WEBVTT - Heartbreak Kid

0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:03.120
<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of Our Heart Radio

0:00:03.240 --> 0:00:21.120
<v Speaker 1>and the Black Effect. And just like that, we're back

0:00:21.160 --> 0:00:24.160
<v Speaker 1>on the air. Welcome back to yet another Carefully Reckless

0:00:24.440 --> 0:00:28.040
<v Speaker 1>episode with your girl just hilarious. Now listen, I have

0:00:28.760 --> 0:00:33.000
<v Speaker 1>something to vent to you guys about because support means

0:00:33.040 --> 0:00:36.040
<v Speaker 1>everything to me, especially when it comes from my family,

0:00:36.479 --> 0:00:40.120
<v Speaker 1>my closest friends, which there aren't really a lot of,

0:00:40.840 --> 0:00:49.479
<v Speaker 1>but especially my family, my bloodline, most importantly my parents. Okay,

0:00:49.600 --> 0:00:51.680
<v Speaker 1>so I had a big show. I had a big

0:00:51.720 --> 0:00:55.040
<v Speaker 1>show at the MGM Grand in National Harbor. That's the

0:00:55.120 --> 0:00:57.960
<v Speaker 1>d m V. That's Oxing Hill, Maryland, right near d C.

0:00:58.680 --> 0:01:01.840
<v Speaker 1>Right that's still can cidered Maryland. So that's still what

0:01:01.880 --> 0:01:04.280
<v Speaker 1>I consider a big part of my home. You know,

0:01:04.520 --> 0:01:07.800
<v Speaker 1>d m V. I'm from Baltimore, So we all together.

0:01:07.840 --> 0:01:09.520
<v Speaker 1>I don't give a funk who get offended on this

0:01:09.600 --> 0:01:12.880
<v Speaker 1>ship about this ship whatever. When it comes to outsiders,

0:01:13.040 --> 0:01:16.880
<v Speaker 1>we're all together. So Baltimore shows and d C shows

0:01:16.880 --> 0:01:20.399
<v Speaker 1>are the two biggest shows that I have of the year.

0:01:20.920 --> 0:01:24.880
<v Speaker 1>So this MGM show that I just did March that

0:01:24.959 --> 0:01:27.880
<v Speaker 1>was about two three weeks ago. I sold it out.

0:01:28.200 --> 0:01:29.800
<v Speaker 1>I sold it out the year before that. I sold

0:01:29.800 --> 0:01:31.640
<v Speaker 1>it out the year before that and the year before that.

0:01:31.680 --> 0:01:36.000
<v Speaker 1>This is my fourth time selling out MGM National Harbor.

0:01:36.440 --> 0:01:40.160
<v Speaker 1>I received a plaque with my name my face in

0:01:40.200 --> 0:01:43.080
<v Speaker 1>a coin for every year that I've sold it out,

0:01:43.160 --> 0:01:46.720
<v Speaker 1>that I've played on this stage. They had my mother

0:01:46.840 --> 0:01:49.919
<v Speaker 1>present the plaque to me at the end of my set.

0:01:50.480 --> 0:01:53.280
<v Speaker 1>When I tell you, that made me feel so fucking

0:01:53.320 --> 0:01:56.800
<v Speaker 1>good to look up and see my mother, who's always

0:01:56.880 --> 0:02:00.480
<v Speaker 1>had stage fright, except for in church. You know, everybody

0:02:00.520 --> 0:02:02.080
<v Speaker 1>shy until they get a church and they want to

0:02:02.120 --> 0:02:04.400
<v Speaker 1>stand up and shouting all that, but not. My mom

0:02:04.480 --> 0:02:06.200
<v Speaker 1>is a deacon in the church. She was raised in

0:02:06.240 --> 0:02:08.480
<v Speaker 1>the church, and she raised me and my brother as

0:02:08.520 --> 0:02:10.880
<v Speaker 1>well in the church. And she's still in the church.

0:02:11.000 --> 0:02:14.720
<v Speaker 1>Still is a devoted believer in God, like a woman

0:02:14.760 --> 0:02:17.920
<v Speaker 1>of God. And this past year has been one of

0:02:17.960 --> 0:02:24.440
<v Speaker 1>the hardest but also the most victorious years for my mother,

0:02:24.960 --> 0:02:28.960
<v Speaker 1>celebrating a divorce. She was married to my father for

0:02:29.200 --> 0:02:32.680
<v Speaker 1>thirty plus years before I was born. And we've got

0:02:32.720 --> 0:02:35.320
<v Speaker 1>to live our lives. Me and my brother got to

0:02:35.320 --> 0:02:38.919
<v Speaker 1>live our lives, our child lives, you know, as our childhood.

0:02:38.919 --> 0:02:42.240
<v Speaker 1>We got to have our parents together. Although we're just

0:02:42.400 --> 0:02:45.359
<v Speaker 1>founding out now that they weren't happy as you know

0:02:45.400 --> 0:02:47.440
<v Speaker 1>when we were kids. They weren't as happy as they thought,

0:02:47.639 --> 0:02:49.640
<v Speaker 1>as they wanted us to think. But they kept us

0:02:49.639 --> 0:02:51.240
<v Speaker 1>out of that They kept us out of that ship,

0:02:51.280 --> 0:02:55.480
<v Speaker 1>and they just decided a year ago to divorce my mom.

0:02:55.680 --> 0:03:00.000
<v Speaker 1>It was actually my mom's decision. You know, infidelity, lives, cheating,

0:03:00.040 --> 0:03:02.520
<v Speaker 1>all that ship. You know, when that ship just stacks

0:03:02.639 --> 0:03:04.960
<v Speaker 1>up on you and ship, you get fed up, you

0:03:05.000 --> 0:03:07.000
<v Speaker 1>get tired, years and years and years of it. You

0:03:07.040 --> 0:03:10.000
<v Speaker 1>get tired of it, you know, and you have to

0:03:10.040 --> 0:03:13.760
<v Speaker 1>start living for yourself because we're grown now. So you

0:03:13.800 --> 0:03:15.760
<v Speaker 1>can't live for us no more. Mom. You can't live

0:03:15.800 --> 0:03:17.720
<v Speaker 1>for him because he ain't been living for you. You know.

0:03:17.760 --> 0:03:21.080
<v Speaker 1>You gotta live for yourself. So my mom has this

0:03:21.200 --> 0:03:24.000
<v Speaker 1>glow about her, the most beautiful woman that I know

0:03:24.240 --> 0:03:27.120
<v Speaker 1>in my life. She's one of the hardest working women

0:03:27.160 --> 0:03:32.160
<v Speaker 1>as well. Beautiful, fucking beautiful. I'm gonna hype up my baby.

0:03:32.160 --> 0:03:35.480
<v Speaker 1>That's my baby. My mom is my baby. And in

0:03:35.560 --> 0:03:40.440
<v Speaker 1>that moment, me seeing her with this newfound confidence and

0:03:40.480 --> 0:03:44.400
<v Speaker 1>this then this beauty sachet across that stage in that

0:03:44.520 --> 0:03:49.560
<v Speaker 1>white track suit talking about I know why y'all love

0:03:49.680 --> 0:03:52.440
<v Speaker 1>my baby, and I'm so happy that y'all love my baby,

0:03:52.440 --> 0:03:54.480
<v Speaker 1>and I just want to thank you all for making her,

0:03:54.840 --> 0:03:57.440
<v Speaker 1>help make her the star who she is. And you know,

0:03:57.520 --> 0:04:00.200
<v Speaker 1>she gave me a wonderful speech. And honestly, can y'all

0:04:00.200 --> 0:04:03.000
<v Speaker 1>believe that Jessica Robin Moore did not cry? I did

0:04:03.000 --> 0:04:05.200
<v Speaker 1>not cry, And y'all know I'm such a cry baby,

0:04:05.200 --> 0:04:07.000
<v Speaker 1>but I didn't cry. You know, I was just I

0:04:07.040 --> 0:04:10.120
<v Speaker 1>felt so liberated and the fact that not only another

0:04:10.160 --> 0:04:12.960
<v Speaker 1>black woman is presenting me this plaque, but the black

0:04:12.960 --> 0:04:15.640
<v Speaker 1>woman who had a hand in creating me, who birthed me.

0:04:16.320 --> 0:04:20.799
<v Speaker 1>You understand, that was a moment for me. And while

0:04:20.920 --> 0:04:24.120
<v Speaker 1>I had that moment, while I felt so liberated and

0:04:24.200 --> 0:04:28.400
<v Speaker 1>just accomplished and at one of my milestones and winning

0:04:28.560 --> 0:04:31.320
<v Speaker 1>what I'm sure is just one of many plaques I'm

0:04:31.360 --> 0:04:34.640
<v Speaker 1>going to receive in my near future, I was saddened

0:04:35.120 --> 0:04:38.240
<v Speaker 1>in the same moment because my father wasn't there to

0:04:38.279 --> 0:04:40.200
<v Speaker 1>be on that stage right next to her presenting me

0:04:40.279 --> 0:04:43.640
<v Speaker 1>that plaque. Now, y'are not together, I get it, y'all

0:04:43.680 --> 0:04:47.760
<v Speaker 1>not together, but y'all both are still my parents. Nothing

0:04:47.800 --> 0:04:50.600
<v Speaker 1>about a divorce is going to change that. Nothing about

0:04:50.839 --> 0:04:54.480
<v Speaker 1>a separation a breakup is going to change the fact

0:04:54.480 --> 0:04:57.840
<v Speaker 1>that I have two parents alive and both well, and

0:04:57.880 --> 0:05:01.200
<v Speaker 1>you were able to come. The excuse that my father

0:05:01.720 --> 0:05:05.200
<v Speaker 1>gave me for not being there was because he didn't

0:05:05.200 --> 0:05:09.799
<v Speaker 1>want to run it to my mom's new boyfriend. Oh, nigga,

0:05:09.880 --> 0:05:13.320
<v Speaker 1>what what? I ain't ready to just see her with

0:05:13.360 --> 0:05:17.680
<v Speaker 1>somebody else. But what, nigga, are you crazy? But she

0:05:17.720 --> 0:05:21.480
<v Speaker 1>had to see you before the inc even dried with

0:05:21.520 --> 0:05:24.960
<v Speaker 1>another woman, not just one, two women. You was back

0:05:25.000 --> 0:05:27.440
<v Speaker 1>and forth between two women that my mom had to

0:05:27.480 --> 0:05:30.400
<v Speaker 1>see you with. Like I said, the ink wasn't even dry,

0:05:30.520 --> 0:05:33.919
<v Speaker 1>nigga on the divorce papers. Let's take it even a

0:05:33.960 --> 0:05:37.120
<v Speaker 1>step before that, before a divorce, you were still creeping

0:05:37.120 --> 0:05:39.400
<v Speaker 1>and doing all of this ship. You know what I'm saying.

0:05:40.160 --> 0:05:47.120
<v Speaker 1>But you, with yourselfish but asked, can't bring your ask

0:05:47.200 --> 0:05:50.479
<v Speaker 1>to your daughter's show. This ain't my mom's show, it's

0:05:50.560 --> 0:05:53.560
<v Speaker 1>my show. Now. My dad already don't come to my shows.

0:05:54.040 --> 0:05:57.640
<v Speaker 1>You know, I expected this, But what I didn't expect

0:05:58.080 --> 0:05:59.560
<v Speaker 1>was to fill some type of way about it. I'm

0:05:59.640 --> 0:06:02.920
<v Speaker 1>telling you, me and my dad we're so much alike.

0:06:03.480 --> 0:06:05.200
<v Speaker 1>We're kind of like I'm not. I'm not gonna say

0:06:05.200 --> 0:06:09.880
<v Speaker 1>cold hearted, because we're really good people, but sometimes we

0:06:09.920 --> 0:06:13.080
<v Speaker 1>can be very unfair in ways, and we can be

0:06:13.320 --> 0:06:16.640
<v Speaker 1>so selfish in our own way, you know. And I

0:06:16.680 --> 0:06:18.800
<v Speaker 1>get that part from my dad, and I honestly just

0:06:18.800 --> 0:06:20.839
<v Speaker 1>really thought that I wasn't gonna feel anything about it

0:06:20.880 --> 0:06:23.400
<v Speaker 1>because I don't expect him to come to shows any show.

0:06:23.440 --> 0:06:25.760
<v Speaker 1>It don't matter to me. I've been stopped caring about

0:06:25.839 --> 0:06:28.400
<v Speaker 1>that ship a long time ago. Hold up, Hold up,

0:06:28.440 --> 0:06:30.400
<v Speaker 1>I know the ship getting good. But listen to just

0:06:30.440 --> 0:06:32.479
<v Speaker 1>a couple of seconds of a commercial. If you love me,

0:06:32.560 --> 0:06:37.800
<v Speaker 1>you'll listen now. Backstory, all y'all know, my dad was

0:06:37.880 --> 0:06:39.599
<v Speaker 1>literally my best friend, Like he used to be my

0:06:39.640 --> 0:06:42.119
<v Speaker 1>best friend. I used to be closest with my dad.

0:06:42.480 --> 0:06:45.440
<v Speaker 1>You know that kind of changed recently since the divorce.

0:06:45.520 --> 0:06:48.080
<v Speaker 1>My father felt like when my mother divorced him, so

0:06:48.200 --> 0:06:50.800
<v Speaker 1>did I. No, I just didn't take your side. You

0:06:50.800 --> 0:06:52.719
<v Speaker 1>wanted me to help you get this woman back, and

0:06:52.800 --> 0:06:54.360
<v Speaker 1>she's done. It was nothing I can do. It was

0:06:54.400 --> 0:06:57.520
<v Speaker 1>out of my hands. I've watched you cheat on her before.

0:06:57.960 --> 0:07:01.360
<v Speaker 1>I've watched it even as a can kid. So like

0:07:01.960 --> 0:07:05.039
<v Speaker 1>this has been going on, What do you do when

0:07:05.040 --> 0:07:07.960
<v Speaker 1>your favorite parents is your dad. But this ni cheating

0:07:08.000 --> 0:07:12.800
<v Speaker 1>on your mom. Some kids would say, yeah, my little

0:07:12.920 --> 0:07:15.640
<v Speaker 1>nine ten year old ass didn't. I wanted to keep

0:07:15.680 --> 0:07:19.000
<v Speaker 1>that secret for my dad, so I did as an adult.

0:07:19.040 --> 0:07:21.200
<v Speaker 1>I apologized about these things to my mom. I I

0:07:21.280 --> 0:07:23.240
<v Speaker 1>told her, like, you know, she didn't blame me. I

0:07:23.280 --> 0:07:26.040
<v Speaker 1>was a kid, all right, cool, But um, I definitely

0:07:26.040 --> 0:07:28.200
<v Speaker 1>had to make that apology because I knew that it

0:07:28.280 --> 0:07:30.560
<v Speaker 1>was wrong back then as well. But I also knew

0:07:30.600 --> 0:07:32.280
<v Speaker 1>that I didn't want my dad to be pissed at

0:07:32.280 --> 0:07:34.760
<v Speaker 1>me for going back telling my mom some ship that

0:07:34.760 --> 0:07:36.640
<v Speaker 1>could have got him kicked off the house, or that

0:07:36.680 --> 0:07:39.640
<v Speaker 1>could have bought us to this divorce way earlier. I'm

0:07:39.640 --> 0:07:42.920
<v Speaker 1>really just being a good, good kid, just trying to

0:07:43.000 --> 0:07:46.720
<v Speaker 1>keep the peace. Right now, fast forward back to today,

0:07:46.880 --> 0:07:48.600
<v Speaker 1>Me and my dad talked about him coming. Me and

0:07:48.640 --> 0:07:50.360
<v Speaker 1>my dad. He was supposed to bring my little sister. Now,

0:07:50.400 --> 0:07:52.720
<v Speaker 1>mind you, I have a little sister that my dad

0:07:52.760 --> 0:07:55.800
<v Speaker 1>had outside of the marriage. Um, he was still married

0:07:55.920 --> 0:07:57.640
<v Speaker 1>to my mom. But yeah, that's how I have a

0:07:57.640 --> 0:08:00.640
<v Speaker 1>little sister that's his daughter, and my mom claims her

0:08:01.080 --> 0:08:03.960
<v Speaker 1>just like she is my mom's biological daughter as well.

0:08:04.000 --> 0:08:06.120
<v Speaker 1>So there's no love lost there, none of that ship.

0:08:06.240 --> 0:08:08.360
<v Speaker 1>It took a while to get there, but we're there.

0:08:08.440 --> 0:08:11.320
<v Speaker 1>We're all a good fucking family now. Everything is good.

0:08:11.360 --> 0:08:15.600
<v Speaker 1>Everybody's good. The thing is, my dad still feels some

0:08:15.640 --> 0:08:18.880
<v Speaker 1>type of way. So he told me a few months ago, Look,

0:08:19.320 --> 0:08:21.960
<v Speaker 1>I'm moving to Boston. I gotta start of I can't

0:08:22.000 --> 0:08:23.560
<v Speaker 1>live here. And it is what it is now. This

0:08:23.640 --> 0:08:25.200
<v Speaker 1>is just the motions that you go through when you

0:08:25.240 --> 0:08:27.920
<v Speaker 1>lose a good woman, you know, and it's your fault.

0:08:28.280 --> 0:08:30.080
<v Speaker 1>And I get that, so I'm not gonna keep beating

0:08:30.160 --> 0:08:31.800
<v Speaker 1>up on them. But no, I didn't want them to go.

0:08:32.440 --> 0:08:35.280
<v Speaker 1>I expressed to my mom this ship. She didn't want

0:08:35.320 --> 0:08:37.320
<v Speaker 1>them to go either, not even the fact that old

0:08:37.559 --> 0:08:39.360
<v Speaker 1>I miss you and that I might we may work

0:08:39.360 --> 0:08:42.400
<v Speaker 1>things out, just because Yo, we got kids here, your

0:08:42.400 --> 0:08:44.800
<v Speaker 1>life is here, your family's here. You got a sick mom.

0:08:44.880 --> 0:08:47.280
<v Speaker 1>My grandmother has dementia. Why the funk would you leave?

0:08:47.320 --> 0:08:49.280
<v Speaker 1>And even if you take her up there, you still

0:08:49.280 --> 0:08:50.800
<v Speaker 1>gotta work. Which're gonna put her in the home All

0:08:50.840 --> 0:08:53.319
<v Speaker 1>the way in Boston. It don't make sense. So you're

0:08:53.320 --> 0:08:56.120
<v Speaker 1>still making decisions selfishly. You know, you've got more to

0:08:56.160 --> 0:08:58.280
<v Speaker 1>live for it than just you. It's always been about

0:08:58.320 --> 0:09:00.920
<v Speaker 1>you all your life, Like no, uh, let it be

0:09:00.960 --> 0:09:05.720
<v Speaker 1>about family practice, caring about others a little bit more.

0:09:06.080 --> 0:09:08.000
<v Speaker 1>I talked to his man up until the show day

0:09:08.120 --> 0:09:10.439
<v Speaker 1>he was coming. So my mom is the one that

0:09:10.520 --> 0:09:12.280
<v Speaker 1>told me, because he actually expressed in my mom like,

0:09:12.800 --> 0:09:15.480
<v Speaker 1>I don't feel comfortable coming knowing that your man is

0:09:15.520 --> 0:09:17.320
<v Speaker 1>gonna be there. I'm not ready to see you with

0:09:17.720 --> 0:09:20.640
<v Speaker 1>somebody else. Yet she felt like that was selfish, but

0:09:20.720 --> 0:09:22.400
<v Speaker 1>she told him, Okay, I respect it. You're gonna have

0:09:22.440 --> 0:09:24.400
<v Speaker 1>to tell your daughter yourself. That's not something I can

0:09:24.400 --> 0:09:26.280
<v Speaker 1>tell her for you. You You have to tell her because

0:09:26.600 --> 0:09:29.080
<v Speaker 1>she thinks you're coming to the show. He told her

0:09:29.080 --> 0:09:30.720
<v Speaker 1>that he would tell me. He never called me and

0:09:30.720 --> 0:09:34.320
<v Speaker 1>told me anything. So after the show and everything, that

0:09:34.320 --> 0:09:37.160
<v Speaker 1>ship hit me the next day, I cried, it's my nigga. Man,

0:09:37.200 --> 0:09:38.960
<v Speaker 1>you supposed to be my nigga like you now. Me

0:09:39.000 --> 0:09:40.560
<v Speaker 1>and my dad went through a rough patch as well

0:09:40.600 --> 0:09:42.880
<v Speaker 1>after the divorce, but we got back. We're good. We're

0:09:42.880 --> 0:09:45.880
<v Speaker 1>not like we used to be, and after him missing

0:09:45.880 --> 0:09:48.960
<v Speaker 1>this ship, I don't think that we ever will and

0:09:49.000 --> 0:09:51.160
<v Speaker 1>I really would love to, for the life of me

0:09:51.240 --> 0:09:54.280
<v Speaker 1>be the same. Boo boo to him, like because that's

0:09:54.280 --> 0:09:56.680
<v Speaker 1>what that's what he calls me, booboo. But I feel

0:09:56.720 --> 0:09:59.480
<v Speaker 1>so fucking betrayed, Like you're so selfish. You can go

0:09:59.559 --> 0:10:02.560
<v Speaker 1>around is hurting people any fucking way you want to

0:10:02.679 --> 0:10:06.720
<v Speaker 1>any and everybody at your conveniance. But because you ain't

0:10:06.760 --> 0:10:10.280
<v Speaker 1>ready to see somebody in your eyesight, you ain't ready

0:10:10.280 --> 0:10:14.200
<v Speaker 1>to see somebody with your now ex wife nigga, who

0:10:14.280 --> 0:10:16.680
<v Speaker 1>you thought would never leave your ass for all the

0:10:16.679 --> 0:10:19.679
<v Speaker 1>ship that you've done. Now I gotta suffer for that.

0:10:20.480 --> 0:10:22.600
<v Speaker 1>I don't care. I don't care. I gotta suffer for

0:10:22.679 --> 0:10:25.760
<v Speaker 1>that now, right, Huh. It's bad enough you don't come

0:10:25.800 --> 0:10:27.960
<v Speaker 1>to no fucking shows? And what do I do? You

0:10:28.000 --> 0:10:30.160
<v Speaker 1>ask me all the time, support my karaoke thing, my

0:10:30.240 --> 0:10:32.960
<v Speaker 1>dad's a DJ, or support this, support that, throw this up,

0:10:33.160 --> 0:10:35.080
<v Speaker 1>tell us that you know posts get me, try to

0:10:35.080 --> 0:10:37.120
<v Speaker 1>get me more people that more clients and all that.

0:10:37.240 --> 0:10:39.800
<v Speaker 1>And I do that ship, I do that ship. I

0:10:39.920 --> 0:10:42.520
<v Speaker 1>do it do I have to know you're my dad,

0:10:42.640 --> 0:10:44.640
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna do it. I want to keep money in

0:10:44.640 --> 0:10:46.840
<v Speaker 1>your pockets, just like I keep money in my mom's pockets,

0:10:46.960 --> 0:10:49.160
<v Speaker 1>just like I keep money in other family member's pockets

0:10:49.200 --> 0:10:51.360
<v Speaker 1>just like I'm paying bills for other people too, And

0:10:51.400 --> 0:10:53.480
<v Speaker 1>it's just like I gotta pay my own I take

0:10:53.520 --> 0:10:55.200
<v Speaker 1>care of my son, I take care a lot of

0:10:55.200 --> 0:10:58.000
<v Speaker 1>people around me, a lot of people that depends on me.

0:10:58.280 --> 0:11:01.040
<v Speaker 1>And I'm depending on you just to show up. All

0:11:01.040 --> 0:11:03.439
<v Speaker 1>I want you to do is show up. That's all

0:11:03.480 --> 0:11:05.280
<v Speaker 1>I want you to do. Now, Listen. While my dad

0:11:05.320 --> 0:11:07.839
<v Speaker 1>never asked me for no money. Never, my dad never

0:11:07.880 --> 0:11:10.200
<v Speaker 1>asked me for ship. Since I've been famous, my dad

0:11:10.280 --> 0:11:12.840
<v Speaker 1>only asked me for a pair of fucking pumas. I'm

0:11:12.880 --> 0:11:15.920
<v Speaker 1>gonna give it to him. On that he ever ever

0:11:16.120 --> 0:11:18.439
<v Speaker 1>come to me with his hand out. He ain't ever.

0:11:19.200 --> 0:11:21.840
<v Speaker 1>In fact, he hates to see other people use me.

0:11:22.440 --> 0:11:24.920
<v Speaker 1>That's one thing about him. He never been like that.

0:11:25.440 --> 0:11:28.520
<v Speaker 1>I remember a time my dad, he was in between

0:11:28.640 --> 0:11:31.360
<v Speaker 1>jobs and he was really going through it. He couldn't

0:11:31.360 --> 0:11:34.679
<v Speaker 1>pay bills. My mom was handling everything. You know, she's

0:11:34.720 --> 0:11:37.360
<v Speaker 1>a business owner. My mom's an entrepreneur. She has her

0:11:37.400 --> 0:11:42.559
<v Speaker 1>own preschool. Ben had it for years. So it's something

0:11:42.559 --> 0:11:45.280
<v Speaker 1>about a man not being able to provide for his family. Man.

0:11:45.320 --> 0:11:49.480
<v Speaker 1>That man was literally about to kill hisself. He was

0:11:49.520 --> 0:11:52.240
<v Speaker 1>suicidal in this moment. He just could not make ship shake.

0:11:52.360 --> 0:11:55.120
<v Speaker 1>But what saves him was the fact that he would

0:11:55.160 --> 0:11:58.760
<v Speaker 1>be leaving us here. He would be leaving us here

0:11:58.960 --> 0:12:01.800
<v Speaker 1>to really have to in without him. But I remember

0:12:01.840 --> 0:12:03.600
<v Speaker 1>my mom telling me that because that's something that he

0:12:03.640 --> 0:12:06.320
<v Speaker 1>never would even want his kids to know. That he

0:12:06.440 --> 0:12:09.319
<v Speaker 1>was about to kill himself. He was contemplating checking the

0:12:09.360 --> 0:12:11.040
<v Speaker 1>funk up out of here because he couldn't provide for

0:12:11.120 --> 0:12:16.160
<v Speaker 1>us those moments, those fucking moments. And I thank God

0:12:16.200 --> 0:12:18.880
<v Speaker 1>that I still have my dad, But do I really

0:12:18.920 --> 0:12:22.920
<v Speaker 1>got you? It's like, yo, when my mom divorced him,

0:12:23.040 --> 0:12:25.319
<v Speaker 1>he divorced us. And when I say us, I mean

0:12:25.360 --> 0:12:27.600
<v Speaker 1>me and my son. My son used to spend so

0:12:27.720 --> 0:12:32.440
<v Speaker 1>much time with my fucking dad, bro, Like they look alike.

0:12:33.080 --> 0:12:35.760
<v Speaker 1>If you are avid guestillaries fans and watchers and listeners

0:12:35.760 --> 0:12:37.640
<v Speaker 1>and viewers and ship, you know my son looked more

0:12:37.720 --> 0:12:41.760
<v Speaker 1>like my dad than his dad period. Like that ship

0:12:41.880 --> 0:12:44.120
<v Speaker 1>is crazy. You know what I'm saying now, I ain't

0:12:44.160 --> 0:12:46.960
<v Speaker 1>got the most functional family and less and in fact,

0:12:46.960 --> 0:12:50.079
<v Speaker 1>it's a bunch of dysfunction going on. My biological brother Kevin,

0:12:50.120 --> 0:12:53.200
<v Speaker 1>who y'all never see we've a beefing or or we

0:12:53.280 --> 0:12:55.640
<v Speaker 1>are right, we just mutual. We just called you and ship,

0:12:55.880 --> 0:12:58.840
<v Speaker 1>but that's my man's too. We just never see out

0:12:58.840 --> 0:13:02.560
<v Speaker 1>of eye at her. I wish we could, we can't.

0:13:03.440 --> 0:13:06.040
<v Speaker 1>You know he has an anger streak as ship is

0:13:06.080 --> 0:13:10.199
<v Speaker 1>just built up for whatever reasons. You know, my mom,

0:13:10.600 --> 0:13:13.560
<v Speaker 1>my dad, I really really want them to be like

0:13:13.679 --> 0:13:16.440
<v Speaker 1>how me and my son's dad are. That's gonna take

0:13:16.520 --> 0:13:19.160
<v Speaker 1>years and years and years if that ever happens. But

0:13:19.720 --> 0:13:22.200
<v Speaker 1>that ship hurt me to my core. The fact that

0:13:22.240 --> 0:13:26.080
<v Speaker 1>my dad still didn't even apologize to this fucking day

0:13:26.080 --> 0:13:28.240
<v Speaker 1>for not coming, for not missing, because he don't really

0:13:28.240 --> 0:13:30.680
<v Speaker 1>feel like nothing is wrong. He's gonna tell my little sister,

0:13:31.280 --> 0:13:33.280
<v Speaker 1>I could just fly out to another show. Nigga, don't

0:13:33.320 --> 0:13:36.680
<v Speaker 1>come to nothing. Don't come to none of them, and

0:13:36.720 --> 0:13:38.880
<v Speaker 1>I won't show up to your karaoke ship no more,

0:13:39.440 --> 0:13:41.600
<v Speaker 1>even though that's my favorite thing to do in the world,

0:13:41.880 --> 0:13:43.440
<v Speaker 1>is to get on the mic and really act like

0:13:43.480 --> 0:13:44.960
<v Speaker 1>I can think and y'all know that I can a

0:13:44.960 --> 0:13:48.240
<v Speaker 1>little bit, but I'll never be at one of them again.

0:13:48.960 --> 0:13:53.120
<v Speaker 1>That fucked me up as your daughter, you know, somebody

0:13:53.160 --> 0:13:56.240
<v Speaker 1>that he was really really close to. If you love me,

0:13:56.320 --> 0:13:58.840
<v Speaker 1>you'll listen to this commercial and then we'll be right back.

0:13:59.840 --> 0:14:02.440
<v Speaker 1>And if that ain't bad enough. So my mom is like,

0:14:02.480 --> 0:14:04.760
<v Speaker 1>all right, after you tell your daughter you ain't coming,

0:14:04.960 --> 0:14:07.480
<v Speaker 1>let me know because honestly we need somebody to watch

0:14:07.600 --> 0:14:10.040
<v Speaker 1>Ash because Jerome is coming to the show now, you know,

0:14:10.120 --> 0:14:13.040
<v Speaker 1>asked my son? All right, cool? Now? My dad told

0:14:13.040 --> 0:14:14.760
<v Speaker 1>me that he was gonna start getting him on Sundays

0:14:14.800 --> 0:14:18.080
<v Speaker 1>because I stressed to him before, like I previously told him,

0:14:18.120 --> 0:14:20.280
<v Speaker 1>like look that I feel like you give us the

0:14:20.320 --> 0:14:22.360
<v Speaker 1>short end of the stick because mom, divorce you. It's

0:14:22.400 --> 0:14:23.960
<v Speaker 1>like you don't see me, you don't see Ash. You

0:14:23.960 --> 0:14:25.960
<v Speaker 1>don't really give a funk about calling him. But none

0:14:25.960 --> 0:14:29.240
<v Speaker 1>of that ship like nothing. My son needs his grandfather seriously,

0:14:29.560 --> 0:14:31.920
<v Speaker 1>he really only has one active one in his life,

0:14:32.080 --> 0:14:34.680
<v Speaker 1>and that was you, Like, come on, bro, like where

0:14:34.760 --> 0:14:37.240
<v Speaker 1>you at? My son always asks about him? Was that

0:14:37.320 --> 0:14:38.920
<v Speaker 1>he used to ask about them way more when the

0:14:38.960 --> 0:14:42.200
<v Speaker 1>divorce first went down. But you know, kids be like

0:14:42.200 --> 0:14:44.760
<v Speaker 1>all right, whatever, you know, No, that's your grandfather. The

0:14:44.840 --> 0:14:47.760
<v Speaker 1>fun He used to look forward to every Saturday, football

0:14:47.800 --> 0:14:50.760
<v Speaker 1>with my grandfather, Football with Pop Hop That's what he

0:14:50.800 --> 0:14:53.600
<v Speaker 1>looked forward to. He don't see you, you don't call him.

0:14:53.760 --> 0:14:57.560
<v Speaker 1>None of that ship so what's up. But you'll go

0:14:57.640 --> 0:15:01.160
<v Speaker 1>out there with Kevin ke and as my brother. You'll

0:15:01.200 --> 0:15:03.200
<v Speaker 1>go out there with your son and his girls. You'll

0:15:03.240 --> 0:15:06.720
<v Speaker 1>see his daughters. Yeah, I mean you'll see your grandkids. Yeah,

0:15:06.760 --> 0:15:09.120
<v Speaker 1>your other grandkids. Why is it because you felt like

0:15:09.120 --> 0:15:12.280
<v Speaker 1>I took Mommy's side, Because honestly, this ship kind of

0:15:12.280 --> 0:15:15.760
<v Speaker 1>divided everybody. My brother took his side. I took my

0:15:15.800 --> 0:15:18.960
<v Speaker 1>mom's side, the side that's, in all fairness, that somebody's

0:15:19.000 --> 0:15:22.080
<v Speaker 1>side of getting cheated on. That's what I took. I

0:15:22.160 --> 0:15:23.920
<v Speaker 1>also did tell my mom you allowed a lot of

0:15:23.920 --> 0:15:25.640
<v Speaker 1>this ship too. But I'm not gonna beat up on

0:15:25.680 --> 0:15:28.080
<v Speaker 1>you no more than you already been getting beat up

0:15:28.160 --> 0:15:32.920
<v Speaker 1>this whole goddad marriage, not physically but mentally emotionally. All

0:15:32.960 --> 0:15:35.560
<v Speaker 1>that ship is painful, all of that ship, all the

0:15:35.560 --> 0:15:38.440
<v Speaker 1>neglect and all that. So it kind of separated. It's

0:15:38.440 --> 0:15:40.800
<v Speaker 1>the drove a wedge between the whole family. All right, cool?

0:15:41.160 --> 0:15:43.200
<v Speaker 1>But is that why my son gets the short end?

0:15:43.520 --> 0:15:45.600
<v Speaker 1>So my Mom's like, all right, well, can you watch

0:15:45.720 --> 0:15:48.600
<v Speaker 1>Ashton for the show since you ain't coming to the show.

0:15:49.160 --> 0:15:51.480
<v Speaker 1>He like, oh no, I got a birthday party to DJ.

0:15:51.840 --> 0:15:54.520
<v Speaker 1>Why do I find out that the birthday party that

0:15:54.600 --> 0:15:57.560
<v Speaker 1>you dj is your girlfriend's grandson, so it's the kid's

0:15:57.640 --> 0:16:00.080
<v Speaker 1>party to go out of. My son couldn't come. I

0:16:00.080 --> 0:16:03.640
<v Speaker 1>couldn't he come. That ship makes no sense. It makes

0:16:03.680 --> 0:16:07.400
<v Speaker 1>no sense. Ever, it will never make sense to me.

0:16:07.800 --> 0:16:11.240
<v Speaker 1>So I sent him a nice long text message. Look, yeah,

0:16:11.240 --> 0:16:12.720
<v Speaker 1>I didn't even think this ship would bother me, but

0:16:12.720 --> 0:16:15.080
<v Speaker 1>it does. It was real selfish and real fun up

0:16:15.080 --> 0:16:17.240
<v Speaker 1>that you only think about yourself and that you really

0:16:17.560 --> 0:16:20.600
<v Speaker 1>only you know what I'm saying, like you you. I

0:16:20.600 --> 0:16:23.480
<v Speaker 1>didn't even get a congratulations a call. You texted me

0:16:23.520 --> 0:16:25.880
<v Speaker 1>the next day. It was like, congratulations on your plague.

0:16:25.920 --> 0:16:29.200
<v Speaker 1>I said, thanks, kept moving. That ship hurt even worse.

0:16:29.400 --> 0:16:31.080
<v Speaker 1>You didn't even call me. You ain't called me to

0:16:31.120 --> 0:16:33.600
<v Speaker 1>say yo, I'm sorry, I ain't come nothing. You didn't

0:16:33.680 --> 0:16:35.680
<v Speaker 1>do nothing. So then he called me, but I was

0:16:35.720 --> 0:16:37.920
<v Speaker 1>around my mom, so I didn't want to sing phony

0:16:38.000 --> 0:16:39.680
<v Speaker 1>or nothing. I said, I call you when I get home.

0:16:40.080 --> 0:16:42.640
<v Speaker 1>He was like, all right, cool, I ain't never call him.

0:16:42.880 --> 0:16:45.480
<v Speaker 1>I didn't, but you think he called me back? Nah?

0:16:45.560 --> 0:16:47.320
<v Speaker 1>He just started texting me the next day like nothing

0:16:47.320 --> 0:16:50.320
<v Speaker 1>ever happened. He sent me pictures of him looking nice.

0:16:50.960 --> 0:16:52.640
<v Speaker 1>I said, I yeah, you look nice, dad. He said,

0:16:52.640 --> 0:16:55.520
<v Speaker 1>you look amazing too. Baby said, okay, cool, that's it.

0:16:56.600 --> 0:17:00.360
<v Speaker 1>That's it. Wayne talks since then. But that's the problem

0:17:00.400 --> 0:17:03.080
<v Speaker 1>with me in this family, like my family, like me

0:17:03.120 --> 0:17:06.000
<v Speaker 1>and him, we always do that, like we never talked

0:17:06.040 --> 0:17:09.400
<v Speaker 1>about ship. I'll send him a message. He'll know he's wrong.

0:17:09.400 --> 0:17:11.840
<v Speaker 1>He'm gonna say sorry about it. He's gonna keep on going.

0:17:11.920 --> 0:17:14.760
<v Speaker 1>And when you see me, nothing ever happened. Nah, I

0:17:14.760 --> 0:17:17.240
<v Speaker 1>don't funk with you for that. That's fucked up to me,

0:17:17.920 --> 0:17:20.879
<v Speaker 1>and he will literally act like nothing happened. I'm gonna

0:17:20.880 --> 0:17:23.400
<v Speaker 1>call my mom like I did, tell how I wasn't going,

0:17:23.880 --> 0:17:26.840
<v Speaker 1>so you did, and then get you lying. You're lying

0:17:27.480 --> 0:17:30.920
<v Speaker 1>in line for what I'm thirty years old. I'm thirty now.

0:17:31.560 --> 0:17:33.480
<v Speaker 1>I'm saying that proudly. That means I'm not a little

0:17:33.520 --> 0:17:35.640
<v Speaker 1>as kid. You can't just tell me anything no more.

0:17:35.840 --> 0:17:37.760
<v Speaker 1>You can't just lie on me and ship no more.

0:17:37.960 --> 0:17:41.000
<v Speaker 1>You can't. I didn't know because you didn't tell me

0:17:41.040 --> 0:17:43.560
<v Speaker 1>you wasn't coming, because I would have gladly and proudly

0:17:43.600 --> 0:17:45.360
<v Speaker 1>expressed how the funk that would have made me feel.

0:17:45.400 --> 0:17:46.960
<v Speaker 1>When you're saying that ship to me in that moment,

0:17:47.440 --> 0:17:50.479
<v Speaker 1>and that's why you didn't tell me. But it's all good. Listen.

0:17:50.880 --> 0:17:53.040
<v Speaker 1>The more of this ship before I get out of here,

0:17:53.359 --> 0:17:56.199
<v Speaker 1>is to show up for people. Please show up for

0:17:56.200 --> 0:17:58.040
<v Speaker 1>people the same way you want to be showed up

0:17:58.040 --> 0:18:01.520
<v Speaker 1>for the same fucking way, because that's how they're gonna

0:18:01.560 --> 0:18:03.880
<v Speaker 1>remember you all. That motherfucker had a lot of ship

0:18:03.920 --> 0:18:06.399
<v Speaker 1>with him. Look that nigga always showed up for me.

0:18:06.960 --> 0:18:09.679
<v Speaker 1>Jess always was talking about people, whatever, whatever, but that

0:18:09.800 --> 0:18:13.240
<v Speaker 1>bit showed up for everybody she loved. Look, she might

0:18:13.280 --> 0:18:15.159
<v Speaker 1>not she may have done this, she may have done that,

0:18:15.440 --> 0:18:19.800
<v Speaker 1>but she was a loyal motherfucker who always showed up

0:18:20.280 --> 0:18:24.960
<v Speaker 1>for her people, her family, her close friends, everybody. So

0:18:25.040 --> 0:18:26.880
<v Speaker 1>make sure you keep that in mind and make sure

0:18:26.920 --> 0:18:29.879
<v Speaker 1>you check on those people that you're showing up for.

0:18:30.359 --> 0:18:32.720
<v Speaker 1>Make sure they're good, you know, even if it's something

0:18:32.720 --> 0:18:34.840
<v Speaker 1>that you can't do for them, as simple how you doing,

0:18:34.880 --> 0:18:37.120
<v Speaker 1>you're good, you're feel you're feeling good, or I'm sorry

0:18:37.119 --> 0:18:38.680
<v Speaker 1>I couldn't make it as saying that you got a plaque.

0:18:38.680 --> 0:18:40.520
<v Speaker 1>I just wanted to call you and congratulate you. Even

0:18:40.560 --> 0:18:44.040
<v Speaker 1>if you can't show up. Sometimes make it your business

0:18:44.040 --> 0:18:49.160
<v Speaker 1>to show why to tell somebody why a fucking congratulations

0:18:49.240 --> 0:18:51.480
<v Speaker 1>card face to face would have been better than a

0:18:51.560 --> 0:18:56.159
<v Speaker 1>fucking text message and some bitch ass emojis. Come on, man,

0:18:56.160 --> 0:18:58.920
<v Speaker 1>that ship don't mean nothing to me. We're better than that.

0:18:59.280 --> 0:19:01.720
<v Speaker 1>I'm your daughter, and it don't look like that ship

0:19:01.760 --> 0:19:05.520
<v Speaker 1>gonna change. It can't change. I can't stop being at y' old.

0:19:06.080 --> 0:19:08.359
<v Speaker 1>You lost your wife, you didn't lose none of your kids,

0:19:08.880 --> 0:19:11.480
<v Speaker 1>so you remember that, and it's just like that, y'all.

0:19:11.480 --> 0:19:14.880
<v Speaker 1>We come to yet the end of another Carefully Reckless

0:19:14.920 --> 0:19:18.399
<v Speaker 1>episode with your girl Jess. Hilarious tune in every Wednesday

0:19:18.760 --> 0:19:22.480
<v Speaker 1>seven am. Hump Day also turned into Reckless Discussions. We

0:19:22.600 --> 0:19:25.359
<v Speaker 1>got one dropping in about twelve. I was y'all, make

0:19:25.359 --> 0:19:28.040
<v Speaker 1>sure y'all tune in on YouTube with me and my

0:19:28.080 --> 0:19:48.560
<v Speaker 1>crazy ass family Reckless Discussions, Love y'all. Piece. Carefully Reckless

0:19:48.640 --> 0:19:51.440
<v Speaker 1>is a production of I Heart Radio and The Black Effect.

0:19:51.640 --> 0:19:54.200
<v Speaker 1>For more podcasts from My Heart Radio, visit the I

0:19:54.320 --> 0:19:57.840
<v Speaker 1>Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to

0:19:57.880 --> 0:19:58.639
<v Speaker 1>your favorite shows.