1 00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:04,320 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if you need 2 00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:08,360 Speaker 1: advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. Please 3 00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:11,400 Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and 4 00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:15,120 Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter 5 00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:17,200 Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're going to read this. 6 00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:19,639 Speaker 1: When you hear it, it could be yours. You never know, 7 00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:23,079 Speaker 1: you never know. Buckle up and hold on tight. We 8 00:00:23,160 --> 00:00:25,639 Speaker 1: got it for you here. It is the Strawberry Letter. 9 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:29,920 Speaker 1: Thank you, nephew. Subject he's doing the job for now. 10 00:00:30,760 --> 00:00:33,800 Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm a forty seven year old divorce 11 00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:38,000 Speaker 1: female and I'm in need of advice. I'm in management 12 00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:41,400 Speaker 1: at my company and I own two properties and a boat. 13 00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:44,479 Speaker 1: I have two nice cars, and I'm very active in 14 00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:49,400 Speaker 1: my community with cherries, charities and civic organizations. After I 15 00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:52,279 Speaker 1: got a divorce, I've vowed to live my life on 16 00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:55,800 Speaker 1: my own terms and treat men as an option, not 17 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:59,200 Speaker 1: a necessity. My ex husband cheated on me and it 18 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:02,440 Speaker 1: made me bitter at first, but I moved past it. 19 00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:05,399 Speaker 1: What I was missing the most from being married for 20 00:01:05,480 --> 00:01:09,839 Speaker 1: nine years was the intimacy. I joined an online dating 21 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:12,840 Speaker 1: site to meet a man just for sex. I met 22 00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:15,880 Speaker 1: a guy that is forty one and never been married 23 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:19,839 Speaker 1: with no children. We have the same goal of casually 24 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:23,240 Speaker 1: hanging out and having sex. I had a full background 25 00:01:23,319 --> 00:01:25,200 Speaker 1: check done on him to make sure he was not 26 00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:28,600 Speaker 1: a serial killer, and on our first date, I paid 27 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:31,560 Speaker 1: for dinner because he said his account had been flagged 28 00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:34,840 Speaker 1: for fraudulent activity and it would take up to twenty 29 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:38,280 Speaker 1: four hours to reverse the charges. I didn't think anything 30 00:01:38,319 --> 00:01:41,800 Speaker 1: of it because I've had fraudulent charges before. My friends 31 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:44,760 Speaker 1: always say I have plenty of book sense but no 32 00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:48,000 Speaker 1: common sense, but I believe that people have good intentions 33 00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:51,640 Speaker 1: until they proved me wrong. Well, he's proven that he's 34 00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:56,000 Speaker 1: a shiftless bum with no real job, place to live, 35 00:01:56,360 --> 00:01:59,840 Speaker 1: or or his own car. What he does have going 36 00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:04,080 Speaker 1: for him is unbelievably good sex, and I get the 37 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:07,880 Speaker 1: full head to toe performance almost daily. The sex is 38 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:12,000 Speaker 1: so good it's clouded my judgment, and I started taking 39 00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:15,119 Speaker 1: him out to events with me. I don't think I'll 40 00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:18,040 Speaker 1: ever develop feelings for this man, but I do get 41 00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:21,320 Speaker 1: a little jealous if other women compliment him. Am I 42 00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:27,160 Speaker 1: playing a dangerous game and will end up hurt again? Listen, Listen, 43 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:32,600 Speaker 1: You're whipped. Okay, you're whipped. You're whipped, and you're probably 44 00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:35,280 Speaker 1: already in love with this guy. I mean, though you 45 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:38,000 Speaker 1: don't think you are, you probably are. That's why you say, well, 46 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,960 Speaker 1: I end up hurt again, because it's definitely you're not there. 47 00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:44,000 Speaker 1: You're headed in that direction. You're getting jealous of other 48 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:48,200 Speaker 1: women that compliment him, and you say your judgment is clouded. 49 00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:53,239 Speaker 1: You called him a shiftless bum, yet you're still sleeping 50 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:56,040 Speaker 1: with him and taking him to events with you. Now 51 00:02:57,280 --> 00:03:00,320 Speaker 1: your friends know it too, because they know you. And 52 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:03,000 Speaker 1: this is what happens when you blame all men for 53 00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:06,959 Speaker 1: your husband's cheating. Your husband is just one man. I mean, 54 00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:09,880 Speaker 1: don't put that on all men. I think that's why 55 00:03:09,919 --> 00:03:12,639 Speaker 1: you're where you are right now. I think you're scared 56 00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:16,840 Speaker 1: of your feelings for this guy. Because one man cheated 57 00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:19,280 Speaker 1: on you. You decided to shut your heart down, never 58 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:22,359 Speaker 1: be vulnerable or open again. And that's what you meant 59 00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:24,040 Speaker 1: when you said you're going to treat men as an 60 00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:27,120 Speaker 1: option and just have them for sex. Well, he's using 61 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:31,400 Speaker 1: you for more than that. Okay. He has no job, 62 00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:34,720 Speaker 1: he has no car, he has no home. Now Here 63 00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:36,920 Speaker 1: you are knowing that you're in the danger zone of 64 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:40,040 Speaker 1: falling in love with this guy with this shiftless bomb, 65 00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:44,680 Speaker 1: as you call him, because he gives you unbelievably good 66 00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:47,960 Speaker 1: sex every day again your words. Of course, you're gonna 67 00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:50,080 Speaker 1: start feeling some kind of way about him if you're 68 00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:52,800 Speaker 1: doing this every day and you know you guys are 69 00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:55,280 Speaker 1: kicking it and hanging out. It doesn't matter how many 70 00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:57,760 Speaker 1: material things you have, how much control you want to be. 71 00:03:58,120 --> 00:04:01,360 Speaker 1: You're a woman with real emotions and really real feelings. 72 00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:04,240 Speaker 1: Now for this shiftless bomb. That's why your friends say 73 00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:07,480 Speaker 1: you have no common sense. He's starting to break you 74 00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:10,960 Speaker 1: all the way down. What you should do is give 75 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,720 Speaker 1: yourself time to heal from the hurt of your marriage, 76 00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:17,359 Speaker 1: not blame all men and go from bad to worse. 77 00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:19,479 Speaker 1: You can't go from bad to worse. That's what you've 78 00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:26,800 Speaker 1: done with this shiftless bomb. Steve. Listen all the stuff 79 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:30,080 Speaker 1: Shirley said. It's fine. I agree with everything. Shirley said. 80 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:32,159 Speaker 1: I just want to break, to let it down. That's 81 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:34,960 Speaker 1: all I'm here for. I don't even kill I know 82 00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:40,200 Speaker 1: this letter, stupid town. Now you're forty seven year old 83 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:44,640 Speaker 1: divorce woman and you need advice. I'm in management at 84 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:49,880 Speaker 1: my company. I own two properties and a boat. To 85 00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:56,120 Speaker 1: assume that this boat happened doing the divorce. I know 86 00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:59,920 Speaker 1: very few women who go out by boats. I don't. 87 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:02,280 Speaker 1: I know very few that are some women who do it. 88 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,120 Speaker 1: I know a woman who owns a yacht that she 89 00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:09,119 Speaker 1: charters out, big yacht. It'd be over in the south 90 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:11,920 Speaker 1: of France and everywhere. As a matter of fact, I 91 00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:16,880 Speaker 1: know another woman that bought a yacht overseas. Two. But 92 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:20,479 Speaker 1: you ain't say yacht, you said boat. I'm thinking fishing boat, 93 00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:27,960 Speaker 1: ski boat, made the sea racer, dan Bridge, two nice cars. 94 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:31,719 Speaker 1: You're active in the community with charities and SIFICA. Well 95 00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:34,200 Speaker 1: after you got divorce. Now you've vowed to live your 96 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,880 Speaker 1: life and treat me in as an option, not in necessity. 97 00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:40,159 Speaker 1: That's your business. X has been cheated on me. You 98 00:05:40,279 --> 00:05:42,800 Speaker 1: was bitter at first, but you moved past it. And 99 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:45,000 Speaker 1: what you're missing most of all for nine years was 100 00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:49,559 Speaker 1: the intimacy. So you got online and you needed to 101 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:51,960 Speaker 1: meet a man. This is you now to meet a 102 00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:55,440 Speaker 1: man just for sex. I met a guy that's forty one, 103 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:59,479 Speaker 1: never been married, no children, had the same goals of 104 00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:02,200 Speaker 1: cash ually hanging out and having said now you'd have 105 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:05,400 Speaker 1: met somebody same goals as you, but now looking at it, 106 00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:07,800 Speaker 1: he ain't never been married, he ain't got no kids. 107 00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:11,839 Speaker 1: He foughty one here on the dating site. He looking 108 00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:14,920 Speaker 1: for guests. What same thing you looking for jess sex. 109 00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:19,400 Speaker 1: There you go. So now everything out to this letter 110 00:06:20,279 --> 00:06:25,720 Speaker 1: is stupid to me. Any complaints you have, any any 111 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:30,560 Speaker 1: any second guesses, any regrets, it don't mean nothing to 112 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:35,120 Speaker 1: me because you just said you joined the online dating 113 00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:37,520 Speaker 1: site to meet him man Jess for sex, and I 114 00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:39,919 Speaker 1: met him man forty one, ain't never been married, and 115 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,760 Speaker 1: he got the same goals for Kazmi hanging out and 116 00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:45,480 Speaker 1: having said come on shore. We'll have part two of 117 00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:48,520 Speaker 1: Steven's response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour. 118 00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:50,760 Speaker 1: He's doing the job for now as the subject. We'll 119 00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:54,520 Speaker 1: get back into it right after this. You're listening Steve 120 00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:57,880 Speaker 1: Harty Morning Show. All right, come on, Steve, let's recap 121 00:06:57,920 --> 00:07:00,799 Speaker 1: today's Strawberry letter of the subject he's doing the job 122 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:06,320 Speaker 1: for now. Well, you know, here we go. Forty seven 123 00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:10,960 Speaker 1: year old divorce woman need advice. She got some properties 124 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:14,480 Speaker 1: in the boat too, nice calls active in the community 125 00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:18,240 Speaker 1: with charities and civic organization. Sound like a real together woman, 126 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:22,160 Speaker 1: and you vowed after divorce to live your own terms 127 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:24,680 Speaker 1: and treat me in as an option out in necessity that, 128 00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:27,880 Speaker 1: like I said, that's your BIS. My ex husband cheated 129 00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:29,360 Speaker 1: on me and I was bid at first, but I 130 00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:31,640 Speaker 1: moved past it. The only thing you missed was nine 131 00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:35,280 Speaker 1: years of intimacy, So in order to fix that, you 132 00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:38,280 Speaker 1: joined an online dating site to meet a man. Here's 133 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:41,640 Speaker 1: the key to this whole letter, y'all went online dating 134 00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:45,840 Speaker 1: site to meet a man just for sex. I met 135 00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:50,480 Speaker 1: a guy that is forty one, never been married, no children, 136 00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:54,000 Speaker 1: and we have the same goal of casually hanging out 137 00:07:54,320 --> 00:08:00,679 Speaker 1: and having sex. So now mission accomplished. Every anything else 138 00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:05,960 Speaker 1: in this letter is of mute point. Why are you 139 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:11,960 Speaker 1: still typing? Moot? I like the mute because you're quick 140 00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:17,640 Speaker 1: talking to me moot. I don't know what that means, 141 00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:24,400 Speaker 1: so I always mute, like stop talking side. But anyway, 142 00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:26,360 Speaker 1: you want to come up and in talk about this 143 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:28,680 Speaker 1: about you all this, So now everything out to this 144 00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:30,880 Speaker 1: that don't make no sense to me, So here we go. 145 00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:34,160 Speaker 1: Let's make no sense. I did a full background check 146 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:36,199 Speaker 1: on and make sure he was not a serial killer. 147 00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:41,640 Speaker 1: That's easy. Well, got that way, he ain't killed nobody, 148 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:46,439 Speaker 1: come on over to my house. So you did that 149 00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:49,320 Speaker 1: on our first date, right after you found out he 150 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:52,480 Speaker 1: wasn't a serial killer. On our first date, I paid 151 00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:55,400 Speaker 1: for dinner because he said his account had been flagged 152 00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:58,400 Speaker 1: from fraudulent activity and we would take up to twenty 153 00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:02,040 Speaker 1: four hours to reverse the charge. He ain't got dinner money. 154 00:09:02,679 --> 00:09:06,600 Speaker 1: All his money on that card right there. He can't 155 00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:09,120 Speaker 1: pay for dinner. But he can't pay for dinner. Y'all 156 00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:11,760 Speaker 1: agreed just to have sex, but he didn't bring no 157 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:14,560 Speaker 1: money for that. Now I pay for dinner because he 158 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:17,480 Speaker 1: said his account had been flagged for fraudulent activity and 159 00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:20,120 Speaker 1: it would take up twenty four hours to research shot. 160 00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:22,679 Speaker 1: You believe it. I didn't think anything of it because 161 00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:27,560 Speaker 1: I've had fraudulent charges before. Yeah you have, but I 162 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:31,760 Speaker 1: bet you still had money to eat. Okay. My friends 163 00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:34,360 Speaker 1: always say I got plenty of books since, but no conversation. 164 00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:37,760 Speaker 1: You don't. But I believe that people have good intentions 165 00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:40,480 Speaker 1: and they prove me wrong. No, No, that's not the 166 00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:43,280 Speaker 1: way you should live. You're a lady, and you gotta 167 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:47,439 Speaker 1: take a different approach. I am carefully listening to you 168 00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:52,680 Speaker 1: with reservations and caution until you show me that I 169 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:56,840 Speaker 1: have no reason to be cautious. That's the approach in 170 00:09:56,920 --> 00:09:59,440 Speaker 1: this modern falling world that we live in for women. 171 00:09:59,679 --> 00:10:02,400 Speaker 1: You don't go in believe in everything. Anybody tell you 172 00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:08,000 Speaker 1: what in this falling world you have no business talking about. 173 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:10,920 Speaker 1: I believe what. People have good intentions as they prove 174 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:13,679 Speaker 1: me wrong. No, I am listening to you with a 175 00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:18,280 Speaker 1: cautious ear, with my ears pinback, and I am listening 176 00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:21,040 Speaker 1: and waiting on you to prove to me that I 177 00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:24,679 Speaker 1: can relax and let my guard down. Until then they up. 178 00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:31,760 Speaker 1: Duke's up, all right, Well he's proving that he's a 179 00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:35,760 Speaker 1: shiftless bum with no real job or place to live 180 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:40,200 Speaker 1: or his own car. Well, you said you were just 181 00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:43,360 Speaker 1: looking for a man to have sex. You didn't have 182 00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:46,720 Speaker 1: none of these requirements. You asked just for sex. You 183 00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:54,040 Speaker 1: ain't looking for security, maturity, financially stable, trustworthy, what none 184 00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:57,240 Speaker 1: of that in your dating profile? Who are here? Won't 185 00:10:57,400 --> 00:11:06,200 Speaker 1: have sex? That's it? You gonna just went on tender. 186 00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:11,880 Speaker 1: You gotta just swipe rash white left. See, you got 187 00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:14,440 Speaker 1: what you asked for him. He ain't got his own car, 188 00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:17,480 Speaker 1: But what does he have going for him is unbelievable 189 00:11:17,520 --> 00:11:20,280 Speaker 1: good sex, and I get the forehead to two performance 190 00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:24,600 Speaker 1: almost daily. Well, that's people that ain't working because they're 191 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:29,040 Speaker 1: really good. That's it. They had time. Some of my 192 00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:33,079 Speaker 1: performances ain't that good because I'd be tied. Huh hello, 193 00:11:33,559 --> 00:11:37,960 Speaker 1: Why because I got a bunch of damn jobs. But 194 00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:43,400 Speaker 1: Dexter sitting around on his ass all day? Yeah? He ready, 195 00:11:45,679 --> 00:11:47,839 Speaker 1: you get a whole head to toe. He ain't done 196 00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:50,760 Speaker 1: nothing else all damn day long. He ain't got a car. 197 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:54,920 Speaker 1: So now the sex is so good that it clouded 198 00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:58,120 Speaker 1: my judgment, and I started taking him out to events 199 00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:01,280 Speaker 1: with me. I don't I don't think I'll ever develop 200 00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:06,160 Speaker 1: feelings for this man. You're stupid, you already have. Your 201 00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:10,200 Speaker 1: judgment is clouded. You're taking a loser around with you. 202 00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:12,040 Speaker 1: You're taking them to company Vince. He don't even know 203 00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:17,080 Speaker 1: how to spell company. But I do get a little 204 00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:20,040 Speaker 1: jealous when other men, other women compliment him. Am I 205 00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:22,760 Speaker 1: playing a dangerous game? And what I end up hurt? 206 00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:26,920 Speaker 1: You already know what it is headed you. It's hard 207 00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:30,120 Speaker 1: to have good sex and then don't feel nothing for nobody, 208 00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:33,079 Speaker 1: because if you release these chemicals in your body, I 209 00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:37,120 Speaker 1: don't know what forgot what they call and dolphins and 210 00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,880 Speaker 1: something else. Start with the older women have and once 211 00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:43,600 Speaker 1: you release that, you feel something for this man. I 212 00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:47,280 Speaker 1: don't know what the oxy cotton, oxymen, you know what? 213 00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:52,480 Speaker 1: All right? We got you keep sleeping with this man. 214 00:12:52,559 --> 00:13:01,400 Speaker 1: It's hard. You're gonna lease an oxy cotta at Steve 215 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:05,120 Speaker 1: Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook. Okay, coming up at 216 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:08,000 Speaker 1: forty six after the hour, our girl Cheryl Underwood. Right 217 00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:11,679 Speaker 1: after this, you're listening to the Stave Harvey Morning Show