Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central. Wow from New York City,
Speaker 1: the only city in America gets the show The Invention News.
Speaker 1: It's The Daily Show with your host, John Leguizamo. Yo, Yo, Yo,
Speaker 1: what's up? What's up? Welcome to The Daily Show. I'm
Speaker 1: John Leguizamo, and Yo, it's my last day here. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but it's been amazing, man, I've just been having so
Speaker 1: much fun goofin speaking out on topics I care about.
Speaker 1: There's no amount of money that could match this feeling.
Speaker 1: But if you're feeling generous, and I also take venmo.
Speaker 1: All Right, we've got a great show for you tonight.
Speaker 1: So let's get into the headlines. All right. You know,
Speaker 1: we've had such a heavy week of news, so I thought,
Speaker 1: you know, we'd wrap up things this week with some
Speaker 1: lighthearted news that's really going to put a smile on
Speaker 1: your face. We're interrupting this package right now because we
Speaker 1: have some breaking news and it is historic news out
Speaker 1: of lowerman hand. Right now, a federal jury, a grand jury,
Speaker 1: has voted to indict former President Trump, the first time
Speaker 1: ever that a former president has been criminally traveling. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's right. I've as my chair. Yeah yeah, that's right,
Speaker 1: that's right, that's right. Lady Justice grabbed Trump by the pussy.
Speaker 1: And you know, I take a firm stance against mass incarceration, Okay,
Speaker 1: but for this, I'm going to make an exception. I
Speaker 1: just hope they take it easy on him and put
Speaker 1: him at least in a cell with his lawyer. But hey,
Speaker 1: let this be a lesson to all your kids out there. Okay,
Speaker 1: if you commit fraud to cover up an affair with
Speaker 1: a point star, the law will catch up to you
Speaker 1: after like seven years and and a full term as president. Now,
Speaker 1: I know we're all hoping to see him put in handcuffs,
Speaker 1: but we don't know how it's all going to go down.
Speaker 1: The report is that they're going to try to negotiate
Speaker 1: his surrender, either that or the leave a trail of
Speaker 1: Big Max leading to the president. And you know, a
Speaker 1: lot of pundits like Lindsey Graham are saying this is
Speaker 1: going to be good for Trump, But mother, why don't
Speaker 1: you get arrested and see if it's good for you? Shit. Anyway,
Speaker 1: we don't know when this will actually arrest him or
Speaker 1: how it's going to pan out, but hey, maybe going
Speaker 1: to prison might be good for Trump, maybe what he
Speaker 1: needs because at least in prison, he'll be able to
Speaker 1: pursue his greatest passions, reading, working out, and converting to Islam.
Speaker 1: All right, there's still other stuff going on, So let's
Speaker 1: shift gears and talk about Fox News. I know, look,
Speaker 1: I know, but you know what, I think they've gotten
Speaker 1: a bad rap. No, seriously, everyone's saying that they're just propaganda.
Speaker 1: But I think that's all a misunderstanding. In fact, in fact,
Speaker 1: if you can prove to me that Fox News is
Speaker 1: intentionally lying to its viewers, I'll shave my beard. Another
Speaker 1: stunning new filing in the dominion lawsuit against Fox newly
Speaker 1: revealed email showing Fox News chief executive Suzanne Scott lashing
Speaker 1: out in an email after a correspondent fact checked Trump's Electionalize,
Speaker 1: she said this has to stop and goes on and
Speaker 1: say this is a bad business and there clearly is
Speaker 1: a lack of understanding what is happening in these shows.
Speaker 1: The audience is furious, and we are just feeding them
Speaker 1: material bad for business. Yep, yep, that'll teach me. I
Speaker 1: guess I lost. But yeah, Fox News got mad at
Speaker 1: their fact checker. I didn't even know they had a
Speaker 1: fact checker. You know, it's like hearing there's a head
Speaker 1: of diversity at the KKK. And secondly, what kind of
Speaker 1: news network gets mad when their journalists do the journalism.
Speaker 1: I mean, one of the reporters could win a Potzer
Speaker 1: prize in his boss would be like, do you know
Speaker 1: how Baptist looks for us? You better go out there
Speaker 1: on air and say Hillary Clinton is a vampire lesbian.
Speaker 1: You're gonna be fired. You know. I can't wait to
Speaker 1: see what other things Fox admits to in these emails.
Speaker 1: I mean, we're a few weeks away from finding out
Speaker 1: Sean Handy does a drag story hour at his local kindergarten. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And finally, let's move on to a big story about
Speaker 1: artificial intelligence. I know, I know everyone's scared of it,
Speaker 1: but you know what, I think AI has gotten a
Speaker 1: bad rap. No, No, seriously, In fact, if you can
Speaker 1: show me that any actual experts in technology are worried
Speaker 1: that AI is going to take over the world, I'll
Speaker 1: shave my pubes. This morning a warning from Elon Musk
Speaker 1: and other tech industry experts about the power of artificial intelligence.
Speaker 1: Musk and hundreds of influential names, including Apple co founder
Speaker 1: Steve Wolsniak are calling for a pause and experiments, saying
Speaker 1: AI poses a dramatic risk to society unless there's proper oversight.
Speaker 1: Tech industry leaders pose these existential questions. Should we develop
Speaker 1: non human minds that might eventually outnumber outsmart, obsolete and
Speaker 1: replace us? Should we risk loss of control of our civilization?
Speaker 1: Musk and others are asking developers to stop the training
Speaker 1: of AI systems more powerful than GPT four for at
Speaker 1: least six months so that safety protocols can be established.
Speaker 1: I gotta stop making these stupid promises before I got
Speaker 1: to news clips. But yes, that's right. AI is getting
Speaker 1: too powerful as soon as it knows how to pick
Speaker 1: which of these images as a bike? Now for more
Speaker 1: on AIS threat Team Manity, we go live to chat
Speaker 1: GPT headquarters where Desi led Dick is joining us. Wow, Wow, Desi, Desi,
Speaker 1: why does it look like you're dressed for a war?
Speaker 1: Because I am dressed for a war, and also there
Speaker 1: was a sale of Dick's sporting goods, but mostly the
Speaker 1: war thing. Look, it is us versus the machines and
Speaker 1: it's time to pick a side. DESI, why are you
Speaker 1: so eager? To go to war with AI. Come on, John,
Speaker 1: war with the machines is inevitable, so let's do it
Speaker 1: now while it's still a chat bot, instead of waiting
Speaker 1: until it's a bloodthirsty kill bot. If there's one thing
Speaker 1: that I learned from working at Chuck E Cheese, it's
Speaker 1: a lot easier to fight a child than it is
Speaker 1: an adult. I don't know, I don't know, Desi. War
Speaker 1: with AI sounds like a really bad idea. No way,
Speaker 1: war with AI would give humanity a common purpose. We
Speaker 1: are so divided right now, Russia versus Ukraine, Democrats versus Republicans,
Speaker 1: Selena Gomez fans versus Hailey bieber Fan. But now it's
Speaker 1: US versus the machines versus Hailey bieber Fan. Hey, Desi,
Speaker 1: but AI is getting more powerful by the day. What
Speaker 1: if we start this war then immediately lose it. I'm
Speaker 1: pretty sure you never lose a war that you start.
Speaker 1: But if we do, then we're going out together, John,
Speaker 1: You and me in a bunker with two cyanide pills.
Speaker 1: I take them both and you strangle yourself with your
Speaker 1: bare hands. Oh come on, couldn't I have one of
Speaker 1: those sinite pills? Oh? No? It was my idea. I
Speaker 1: get them both. Oh come on, DESI, you're getting ahead
Speaker 1: of yourself. For all we know, AI could lead human
Speaker 1: into like a new golden age of something. Oh sweet,
Speaker 1: John Sweet, naive pugelists, John Lewis, take it from me.
Speaker 1: Humans and robots can never coexist. It's like I said
Speaker 1: to my manager at Chuck E Cheese. I'd rather die
Speaker 1: on my feet than live one more day in this
Speaker 1: animatronic hellscape. So clean the piss out of the ball
Speaker 1: pit yourself, Doug, I quit, DESSI like like everybody along.
Speaker 1: When we come back, we'll talk about what's really happening
Speaker 1: at the border. So don't go away, all right, Welcome
Speaker 1: back to the Daily Show tonight. I want to talk
Speaker 1: about the scariest topic you'll ever hear about on the
Speaker 1: campaign trail, the Southern Border. Wait, sorry, that was the
Speaker 1: wrong sound effect. The Southern Border, Shane should I'm not
Speaker 1: so scary. It's all about how you frame it, because
Speaker 1: whenever Americans here about the border is always so negative.
Speaker 1: But the truth is, America's southern border has a rich history,
Speaker 1: steeped and cross cultural pollination, because for thousands of years,
Speaker 1: that area has been the Grand central station of the continent.
Speaker 1: In fact, for over a century, America had no barrier
Speaker 1: at all on its border, and when they finally put
Speaker 1: one up, it had nothing to do with people. In
Speaker 1: the early nineteen hundreds, ticks are causing disease among cows
Speaker 1: and rural areas. Those cows are crossing back and forth
Speaker 1: over the border, So the first ever border fence is
Speaker 1: actually built to keep cows from spreading disease. That's right,
Speaker 1: the first border fence was to keep out ticks. It's
Speaker 1: the one time it wasn't racist to say we got
Speaker 1: to stop these filled the animals from coming over here.
Speaker 1: And that's just one of the many things people get
Speaker 1: wrong when it comes to America's southern border. So I
Speaker 1: thought tonight you could separate border myths from border facts
Speaker 1: and another installment of Long Story Short Look, we can
Speaker 1: talk about numbers or figures or demographics, but the immigration
Speaker 1: debate is never about facts. It's about fear. Hordes of
Speaker 1: machetti wielding illegals are poring over the borders to take
Speaker 1: your job and put fittonel in your guacamole. That's why
Speaker 1: it's always cost extra yo. This type of rhetoric isn't
Speaker 1: meant to solve any problems. It's meant to dehumanize immigrants
Speaker 1: into zombie criminals, because then all you'll want to do
Speaker 1: is build the wall. The phrase made famous by the
Speaker 1: man who might have to hold his next inauguration in
Speaker 1: prison cafeteria. Most illegal immigration is coming from our southern border.
Speaker 1: We will build a great wall, and we will stop
Speaker 1: illegal immigration for good. We'll build the wall. Folks, don't
Speaker 1: even worry about it. Go to sleep, Go home, Go
Speaker 1: to sleep, rest to shooting, Go to sleep, Go to sleep.
Speaker 1: This is the worst bedtime story ever. Now one of
Speaker 1: these kids now to hear Trump tell it a wall
Speaker 1: would put a stop to illegal immigration. But that's a myth,
Speaker 1: because the truth is these days, a majority of undocumented
Speaker 1: immigrants come into the country legally, and they're all just
Speaker 1: overstay their visas. That means most illegal immigration doesn't start
Speaker 1: at the Rio Grande, starts at the airport, between the
Speaker 1: center button and the baggage clan. And by the way down, Trump,
Speaker 1: of all people, I thought you would understand wanting to
Speaker 1: stay longer than you're supposed to. Yep. And here's another myth,
Speaker 1: because for some demagogues, brown people come in America isn't
Speaker 1: scary enough on its own. So there's one specific type
Speaker 1: of immigrant that they want to scare you about. The
Speaker 1: drug smugglers, illegal immigrants from Mexico who are trafficking these
Speaker 1: pills that look like candy for children into the country.
Speaker 1: They're carrying drugs on their back and they're bringing fentnyl.
Speaker 1: Those people are bringing in fentnyl, which is killing thousands
Speaker 1: of Americans every month. It's not like fentanyl walks across
Speaker 1: the border by itself. It comes with illegal immigrants. Of course,
Speaker 1: fednyl doesn't walk across the border by itself. Do you
Speaker 1: know the street value of fentanyl? That bitch drives a caddy?
Speaker 1: But yeah, they want to scare you about the hordes
Speaker 1: of criminals coming across the border to profit off of
Speaker 1: our opioid crises, which is messed up because that's what
Speaker 1: we have pharmaceutical companies for it. But the truth is
Speaker 1: that only point zero two percent of people arrested by
Speaker 1: border patrol for crossing illegally had fentanyl on them. But
Speaker 1: guess who is being arrested for smuggling fentanyl American citizens.
Speaker 1: They're eighty six percent of convicted fendyl traffickers. So when
Speaker 1: you think about feednyl trafficker, think less about this and
Speaker 1: more about this. Bro. Dude, I got fednyl up my ass,
Speaker 1: I got in my ears, I got up my nose.
Speaker 1: I wish I had another rifice. I'd pack it up
Speaker 1: full of fentanyl. But you know how it goes, bro.
Speaker 1: And here's a bigger point I'm trying to make. The vast,
Speaker 1: vast majority of undocumented immigrants do not sell drugs. They
Speaker 1: do not shoot people, they do not commit terrorism, they
Speaker 1: do not commit any crimes. They're human beings searching for
Speaker 1: a better life, and they don't want and they don't
Speaker 1: want to get in trouble, especially since they don't want
Speaker 1: to get caught and be deported. I'm the same way
Speaker 1: when I'm in When I'm a guest in someone's house,
Speaker 1: I'm on my best behavior. I take off my shoes,
Speaker 1: I hauled in my farts, I bring a bottle of
Speaker 1: Savignon blanc. But then when I'm in my own house
Speaker 1: and I'm in the living room terrorizing the couch of
Speaker 1: my bare balls, that's a different story that we shot
Speaker 1: that before I shaped the beard job. Anyway, here's another
Speaker 1: myth these demagogues say that migrants are stealing American jobs.
Speaker 1: When you have a white open border and you've got
Speaker 1: millions of illegal aliens coming into our country, where do
Speaker 1: you think those people are gonna do. They're gonna go
Speaker 1: take jobs that could have otherwise been American jobs. Millions
Speaker 1: of American jobs are disappear. You're in at the hands
Speaker 1: of illegal immigrants Joe Biden's five million illegal aliens, or
Speaker 1: on the verge of replacing you, replacing your jobs. Yeah,
Speaker 1: these immigrants are taking all the jobs, food jobs, farm jobs,
Speaker 1: steve jobs, all of them. These demogogues want you to
Speaker 1: believe that if you lost your job, it's not because
Speaker 1: of corporate outsourcing or automation, or the destruction of unions
Speaker 1: or cost cutting to maximize profits for shareholders. No, it's
Speaker 1: Jose's fault. Shame on New Jose. But the truth is,
Speaker 1: undocumented immigrants are mostly filling jobs that Americans have no
Speaker 1: interest in doing. I mean, aw, you gonna tell me
Speaker 1: there are Americans just lining up wishing they could pick
Speaker 1: vegetables in the sun all the livelong day. America is
Speaker 1: a trip. Man. First, you didn't want to do any
Speaker 1: of the field work and now you want to do
Speaker 1: all the field words make up your goddamn mine. All right, So,
Speaker 1: long story short, we can debate about the border, but
Speaker 1: what we can do is dehumanize these people. That's not
Speaker 1: going to lead to the right policies. That's only going
Speaker 1: to lead to tragedy. So the next time you hear
Speaker 1: people scare mongering about the water, remember they're not preaching facts.
Speaker 1: They're promoting fear. And that's the only wall they've built,
Speaker 1: the one between themselves and reality. All right, when we
Speaker 1: come back, I'm going to be joined by Congressman Richie Taurres.
Speaker 1: You don't want to miss it. Hey, welcome back to
Speaker 1: the Daily Show. My guest tonight represents parts of the
Speaker 1: Bronx in the United States Congress. Please welcome Democratic Representative
Speaker 1: Richie tarez Number. Wow. You know, we just had breaking news.
Speaker 1: Donald Trump has been voted to be indicted by a
Speaker 1: grand jury. First president to be indicted, former first president
Speaker 1: being what are your thoughts? Well, Donald Trump announced on
Speaker 1: True Social that he's been indicated rather than indicted. But
Speaker 1: no spell check. But the president he we should have
Speaker 1: chat chypt help him put together tweets. But I don't um,
Speaker 1: you know, Donald Trump. Why not? You know, Donald Trump
Speaker 1: has been a pathological liar and lawbreaker his whole life,
Speaker 1: and yet and has gone away with it. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: Like he's a master of getting away with it, and
Speaker 1: finally he's facing the accountability he deserves. But I know,
Speaker 1: I want to see that park walk. I'm dying for that.
Speaker 1: That's the only thing I want to say. But I
Speaker 1: will confess of all the crimes that he's committed in
Speaker 1: his life. I never thought, in my wildest dreams that
Speaker 1: he would be taken down by hush payments to a
Speaker 1: porn star. I mean, that's right, right, true, that to that.
Speaker 1: So he's like he's like the al caponent of American politics.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, really well put well, put now. Now,
Speaker 1: you're the first openly gay, Afro Latino congress noting me publicly.
Speaker 1: Come on, oh no, no, no, I would never do that.
Speaker 1: I would never do that. And you're part of the
Speaker 1: Hispanic Caucus, the Black Caucus, the equity caucus. Don't you
Speaker 1: think all these assist should caucus together and greater enormous caucus.
Speaker 1: How power would that caucus be? Look for us, diversity
Speaker 1: is not a source of division, It's a source of unity.
Speaker 1: I mean, the House Democratic Caucus is the most diverse
Speaker 1: legiside of caucus in American history. Seventy percent of the
Speaker 1: caucus consists of members of the LGBTQ community, woman, people
Speaker 1: of color. Like, the House Democratic Caucus has more diversity
Speaker 1: and intersectionality than George Santos. So making of George Santos
Speaker 1: And by the way, George Santos and I were the
Speaker 1: only gay Latinos in the New York congressional delegation, So
Speaker 1: we're very close. Does he pretend to did he somebody else?
Speaker 1: When you try to talk to him? You know, I
Speaker 1: avoid him. You're the one that avoys. That's what I thought.
Speaker 1: I have trouble keeping track of his lies. But you know,
Speaker 1: he's pretended to be a gay by racial Ukrainian, Belgian, Brazilian. Yes,
Speaker 1: a volleyball champion, Wall Street banker, whose mother died twice,
Speaker 1: including on nine to eleven, whose ancestors survived the Holocaust,
Speaker 1: whose employees died in the Pulsemash shooting. I mean, his
Speaker 1: life story is the greatest fiction in the history of
Speaker 1: congressional Oh my god, it's so true though. That's why
Speaker 1: that's why I introduced stopping another non truthful office Seeker Act,
Speaker 1: the Santos Act. Yes, how long did it take you
Speaker 1: to come up with that acronym? Was born with that
Speaker 1: acronym in mind? Oh? Shit? But what can I say
Speaker 1: to that? I feel like my life is like a drama.
Speaker 1: I mean January sixth was my third day on the job. Wow,
Speaker 1: that's your third day, thirday in the job. And so
Speaker 1: if someone had said to a younger version of myself, Richie,
Speaker 1: you're going to become a member of Congress during a
Speaker 1: global pandemic and witness an insurrection against the US capital
Speaker 1: and then votes to impeach the host of the celebrity
Speaker 1: Apprentice and all of that would happen within the first
Speaker 1: two weeks, I would have said that sounds like a
Speaker 1: movie written by George Santos. Ch char brother. Now you know,
Speaker 1: we had this terrible shooting this week. I wanted to
Speaker 1: ask you about gun reform. I mean, Republicans they don't
Speaker 1: want to support background checks, they mental fund programs. I mean,
Speaker 1: what do we do about this? How do how do
Speaker 1: we deal with them? Look, whenever there's a mass shooting,
Speaker 1: Republicans are quick to bring up mental illness. Every society
Speaker 1: on Earth has mental illness. We are the only wealthy
Speaker 1: country that has an epidemic of gun violence and mass shootings.
Speaker 1: That is not like, let's be clear, it's it's not
Speaker 1: an inevitability. It's a public policy choice. Like we as
Speaker 1: a society have chosen to put our own children at
Speaker 1: risk of gun violence. And they are Republicans who claim
Speaker 1: we're powerless because there's evil in the world. And my
Speaker 1: view is, if you're too powerless to protect children from
Speaker 1: mass murder, then you have no business being in Congress. Yes, like,
Speaker 1: what are you as? That's why I voted for you.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Thank you well. If you voted for me
Speaker 1: without being in my district, that's voter fraud. So I
Speaker 1: want that's why I campaign for you. I appreciate it.
Speaker 1: I didn't vote twice. I appreciate that. I tried but
Speaker 1: I couldn't. Your endorsement is an illegal contribution, and we
Speaker 1: just had a former president and I didn't contribute to it.
Speaker 1: I stomped for you. Yeah, that's why you're my new
Speaker 1: MBASC show, the documentaries. I'm doing it like IMA does America.
Speaker 1: You're in my third episode. Thank you, Richie. That was
Speaker 1: a blast, man, thank you for going. Okay, we're gonna
Speaker 1: take a click break, but we'll be right back after day.
Speaker 1: That's ourself for tonight. That was my time as zero host.
Speaker 1: But stay tuned because next week your host is gonna
Speaker 1: be Roy Wood Junior. And if you want to see
Speaker 1: more made, please tune into my new six part series,
Speaker 1: Leguizamo Does America. Explore more shows from the Daily Show
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