1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:02,680 Speaker 1: Buggle up and hold on tight. We got a full year. 2 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:06,240 Speaker 1: It is a strawberry letta subject. What kind of man 3 00:00:06,320 --> 00:00:09,559 Speaker 1: does that? Dear Steve Harvey Morning Show. I'm a twenty 4 00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:12,720 Speaker 1: seven year old mother of two sons, ages five and seven. 5 00:00:12,960 --> 00:00:15,600 Speaker 1: I have a difficult situation and thought I would ask 6 00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:18,279 Speaker 1: for your advice. I have been legally married to a 7 00:00:18,320 --> 00:00:21,479 Speaker 1: man for six long years, but separated for three and 8 00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:24,280 Speaker 1: a half. We have one son together, and he has 9 00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:27,000 Speaker 1: been in my oldest child's life since he was a baby. 10 00:00:27,480 --> 00:00:31,520 Speaker 1: Under the religion that I follow, divorce is not an 11 00:00:31,560 --> 00:00:34,640 Speaker 1: option for me. We did not have a premier, we 12 00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:37,800 Speaker 1: did not have premarital sex. So I fell head over 13 00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:40,640 Speaker 1: heels when he was able to go a year without 14 00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:44,440 Speaker 1: pressuring me into sleeping with him. Basically, I've felt in 15 00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:48,400 Speaker 1: my heart that God sent this man to me. Well, 16 00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:52,520 Speaker 1: my husband chose to leave our church in parentheses, which 17 00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:55,160 Speaker 1: is his right to do so if he chooses, or 18 00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:58,280 Speaker 1: if he want, and he left me to move back 19 00:00:58,360 --> 00:01:02,200 Speaker 1: in with his mother. Well, once he left me, he 20 00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:05,600 Speaker 1: allowed our house to foreclose, our car to become repossessed, 21 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:08,840 Speaker 1: and took what was left in the bank. To make 22 00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:12,120 Speaker 1: a long story short, not long after he moved in 23 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:15,120 Speaker 1: with his mom, he moved a woman and her two 24 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:18,440 Speaker 1: kids in his mother's home. He has been with this 25 00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:22,000 Speaker 1: trick ever since, and they still reside in his mother's 26 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:26,240 Speaker 1: home till this day, although his mother moved out. Now, 27 00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:29,039 Speaker 1: he and I are still legally married, and I can't 28 00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:33,680 Speaker 1: understand why he won't divorce me already. I have not 29 00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:36,800 Speaker 1: moved on, and I'm not dating anyone because, like I 30 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:41,120 Speaker 1: said earlier, my beliefs prohibit me from divorce. But please 31 00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:43,880 Speaker 1: tell me what kind of man takes care of another 32 00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:46,840 Speaker 1: woman and her kids but won't divorce the one he's 33 00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:50,160 Speaker 1: still legally bound to. Also, what do I do when 34 00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:52,400 Speaker 1: he brings her with him to my place to pick 35 00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:56,160 Speaker 1: up the kids? Please help? I'm so tired of being 36 00:01:56,200 --> 00:02:01,680 Speaker 1: sick and tired. Yeah, my cinema sick, actually, Steve, you know, 37 00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:04,800 Speaker 1: I mean, you know, I don't know what kind of 38 00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:08,600 Speaker 1: religion this is. You know, I don't presume to think 39 00:02:08,639 --> 00:02:11,400 Speaker 1: it's any kind. I don't know what this is you're 40 00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:14,600 Speaker 1: involved in. I I really don't. I don't understand uh, 41 00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:19,600 Speaker 1: a religion or anything that would, um, you know, require 42 00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:21,800 Speaker 1: you to stay married and not divorce a man that 43 00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:24,239 Speaker 1: treats you like this. I don't get it. I mean, 44 00:02:24,360 --> 00:02:27,440 Speaker 1: I thought religion was supposed to be a barometer and 45 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:31,280 Speaker 1: a guideline for your life. You know, not to dictate, um, 46 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:33,880 Speaker 1: and you know, and you really only have to answer 47 00:02:33,919 --> 00:02:36,440 Speaker 1: to God here. I'll just leave it at that. Um, 48 00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:38,760 Speaker 1: you've been separated from your husband for three and a 49 00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:41,280 Speaker 1: half years. I mean he's not been your husband ever 50 00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:44,200 Speaker 1: since he left you moved with another woman. Uh, in 51 00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:47,680 Speaker 1: his mother's house. Uh, this is not your husband. You're 52 00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:51,400 Speaker 1: gonna continually be in bondage unless you take charge of 53 00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:54,119 Speaker 1: your life. I mean, you know, I would suggest maybe 54 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:57,280 Speaker 1: you going to the people that are the head of 55 00:02:57,280 --> 00:02:59,560 Speaker 1: your religion and perhaps talking to the minister of the 56 00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:02,600 Speaker 1: past whatever. I mean, this is a tough situation here, 57 00:03:02,919 --> 00:03:06,600 Speaker 1: you know. UM, I just don't understand what kind of 58 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:09,360 Speaker 1: religion this is that would um you know, have you 59 00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:12,120 Speaker 1: stuck in something like this? You're right, you can't move 60 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:15,880 Speaker 1: forward unless you deal with this situation. And the only 61 00:03:15,919 --> 00:03:18,120 Speaker 1: way right now to deal with it is to divorce 62 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:21,080 Speaker 1: this man. You're waiting for him to do it. He's 63 00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:23,919 Speaker 1: not gonna do it, obviously. He's okay with how things are. 64 00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:26,760 Speaker 1: You're gonna have to do it yourself and take charge 65 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:32,000 Speaker 1: of your own life and be accountable and withholding to God, 66 00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:38,160 Speaker 1: to holding to God. Uh, Steve, this is crazy crazy. 67 00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:41,120 Speaker 1: We got your response coming up. I don't know what 68 00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:43,640 Speaker 1: to tell her. All right, Steve, come on with part 69 00:03:43,680 --> 00:03:47,560 Speaker 1: two of your response to today's Strawberry letter. What kind 70 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:53,240 Speaker 1: of man does this? Hm? I don't really to start 71 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:57,840 Speaker 1: in your letter because every line is field with ridiculous. 72 00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:01,160 Speaker 1: So let me just try it this way. Let's just 73 00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:03,920 Speaker 1: start with the U so sick and tired of being 74 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:08,000 Speaker 1: sick and tired? And my opening remarks this morning, I said, 75 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:10,280 Speaker 1: what makes a person sick and tired of being sick 76 00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:12,280 Speaker 1: and tired is when their life is in a rut 77 00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:16,520 Speaker 1: and it's indulgence in its whole home and it's going nowhere. 78 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:19,560 Speaker 1: What usually puts a person's life into the sick and 79 00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:22,080 Speaker 1: tide of being sick and tired position, it's because they 80 00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:24,840 Speaker 1: don't have a road map. They don't have a plan, 81 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,320 Speaker 1: they don't have any dreams of visions. When you don't 82 00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:30,640 Speaker 1: have dreams of visions and you don't have a road map, 83 00:04:30,839 --> 00:04:34,160 Speaker 1: you don't have a map to where you're going in life. 84 00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:38,000 Speaker 1: This woman is going nowhere. Her whole life was tied 85 00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:42,359 Speaker 1: to this man. Now she's in a religion that does 86 00:04:42,440 --> 00:04:45,919 Speaker 1: not under the religion that I followed, divorce is not 87 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:51,320 Speaker 1: an option for me. Okay, see here's here's a crazy part. 88 00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:54,159 Speaker 1: Let me tell you something, lady, before I give you 89 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:58,560 Speaker 1: this answer. You need to get out of your religion 90 00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:05,360 Speaker 1: with God and get into a relationship with God. That's 91 00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:08,560 Speaker 1: a deeper understanding than a bunch of rules set up 92 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:14,320 Speaker 1: by men. Get into your relationship with God instead of you. See, 93 00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:18,480 Speaker 1: you're married to your religion, but what about your relationship 94 00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:21,159 Speaker 1: with God? So let's talk about this. So I don't 95 00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:24,360 Speaker 1: know your religion, so I'm not blasting at anything like that, 96 00:05:24,720 --> 00:05:26,880 Speaker 1: but you need to check your relationship with God, because 97 00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:29,279 Speaker 1: I gotta ask you a couple of questions. You believe 98 00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:31,440 Speaker 1: that God sent his man to you. That's what you 99 00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:34,719 Speaker 1: believe because basically, he didn't pressure you in the sleeper 100 00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:36,360 Speaker 1: with him for a year and you felt in your 101 00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:39,680 Speaker 1: heart to God sent you this man. Well, your husband 102 00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:42,279 Speaker 1: chose to leave your church, which is his right to 103 00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:44,479 Speaker 1: do if he wants, and he left me to move 104 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:48,280 Speaker 1: back in with his mama. M hm. He allowed your 105 00:05:48,279 --> 00:05:51,159 Speaker 1: house to get foreclosed, your car to be repossessed, and 106 00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:54,480 Speaker 1: took what was left in the bank. Then he moved 107 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:58,159 Speaker 1: a woman into his mama house with two kids, into 108 00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:00,839 Speaker 1: his mother's home. Mama ain't saying nothing about this. This 109 00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:04,599 Speaker 1: was cool with Mama. First of all, your man was 110 00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:06,880 Speaker 1: not a man in the beginning. I don't know what 111 00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:10,839 Speaker 1: your criteria for manhood is. But you're dating a boy. 112 00:06:11,279 --> 00:06:14,360 Speaker 1: You were married to a boy, Your boy. Now we 113 00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:18,760 Speaker 1: always remember this. Somebody just told it to me. Right boys, 114 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:25,000 Speaker 1: shock men build homes your boy just like the shock 115 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:27,320 Speaker 1: when y'all was at home. It wasn't even no good 116 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:29,599 Speaker 1: you've been You've been married to a boy for a 117 00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:32,000 Speaker 1: long time. Now this boy right here to move this 118 00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:33,719 Speaker 1: woman in with the two kids. You want to know 119 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:35,719 Speaker 1: in the letter, what kind of man takes care of 120 00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:38,560 Speaker 1: another woman and her kids but won't divorce the one 121 00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:40,800 Speaker 1: he's still legally bound to see. You make a lot 122 00:06:40,839 --> 00:06:44,000 Speaker 1: of misstatements in this letter. You mean, what type of 123 00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:47,640 Speaker 1: man takes care of another woman's kids but won't take 124 00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:50,760 Speaker 1: care of his kids. You keep harping on this divorce 125 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:53,760 Speaker 1: that your religions say you can't do, and then you 126 00:06:53,839 --> 00:06:57,159 Speaker 1: say in the letter you said, uh uh, I have 127 00:06:57,320 --> 00:07:00,279 Speaker 1: not moved on and I'm not dating anymore. But because 128 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:05,000 Speaker 1: like I said, my beliefs prevent me from prohibit me 129 00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:08,440 Speaker 1: from divorce. Okay, let's let's talk about your beliefs. Do 130 00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:12,080 Speaker 1: you believe it's okay to be treated this way? We're 131 00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:14,160 Speaker 1: talking about your beliefs in your religion, because I don't 132 00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:16,760 Speaker 1: know what religion makes it okay for you to be 133 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:20,440 Speaker 1: treated this way? Okay? Do you believe it's now your 134 00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:23,920 Speaker 1: duty to be stuck in a situation like this? Do 135 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:26,560 Speaker 1: you believe that because we're talking about your beliefs. Your 136 00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:30,400 Speaker 1: beliefs are your religion. So now once again, you need 137 00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:33,280 Speaker 1: to get out of your religion with God and get 138 00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:38,160 Speaker 1: into your relationship with God because your religion is contradicting 139 00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:42,400 Speaker 1: the morality of life itself. Okay, we have to go