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Speaker 1: First Date follow Up powered by the Advocates Injury Attorneys

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Speaker 1: online at Advocates Law dot com.

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Speaker 2: Elliott is on the phone today for a first date

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Speaker 2: follow up. He's getting ghosted by a woman named Zoe Elliott.

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Speaker 2: Before we get into why you think you're getting ghosted

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Speaker 2: and stuff, how long has it been since you heard

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Speaker 2: from Zoe?

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Speaker 3: Uh, it's coveral weeks.

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Speaker 4: And in that time, how how many times did you

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Speaker 4: try to reach out to her?

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Speaker 1: Oh?

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Speaker 3: Only really twice?

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Speaker 5: You know, I did the follow up after a data

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Speaker 5: followed up the next day and then you're back, and.

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Speaker 3: Then I waited. Sometime later in the week.

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Speaker 6: I texted her one more time and it was like, hey,

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Speaker 6: you know, it's checking in or something.

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Speaker 3: I forgot what I said and then I left it.

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Speaker 5: You know, I know more times you tax the last

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Speaker 5: chance you have ever seen that person again.

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Speaker 7: Kind of tell us about your date with Zoe.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, so we were set up between mutual friends and

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Speaker 6: we I've always wanted to go indoor skydiving.

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Speaker 5: Well I'm actually I've always want to go outdoors sakai diving,

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Speaker 5: but I thought I start within.

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Speaker 3: She thought it sounded.

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Speaker 6: Fun, and we did it, and uh, it turns out

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Speaker 6: she was actually really nervous about heights, so she may

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Speaker 6: have it may have been a reluctant yes that I

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Speaker 6: couldn't read through text, so we didn't do much of it.

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Speaker 6: Then we just went to a restaurant and had good conversation.

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Speaker 6: I thought we clicked and uh, and then I dropped

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Speaker 6: her off to her house, you know, no intimacy and UH,

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Speaker 6: haven't heard back.

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Speaker 4: How did she handle the skydiving part, even though like

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Speaker 4: she wasn't a huge fan? Was she freaking out? Did

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Speaker 4: she do it anyway? Was she cheering you on?

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Speaker 6: No, she she was freaking out, But I thought it

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Speaker 6: was like a fun freaking out, like you know, like

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Speaker 6: you nervous before doing something. But then I think, as

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Speaker 6: as we did as I you know, I learned she

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Speaker 6: wasn't into it at all, and I didn't intend to

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Speaker 6: make her do something she didn't want to do it,

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Speaker 6: you know, so I misread it.

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Speaker 2: I guess you think that that wouldn't be something that

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Speaker 2: would be a deal breaker, though necessarily I don't know, Nina.

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Speaker 2: Would it be a deal breaker for you if a

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Speaker 2: guy took you indoor skydiving and then you found out

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Speaker 2: you absolutely hated the experience.

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Speaker 4: I want to say yes off the bat. However, it

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Speaker 4: reminds me of the time where I don't do bridge jumping.

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Speaker 4: I don't do any of that kind of stuff. I

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Speaker 4: get scared. So there was a guy that I was with,

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Speaker 4: we were all on vacation in Mexico, and he's like,

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Speaker 4: come on, just do it because I never would have

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Speaker 4: done it otherwise. But I did it because he made

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Speaker 4: me do it, and I was so thankful. Really yeah, okay,

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Speaker 4: so it ended up being a good thing because he

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Speaker 4: made me face my fears. So you know, it could

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Speaker 4: be a good thing.

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Speaker 8: I should also add that I'm that I'm kind of

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Speaker 8: hoping that that's the reason, because I forgot to mention

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Speaker 8: him also divorced, and that definitely came up during our

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Speaker 8: dinner conversation, and you know, that could potentially be a reason.

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Speaker 2: You were set up through friends, So she didn't know

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Speaker 2: you were divorced before the date.

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Speaker 3: I don't know knew before and but we talked about

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Speaker 3: it curing dinner.

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Speaker 4: It's a lot for a person to handle, I think,

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Speaker 4: but if you communicate all of those things really well,

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Speaker 4: then it's you can you know, you can digest it.

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Speaker 1: I mean if you don't mind me asking, since it

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Speaker 1: started in like three weeks, is there any like reason

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Speaker 1: you really really want to get a hold of her

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Speaker 1: and out like it's.

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Speaker 4: Been a hot minute. You're You're not wrong, No, you're not.

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Speaker 7: That's a good question, Victoria.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, I guess I've been in my shell since the divorced,

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Speaker 6: and so this is like my first coming out of

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Speaker 6: shell moment, and so you're probably right.

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Speaker 3: I probably shouldn't be so focused on it, but I am.

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Speaker 4: But also the upside, even if you are focused on it,

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Speaker 4: whether you end up dating her again, at least you'll

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Speaker 4: know what the situation and issue was as you continue

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Speaker 4: to move forward post divorce life. Right, Sure, that's true

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Speaker 4: all positive spin guys.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because getting back to the dating world after a

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Speaker 2: divorce has to be difficult.

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Speaker 3: Well yeah, I mean I've been, I've been, you know.

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Speaker 5: I haven't done it or even really suit it, and

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Speaker 5: so yeah, I was nervous about this.

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Speaker 2: The pony's been in the stable for a long time,

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Speaker 2: and the pony is just learning to get out and

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Speaker 2: run again.

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Speaker 4: And just wants to run wid I mean all the

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Speaker 4: other part of it too. I will say, for her

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Speaker 4: to find out that the pony needs to run wild.

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Speaker 4: It's like, well, maybe she wants to put a pony

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Speaker 4: in a stable, and so if she's meeting a wild horse, yeah,

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Speaker 4: I rather have a tame one. What the hell are

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Speaker 4: you talking about?

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Speaker 7: A a little loss?

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Speaker 3: How are you talking about Sky?

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Speaker 8: I mean, I guess there's something of its, Like we

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Speaker 8: didn't go skyliving indoors?

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Speaker 7: All right, Elliott, a big pony. We're gonna do.

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Speaker 2: We're gonna play a song, come back and then call

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Speaker 2: her and see if we can figure it out for

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Speaker 2: you and maybe get you another date if you still

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Speaker 2: want one up to hear why okay, alrighty, all right,

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Speaker 2: we'll play a song, come back and get your first

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Speaker 2: date follow up next. I'm personally excited to watch the

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Speaker 2: pony run. Watch Elliott, who's on the phone right now

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Speaker 2: for a first date follow up, get out of the

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Speaker 2: stable and let his the hair whip through his mane

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Speaker 2: and as he runs down an open field, saying if

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Speaker 2: he can get another date with Zoe, who's ghostinging, Elliott

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Speaker 2: just refresher, what is a memory of your situation before

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Speaker 2: we give our call?

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Speaker 6: Yeah, so we're friends of friends, so we were introduced

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Speaker 6: that way, And I thought it would be fun to

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Speaker 6: go into our skydiving.

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Speaker 3: Turns out she was really nervous about it and didn't

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Speaker 3: like it.

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Speaker 6: So part of me is like, maybe that's why she's

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Speaker 6: ghost to me, or it's the fact that I'm divorced.

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Speaker 6: But we had a really nice dinner together afterward and

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Speaker 6: I haven't heard since.

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Speaker 9: All.

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Speaker 7: Right, here we go.

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Speaker 2: I'm a dollar phone number right now, and we'll see

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Speaker 2: if we can figure it out for you. Hello, I

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Speaker 2: may speak to Zoe please.

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Speaker 9: Yeah, hey, Zoe.

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Speaker 7: How are you? My name is jewbl from a radio

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Speaker 7: show called The Jewbil Show.

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Speaker 4: Im I'm Victoria.

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Speaker 7: I'm also on the show.

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Speaker 9: So many people here.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, there's three of us on the phone right now,

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Speaker 2: and we're calling you because one of our listeners actually

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Speaker 2: sent us an email about you.

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Speaker 7: So we need to ask you a question. If that's okay?

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Speaker 9: Oh no, I'm it. Should I be nervous?

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Speaker 7: I don't think so.

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Speaker 2: We're on the phone because one because we do a

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Speaker 2: segment called the First Date follow Up, where if somebody

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Speaker 2: goes on a date and gets ghosted, they can email

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Speaker 2: us to get the other person on the phone and

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Speaker 2: ask why they are ghosting them. We got an email

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Speaker 2: about you from I like to call him a stallion.

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Speaker 2: I don't know why, but a stallion named Elliott.

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Speaker 9: Oh. Elliott.

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Speaker 1: Oh, I thought when you were talking about the first date,

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Speaker 1: saying it it was probably Elliott.

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Speaker 9: Oh okay, yeah.

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Speaker 2: So he says it's been a few weeks since he

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Speaker 2: talked to him, and he wants to know, why do

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Speaker 2: you mind telling us? I?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, sure, it's weird. I actually had a really good

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Speaker 1: time on the date with Elliott. I mean sort of

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Speaker 1: like I don't know if he told you, but he

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Speaker 1: took me indoor skuydiving, which I was not a fan of.

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Speaker 1: I'm just afraid of heights and anyway, but he did it,

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Speaker 1: and like I tried and it was.

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Speaker 9: No but I watched him and anyway, it was fine.

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Speaker 1: And then we went to dinner and we had fun.

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Speaker 9: I don't know why I'm not.

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Speaker 1: Getting back to him. I think maybe there's a little

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Speaker 1: piece of me that is concerned about him being divorced.

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Speaker 1: I haven't been married before, and I don't know. I

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Speaker 1: just feel like, if he's coming out of a divorce,

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Speaker 1: is he gonna want to be like just dating around?

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Speaker 9: How curious does he want to be? I don't know.

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Speaker 9: I guess that just kind of concerns me a little.

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Speaker 4: What do you want, Zoe, Well.

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Speaker 1: I'm looking for a life's partner, like I want to

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Speaker 1: be with someone.

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Speaker 9: I want to find my person.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, it's just.

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Speaker 1: Hard to know, like he's been there, done that, and

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Speaker 1: is he gonna want to do it again. We had

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Speaker 1: a good conversation about it, but like I just can't

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Speaker 1: help but think that if somebody's been through it once

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Speaker 1: and then divorced, they just may not want to do

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Speaker 1: that again.

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Speaker 9: Like they may be a little gunshy about it.

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Speaker 4: Or I think that's a fair concern, you know, being

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Speaker 4: a little gunshy about it, and especially depending on how

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Speaker 4: recently he got out of the relationships. It's kind of

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Speaker 4: interesting that this is new territory, especially right now. I

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Speaker 4: don't know if it's post pandemic that everybody in the

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Speaker 4: waters is freshly divorced. So you ask yourself, you know,

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Speaker 4: what does that mean for a person who's never been

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Speaker 4: married to be dating somebody in that space, And I

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Speaker 4: mean honesty and asking him what's going on. But I

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Speaker 4: think you're right, Zoe, And a little bit of a

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Speaker 4: hesitation because I don't think he knows what he wants.

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Speaker 4: In my experience, they generally don't know what they want,

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Speaker 4: so it's kind of harder for someone who does to

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Speaker 4: maneuver that type of relationship.

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Speaker 2: It'd be an interesting situation of being I'm married, but

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Speaker 2: if I wasn't, if we ended up getting a divorced

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Speaker 2: or whatever, and I got back to the dating world,

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Speaker 2: my head would think right now that I would probably

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Speaker 2: be like, I'm never going down that road again, right,

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Speaker 2: But maybe I would. So I would also be very confused.

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Speaker 2: I would be a confused little stallion like elliet is.

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Speaker 2: He was stabled up for a long time.

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Speaker 7: Zoe.

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Speaker 9: You know, I know.

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Speaker 2: Now he's out there running around the field and has

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Speaker 2: no idea what he's doing.

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Speaker 4: It's like, is it worth roping him when you know

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Speaker 4: he needs to be wild?

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Speaker 7: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Right?

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Speaker 4: Is it hurt?

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Speaker 9: Let me tell you mine? Yeah? And I don't.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to like waste a bunch of my

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Speaker 1: time and potentially get really attached to someone.

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Speaker 2: Well, thank you for telling us why you're ghosting him.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I wonder where he says that. Do you

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Speaker 2: do you ever want to find out where Elliot d

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Speaker 2: is at? With everything I do?

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Speaker 1: I actually really do and like I guess like I

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Speaker 1: kind of I feel like I want to apologize to him,

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Speaker 1: because ghosting someone is rude, and like I feel like

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Speaker 1: that's not me.

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Speaker 9: But I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I feel kind of bad about it because he really

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Speaker 1: is awesome, like he's a cool guy.

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Speaker 9: And yeah, yeah, I do want to know.

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Speaker 2: Okay, cool, that's tandy because he's actually on the phone

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Speaker 2: and has been listening this whole time and wants to

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Speaker 2: talk to you.

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Speaker 3: Hello, Hi, Elliott. How's it going.

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Speaker 9: Well?

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Speaker 6: Good?

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Speaker 9: I'm sorry, I feel bad.

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Speaker 3: Oh, don't feel bad. I get it if it's weird.

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Speaker 5: It's weird for me being divorced, and I never wanted

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Speaker 5: to be divorced, but that also means I, you know,

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Speaker 5: I am. I didn't get divorced because I don't like marriage.

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Speaker 5: I got divorced because and it worked between me and

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Speaker 5: the other person. So you know, I'm not looking to

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Speaker 5: graze many pastures.

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Speaker 3: That sounds that sounds pretty bad.

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Speaker 4: I love the analogy, Ellie. I feel like I need

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Speaker 4: to apologize to you too, because I was speculating on

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Speaker 4: how you may be feeling at this point. So I

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Speaker 4: don't want to put words into your mouth. I want

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Speaker 4: to let you explain yourself honestly.

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Speaker 9: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: No, So it's like, I don't want to be dating

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Speaker 3: very long.

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Speaker 5: It's the first date I find the person I want

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Speaker 5: to spend the rest of my life with. Then that's

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Speaker 5: then that's bullied for me and the other person. It's like,

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Speaker 5: uh so, no, I'm not looking to date. I'm looking

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Speaker 5: to find the right person. And I thought we clicked,

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Speaker 5: so that's why I kind of went down this route.

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Speaker 9: Oh that's awesome. I thought we clicked too. That's great,

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Speaker 9: a whole lot.

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Speaker 2: Of clicking going. I know, Zoe, would you like to

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Speaker 2: go on another date with Elliott? We'll pay for it?

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Speaker 9: Oh my gosh, even better.

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Speaker 10: Yes, yes, congratulations Elliott. All right, getting out of the

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Speaker 10: stable again. Elliott's a happy stallion. I love it.

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Speaker 2: Congratulations you guys so much fun.

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Speaker 9: Right, Oh, thank you guys.

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Speaker 7: Jubile's first Date follow up