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Speaker 1: Welcome to Can't Fully Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio

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Speaker 1: and The Black Effect. Oh Shit, be back on the air.

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Speaker 1: Welcome back to y'all another carefully reckless episode.

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Speaker 2: With your girl.

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Speaker 3: Jeff's hilarious. I'm gonna be fixing mess y'all. What's up?

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Speaker 3: What's good?

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Speaker 1: How y'all doing out there? Checking on y'all mentals, checking

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Speaker 1: on y'all mentals, y'all been checking on myne lately. I'd

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Speaker 1: be going through my dm y'all. I just want to

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Speaker 1: let y'all know, don't ever let no influencer or no

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Speaker 1: celebrity make y'all feel that they don't be in MDMs,

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Speaker 1: because it'd be money in there. So we all be

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Speaker 1: in there, okay. But I just want to take a

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Speaker 1: second and point out the love that I always get

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Speaker 1: from you guys. Y'all be really like checking on me,

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Speaker 1: checking on my mental, making sure I'm straight, whether something

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Speaker 1: great to happen, whether something bad happen, whether y'all hear

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Speaker 1: something good or bad. Y'all just be checking on me.

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Speaker 1: And I just love y'all so much, so I just

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Speaker 1: wanted to give y'all some appreciation real quick before I

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Speaker 1: fixed this girl's mess. She sent a voice noe in

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Speaker 1: and I love that cause y'all know I hate reading

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Speaker 1: y'all run on sentences and shit, they be long as hell.

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Speaker 3: All right, here goes the voice note.

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Speaker 4: Hey dress, So I have found your podcast, maybe about

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Speaker 4: I don't know, a month ago, you know, looking for

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Speaker 4: shit to listen to while I'm at work. And I

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Speaker 4: just want to say, I think it's great that you're

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Speaker 4: helping people, you know, so help me fix my mess. Please.

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Speaker 2: It's a lot why I'm gonna try to keep it short.

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Speaker 4: So twenty four and I got two kids, two boys.

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Speaker 4: My youngest one is twelve weeks so he's fresh.

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Speaker 2: This has to do with they dad. Okay, So.

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Speaker 4: Before I found out that I was pregnant, we had

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Speaker 4: literally just broke up. And then I found out that

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Speaker 4: I was pregnant.

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Speaker 2: Okay, why did we break up? Well?

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Speaker 1: This girl talk so goddamn slow. Come on, girl, People

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Speaker 1: trying to listen before they get out of their car

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Speaker 1: and go to work.

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Speaker 3: Shit, you're gonna make somebody late.

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Speaker 4: Basically, he was super disrespectful, you know, always calling me

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Speaker 4: out my name, you know, like saying shit, you know,

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Speaker 4: just just coming at my whole life. You feel me

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Speaker 4: like literally just trying to, you know.

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Speaker 2: Bring me down. And honestly, it.

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Speaker 4: Was getting to a point where, like I was, I'm

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Speaker 4: not gonna say that I was believing him, but it

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Speaker 4: was definitely making me feel some type of way.

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Speaker 2: Just just a whole lot of bullshit. And not only that,

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Speaker 2: but like he put his.

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Speaker 3: Hands on me, h uh uh.

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Speaker 2: Like he wasn't like beating the fuck out of me

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Speaker 2: or nothing.

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Speaker 4: And I'm not trying to like say like that it

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Speaker 4: was okay or anything like that, because no.

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Speaker 5: It's not okay now.

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Speaker 1: And now I know before I played the rest of

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Speaker 1: the story, her ask not about to say he wasn't

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Speaker 1: being like the fuck out of me or nothing.

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Speaker 3: He was just like hitting me a little bit, bitch,

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Speaker 3: was putting his hands on you. That's just all that matters.

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Speaker 3: And he shouldn't have been doing it, but continue, but.

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Speaker 2: He was doing that. And basically, you know, you know

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Speaker 2: how you be in a.

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Speaker 4: Relationship and you you hope that they change, and you know,

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Speaker 4: you keep trying to talk to him and you're telling

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Speaker 4: him that this is the problem, right, and this is

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Speaker 4: the problem, and you just you know, you just keep

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Speaker 4: putting up with it. Like I kept putting up with

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Speaker 4: it until I got tired.

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Speaker 2: So I broke up with him.

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Speaker 4: Then, like I said, broke up with him, found out

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Speaker 4: that I was pregnant with our second child, didn't get

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Speaker 4: back together with him.

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Speaker 2: Going uh so, long story short.

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Speaker 6: You know, he ended up getting in like he got mad,

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Speaker 6: and it ended with him going to jail, like because

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Speaker 6: I call the cops and you know, like people will

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Speaker 6: be like, don't call the cops.

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Speaker 4: So like, I honestly, I didn't even want to say

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Speaker 4: anything about it because you know, people feel.

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Speaker 2: How they feel about it.

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Speaker 3: Girl fuck people, Oh my god, Jesus, But.

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Speaker 2: Honestly, I don't really like it's hard when you really

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Speaker 2: don't have anyone else to turn to.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and you know, like my family, like they're not

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Speaker 4: really the type, Like they wasn't coming through for me, honestly,

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Speaker 4: And I mean it's cool, but you know, what else

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Speaker 4: was I supposed to do? Like I'm like at this point,

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Speaker 4: I'm scared. So basically, like at first, I was a

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Speaker 4: little scared to.

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Speaker 2: Tell him, like yo, like I don't want.

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Speaker 4: To do this anymore because he came home and you know,

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Speaker 4: he's trying to work it out and I wasn't you know,

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Speaker 4: I wasn't expressing that, yo, like this isn't what I

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Speaker 4: want to do, because I was low key scared.

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Speaker 2: I'm a low because like.

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Speaker 4: He it's when he gets mad, that's when he starts

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Speaker 4: acting crazy. That's when he wants to start putting his

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Speaker 4: hands on people and stuff like that. So I wasn't

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Speaker 4: saying it, you know, but I was feeling it.

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Speaker 2: And now like.

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Speaker 4: I finally had the conversation with him, and you know,

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Speaker 4: I came out and I told him like, I don't

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Speaker 4: want to do this anymore, like.

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Speaker 2: And you know, of course he didn't really like it.

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Speaker 4: And then you know, like that narcissism or whatever, like

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Speaker 4: he's like, well, I don't like you, like you're crazy

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Speaker 4: if you thought that I ever wanted to be with you.

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Speaker 2: Blah blah blah blah blah.

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Speaker 4: But this is the thing, this is a cycle, you know,

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Speaker 4: because I've told him that I didn't want to be

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Speaker 4: with him before, you know, like I when I remember

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Speaker 4: whenever I was mad or whatever, like I told him, and.

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Speaker 2: He, you know say what he.

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Speaker 4: Says, disrespect me, blah blah blah blah blah, and then

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Speaker 4: he's trying, like three days later, we're back on the

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Speaker 4: same shit.

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Speaker 2: I mean, we're not back on the same shit. But

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Speaker 2: three days.

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Speaker 4: Later, he's acting like he didn't say anything, you know,

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Speaker 4: like he didn't disrespect me or whatever, and I kindly

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Speaker 4: remind him, and he's.

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Speaker 2: Like, oh, well, I gotta say stuff like that to you.

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Speaker 2: I've gotta be like that with you because blah blah

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Speaker 2: blah blah blah. And to me, I just feel like

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Speaker 2: that's bullshit. And basically, I guess.

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Speaker 4: My question is because I feel like he doesn't really

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Speaker 4: understand that I'm at a point where I really just

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Speaker 4: don't want to be with him, like I want a

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Speaker 4: co parent, you know. And that's another thing, like he

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Speaker 4: uses that against me. He knows that I love my

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Speaker 4: kids with all my life and I want them to

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Speaker 4: have their father and their life, like I don't want

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Speaker 4: them to grow up in a broken home.

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Speaker 2: But at this point, it's like they deserve.

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Speaker 1: A happy mom, absolutely not a miserable mom, because you

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Speaker 1: can't do anything for them if you're not mentally okay.

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Speaker 4: So yeah, he tries to use my kids against me,

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Speaker 4: and I guess to just like stay around or you know,

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Speaker 4: use that as a crunch. I don't know, but basically,

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Speaker 4: I'm over it. I'm so done, like I don't I

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Speaker 4: don't want to do it anymore. And I don't think

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Speaker 4: that he understands that, Like he thinks like we just

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Speaker 4: had a conversation and you know, like I guess he's

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Speaker 4: horn it.

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Speaker 2: He's trying to fuck so he's being super friendly.

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Speaker 4: And like I said, I reminded him of the shit

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Speaker 4: he said, and he you know, I just.

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Speaker 2: Told you what is the reasons was?

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Speaker 4: But I'm like, we're just friends or you know, like

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Speaker 4: you're just my baby daddy.

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Speaker 2: And he's like, yeah, all right, like yeah, okay, like stop.

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Speaker 1: Playing with me, okay, so stop playing, Like does that

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Speaker 1: affect you? Like I wonder does that like affect you?

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Speaker 1: Him saying that, like yeah, I ain't playing, but you

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Speaker 1: gotta really not be playing.

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Speaker 3: Let me let you finish, girl, cause I'm about to

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Speaker 3: have to lay into you.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry, this is so long.

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Speaker 4: I'm sorry, girl, like for real, for real, if I

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Speaker 4: was to really get down and dirty and into everything,

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Speaker 4: like it would be a lot longer. I'm trying to

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Speaker 4: keep it short. So basically, I know I keep saying that.

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Speaker 4: My question is how can I get out.

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Speaker 2: Of this situation?

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Speaker 4: Safely and with him understanding that this is not what

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Speaker 4: I want to do anymore.

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Speaker 2: You know, Like what can I do?

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Speaker 4: How can I get him to understand that this is

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Speaker 4: not for me? Like at this point we've outgrown each other.

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Speaker 4: What can I do? Because I don't want to, you know,

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Speaker 4: Like honestly, I listen to a lot of true crime podcasts,

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Speaker 4: and I be feeling like when I be listening some of.

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Speaker 1: That shit like sound like me and him, Lord Jesus, well,

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Speaker 1: I don't want you to. Don't listen to snaps because

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Speaker 1: with a lot of them, when the women snap, they

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Speaker 1: be killing the men and vice versa.

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Speaker 3: So look, I think you just let me, let me,

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Speaker 3: let you finish, Jesus.

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Speaker 4: And like I said, like everything is probably not as

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Speaker 4: bad as like the true crime podcast, but it's like

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Speaker 4: close enough, and it be having me thinking like, oh

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Speaker 4: my gosh, like this could literally be me one day.

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Speaker 4: Like that's what I be thinking about, Like if I

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Speaker 4: don't get out, it could get worse than this. I

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Speaker 4: could end up dead, like and he's made threats like that,

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Speaker 4: like he's starting to hurt me, you know, and he

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Speaker 4: he even goes as far as the next person I go.

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Speaker 2: But he's gonna hurt them too.

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Speaker 4: So it's just like I'm worried, like I don't want

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Speaker 4: to do this no more, but I want to be safe,

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Speaker 4: and like by me being a little afraid, it's like

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Speaker 4: keeping me.

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Speaker 2: It's keeping me in this relationship.

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Speaker 4: Well it's not even a relationship because we're not together.

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Speaker 4: And I tell him that we're not together, but it's

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Speaker 4: just like keeping him around.

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Speaker 1: If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and

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Speaker 1: then we'll be right back. Okay, So that is the end, honey,

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Speaker 1: Lord God, I'm gonna pray for you tonight and every

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Speaker 1: other night until I hear from you again. But it's

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Speaker 1: definitely time for you to get up out of there.

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Speaker 3: I know that.

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Speaker 1: You know you say that you're staying there. You because

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Speaker 1: you well, you gave.

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Speaker 3: Me a couple of reasons.

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Speaker 1: You know, you want your kids to see the whole

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Speaker 1: family dynamic, and you know, but let's just go one

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Speaker 1: by one. You wanting your kids to see the whole

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Speaker 1: family dynamic. You turn around and said the right thing

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Speaker 1: that comes right after that. But I want them to

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Speaker 1: see mom happy. If mom is not happy, if mom

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Speaker 1: is miserable, if mom is staying with their father who

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Speaker 1: is not only mentally abusive or emotionally abusive, but physically abusive.

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Speaker 1: And obviously, your kids, the older they get, they see

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Speaker 1: that they're boys, you know what I'm saying. So then

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Speaker 1: that's not really a good example to set for them.

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Speaker 1: Dad hits on mom, or dad verbally abuses mom, he's

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Speaker 1: always mad at or he's angry at, or mom's always

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Speaker 1: looking sad. I remember my mom always being sad and

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Speaker 1: down and depressed, and you know, just shut down when

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Speaker 1: my dad would come home. Like do you want You

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Speaker 1: don't want that? You don't want those story times from

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Speaker 1: your kids? You know you don't want you don't want that,

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Speaker 1: right And while I know it's probably easier said than

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Speaker 1: done for you to just up and leave, there are

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Speaker 1: so many resources that you have these days where you

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Speaker 1: can get help, you can't leave.

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Speaker 3: And then is what is his background?

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Speaker 5: Like?

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Speaker 3: What is he like?

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Speaker 4: Ex?

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Speaker 3: Military?

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Speaker 1: Like what will he always find you? Why haven't you

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Speaker 1: gone to the police? Like that's number one? Where do

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Speaker 1: y'all live?

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Speaker 5: Like?

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Speaker 3: Do they take what they take?

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Speaker 5: This serious?

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Speaker 3: This is domestic?

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Speaker 1: Obviously, I honestly do feel for you, but I need

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Speaker 1: for you to feel for yourself enough to get out

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Speaker 1: of the situation. You get what I'm saying, like, and

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Speaker 1: then of course you and your boys will meet therapy.

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Speaker 1: How their father needs therapy right now, but he ain't

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Speaker 1: gonna get it. But I want you to understand, you this,

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Speaker 1: this situation grew to be as bad as it is

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Speaker 1: because you allowed that for so long. You allowed this

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Speaker 1: for a long time. And even when you call yourself

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Speaker 1: putting your foot down, like, oh, I don't want to

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Speaker 1: do this, this is not for me, you don't even

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Speaker 1: sound confident telling me that's what you don't want. So

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Speaker 1: I can only imagine how unseerious he takes you. You

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Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, When you make those type of

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Speaker 1: threats to leave, or or when you tell him this

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Speaker 1: is not for me, you're not really being firm about it.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't sound believable. You're not taking any action to

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Speaker 1: really show him that you know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 3: And like I said, is he a street dude? Like

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Speaker 3: what makes you so afreie? What has you so afraid?

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Speaker 1: And then I also heard you say you don't have

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Speaker 1: anybody else to turn to, So you don't have any family,

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Speaker 1: no friends, nobody, a best friend, a cousin like uncles.

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Speaker 1: You don't your dad, You don't have any body that

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Speaker 1: can help.

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Speaker 3: You or where you can turn. You need to get

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Speaker 3: a restraining order. You'll need to do that. You need

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Speaker 3: to call the police.

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Speaker 5: Kiss.

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Speaker 3: Yes, I'm just fixed my mess all day.

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Speaker 1: But at the end of the day, honey, I can't

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Speaker 1: come get you physically myself. I wish I fucking could,

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Speaker 1: Like this is this is horrible. I really would love

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Speaker 1: for you to keep me updated, definitely, Like where the

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Speaker 1: hell did you meet this nigga? This is weird as hell?

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Speaker 1: And when did you start seeing signs of this? Like,

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Speaker 1: cause y'all got two kids together? If I'm not mistaken,

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Speaker 1: that's what I thought you said, y'all got two kids.

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Speaker 1: You don't have one child. Y'all just had a baby.

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Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. It's gonna be very hard

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Speaker 1: to get rid of him, but you're gonna have to

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Speaker 1: go through the courts to handle this shit. But when

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Speaker 1: did you know, Like when did the red flags come

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Speaker 1: for this? You've taken this for a long time. You

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Speaker 1: decided to have another baby with him after you've seen

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Speaker 1: how he was or did he get like this after

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Speaker 1: you were with child?

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Speaker 3: With the second baby.

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Speaker 1: I just need to know, and I need to know

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Speaker 1: that you're okay as well, and that you're gonna take

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Speaker 1: the necessary steps to make sure you're okay. Cause this

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Speaker 1: shit ain't cool, Mama, I guarantee you it's not. I

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Speaker 1: don't even like hearing this about women, but I do

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Speaker 1: appreciate you letting me into your life enough to even

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Speaker 1: allow me to advise you in any type of way

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Speaker 1: because these days, you know, all days, but especially these days,

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Speaker 1: women do need to stick together. I don't care what

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Speaker 1: people say, women definitely got to stick together. So check

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Speaker 1: in with me, mamm geez, y'all, we got another voice note, Hey.

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Speaker 7: Jess, good morning, or at least it's morning here for me.

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Speaker 5: I don't know what time it will be when you

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Speaker 5: listen to this or if you listen to.

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Speaker 7: This, but I wanted to first off, thank you for

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Speaker 7: your dedication and fixing people's mess even when they must

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Speaker 7: be feel good, honey.

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Speaker 5: But thank you for all that you do.

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Speaker 7: And I'm just gonna get right into it and drop

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Speaker 7: my lilw mess off in your lap. Okay, So, my

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Speaker 7: husband and I are having a hard time seeing eye

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Speaker 7: to eye with wanting to expand our family and have another.

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Speaker 7: So a little backstory. We've been together for ten years.

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Speaker 5: We currently have a preschool aged child after our son.

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Speaker 7: Initially, my husband said he wanted no more kids, like

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Speaker 7: want and done, and he was pretty firm on that, like,

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Speaker 7: you know, We've had a few conversations and he's like, nah,

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Speaker 7: I want no more.

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Speaker 5: I want no more x y Z okay.

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Speaker 7: So I've always wanted two children at the least. My

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Speaker 7: thinking has always been having one kid it's just selfish,

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Speaker 7: you know, like if something happened to that kid's parents,

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Speaker 7: no one else understands what that kid is going through

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Speaker 7: but a sibling, you know what I mean, Like.

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Speaker 5: You could have cousins, this person, this.

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Speaker 7: That, and the third to be there for you, but

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Speaker 7: no one really understands that pain of losing a parent

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Speaker 7: other than your sibling. And furthermore, I just felt like,

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Speaker 7: you know, having just one kid, I don't know, that's.

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Speaker 5: Boring, Like damn giveing a friend apartment a friend like

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Speaker 5: have you know.

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Speaker 7: I mean, maybe I won't even like each other here.

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Speaker 5: I don't know, but that has always been my thinking.

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Speaker 7: So I've always been said, like, I want at least

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Speaker 7: two children. Obviously, I can't pick the gender, but I've

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Speaker 7: always wanted at least a boy and a girl.

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Speaker 5: Okay, so let me get back to it.

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Speaker 7: Because I'm just taking you through my little thinking and everything.

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Speaker 5: Okay.

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Speaker 7: So basically, like I say, he was pretty consistent with

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Speaker 7: saying he doesn't want anymore, he's wan and done, and

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Speaker 7: I basically tell him, and I know, before you check me,

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Speaker 7: I know this is wrong the way I went about it.

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Speaker 7: I know it's selfish. I know you don't do these

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Speaker 7: type of things, but I did tell him, like, you know,

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Speaker 7: I want another kid, and if you're stuck on not

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Speaker 7: expanding our family, then maybe we should reevaluate our relationship

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Speaker 7: because this is non negotiable for me. And I just

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Speaker 7: want to also like add a little more context here,

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Speaker 7: Like I know how selfish that sounds, but throughout my life,

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Speaker 7: I've sacrificed so much for other people, like so much

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Speaker 7: for other people's happiness, so much, given my last so

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Speaker 7: that this person can have, you know, whatever it is

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Speaker 7: they need. And I just felt like in this particular moment,

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Speaker 7: or in this particular situation, rather, this was something that

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Speaker 7: I just wasn't willing to, you know, be flexible with,

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Speaker 7: like it means. So it meant so much to me

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Speaker 7: to have at least two kids. Okay, so let me

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Speaker 7: get back to it. So he handed up agreeing to

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Speaker 7: one and a second child, and then a few years

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Speaker 7: later I got pregnant again. But with that pregnancy, it

362
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Speaker 7: just felt off, like it just always fell off, not right,

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Speaker 7: just I don't know.

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Speaker 5: It just didn't feel the same.

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Speaker 7: And I know every pregnancy is not the same, but something,

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Speaker 7: you know, your instincts, something just wasn't right with this one.

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Speaker 5: But he was excited, and I.

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Speaker 7: Actually feel like I was very excited my first pregnancy.

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Speaker 7: I felt like he was whatever, like, ir we having

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Speaker 7: a kid, cool, you know, but that's also his personality.

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Speaker 7: But that the second time around, I felt like he.

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Speaker 5: Was like excited and I wasn't. Like, wait, dude, the

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Speaker 5: table's fucking turned. Yeah. Anyways, we ended up losing a baby.

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Speaker 7: So this is where things take a little complete term.

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Speaker 5: Honey.

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Speaker 7: Okay, So I'm at a place now I no longer

377
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Speaker 7: want another kid.

378
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Speaker 5: I'm not interested. I'm just over it.

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Speaker 7: Like our son is only getting older and I don't

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Speaker 7: necessarily want to.

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Speaker 3: Start over, you know.

382
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Speaker 5: Like, don't get me wrong, I love babies. Oh my gosh.

383
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Speaker 5: I love children.

384
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Speaker 7: I love babies, I work with kids. I want to

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Speaker 7: have my own day care.

386
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Speaker 5: I love kids, but I just don't want anymore.

387
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Speaker 7: I don't know if it's because like we're in our

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Speaker 7: thirties and I just want to travel, I want to build,

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Speaker 7: I want to start a business, and I just I

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Speaker 7: don't know, or I also feel like I never got

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Speaker 7: back into me after No, I'm not even gonna say

392
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Speaker 7: after having my son, because even before my son, I

393
00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:35,439
Speaker 7: felt like I never I kind of fell out of

394
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Speaker 7: being me. I started gaining weight, you know, happy weight,

395
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Speaker 7: but don't get.

396
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Speaker 5: Too happy shit.

397
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Speaker 7: But I started my happy weight and then I paired

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Speaker 7: it with babyweight.

399
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Speaker 5: I never got rid of that.

400
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Speaker 7: So I feel like losing the second you know, the

401
00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:55,640
Speaker 7: second pregnancy, not being successful. I just feel like now

402
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Speaker 7: I just want to focus on me. I want to

403
00:20:58,200 --> 00:20:59,880
Speaker 7: focus on us. I want to focus on the y'all

404
00:20:59,920 --> 00:21:01,720
Speaker 7: we do have. I want to travel, I want to build,

405
00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:04,440
Speaker 7: I want to start a business, and I just want

406
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Speaker 7: to make money moves.

407
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Speaker 5: You know. But each time.

408
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Speaker 7: He brings up trying for another child, I just expressed

409
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Speaker 7: to him that I don't want to and I'm not interested.

410
00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:22,200
Speaker 7: And I know it's my body and ultimately my choice,

411
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Speaker 7: but I don't want to approach that with him, like

412
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:28,280
Speaker 7: this is a marriage. You know, this is a marriage.

413
00:21:28,359 --> 00:21:30,360
Speaker 7: I don't want to be like this is my body.

414
00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:35,080
Speaker 5: I don't want to So anyways, what do I do?

415
00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:39,320
Speaker 7: Like he listened to me, he hurt me out, changed

416
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Speaker 7: his mind when I basically gave him my ultimatum.

417
00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:46,879
Speaker 5: But now I'm not willing to change my mind. And

418
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Speaker 5: it's not.

419
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Speaker 7: Like I'm fearful that he's going to give me an ultimatum,

420
00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:52,920
Speaker 7: Like all right, well look check it.

421
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Speaker 5: If you don't want another kid, I'm out.

422
00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:57,000
Speaker 7: That's not who he is, that's not how he rolled.

423
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Speaker 7: He not liked that.

424
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Speaker 5: That's me. I'm like that, but I'm changing my ways.

425
00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:07,040
Speaker 7: But anyways, I don't know, Like I don't want to

426
00:22:07,119 --> 00:22:09,399
Speaker 7: just have another kid just because he wants one, and

427
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Speaker 7: then I end up presenting him.

428
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Speaker 5: I'm not going to resent the baby. I can never

429
00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:15,439
Speaker 5: resent a child. I could never. I love I already

430
00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:17,880
Speaker 5: said this already, but I love children.

431
00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:20,840
Speaker 7: But maybe I will end up presenting him like but

432
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Speaker 7: you may no, I don't think so.

433
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Speaker 5: Like no, I've said like that, you sound stupid, but

434
00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:28,520
Speaker 5: I just don't want another kid. Like I know, I'm

435
00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:30,080
Speaker 5: a great mom, and I.

436
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:34,040
Speaker 7: Think maybe like him, seeing sometimes when I interact with kids,

437
00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:38,320
Speaker 7: even in public, like I think it's like something in

438
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:40,560
Speaker 7: him that's like, oh my gosh, like she's.

439
00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:42,440
Speaker 5: Damn near born to be a mom.

440
00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:44,879
Speaker 7: And then like I don't know if it's also paired

441
00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:47,560
Speaker 7: with the fact that he was so excited for that

442
00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:50,600
Speaker 7: second child and then it didn't happen.

443
00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:55,280
Speaker 8: So yeah, now he's really really eager to fill that

444
00:22:55,359 --> 00:22:59,280
Speaker 8: void because before we got pregnant with the second kid,

445
00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:02,200
Speaker 8: it's not like he was excited to get pregnant, you.

446
00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:04,919
Speaker 7: Know what I mean, Like it just happened and we's

447
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:06,840
Speaker 7: like cool, and I'm like, yes, I think this is

448
00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:10,000
Speaker 7: my girl. But then, like I said, like stuff started

449
00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:12,959
Speaker 7: happening and I'm like, this pregnicy just feeling strange.

450
00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:14,920
Speaker 1: Hold up, hold up, I know this shit getting good.

451
00:23:14,920 --> 00:23:17,240
Speaker 1: But listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial.

452
00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:18,399
Speaker 1: If you love me, you'll listen.

453
00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:23,520
Speaker 7: Anyways, I don't know, though, I just I don't want

454
00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:27,800
Speaker 7: another kid, and like I feel like, hell, all I'm sorry,

455
00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:30,879
Speaker 7: I'm getting tongue tiny shit, But he like kind of

456
00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:36,000
Speaker 7: always brings it into a conversation, like you're like just easey,

457
00:23:36,160 --> 00:23:37,920
Speaker 7: motherfucking talking and I'm like.

458
00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:41,440
Speaker 5: Nigga, get somebody else to do it.

459
00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:47,280
Speaker 7: No, But like I don't know, do I need to

460
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:48,520
Speaker 7: go to marriage counsel for this shit?

461
00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:50,399
Speaker 5: But what the fuck a marriage counselor gonna tell me?

462
00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:53,600
Speaker 5: I don't want the bagbee. No, let's talk about it.

463
00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:55,440
Speaker 5: Let me just hear you out. I hope I gave

464
00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:57,040
Speaker 5: you enough context backstory.

465
00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:59,400
Speaker 7: I said, we've been together ten years, right, we marry

466
00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:01,560
Speaker 7: already got to I don't know what else you.

467
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:02,360
Speaker 5: Need to know, but.

468
00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:07,000
Speaker 7: I don't provide you whatever details you need to help

469
00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:08,480
Speaker 7: me figure the funk out.

470
00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:11,440
Speaker 5: What the fuck do? Anyways, thank you, and I advance.

471
00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:17,679
Speaker 1: Wo that girl is entertaining, Okay, And look y'all, if

472
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:19,560
Speaker 1: you'll I apologize about the noise in the back. Look

473
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:23,720
Speaker 1: I'm cooking right now, all right. My family's home, well,

474
00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:25,600
Speaker 1: my man and one of my kids. Anyway, let me

475
00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:30,120
Speaker 1: get back to her story, because, like she said, tables turn, Yes,

476
00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:33,240
Speaker 1: they do. She went from wanting the kids and he

477
00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:35,320
Speaker 1: wasn't really sure about it, or you know, he wasn't

478
00:24:35,359 --> 00:24:38,440
Speaker 1: doubting it, but he was like, uh to he really

479
00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:41,560
Speaker 1: really really want wanted his second kid, and then second

480
00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:42,400
Speaker 1: second time.

481
00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:46,240
Speaker 3: She wasn't excited about it. That happens.

482
00:24:46,359 --> 00:24:50,840
Speaker 1: That definitely happens, I know, like I know couples and

483
00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:53,720
Speaker 1: have known couples that that it happened with.

484
00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:55,359
Speaker 5: Oh my god.

485
00:24:56,880 --> 00:24:59,200
Speaker 1: It's a couple of different ways. It's a couple of

486
00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:02,080
Speaker 1: different ways you can go about it. This is a

487
00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:04,760
Speaker 1: hard one. I'm not gonna lie this. This is not

488
00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:08,040
Speaker 1: as easy as I thought, y'all.

489
00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:12,520
Speaker 3: But shit, I.

490
00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:14,720
Speaker 1: Honestly think one of y'all just gonna have to bite

491
00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:17,760
Speaker 1: the bullet. One of y'all would have to bite the bullet.

492
00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:20,960
Speaker 1: I mean, what are you willing to like? Is he

493
00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:21,840
Speaker 1: willing to adopt?

494
00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:22,760
Speaker 3: Is he like? Now?

495
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:24,919
Speaker 1: Why don't you want to do it? Is it that

496
00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:27,520
Speaker 1: you don't want to put your body through it? Is

497
00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:31,119
Speaker 1: it that you just don't have time for another child?

498
00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:32,440
Speaker 1: You know, I know you said you want to get

499
00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:34,440
Speaker 1: back to you, But is that because you don't want

500
00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:36,320
Speaker 1: to cause any more detrimancy a body.

501
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:37,800
Speaker 3: Y'all been together for a long time.

502
00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:41,359
Speaker 1: There's a lot of history and he's broken, you know,

503
00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:45,239
Speaker 1: from losing you guys as second child. You know, that

504
00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:47,480
Speaker 1: can take a lot out of a person. And I'm

505
00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:49,760
Speaker 1: not saying that it didn't do any harm to you.

506
00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:52,840
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, you know, we're discussing him because he

507
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:56,960
Speaker 1: still wants he wants, like you said that boyd Field, However.

508
00:25:56,720 --> 00:25:59,960
Speaker 3: You're not there mentally. You just don't want another child.

509
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:02,520
Speaker 1: And I just want to know specifically what it is

510
00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:04,639
Speaker 1: because it always depends.

511
00:26:04,680 --> 00:26:05,080
Speaker 3: I mean it.

512
00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:08,560
Speaker 1: You could give him another baby through surrogacy, you know,

513
00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:11,679
Speaker 1: you could give him There are different.

514
00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:14,960
Speaker 3: Ways that he could still get his baby, you know, So.

515
00:26:16,359 --> 00:26:19,399
Speaker 1: It all depends on if you're willing to compromise, make that,

516
00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:22,720
Speaker 1: make that sacrifice a marriage to compromise that, Like, are

517
00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:27,160
Speaker 1: you willing to give your husband a baby another way?

518
00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:28,479
Speaker 3: Damnit?

519
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:31,679
Speaker 1: That is a lot that I feel for both of

520
00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:33,800
Speaker 1: you because to be married and to be on the

521
00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:37,440
Speaker 1: on two different pages about something.

522
00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:38,960
Speaker 3: So serious like that, that's big.

523
00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:42,600
Speaker 1: I know it could take over your marriage easily because

524
00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:44,360
Speaker 1: that has to be on y'all, on both of y'all

525
00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:47,240
Speaker 1: minds every day. He's not letting up, You're not letting

526
00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:49,159
Speaker 1: up like what I know it has. It has to

527
00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:52,600
Speaker 1: cause tension and division, and you know, in the home

528
00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:56,320
Speaker 1: in conversations, I know it could even cause tension in

529
00:26:56,359 --> 00:27:00,479
Speaker 1: your sex life. You know, because you don't want another baby.

530
00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:02,600
Speaker 1: You ain't trying to let him shoot the club up.

531
00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:05,719
Speaker 1: It could cause a lot of problems, you know, and

532
00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:08,000
Speaker 1: I totally do get it. But one of y'all have

533
00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:10,360
Speaker 1: to bite the bullet and still try to make each

534
00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:13,159
Speaker 1: other happy, the happiest that you guys could be together.

535
00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:16,439
Speaker 3: Check back in with me. I need I need. I

536
00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:16,840
Speaker 3: need to know.

537
00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:19,280
Speaker 1: I mean, you said you left, you gave me all

538
00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:20,800
Speaker 1: the meat on the bone and all that shit, But

539
00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:22,280
Speaker 1: I still need to know.

540
00:27:23,160 --> 00:27:24,720
Speaker 3: I need to know. Are you willing to do it

541
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:26,159
Speaker 3: another way? Should?

542
00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:28,080
Speaker 1: Because that's how we move forward. Then I can give

543
00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:30,600
Speaker 1: you some more advice. I could fix your mess further

544
00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:32,040
Speaker 1: if you let me know what you're willing to do.

545
00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:34,000
Speaker 1: I mean, why you really don't want the baby? What's

546
00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:36,760
Speaker 1: up is it for your body? You can't handle another

547
00:27:36,840 --> 00:27:40,480
Speaker 1: child right now? What exactly is it that's keeping you

548
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:43,440
Speaker 1: from giving him another baby?

549
00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:44,919
Speaker 3: So just check back in with me.

550
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:47,280
Speaker 1: Oh and look, y'all, we just come to the end

551
00:27:47,359 --> 00:27:49,560
Speaker 1: of yet another episode of Carefully Reckless with your Girl.

552
00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:50,159
Speaker 3: Just hilarious.

553
00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:51,480
Speaker 1: What I'll be doing, what I'll be doing, I'll be

554
00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:53,760
Speaker 1: fixed the mess and I'm gonna be doing it from

555
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:56,000
Speaker 1: here on out, each and every Wednesday where you find

556
00:27:56,000 --> 00:28:00,160
Speaker 1: your podcast at y'all and then my deepest Pam voice

557
00:28:00,920 --> 00:29:14,320
Speaker 1: see you next week. Can't Fully Reckless is a production

558
00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:18,680
Speaker 1: of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio,

559
00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:22,800
Speaker 1: visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen

560
00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:23,760
Speaker 1: to your favorite shows.