325 00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:51,040 Speaker 1: But here's what CHATGBT can do that is genuinely transformative 326 00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:53,840 Speaker 1: for the millions of people who aren't in crisis but 327 00:20:53,920 --> 00:21:00,400 Speaker 1: are emotionally stuck. Most people can describe what they feel angry, sad, anxious, frustraited, 328 00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:04,760 Speaker 1: but almost nobody can explain why they feel it. Not 329 00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:08,480 Speaker 1: the surface reason, not the trigger, the real reason. You 330 00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:11,000 Speaker 1: think you're anger, at your partner for not doing the dishes, 331 00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:15,040 Speaker 1: but the anger is disproportionate to the offense. The real 332 00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:18,800 Speaker 1: trigger is that the undone dishes activated a belief you've 333 00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:22,240 Speaker 1: been carrying since earlier in your life that your needs 334 00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:24,880 Speaker 1: don't matter, that you'll always be the one who has 335 00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:27,640 Speaker 1: to carry things, that no one shows up for you. 336 00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:31,959 Speaker 1: Doctor Lisa Feldman Barrett, one of the most cited neuroscientists Alive, 337 00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:37,280 Speaker 1: has demonstrated through her research Unconstructed Emotion, that emotions are 338 00:21:37,359 --> 00:21:43,399 Speaker 1: not hardwired reactions. They're constructed by the brain using past experience, context, 339 00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:46,760 Speaker 1: and prediction. Your anger at the dishes is not about 340 00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:50,879 Speaker 1: the dishes. It's your brain constructing an emotional response based 341 00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:54,000 Speaker 1: on a lifetime of similar patterns. But you'll never see 342 00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:57,960 Speaker 1: that construction in real time, not without an outside perspective 343 00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:01,280 Speaker 1: that can trace the thread. Here is the prompt. I'm 344 00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:04,480 Speaker 1: having a strong emotional reaction right now, and I want 345 00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:07,880 Speaker 1: to understand it, not just feel it. Here's what happened. 346 00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:11,879 Speaker 1: Describe the situation. Here's what I feel. Name the emotions. 347 00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:14,560 Speaker 1: Here's how intense it is on a scale of one 348 00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:17,639 Speaker 1: to ten. Rate it. Now, here's what I need you 349 00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:21,280 Speaker 1: to do. The intensity of my reaction probably doesn't match 350 00:22:21,359 --> 00:22:24,400 Speaker 1: the size of the event. That means this is triggering 351 00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:28,280 Speaker 1: something deeper. Ask me questions one at a time to 352 00:22:28,359 --> 00:22:31,399 Speaker 1: help me trace this feeling back to its real source, 353 00:22:32,119 --> 00:22:36,119 Speaker 1: not the surface, trigger the original wound. Help me find 354 00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:38,840 Speaker 1: the pattern and then let it. Ask you questions, one 355 00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:41,280 Speaker 1: at a time. When was the first time you remember 356 00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:44,040 Speaker 1: feeling this way? Who in your early life made you 357 00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:47,760 Speaker 1: feel like your needs were an inconvenience? What would you 358 00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:51,040 Speaker 1: need to hear right now from the person who originally 359 00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:54,000 Speaker 1: made you feel this way. This is essentially a guided 360 00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:58,320 Speaker 1: emotional excavation, and it works because the AI has no agenda. 361 00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:01,560 Speaker 1: It's not going to redirect to its own problems. It's 362 00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:04,359 Speaker 1: not going to get uncomfortable. It's not going to minimize 363 00:23:04,359 --> 00:23:07,000 Speaker 1: what you're feeling because it has its own feelings about 364 00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:10,520 Speaker 1: the situation. It's just going to follow the thread. Use 365 00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:13,399 Speaker 1: this when you're triggered, Use this when you have overreacted. 366 00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:16,080 Speaker 1: Use this when you're feeling something big and you don't 367 00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:19,720 Speaker 1: understand why the pattern is always there. You just need 368 00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:23,439 Speaker 1: someone to help you dig u seven Write the letter 369 00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:27,160 Speaker 1: you'll never send. This is the most emotionally powerful use 370 00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:30,240 Speaker 1: on this list, and it costs you nothing but honesty. 371 00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:33,479 Speaker 1: There's someone in your life, past or present, who you 372 00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:36,840 Speaker 1: have unfinished business with, someone you never said the real 373 00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:39,240 Speaker 1: thing to. Maybe it's a parent who hurt you in 374 00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:43,000 Speaker 1: ways they'll never understand. Maybe it's a friend who betrayed 375 00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:46,080 Speaker 1: you and you never confronted them. Maybe it's a younger 376 00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:49,720 Speaker 1: version of yourself that you've been punishing for years. Maybe 377 00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:52,399 Speaker 1: it's someone who died before you could tell them what 378 00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:55,320 Speaker 1: they meant to you. Dr James pen Baker, the same 379 00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:59,879 Speaker 1: researcher I mentioned earlier, found that writing unsent letters to 380 00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:03,320 Speaker 1: people who have hurt you, disappointed you, or left your 381 00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:09,680 Speaker 1: life produces measurable psychological and physiological healing. Participants who engaged 382 00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:14,720 Speaker 1: in expressive writing about their deepest relational wounds showed reduced depression, 383 00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:20,000 Speaker 1: improved emotional regulation, and even enhanced immune function, effects that 384 00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:23,919 Speaker 1: persisted for months after the writing. The reason this works 385 00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:28,680 Speaker 1: is that unresolved emotional business takes up active cognitive resources. 386 00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:33,879 Speaker 1: Doctor E. J. Masseycambo and doctor Roy Baumeister published research 387 00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:39,880 Speaker 1: showing that unfulfilled goals and unresolved experiences occupy working memory, 388 00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:45,000 Speaker 1: fragmenting attention, and draining mental energy. Your brain treats them 389 00:24:45,119 --> 00:24:48,560 Speaker 1: like open browser tabs. They're always running in the background, 390 00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:52,640 Speaker 1: consuming resources even when you're not looking at them. Writing 391 00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:56,600 Speaker 1: the letter closes the tab, not because the person reads it, 392 00:24:57,119 --> 00:25:00,800 Speaker 1: because your brain, through the act of structured expression, moves 393 00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:06,320 Speaker 1: the experience from active processing into resolved memory. Here's the prompt. 394 00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:09,200 Speaker 1: I need to write a letter I'm never going to send. 395 00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:13,719 Speaker 1: It's two. Describe the person in your relationship. Here's everything 396 00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:17,080 Speaker 1: I've been carrying that I never said. Let it all out, 397 00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:19,520 Speaker 1: the anger, the grief, to love, the confusion, the hurt, 398 00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:23,639 Speaker 1: whatever's real. I want you to help me do two things. First, 399 00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:26,080 Speaker 1: take what I've written and reflect back to me the 400 00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:30,199 Speaker 1: core emotions and unmet needs underneath all of it. What 401 00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:33,919 Speaker 1: I was really asking for that I never received. Second, 402 00:25:34,119 --> 00:25:36,800 Speaker 1: help me write a final version of this letter that 403 00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:41,280 Speaker 1: is completely honest, completely unfiltered, and says everything I need 404 00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:44,320 Speaker 1: to say is if I had no fear of consequences. 405 00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:47,359 Speaker 1: Do not edit yourself when you write the raw version. 406 00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:51,919 Speaker 1: Don't make it fair, don't be balanced, don't consider their perspective. 407 00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:54,960 Speaker 1: That's not what this is for. This is for you. 408 00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:57,600 Speaker 1: This is the thing you've been carrying in your chest 409 00:25:57,640 --> 00:26:00,960 Speaker 1: for years that you've never put into language because there's 410 00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:03,560 Speaker 1: never a safe space to put it. Here's what I 411 00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:05,840 Speaker 1: want you to sit with. You spend hours on your 412 00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:08,760 Speaker 1: phone every day, scrolling content that was engineered to hold 413 00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:12,000 Speaker 1: your attention but not improve your life. You consume other 414 00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:16,200 Speaker 1: people's thoughts, other people's opinions, other people's arguments, other people's 415 00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:19,320 Speaker 1: carefully curated highlight reels, and at the end of the day, 416 00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:23,440 Speaker 1: you haven't spent a single minute in structured conversation with yourself. 417 00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:26,000 Speaker 1: You know yourself less at the end of the day 418 00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:28,600 Speaker 1: than you did at the beginning, because every piece of 419 00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:32,480 Speaker 1: external content you consumed pushed you further from your own 420 00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:36,800 Speaker 1: signal and deeper into everyone else's noise. The tool that 421 00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:40,160 Speaker 1: could change that is already on your phone. It's already free. 422 00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:43,240 Speaker 1: It's already available at midnight when you can't sleep because 423 00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:46,520 Speaker 1: your brain won't stop running, It's already there at six am, 424 00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:48,919 Speaker 1: when you start staring at the ceiling wondering why you 425 00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:52,600 Speaker 1: feel stuck. All you need is ten minutes. Give it 426 00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:55,040 Speaker 1: a go and let me know how it goes. I 427 00:26:55,119 --> 00:26:57,040 Speaker 1: wish you all the best, and I can't wait to 428 00:26:57,040 --> 00:27:00,320 Speaker 1: see you again. Remember I'm forever rooting for you and 429 00:27:00,359 --> 00:27:02,480 Speaker 1: I'm always in your corner. If this is the year 430 00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:05,960 Speaker 1: you're finally ready to start that business, level, up your goals, 431 00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:09,000 Speaker 1: or build real momentum in your life, you need to 432 00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:12,640 Speaker 1: hear my conversation with Alex Hormosi. I have a very 433 00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:15,200 Speaker 1: simple framework that I encourage people who are starting out 434 00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:17,840 Speaker 1: to follow, which I call closer so see stands for clarify. 435 00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:20,200 Speaker 1: But you'd be get the conversation like, Hey, why'd you 436 00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:21,040 Speaker 1: respond to my thing?