1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,480 Speaker 1: Am I they a whole for canceling my wedding after 2 00:00:02,520 --> 00:00:05,480 Speaker 1: finding out how my fiance feels about my daughter. 3 00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:10,360 Speaker 2: Oh maybe that's bad. This comes from dumb pony who 4 00:00:10,440 --> 00:00:13,080 Speaker 2: says before you read my post, I am not from America. 5 00:00:13,360 --> 00:00:16,200 Speaker 2: To be clear, I am sorry if this writing is terrible, 6 00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:18,320 Speaker 2: but I'll do my best. For a background context, I 7 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:20,239 Speaker 2: was married when I was twenty two and my husband 8 00:00:20,239 --> 00:00:20,840 Speaker 2: was twenty five. 9 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:23,239 Speaker 1: We had a daughter who was two when we were married. 10 00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:26,239 Speaker 1: I consider her my daughter in every way, and my 11 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:29,200 Speaker 1: husband passed away sadly when she was four years old. 12 00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:32,760 Speaker 1: So I now thirty four female, have been with my 13 00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:34,400 Speaker 1: fiance Jesse, thirty five. 14 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:38,280 Speaker 2: Male for eight years. My daughter Bailey, she considers Jesse 15 00:00:38,479 --> 00:00:41,560 Speaker 2: her father. Jesse mean what he's known her for the 16 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:44,240 Speaker 2: past eight years. Yeah, that's yeah. And from that young 17 00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:45,160 Speaker 2: ye one hundred percent. 18 00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:48,680 Speaker 1: Jesse has never treated Bailey wrong at all, but knows, 19 00:00:51,159 --> 00:00:53,880 Speaker 1: but knows, of my husband who had passed away. Jesse 20 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:56,720 Speaker 1: always treated her sweetly and like a daughter. And I'm 21 00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:59,480 Speaker 1: currently six months pregnant. We are all excited. 22 00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:03,120 Speaker 2: Jesse told me how he wants to adopt Bailey after 23 00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:07,080 Speaker 2: getting married. That is amazing. This is adorable, so powerful. 24 00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:10,200 Speaker 2: I see nothing going wrong. I am nothing will go wrong, 25 00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:12,920 Speaker 2: terrified of the hammer that could be about to drop. 26 00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:16,600 Speaker 2: Do surprise her. We are getting married in August. I 27 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:19,399 Speaker 2: wouldn't say we are close to being done with everything. 28 00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:21,360 Speaker 2: But we did play in a big dinner. I didn't 29 00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:23,880 Speaker 2: invite my friends and Jesse's friends. Bailey was staying the 30 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:26,839 Speaker 2: night over at a close friend's house, so Bailey wasn't there. 31 00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:29,160 Speaker 2: We were all catching up and having a great night. 32 00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:34,039 Speaker 2: What was that what I thought you like? Played a guitar? 33 00:01:34,319 --> 00:01:37,760 Speaker 1: I think it was the spring on the bear band. 34 00:01:37,959 --> 00:01:39,200 Speaker 1: You gotta play in the badge of with the hair 35 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:41,800 Speaker 1: tier there. We were all catching up and having a 36 00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:46,440 Speaker 1: great night, just all around happiness from everyone until until 37 00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:48,360 Speaker 1: the topic of the wedding came up. 38 00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:52,720 Speaker 2: That is where things went downhill. It was all good. 39 00:01:52,760 --> 00:01:55,760 Speaker 2: We got to talking about our honeymoon. Were we were 40 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:58,160 Speaker 2: going to bring Bailey because that was our plan. When 41 00:01:58,280 --> 00:02:01,840 Speaker 2: Jesse did say that he didn't want to bring Bailey, 42 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:05,040 Speaker 2: which kind of shocked me. Wait, Bailey as in the 43 00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:10,000 Speaker 2: child of op that's fourteen, Yes, yeah, Op, he doesn't 44 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:10,640 Speaker 2: want that. 45 00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:15,800 Speaker 1: Opeciance was going to adopt YEP is still and he 46 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:17,760 Speaker 1: said he doesn't want her at the wedding. 47 00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:20,880 Speaker 2: At the honeymoon, at the honeymoon. But it's weird because 48 00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:22,840 Speaker 2: they had both they had both agreed to it prior. 49 00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:27,000 Speaker 2: Oh yes and hope, he says, because we both agreed 50 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:28,720 Speaker 2: to it. So I was taken him back from it. 51 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:30,560 Speaker 2: She's like, why are you going back on your word? 52 00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:34,120 Speaker 2: He started going on about how he how we both 53 00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:37,760 Speaker 2: now need a real child. 54 00:02:38,919 --> 00:02:49,600 Speaker 3: Oh, Jesse, so good, Jesse, Jesse, girl, dude, Jesse was 55 00:02:49,639 --> 00:02:54,160 Speaker 3: doing so good flying Colors, and that just flew straight 56 00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:55,560 Speaker 3: into the depths of. 57 00:02:55,720 --> 00:03:00,840 Speaker 2: Trash a plu f minus. I know, child, What the 58 00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:05,720 Speaker 2: fuck do you think she is? Any child? Yeah? 59 00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:09,200 Speaker 1: God, we don't have to pretend anymore to take care 60 00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:14,600 Speaker 1: of my stepdaughter who was never my real child. Oh okay, 61 00:03:14,639 --> 00:03:20,440 Speaker 1: So to be clear, Opie's dead husband, yes, had a kid, 62 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:25,120 Speaker 1: and then that kid when they were like when was 63 00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:29,040 Speaker 1: when they got married when she was two, But it's 64 00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:35,080 Speaker 1: not oh PE's biological child. So basically Opee's dead husband's 65 00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:37,640 Speaker 1: kid came into her life when the kid was two, 66 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:40,440 Speaker 1: and then the dead husband died at four. 67 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:46,240 Speaker 2: I am confirming this, my daughter, I mean, okay, so 68 00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:51,000 Speaker 2: this is not biologically Opie's daughter, but like for all 69 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:53,720 Speaker 2: and intends of like, but emotionally emotionally thank you. 70 00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:54,320 Speaker 3: Wow? 71 00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:57,120 Speaker 2: Why did I forget that word emotionally Opie's daughter, which 72 00:03:57,240 --> 00:03:59,480 Speaker 2: is absolutely correct, but just not the that's not the 73 00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:02,680 Speaker 2: biology easy thing to say, a crazy this is not 74 00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:04,480 Speaker 2: your what what do you do with this kid? Then 75 00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:08,280 Speaker 2: literally he said, stop pretending to take care of him? 76 00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:10,280 Speaker 2: What do you mean pretending to take care of what 77 00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:13,280 Speaker 2: are you talking about? Yeah? At this point all of 78 00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:15,720 Speaker 2: our friends and I were very flabbergasted. 79 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:18,560 Speaker 1: Wait, this is in front of other people, Yes, this 80 00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:19,880 Speaker 1: is like a dinner party. 81 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:22,360 Speaker 2: Idiot, Jassy, You're an idiot. 82 00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:25,760 Speaker 1: And they looked at him like he had something crazy 83 00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:27,800 Speaker 1: on top of his head. And he kept going on 84 00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:30,800 Speaker 1: and on until I kind of freaked out in front 85 00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:33,960 Speaker 1: of everyone and told him that Bailey would always come 86 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:36,359 Speaker 1: first and he is last to me. 87 00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:41,320 Speaker 2: Now that he had to leave and I canceling the wedding. 88 00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:46,800 Speaker 1: That isn't honestly appropriate response, I agree. What terrifies me, 89 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:51,320 Speaker 1: yes about this kind of situation is you could date 90 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:58,039 Speaker 1: someone for eight years, dude, eight years and them harbor 91 00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:03,839 Speaker 1: these kinds of thoughts. Is that not terrifying. It's crazy, 92 00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:07,360 Speaker 1: is that not? That's terrifying? It truly is true, because 93 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:09,599 Speaker 1: it's like, when were you going to tell me that 94 00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:12,880 Speaker 1: you didn't think that my child, like you don't think 95 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:14,120 Speaker 1: of her as yours. 96 00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:18,280 Speaker 2: You told me you're going to adopt her. I like what, 97 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:22,680 Speaker 2: I was not in shape to hear him. Oh he 98 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:24,679 Speaker 2: tried talking to me, but I was not in shape 99 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:25,160 Speaker 2: to hear him. 100 00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:29,920 Speaker 1: Fair enough, totally fair honestly, that guy, like, I think 101 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:31,680 Speaker 1: the exact right response. 102 00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:35,719 Speaker 2: Yes, yes it is. It is deserved. It's deserved, his friend. 103 00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:39,160 Speaker 1: We've read stories where things responses were not deserved. 104 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:42,240 Speaker 2: Deserved, Yes, this one is deserved. His friends did escort 105 00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:45,000 Speaker 2: him out for me and left with him a few 106 00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:47,440 Speaker 2: of my girlfriends stayed over just with me that night. 107 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:50,599 Speaker 2: Was he drunk, curly? Was he on crack? Oh? No, 108 00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:54,119 Speaker 2: Jesse had been blowing up my phone so much wanting 109 00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:57,640 Speaker 2: to work things out. Honestly, I don't even want to. 110 00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:00,160 Speaker 1: I haven't told Bailey what happened, and just lie to 111 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:02,840 Speaker 1: my family and his family about why we had canceled 112 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:05,120 Speaker 1: the wedding. I just want some quiet now and not 113 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:07,640 Speaker 1: for everyone to be upset. But some of his friends 114 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:10,360 Speaker 1: did message me saying he has the right to talk 115 00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:12,640 Speaker 1: about his feelings and opinions, which has got. 116 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:15,920 Speaker 2: Me puzzled at this point. So am I the A hole? 117 00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:17,360 Speaker 2: Let's talk about it? 118 00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:22,760 Speaker 1: Okay, okay, okay, I have so many thoughts. Yes, first 119 00:06:22,839 --> 00:06:25,480 Speaker 1: of all, no, Opie is not the a hole for 120 00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:31,479 Speaker 1: standing up for her daughter. Yes, literally, her soon to 121 00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:36,880 Speaker 1: be husband now soon to be ex husband probably dehumanized 122 00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:39,560 Speaker 1: her daughter saying that's not your real child. 123 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:42,240 Speaker 2: And we will stop pretending to take care of her. 124 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:45,279 Speaker 2: Yeah that's what And what does that even mean? Like 125 00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:48,120 Speaker 2: if let's just say she. 126 00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:51,680 Speaker 1: Went along with it, god forbid? Yeah, what does that 127 00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:55,120 Speaker 1: mean for the kid? Like does the kid just be like? 128 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:56,560 Speaker 1: Is that the kid put up for adoption? 129 00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:00,880 Speaker 2: Literally? What else could would possibly mean? 130 00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:03,760 Speaker 1: What a crazy thing to say. Op is not the 131 00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:06,760 Speaker 1: a hole. This is not him sharing feelings. This is 132 00:07:06,839 --> 00:07:10,040 Speaker 1: him dehumanizing Op's child. Completely different ballgame. 133 00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:14,440 Speaker 2: Yes, I would absolutely agree. I'm like, I'm a little pissed, 134 00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:17,600 Speaker 2: I'm a little I also have a conspiracy theory. 135 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:22,880 Speaker 4: Ooh, well this is a conspiracy theory without hats woo, 136 00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:28,640 Speaker 4: conspiracy theory with that, I think so because the friends 137 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:32,720 Speaker 4: uh were like texted op and we're like, oh, you 138 00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:35,040 Speaker 4: should like he has right to share his feelings. I 139 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:38,760 Speaker 4: think I'm wondering if maybe the friends kind of egged 140 00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:42,800 Speaker 4: him on before, you know, because like, why would he 141 00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:45,320 Speaker 4: feel so comfortable sharing these feelings? 142 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,440 Speaker 2: That's a feeling you share with no one. 143 00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:50,760 Speaker 4: Yeah, so I'm thinking maybe, I mean, maybe there's a 144 00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:53,960 Speaker 4: world this awful and like he's insane, why would he 145 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:56,320 Speaker 4: bring this up? Maybe there's also a world where he's 146 00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:59,120 Speaker 4: also this awful, but his friends egged him on. 147 00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:01,600 Speaker 2: Yeah you real kid, dude. 148 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:04,960 Speaker 1: Oh oh, not the friends at this dinner, but like 149 00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:07,840 Speaker 1: his friends in general. They were the phrase an. 150 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:10,360 Speaker 2: His friends at the dinner turned around him and was like, 151 00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:12,880 Speaker 2: what are you talking about and escorted him out. 152 00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:15,280 Speaker 4: No, those were that was her friend. 153 00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:17,760 Speaker 2: I feel like that could have been like, all right, homie, 154 00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:20,800 Speaker 2: let's leave man. Yeah, let's let's get you out of 155 00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:21,440 Speaker 2: the stagers. 156 00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:24,520 Speaker 1: Let's kick back and get some few beers and play 157 00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:28,480 Speaker 1: Legend of zelbra Bro. Yeah, but let's get back by 158 00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:29,560 Speaker 1: the reality. 159 00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:33,680 Speaker 2: Onto the update. I talked to Bailey much earlier than 160 00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:35,719 Speaker 2: I thought it would, and I told her everything. She 161 00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:40,800 Speaker 2: was shocked and cried. Is this something you tell your 162 00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:46,079 Speaker 2: kid I think not. I think not. 163 00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:50,240 Speaker 1: I think that's maybe maybe when she's older, Maybe when 164 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:52,000 Speaker 1: she's older. But I don't think this is something you 165 00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:55,000 Speaker 1: tell your kid, your your fourteen year old child that 166 00:08:55,840 --> 00:08:59,000 Speaker 1: the person she called dad doesn't see her as her 167 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:02,280 Speaker 1: real child. That's just fucking when her own father damage 168 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:05,880 Speaker 1: assed away. Yeah you don't say that to a fourteen 169 00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:07,719 Speaker 1: year old. I don't think no. 170 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:11,000 Speaker 4: I think you just say like, I don't know, he 171 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:12,720 Speaker 4: was a I don't know, you could even go as 172 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:14,319 Speaker 4: far as say like he was a batman or like 173 00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:15,319 Speaker 4: he wasn't right for us. 174 00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:15,840 Speaker 3: Blah blah blah. 175 00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:19,839 Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't say he specifically did not see you 176 00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:20,480 Speaker 4: as his child. 177 00:09:20,679 --> 00:09:23,599 Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, Yeah, I think I think that is a 178 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:27,480 Speaker 1: bad thing that OPI did. Maybe not intentionally malicious, but 179 00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:31,240 Speaker 1: definitely a little bit out of touch. We've heard the 180 00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:33,400 Speaker 1: advice from and I'd be very curious to hear what 181 00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:34,920 Speaker 1: you all have to stay in the comments, especially if 182 00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:36,080 Speaker 1: you've been through something similar. 183 00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:38,079 Speaker 2: Let us know in the comments below. But we've heard 184 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:42,320 Speaker 2: from comments in the past. Faith always Saith share things 185 00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:44,400 Speaker 2: in an age appropriate way. So the fourteen year old, 186 00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:47,760 Speaker 2: she's not quite fully, this isn't someone in her twenties. 187 00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:50,559 Speaker 2: This also isn't someone who's like five years old. So 188 00:09:50,679 --> 00:09:53,480 Speaker 2: maybe you say exactly what Sophia said, which is, hey, 189 00:09:53,640 --> 00:09:55,520 Speaker 2: this guy was a bad guy. He did not have 190 00:09:55,640 --> 00:09:58,679 Speaker 2: our best interest at heart, and I don't think he 191 00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:02,000 Speaker 2: would have been a a good father to you, good 192 00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:04,840 Speaker 2: husband to me. Trust me, this is for the best. 193 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:07,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, that to me is like you are that is 194 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:10,880 Speaker 1: the truth, and you are kind of sharing some context, 195 00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:14,240 Speaker 1: but you're not like breaking their soul. Yeah, because it's 196 00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:18,880 Speaker 1: like I feel like that explanation before is he's a 197 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:22,840 Speaker 1: bad person. With this explanation, it's almost like you are 198 00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:26,160 Speaker 1: not enough for him, like you are not enough of 199 00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:28,600 Speaker 1: a child for us, which is what she could easily 200 00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:30,240 Speaker 1: interpret him exactly exactly. 201 00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:34,200 Speaker 2: Well. Opie says, it broke my heart to see her 202 00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:37,360 Speaker 2: that way. We just hugged each other. She said, if 203 00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:42,199 Speaker 2: only she had been a better daughter. D literally, that's 204 00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:44,680 Speaker 2: what we want to avoid. This is this is yeah, 205 00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:47,880 Speaker 2: that he would have not felt that way. I reassured 206 00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:49,480 Speaker 2: her that wasn't the case at all. 207 00:10:49,679 --> 00:10:53,319 Speaker 1: Yeah, but you by explaining this information in the way 208 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:54,440 Speaker 1: you've done, you've you've. 209 00:10:54,679 --> 00:10:59,360 Speaker 2: You've set her up to fail. Yeah, I said that 210 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:03,040 Speaker 2: Jesse was just an awful man and a coward. Bailey 211 00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:06,840 Speaker 2: said she forgave him but would never forget what he said. 212 00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:10,839 Speaker 2: She still misses him and she still calls him dad, 213 00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:14,480 Speaker 2: even after everything she put her through. She is such 214 00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:15,280 Speaker 2: a brave girl. 215 00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:18,880 Speaker 1: I am making sure that Jesse doesn't ever get in 216 00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:22,000 Speaker 1: contact with Bailey. He did, however, ask if we could 217 00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:25,720 Speaker 1: talk in person to at least men things. I did agree, 218 00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:27,800 Speaker 1: and we met and met with him next day after 219 00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:30,120 Speaker 1: the whole incident. We met in a public spot with 220 00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:32,560 Speaker 1: others around in case he tried to do something funny. 221 00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:35,920 Speaker 1: Jesse told me how sorry he was and that he 222 00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:40,040 Speaker 1: loves Bailey and our baby the same. Right there's the 223 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:44,080 Speaker 1: freaking baby on the way too, six months pregnant. 224 00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:48,079 Speaker 2: Oh man, this is so complicated. He still wants to 225 00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:51,679 Speaker 2: marry me, that he wants to come home. All I 226 00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:56,920 Speaker 2: said was hardhshit. Nope, I knew he was lying. 227 00:11:57,440 --> 00:11:59,960 Speaker 1: I told Jesse that I would never look at him 228 00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:02,800 Speaker 1: the same, that I will only get in contact with 229 00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:05,360 Speaker 1: him after I give birth to our daughter. 230 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:09,640 Speaker 2: Jesse did beg me over and over. I stood my 231 00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:12,640 Speaker 2: ground and said no to each of his pleading demands. 232 00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:17,240 Speaker 2: Then he dropped a big thing on me which I 233 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:21,760 Speaker 2: never knew. He said that he cheated, and what that 234 00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:26,720 Speaker 2: woman is better in every way? Jesse just gets worse 235 00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:27,560 Speaker 2: and worse and worse. 236 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:30,839 Speaker 1: How we've I don't know if we've had someone rise 237 00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:34,440 Speaker 1: to such heights and fall to such the lows so quickly. 238 00:12:34,559 --> 00:12:36,680 Speaker 1: The thing that's crazy And I want to stress this again. 239 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:41,480 Speaker 1: They were together for eight years, eight years. 240 00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:45,800 Speaker 2: Cheating, not believing like if he says that now, he's 241 00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:51,440 Speaker 2: always believed that about yeah, Bailey, and how can how 242 00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:53,679 Speaker 2: can you? How can you fool someone that well? Like 243 00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:56,360 Speaker 2: I feel like even rose tinted glasses, like you got 244 00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:59,079 Speaker 2: to be like a master manipulator to be able to 245 00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:01,199 Speaker 2: pull this off. I feel like to add sugar on 246 00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:03,120 Speaker 2: top of the crap he dropped on me. 247 00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:08,319 Speaker 1: He is cheating with his best friend, Carter's wife who 248 00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:12,959 Speaker 1: has three kids. Why did he tell her that that 249 00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:13,600 Speaker 1: is true? 250 00:13:13,679 --> 00:13:17,679 Speaker 2: Like? Bro, he always drops the worst information at the 251 00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:23,360 Speaker 2: worst times, like help yourself, like I don't even know. Yes, 252 00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:26,480 Speaker 2: this is one of the friends that defended him. He 253 00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:31,160 Speaker 2: was sleeping with his wife. She was also at the 254 00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:35,160 Speaker 2: dinner party. Was always nice to me when she was 255 00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:38,480 Speaker 2: sleeping with my fiance. Not only did Jesse in that 256 00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:42,720 Speaker 2: by a woman destroy a family, they destroyed two with kids. 257 00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:47,040 Speaker 2: What a lovely man smiley face sarcasm. Of course I 258 00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:50,120 Speaker 2: did leave after he told me that blocked him everywhere, 259 00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:52,839 Speaker 2: and I messaged Carter and told him that Jesse was 260 00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:55,880 Speaker 2: sleeping with his wife. He did tell me that he 261 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:59,000 Speaker 2: was suspicious of his wife's sneaking ground. It wasn't her 262 00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:02,920 Speaker 2: first time. I feel really awful for him. Now, why 263 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:07,640 Speaker 2: would op I don't know why Jesse would would tell 264 00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:10,960 Speaker 2: her that though the only thing I could possibly think 265 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:13,920 Speaker 2: of hurt her was just a hurder like once he 266 00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:15,959 Speaker 2: once he like pleaded, pleate, depleted big, big big. 267 00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:18,199 Speaker 1: She said no, no, no, He's like, all right, fine, 268 00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:20,240 Speaker 1: I'm gonna twist the knife one final time. 269 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:25,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, god God. He did apologize for not being on 270 00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:28,840 Speaker 2: my side and that we were always great friends. I 271 00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:31,400 Speaker 2: did forgive him and didn't blame him for defending his 272 00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:34,480 Speaker 2: best friend because both Carter and Jesse were best friends. 273 00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:40,160 Speaker 2: That's elementary bro. He he stole his best friends since 274 00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:42,000 Speaker 2: elementary school's girl. 275 00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:45,960 Speaker 1: And he was defending him when he was like, yo, 276 00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:49,000 Speaker 1: we don't have to pretend to take care of that 277 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:50,680 Speaker 1: we need to focus on our real daughter. 278 00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:54,400 Speaker 2: Which is a crazy thing to defend, insane thing to defend. 279 00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:56,000 Speaker 2: I don't care if Christian. 280 00:14:56,640 --> 00:15:00,760 Speaker 1: If Christian was like, uh, hey man, you know he's 281 00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:02,560 Speaker 1: he's been seeing a woman she had she had a kid, 282 00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:03,760 Speaker 1: and he's like, dude, we're getting married. 283 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:06,440 Speaker 2: More if I'm finally gonna dump kick this kid to 284 00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:07,760 Speaker 2: the curb, They're just like I. 285 00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:09,640 Speaker 1: Would be like, what are you talking about? Bro right, 286 00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:14,240 Speaker 1: what are you talking about? I told him I'd be 287 00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:14,840 Speaker 1: there for him. 288 00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:17,640 Speaker 2: Mm hmm. I see you in the comments. I don't know. 289 00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:24,040 Speaker 2: Maybe for support. I see you, you see it, I 290 00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:28,680 Speaker 2: see you. I love the dominoes falling of each of 291 00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:34,880 Speaker 2: you guys like, that's great for support. And he appreciated 292 00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:37,280 Speaker 2: my offer. He told me he would be there for 293 00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:41,280 Speaker 2: me as well. I there for each other. Oh god, 294 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:45,920 Speaker 2: Carter told their friend group and blocked Jesse he is 295 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,960 Speaker 2: going to divorce his wife, so we have each other 296 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:52,040 Speaker 2: to lean on for support. I also did ask Bailey 297 00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:54,520 Speaker 2: if she wanted a therapist. She said yes, and I'm 298 00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:55,920 Speaker 2: looking for one. That is good. 299 00:15:56,480 --> 00:15:58,760 Speaker 1: She has been staying in her room more, only coming 300 00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:02,280 Speaker 1: out for food or to use the restroom. This is 301 00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:06,520 Speaker 1: probably hitting sad so hard. It breaks my heart because 302 00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:09,520 Speaker 1: she is always so bright and jolly. Now she is 303 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:12,640 Speaker 1: just depressed and feeling low. Her friends have been coming 304 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:15,480 Speaker 1: over and staying with her. My family plans on coming. 305 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:16,160 Speaker 1: Don't worry. 306 00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:19,800 Speaker 2: I did tell Jesse's family everything, and my family both 307 00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:23,360 Speaker 2: families are awfully mad at Jesse. At least we don't 308 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:26,000 Speaker 2: have any like insane family members that are defending Jesse, 309 00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:31,360 Speaker 2: which for some reason is often the case. I do 310 00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:35,000 Speaker 2: plan on staying contact with Jesse's family. I have always 311 00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:37,920 Speaker 2: been so close to them. They helped raise Bailey, and 312 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:41,200 Speaker 2: they see us as family. I also can't forget I 313 00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:44,840 Speaker 2: am carrying Jesse's daughter. That makes it so much more complicated, 314 00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:48,400 Speaker 2: so much more complicated, because is he gonna like do 315 00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:52,320 Speaker 2: for paternity rights? I mean, he does have rights to 316 00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:56,520 Speaker 2: the child, right, I guess unless you go to court 317 00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:59,400 Speaker 2: and you make a case for like he is not 318 00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:03,480 Speaker 2: fit to be yeah, exactly, which we have witnesses of 319 00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:05,879 Speaker 2: him saying some crazy stuff. Yeah. But I don't know 320 00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:07,879 Speaker 2: if that's enough. Yeah, is it an? I don't I 321 00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:11,240 Speaker 2: don't know. I would probably say it's probably not enough. 322 00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:15,520 Speaker 2: Jesse's parents want to see Bailey. As she is their granddaughter. 323 00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:20,080 Speaker 2: Now that bro he's like even his parents. His parents 324 00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:23,359 Speaker 2: recognize it. I even plan on changing the locks, as 325 00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:25,800 Speaker 2: I don't feel safe with just Bailey and I even 326 00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:27,800 Speaker 2: if we do have big dogs and lots of ghats. 327 00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:32,760 Speaker 2: That's random, but goats are awesome goats. We have lots 328 00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:36,760 Speaker 2: of ghosts. Honestly, that's kind of fire security. If you've 329 00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:37,720 Speaker 2: got ghosts. 330 00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:42,480 Speaker 1: Protecting you, spooky robbers come, come, You're about to get possessed. 331 00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:46,760 Speaker 1: Exactly my possessions get possessed. You're gonna get possessed. Go 332 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:49,480 Speaker 1: to the robber's house, rob his stuff and give it 333 00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:49,720 Speaker 1: to me. 334 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:54,040 Speaker 2: Boom. I even plan on Jamie Lacks. My best friend 335 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,080 Speaker 2: Rosie is staying with me, so we have a lot 336 00:17:56,119 --> 00:17:59,520 Speaker 2: of support on our side. Thank you to everyone who commented. 337 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:03,280 Speaker 2: I am grateful. You are all great humans. Heart emoji. 338 00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:06,120 Speaker 2: That is my update and will probably be my last one. 339 00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:10,439 Speaker 2: Thank you again. However, However, we do have some medits, 340 00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:13,240 Speaker 2: some real quick edits. After that, everyone is asking me 341 00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:16,320 Speaker 2: to terminate the pregnancy or I shouldn't go through with 342 00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:20,000 Speaker 2: having any child. I will not terminate the pregnancy and 343 00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:22,280 Speaker 2: I am going to keep my child. I am far 344 00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:24,920 Speaker 2: along and I am blessed with my daughter I can 345 00:18:25,119 --> 00:18:27,480 Speaker 2: co parent with Jesse at a number two. Do the 346 00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:30,320 Speaker 2: people saying this is fake? I am not sure how 347 00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:32,520 Speaker 2: to prove it to you all, which honestly, I just 348 00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:35,680 Speaker 2: posted to update everyone here about my old account. I 349 00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:37,800 Speaker 2: couldn't sign in, as they did post on my story 350 00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:39,800 Speaker 2: that I had added the same name, and I put 351 00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:41,560 Speaker 2: a one on it basically using the same user name. 352 00:18:41,760 --> 00:18:44,080 Speaker 2: I'm not from America. If you want to continue it's fake, 353 00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:48,640 Speaker 2: then be my guest. We do have a few relevant 354 00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:51,200 Speaker 2: comments to close us out here. Let's hit him and 355 00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:56,160 Speaker 2: it's all over me and that's on me. Oh oh, 356 00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:59,320 Speaker 2: where are they coming from? Under the relevant comments? 357 00:18:59,359 --> 00:19:02,000 Speaker 1: Fresh Mistake eighty seven and seventy eight says, so he 358 00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:04,639 Speaker 1: told you that he was sleeping around while asking you 359 00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:05,400 Speaker 1: to mend things. 360 00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:08,920 Speaker 2: Sounds crazy, right, I was following the story, but this 361 00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:09,879 Speaker 2: was a weird update. 362 00:19:10,119 --> 00:19:12,200 Speaker 1: Why would he out himself and why does every failed 363 00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:15,920 Speaker 1: relationship on REDDA end up with the spouse cheating out 364 00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:16,480 Speaker 1: of the blue. 365 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:19,800 Speaker 2: I am just confused. Don't come at many people, Ope says, 366 00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:22,600 Speaker 2: That's what got me so puzzled. I didn't even know 367 00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:25,440 Speaker 2: he was cheating for the last two years, and he 368 00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:28,359 Speaker 2: was cheating for two years before this whole incident. He 369 00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:31,320 Speaker 2: didn't show any sign of cheating and just admitted to this. 370 00:19:32,119 --> 00:19:37,800 Speaker 2: Mountain Monitor twenty six too says he's not alone. His 371 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:41,200 Speaker 2: friends is divorcing his wife and he bragged about that wife. 372 00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:44,119 Speaker 2: The prize will be together and lean on each other's support. 373 00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:47,120 Speaker 2: Both families will be entangled for at least a few 374 00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:49,880 Speaker 2: years due to the connection of the children. OP needs 375 00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:53,240 Speaker 2: to have sipulations in the co parenting agreement. Who deal 376 00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:57,000 Speaker 2: with that? Which OP responds, I don't even know. I 377 00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:59,720 Speaker 2: think he really just said that she was better than 378 00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:02,480 Speaker 2: me to hurt me, which is what we said. Like 379 00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:05,399 Speaker 2: Carter said, it wasn't her first time cheating. I do 380 00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:08,760 Speaker 2: have a plan for co parenting right after I give 381 00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:13,920 Speaker 2: birth soon and that's where it ends. And that is 382 00:20:14,359 --> 00:20:22,120 Speaker 2: absolutely everything one did. No p make all the right decisions, 383 00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:28,960 Speaker 2: I think, So talk to me, right right, I just 384 00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:29,520 Speaker 2: forgot about that. 385 00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:32,840 Speaker 1: Yes, I mean, but like putting her foot down and 386 00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:34,560 Speaker 1: being like, I'm not going to be with someone that 387 00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:39,760 Speaker 1: dehumanized my child. Great instantly telling the kid all like 388 00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:44,680 Speaker 1: all the gory details of why her the person that 389 00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:47,359 Speaker 1: she saw as a father was leaving. Probably not the 390 00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:48,080 Speaker 1: best movie. 391 00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:50,920 Speaker 2: I agree, I could see. Maybe it also seems like 392 00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:53,879 Speaker 2: she turned around and told her like pretty quickly. We 393 00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:57,479 Speaker 2: didn't get an exact timeline, but maybe it was a lapse, 394 00:20:57,680 --> 00:21:01,439 Speaker 2: a momentary lapse in judgment and had emotional response, an 395 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:05,560 Speaker 2: emotional response maybe maybe to kind of like even subconsciously 396 00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:08,399 Speaker 2: be like, all right, I'm gonna I'm gonna tell her 397 00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:10,480 Speaker 2: everything and I'm gonna show her what a terrible person 398 00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:12,639 Speaker 2: he is. But actually that ended up not being the 399 00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:16,600 Speaker 2: best case scenario for the daughter unfortunately. And then with 400 00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:22,359 Speaker 2: the baby, do we sue for the full custody? Do 401 00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:23,480 Speaker 2: we do if you have a case? 402 00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:23,680 Speaker 3: No? 403 00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:25,639 Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't think you have a case because we 404 00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:31,080 Speaker 4: have proof of I mean, obviously horrible comment, but in 405 00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:34,480 Speaker 4: the past it seems like he was technically a good father. 406 00:21:35,320 --> 00:21:35,520 Speaker 1: Yeah. 407 00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:38,600 Speaker 2: And also you weren't married, so I don't think you 408 00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:42,440 Speaker 2: have that much of a case. I would I would 409 00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:45,840 Speaker 2: probably try, but I don't know if I would expect 410 00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:48,880 Speaker 2: to have that outcome. I don't know if I would 411 00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:52,480 Speaker 2: even try if honestly, I don't know if I would 412 00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:58,320 Speaker 2: want to. And again, so to be clear, I think, 413 00:21:58,359 --> 00:22:00,240 Speaker 2: and we've seen this in several stories when it so 414 00:22:00,359 --> 00:22:06,360 Speaker 2: the co parenting litigation. They're like, I want full custody 415 00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:10,280 Speaker 2: so I can fully decide what that percentage split should 416 00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:15,560 Speaker 2: be versus like it being mandated, and like if for example, 417 00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:17,840 Speaker 2: let's say let's say he goes crazy again and she's like, 418 00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:22,040 Speaker 2: I don't feel comfortable comfortable leaving her in his house 419 00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:24,600 Speaker 2: for a few months, She's like, all right, I'm taking 420 00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:26,159 Speaker 2: her back, and you have to. You're going to have 421 00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:28,160 Speaker 2: to take a long time to prove to me earn 422 00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:31,760 Speaker 2: have her back some scenario like that. So I would 423 00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:34,680 Speaker 2: I would talk to a lawyer and see what we 424 00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:37,159 Speaker 2: could put together and maybe try as long as it 425 00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:37,920 Speaker 2: wouldn't backfire. 426 00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:41,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I imagine maybe there being some like 427 00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:46,840 Speaker 1: vindictiveness if Op does that from Jesse, where like he 428 00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:50,760 Speaker 1: might try to if he was already so but maybe 429 00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:53,520 Speaker 1: that's even more of a reason to get custody if 430 00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:57,440 Speaker 1: he like, because I could see an issue where she 431 00:22:57,600 --> 00:22:59,920 Speaker 1: tries to get full custody and then Jesse is like, 432 00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:02,080 Speaker 1: how dare you do that and mix her life even 433 00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:09,040 Speaker 1: more miserable. Yeah, but hmmm, like that could happen anyway. 434 00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:12,280 Speaker 1: You know that could happen or whenever she wants exactly that. Oh, 435 00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:16,760 Speaker 1: anything you ask is ridiculous. It's I don't think I 436 00:23:17,119 --> 00:23:20,840 Speaker 1: would because besides this one case, it seems like he's 437 00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:24,159 Speaker 1: been okay. But maybe he's like kind of having like 438 00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:27,359 Speaker 1: a mental break or something. I don't know, Yes, something 439 00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:30,600 Speaker 1: is yeah, I mean well because he's been he's been 440 00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:31,680 Speaker 1: cheating for two years. 441 00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:34,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe he just. 442 00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:36,639 Speaker 4: Wanted to break, like he wanted to end the relationship 443 00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:38,359 Speaker 4: and be with this person he was cheating on. 444 00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:41,639 Speaker 2: Maybe and he was like intentionally trying to sabotage it. 445 00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:44,399 Speaker 1: Or maybe he's one of the and he wanted to 446 00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:50,399 Speaker 1: say it to Ope so Ope could tell his affair 447 00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:52,720 Speaker 1: partner's partner, so he could be with you, a fair partner. 448 00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:57,520 Speaker 1: They like basically implode the relationship. And so he was 449 00:23:57,560 --> 00:24:01,920 Speaker 1: saying all of this on purpose. Oh, be with the 450 00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:06,360 Speaker 1: affair partner. That's some evil for d Chess, some very 451 00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:09,960 Speaker 1: evil for d Chess. You could be right, but you 452 00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:13,600 Speaker 1: know what else is right? But that we have one more. 453 00:24:13,560 --> 00:24:16,359 Speaker 2: Story, one more story, and I'm gonna give it to you. 454 00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:18,720 Speaker 1: Would I be the a hole for skipping out of 455 00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:22,040 Speaker 1: my brother's wedding because he excluded my family from the 456 00:24:22,119 --> 00:24:25,160 Speaker 1: planning and my siblings from the wedding. 457 00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:27,800 Speaker 2: Seems like maybe these a reason. Possibly? 458 00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:30,920 Speaker 1: All right, So I'm a thirty female with seven younger 459 00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:34,080 Speaker 1: siblings twenty five male, A twenty one male, and girls 460 00:24:34,119 --> 00:24:37,000 Speaker 1: twenty two, twenty eighteen and twins seventeen. 461 00:24:37,119 --> 00:24:37,639 Speaker 2: Big family. 462 00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:43,240 Speaker 1: Our large family is close. We've been through a lot together, strife, arguments, 463 00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:46,840 Speaker 1: but we've overcome them. All others around us look to 464 00:24:47,040 --> 00:24:50,280 Speaker 1: us as an example of how close siblings and parents 465 00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:53,679 Speaker 1: should be. We're also big on tradition and our culture, 466 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:55,480 Speaker 1: so it sounds like they've been through thick and thin, 467 00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:58,440 Speaker 1: and our model citizens for what a family should be. 468 00:24:58,760 --> 00:24:59,960 Speaker 1: What could possibly go wrong? 469 00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:01,240 Speaker 2: Nothing, but it does. 470 00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:04,640 Speaker 1: My brother Mark twenty five Mail was the cheapest sibling 471 00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:08,239 Speaker 1: among us. He would always ask us for money from 472 00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:11,000 Speaker 1: our parents and us. God knows what he would spend 473 00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:13,920 Speaker 1: it on, since he kept coming back and asking for more. 474 00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:18,480 Speaker 1: He never contributed anything to the household, even to buy groceries. 475 00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:19,480 Speaker 1: Really selfish. 476 00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:22,480 Speaker 2: That doesn't sound like cheap. That just sounds like a thief. 477 00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:24,920 Speaker 2: Sounds like a thief. I take your money and I 478 00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:25,399 Speaker 2: spend it. 479 00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:30,480 Speaker 1: Later last year, Mark got engaged the date for the 480 00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:33,960 Speaker 1: wedding was set for May. We were all so excited 481 00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:36,080 Speaker 1: to be part of the wedding. We joked about attire, 482 00:25:36,359 --> 00:25:40,119 Speaker 1: the playlist, or the reception, etc. Well, he asked her 483 00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:42,960 Speaker 1: parents for help paying for the wedding. They agreed to 484 00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:45,320 Speaker 1: pay more than half of the price since it would 485 00:25:45,359 --> 00:25:48,879 Speaker 1: be the first wedding of the household, and we later 486 00:25:49,119 --> 00:25:51,879 Speaker 1: learned that he dropped at least eight thousand of his 487 00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:55,080 Speaker 1: own money into the wedding. Turns out he wasn't as 488 00:25:55,119 --> 00:25:57,920 Speaker 1: broke as we thought. The man's been asking for grocery money, 489 00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:00,200 Speaker 1: but rough ak wedding? 490 00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:02,080 Speaker 2: What are we doing? What are you talking to be fair? 491 00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:05,000 Speaker 1: Weddings are expensive? That is also weddings are expensive. 492 00:26:05,359 --> 00:26:05,479 Speaker 2: Right. 493 00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:08,639 Speaker 1: One day we sat down to talk about wedding plans. 494 00:26:09,119 --> 00:26:11,680 Speaker 1: As we were joking around, Mark gave us a list 495 00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:14,000 Speaker 1: of things that would be done for the wedding. He 496 00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:19,639 Speaker 1: started mentioning catering, then collars, pretty tame. Overall, we nodded 497 00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:22,359 Speaker 1: an agreement since everything seemed normal. Then he told us 498 00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:27,200 Speaker 1: that all of his fiance already picked out and purchased 499 00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:30,160 Speaker 1: a dress. We as a family didn't see the dress 500 00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:32,600 Speaker 1: and still don't know what it looks like to this day, 501 00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:35,639 Speaker 1: and weren't there with her to try dresses on. We 502 00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:38,880 Speaker 1: missed that moment with her, So it sounds like maybe 503 00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:41,200 Speaker 1: Op's a little upset that they didn't. 504 00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:42,920 Speaker 2: Get see the dress. They weren't included in on all this. 505 00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:45,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, the women of the family, including my mother, were 506 00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:47,920 Speaker 1: bummed that we weren't there for the dress fitting, but 507 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:51,920 Speaker 1: we assured ourselves whatever dress was picked would be perfect. 508 00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:54,600 Speaker 1: It was their wedding day after all, so it shouldn't 509 00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:57,120 Speaker 1: be too bad. Right, One would think. 510 00:26:57,040 --> 00:26:59,360 Speaker 2: How bad could a wedding dress be? How bum? 511 00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:00,119 Speaker 4: Oh? 512 00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:02,320 Speaker 2: No, is this an ic you in the commons? Put 513 00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:04,200 Speaker 2: icee you in the comments? It's ic you. 514 00:27:04,359 --> 00:27:08,240 Speaker 1: Bed Mark continued to list more things about the wedding 515 00:27:08,359 --> 00:27:10,960 Speaker 1: that he finalized. The venue he chose was a four 516 00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:15,040 Speaker 1: hour drive several states from our hometown, somewhere we've never been. 517 00:27:15,359 --> 00:27:18,080 Speaker 1: The officiator was someone we didn't know. He didn't know 518 00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:20,440 Speaker 1: them either, And the list of things that were set 519 00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:23,880 Speaker 1: grew and grew. We were more and more troubled. Then 520 00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:30,760 Speaker 1: Mark dropped the bombshell. The bombshell, Op, you and your 521 00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:35,080 Speaker 1: partner will be in the bridal party, and you didn't 522 00:27:35,119 --> 00:27:39,879 Speaker 1: know until my other brother also in the bridal party. Okay, 523 00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:44,480 Speaker 1: we asked, what about your other sisters. They're just going 524 00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:47,000 Speaker 1: to be in the reception part. Why aren't they going 525 00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:49,359 Speaker 1: to be in the main wedding? That's the decision I'm making. 526 00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:52,399 Speaker 1: What is the actual reason why exclude your siblings in 527 00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:54,800 Speaker 1: the white wedding. I saw someone else do that at 528 00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:56,920 Speaker 1: their wedding, figured I could. 529 00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:57,199 Speaker 2: Do that too. 530 00:27:57,840 --> 00:28:01,440 Speaker 1: We were shocked and unsatisfied with the answer. I was 531 00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:04,160 Speaker 1: in the wedding with my other brother, but not any 532 00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:07,280 Speaker 1: of the girls. The rest of the family was visibly upset. 533 00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:11,080 Speaker 1: Where did this come from. I'm standing up for my siblings. Yes, 534 00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:13,280 Speaker 1: it's his wedding, but if my siblings won't be part 535 00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:15,760 Speaker 1: of it, I won't be either. I would include my 536 00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:18,960 Speaker 1: own family at my wedding. Am I wrong for doing that? 537 00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:20,960 Speaker 2: And there is a. 538 00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:26,040 Speaker 1: Updates and some additional information, but essentially what it seems 539 00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:30,240 Speaker 1: like is op is upset, Yeah, that their brother isn't 540 00:28:30,359 --> 00:28:33,720 Speaker 1: including the other siblings, the sisters in the bridal party. 541 00:28:34,119 --> 00:28:36,320 Speaker 2: So all the stuff leading up because it almost felt 542 00:28:36,359 --> 00:28:38,560 Speaker 2: like OPI was like taking shots at the catering and 543 00:28:38,640 --> 00:28:40,480 Speaker 2: everything else, that was just the information. 544 00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:43,760 Speaker 1: This is the true this is the like OPI was 545 00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:45,560 Speaker 1: like a little bit upset about all the other things 546 00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:48,800 Speaker 1: right right, right, and I'm getting like what I'm getting 547 00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:52,480 Speaker 1: right now is like op is a little bit too involved. Yeah, 548 00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:55,040 Speaker 1: that's a little bit what I'm getting. Yeah, what I'm getting. 549 00:28:55,120 --> 00:29:00,600 Speaker 1: But the issue is like the right all so uh, 550 00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:04,200 Speaker 1: OPI's brother is only inviting like the male part of 551 00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:10,680 Speaker 1: the family for his section of the like like the grooms, Yeah, people, 552 00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:13,360 Speaker 1: the groom the groom's party, grooms ben, the grooms, Yeah, 553 00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:16,280 Speaker 1: the groom's ben. So isn't that like a normal isn't 554 00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:18,400 Speaker 1: that like a normal thing to do. I want my 555 00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:19,640 Speaker 1: sister to be part of mine. 556 00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:24,080 Speaker 2: But yeah, yea, I feel like, Okay, here's here's maybe 557 00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:27,320 Speaker 2: where it could get tricky. So I don't know if 558 00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:30,840 Speaker 2: you have to bring all the bridesmaids to the bacheloaurette party. 559 00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:34,400 Speaker 2: But let's say like the woman getting married like has 560 00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:36,959 Speaker 2: all her best girlfriends and all this whatever, and then 561 00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:39,560 Speaker 2: she's like, I don't really know your sisters like that, 562 00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:41,160 Speaker 2: and I kind of want to have this like last 563 00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:43,840 Speaker 2: hurrah with like just my friends, slash have this thing 564 00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:46,440 Speaker 2: that's just my friends. I highly suspect that it's the 565 00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:50,880 Speaker 2: bride that is behind this. Oh yeah, hundred percent. 566 00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:54,360 Speaker 1: But couldn't the brother just have his sisters and his 567 00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:56,760 Speaker 1: battle party? But maybe he's just like I just want 568 00:29:56,800 --> 00:29:59,080 Speaker 1: my brothers or in his grooms may. 569 00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:02,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's party. Maybe the thing is like traditionally 570 00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:04,960 Speaker 2: or whatever, it's like, oh well, my party is the 571 00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:07,200 Speaker 2: grooms men. Yeah, it's only to do right and hers 572 00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:09,480 Speaker 2: is only the girls. What are we doing here? Yeah? 573 00:30:09,480 --> 00:30:12,280 Speaker 2: I would invite my sister, but like not everyone like that, 574 00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:16,280 Speaker 2: you know, be funny, like like have like have the 575 00:30:16,360 --> 00:30:19,280 Speaker 2: women in your groom's party also wear matching tuxes with 576 00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:21,800 Speaker 2: the guys. That would be freaking awesome. That would be 577 00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:22,960 Speaker 2: pretty fire. That would be awesome. 578 00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:26,880 Speaker 1: But like I also recognize that not like like not 579 00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:30,680 Speaker 1: everyone has that close relationship with their siblings, and so, like, 580 00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:35,440 Speaker 1: I don't think there should necessarily be the expectation that 581 00:30:35,560 --> 00:30:37,320 Speaker 1: your siblings are part of I. 582 00:30:37,320 --> 00:30:39,640 Speaker 2: Mean, if they're like awful people, get them out of here. 583 00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:41,760 Speaker 1: Maybe I'm kind of get them out of here, but 584 00:30:41,880 --> 00:30:44,120 Speaker 1: like maybe they're just you're not super close to your siblings, 585 00:30:44,160 --> 00:30:47,400 Speaker 1: so you don't want them part of your like bachelortte 586 00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:50,600 Speaker 1: party and bridal party yeah, maybe I don't have a 587 00:30:50,720 --> 00:30:53,480 Speaker 1: ton I mean, like already Opie's like inviting a couple, 588 00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:55,520 Speaker 1: but it sounds like there's a lot of siblings. So 589 00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:59,040 Speaker 1: I'll be honest, I think I'm kind of a coins 590 00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:01,520 Speaker 1: toss right now. I could totally see that. 591 00:31:02,040 --> 00:31:06,080 Speaker 2: I could very much see, uh, the groom and the 592 00:31:06,200 --> 00:31:08,959 Speaker 2: bride being the a holes and like excluding the sisters. 593 00:31:09,320 --> 00:31:14,640 Speaker 2: But also maybe the brother OP is like just kind 594 00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:16,800 Speaker 2: of doing too much and sticking his nose. 595 00:31:17,360 --> 00:31:21,920 Speaker 1: When getting the vibe that the brother OP is trying 596 00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:25,200 Speaker 1: to control the wedding a little bit too much. From 597 00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:28,080 Speaker 1: from like and like there might be some past traumas 598 00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:32,320 Speaker 1: or like the like like OP has seen the brother 599 00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:35,520 Speaker 1: take advantage of situations, and so there's like a built 600 00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:38,600 Speaker 1: up resentment. But I'm getting a vibe that a little 601 00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:39,520 Speaker 1: bit too much involved. 602 00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:41,800 Speaker 2: I'm going either way right now. I need more information. 603 00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:44,560 Speaker 1: I'm leaning I'm leaning a little bit towards but I 604 00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:47,080 Speaker 1: think we need more information, so let's get it additional 605 00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:51,640 Speaker 1: information perfect. I would like to offer some clarity about 606 00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:53,400 Speaker 1: what some of the comments have been saying, not to 607 00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:56,720 Speaker 1: justify myself, but to explain the culture behind everything and 608 00:31:56,800 --> 00:32:00,239 Speaker 1: why we're upset In my culture, it is cuss them 609 00:32:00,280 --> 00:32:02,600 Speaker 1: for the family of the man to plan and run 610 00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:05,560 Speaker 1: the wedding. All members of the immediate family are involved 611 00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:08,600 Speaker 1: in major roles, including the siblings. This is true for 612 00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:12,320 Speaker 1: all male children. If any members of the family are excluded, 613 00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:16,320 Speaker 1: it's a sign of animosity or hatred. Excluding family members 614 00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:18,920 Speaker 1: from the wedding party is like a middle finger to them. 615 00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:21,479 Speaker 1: So maybe there's some cultural context we're not understanding. There 616 00:32:21,560 --> 00:32:24,480 Speaker 1: has never been a wedding in our extended family where 617 00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:27,040 Speaker 1: none of the siblings or parents were involved, unless there 618 00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:29,960 Speaker 1: was some sort of malice behind it. My parents' wedding 619 00:32:29,960 --> 00:32:34,600 Speaker 1: anniversary included all my siblings and myself and the bridal party, 620 00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:37,320 Speaker 1: all the cousins we have got married with their families, 621 00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:40,280 Speaker 1: even traveling and paying for everyone to fly to another 622 00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:43,400 Speaker 1: country to attend and participate in the ceremony. Excluding the 623 00:32:43,480 --> 00:32:45,400 Speaker 1: younger girls would send a message to the rest of 624 00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:48,800 Speaker 1: the extended family that there is something wrong between all 625 00:32:48,840 --> 00:32:52,200 Speaker 1: of us. So there might be some some beef bruin. 626 00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:55,840 Speaker 1: From my observation, I haven't seen anything happening between Mark 627 00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:58,520 Speaker 1: and the other girls. We all get along just by. 628 00:32:59,080 --> 00:33:01,040 Speaker 1: We even live in the same house together. 629 00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:01,600 Speaker 2: That's great. 630 00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:04,200 Speaker 1: Oh wow, this is why we were insistent on the 631 00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:06,800 Speaker 1: reason behind why he wasn't including the rest of the girls. 632 00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:09,680 Speaker 1: It goes against tradition, and we see it as a 633 00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:15,240 Speaker 1: sign of resentments. And there is an update from three 634 00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:19,959 Speaker 1: weeks later. But does that context sway you at all? 635 00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:22,880 Speaker 1: I think, Yeah, I think I'm being swayed. I think 636 00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:28,920 Speaker 1: I will now go towards the groom and bride being 637 00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:31,560 Speaker 1: the a whole. I think now with the cultural context 638 00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:35,480 Speaker 1: and everything that's come before, I am also that going 639 00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:35,840 Speaker 1: that way. 640 00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:38,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, dang it, I was I was hoping we'd be split. 641 00:33:38,400 --> 00:33:43,760 Speaker 1: Now today I feel like i'm I think the cultural 642 00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:45,760 Speaker 1: context changes things, changes things. 643 00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:49,520 Speaker 2: And the fact that all of the other weddings have 644 00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:51,120 Speaker 2: had not just all the siblings, but like all the 645 00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:55,320 Speaker 2: cousins everyone else. Not that you necessarily should like if 646 00:33:55,720 --> 00:33:57,800 Speaker 2: your brother does your wedding one way, you should do 647 00:33:57,920 --> 00:34:01,360 Speaker 2: yours the same. But yeah, yeah, I'm maybe he. 648 00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:03,560 Speaker 1: Doesn't fuck with the tradition. Maybe it's just like it's 649 00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:06,920 Speaker 1: not animasi, it's just like, hey, I I'm I want 650 00:34:06,960 --> 00:34:08,680 Speaker 1: to do things my own way. Is that is that 651 00:34:08,760 --> 00:34:09,279 Speaker 1: a bad then? 652 00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:12,000 Speaker 2: I don't. I don't think he's doing that I think. 653 00:34:12,080 --> 00:34:14,399 Speaker 2: I think there's anima. I think it's for nefarious reasons. 654 00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:15,640 Speaker 2: I thinks for mischievous reasons. 655 00:34:15,719 --> 00:34:18,359 Speaker 1: Well, let's get into this big, juicy update and find 656 00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:21,000 Speaker 1: out what really happened. So this serves as an update 657 00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:22,759 Speaker 1: on my previous post that I made weeks ago. It 658 00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:25,200 Speaker 1: seems that because of recent updates, there are more details 659 00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:27,120 Speaker 1: that I need to include to summarize. I am a 660 00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:30,240 Speaker 1: thirty female with a large family, including two younger brothers 661 00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:34,160 Speaker 1: and four younger sisters. I made a post previously stating 662 00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:35,840 Speaker 1: that my brother Mark twenty five, was going to have 663 00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:39,080 Speaker 1: a wedding in May. He only wanted me and my 664 00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:41,279 Speaker 1: other brother to be in the wedding party and my 665 00:34:41,360 --> 00:34:44,760 Speaker 1: other sisters to be excluded. So to be clear, OPI 666 00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:45,879 Speaker 1: is a woman. 667 00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:47,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, I missed that. 668 00:34:47,480 --> 00:34:49,680 Speaker 1: I missed that though I forgot that she is a 669 00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:52,760 Speaker 1: sister that's being invited, but all of the other sisters 670 00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:55,120 Speaker 1: are not being invited. Yeah, which makes me even more 671 00:34:55,280 --> 00:34:58,239 Speaker 1: on her side. Opie actually deleted the initial post. There 672 00:34:58,280 --> 00:35:00,120 Speaker 1: are two reasons as to why I deleted it. The 673 00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:04,759 Speaker 1: original post one shame. It wasn't fun being called an 674 00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:06,600 Speaker 1: a hole by a lot of people. I felt bad. 675 00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:08,839 Speaker 1: I didn't like the criticism, and the emotions I felt 676 00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:11,160 Speaker 1: all the time drove me to do it. Two, I 677 00:35:11,280 --> 00:35:13,160 Speaker 1: knew that there was something more to it than what 678 00:35:13,239 --> 00:35:15,400 Speaker 1: I was writing. I posted too early, and from the 679 00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:17,960 Speaker 1: new information that has been brought up, I decided to 680 00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:22,080 Speaker 1: make another post who There was a paragraph that I 681 00:35:22,160 --> 00:35:25,120 Speaker 1: included about Mark being stingy with money. I explained that 682 00:35:25,280 --> 00:35:27,280 Speaker 1: everyone in the family got along, but Mark was always 683 00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:29,680 Speaker 1: asking for money and never paying it back and participating 684 00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:33,239 Speaker 1: in frivolous spending. I didn't realize until now that this 685 00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:37,120 Speaker 1: paragraph would have been more relevant. In the original post, 686 00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:39,680 Speaker 1: I explained that he paid for half of the wedding venue, 687 00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:42,680 Speaker 1: so it was understandable that he would exclude people from 688 00:35:42,719 --> 00:35:45,759 Speaker 1: the wedding and go against traditions of including the whole 689 00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:48,239 Speaker 1: family and the party. He told us I just want 690 00:35:48,280 --> 00:35:51,160 Speaker 1: a small wedding. I don't have to follow traditions, and 691 00:35:51,320 --> 00:35:53,960 Speaker 1: we were angry and threatened to leave the wedding entirely. 692 00:35:54,320 --> 00:35:57,080 Speaker 1: Reddit called me An a hole for this. Initially I 693 00:35:57,120 --> 00:36:00,239 Speaker 1: would have agreed if it was just this information, but 694 00:36:00,840 --> 00:36:06,759 Speaker 1: but turns out he lied. Oh he did not contribute 695 00:36:06,880 --> 00:36:11,040 Speaker 1: a single cent to the wedding, not for the venue, 696 00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:12,560 Speaker 1: not for the catering, not for the DJ. 697 00:36:12,719 --> 00:36:12,919 Speaker 2: Nothing. 698 00:36:12,960 --> 00:36:15,320 Speaker 1: In fact, my mother Carol paid for most of it, 699 00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:18,400 Speaker 1: while the future in laws paid for half of the venue. 700 00:36:18,560 --> 00:36:20,320 Speaker 1: He said he paid. 701 00:36:20,560 --> 00:36:24,120 Speaker 2: He was bamboo zealing each side. Maybe right, Maybe he was. 702 00:36:24,280 --> 00:36:26,600 Speaker 2: Maybe he was saying, like he's going to pay. Is 703 00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:31,640 Speaker 2: in like he will provide money, yeah, or he will help, 704 00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:34,320 Speaker 2: he will make sure money will be allocated towards it. 705 00:36:34,560 --> 00:36:37,360 Speaker 1: He doesn't own that money. Yeah, yeah, but he is overseeing. 706 00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:40,400 Speaker 1: He's he's like he's like a hedge fund manager. Yes, 707 00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:43,839 Speaker 1: he's overseeing the Catholic exactly. He's a manager of the money. 708 00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:44,120 Speaker 2: Yeah. 709 00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:46,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, So maybe maybe he's not lying. He's just like 710 00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:49,640 Speaker 1: saying it's gonna be taking I think he's lying. Carol 711 00:36:49,760 --> 00:36:52,879 Speaker 1: funded the clothes, the food, the MC seventy five percent 712 00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:55,440 Speaker 1: of the venue, and is still pouring thousands of dollars 713 00:36:55,520 --> 00:36:59,360 Speaker 1: into the wedding for more things. Mark is insisting on 714 00:36:59,440 --> 00:37:02,200 Speaker 1: demanding more things to the wedding, which includes excluding some 715 00:37:02,360 --> 00:37:04,920 Speaker 1: of our family from the wedding party. Meanwhile, he's not 716 00:37:05,040 --> 00:37:08,719 Speaker 1: paying for the parties, dresses, or suits. Once again, he's 717 00:37:08,800 --> 00:37:10,879 Speaker 1: expecting the rest of us to foot the bill while 718 00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:14,000 Speaker 1: he sits back and doesn't plan his own wedding. Sam, 719 00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:18,600 Speaker 1: you know what, beggars can't be choosers, choos on which 720 00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:20,160 Speaker 1: side on the mong side? 721 00:37:20,520 --> 00:37:24,840 Speaker 5: His side. Well, I feel like because he's asking for 722 00:37:24,920 --> 00:37:26,919 Speaker 5: more stuff, right, He's like, oh, let's do this, let's 723 00:37:26,920 --> 00:37:29,359 Speaker 5: do this, let's do this, and it's like, bro, we're 724 00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:32,160 Speaker 5: already paying. Both sides of the family are paying for it, 725 00:37:32,239 --> 00:37:34,480 Speaker 5: not you. Well, so how can you ask for more? 726 00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:37,080 Speaker 1: He's basically saying you need to pay for your own 727 00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:39,920 Speaker 1: dresses and suits, which I think is a normal thing 728 00:37:40,040 --> 00:37:43,239 Speaker 1: to have people pay for in a wedding, right. 729 00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:47,360 Speaker 2: I have heard. I feel like I've heard like a 730 00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:50,120 Speaker 2: bride buying matching dresses, so that way it goes with 731 00:37:50,600 --> 00:37:52,880 Speaker 2: there's like like a theme that maybe ties to the 732 00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:55,040 Speaker 2: wedding dress or just like the theme in general. I 733 00:37:55,120 --> 00:37:58,040 Speaker 2: have heard of that before. I don't think it's like 734 00:37:58,440 --> 00:38:02,080 Speaker 2: comp never happen, but I don't think it is. I 735 00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:03,880 Speaker 2: think it is very normal for people to buy their 736 00:38:03,920 --> 00:38:06,920 Speaker 2: own stuff. Yeah, I don't know, Okay, I'm kind of 737 00:38:07,040 --> 00:38:11,880 Speaker 2: like going back, dude, we're just kidding here. On the spectrum. 738 00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:14,879 Speaker 1: Once again, he's expecting us to foot the bill while 739 00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:16,600 Speaker 1: he sits back and doesn't plan his own wedding. He 740 00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:19,080 Speaker 1: won't even let Carol invite people she wants, even though 741 00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:22,920 Speaker 1: she's paying and her guests wouldn't break capacity. It is 742 00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:26,400 Speaker 1: his wedding anyway. Carol can't take it anymore. She's stressed 743 00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:28,560 Speaker 1: having to do this herself. I've seen her and my 744 00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:31,799 Speaker 1: father cry out to him. It doesn't even seem worth 745 00:38:31,840 --> 00:38:32,360 Speaker 1: it anymore. 746 00:38:32,800 --> 00:38:35,520 Speaker 2: Am I the a hole? And the mother is Carol? 747 00:38:36,160 --> 00:38:38,400 Speaker 1: And Carol is the one who funded the food the 748 00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:40,399 Speaker 1: MC seventy five percent of the venue and is still 749 00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:43,840 Speaker 1: pouring thousands into the wedding, which is what initially OPI 750 00:38:43,960 --> 00:38:47,960 Speaker 1: thought that the groom, the brother was providing right, like 751 00:38:48,080 --> 00:38:49,440 Speaker 1: he was paying for that out of pocket. 752 00:38:49,719 --> 00:38:53,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, just the mom, No, yeah, just the mom. 753 00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:55,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, I know. In fact, my mother, Carol paid for 754 00:38:55,680 --> 00:38:57,200 Speaker 1: most of it. So it's the mother that can still 755 00:38:57,200 --> 00:38:59,680 Speaker 1: paid for most of it. Yeah, it wasn't the I 756 00:38:59,719 --> 00:39:02,600 Speaker 1: think we got that mixed up. It wasn't the other family. 757 00:39:02,680 --> 00:39:05,520 Speaker 1: Other family got you? Who is the mother got you 758 00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:06,279 Speaker 1: so and so? 759 00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:08,760 Speaker 2: To clarify, so the mother's paying for a bunch of stuff, 760 00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:11,640 Speaker 2: wasn't there someone else that was helping pay for things 761 00:39:11,960 --> 00:39:13,200 Speaker 2: or am I misremembering? 762 00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:15,400 Speaker 1: Well, who's paying for the other twenty five percent? 763 00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:18,239 Speaker 2: That's what I was wondering, right, I thought there was 764 00:39:18,280 --> 00:39:20,640 Speaker 2: a mention of the I'm confused. 765 00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:23,040 Speaker 1: I don't see anything. Wait, he did not contribute a 766 00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:23,440 Speaker 1: single cent. 767 00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:24,520 Speaker 2: Oh, here we go. 768 00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:26,560 Speaker 1: My mother Carol paid for most of it, while the 769 00:39:26,600 --> 00:39:29,280 Speaker 1: future in laws paid for half the venue he said 770 00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:30,200 Speaker 1: he paid for. 771 00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:34,160 Speaker 2: Got it. So he he lied and said he was 772 00:39:34,239 --> 00:39:36,520 Speaker 2: paying for it when the in laws were paying for Yeah, 773 00:39:36,520 --> 00:39:39,400 Speaker 2: and yeah, go off the clothes, the food, the MC Okay, okay. 774 00:39:39,440 --> 00:39:41,600 Speaker 2: So basically everything that he said he paid for the 775 00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:42,320 Speaker 2: in laws paid for. 776 00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:44,560 Speaker 1: Yes, which makes sense. All right, all right, now we're 777 00:39:44,560 --> 00:39:48,560 Speaker 1: on the same page. So is OP the a hole? 778 00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:56,279 Speaker 1: I would say no, because the groom lied and but 779 00:39:56,360 --> 00:39:57,759 Speaker 1: maybe it's the money allocation thing. 780 00:39:58,080 --> 00:40:01,840 Speaker 2: Why did he lie though? That's weird. That's an indicator 781 00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:05,320 Speaker 2: to me that he's being mischievous. Yeah, because you wouldn't 782 00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:09,200 Speaker 2: say like you'd be like you'd be like, hey, I'm 783 00:40:09,239 --> 00:40:11,560 Speaker 2: going to do it this way. The in laws are 784 00:40:11,719 --> 00:40:14,120 Speaker 2: are covering it, you guys aren't, And I want to 785 00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:15,840 Speaker 2: do it this way because you're not paying for the 786 00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:18,839 Speaker 2: whole thing. That's very different than being like, I am 787 00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:21,719 Speaker 2: paying for this, so I want it this way, right, 788 00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:24,160 Speaker 2: which is what he said in order to like get 789 00:40:24,239 --> 00:40:24,919 Speaker 2: him off his back. 790 00:40:25,040 --> 00:40:25,160 Speaker 4: Right. 791 00:40:26,120 --> 00:40:31,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, for the lie, because like you would, what you 792 00:40:31,920 --> 00:40:35,520 Speaker 1: should say is like, oh, don't worry, my fiance's family 793 00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:38,120 Speaker 1: has it, and you wouldn't say no, I have it, yes, 794 00:40:38,840 --> 00:40:39,080 Speaker 1: so me. 795 00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:41,120 Speaker 2: Maybe he's not an a hole for making everyone buy 796 00:40:41,200 --> 00:40:42,799 Speaker 2: their own dresses and suits or whatever else. 797 00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:44,160 Speaker 1: But I think the a hole for the lie, a 798 00:40:44,280 --> 00:40:46,760 Speaker 1: whole for the why, and there are some relevant comments 799 00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:51,879 Speaker 1: so complicated, you're the a hole slash everyone's the a whole. 800 00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:56,000 Speaker 1: The fact that your mom's paying doesn't mean that she 801 00:40:56,080 --> 00:40:58,440 Speaker 1: gets to make all the choices. If her love and 802 00:40:58,480 --> 00:41:01,640 Speaker 1: support are conditioned getting her way, she shouldn't have offered. 803 00:41:01,920 --> 00:41:05,440 Speaker 1: She is just loan sharking. If your brother isn't so 804 00:41:05,520 --> 00:41:07,279 Speaker 1: close to your siblings, he shouldn't have to include them 805 00:41:07,320 --> 00:41:09,319 Speaker 1: in his party. He may have other people he wants 806 00:41:09,360 --> 00:41:12,000 Speaker 1: to include, and you are certainly a lot of siblings 807 00:41:12,280 --> 00:41:15,840 Speaker 1: and acting awfully entitled. Same goes for your mom inviting 808 00:41:15,880 --> 00:41:18,480 Speaker 1: her friends. The party is not about her. Why is 809 00:41:18,560 --> 00:41:23,040 Speaker 1: that hard to understand? I agree with this but I 810 00:41:23,160 --> 00:41:26,680 Speaker 1: think the cultural context kind of does play a factor, 811 00:41:26,719 --> 00:41:29,759 Speaker 1: does play a factor. Yep, it's Mark's wedding. He and 812 00:41:29,840 --> 00:41:32,840 Speaker 1: his future spouse should invite whom they want, should have 813 00:41:32,880 --> 00:41:35,080 Speaker 1: the parties they want. And if your mom and siblings 814 00:41:35,120 --> 00:41:36,800 Speaker 1: can't handle this not being about them, they need a 815 00:41:36,840 --> 00:41:41,560 Speaker 1: reality check. It's sad how all transactional you are so like. 816 00:41:42,080 --> 00:41:45,520 Speaker 1: I agree, it's their wedding. I think it is complicated 817 00:41:45,600 --> 00:41:48,960 Speaker 1: because of tradition. But just because something is traditional doesn't 818 00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:51,640 Speaker 1: mean that someone has to buy by the transition correct 819 00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:53,240 Speaker 1: or he doesn't have to buy into the tradition. 820 00:41:53,400 --> 00:41:56,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, the tradition might be dookie and push might be 821 00:41:56,400 --> 00:41:57,880 Speaker 2: doing Why are we doing this. 822 00:41:58,040 --> 00:42:02,040 Speaker 1: Exactly the opionds. My mother is paying for more than 823 00:42:02,120 --> 00:42:04,080 Speaker 1: half of the venue and everything else in the wedding. 824 00:42:04,320 --> 00:42:06,040 Speaker 1: She and Mark made a list of people who were 825 00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:08,880 Speaker 1: included in the wedding, including people she wanted to invite 826 00:42:08,920 --> 00:42:10,600 Speaker 1: that were approved by the two of them, and he 827 00:42:10,719 --> 00:42:12,880 Speaker 1: is now deciding to take back his word. The in 828 00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:15,880 Speaker 1: laws are being treated with priority and everyone on that 829 00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:18,839 Speaker 1: side is being catered to and invited. Meanwhile, we're being 830 00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:22,000 Speaker 1: left behind. Marked lied about paying for things, He lied 831 00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:25,400 Speaker 1: about the invite list, and he lied about the venue. 832 00:42:25,719 --> 00:42:29,839 Speaker 1: And then Maddie Kett responds, any clarification, are the other 833 00:42:29,920 --> 00:42:33,080 Speaker 1: siblings invited to the wedding and just not in the 834 00:42:33,120 --> 00:42:35,600 Speaker 1: wedding party or not invited at all? And Nopie responds, 835 00:42:35,680 --> 00:42:38,040 Speaker 1: all the siblings were invited, but at first my brother 836 00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:40,080 Speaker 1: purposely left them out of the wedding party. It took 837 00:42:40,160 --> 00:42:42,520 Speaker 1: his fiance and other members of the wedding party to 838 00:42:42,600 --> 00:42:44,960 Speaker 1: let the rest of the siblings be in the wedding. 839 00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:47,440 Speaker 1: In that regard, oh, there was room for all of us, 840 00:42:47,560 --> 00:42:49,279 Speaker 1: and the clothes for the party are being funded by 841 00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:51,960 Speaker 1: my mother, but he decided to not include us initially. 842 00:42:52,360 --> 00:42:54,520 Speaker 1: So and then someone says, why is that a problem? 843 00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:58,400 Speaker 1: What is wrong with just being a guest? And that 844 00:42:58,680 --> 00:42:59,959 Speaker 1: is where this one. 845 00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:02,160 Speaker 2: Wow, the whole thing benito. 846 00:43:02,880 --> 00:43:07,359 Speaker 1: Okay, Actually that last response from am Ope, I feel 847 00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:09,640 Speaker 1: like filled in all of the gaps and knowledge that 848 00:43:10,239 --> 00:43:11,000 Speaker 1: I needed to know. 849 00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:15,000 Speaker 2: So I would say, definitely the a hole that it 850 00:43:15,160 --> 00:43:17,560 Speaker 2: wasn't the it wasn't the bride, it wasn't the fiance. 851 00:43:18,400 --> 00:43:22,920 Speaker 2: It was him that was excluding the sisters because he said, like, oh, 852 00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:26,239 Speaker 2: eventually his bride to be got them to be in 853 00:43:26,400 --> 00:43:28,279 Speaker 2: the in the bridal party, right, but initially he was 854 00:43:28,320 --> 00:43:30,680 Speaker 2: like trying to kick him out. So he's lying about 855 00:43:30,880 --> 00:43:33,680 Speaker 2: using the funds, he's going back on his word on 856 00:43:34,200 --> 00:43:37,680 Speaker 2: the approved guest list of his mom's friends. He's trying 857 00:43:37,719 --> 00:43:39,240 Speaker 2: to kick his sisters out of the wedding. 858 00:43:39,960 --> 00:43:42,680 Speaker 1: He's not getting you said, okay, actually not kicking out 859 00:43:43,080 --> 00:43:44,960 Speaker 1: to push back a little bit, push push me, So 860 00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:49,600 Speaker 1: like he is not kicking his sisters out of the wedding. Yeah, 861 00:43:49,680 --> 00:43:53,400 Speaker 1: he is not having them be part of like the 862 00:43:53,560 --> 00:43:55,920 Speaker 1: bridal party, which I think is a little bit different. 863 00:43:55,920 --> 00:43:59,840 Speaker 1: They're still going to get total and just because some 864 00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:02,879 Speaker 1: one's paying for it doesn't mean, like I think it's 865 00:44:03,760 --> 00:44:05,680 Speaker 1: really at the end of the day, like we said 866 00:44:05,719 --> 00:44:08,520 Speaker 1: many times in the show, it's your wedding, it's your party. 867 00:44:08,760 --> 00:44:10,879 Speaker 1: You get to decide who gets to be there. If 868 00:44:10,920 --> 00:44:14,840 Speaker 1: someone is paying for it, I still don't think like 869 00:44:15,040 --> 00:44:17,000 Speaker 1: they get to invite whoever they want. Maybe you don't 870 00:44:17,080 --> 00:44:18,920 Speaker 1: like certain people that they want to invite, and you 871 00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:21,919 Speaker 1: wanted to be like you're close friends, you know. Ook 872 00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:25,120 Speaker 1: fair fair, But then you have to tell them when 873 00:44:25,200 --> 00:44:28,279 Speaker 1: they present them you can't approve them, and then go 874 00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:29,799 Speaker 1: back and disinvite them. 875 00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:32,120 Speaker 2: That's that's the the issue. 876 00:44:32,440 --> 00:44:35,279 Speaker 1: But like, like, are you saying maybe conspiracy theory? 877 00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:35,600 Speaker 2: Yep. 878 00:44:38,360 --> 00:44:42,200 Speaker 1: Did Op agreed to everything his mom said initially to 879 00:44:42,280 --> 00:44:46,319 Speaker 1: get the money, and then once everything was in motion, 880 00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:49,200 Speaker 1: was like, ah nah, which I think is an a 881 00:44:49,280 --> 00:44:52,000 Speaker 1: whole move totally. Is the a whole move not the 882 00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:57,439 Speaker 1: A whole move, is the reversal, not the act itself. Well, 883 00:44:57,719 --> 00:45:00,239 Speaker 1: so that's a great conspiracy theory, and I think you're 884 00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:05,120 Speaker 1: probably right. But let's pretend, let's pretend it's not even 885 00:45:05,160 --> 00:45:06,680 Speaker 1: that's not even reality. 886 00:45:07,440 --> 00:45:09,160 Speaker 2: Let's go to let's go to a world where that 887 00:45:09,280 --> 00:45:14,279 Speaker 2: is not the case. He never he totally could have 888 00:45:14,400 --> 00:45:16,759 Speaker 2: not been the a hole and said like, hey, I'm 889 00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:19,680 Speaker 2: not gonna let you invite your your friend's mom. You 890 00:45:19,880 --> 00:45:25,520 Speaker 2: can't approve them once and then go back and remove them. Grew. 891 00:45:26,200 --> 00:45:31,200 Speaker 2: But on the flip side, it's his wedding, it is 892 00:45:31,680 --> 00:45:32,279 Speaker 2: I do. 893 00:45:32,520 --> 00:45:34,640 Speaker 1: I'm very much on the vibes of just because someone 894 00:45:34,680 --> 00:45:36,839 Speaker 1: pays doesn't mean they can like take over and invite 895 00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:39,800 Speaker 1: who they want. But if you agree on something in 896 00:45:39,880 --> 00:45:43,239 Speaker 1: this specific context, just tell your mom from the jump 897 00:45:43,320 --> 00:45:44,760 Speaker 1: out the gate, I do not want. 898 00:45:44,640 --> 00:45:46,759 Speaker 2: These people on my wedding, yet never approve it to 899 00:45:46,960 --> 00:45:48,680 Speaker 2: begin with. Yeah, then you're in the clear. You're not 900 00:45:48,760 --> 00:45:50,560 Speaker 2: the ahole. I don't care if your mom paid. You 901 00:45:50,600 --> 00:45:53,040 Speaker 2: don't want these people at your wedding, Fine, that's that's 902 00:45:53,120 --> 00:45:55,719 Speaker 2: totally cool. So I think I think there's enough like 903 00:45:56,160 --> 00:46:00,840 Speaker 2: in my you know, redline, crazy FBI corkboard of the 904 00:46:00,920 --> 00:46:06,080 Speaker 2: brothers smithsdeeds, the groomsmith's deeds, there's enough here to to 905 00:46:06,160 --> 00:46:08,839 Speaker 2: pin him with the crime of being an a whole. 906 00:46:09,120 --> 00:46:13,839 Speaker 2: I throwing it down. I am I think I think 907 00:46:13,920 --> 00:46:18,120 Speaker 2: he's a whole ish. Yep, I think he's a whole ish. 908 00:46:18,239 --> 00:46:21,600 Speaker 2: But but do we yes, yes or no or not? 909 00:46:22,520 --> 00:46:24,880 Speaker 2: We're gonna We're gonna have to let the comments decide. 910 00:46:24,640 --> 00:46:28,399 Speaker 1: To I'm gonna say a hole. I have to say 911 00:46:28,440 --> 00:46:32,960 Speaker 1: a whole. But with the stipulation is it is his wedding? Yeah, okay, 912 00:46:33,280 --> 00:46:35,680 Speaker 1: And honestly, maybe you have a right to be an 913 00:46:35,680 --> 00:46:37,759 Speaker 1: a whole at your wedding, fair enough. 914 00:46:37,960 --> 00:46:40,359 Speaker 2: I'm I am super curious on the comments on this one. 915 00:46:40,520 --> 00:46:43,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think we might. I think we might be split. Yeah, 916 00:46:43,080 --> 00:46:44,319 Speaker 1: I think there might be a split. So let us 917 00:46:44,360 --> 00:46:48,000 Speaker 1: know what you think of the comments. But but I 918 00:46:48,400 --> 00:46:50,920 Speaker 1: also want to let you know something. Yeah, I have 919 00:46:51,440 --> 00:46:54,319 Speaker 1: one more final story, one more story. Let's freakin get 920 00:46:54,360 --> 00:46:54,600 Speaker 1: at it. 921 00:46:54,719 --> 00:46:55,239 Speaker 2: Let's do there.