1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,240 Speaker 1: Buggle up, hold on time. We got it by you 2 00:00:02,360 --> 00:00:07,040 Speaker 1: the Strawberry letter subject he's pulling out tracks and giving 3 00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:11,080 Speaker 1: me whiplash. Here, Stephen Shirley. I'm in a new relationship 4 00:00:11,160 --> 00:00:14,640 Speaker 1: and about two months ago we started our sexual adventures. 5 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:18,200 Speaker 1: He is an amazing man in and out of bed. 6 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:21,160 Speaker 1: I am twenty eight years old and he's ten years 7 00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:24,239 Speaker 1: older than I am. I love our relationship, but I 8 00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:28,240 Speaker 1: have one major issue. He likes to pull my hair. 9 00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:31,640 Speaker 1: To be more specific, he likes to pull my weed 10 00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:35,519 Speaker 1: while we're being intimate. A couple of nights ago, he 11 00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:38,720 Speaker 1: pulled my hair so hard that my scalp was on 12 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:41,920 Speaker 1: fire the next day and I had whiplash for the 13 00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:46,120 Speaker 1: past two days. Before bringing it doing it my darn 14 00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:49,639 Speaker 1: neck hurds. I will admit that when he's messed up 15 00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:52,239 Speaker 1: my hair or loosened up one of my tracks, he 16 00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:56,360 Speaker 1: had no problem paying for my next install. I'm not 17 00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:58,920 Speaker 1: one of those girls that is into rough love making 18 00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:01,440 Speaker 1: and kinky stuff in a bedroom, and I feel like 19 00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:05,280 Speaker 1: hair pulling may be just the beginning. He is amazing 20 00:01:05,319 --> 00:01:07,319 Speaker 1: in bed, so I don't want him to stop what 21 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,000 Speaker 1: he's doing. I just want him to be more gentle. 22 00:01:10,319 --> 00:01:12,960 Speaker 1: How should I bring this up to him without offending him. 23 00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:15,399 Speaker 1: I don't want him to think I can't handle myself 24 00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:18,880 Speaker 1: in the bedroom, especially since I'm younger. I also don't 25 00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:22,399 Speaker 1: want sex to be boring for him. But he's hurting me, 26 00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:27,040 Speaker 1: plane and simple. The hair pulling needs to stop immediately. 27 00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:31,160 Speaker 1: How should I tell him? Please help? So many things 28 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:34,200 Speaker 1: wrong in this letter, but the number one thing for 29 00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:37,479 Speaker 1: me meant, come on, now, you know you cannot mess 30 00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:40,960 Speaker 1: with the black woman's hair in or out of bed. Okay, 31 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:44,360 Speaker 1: those are the rules. I believe that is in the Bible. Uh. 32 00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:49,480 Speaker 1: You know we spend countless in the salon. We spend 33 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:53,520 Speaker 1: countless hours in the salon waiting a long, long, long 34 00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:55,440 Speaker 1: time for our turn in the chair. This is what 35 00:01:55,560 --> 00:01:58,120 Speaker 1: we go through. Okay, not to mention, we have to 36 00:01:58,120 --> 00:02:00,480 Speaker 1: go by the hair store. We have to all all 37 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:04,040 Speaker 1: these bundles back to the shop, sit patiently for the 38 00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:08,560 Speaker 1: install even sometimes take meds because the pain of the 39 00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:11,640 Speaker 1: braids underneath the weave are too tight. We lose our 40 00:02:11,919 --> 00:02:16,440 Speaker 1: edges dealing with these weaves. So listen for your man 41 00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:21,919 Speaker 1: to be pulling your hair, sometimes, pulling your tracks out 42 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:26,200 Speaker 1: and stuff. That's a lot going on who cares if 43 00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:29,040 Speaker 1: he pays for the next install, for your next deployment. 44 00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:32,000 Speaker 1: We don't care about that your scalp, your head is 45 00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:35,640 Speaker 1: on fire. Sex should never be that uncomfortable, all right. 46 00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:38,320 Speaker 1: I gotta tell you that it should never be that uncomfortable. 47 00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:41,280 Speaker 1: It should never be hurtful. It should never cause you 48 00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:44,399 Speaker 1: any pain like that. So forget about not wanting him 49 00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:47,200 Speaker 1: to think you can't handle yourself in bed because you're young. 50 00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:51,040 Speaker 1: That's not what's important here. Think about yourself, how you feel, 51 00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:53,560 Speaker 1: and what you want. And you have a voice and 52 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:56,000 Speaker 1: you need to use it. Okay, tell him that you 53 00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:59,600 Speaker 1: enjoy sex with him. He's amazing. But this hair pulling stuff, 54 00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:02,720 Speaker 1: it has to stop. It really hurts you, and you 55 00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:06,200 Speaker 1: would like it to stop immediately because of the whip lash. Okay, 56 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:12,000 Speaker 1: you can't go through life like that. It's not that serious. Steve, Well, 57 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:15,359 Speaker 1: you better make me proud I am, because I don't 58 00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:21,880 Speaker 1: know what she's covered all the hair object. I just 59 00:03:21,919 --> 00:03:24,120 Speaker 1: probably need to get to what you need to know. 60 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:28,960 Speaker 1: A little girl, you're messing with this grown man now. 61 00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:31,160 Speaker 1: In your letter, you said a couple of nights ago 62 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:34,520 Speaker 1: and pulled my hair so hard my scout was on fire. 63 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:38,080 Speaker 1: The next day, I have whip lash for past two days, 64 00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:41,440 Speaker 1: my damn neck hurt. I would admit that when he's 65 00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:44,400 Speaker 1: messed up my hair and loosing up my tracks, he 66 00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:48,280 Speaker 1: had no problem paying for my next install. I'm not 67 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:51,880 Speaker 1: one of them girls just into rough love making and 68 00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:55,680 Speaker 1: kinky stuff in the bedroom. And here's the key line. 69 00:03:56,360 --> 00:04:03,800 Speaker 1: And I feel like hair pulling may just be the beginning. Well, 70 00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:05,800 Speaker 1: I'm here to clear this part of the letter up. 71 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:10,000 Speaker 1: It is just the beginning. Oh, it's more where that 72 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:13,040 Speaker 1: comes from. So y'all just been at trying to see 73 00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:15,600 Speaker 1: how you're handling the hair pullet. Now you all have 74 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:18,200 Speaker 1: been crying in the letter, tell about your neck hurt 75 00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:22,360 Speaker 1: and you got whipped. Oh it's more coming. Oh it's more. 76 00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:26,760 Speaker 1: It's it's way more that hair pulling is in the beginning, 77 00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:30,200 Speaker 1: the beginning. If you got you go, let me tell 78 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:34,600 Speaker 1: your list of stuff that's coming. Neck choking connects. Neck 79 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:38,720 Speaker 1: choking is in here. This's what you think. Yeah, yeah, hammeleocks. 80 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:42,039 Speaker 1: You're gonna be in a hammeleck You're gonna get loved 81 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:44,680 Speaker 1: on your wrist up by the by the baby, basic 82 00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:51,680 Speaker 1: your scollers. It's gonna be ankle, bending your ankle. It's 83 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:58,200 Speaker 1: gonna be behind your neck. I hope you're ready. Oh listen, 84 00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:02,360 Speaker 1: you're sending up here talking about you findn't get Holy Field. 85 00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:05,600 Speaker 1: You don't get one of your damn here took off? 86 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:10,520 Speaker 1: Oh the hell pulling, it's just the beginning there. You 87 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:13,760 Speaker 1: don't like or session. He's just trying to see how 88 00:05:13,839 --> 00:05:16,240 Speaker 1: you held it. He paying for installs. He's gonna have 89 00:05:16,279 --> 00:05:18,520 Speaker 1: to be praying for teeth and lips, just though you're 90 00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:21,640 Speaker 1: gonna have to get your face restruct you this boyfriend 91 00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:23,520 Speaker 1: come in here and do some banging you ain't really 92 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:28,880 Speaker 1: familiar with. Also, there's gonna be some tongue in helln see, 93 00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:32,719 Speaker 1: you haven't been in here, and Shelly, I don't expect 94 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:35,680 Speaker 1: you to like my response. Now you've done all the 95 00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:40,040 Speaker 1: little hat comments. This ain't about Hell. This is about 96 00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:44,160 Speaker 1: this could get a little more different. And obviously you're 97 00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:46,880 Speaker 1: gonna sit there and act like you're unfamiliar with this. 98 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:50,800 Speaker 1: But you all have had a man in hell your 99 00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:55,840 Speaker 1: tongue before, Yes you have. If you haven't, you miss it. 100 00:05:55,880 --> 00:06:05,080 Speaker 1: It's actually good in Hell. I got a lot of them. 101 00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:08,240 Speaker 1: I'm just trying to get to him. You're gonna end 102 00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:11,480 Speaker 1: up getting bent and twisted. It's gonna you had to 103 00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:15,000 Speaker 1: go to contorta school to continue relationship with this man 104 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:16,720 Speaker 1: right here. You had to get into some type of 105 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:21,080 Speaker 1: circus training. If you're gonna stay with this man right here. 106 00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:25,480 Speaker 1: Certain the so late our strongly, Si, you take something 107 00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:28,600 Speaker 1: like yoga, you definitely gotta get it called downward dog 108 00:06:28,839 --> 00:06:33,480 Speaker 1: is coming, down dog, Gloria stands is coming well? Part 109 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:39,280 Speaker 1: two response coming? All right, Steve, come on, let's go 110 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:45,480 Speaker 1: with part two of your response. Should because of the 111 00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:48,760 Speaker 1: level of intensity that this man is able to go 112 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:52,560 Speaker 1: into now with all this hairtrack pulling, She's afraid that 113 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:55,800 Speaker 1: this is the beginning. She don't like rough sex. I 114 00:06:55,920 --> 00:07:01,240 Speaker 1: don't either. I don't like pain in my game. But 115 00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:03,760 Speaker 1: you're gonna have to get another man because he do pay, 116 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:05,800 Speaker 1: because after he hurts you, he want to pay for 117 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:10,680 Speaker 1: You're gonna you're gonna mess around here. One of your 118 00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:15,120 Speaker 1: little nostrils told it ain't don't tell what's gonna happen? Yeah, 119 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:18,200 Speaker 1: you I put out you. You probably need to leave 120 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:21,640 Speaker 1: this man right now unless you do like I'm telling 121 00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:24,560 Speaker 1: you to do and get into some type of circus training. 122 00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:27,800 Speaker 1: Get you a neck put in your backyard and a 123 00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:32,080 Speaker 1: trap piece. Practice, get a trampoline because he's gonna dive 124 00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:35,920 Speaker 1: off of something. You're gonna want to know how to handle. 125 00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:39,480 Speaker 1: There's something that I strongly suggest that you don started 126 00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:44,080 Speaker 1: doing at the jim. Try to do toe thrust because 127 00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:47,840 Speaker 1: it'll help you to give you escaping powers. You can 128 00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:50,440 Speaker 1: get away better. You gotta strengthen your toes so when 129 00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:53,040 Speaker 1: he's coming towards you, you can toe thrust. Be right 130 00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:56,120 Speaker 1: apout the way. It's things like that that you want 131 00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:59,840 Speaker 1: to do. And you know, uh, there's a lot of stuff. 132 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:03,160 Speaker 1: Why to lose some weight. I don't know what size 133 00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:05,320 Speaker 1: you are, No, a matter of fact, I take that back. 134 00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:08,280 Speaker 1: Gain some weight so you can handle it better. Put 135 00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:11,040 Speaker 1: some weight on. Be heavy that way, all that tossing 136 00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:15,080 Speaker 1: is limited. That's the beautiful thing about full figure women. 137 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:17,280 Speaker 1: They're really fine and all with it. They got what 138 00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:19,720 Speaker 1: you won't. You know, you just gotta handle them different. 139 00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:22,600 Speaker 1: You hand him wrong, you mess around and get handled, 140 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:25,400 Speaker 1: and maybe that's what you need to. Just put on 141 00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:27,640 Speaker 1: some weight for his ass. And next time he coming 142 00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:29,360 Speaker 1: there with all that hair pulling, you turn around, pull 143 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:33,160 Speaker 1: his hair, get in the gym. You get in the 144 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:35,040 Speaker 1: gym and get your upper body right. So when he 145 00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:37,400 Speaker 1: pulled your hair, you pull his hair. Whatever he do you, 146 00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:39,959 Speaker 1: you do the same thing. Then if he ain't ball headed, 147 00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:46,440 Speaker 1: pull some my hair from somewhere. Now, how you like that? Yeah, 148 00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:56,440 Speaker 1: put his eyebrows out, that's very plug his eyebrows, Grab 149 00:08:56,559 --> 00:08:59,000 Speaker 1: a mustads hair and pull it out. I'll tell you 150 00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:02,280 Speaker 1: right now to put enough, pull out some nose hair, 151 00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:08,959 Speaker 1: good time. And that's what I think you should do that. 152 00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:12,120 Speaker 1: That's my response to the metis showing the covered all 153 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:15,559 Speaker 1: the stuff about the hair. I don't I don't have 154 00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:20,400 Speaker 1: no hair. I don't know what. But you've had hair before. 155 00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:25,840 Speaker 1: You half a hair, right, you got he pulling your hair, 156 00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:28,680 Speaker 1: you pull his head, You bite your tongue, you bite 157 00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:32,560 Speaker 1: his tongue. I'll just be in there bleed. I thought 158 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:34,439 Speaker 1: all women had to hair tied up when they come 159 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:46,240 Speaker 1: to be come would have to be tied up. No 160 00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:53,719 Speaker 1: count of no, no coun of all Right, Steve, we 161 00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:56,480 Speaker 1: gotta get out of here. Email us your Instagram. That's 162 00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:59,800 Speaker 1: your thoughts on today's Strawberry letter at my girls, Shirley, 163 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:03,680 Speaker 1: out of this one long. It's all good it's all good. 164 00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:08,079 Speaker 1: Remember to submit your letters to Steve Harvey f M. 165 00:10:08,559 --> 00:10:12,640 Speaker 1: Click on submit Strawberry Letter. Okay, you're listening to the 166 00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:14,200 Speaker 1: Steve Harvey Morning Show.