Speaker 1: Hey guys, it's Andre Gunning. A few weeks ago, we
Speaker 1: put a call out for your listener essays. We wanted
Speaker 1: to hear from you about resilience after a devastating betrayal,
Speaker 1: and we received so many incredible essays submissions. So for
Speaker 1: this episode, we're going to feature the first of two
Speaker 1: listener essays that really moved me. This one is written
Speaker 1: and read by a listener named Melissa.
Speaker 2: Pain has been both my burden and my teacher, breaking
Speaker 2: me open in ways I never wanted and shaping me
Speaker 2: into someone I never expected to become. As a teenager,
Speaker 2: my world fractured in an instant. My father, my anchor,
Speaker 2: was ripped away, not by death, but by his own betrayal.
Speaker 2: He was sent to prison for raping a teenage girl.
Speaker 2: The man I looked to for protection became the reason
Speaker 2: I no longer felt safe or sure of who I was.
Speaker 2: It wasn't just the act he committed, it was the
Speaker 2: way it shattered everything I thought I knew about love, trust,
Speaker 2: and family. That wound didn't heal. It seeped into the
Speaker 2: fabric of my life, dictating the person I became. The
Speaker 2: echoes of that betrayal followed me like shadows, coloring every
Speaker 2: decision I made, lingering over my shoulder and even scaring
Speaker 2: away some who learn the truth in my desperate need
Speaker 2: to find stability, to build a life that felt whole.
Speaker 2: I married a man who was battling his own demons.
Speaker 2: He was a secret addict and an alcoholic, someone who
Speaker 2: hid his pain while drowning it in substances. When I
Speaker 2: learned of his struggle, I thought I could save him.
Speaker 2: I believe that what I went through early on would
Speaker 2: give me the strength to push through. Maybe, deep down
Speaker 2: I thought saving him would somehow redeem the parts of
Speaker 2: my life I couldn't. But love cannot survive where it
Speaker 2: is consumed by unrelenting chaos. We bore a son together,
Speaker 2: my saving grace. I stayed with my husband until I
Speaker 2: couldn't anymore. The strength to leave DA didn't come all
Speaker 2: at once. It came in fragments, small moments of clarity,
Speaker 2: of exhaustion, and finally, after a friend reminded me of
Speaker 2: my strength, I was given a new understanding that trying
Speaker 2: to save him would mean losing myself. Walking away was
Speaker 2: one of the hardest things I'd ever done. It meant
Speaker 2: accepting that I couldn't fix everything. It meant carrying the
Speaker 2: weight of yet another failure, another loss, another broken family.
Speaker 2: But leaving wasn't the end. It was the beginning. Pain
Speaker 2: has a way of carving you hollow, but it also
Speaker 2: creates space, space to grow, to rebuild, to transform. Slowly,
Speaker 2: I began to see my pain for what it was,
Speaker 2: a relentless teacher showing me how to live with open
Speaker 2: eyes and an open heart. The wounds I carry, though deep,
Speaker 2: have given me something unexpected, the ability to see what
Speaker 2: others try to hide. I see the hurt in those
Speaker 2: around me, the silent struggles, the stories etched into their eyes.
Speaker 2: And when I meet someone who is carrying this pain,
Speaker 2: I've learned to love them through their own traumas, through
Speaker 2: their own burdens of guilt and feelings of unworthiness. Raising
Speaker 2: my son has been my greatest redemption. Every day I
Speaker 2: strive to teach him the things life has taught me.
Speaker 2: To be kind even when it's hard, to be strong
Speaker 2: but never unfeeling, to hold compassion as his compass, and
Speaker 2: to walk through life in a way that brings light
Speaker 2: to a dark world. He is my proof that something
Speaker 2: beautiful can rise from the ashes of a broken past.
Speaker 2: I've chosen to live with curiosity instead of judgment, to
Speaker 2: approach others not with condemnation, but with a desire to understand.
Speaker 2: Everyone carries their own wounds, their own betrayals, their own burdens.
Speaker 2: I've found that sharing our traumas creates a mutual trust,
Speaker 2: allowing us to release the weight of that burden together.
Speaker 2: My pain has taught me to find beauty and the
Speaker 2: shattered pieces, to see the sunbeams that filter through the
Speaker 2: dark clouds. It has taught me that even in brokenness
Speaker 2: there is grace, and even in hurt, there is healing.
Speaker 2: The journey hasn't been easy. There are still days when
Speaker 2: the weight of it all feels unbearable, when the memories
Speaker 2: rise like tides and threaten to drown me, when I'm
Speaker 2: reminded how the family I once had is no longer.
Speaker 2: But I've learned to let those waves come, to let
Speaker 2: them crash over me without pulling me under. I've learned
Speaker 2: to stand in the storm and let it pass. If
Speaker 2: pain has taught me anything it's that we are all
Speaker 2: broken in some way. But brokenness is not the end
Speaker 2: of the story. It is in the cracks where the
Speaker 2: light shines through. It is in the healing that we
Speaker 2: find purpose. My pain has become my strength, my compass,
Speaker 2: my gift. It has taught me to love, to forgive,
Speaker 2: and to see beauty where others see ruined. I've transformed
Speaker 2: my hurt into healing, not just for myself, but for
Speaker 2: those who cross my path. I give my time to
Speaker 2: those who need it most, offering compassion and a listening
Speaker 2: ear to those who have also been broken by life.
Speaker 2: I share my story, not knowing how it will be received,
Speaker 2: but trusting in the power of vulnerability. Time and again,
Speaker 2: I've found that sharing creates a connection, a reminder that
Speaker 2: none of us walk this path alone. I've chosen to
Speaker 2: live with an open heart, welcoming the messiness of life
Speaker 2: and finding grace and peace within it. My pain will
Speaker 2: always be a part of me, etched into who I am,
Speaker 2: but it no longer holds me captive. Instead, it has
Speaker 2: shaped me into someone stronger, someone free, someone who can
Speaker 2: rise from the ashes and be an example and encouragement
Speaker 2: for others to do the same.
Speaker 1: When we come back, our producer talks with Melissa about
Speaker 1: her writing process, and stay tuned until the end of
Speaker 1: the episode, when we'll be sharing the theme of our
Speaker 1: next listener essay.
Speaker 3: I'm going to.
Speaker 1: Hand it over to our producer Mo, who talked with
Speaker 1: Melissa for this episode.
Speaker 3: Can you tell me a little bit about the process
Speaker 3: of writing this What did that look like.
Speaker 2: I was listening to the podcast while I was sitting
Speaker 2: in the waiting room of the passport office, and I
Speaker 2: had about forty five minutes, and I heard right at
Speaker 2: the beginning of the podcast that you guys were doing
Speaker 2: this essay submission, and I was like, you know what,
Speaker 2: I've got time, I'm going to do it now. And
Speaker 2: I just sat there and I just started thinking about
Speaker 2: my pain and thinking about how it's affected me in
Speaker 2: good ways and bad, and I just started writing in
Speaker 2: my notes on my phone and just kept rereading it
Speaker 2: and editing it, rereading it and editing it. Honestly, I
Speaker 2: wanted it to be more about the healing than the pain,
Speaker 2: because I spent so much of my life focusing so
Speaker 2: much on what the trauma was. And I always thought,
Speaker 2: you know, there's going to be a light at the
Speaker 2: end of the tunnel. I'm going to look back in
Speaker 2: twenty years and I'm going to see how much good
Speaker 2: this did in my life, and honestly, that's not the case.
Speaker 2: More often than not, the trauma that I went through
Speaker 2: was just all encompassing and the pain was debilitating a
Speaker 2: lot of times. That's definitely like the inner voice, right, Like,
Speaker 2: every time I share it, I'm like, do I really
Speaker 2: need to share this? Does somebody really want to hear this?
Speaker 2: It really can mess with what you think about yourself,
Speaker 2: and so I really wanted that to be what this
Speaker 2: essay was about. It's really not about coming out on
Speaker 2: the other side and like, Oh, the trauma's gone and
Speaker 2: we're all good and everything's fine. I mean, I'm sure
Speaker 2: you guys hear it a lot from people emailing you
Speaker 2: in like, wow, this story was incredible, and this was
Speaker 2: so helpful for me. But there's so many people that
Speaker 2: are not writing in that are feeling the same thing.
Speaker 2: So as I was sitting and writing it, it was
Speaker 2: very important to me that I focus on the aspect
Speaker 2: of using this trauma for good and yeah, when you
Speaker 2: do share it with other people really does create this
Speaker 2: amazing connection. Like I feel like as humans, if we
Speaker 2: did a lot more of this sharing that it would
Speaker 2: heal a lot of very broken people.
Speaker 3: I wonder what your encouragement would be for people who
Speaker 3: are listening who might want to share their story.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think in my experience, both in my professional
Speaker 2: career and in my personal life, I've come across so
Speaker 2: many people who feel that they're not able to do
Speaker 2: something that they want to do. A lot of it,
Speaker 2: like with imposter syndrome, is just like you know, you
Speaker 2: don't think you're good enough for people aren't going to
Speaker 2: take it the right way, or it's not I'm not
Speaker 2: going to say you have the right words. And honestly,
Speaker 2: the only way that I was able to do this
Speaker 2: was just to spit it all out on paper and
Speaker 2: send it. I probably spent less than an hour in
Speaker 2: total in writing, editing, and then just hitting the s
Speaker 2: in button. And some of that for me was just
Speaker 2: getting the words out on paper and wanting to get
Speaker 2: rid of them, you know, like I've put this down
Speaker 2: and I need it to be out of my hands.
Speaker 3: Wow, our whole team is really grateful that you wrote
Speaker 3: in and shared this with us and shared everything you've
Speaker 3: learned in this essay.
Speaker 2: It really means a lot that you guys asked me
Speaker 2: to do it. I was honestly very shocked when I
Speaker 2: saw that email like, oh my gosh, not only did
Speaker 2: they read it, but they want me. But I am
Speaker 2: very very I'm very very thankful to your team and
Speaker 2: everything that you guys do because it really is important.
Speaker 2: So please don't stop.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening, and thank you to
Speaker 1: the incredible listeners who wrote in to share their essays
Speaker 1: on the theme of resilience. We were so moved by
Speaker 1: your submissions that were bringing you more of these listener essays,
Speaker 1: and our next theme will be the moment everything changed.
Speaker 1: Set the scene, take us back to that memory. Describe
Speaker 1: the feelings and thoughts you had in the moment when
Speaker 1: everything changed for you. The limit is a thousand words.
Speaker 1: If your story stands out, it might be featured in
Speaker 1: a bonus episode. Please save your submission as a PDF
Speaker 1: and email it to Betrayalpod at gmail dot com. If
Speaker 1: you would like to reach out to the Betrayal team
Speaker 1: or want to tell us your betrayal story, email us
Speaker 1: at betrayalpod at gmail dot com. That's Betrayal Pod at
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. We're grateful for your support. One way
Speaker 1: to show support is by subscribing to our show on
Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts and don't forget to rate and review Betrayal.
Speaker 1: Five star reviews go a long way, a big thank
Speaker 1: you to all of our listeners. Betrayal is a production
Speaker 1: of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group and
Speaker 1: partnership with iHeart Podcasts. The show is executive produced by
Speaker 1: Nancy Glass and Jennifer Fason, hosted and produced by me
Speaker 1: Andrea Gunning, written and produced by Monique Leboard, also produced
Speaker 1: by Ben Fetterman. Associate producers are Kristin Mercury and Caitlin Golden.
Speaker 1: Our iHeart teams Ali Perry and Jessica Krincheck. Audio editing
Speaker 1: and mixing by Matt del Vecchio, Additional editing support from
Speaker 1: Tanner Robbins. Betrayal's theme composed by Oliver Bains. Music library
Speaker 1: provided by my Music and For more podcasts from iHeart,
Speaker 1: visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get
Speaker 1: your podcasts.