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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Jonnas is Sam your og Okay Storytime

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Speaker 1: podcast hosts.

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Speaker 2: We have some great stories coming.

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Speaker 3: Up, but before that, we have a quick two minute

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Speaker 3: break from the sponsors that keep the show alive. My

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Speaker 3: best friend is exhausting me. I can't handle her anymore.

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Speaker 4: To get her out of there.

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Speaker 1: She get her out of there. It's too hard to handle. Oh,

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Speaker 1: am exhausted.

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Speaker 3: Oh this is gonna be a long one since I

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Speaker 3: need to explain everything so I don't seem like a

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Speaker 3: booty cheek for dropping her for quote no reason. Names

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Speaker 3: are replaced for privacy, and I'd rather her not see this.

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Speaker 3: I female twenty two, met Jane female twenty one on

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Speaker 3: our first day of high school. She was much more

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Speaker 3: extroverted than I was, and I had just moved to

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Speaker 3: a new city, so I was desperate for friends. We

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Speaker 3: weren't very close for freshman year. I had another good friend,

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Speaker 3: but she graduated, and once she did, Jane and I

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Speaker 3: became close. This comes from user bloody Socks on the

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Speaker 3: r slash Okay Storytime subreddit lofty selps. So we were

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Speaker 3: extremely close throughout the rest of high school, to the

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Speaker 3: point where I'd come confidently say she was my best friend.

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Speaker 1: She was with me through a lot.

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Speaker 3: Of difficult things with my mom and through some deaths

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Speaker 3: in her family. She and I needed each other at

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Speaker 3: the time. We mostly bonded over the extremely difficult stuff. However,

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Speaker 3: after we graduated nearly four years ago now, Jane moved

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Speaker 3: out of state, we grew apart. She had a job

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Speaker 3: now and so did I. I still considered her a

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Speaker 3: close friend, but seeing as we only talked once a

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Speaker 3: week or so, it's not like either of us made

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Speaker 3: much effort to remain close. It's not her fault or mine.

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Speaker 3: Distance puts a strain on any relationship, and we were

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Speaker 3: both just so busy. For the brief times that we

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Speaker 3: did talk, most of it consisted of her complaining about

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Speaker 3: one thing or another. I felt more like her therapist

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Speaker 3: than her friend. A resentment of her really grew, and

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Speaker 3: it got to the point where I dreaded any time

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Speaker 3: she came back to briefly visit.

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Speaker 1: About two years after she.

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Speaker 3: Left, she actually moved back to our home state. By

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Speaker 3: that time, she and I had very little in common.

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Speaker 3: We still clicked more or less, but a lot of

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Speaker 3: our bonding still came from bringing up things from high school.

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Speaker 3: James silver Sprun upbringing was also become a problem for context.

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Speaker 1: I grew up dirt poor.

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Speaker 3: I'm talking about me, my two siblings, and my mom

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Speaker 3: in a three hundred by three hundred square foot cabin

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Speaker 3: with no utilities in the middle of the woods. There

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Speaker 3: were times when we would have starved if our neighbors

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Speaker 3: didn't help bring us food. Jane, on the other hand,

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Speaker 3: grew up with two different houses in an upper middle

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Speaker 3: class area for her entire life. Her definition of poor

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Speaker 3: and mine are very different. She sees it as a

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Speaker 3: disaster when she can't pay her for her Netflix subscription.

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Speaker 1: Despite that, she.

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Speaker 3: Still claims that she grew up poor and constantly complains

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Speaker 3: about it, and she still does to this day.

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Speaker 1: To add to this, she struggles.

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Speaker 3: To pay for things like her car insurance every month

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Speaker 3: when she has multiple inheritances that she can access at

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Speaker 3: any time. I'm talking about hundreds of thousands.

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Speaker 1: If not millions.

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Speaker 3: She still lives with her parents, rent free, and on

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Speaker 3: top of this, she's perfectly healthy, but complains about working

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Speaker 3: four hour shifts for three days a week.

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Speaker 1: Is she in school?

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Speaker 4: Is she only working twelve hours?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: I was dying. Twelve hour shift plus school plus theater rehearsals.

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Speaker 3: Is she only doing a twelve hour Well, it's too

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Speaker 3: much for her, because you gotta understand that she's also

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Speaker 3: dirt poor with her two houses.

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Speaker 1: And her you know, inheritance and her inheritance.

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Speaker 4: Is there multiple inheritances?

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Speaker 1: Sorry? After does she can't hold a job?

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Speaker 3: She always has some problem or another that makes her

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Speaker 3: quit within a few weeks, no matter where it's at,

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Speaker 3: and it's always someone else's faulty Harry telling. I've also

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Speaker 3: spent more money on her than she has on me,

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Speaker 3: and if I happen to borrow any money, I pay

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Speaker 3: her back as soon as possible. When it's like pulling

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Speaker 3: teeth trying to get five dollars back from her multiple birthdays,

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Speaker 3: I've gotten her an extremely well thought out gift that

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Speaker 3: I know she'll love, and she keeps getting me socks. No,

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Speaker 3: this is not an exaggeration. It is always socks every

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Speaker 3: day time. I guess I should be glad she's thinking

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Speaker 3: of me at least. Our financial differences bother me quite

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Speaker 3: a bit, but I don't bring it up because I

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Speaker 3: know it won't get anywhere. I believe it's defly one

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Speaker 3: of the main factors in our strained relationship, though, as

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Speaker 3: I mentioned, by the time Jane moved back up, we

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Speaker 3: had little in common, completely different friends, interests, and lives,

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Speaker 3: but neither of us had any aside from one in

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Speaker 3: person friends. They all moved away or were online, so

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Speaker 3: we automatically started hanging out again as much as before.

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Speaker 3: She ended up getting a job at the same place

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Speaker 3: I worked, and she was the only one with a license,

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Speaker 3: so she drive me to and from work a lot,

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Speaker 3: and I'd end up staying at her place for days

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Speaker 3: at a time.

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Speaker 1: Before then, I.

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Speaker 3: Never spent that much consecutive time with her, but being

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Speaker 3: around her NonStop for that long without a break took

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Speaker 3: a toll on my patience for her. I'm an introvert.

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Speaker 3: I'm not very sociable in the first place. Yeah, just

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Speaker 3: being around that anyone that amount of time at all,

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Speaker 3: it is gonna put it's gonna have.

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Speaker 4: A strengths, God, it is.

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Speaker 3: It's gonna be gonna be bumps in the road, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: you got you gotta try to smooth them out. During

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Speaker 3: the time that she was working with me, I went

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Speaker 3: through another big traumatic event with a roommate, and she

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Speaker 3: was there to help me through it. I was already

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Speaker 3: pulling away from her at that time, but having that

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Speaker 3: shoulder to lean on guilted me and staying closer to her.

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Speaker 3: I mean, like, I don't know, low key, it sounds

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Speaker 3: like those person's your friend and you're trying to convince

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Speaker 3: yourself that she's not because there's an aspect of her

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Speaker 3: that you don't like.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean like it was considerate of her to

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Speaker 4: be there, Like it does seem like she was helpful,

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Speaker 4: but I do think.

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Speaker 1: All suspects multiple aspects of her that you do not like.

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Speaker 1: I think.

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Speaker 4: I think also, you don't necessarily have to You don't

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Speaker 4: have to be friends with anyone you don't want to

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Speaker 4: be friends.

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Speaker 1: But it's true.

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Speaker 3: By this point, about a year ago, I was really

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Speaker 3: trying to move out of my mom's place, especially since

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Speaker 3: my roommate didn't work out. Jane was also trying to

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Speaker 3: get her own place because her relationship with her parents

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Speaker 3: isn't very good. They do control quite a bit of

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Speaker 3: her life even now. They were never outright abusive, but

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Speaker 3: just very controlling. Since both of us wanted to leave,

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Speaker 3: we decided to try and work towards moving in together.

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Speaker 3: When her mom found out, she offered to rent us

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Speaker 3: one of her houses they have four for a fair price.

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Speaker 3: I agreed, but as time went on and we hammered

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Speaker 3: out more details, her parents altered, trying to control things

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Speaker 3: I did as well. I was given all sorts of

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Speaker 3: rules to follow if I was going to live in

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Speaker 3: the house. I try bringing up my concerns to her,

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Speaker 3: but she seemed to think it was perfectly normal, which

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Speaker 3: I guess it is if you're they're renting out the

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Speaker 3: house to you. Depends on what the world would be rules,

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Speaker 3: But yeah, we do need to figure out what they are.

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Speaker 3: Jane's parents are the type of people who would keep

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Speaker 3: a spare key to the house just so they can

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Speaker 3: barge in whenever they like, and Jane would be perfectly

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Speaker 3: fine with it, since it's what she's used to. The

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Speaker 3: more I learned about my new potential living situation, the

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Speaker 3: more I wanted to leave. But I wanted to try

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Speaker 3: to get Jane out from under her parents thumb, even

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Speaker 3: if it meant putting myself in that situation too. Although

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Speaker 3: under no real obligation, I still felt like I had

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Speaker 3: to help. Even if her parents had the least, at

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Speaker 3: least they wouldn't be living with her to suffocate her

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Speaker 3: even more. I'd like to clarify that as much as

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Speaker 3: Jane pisses me off, I do still love her and

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Speaker 3: care about her deeply. See there we are, it's your

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Speaker 3: your flip flip. Having too much, this all accumulated to

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Speaker 3: me being trapped in a nightmare. I knew if I

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Speaker 3: didn't move in with her that she'd most likely stay

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Speaker 3: living with her parents for who knows how long. Then

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Speaker 3: the plan changed when her mother wanted her to move

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Speaker 3: up three months sooner than we planned.

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Speaker 1: This would have been fine, except I didn't have enough

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Speaker 1: saved up yet exactly. It would have been fine, except

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Speaker 1: it's not.

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Speaker 3: At all times, I'm not ready Fine, you can't just

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Speaker 3: move plans up like that. Jane could go, she had

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Speaker 3: no savings, but her parents paid for the entire moving process. Again,

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Speaker 3: I didn't have that luxury, so I had to stay.

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Speaker 3: She ended up moving back with her parents all because

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Speaker 3: they wanted someone to take care of their dogs while

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Speaker 3: they went on vacation. Honestly, I was glad for the

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Speaker 3: break from her. Jane's still living there currently. We'd planned

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Speaker 3: before for me to come up at that later date,

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Speaker 3: but I finally told her why I didn't want to go,

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Speaker 3: and she said she understood. I still feel guilt, though

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Speaker 3: for the most part, we've just drifted apart.

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Speaker 1: It happens.

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Speaker 3: I've drifted from nearly all of my friends from high school,

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Speaker 3: and so she little things over the years have built

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Speaker 3: up to the point where I get annoyed every time

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Speaker 3: she texts me. I dread her ever wanting to call.

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Speaker 3: We hardly have any interest in common at all.

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Speaker 1: As well.

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Speaker 3: She still tries to talk to me about shows that

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Speaker 3: she likes, but I don't understand any of it, and

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Speaker 3: I don't want to.

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Speaker 1: Like coming on, did you see Hurricane?

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Speaker 4: She's like, I don't freaking know what.

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Speaker 1: You're talking about, and I hate that.

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Speaker 3: If you guys join us every weekday at three pm

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Speaker 3: when we go live on YouTube, just.

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Speaker 4: Tap our profiles, just happen, Just tap it happen.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, I think I think the solution here, as

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Speaker 3: we've said, yea, Op's got a friend that's not really

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Speaker 3: her friend, and Ope's friend thinks that she has a

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Speaker 3: friend that's not really her friend. So both parties are losing.

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Speaker 3: Both parties are losing, and you need to cut your losses,

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Speaker 3: and so you let it.

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Speaker 1: Let it go, Let it go. As else says, this

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Speaker 1: person is not your friend.

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Speaker 4: You can sing that to her. Uh huh choreographed breakup

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Speaker 4: friendship breakup song.

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Speaker 3: The most difficult part about all of this is that

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Speaker 3: she still thinks for best friends. I can't bring myself

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Speaker 3: to tell her otherwise, so I lie every time she

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Speaker 3: asks me, and she asks a lot. I wonder if

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Speaker 3: she knows I feel guilty for her annoying me. She

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Speaker 3: hasn't done anything wrong. I'm just tired of her, and

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Speaker 3: I know she has better friend end me, so she's

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Speaker 3: not completely dependent on me for her happiness. I just

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Speaker 3: want to let her go, but I don't know if

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Speaker 3: I'd be wrong for dropping her. Any advice is appreciated.

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Speaker 3: I can clarify most anything if needed. You just need

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Speaker 3: a drop her like it literally sounds like you got it.

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Speaker 3: You're like, I want to let her go, but I

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Speaker 3: don't if I'd be wrong.

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Speaker 4: My advice is you go to her and you say, hey,

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Speaker 4: talk about how you guys aren't aligned anymore. How it's

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Speaker 4: just been really hard to be your friend, and you

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Speaker 4: don't feel like you're doing her a service by lying

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Speaker 4: to her anymore. Because this is just not benefiting.

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Speaker 1: Either of you.

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Speaker 4: You can just because she's she's probably feeling anxious about

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Speaker 4: whether or not you paid.

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Speaker 3: Her, especially if she's asking a lot. Now it's like, yeah,

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Speaker 3: she knows something's up.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like.

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Speaker 4: It's the worst in the world to be like, oh,

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Speaker 4: I think my friends hate me, and then they do.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so I mean just freaking there's no good situation

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Speaker 3: for the friend.

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Speaker 1: Like the friend is gonna no matter what.

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Speaker 4: But she's being actively hurt and you're also being actively hurt.

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Speaker 1: So just you're helping and you're making her live that lie. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: like the friend.

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Speaker 2: My partner wants to keep our baby, but I'm giving

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Speaker 2: it up for adoption.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's wow.

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Speaker 2: This seems like a heavy story. Yeah, it's a heavy story.

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Speaker 2: I don't want to read. My boyfriend Mail thirty four

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Speaker 2: and I were together for almost three years, but it

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Speaker 2: wasn't a good relationship. It got very bad and I

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Speaker 2: finally found the courage to leave him a few months ago.

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Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from you throw our a

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Speaker 2: Elizabeth on the rok story Time subreddit. So of course

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Speaker 2: afterwards I found out I was pregnant. We didn't plan this.

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Speaker 2: We always use contraceptives. Damn, that's unfortunate. Yeah, I really

256
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Speaker 2: don't want kids either, and I am definitely not in

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Speaker 2: a situation to have one right now. So for me,

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Speaker 2: the decision to give the baby up was made quickly,

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Speaker 2: though with a lot of thought. I'm not saying this

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Speaker 2: is easy. My ex and his family, however, hate me

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Speaker 2: for it. I told them if they want to keep it,

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Speaker 2: they can, but I won't be involved unless it's child

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Speaker 2: support or something. Though I'm still studying and work part times,

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Speaker 2: so it's not a lot. But that's not enough. My

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Speaker 2: ex wants us to get back together and be a family.

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Speaker 2: His parents want me to keep their grand baby and

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Speaker 2: raise it. They want me to stop my studies and

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Speaker 2: focus on being a mom. They're like, become a good

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Speaker 2: woman and do woman motherly things.

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Speaker 1: It's only about in life.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, neither him or his parents aren't in a good

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Speaker 2: place to raise a baby easier either, so that's why

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Speaker 2: they need me. They call me a monster in so

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Speaker 2: much worse, and the only reason he's wanting to get

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Speaker 2: back together is because they had a baby. Yeah, the

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Speaker 2: relationship was bad, and already said it got really bad.

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Speaker 2: And that's just so happy to be out of it.

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Speaker 4: And to have this like measure of they want this

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Speaker 4: control back because you have a kid.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm exhausted. I don't know what to do with it.

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Speaker 2: If I block them, I get visits telling me I

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Speaker 2: just can't cut them off when I'm carrying their child grandchild.

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Speaker 2: So on, other family members get involved. I got blasted

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Speaker 2: on Facebook though I wanted to keep this situation as

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Speaker 2: private as possible.

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Speaker 5: What.

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Speaker 2: It always blows my mind in these stories that people

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Speaker 2: are just like posting the most personal family drama on Facebook.

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Speaker 1: What.

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Speaker 2: I'm so tired. I just want all of this to

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Speaker 2: be over with. What can I do to make the

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Speaker 2: situation work somehow? Updates? Any thoughts so far before this updates?

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Speaker 1: Ah, I think that I don't know, it's tricky. I

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Speaker 1: think that.

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Speaker 4: You maybe need to go through some sort of legal route.

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Speaker 4: I'm saying, like, hey, I need you know. I don't

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Speaker 4: know if you could get a restraining order or something, or.

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Speaker 2: It's I mean, it's his child. Yeah, I don't know

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Speaker 2: the legality of this.

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Speaker 1: Mm hmm.

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Speaker 2: I'll just preface this whole story with that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: But I think that at the end of the day,

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Speaker 4: you just like, if you do not want to keep

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Speaker 4: this child if you want to put it up for

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Speaker 4: adoption that is, or you know, give the child to

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Speaker 4: your your ex or something that you do not have

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Speaker 4: to stay with this child if that is not what

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Speaker 4: you wants.

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Speaker 2: It seems like Opie is willing to give the child

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Speaker 2: or give the family full custody of the child, but

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Speaker 2: doesn't want to be involved. Yeah, which is not accepting that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: And at the end, at that point, it's like who

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Speaker 4: cares what they think?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: At that point, like lock them you. I think they

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Speaker 2: will take the child. Actually I don't know, Yeah, because

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Speaker 2: you're saying that Opie was saying that they're not in

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Speaker 2: a position to take care of it. So if you're

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Speaker 2: saying you could have the child, but here's my line,

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Speaker 2: I'm not going to be in the child's life other

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Speaker 2: than child support. I wonder if they would take the child.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. We'll see, all right.

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Speaker 2: Update. Thank you for all the overwhelming amount of replies.

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Speaker 2: It's a fun question mark. I appreciate it more than

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Speaker 2: I could put into words. I'm ripped off. I've ripped

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Speaker 2: off the band aid and block them all. As well

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Speaker 2: as taking a step back from social media, called my

330
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Speaker 2: mom and asked him if I could come home for

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Speaker 2: a while. We called for such a long time. I

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00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:08,760
Speaker 2: told her everything. We both were crying. She told me

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Speaker 2: she was worried. Even before all this, I hadn't realized

334
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Speaker 2: how little contact we had while he and I were together.

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Speaker 2: At a decent time, I'll contact school and look into

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Speaker 2: attorney attorney options as well as figure out what I

337
00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:25,440
Speaker 2: will do with this pregnancy. Can you legally block I

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00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:28,680
Speaker 2: mean like, well, yeah, I mean you block forms of

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00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:32,760
Speaker 2: communication off with the father if he's I think until

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Speaker 2: the baby is born.

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Speaker 1: Interesting and I again, I don't know the legality.

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Speaker 2: Do you know anything around that?

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Speaker 1: Keon?

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Speaker 2: No, not no, okay, yeah, so reality unclear. Unfortunately I

345
00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:49,160
Speaker 2: wish I could, but I don't know. Yeah, so OPI.

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Speaker 2: At a decent time, I'll contact school and look into

347
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Speaker 2: attorney options, as well as figure out what I will

348
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Speaker 2: do with this pregnancy. Now, I just really need some sleep.

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Speaker 2: I'll probably book a hotel. My parents offered to pay

350
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Speaker 2: great until I could go home to them. Thank you

351
00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:06,840
Speaker 2: all so much. Truly, we have another update. We're just

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00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:09,440
Speaker 2: gonna go right into it. I'm really sorry for posting

353
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Speaker 2: here again. People were asking for an update, and I

354
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Speaker 2: thought i'd do it like this. I hope that's okay.

355
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Speaker 2: I can delete if not. Sorry again a lot of apologies.

356
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Speaker 2: Most important things First, I'm all right. I'm at home

357
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Speaker 2: with my parents, who are the most wonderful people in

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Speaker 2: the world. I'm very lucky, and I'm still pregnant. I

359
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:30,480
Speaker 2: know a lot of people were recommending a and it's

360
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Speaker 2: something I thought about a lot, even when I had

361
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Speaker 2: just found out, but I was in state that it

362
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Speaker 2: has been banned. Terrified of the possible repercussions, retaliation by

363
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Speaker 2: my ex and his family and so on. I'm sticking

364
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Speaker 2: with my plan for adoption, and please respect that again

365
00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:48,720
Speaker 2: those days, this.

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Speaker 4: Is your choice and no one else gets to make.

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Speaker 1: It for you.

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Speaker 2: Well, actually, I don't know with the legality of like,

369
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Speaker 2: can she put it for adoption if the father is claiming.

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Speaker 4: Unless the father can you know, prove that he is

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Speaker 4: able to support this kid legally, I think that's when

372
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Speaker 4: she could put it up for auction.

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Speaker 2: Don't get me wrong, I know everyone was saying it

374
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Speaker 2: with my well being in mind, and I'm incredibly grateful.

375
00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:15,480
Speaker 2: I've never felt so supported in my life. After my

376
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Speaker 2: first post, I blocked my ex and his family. I

377
00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:20,480
Speaker 2: closed my social media accounts, though I did explain to

378
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Speaker 2: some people close to me what was going on. My

379
00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:25,120
Speaker 2: ex and his family didn't take that well, which I

380
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Speaker 2: guess I get. I guess after blocking them all, I

381
00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:31,440
Speaker 2: somehow got more calls and messages than ever through all

382
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Speaker 2: different kinds of media and numbers I didn't even know.

383
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Speaker 2: Per your advice, I kept it all.

384
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Speaker 5: Yeah.

385
00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:39,520
Speaker 2: I don't know if the best situation was to block them.

386
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Speaker 4: Meaning they were harassing ope, yeah, but I think it's

387
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Speaker 4: like you have to go through maybe some legal thing

388
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Speaker 4: where you're not directly talking to them, but there is

389
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Speaker 4: still some kind of moderation or you know.

390
00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:55,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think so too. I think the issue with

391
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Speaker 2: her mitigation the blocking for the benefit I don't. I

392
00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:03,120
Speaker 2: just don't think of would benefit Opie, because if you're

393
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Speaker 2: being blocked and someone has your child, I think you're

394
00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:08,679
Speaker 2: going to do anything possible to get in contact with them.

395
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Speaker 2: Mostly it was them trying to make me feel guilty

396
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Speaker 2: about not being a mom. They're quite traditional that I

397
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Speaker 2: can't just cut them off because I carry this baby

398
00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:18,960
Speaker 2: and so on. They said they were worried and I

399
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:21,520
Speaker 2: should go to them so we could figure this out.

400
00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:24,480
Speaker 2: Sometimes it was things that didn't make any sense, which

401
00:17:24,520 --> 00:17:26,840
Speaker 2: made me wonder what my ex was telling them, like

402
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:28,840
Speaker 2: that I chose to get pregnant and want to give

403
00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:32,040
Speaker 2: it up as some vengeance towards my ex, that I,

404
00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:34,639
Speaker 2: how do you choose to get pregnant? That I drink?

405
00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:37,520
Speaker 2: I don't, and so on. When I gave them nothing,

406
00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:40,520
Speaker 2: it got less kind even talking about what happened if

407
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Speaker 2: I terminated this pregnancy. I don't know if he went

408
00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:46,120
Speaker 2: to my place because I was not there. I've been

409
00:17:46,119 --> 00:17:49,200
Speaker 2: holding strong and not giving him any reply. Though it's exhausting.

410
00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:51,879
Speaker 2: I genuinely consider just giving in because I didn't have

411
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Speaker 2: a fight left in me.

412
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Speaker 5: Oh.

413
00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:55,760
Speaker 2: I flew home, though, and my parents have been a

414
00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:58,320
Speaker 2: great help. They support my choice, though I could see

415
00:17:58,359 --> 00:18:00,520
Speaker 2: it hurts them. It hurts me too, but it's the

416
00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:03,240
Speaker 2: right one. My parents are helping with the attorney's side

417
00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:04,960
Speaker 2: of things, so I don't have to do it alone,

418
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:07,320
Speaker 2: and it's given me some comfort knowing for a fact

419
00:18:07,359 --> 00:18:10,320
Speaker 2: I could sign away my parental rights regardless of what

420
00:18:10,359 --> 00:18:12,520
Speaker 2: they do. How selfish that may be.

421
00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:14,000
Speaker 4: It's not selfish at all.

422
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:17,720
Speaker 2: Wait. So, so it seems like the attorneys are saying

423
00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:21,399
Speaker 2: they can't. Oh, he can give away their parental rights

424
00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:26,560
Speaker 2: regardless of what her boyfriend's family does. Yeah, but does

425
00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:29,800
Speaker 2: that mean what happens with their his parental.

426
00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:33,440
Speaker 4: Rights, they would I mean he would still have them. Yeah, Yeah,

427
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:35,199
Speaker 4: he has the parental rights until he gives an move.

428
00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:38,160
Speaker 4: And so she's saying that this is an option where

429
00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:41,600
Speaker 4: they can't force me to keep, you know, to take

430
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Speaker 4: care of this child. I can give up my parental

431
00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:45,720
Speaker 4: rights and they can do whatever they want at that point.

432
00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:47,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, it seems like at this point.

433
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:49,879
Speaker 4: I think, I think the safest option is, I mean,

434
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:52,199
Speaker 4: if she can afford it, is to just talk to

435
00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:53,159
Speaker 4: a lawyer.

436
00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:56,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, but that's what she's doing. Yeah, she's in the

437
00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:58,480
Speaker 2: midst of talking to the lawyer, and that seems like

438
00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:00,720
Speaker 2: the best option right now. I don't think they'll end

439
00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:02,600
Speaker 2: up doing much. I haven't heard his family in a

440
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,879
Speaker 2: few days plus. The last message I got from an X,

441
00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:08,359
Speaker 2: he kind of apologized, said it he panicked we've been

442
00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:10,119
Speaker 2: through a lot with the breakup and me going for

443
00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:12,639
Speaker 2: adoption was too much, but that he gets it and

444
00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:15,399
Speaker 2: that adoption probably is the best choice. I haven't replied

445
00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:17,399
Speaker 2: because I worried it's just to get a response, but

446
00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:20,840
Speaker 2: I do hope it's true. If you like true, you can.

447
00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:25,359
Speaker 2: Ruin has live on YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, and Twitch every

448
00:19:25,359 --> 00:19:28,560
Speaker 2: weekday at three pm PST. Just have our profile. We're

449
00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:31,320
Speaker 2: gonna just go into updates. Also, his sister has been

450
00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:35,720
Speaker 2: continuously kind. She has a different mindset. That's great that

451
00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:38,000
Speaker 2: that's where we're at. I guess I probably go home

452
00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:40,639
Speaker 2: again in a few weeks, if only for my studies.

453
00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:43,320
Speaker 2: But being here and being able to catch my breath

454
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:45,880
Speaker 2: is a lifesaver. I really want to say thank you

455
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:49,640
Speaker 2: to you all and sorry again for bothering you not bothering.

456
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:51,240
Speaker 2: You're not bothering anymore bothering.

457
00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:53,160
Speaker 4: I think it's just like because it seems like from

458
00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:56,600
Speaker 4: your story you have this mindset that your your exit

459
00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:59,240
Speaker 4: and his family are telling you of, oh, well you

460
00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:01,199
Speaker 4: need to be a mother. It's selfish if you're not,

461
00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:06,040
Speaker 4: and that's not true. Yeah, you do not owe them anything.

462
00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:07,840
Speaker 4: And if you do not, if you think that you

463
00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:09,639
Speaker 4: cannot care for this baby and you don't want to,

464
00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:12,400
Speaker 4: then you don't like you don't have.

465
00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:14,480
Speaker 1: Any you don't have to.

466
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:17,399
Speaker 4: You can put it up for adoption, and if the

467
00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:20,120
Speaker 4: if your ex wants to contest, then he can take

468
00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:20,600
Speaker 4: that baby.

469
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:24,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what it's looking like legally. But I'm glad

470
00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:28,040
Speaker 2: ope that you've been like hard boundaries around, like your

471
00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:31,280
Speaker 2: nose and your yes's. Were glad that like attorneys are

472
00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:34,960
Speaker 2: getting involved and that we're going from there. But yeah,

473
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:38,840
Speaker 2: tricky situation. And then it just had obviously so hard

474
00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:43,679
Speaker 2: for the you know, your ex's family to just be

475
00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:47,520
Speaker 2: messaging you all, especially with like wild accusations in there.

476
00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:52,240
Speaker 4: But that's the end of that story. I expose my

477
00:20:52,359 --> 00:20:56,440
Speaker 4: cheater friend's manipulative behavior. Now her wedding's getting called off.

478
00:20:57,119 --> 00:20:58,320
Speaker 1: Hey, sound the alarm.

479
00:20:58,600 --> 00:20:59,920
Speaker 4: Should have shouldn't have cheated?

480
00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:01,240
Speaker 1: You got a cheater in the wedding.

481
00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:04,160
Speaker 4: My best friend of ten years, we'll call her VICKI

482
00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:07,080
Speaker 4: went through men like a hot knife through many, many

483
00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:10,360
Speaker 4: sticks of butter. After a while of this, she decided

484
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:12,760
Speaker 4: she wanted another baby. She had a ten year old

485
00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:15,080
Speaker 4: already and was going to settle down. By the way,

486
00:21:15,119 --> 00:21:18,560
Speaker 4: this comes from creative Content seven on the Okay Storytime suburd.

487
00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:22,160
Speaker 4: So she chose a guy after a first date because,

488
00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:25,000
Speaker 4: and I quote, we would make beautiful babies. Evan had

489
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:29,040
Speaker 4: blonde bouncing, curly hair, blue eyes, and chisel featured So

490
00:21:29,119 --> 00:21:31,400
Speaker 4: I get it, but I thought like by choosing him,

491
00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:33,720
Speaker 4: she meant to marry and then have a kid. But now,

492
00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:36,560
Speaker 4: three months after their first date, Vicky announced she was

493
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:40,280
Speaker 4: Peregger's to the surprise of all of us, especially Evan.

494
00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:43,040
Speaker 4: Then this girl straight up screamed at him that same

495
00:21:43,119 --> 00:21:45,760
Speaker 4: night because he had the audacity to pay another month's

496
00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:48,040
Speaker 4: rent for his house instead of just moving into the

497
00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:50,640
Speaker 4: perfectly good house that she owned since she was having

498
00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:51,159
Speaker 4: his baby.

499
00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:52,639
Speaker 1: Now crazy kind of.

500
00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:54,760
Speaker 4: She ended up calling it quits with Evan when he

501
00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:57,240
Speaker 4: asked for a DNA test once the baby was born.

502
00:21:57,359 --> 00:21:58,639
Speaker 1: She was not having that.

503
00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:01,800
Speaker 4: Their baby boy came out the spitting image of Evan anyway,

504
00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:04,720
Speaker 4: and Evan filed for joint custody, and Vicky asked for

505
00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:07,000
Speaker 4: a DNA test because she didn't want him to have

506
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:09,840
Speaker 4: any custody. Baby was his, of course, but Evan was

507
00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:12,159
Speaker 4: now the devil, so she moved on and went with

508
00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:14,960
Speaker 4: the very next guy, Mike, who just happened to be

509
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,359
Speaker 4: a friend of my husband's. And although I loved the

510
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:19,520
Speaker 4: girl with all my heart, she was just always in

511
00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:23,160
Speaker 4: it for the wrong reasons. Hence baby Daddy number two story.

512
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:25,399
Speaker 4: So my husband warned Mike a little bit about her,

513
00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:29,320
Speaker 4: and also to wear a raincoat always. Oh haha, Contraception

514
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:32,800
Speaker 4: tells him. On the first date, she talked about getting

515
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:34,840
Speaker 4: engaged and married, but that the man had to make

516
00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:37,560
Speaker 4: more than her and asked him his hourly wage.

517
00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:40,720
Speaker 1: What why are we? I don't know if I would

518
00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:43,399
Speaker 1: be friends with this girl. She's just inquisitive.

519
00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:47,080
Speaker 4: She's just inquisitive, just wants to know. Still, he said

520
00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:49,199
Speaker 4: he liked her a lot, so they kept dating and

521
00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:52,840
Speaker 4: became pretty serious fast. We were all together one night

522
00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:56,119
Speaker 4: when Vicky was admiring my wedding ring. It's a small

523
00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:58,840
Speaker 4: pearl with tiny diamonds surrounding it. I love it and

524
00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:01,760
Speaker 4: wanted a smaller ring because I have child size hands.

525
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:04,720
Speaker 4: When she loudly announced that the ring should cost six

526
00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:07,159
Speaker 4: months of salary. So if Mike planned to get engaged

527
00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:10,280
Speaker 4: to her soon, he better start saving. Is this the

528
00:23:10,359 --> 00:23:14,880
Speaker 4: real thing? Wait? It's been how long has it been

529
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:17,159
Speaker 4: until she brought up the engagement stuff?

530
00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:18,160
Speaker 1: I was trying to figure it out.

531
00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:20,280
Speaker 3: We don't know because she Yeah, she went from yea

532
00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:22,119
Speaker 3: from number one to number two.

533
00:23:22,119 --> 00:23:24,320
Speaker 4: It's like is she still pregnant, has she had she's

534
00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:25,679
Speaker 4: had the baby, She's had the baby.

535
00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:28,399
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah, she has.

536
00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:30,480
Speaker 4: Mike rolled his eyes like it was a joke, but

537
00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:33,040
Speaker 4: I knew it definitely was not a joke. After a

538
00:23:33,119 --> 00:23:35,840
Speaker 4: year or so, Mike actually did pop the question, and

539
00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:38,960
Speaker 4: even though Vicky said yes, she didn't love the ring

540
00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:41,639
Speaker 4: he spent six months of his income on, so she

541
00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:43,880
Speaker 4: liked to tell everyone it was a temporary one.

542
00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:45,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's terrible.

543
00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:48,560
Speaker 3: If I'm buying anything worth six months of my salary

544
00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:49,440
Speaker 3: for somebody else.

545
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:53,359
Speaker 5: Yeah, and they said coming with me, Hey, surprise, surprise,

546
00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:55,400
Speaker 5: you get to buy your own ring.

547
00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:59,720
Speaker 4: Yeah. Wow, totally crappy to say it was a gorgeous

548
00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:04,040
Speaker 4: ring and big. Well, wedding planning was chaotic after too

549
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:06,040
Speaker 4: many fights. Mike just let her do whatever and went

550
00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:09,400
Speaker 4: along with it, even though he seemed miserable about it. Then,

551
00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:12,359
Speaker 4: when Vicky went bar hopping for his bachelor party, Vicky

552
00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:14,960
Speaker 4: tracked his location and showed up to the bar at

553
00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:18,000
Speaker 4: ten pm, acted like it was a coincidence, and then

554
00:24:18,119 --> 00:24:20,920
Speaker 4: joined their bachelor bus the rest of the night. She said,

555
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:23,280
Speaker 4: because she didn't trust him not to cheat, then why.

556
00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:25,920
Speaker 1: Are we marrying him. Yeah, what what is that? That

557
00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:28,000
Speaker 1: has a lot of red flags popping up? At the

558
00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:28,920
Speaker 1: same time For.

559
00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:31,440
Speaker 4: Her bachelorette bus, she forced the driver to go off

560
00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:34,600
Speaker 4: the designated route so she could crash an ex boyfriend's

561
00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:36,400
Speaker 4: annual pong party.

562
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:38,200
Speaker 1: At his house. Oh that sounds healthy.

563
00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:40,879
Speaker 3: You're getting married and your first thought is I have

564
00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:42,040
Speaker 3: time to get back on my exploy.

565
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:44,359
Speaker 4: I got to buy my ex. She was not friendly

566
00:24:44,359 --> 00:24:46,240
Speaker 4: with him that I know of, and since I paid

567
00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:48,040
Speaker 4: for the bus, I was kind of pissed, but I

568
00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:50,040
Speaker 4: tried to play it cool since I did end up

569
00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:52,440
Speaker 4: knowing people there. But then I see her all over

570
00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:55,639
Speaker 4: ex pouring water down her white dress and giving him

571
00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:58,440
Speaker 4: a lap dance while all of us girls cringe from

572
00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:03,360
Speaker 4: a nearby table. What why did no one say like, hey, stop.

573
00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:05,520
Speaker 1: There comes a point where you grab your friend.

574
00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:08,439
Speaker 4: Yeah, you say, oh hey, what are you doing?

575
00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:12,240
Speaker 1: What are you doing? This is insane.

576
00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:14,239
Speaker 4: I finally dragged her back to the bus for an

577
00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:17,240
Speaker 4: awkwardly silent ride back home, where she had the audacity

578
00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:19,879
Speaker 4: to demand we never tell her soon to be a husband.

579
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,000
Speaker 4: Now this is where I finally drew the line.

580
00:25:22,119 --> 00:25:23,159
Speaker 1: Mike was off friend.

581
00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:25,760
Speaker 4: He was that friend. So when he came to hang

582
00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:27,840
Speaker 4: out with my husband and I the next day and

583
00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:30,560
Speaker 4: specifically asked if we were at the ex's house, I

584
00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:32,439
Speaker 4: told the truth and then I told him not to

585
00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:35,240
Speaker 4: marry VICKI flat out. I said she isn't ready to

586
00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:38,480
Speaker 4: settle down and obviously didn't trust him, even though after

587
00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:41,000
Speaker 4: what I saw, I was ninety percent sure she had

588
00:25:41,119 --> 00:25:43,879
Speaker 4: cheated on him with the X Why else show up

589
00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:46,720
Speaker 4: there at all? And if he yeah like and also

590
00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:48,760
Speaker 4: gave him a laugh dance, So that's that's true.

591
00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:51,560
Speaker 3: I'm gonna get revenged on my eggs by cheating on

592
00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:53,240
Speaker 3: my husband.

593
00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:55,480
Speaker 4: Do you know how it goes? And if he went

594
00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:57,520
Speaker 4: through at the wedding, he was a dumb butt. Then,

595
00:25:57,720 --> 00:25:59,680
Speaker 4: while he was still at her house, I called Vicky

596
00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:02,520
Speaker 4: up and told her that Mike knew and I was

597
00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:04,240
Speaker 4: the one who told him, and that if she married

598
00:26:04,280 --> 00:26:06,239
Speaker 4: him after the crap show over Sharag she put on

599
00:26:06,359 --> 00:26:07,879
Speaker 4: I was out. By the way, you should never be

600
00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:10,200
Speaker 4: out of joining us live every weekday at three PMPSD

601
00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:12,480
Speaker 4: on YouTube. Just tap her profile, yep, just tap tap

602
00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:13,520
Speaker 4: and there is a little bit left.

603
00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:15,240
Speaker 1: But what do we think? Leave this woman?

604
00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:15,800
Speaker 4: Leave her?

605
00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:17,600
Speaker 1: You should have left her earlier? Why are we still

606
00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:19,960
Speaker 1: friends with her? I'm sorry legitimately, Like.

607
00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:21,960
Speaker 4: Even if she doesn't get go through with the wedding,

608
00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:23,280
Speaker 4: I still wouldn't be friends with her.

609
00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:26,399
Speaker 1: Wait is the ex that she's talking about the baby daddy?

610
00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:29,480
Speaker 4: I don't think so. Wait, that's a good question. I

611
00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:31,920
Speaker 4: don't think so. It didn't say just said X is.

612
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:34,280
Speaker 3: Her baby daddy's name from the beginning, right, Yeah, But

613
00:26:34,359 --> 00:26:36,040
Speaker 3: I feel so. I feel like she could imagine.

614
00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:38,000
Speaker 1: Would have mentioned that. So it's another ex.

615
00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:38,360
Speaker 2: Yeah.

616
00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:40,480
Speaker 3: Oh, because she's a butt, because she's butter nye, Vicky,

617
00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:42,679
Speaker 3: she's got Viki, she's got a rollot X.

618
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:47,919
Speaker 4: Yeah. Man, stop her, literally drop her, regardless of what

619
00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:48,240
Speaker 4: she does.

620
00:26:48,359 --> 00:26:50,400
Speaker 1: Drop her. That was it.

621
00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:52,800
Speaker 4: She screamed and yelled that I was a terrible friend

622
00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:54,719
Speaker 4: and I should have stuck up for her because I

623
00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:57,280
Speaker 4: was her friend first, that I should have been loyal

624
00:26:57,359 --> 00:26:59,679
Speaker 4: to her and lied because there was nothing going on

625
00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:03,520
Speaker 4: with her in her acts there they watched you What

626
00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:05,960
Speaker 4: do you mean they watched you do stuff with your ex.

627
00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:08,440
Speaker 3: There was something going on in that exact moment when

628
00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:10,760
Speaker 3: you were What are you talking about?

629
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:14,040
Speaker 1: I can't even there's no way to say that without.

630
00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:17,560
Speaker 4: It being After a little more cussing, she hung up

631
00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:19,720
Speaker 4: on me, and when Mike called off the wedding a

632
00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:22,160
Speaker 4: few days later, she called to blame me for everything

633
00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:25,080
Speaker 4: and cussed me out again. Then she posted all of

634
00:27:25,119 --> 00:27:27,440
Speaker 4: her Facebook slash Twitter that I was the a hole

635
00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:30,320
Speaker 4: that ruined her wedding and her relationship and that I

636
00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:34,040
Speaker 4: was a liar so many witnesses. She didn't speak to

637
00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:36,520
Speaker 4: me for months, and the whole time I just wallowed

638
00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:39,280
Speaker 4: in the idea that she might have been right and I.

639
00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:41,719
Speaker 1: Was the a hole. So am I the ale?

640
00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:47,200
Speaker 3: Literally no, I'm gonna say yes, because clearly a moist

641
00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:48,600
Speaker 3: lap dance is not cheating.

642
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:51,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, did we think about that? A completely drenched he

643
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:53,199
Speaker 1: was taken out of context?

644
00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:56,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're taking it a lot of context, a lot

645
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:56,639
Speaker 3: of context.

646
00:27:56,720 --> 00:27:58,800
Speaker 1: Animals ps.

647
00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:00,560
Speaker 4: I probably should have known about it, But I did

648
00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:02,600
Speaker 4: call her up a few months after a few months

649
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:05,080
Speaker 4: and mended things. I mean, she was my bff for

650
00:28:05,119 --> 00:28:06,119
Speaker 4: ten years and I missed her.

651
00:28:06,560 --> 00:28:10,919
Speaker 1: Girl, girl, I mean bff of ten years. It's a

652
00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:11,360
Speaker 1: long time.

653
00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:13,919
Speaker 4: Yeah, but bff who like cheats on all of the

654
00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:14,720
Speaker 4: men that she's with.

655
00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:18,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, but you can have experience separation there when it's

656
00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:19,520
Speaker 3: your bestie.

657
00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:22,480
Speaker 4: I don't know if I don't best If I had

658
00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:24,680
Speaker 4: a bestie doing this behavior.

659
00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:28,000
Speaker 1: I'd be like, just don't cheat on me, don't cheat

660
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:28,240
Speaker 1: on me.

661
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:29,119
Speaker 5: No.

662
00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:31,440
Speaker 3: But it does call into question their character for sure. Yeah,

663
00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:34,000
Speaker 3: you just wonder, like what what what is going?

664
00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:37,440
Speaker 4: That was until a year later when my husband tragically

665
00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:40,720
Speaker 4: lost his foster brother and she made his passing all

666
00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:44,560
Speaker 4: about her. That's another story though, that I obviously will

667
00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:45,560
Speaker 4: also share.

668
00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:47,960
Speaker 1: But not right now. But not right now, right now,

669
00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:51,480
Speaker 1: and that is the end of that story. Oh man,

670
00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:52,840
Speaker 1: drop that lady.

671
00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:54,120
Speaker 4: She freaking sucks.

672
00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:59,320
Speaker 1: There's no reason to date that person, for sure. No, no, no, no, no, Hey,

673
00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:01,280
Speaker 1: it's Sam, you're here. We're going to get back to

674
00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:03,800
Speaker 1: the stories. But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

675
00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:06,560
Speaker 4: I put my half sibling in time out, but my

676
00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:09,400
Speaker 4: stepmom thinks I was way out of line.

677
00:29:10,320 --> 00:29:11,800
Speaker 1: Maybe he needed to go in time out.

678
00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:13,080
Speaker 2: I'm about time.

679
00:29:13,640 --> 00:29:17,120
Speaker 4: I nineteen female, am the child of divorced parents. I

680
00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:19,360
Speaker 4: live with my single mother seventy five percent of the

681
00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:22,479
Speaker 4: time and have constant visitation with my father and his

682
00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:26,400
Speaker 4: remarried family. I have two half siblings, six female.

683
00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:27,200
Speaker 1: We will call.

684
00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:33,400
Speaker 4: Sally Sally, and for male we will call Connor. My

685
00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:37,000
Speaker 4: siblings are my stepmom's children and they are both miracle children.

686
00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:40,680
Speaker 4: My sister was conceived after almost seven years of IVF.

687
00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:41,160
Speaker 2: Wow.

688
00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:44,960
Speaker 4: My stepmom called her Rachel. Cherished my sister like she

689
00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:47,920
Speaker 4: was a god because there was a very high chance

690
00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:50,440
Speaker 4: my sister would be her only child because of how

691
00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:53,840
Speaker 4: hard they had to try to have her. A few

692
00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:56,320
Speaker 4: years later, my brother was conceived and we were all

693
00:29:56,360 --> 00:30:00,400
Speaker 4: really surprised because the doctor had told my stepmom that

694
00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:03,560
Speaker 4: she would most likely never be pregnant again.

695
00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:04,080
Speaker 2: Wow.

696
00:30:04,320 --> 00:30:05,640
Speaker 1: Everyone wanted a boy.

697
00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:07,840
Speaker 4: Since both me and my sister were girls, and my

698
00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:11,360
Speaker 4: dad was begging that he would finally have a son.

699
00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:16,600
Speaker 4: His prayers were answered, hallelujah, and now he has the

700
00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:17,760
Speaker 4: son he always wanted.

701
00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:19,680
Speaker 1: But what about the girls? Did they get pushed to

702
00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:20,120
Speaker 1: the side.

703
00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:22,200
Speaker 2: Ah, we messed with the girls, but we could just

704
00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:22,760
Speaker 2: want the sun.

705
00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:25,680
Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from different intention twelve on

706
00:30:25,720 --> 00:30:28,600
Speaker 4: the Okay storytime suppered it. Now that I'm working and

707
00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:31,000
Speaker 4: doing at home college classes, I go over to their

708
00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:35,600
Speaker 4: house less and less about three days a weekend apm

709
00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:39,240
Speaker 4: Friday to eight pm Sunday. Every two to three weeks.

710
00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:41,720
Speaker 4: Whenever I can't make it for a weekend, I take

711
00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:43,840
Speaker 4: time out of my day to FaceTime my siblings for

712
00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:46,240
Speaker 4: an hour. Whenever I go over there. I tend to

713
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:48,239
Speaker 4: play with my siblings six to ten hours a day.

714
00:30:48,320 --> 00:30:49,680
Speaker 2: Oh wow, that's a lot of play.

715
00:30:49,760 --> 00:30:52,720
Speaker 4: It gets to be a lot, especially since I'm nineteen

716
00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:54,880
Speaker 4: and I'm out of my toy phase and my sister

717
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:58,120
Speaker 4: only wanted to play barbies with me. So Opie's basically

718
00:30:58,120 --> 00:30:58,880
Speaker 4: babysitting here.

719
00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:04,480
Speaker 5: Yeah, and where does op uh sh uh working and

720
00:31:04,560 --> 00:31:06,200
Speaker 5: doing at home college classes ago?

721
00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:08,360
Speaker 1: I don't know, but not with them?

722
00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:08,920
Speaker 2: Got it?

723
00:31:09,040 --> 00:31:12,400
Speaker 4: About a month ago, my stepmom walked towards the front

724
00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:15,560
Speaker 4: door and turned to me, who was playing with Sally

725
00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:18,800
Speaker 4: in the playroom connected to the foy Air fouryer. She

726
00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:20,920
Speaker 4: told me that my brother was napping on the couch

727
00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:23,200
Speaker 4: and that my dad was doing yard work. She finished

728
00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:25,720
Speaker 4: by saying, make everyone lunch because I'll be out for

729
00:31:25,720 --> 00:31:28,200
Speaker 4: a few hours. Make sure your dad stays hydrated, and

730
00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:31,520
Speaker 4: wake up your brother in thirty minutes. Opie is not

731
00:31:31,600 --> 00:31:34,680
Speaker 4: their mom, yeah, or their dad. Why does her dad

732
00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:37,880
Speaker 4: need to be Why is she making sure her dad

733
00:31:37,920 --> 00:31:38,600
Speaker 4: needs get water?

734
00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:42,000
Speaker 2: Because he's thirsty, thirsty, the thirsty guy.

735
00:31:42,520 --> 00:31:44,760
Speaker 4: And then she walked out and shut the door behind her.

736
00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:47,840
Speaker 4: I sighed and told my sister I would be right back.

737
00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:50,040
Speaker 4: I walked to the kitchen and made my dad a

738
00:31:50,040 --> 00:31:53,240
Speaker 4: homemade energy drink that he liked. I took it out

739
00:31:53,240 --> 00:31:55,960
Speaker 4: to him through the deck door in the living room

740
00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:59,200
Speaker 4: and went back to playing with Sally. I woke up

741
00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:01,400
Speaker 4: my brother like clow work and turned on a show

742
00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:03,920
Speaker 4: for him and my sister. Oh, and turned on a

743
00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:05,800
Speaker 4: show for him and my sister in the living room

744
00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:08,440
Speaker 4: so I could make lunch and still see them. I

745
00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:11,280
Speaker 4: made lunch for everyone and sat my siblings at the table.

746
00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:13,600
Speaker 4: I took my dad's lunch and then sat down at

747
00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:16,240
Speaker 4: the table. By the time we were done eating, my

748
00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:18,800
Speaker 4: dad finished the yard work and went upstairs to shower

749
00:32:18,880 --> 00:32:22,160
Speaker 4: and change clothes. My siblings were fighting over a toy,

750
00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:24,640
Speaker 4: and the fight ended with my sister hitting my brother.

751
00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:27,400
Speaker 4: I scolded her and put her in time out because

752
00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:30,320
Speaker 4: violence is not okay. I had her sit down in

753
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:32,600
Speaker 4: a different spot than the normal timeout spot, which is

754
00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:35,440
Speaker 4: sitting against the door, because my stepmom would be home

755
00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:37,160
Speaker 4: soon and I didn't want my sister in the.

756
00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:37,680
Speaker 1: Way of the door.

757
00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:41,200
Speaker 4: The rules of time out is that they must be

758
00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:43,760
Speaker 4: calm for about five minutes before they can get out.

759
00:32:44,320 --> 00:32:47,320
Speaker 4: They the longer they cry and complain, the longer they

760
00:32:47,360 --> 00:32:49,600
Speaker 4: sit there. That's actually kind of a good time out rule.

761
00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:53,960
Speaker 2: I disagree, You don't. You're against this good boor mate?

762
00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:55,120
Speaker 2: You are you familiar with that?

763
00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:55,320
Speaker 3: No?

764
00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:59,960
Speaker 2: He talks a lot about child psychology, but he share

765
00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:02,600
Speaker 2: is that to place a child that is having like

766
00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:05,840
Speaker 2: a temper tantrum or is like angry in time out

767
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:07,920
Speaker 2: until they're better, until.

768
00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:10,040
Speaker 1: Their emotions got regulating their emotions.

769
00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:13,320
Speaker 2: Is essentially not teaching them or not modeling how to

770
00:33:13,360 --> 00:33:15,960
Speaker 2: regulate their emotions. And it's actually saying like you'll be

771
00:33:16,080 --> 00:33:19,160
Speaker 2: banished until your emotions go away. In a sense to

772
00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:21,440
Speaker 2: the child. Yeah, the child's brain, that is like what

773
00:33:21,560 --> 00:33:23,160
Speaker 2: is hmmmm?

774
00:33:23,480 --> 00:33:26,280
Speaker 1: Okay, take it back. That's all.

775
00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:30,960
Speaker 4: Since my sister screamed at me saying that I was

776
00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:33,280
Speaker 4: not her mom and I couldn't do this to her.

777
00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:36,160
Speaker 4: She sat there for a total of twenty three minutes

778
00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:40,640
Speaker 4: before my stepmom returned. When Rachel walked into my sister

779
00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:43,440
Speaker 4: in time out, she began yelling at me, saying that

780
00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:46,600
Speaker 4: I couldn't punish her daughter. I responded, telling her the

781
00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:49,560
Speaker 4: situation and why she was in time out. Nothing I

782
00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:52,000
Speaker 4: said got to her, and she continued yelling at me.

783
00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:55,240
Speaker 4: I snapped. I yelled at her that I was the

784
00:33:55,240 --> 00:33:58,440
Speaker 4: one that she put in charge. I continued saying that

785
00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:01,000
Speaker 4: punishment was needed, and if I had waited for my

786
00:34:01,080 --> 00:34:03,560
Speaker 4: dad to come down, Sally probably would have hit our

787
00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:07,080
Speaker 4: brother again. I ended my rant saying, you left me

788
00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:10,040
Speaker 4: alone with your kids for hours without any prior notice

789
00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:13,880
Speaker 4: and expected me to parent them, So I did. I

790
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:16,600
Speaker 4: parented them. Maybe next time you shouldn't walk out on

791
00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:18,720
Speaker 4: your kids and actually be a mother to them instead

792
00:34:18,719 --> 00:34:23,880
Speaker 4: of handing them to your stepdaughter who can't get a break. Which, honestly,

793
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:25,919
Speaker 4: I do think that is fair. I think that op

794
00:34:26,120 --> 00:34:28,719
Speaker 4: was placed in a position where she was a kind

795
00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:32,160
Speaker 4: of she was an authority figure. Yeah, even if it

796
00:34:32,239 --> 00:34:35,600
Speaker 4: wasn't you know, explicit, she was left alone with the kids,

797
00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:38,120
Speaker 4: and the kids were being unruly and we're hitting each other,

798
00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:40,440
Speaker 4: and I think that is, you know, that is behavior

799
00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:41,640
Speaker 4: that does need to be stopped.

800
00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:45,239
Speaker 2: And it seems that the step mom already has time

801
00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:45,880
Speaker 2: out space.

802
00:34:46,080 --> 00:34:48,480
Speaker 4: Yes, so it's already it's not like it's out of

803
00:34:48,560 --> 00:34:49,520
Speaker 4: the norm.

804
00:34:49,640 --> 00:34:53,400
Speaker 2: Yeah. And so while I don't specific style of parenting,

805
00:34:53,719 --> 00:34:56,040
Speaker 2: it doesn't seem like she did something that the step

806
00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:57,480
Speaker 2: mom wentn't do herself.

807
00:34:57,640 --> 00:34:58,040
Speaker 4: Yeah.

808
00:34:58,120 --> 00:35:01,920
Speaker 2: I think it was just the fact that like she exactly.

809
00:35:01,640 --> 00:35:04,759
Speaker 4: Yeah, No, I think that is very frustrating. Yeah. I

810
00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:07,200
Speaker 4: then ran up the stairs and shut myself in my room.

811
00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:10,200
Speaker 4: My dad came in my room and a minute later

812
00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:13,080
Speaker 4: he had been folding laundry and had heard everything. He

813
00:35:13,120 --> 00:35:15,239
Speaker 4: sat down my bed next to me and told me

814
00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:17,920
Speaker 4: that he understood that he understood why I was angry,

815
00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:21,439
Speaker 4: but that my step mom was right. I wasn't their mother,

816
00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:26,920
Speaker 4: and I should have gotten my dad to handle the situation. Okay,

817
00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:29,560
Speaker 4: But like that's just I don't know, this is annoying.

818
00:35:29,600 --> 00:35:32,920
Speaker 4: I think that I like, it's not like Opee was

819
00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:36,799
Speaker 4: using corporal punishment. This isn't a punishment that's gonna you know,

820
00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:43,319
Speaker 4: scar them in any ways, unless you're talking to child psychologists.

821
00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:46,120
Speaker 4: But I think this is I mean, it's the same

822
00:35:46,160 --> 00:35:49,120
Speaker 4: thing that would happen if you had a babysitter, you know,

823
00:35:49,239 --> 00:35:52,000
Speaker 4: they would they would have to try and keep the

824
00:35:52,080 --> 00:35:54,520
Speaker 4: kids in line and stuff. And if you leave your

825
00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:56,879
Speaker 4: children alone with someone and ask them to watch them.

826
00:35:57,320 --> 00:35:59,359
Speaker 4: That is part of watching a child is making sure

827
00:35:59,360 --> 00:36:00,480
Speaker 4: that they're not hit each other.

828
00:36:01,239 --> 00:36:05,640
Speaker 2: I think that all parties should get over it, understand

829
00:36:05,719 --> 00:36:08,880
Speaker 2: that there were no agreements made, and that you need

830
00:36:08,920 --> 00:36:12,640
Speaker 2: some conflict in order to bring you into better agreements

831
00:36:12,680 --> 00:36:15,399
Speaker 2: that everyone could be explicit and agreed to and sound

832
00:36:15,719 --> 00:36:18,200
Speaker 2: moving forward. You would say, hey, if I put you

833
00:36:18,239 --> 00:36:20,560
Speaker 2: in charge, if you're you know, making food or waking

834
00:36:20,640 --> 00:36:22,839
Speaker 2: up your brother, I don't want you to punish them.

835
00:36:22,920 --> 00:36:25,200
Speaker 2: I want you to get me in the future and

836
00:36:25,239 --> 00:36:27,239
Speaker 2: then move forward with that agreement in hand.

837
00:36:27,320 --> 00:36:29,839
Speaker 1: M M, yeah, I don't know.

838
00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:32,759
Speaker 4: I think as a person who's done babysitting before, I

839
00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:36,279
Speaker 4: would be pretty annoyed if, like I was trying to

840
00:36:36,320 --> 00:36:38,799
Speaker 4: handle kids that had been placed in my care and

841
00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:40,600
Speaker 4: they were like, why would.

842
00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:40,719
Speaker 3: You do that?

843
00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:44,839
Speaker 4: I'm like, dude, you were not there, you were not there.

844
00:36:45,040 --> 00:36:49,600
Speaker 4: I'm trying to stop kids from hitting each other. But also, yeah, it's.

845
00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:52,960
Speaker 1: Just communication that needs to happen here. I know the right.

846
00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:55,320
Speaker 4: I'm not their mom, but I was put in charge,

847
00:36:55,680 --> 00:36:57,799
Speaker 4: and I feel like I was justified to punish my

848
00:36:57,840 --> 00:37:01,120
Speaker 4: sister for hitting someone. So I need to know was

849
00:37:01,320 --> 00:37:02,400
Speaker 4: I the bad apple.

850
00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:04,080
Speaker 2: I think at the end of the day, if the

851
00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:07,040
Speaker 2: step mom was giving authority to Opie to take care

852
00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:11,320
Speaker 2: of the kids, that includes, you know, like setting boundaries

853
00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:14,399
Speaker 2: with the kids and happen around that. And so if

854
00:37:14,480 --> 00:37:16,960
Speaker 2: you are specific about it being done a certain way

855
00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:19,000
Speaker 2: or if you as a parent, I don't want that

856
00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:21,480
Speaker 2: to be happening. I think that should have been communicated

857
00:37:21,480 --> 00:37:22,399
Speaker 2: from the onset.

858
00:37:22,120 --> 00:37:24,160
Speaker 4: Absolutely, and I think you as the parent, need to

859
00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:26,000
Speaker 4: do that. Like, that's not on op to ask all

860
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:27,200
Speaker 4: those questions, that's on you.

861
00:37:27,480 --> 00:37:31,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, have you guys babysitted before? Yes, I just I mean,

862
00:37:31,440 --> 00:37:35,080
Speaker 2: but like, have you ever had like that? Sorry to

863
00:37:35,080 --> 00:37:36,360
Speaker 2: add on to that, like, have you ever had that

864
00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:37,360
Speaker 2: experience with the children?

865
00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:37,600
Speaker 5: Oh?

866
00:37:37,960 --> 00:37:39,759
Speaker 4: Not where like the parents came in, but I've had

867
00:37:39,800 --> 00:37:42,640
Speaker 4: to like no, when I say punished, it just me like,

868
00:37:42,719 --> 00:37:47,279
Speaker 4: you know, But there is an edit. Edit OMG. I

869
00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:49,359
Speaker 4: posted this a few hours ago and it has more

870
00:37:49,440 --> 00:37:51,359
Speaker 4: votes than any post I've done on Reddit. Thank you

871
00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:54,720
Speaker 4: so much. I wanted to address a common thing among

872
00:37:54,760 --> 00:37:57,040
Speaker 4: the comments. A lot of you guys tell me to

873
00:37:57,200 --> 00:37:59,040
Speaker 4: just leave. I don't know if I mentioned this in

874
00:37:59,080 --> 00:38:02,040
Speaker 4: the post, but I cannot due to personal reasons. I

875
00:38:02,120 --> 00:38:04,360
Speaker 4: don't have my license, nor do I have a car,

876
00:38:04,440 --> 00:38:06,719
Speaker 4: and my mom lives forty five minutes away from my father,

877
00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:10,719
Speaker 4: so walking home isn't an option. Another thing is why

878
00:38:10,760 --> 00:38:13,520
Speaker 4: I didn't just stand up for myself before. My dad

879
00:38:13,560 --> 00:38:17,879
Speaker 4: and stepmother are toxic. They constantly yell at each other,

880
00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:21,400
Speaker 4: sometimes for hours at a time. My mental health is

881
00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:24,279
Speaker 4: seriously plummeted because they're yelling, and I'm terrified that my

882
00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:25,800
Speaker 4: siblings will suffer the same fate.

883
00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:27,440
Speaker 1: So young Da, I.

884
00:38:27,440 --> 00:38:29,400
Speaker 4: Go over as often as I can to be someone

885
00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:31,880
Speaker 4: they can go to if they're sad or scared when their.

886
00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:32,560
Speaker 1: Parents are yelling.

887
00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:36,479
Speaker 4: Oh that's so sad, But you would never be sad

888
00:38:36,520 --> 00:38:39,000
Speaker 4: if you joined us live every weekday at three pmpst

889
00:38:39,160 --> 00:38:40,000
Speaker 4: on YouTube.

890
00:38:39,680 --> 00:38:42,239
Speaker 2: Facebook at TikTok, we'd never yellt you. We would never

891
00:38:42,280 --> 00:38:44,080
Speaker 2: yette each other. I'll babyseat you, guys.

892
00:38:44,320 --> 00:38:46,560
Speaker 4: But there's a little bit left to prove the severity

893
00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:49,000
Speaker 4: of this. Once, when my sister was three, her parents

894
00:38:49,040 --> 00:38:52,040
Speaker 4: were fighting as always, and then they stopped and continued

895
00:38:52,080 --> 00:38:54,239
Speaker 4: on with their lives. I had been sitting with my

896
00:38:54,320 --> 00:38:57,200
Speaker 4: sister in my lab, covering her ears ough when the

897
00:38:57,320 --> 00:38:59,640
Speaker 4: yelling stopped. I removed my hands and she looked at

898
00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:02,640
Speaker 4: me with no emotion and just said, Sissy, it's finally quiet.

899
00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:03,760
Speaker 4: It's never quiet.

900
00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:06,279
Speaker 3: Oh.

901
00:39:08,360 --> 00:39:12,600
Speaker 4: It literally broke my heart into a thousand pieces. So yeah,

902
00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:15,040
Speaker 4: that's why I don't leave and why I tend not

903
00:39:15,160 --> 00:39:17,160
Speaker 4: to defend myself when getting yelled at, because I don't

904
00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:20,239
Speaker 4: want my siblings thinking I'm I'm allowed yeller just like

905
00:39:20,280 --> 00:39:24,320
Speaker 4: their parents. This was sad. That was a sad story,

906
00:39:25,560 --> 00:39:32,719
Speaker 4: sad ending, very sad ending. Not hopeful, oh man, Just.

907
00:39:32,680 --> 00:39:35,680
Speaker 2: The fact that I don't think there is so much

908
00:39:37,719 --> 00:39:39,400
Speaker 2: and the kids have to be subjected to being in

909
00:39:39,440 --> 00:39:40,200
Speaker 2: households like that.

910
00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:44,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, no, I honestly I think that, Like for advice

911
00:39:44,440 --> 00:39:47,640
Speaker 4: for ropia, I I don't know if there is you know,

912
00:39:47,640 --> 00:39:49,319
Speaker 4: I don't know if your parents do know how to

913
00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:53,279
Speaker 4: communicate that well, if this is this is what you're

914
00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:57,520
Speaker 4: going through. But I think it's also just like important

915
00:39:57,560 --> 00:40:00,600
Speaker 4: to make sure obviously you feel gilt and you want

916
00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:02,960
Speaker 4: to protect your siblings, but make sure that you're protecting yourself.

917
00:40:03,120 --> 00:40:03,959
Speaker 2: The story's over.

918
00:40:05,480 --> 00:40:10,640
Speaker 3: My ungrateful friend is financially irresponsible, so it's time for

919
00:40:10,680 --> 00:40:12,040
Speaker 3: her to get out.

920
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:16,359
Speaker 4: Get her out of here, yeady. You can't you can't

921
00:40:16,400 --> 00:40:19,440
Speaker 4: gime around these do we responsible for these parts?

922
00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:22,680
Speaker 3: I'm having difficulties right now with how I'm going to

923
00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:25,560
Speaker 3: deal with my friend. We're college students right now, and

924
00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:27,960
Speaker 3: in our third year, I used to stay in school

925
00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:30,280
Speaker 3: dormitory and I had to live with six other people,

926
00:40:30,360 --> 00:40:33,240
Speaker 3: whilst my friend has had her own apartment living alone

927
00:40:33,280 --> 00:40:35,960
Speaker 3: since our day one of college. By the way, this

928
00:40:36,040 --> 00:40:40,160
Speaker 3: comes from user deleted on the r slash Okay storytime ceubrendit.

929
00:40:40,320 --> 00:40:43,040
Speaker 3: So it took one year for my parents to let

930
00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:45,600
Speaker 3: me live alone in my apartment, which I'm staying in

931
00:40:45,680 --> 00:40:48,080
Speaker 3: right now, because they keep saying that I should have

932
00:40:48,239 --> 00:40:50,759
Speaker 3: a taste of being out of my comfort zone and

933
00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:53,279
Speaker 3: in the real world, I should really learn to socialize

934
00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:55,920
Speaker 3: with other people. I did learn a lot of lessons,

935
00:40:55,960 --> 00:40:59,840
Speaker 3: including saving money and narrowing my expenses to needs only

936
00:41:00,040 --> 00:41:02,400
Speaker 3: and set aside my wants as I could only afford

937
00:41:02,480 --> 00:41:04,440
Speaker 3: so little. I could say that I came from a

938
00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:08,160
Speaker 3: wealthy family, as we almost never had financial problems and

939
00:41:08,280 --> 00:41:10,960
Speaker 3: we are always traveling, but my parents never really spoiled

940
00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:12,920
Speaker 3: me with money, and I can only get what I

941
00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:15,920
Speaker 3: want if I ask them and there's always something I

942
00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:19,880
Speaker 3: should give in exchange, either good behavior, school achievements, or

943
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:22,800
Speaker 3: just really being responsible. Now that I have my own apartment,

944
00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:24,759
Speaker 3: my friend asked me if she could stay with me

945
00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:28,279
Speaker 3: as she couldn't afford her apartment anymore. Oh no, I

946
00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:30,880
Speaker 3: just recently found out that she hadn't paid her rent

947
00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:34,040
Speaker 3: for months and the landlady is kicking her out. She

948
00:41:34,080 --> 00:41:36,880
Speaker 3: told me about her family's financial problems, about how her

949
00:41:36,920 --> 00:41:37,640
Speaker 3: father can't.

950
00:41:37,480 --> 00:41:39,080
Speaker 1: Work anymore due to old age.

951
00:41:39,120 --> 00:41:41,759
Speaker 3: Her father's a sixty six year old dentist, and they

952
00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:44,200
Speaker 3: haven't had income for months. I don't know exactly how

953
00:41:44,239 --> 00:41:47,200
Speaker 3: long she had work in summer, but soon quit because

954
00:41:47,239 --> 00:41:49,360
Speaker 3: she complains about how hard it is and how little

955
00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:51,680
Speaker 3: they pay her. Hey, welcome to the workforce, and now

956
00:41:51,719 --> 00:41:54,640
Speaker 3: they have nothing, and no one in their family wants

957
00:41:54,719 --> 00:41:57,200
Speaker 3: to work for their family's needs either. I understand that

958
00:41:57,239 --> 00:41:59,120
Speaker 3: she doesn't want to work, but does she really have

959
00:41:59,160 --> 00:42:02,439
Speaker 3: a choice. Does she prefer lying in bed all day

960
00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:06,160
Speaker 3: to work, especially when she needs it now the most?

961
00:42:06,239 --> 00:42:09,239
Speaker 3: She's the oldest and has two more younger siblings, so

962
00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:11,840
Speaker 3: she doesn't really have anyone to rely on. I personally

963
00:42:11,880 --> 00:42:14,600
Speaker 3: think that her parents have such bad decisions and have

964
00:42:14,719 --> 00:42:18,040
Speaker 3: poor money management, but that's another story. Despite all of that,

965
00:42:18,160 --> 00:42:21,120
Speaker 3: she kept saying that she wanted to finish college and

966
00:42:21,200 --> 00:42:25,160
Speaker 3: still wants to continue. However, her things, including her uniform

967
00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:28,239
Speaker 3: and other school stuff, has been locked up in her

968
00:42:28,280 --> 00:42:31,000
Speaker 3: apartment and the landlade wasn't letting her get her things

969
00:42:31,239 --> 00:42:33,760
Speaker 3: or even enter her room unless she pays her balance,

970
00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:37,400
Speaker 3: which I'm pretty sure that's illegal. Our other friends offered

971
00:42:37,400 --> 00:42:41,120
Speaker 3: her a super cheap, preloved uniform that she could use

972
00:42:41,239 --> 00:42:43,360
Speaker 3: so she can still go to school, and she asked

973
00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:45,600
Speaker 3: me if she could stay in my apartment just so

974
00:42:45,640 --> 00:42:47,600
Speaker 3: she can have a place to stay while she's figuring

975
00:42:47,600 --> 00:42:50,520
Speaker 3: out how she would pay her former apartment balance. I

976
00:42:50,640 --> 00:42:53,080
Speaker 3: have a two room apartment and each room is good

977
00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:55,759
Speaker 3: for two people, just enough for four people, and it's

978
00:42:55,840 --> 00:42:58,840
Speaker 3: pretty big for someone living alone. So I agreed, But

979
00:42:58,880 --> 00:43:01,000
Speaker 3: I had a second thought after I told this to

980
00:43:01,040 --> 00:43:03,759
Speaker 3: my father, and he warned me about the possibility that

981
00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:05,799
Speaker 3: she might not be able to pay her share of

982
00:43:05,840 --> 00:43:08,840
Speaker 3: the rent, as I am also just now budgeting my expenses.

983
00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:10,759
Speaker 4: Well, it seems like she can't pay any of the rent.

984
00:43:10,960 --> 00:43:12,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, she hasn't been paying rent for months.

985
00:43:12,760 --> 00:43:14,960
Speaker 3: You tell your dad, Like, my friend who can't pay

986
00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:16,560
Speaker 3: rent's gonna move in. He's like, you might want to

987
00:43:16,560 --> 00:43:20,440
Speaker 3: be careful. She's talk rent although my parents give me

988
00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:23,520
Speaker 3: monthly money, including my rent money or usage of my

989
00:43:23,640 --> 00:43:26,480
Speaker 3: room still deducts to my budget. Well, I mean, if

990
00:43:26,520 --> 00:43:27,920
Speaker 3: your parents are paying your rent, I don't know if

991
00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:30,520
Speaker 3: you can really talk about like she's messing up your budget.

992
00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:33,880
Speaker 1: It's like it's my budget, she's really messing up your parents' budget. Yeah.

993
00:43:33,960 --> 00:43:36,280
Speaker 3: I suggest to her that she invite one more person

994
00:43:36,360 --> 00:43:38,719
Speaker 3: to share the room so they could split rent and

995
00:43:38,760 --> 00:43:41,360
Speaker 3: pay cheaper, as I would pay much more because I

996
00:43:41,440 --> 00:43:42,080
Speaker 3: took the other.

997
00:43:41,960 --> 00:43:42,960
Speaker 1: Whole room for myself.

998
00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:45,359
Speaker 3: But she kept insisting that she's not used to such

999
00:43:45,480 --> 00:43:48,680
Speaker 3: uncomfortable living and wanted the room all for herself. So

1000
00:43:48,719 --> 00:43:51,399
Speaker 3: I adjusted again and said that I'll just invite another

1001
00:43:51,440 --> 00:43:53,440
Speaker 3: person in my room, just so I'll be the one

1002
00:43:53,440 --> 00:43:55,840
Speaker 3: who will pay cheaper and hopefully have extra money to

1003
00:43:55,880 --> 00:43:58,680
Speaker 3: afford her expenses if she can't afford it. Again, because

1004
00:43:58,719 --> 00:44:01,239
Speaker 3: it's not my Landlady's probable if we can't pay rent

1005
00:44:01,280 --> 00:44:04,560
Speaker 3: in time, and I don't expect them to understand our situation.

1006
00:44:04,760 --> 00:44:07,480
Speaker 4: Wait, I'm sorry, ohp was like, hey, maybe you could

1007
00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:09,160
Speaker 4: get a roommate, and she's like, no, I don't want one.

1008
00:44:09,200 --> 00:44:11,400
Speaker 4: And he's like, okay, I guess I could get a roommate.

1009
00:44:11,560 --> 00:44:13,160
Speaker 4: Why are you letting your friend walk all over you?

1010
00:44:13,360 --> 00:44:16,560
Speaker 1: Yeah? Like truly doormat type. Yeah, an area bad. You

1011
00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:17,760
Speaker 1: don't want to have a roommate.

1012
00:44:17,960 --> 00:44:19,759
Speaker 4: You can't afford to live in the apartment.

1013
00:44:20,320 --> 00:44:22,959
Speaker 3: I didn't mind it that I now have another person

1014
00:44:23,040 --> 00:44:25,240
Speaker 3: sharing the room with me because it's also our friend

1015
00:44:25,320 --> 00:44:26,840
Speaker 3: and is very considerate and kind.

1016
00:44:26,960 --> 00:44:28,960
Speaker 1: Cool move in with your cool friend. Yeah.

1017
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:31,320
Speaker 3: However, it just annoys me that she doesn't want to

1018
00:44:31,360 --> 00:44:34,839
Speaker 3: adjust or even help herself, knowing that her situation can't

1019
00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:37,759
Speaker 3: afford the comfort that she wants. What's worse is I

1020
00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:40,200
Speaker 3: remember that she asked her parents for an a seed

1021
00:44:40,320 --> 00:44:42,520
Speaker 3: or old apartment, and I admit that it's hot because

1022
00:44:42,520 --> 00:44:44,839
Speaker 3: we live in a tropical country. But shouldn't she set

1023
00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:48,080
Speaker 3: aside those luxuries and prioritize her needs first.

1024
00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:51,319
Speaker 4: Probably, sometimes you gotta live in a hot apartment as

1025
00:44:51,320 --> 00:44:52,000
Speaker 4: a college student.

1026
00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:52,359
Speaker 1: Yep.

1027
00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:54,920
Speaker 3: Even I was too shy to ask my parents for

1028
00:44:54,960 --> 00:44:57,920
Speaker 3: such things as it is, as it's expensive and the

1029
00:44:57,960 --> 00:45:01,640
Speaker 3: electricity bill will be even much more expensive. I've told

1030
00:45:01,680 --> 00:45:03,960
Speaker 3: about this to my parents, thinking that they should know

1031
00:45:04,160 --> 00:45:06,560
Speaker 3: because they're the ones giving me my allowance that I

1032
00:45:06,680 --> 00:45:09,000
Speaker 3: use for rent and other needs. If ever, they will

1033
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:11,399
Speaker 3: be the one paying for my friend's rent expenses that

1034
00:45:11,440 --> 00:45:14,080
Speaker 3: we assume wouldn't be able to pay monthly rent because

1035
00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:17,080
Speaker 3: I see that she wasn't willing to adjust or even

1036
00:45:17,239 --> 00:45:21,000
Speaker 3: just try it. My parents are generous people, but hate tolerating.

1037
00:45:21,200 --> 00:45:23,839
Speaker 3: They were willing to help my friend, and better, they

1038
00:45:23,840 --> 00:45:26,560
Speaker 3: would pay for her school expenses if only she was

1039
00:45:26,640 --> 00:45:30,640
Speaker 3: willing to try to adjust her luxurious wants. They said

1040
00:45:30,680 --> 00:45:33,239
Speaker 3: they don't want to help people, especially young adults who

1041
00:45:33,280 --> 00:45:36,080
Speaker 3: are mature enough to understand the situation, don't know what

1042
00:45:36,120 --> 00:45:39,320
Speaker 3: to prioritize, because tolerating it would just make it worse

1043
00:45:39,480 --> 00:45:41,680
Speaker 3: when they grow older and have no one to lean

1044
00:45:41,680 --> 00:45:44,279
Speaker 3: on but themselves. My parents said such people wouldn't learn

1045
00:45:44,360 --> 00:45:46,880
Speaker 3: their lesson if they know what to do but refuse

1046
00:45:46,960 --> 00:45:49,120
Speaker 3: to do it just because it's out of their comfort zone.

1047
00:45:49,160 --> 00:45:51,080
Speaker 3: I get their point, but at the same time, I

1048
00:45:51,160 --> 00:45:53,359
Speaker 3: really want to help my friend, but it's not.

1049
00:45:53,400 --> 00:45:55,920
Speaker 1: My decision to do so. I am still just a student.

1050
00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:57,840
Speaker 3: I keep trying to tell my friend to choose cheaper

1051
00:45:57,880 --> 00:46:00,440
Speaker 3: options because her budget will never be enough if she

1052
00:46:00,480 --> 00:46:02,799
Speaker 3: couldn't give up simple things. You don't have to help

1053
00:46:02,800 --> 00:46:05,319
Speaker 3: this friend, man. Yeah, I mean I want to help her,

1054
00:46:05,360 --> 00:46:07,759
Speaker 3: but you don't have to. Yeah, she's not listening. She's

1055
00:46:07,800 --> 00:46:09,719
Speaker 3: not willing to give up anything. Which is that just

1056
00:46:09,719 --> 00:46:10,000
Speaker 3: on her.

1057
00:46:10,080 --> 00:46:12,320
Speaker 4: It seems like maybe she was in like a really

1058
00:46:12,440 --> 00:46:15,200
Speaker 4: rich or well off family and then they had some

1059
00:46:15,360 --> 00:46:18,920
Speaker 4: money issues. Dad couldn't work anymore, and then it was

1060
00:46:18,920 --> 00:46:21,160
Speaker 4: like a big switch, and so she's still she hasn't

1061
00:46:21,200 --> 00:46:21,960
Speaker 4: adjusted to that.

1062
00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:25,759
Speaker 1: Now I'm kicking her out. Oh would you look at that?

1063
00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:26,239
Speaker 4: Yeah?

1064
00:46:26,520 --> 00:46:28,720
Speaker 3: Thinking it will be better for both of us, because

1065
00:46:28,800 --> 00:46:31,320
Speaker 3: I don't want our friendship to end because of money

1066
00:46:31,320 --> 00:46:34,759
Speaker 3: and delayed payments and an issue with my landlady. Right now,

1067
00:46:34,840 --> 00:46:36,920
Speaker 3: she has no place to stay, but I know she

1068
00:46:36,960 --> 00:46:39,280
Speaker 3: can do something about it. She can choose cheaper options,

1069
00:46:39,400 --> 00:46:41,520
Speaker 3: or she can even try to stay in our school dormitory.

1070
00:46:41,560 --> 00:46:44,000
Speaker 3: It is like ninety percent cheaper. She just needs to

1071
00:46:44,040 --> 00:46:46,359
Speaker 3: live with about five or six more people. I could

1072
00:46:46,360 --> 00:46:48,359
Speaker 3: say that it's not that bad because I was able

1073
00:46:48,400 --> 00:46:50,040
Speaker 3: to stay there for a year. It has its own

1074
00:46:50,040 --> 00:46:53,600
Speaker 3: pros and cons, but still it's livable. I feel bad because,

1075
00:46:53,600 --> 00:46:56,319
Speaker 3: despite not knowing her priorities, she's been a good friend

1076
00:46:56,360 --> 00:46:58,800
Speaker 3: to me and never really had an issue with our friendship.

1077
00:46:58,800 --> 00:47:00,640
Speaker 1: So am I the a hole for kids her out?

1078
00:47:00,760 --> 00:47:02,480
Speaker 4: No, she was trying to take advantage of you.

1079
00:47:02,640 --> 00:47:05,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, she's literally just trying to coast. She's just trying

1080
00:47:05,200 --> 00:47:06,600
Speaker 3: to float on your good graces.

1081
00:47:06,640 --> 00:47:08,800
Speaker 4: She doesn't want to work, that's on her update.

1082
00:47:08,960 --> 00:47:10,799
Speaker 3: Our other friends are telling me that it's not time

1083
00:47:10,840 --> 00:47:12,880
Speaker 3: for life lessons and I should just let her stay.

1084
00:47:12,719 --> 00:47:13,240
Speaker 1: For a while.

1085
00:47:13,360 --> 00:47:16,760
Speaker 3: Actually, college is the perfect time for life lessons, ya goobers. Yeah,

1086
00:47:16,800 --> 00:47:19,879
Speaker 3: while I feel guilty, sad, and nervous, I think I'm

1087
00:47:19,920 --> 00:47:21,880
Speaker 3: gonna throw up. I don't know if I should let

1088
00:47:21,920 --> 00:47:24,280
Speaker 3: her stay longer, because I don't trust her about getting

1089
00:47:24,280 --> 00:47:27,680
Speaker 3: her crap together, and I see her as financially irresponsible.

1090
00:47:27,719 --> 00:47:29,560
Speaker 3: I don't want things to get worse. And my friends

1091
00:47:29,600 --> 00:47:32,480
Speaker 3: tried to propose different solutions. Either look for a job

1092
00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:35,440
Speaker 3: or stay with their apartment because theirs are cheaper, but

1093
00:47:35,560 --> 00:47:38,200
Speaker 3: she refused, saying that the job is too hard and

1094
00:47:38,239 --> 00:47:40,719
Speaker 3: she won't be able to study properly. She also said

1095
00:47:40,719 --> 00:47:44,240
Speaker 3: that she prefers my apartment because only I have separate rooms.

1096
00:47:44,280 --> 00:47:46,240
Speaker 3: We couldn't tell her to do more or try harder,

1097
00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:49,120
Speaker 3: because she keeps saying that doing those makes her depressed,

1098
00:47:49,200 --> 00:47:52,760
Speaker 3: reminding us about her family problems. She wants privacy, can't

1099
00:47:52,760 --> 00:47:55,480
Speaker 3: do study and school at the same time. She even

1100
00:47:55,520 --> 00:47:57,400
Speaker 3: told us that if there's no one to help her,

1101
00:47:57,440 --> 00:47:58,240
Speaker 3: she'll quit school.

1102
00:47:58,680 --> 00:48:00,760
Speaker 4: If you're depressed, you don't have to go to college,

1103
00:48:00,920 --> 00:48:03,839
Speaker 4: but don't use that as a way for someone else

1104
00:48:03,840 --> 00:48:04,279
Speaker 4: to pay for you.

1105
00:48:04,480 --> 00:48:07,040
Speaker 3: I couldn't say no to her sometimes because it will

1106
00:48:07,040 --> 00:48:09,040
Speaker 3: look like I'm not willing to help her, even if

1107
00:48:09,080 --> 00:48:11,560
Speaker 3: I can. This made me and my other friends even

1108
00:48:11,600 --> 00:48:15,439
Speaker 3: more guilty. And she's she's literally gill shipping you dog.

1109
00:48:15,600 --> 00:48:18,080
Speaker 3: And there's another update. Let's just jump right in. I

1110
00:48:18,120 --> 00:48:20,400
Speaker 3: think this will be my last update. It all happened

1111
00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:23,240
Speaker 3: yesterday and I wrote this at around midnight. I couldn't sleep.

1112
00:48:23,320 --> 00:48:25,960
Speaker 3: That's why I vented here. Thank you all for opening

1113
00:48:26,040 --> 00:48:29,799
Speaker 3: my effing blind eyes. She's getting her things today and

1114
00:48:29,840 --> 00:48:33,320
Speaker 3: moving out. Somehow her parents were able to borrow money

1115
00:48:33,320 --> 00:48:35,440
Speaker 3: to pay her debts. My last straw was when she

1116
00:48:35,480 --> 00:48:38,799
Speaker 3: talked about my rescued cats. I have rescued cats living

1117
00:48:38,840 --> 00:48:40,759
Speaker 3: with me in my apartment. But my cats and I

1118
00:48:40,800 --> 00:48:42,959
Speaker 3: are in my hometown right now, and she's the only

1119
00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:45,400
Speaker 3: one there to get her things. I hope she won't

1120
00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:46,400
Speaker 3: do anything stupid.

1121
00:48:46,480 --> 00:48:48,719
Speaker 1: And when she said, how are you able to help

1122
00:48:48,719 --> 00:48:53,799
Speaker 1: these cats but not me? Oh my god, what is this?

1123
00:48:54,560 --> 00:48:57,200
Speaker 1: Those are her cats. How are you helping your cats?

1124
00:48:57,280 --> 00:49:01,040
Speaker 1: But you're not helping you? My cats get a job?

1125
00:49:01,200 --> 00:49:04,240
Speaker 1: Goofy what my cats can't get income.

1126
00:49:04,480 --> 00:49:07,560
Speaker 4: Also, even if she was like, oh, well, it's your parents' money,

1127
00:49:07,600 --> 00:49:10,040
Speaker 4: it's like not, yeah, you're not their kid, Like, oh,

1128
00:49:10,120 --> 00:49:12,760
Speaker 4: he may not have to necessarily. I think she is working,

1129
00:49:12,840 --> 00:49:15,000
Speaker 4: but you know, she may not have to work for

1130
00:49:15,080 --> 00:49:16,759
Speaker 4: her money. She might have parents to do it. But

1131
00:49:16,800 --> 00:49:19,279
Speaker 4: that like, you don't so figure it out. You go

1132
00:49:19,480 --> 00:49:21,560
Speaker 4: have to go work for your income and stuff.

1133
00:49:22,480 --> 00:49:24,560
Speaker 3: The thief of joy, folks. I don't know what she

1134
00:49:24,640 --> 00:49:26,960
Speaker 3: wants to happen with that question. I just told her

1135
00:49:26,960 --> 00:49:28,400
Speaker 3: that she needs to move out. I didn't tell her

1136
00:49:28,400 --> 00:49:30,960
Speaker 3: that I doubt her financial management. So maybe she doesn't

1137
00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:33,160
Speaker 3: exactly know why I'm kicking her out. But a little

1138
00:49:33,200 --> 00:49:35,759
Speaker 3: girl told me, I'm so lucky to have such a life,

1139
00:49:35,840 --> 00:49:38,760
Speaker 3: And I would never understand her because I never worked

1140
00:49:38,800 --> 00:49:39,319
Speaker 3: like she did.

1141
00:49:39,400 --> 00:49:40,360
Speaker 1: Girl, you're not working.

1142
00:49:40,520 --> 00:49:43,520
Speaker 4: You're literally we're not scotblished that you're not working.

1143
00:49:43,600 --> 00:49:47,680
Speaker 3: We fully established that you are unemployed and intend to

1144
00:49:47,800 --> 00:49:48,520
Speaker 3: stay that way.

1145
00:49:48,680 --> 00:49:51,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, and your parents are paying borrowed money to pay

1146
00:49:51,200 --> 00:49:51,920
Speaker 4: for What would.

1147
00:49:51,680 --> 00:49:52,440
Speaker 1: You do though?

1148
00:49:52,480 --> 00:49:55,280
Speaker 3: I only help with my family's business and private tutoring

1149
00:49:55,320 --> 00:49:57,720
Speaker 3: a kid, and that's the closest thing I consider work.

1150
00:49:57,760 --> 00:49:59,640
Speaker 3: She decided to go back to her apartment and I

1151
00:49:59,640 --> 00:50:01,880
Speaker 3: don't know if she will be able to maintain it.

1152
00:50:02,080 --> 00:50:04,520
Speaker 3: By the way, we want to maintain you guys joining

1153
00:50:04,600 --> 00:50:07,560
Speaker 3: us live on YouTube every weekday at three pm PST.

1154
00:50:07,760 --> 00:50:09,880
Speaker 3: Just tap our profile, tap it until you're in the

1155
00:50:09,920 --> 00:50:13,560
Speaker 3: live and then you're here with us, and everything's perfect. Honestly,

1156
00:50:13,640 --> 00:50:16,240
Speaker 3: this is I think. Yeah, she got to the finish

1157
00:50:16,280 --> 00:50:18,239
Speaker 3: line here. She keeped your friend out. That's what you

1158
00:50:18,239 --> 00:50:18,520
Speaker 3: had to do.

1159
00:50:18,600 --> 00:50:19,319
Speaker 1: That's all you had to do.

1160
00:50:19,400 --> 00:50:20,120
Speaker 4: You're not the ale.

1161
00:50:20,320 --> 00:50:22,959
Speaker 1: Yeah, your friend is the nails. And it doesn't matter

1162
00:50:23,000 --> 00:50:25,120
Speaker 1: if you don't need to have a job. Your friend

1163
00:50:25,160 --> 00:50:27,920
Speaker 1: is entitled. Your friend has to have a job way entitled.

1164
00:50:28,080 --> 00:50:30,600
Speaker 3: As for our other friends, they don't blame me, but

1165
00:50:30,680 --> 00:50:32,600
Speaker 3: at the same time, they don't want to blame my

1166
00:50:32,680 --> 00:50:35,320
Speaker 3: friend either because they think it'll just make it worse.

1167
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:39,640
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, the friendship dynamics. They're all going to she sucks.

1168
00:50:39,719 --> 00:50:41,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, you don't need her as a friend. She's not

1169
00:50:41,640 --> 00:50:45,279
Speaker 3: high and lame for real. I don't know if they're

1170
00:50:45,280 --> 00:50:48,120
Speaker 3: talking behind my back. We all didn't really show anger

1171
00:50:48,200 --> 00:50:50,320
Speaker 3: to each other, and we've all been talking in a

1172
00:50:50,360 --> 00:50:52,359
Speaker 3: calm way. They said that they understand that I want

1173
00:50:52,360 --> 00:50:54,719
Speaker 3: my own privacy too, and I have the right who

1174
00:50:54,800 --> 00:50:57,160
Speaker 3: I invite to my place. On the other hand, I

1175
00:50:57,160 --> 00:50:59,839
Speaker 3: think they're also enabling my friend's mindset by saying it's

1176
00:50:59,840 --> 00:51:03,040
Speaker 3: also understandable that you want comfort. Everyone wants that. But

1177
00:51:03,120 --> 00:51:05,600
Speaker 3: I think they just don't want to make everything worse. Yeah,

1178
00:51:05,680 --> 00:51:07,120
Speaker 3: they're just trying to keep the peace. I think there

1179
00:51:07,120 --> 00:51:09,439
Speaker 3: will always be a silent conflict between all of us

1180
00:51:09,480 --> 00:51:10,120
Speaker 3: moving forward.

1181
00:51:10,239 --> 00:51:12,400
Speaker 1: There probably will, yeah, because.

1182
00:51:12,040 --> 00:51:14,520
Speaker 3: If she's like you know, so, she's just speaking venom

1183
00:51:14,600 --> 00:51:15,760
Speaker 3: on you, like behind your bape.

1184
00:51:15,760 --> 00:51:18,439
Speaker 4: He wouldn't let me move in me Like, why don't

1185
00:51:18,480 --> 00:51:19,160
Speaker 4: your friends do that?

1186
00:51:19,200 --> 00:51:19,399
Speaker 5: Then?

1187
00:51:19,800 --> 00:51:22,040
Speaker 3: And you know the friends are like, oh, it's babe,

1188
00:51:22,040 --> 00:51:24,280
Speaker 3: it's understandable, Like, of course you want to be comfee.

1189
00:51:24,320 --> 00:51:26,839
Speaker 1: Everyone wants to be comfeed. You're also in the road.

1190
00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:28,319
Speaker 1: It's like, no, you're not.

1191
00:51:28,640 --> 00:51:31,799
Speaker 3: Do you want to get comfy, get a job, pay

1192
00:51:31,880 --> 00:51:32,720
Speaker 3: for that comfort.

1193
00:51:32,800 --> 00:51:36,600
Speaker 1: We're all that comfort, work that comfort. Here's John you

1194
00:51:36,640 --> 00:51:37,239
Speaker 1: ogos here.

1195
00:51:37,239 --> 00:51:38,600
Speaker 5: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's a

1196
00:51:38,680 --> 00:51:40,480
Speaker 5: quick three minute break of ass from our sponsors.

1197
00:51:41,480 --> 00:51:45,240
Speaker 4: My spouse is prioritizing his parents over me. I feel

1198
00:51:45,320 --> 00:51:47,800
Speaker 4: like our marriage is in a downward spiral.

1199
00:51:48,239 --> 00:51:50,080
Speaker 2: M we spiral.

1200
00:51:50,680 --> 00:51:53,120
Speaker 4: We've been married for ten years, we now have one

1201
00:51:53,280 --> 00:51:55,480
Speaker 4: almost seven year old. We own a house less than

1202
00:51:55,480 --> 00:51:59,040
Speaker 4: a mile from the in laws. My spouse is very

1203
00:51:59,120 --> 00:52:01,800
Speaker 4: prone to people please, and the fear of disappointing this

1204
00:52:02,120 --> 00:52:05,680
Speaker 4: the parents is also very real. This is mostly due

1205
00:52:05,719 --> 00:52:09,080
Speaker 4: to the mother in law getting angry, spiteful, poudy, etc.

1206
00:52:09,760 --> 00:52:12,640
Speaker 4: When she does not get her way. Every year, the

1207
00:52:12,800 --> 00:52:15,560
Speaker 4: holidays have been a tense time as we have always

1208
00:52:15,719 --> 00:52:17,680
Speaker 4: had to go where the mother in law wanted us to.

1209
00:52:18,480 --> 00:52:20,480
Speaker 4: I have no family to speak of other than my

1210
00:52:20,600 --> 00:52:23,560
Speaker 4: spouse and child, so there wasn't an issue at first,

1211
00:52:23,920 --> 00:52:26,279
Speaker 4: but eventually I wanted to spend time with our little

1212
00:52:26,360 --> 00:52:30,080
Speaker 4: family without always having to move over and make room

1213
00:52:30,880 --> 00:52:34,040
Speaker 4: for the in laws. Our entire relationship there has been

1214
00:52:34,040 --> 00:52:35,960
Speaker 4: a struggle with the in laws, so it's not just

1215
00:52:36,040 --> 00:52:39,160
Speaker 4: a grandchildren thing. By the way, this comes from stale

1216
00:52:39,200 --> 00:52:42,400
Speaker 4: stalagmite on the okay storytime separate it. So in the

1217
00:52:42,480 --> 00:52:45,200
Speaker 4: fall of twenty twenty two, the mother in law science

1218
00:52:45,239 --> 00:52:48,839
Speaker 4: are child up for tea ball? Okay, she did ask first,

1219
00:52:48,960 --> 00:52:54,120
Speaker 4: but the obligations were significantly underdescribed. Long story short, It's

1220
00:52:54,239 --> 00:52:56,600
Speaker 4: three times or more a week, and we end up

1221
00:52:56,640 --> 00:52:58,680
Speaker 4: having to do all of this ourselves because the mother

1222
00:52:58,680 --> 00:53:01,520
Speaker 4: in law eventually stops coming. She's like, you gotta get

1223
00:53:01,560 --> 00:53:05,000
Speaker 4: your you're set into t ball. I'm gonna make sure.

1224
00:53:05,200 --> 00:53:06,600
Speaker 4: And then she was like, actually, this.

1225
00:53:06,760 --> 00:53:07,439
Speaker 1: Is a lot of work.

1226
00:53:07,520 --> 00:53:09,080
Speaker 2: You guys, keep this going to do it?

1227
00:53:09,280 --> 00:53:09,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, you got this.

1228
00:53:11,080 --> 00:53:13,400
Speaker 4: During the time, the mother in law also plans a

1229
00:53:13,520 --> 00:53:15,800
Speaker 4: party on top of funeral we had planned to go

1230
00:53:15,920 --> 00:53:19,040
Speaker 4: to despite being given the dates. These events, coupled with

1231
00:53:19,200 --> 00:53:21,839
Speaker 4: not being able to pursue our interest slush hobbies, led

1232
00:53:21,880 --> 00:53:24,440
Speaker 4: to me moving to a new state and finding a

1233
00:53:24,520 --> 00:53:24,920
Speaker 4: new job.

1234
00:53:25,000 --> 00:53:26,480
Speaker 2: Woae, wait, what didn't.

1235
00:53:27,960 --> 00:53:29,960
Speaker 1: All of all of the events that she was planning.

1236
00:53:31,120 --> 00:53:33,840
Speaker 4: Uh. The spouse and kid eventually come up, but do

1237
00:53:34,040 --> 00:53:37,560
Speaker 4: not tell their parents for several months. My spouse only

1238
00:53:37,640 --> 00:53:39,959
Speaker 4: shared it with their parents. Once we started renting a place,

1239
00:53:40,040 --> 00:53:40,560
Speaker 4: they were moving.

1240
00:53:40,960 --> 00:53:42,640
Speaker 2: Yes, okay, we were.

1241
00:53:42,560 --> 00:53:45,879
Speaker 4: Staying with friends for the first several months. The mother

1242
00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:48,879
Speaker 4: in law had planned a Disney trip as Christmas gift

1243
00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:52,120
Speaker 4: at the end of twenty twenty two. There are issues

1244
00:53:52,160 --> 00:53:54,760
Speaker 4: about me feeling excluded then, but that's a different story.

1245
00:53:55,360 --> 00:53:57,680
Speaker 4: So in June twenty twenty three, we go to Disney,

1246
00:53:57,920 --> 00:54:00,560
Speaker 4: not without incident, and then the mother in law gets

1247
00:54:00,640 --> 00:54:03,560
Speaker 4: mad because the day before checkout, we decide to extend

1248
00:54:03,640 --> 00:54:05,719
Speaker 4: our trip and take our kid to the beach for

1249
00:54:05,760 --> 00:54:08,200
Speaker 4: the first time. We even invited the in laws, but

1250
00:54:08,280 --> 00:54:11,759
Speaker 4: they declined. A few months later, Christmas twenty twenty three,

1251
00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:13,960
Speaker 4: we invited the in laws to stay with us in

1252
00:54:14,040 --> 00:54:16,160
Speaker 4: our new state, about five and a half hours away.

1253
00:54:16,840 --> 00:54:20,040
Speaker 4: We thought we had a plan, agreed on dates, et cetera.

1254
00:54:20,760 --> 00:54:23,759
Speaker 4: Then three days before their supposed arrival, they said that

1255
00:54:23,840 --> 00:54:26,520
Speaker 4: they changed the dates so they could stay at a casino.

1256
00:54:26,520 --> 00:54:28,880
Speaker 2: Even though they were going to stay with their child.

1257
00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:33,160
Speaker 4: And yeah, the original plan was to stay for five

1258
00:54:33,280 --> 00:54:35,840
Speaker 4: days but depart before Christmas Eve because we wanted to

1259
00:54:35,840 --> 00:54:38,160
Speaker 4: spend Christmas just the three of us as a family.

1260
00:54:39,600 --> 00:54:42,239
Speaker 4: They would now only be staying two days, but they

1261
00:54:42,280 --> 00:54:45,520
Speaker 4: were now coming Christmas Eve and leaving the day after Christmas.

1262
00:54:46,080 --> 00:54:49,640
Speaker 4: I said, no, that wasn't the plan. We had expressed

1263
00:54:49,719 --> 00:54:51,680
Speaker 4: wanting to spend Christmas as a family, and it was

1264
00:54:51,719 --> 00:54:54,480
Speaker 4: too short of notice for a change like that. The

1265
00:54:54,680 --> 00:54:57,600
Speaker 4: main events ooh, it's even worse.

1266
00:54:57,840 --> 00:54:58,399
Speaker 1: Act two.

1267
00:54:58,880 --> 00:55:01,520
Speaker 4: This past summer, we talked about doing family trips and

1268
00:55:01,719 --> 00:55:05,759
Speaker 4: really focusing on us. Spouse is a teacher and has

1269
00:55:05,840 --> 00:55:08,680
Speaker 4: the summers off. I'm not really sure why slash how,

1270
00:55:09,200 --> 00:55:11,440
Speaker 4: but this ended up not happening, and the spouse and

1271
00:55:11,560 --> 00:55:13,759
Speaker 4: kids spent the majority of the summer out of state

1272
00:55:13,880 --> 00:55:17,160
Speaker 4: at the in law's house, not our house five minutes

1273
00:55:17,200 --> 00:55:19,560
Speaker 4: away from the in laws. They stayed at the in

1274
00:55:19,680 --> 00:55:24,160
Speaker 4: law's house in their childhood bedroom, no responsibilities, being fed

1275
00:55:24,280 --> 00:55:24,800
Speaker 4: and cared for.

1276
00:55:26,000 --> 00:55:26,759
Speaker 1: Sounds kind of nice.

1277
00:55:27,000 --> 00:55:27,200
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1278
00:55:27,880 --> 00:55:30,359
Speaker 4: My spouse even admitted they might have been a little

1279
00:55:30,520 --> 00:55:34,319
Speaker 4: spoiled this summer. This happened three times out of the summer,

1280
00:55:34,400 --> 00:55:37,160
Speaker 4: for about a total of six weeks, so, which is annoying.

1281
00:55:37,200 --> 00:55:39,520
Speaker 4: Op because they had talked about spending time as a family.

1282
00:55:40,480 --> 00:55:43,200
Speaker 2: Who was taking care of the child when he was

1283
00:55:43,280 --> 00:55:43,800
Speaker 2: being spoiled?

1284
00:55:45,480 --> 00:55:47,520
Speaker 1: No, he was the kid was there? Okay?

1285
00:55:47,640 --> 00:55:47,799
Speaker 5: Yeah?

1286
00:55:47,880 --> 00:55:51,000
Speaker 4: Yeah? Oh, okay, the kid and the spouse were both

1287
00:55:51,360 --> 00:55:51,960
Speaker 4: with the parents.

1288
00:55:52,040 --> 00:55:52,320
Speaker 1: Okay.

1289
00:55:53,520 --> 00:55:56,399
Speaker 4: Each trip lasted about two weeks and I never knew

1290
00:55:56,440 --> 00:55:58,520
Speaker 4: when the next one was because there was no plan.

1291
00:55:59,200 --> 00:56:01,080
Speaker 4: It was always oh oh, mom wants to take our

1292
00:56:01,200 --> 00:56:04,719
Speaker 4: child to this or something of that nature. During this time,

1293
00:56:04,880 --> 00:56:08,800
Speaker 4: I was working and essentially living alone. As the summer

1294
00:56:08,880 --> 00:56:11,000
Speaker 4: is starting to wind down and I get more anxious

1295
00:56:11,000 --> 00:56:13,600
Speaker 4: about not doing family things, we decide to do a

1296
00:56:13,680 --> 00:56:16,799
Speaker 4: family water park trip before school starts back. We both

1297
00:56:16,880 --> 00:56:20,840
Speaker 4: seem excited. I start researching options and then I noticed

1298
00:56:20,840 --> 00:56:24,200
Speaker 4: my spouse has little to no engagement with the plan. Ooh,

1299
00:56:24,560 --> 00:56:28,160
Speaker 4: I ask about it and get nothing in response. I'm baffled,

1300
00:56:28,360 --> 00:56:32,120
Speaker 4: somewhat hurt. I kept with that plan, request, PTO, etc.

1301
00:56:33,719 --> 00:56:37,000
Speaker 4: My spouse's brother was getting married. They decided on a

1302
00:56:37,080 --> 00:56:41,200
Speaker 4: destination wedding in Grenada and children were not allowed. We

1303
00:56:41,360 --> 00:56:44,439
Speaker 4: both agreed that that ruled us out from going, because

1304
00:56:44,480 --> 00:56:46,719
Speaker 4: what will we do with our kid. I told my

1305
00:56:46,800 --> 00:56:48,880
Speaker 4: spouse they could go, but they didn't want to go

1306
00:56:49,080 --> 00:56:52,200
Speaker 4: without all of us as a family. That was November

1307
00:56:52,320 --> 00:56:53,440
Speaker 4: slash December, and I.

1308
00:56:53,520 --> 00:56:55,080
Speaker 1: Thought that was the end of that.

1309
00:56:55,520 --> 00:56:57,320
Speaker 2: There's a lot of information.

1310
00:56:57,840 --> 00:57:01,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, story, Well, okay, tld all for anyone who needs it.

1311
00:57:02,040 --> 00:57:03,600
Speaker 2: Me Uh.

1312
00:57:03,840 --> 00:57:07,800
Speaker 4: OPI is saying that they had kind of like a

1313
00:57:08,000 --> 00:57:11,000
Speaker 4: seemingly little bit tricky relationship with the in laws. Uh

1314
00:57:11,120 --> 00:57:14,880
Speaker 4: and then uh, because of a couple of different reasons,

1315
00:57:14,960 --> 00:57:19,800
Speaker 4: they decided to move, and eventually their spouse and their

1316
00:57:19,880 --> 00:57:22,680
Speaker 4: kid moved with them without kind of talking to the

1317
00:57:22,760 --> 00:57:26,960
Speaker 4: in laws. And then they were going to have like

1318
00:57:27,040 --> 00:57:30,000
Speaker 4: Christmas together, but that kind of got messed up because

1319
00:57:30,040 --> 00:57:31,800
Speaker 4: the in laws decided to show up. And then they

1320
00:57:31,800 --> 00:57:33,920
Speaker 4: were gonna have summer together, and that got messed up

1321
00:57:33,960 --> 00:57:36,160
Speaker 4: because the spouse and the kid decided to spend it

1322
00:57:36,240 --> 00:57:39,080
Speaker 4: with the in laws, and so oh, he's feeling a

1323
00:57:39,080 --> 00:57:40,000
Speaker 4: little bit neglected.

1324
00:57:40,720 --> 00:57:42,560
Speaker 1: And then once again.

1325
00:57:42,520 --> 00:57:44,960
Speaker 4: It seems like they're about to go to this or

1326
00:57:45,040 --> 00:57:47,080
Speaker 4: there's about to be this wedding that they both agreed

1327
00:57:47,080 --> 00:57:49,480
Speaker 4: that they're not going too, and I think maybe there's

1328
00:57:49,480 --> 00:57:50,440
Speaker 4: gonna be a problem.

1329
00:57:50,240 --> 00:57:53,240
Speaker 2: There, all right, meming, says Delene. My comment, I see

1330
00:57:53,440 --> 00:57:56,280
Speaker 2: the problem now, the story has too much context. I agree.

1331
00:57:56,440 --> 00:57:59,760
Speaker 4: This is a fast forward to mid July and I'm

1332
00:57:59,760 --> 00:58:02,360
Speaker 4: at work and my spouse tells me to check my email.

1333
00:58:03,080 --> 00:58:07,200
Speaker 4: I read it and get knocked senseless spouse told the

1334
00:58:07,320 --> 00:58:10,520
Speaker 4: parents in December that they were going to the wedding.

1335
00:58:10,320 --> 00:58:11,480
Speaker 1: And that I would keep the kid.

1336
00:58:11,800 --> 00:58:12,080
Speaker 2: WHOA.

1337
00:58:12,760 --> 00:58:15,640
Speaker 4: So again, this goes completely against what they had discussed

1338
00:58:15,680 --> 00:58:16,320
Speaker 4: and agreed upon.

1339
00:58:17,400 --> 00:58:17,600
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1340
00:58:17,720 --> 00:58:20,680
Speaker 2: They Yeah, they had agreed they're not going. Yeah, and

1341
00:58:20,880 --> 00:58:22,760
Speaker 2: he made a decision without telling her.

1342
00:58:23,000 --> 00:58:25,920
Speaker 4: Especially because she said you can go and he was like,

1343
00:58:26,040 --> 00:58:29,000
Speaker 4: and they were like, no, I don't want to go. Reminder,

1344
00:58:29,080 --> 00:58:31,880
Speaker 4: I don't know this and work full time. The mother

1345
00:58:31,920 --> 00:58:35,200
Speaker 4: in law got my spouse a new passport, plane ticket,

1346
00:58:35,760 --> 00:58:40,600
Speaker 4: all of it. My spouse never said anything and lied multiple.

1347
00:58:40,200 --> 00:58:42,200
Speaker 1: Times about it. That is ridiculous.

1348
00:58:42,560 --> 00:58:42,800
Speaker 2: Wow.

1349
00:58:43,160 --> 00:58:45,200
Speaker 4: Up until this time, I had been planning our end

1350
00:58:45,240 --> 00:58:48,160
Speaker 4: of summer trip that they had also been planning. The

1351
00:58:48,280 --> 00:58:50,480
Speaker 4: really fun part was that I found out on Wednesday

1352
00:58:51,040 --> 00:58:53,520
Speaker 4: and they were returning to the in laws the next day.

1353
00:58:54,040 --> 00:58:58,040
Speaker 4: It what so basically OPI found out that their spouse

1354
00:58:58,560 --> 00:59:02,280
Speaker 4: was going on this wedding trip without telling them, and

1355
00:59:02,440 --> 00:59:04,600
Speaker 4: they were literally leaving the next day the next day.

1356
00:59:05,920 --> 00:59:08,520
Speaker 4: I don't know about for the oh no, a whole

1357
00:59:08,560 --> 00:59:11,800
Speaker 4: week prior to the departure for the wedding. So literally

1358
00:59:11,920 --> 00:59:14,880
Speaker 4: they're they're gone that week and then also the week

1359
00:59:14,960 --> 00:59:17,080
Speaker 4: for the wedding or the couple of days for the wedding.

1360
00:59:17,240 --> 00:59:20,360
Speaker 5: Yeah, not only did he lie that we don't know

1361
00:59:20,440 --> 00:59:27,240
Speaker 5: the gender. Not only did they lie, but they my brain, no,

1362
00:59:27,320 --> 00:59:27,840
Speaker 5: you're gohead.

1363
00:59:27,960 --> 00:59:32,480
Speaker 4: Not only did they before they could have a conversation.

1364
00:59:32,120 --> 00:59:35,680
Speaker 2: About it, they left without even I thought it was like, hey,

1365
00:59:35,760 --> 00:59:37,640
Speaker 2: by the way, I'm leaving but like tomorrow.

1366
00:59:37,800 --> 00:59:40,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, well I think that was, which is kind

1367
00:59:40,240 --> 00:59:42,520
Speaker 4: of shocking, especially because Opie's whole thing was like, I

1368
00:59:42,640 --> 00:59:45,080
Speaker 4: want to spend time with my partner, huh and my

1369
00:59:45,240 --> 00:59:46,560
Speaker 4: kid and they keep leaving.

1370
00:59:46,680 --> 00:59:48,680
Speaker 5: Yeah, even if you take out the lying, even if

1371
00:59:48,680 --> 00:59:51,880
Speaker 5: you tank take out the agreement, that was not that. Yeah,

1372
00:59:51,920 --> 00:59:56,920
Speaker 5: you're still telling your partner about a trip you're going on,

1373
00:59:57,160 --> 00:59:58,200
Speaker 5: like the day before.

1374
00:59:58,840 --> 01:00:02,320
Speaker 4: We're I mean, now she to plan for taking care

1375
01:00:02,320 --> 01:00:04,200
Speaker 4: of a kid, yeah, you know, on our own.

1376
01:00:04,360 --> 01:00:07,120
Speaker 2: It's something you communicate with your partner, Yeah, point blank.

1377
01:00:07,160 --> 01:00:08,680
Speaker 2: And then you have all this stuff with like lying

1378
01:00:08,840 --> 01:00:11,120
Speaker 2: and just pulling backtracking on an agreement.

1379
01:00:11,520 --> 01:00:13,880
Speaker 4: I'm astounded, to say the least, but I support them

1380
01:00:13,960 --> 01:00:17,600
Speaker 4: going because it's the spouse's brother, tickets already bought, et cetera.

1381
01:00:18,320 --> 01:00:19,280
Speaker 1: The spouse's car.

1382
01:00:19,240 --> 01:00:21,680
Speaker 4: Overheats, as they're getting on the interstate, I go and

1383
01:00:21,760 --> 01:00:24,600
Speaker 4: help get them back on the road. Then their battery dies,

1384
01:00:24,680 --> 01:00:26,800
Speaker 4: so i'd go jump the two times. It was a

1385
01:00:26,880 --> 01:00:29,280
Speaker 4: rough start, to say the least. I ask the spouse

1386
01:00:29,360 --> 01:00:32,120
Speaker 4: to fly fly back early. They say, of course, and

1387
01:00:32,200 --> 01:00:34,800
Speaker 4: then fail to do so. This is so frustrating.

1388
01:00:35,040 --> 01:00:35,760
Speaker 2: It is frustrating.

1389
01:00:35,960 --> 01:00:37,840
Speaker 4: I was about to buy the ticket beforehand, and I'm

1390
01:00:37,880 --> 01:00:39,840
Speaker 4: glad I didn't because the in laws did not want

1391
01:00:39,880 --> 01:00:42,520
Speaker 4: my spouse to leave the wedding early. At some point,

1392
01:00:42,760 --> 01:00:45,160
Speaker 4: my spouse promises me that this was the last thing

1393
01:00:45,360 --> 01:00:48,040
Speaker 4: and then we would focus on family and do our

1394
01:00:48,080 --> 01:00:51,640
Speaker 4: own thing for the holidays. As to how the trip went, well,

1395
01:00:51,760 --> 01:00:54,160
Speaker 4: let's just say the father in law texted me, I

1396
01:00:54,280 --> 01:00:55,560
Speaker 4: hope you can call them down.

1397
01:00:55,800 --> 01:00:57,120
Speaker 1: We can't leave them in Miami.

1398
01:00:57,400 --> 01:01:01,280
Speaker 4: What. I ended up going to meet them when they

1399
01:01:01,360 --> 01:01:03,800
Speaker 4: returned to the in law's home state, after which my

1400
01:01:03,880 --> 01:01:05,880
Speaker 4: family all came back to our new house together.

1401
01:01:07,600 --> 01:01:09,600
Speaker 1: I don't fully understand.

1402
01:01:09,240 --> 01:01:09,760
Speaker 5: What that was like.

1403
01:01:09,960 --> 01:01:11,640
Speaker 2: They're loving Miami.

1404
01:01:12,120 --> 01:01:13,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh you can get them back.

1405
01:01:14,680 --> 01:01:14,880
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1406
01:01:16,280 --> 01:01:19,040
Speaker 4: My spouse is back for about two weeks before I

1407
01:01:19,160 --> 01:01:23,440
Speaker 4: realized they're stealing ADHD medicine again. What this is a

1408
01:01:23,800 --> 01:01:24,800
Speaker 4: side note, what does that.

1409
01:01:25,120 --> 01:01:27,240
Speaker 2: Mean you from who you're stealing it from?

1410
01:01:27,440 --> 01:01:30,120
Speaker 4: This has happened several times before, and I've never told

1411
01:01:30,160 --> 01:01:32,600
Speaker 4: my in laws despite the issue being very severe. At

1412
01:01:32,640 --> 01:01:36,240
Speaker 4: one point, Yes, I realized the whole scenario severe, and

1413
01:01:36,320 --> 01:01:38,760
Speaker 4: I'm probably wrong for just accepting it and not making

1414
01:01:38,760 --> 01:01:41,200
Speaker 4: a bigger issue out of it. It's easier for me

1415
01:01:41,280 --> 01:01:43,760
Speaker 4: to take responsibility for not keeping my medicine far enough

1416
01:01:43,760 --> 01:01:45,760
Speaker 4: away so with out of sight and out of mind.

1417
01:01:45,960 --> 01:01:50,520
Speaker 2: So Op's spouse is stealing ADHD medication from Op.

1418
01:01:50,920 --> 01:01:54,360
Speaker 4: Yes, this seems like the plot b to the story.

1419
01:01:56,040 --> 01:01:58,360
Speaker 1: Way too much plot. Here is so much plot.

1420
01:01:58,640 --> 01:02:01,600
Speaker 4: My spouse never told her parents about this latest occurrence.

1421
01:02:01,920 --> 01:02:03,000
Speaker 4: Now back to the story.

1422
01:02:03,280 --> 01:02:04,360
Speaker 1: That was just more.

1423
01:02:05,600 --> 01:02:08,320
Speaker 4: Opie was like, side note, my partner is stealing my

1424
01:02:08,400 --> 01:02:12,280
Speaker 4: adderall but anyway, back to the story that's not important.

1425
01:02:13,040 --> 01:02:15,200
Speaker 4: About a month later, we learned that mother in law

1426
01:02:15,280 --> 01:02:18,400
Speaker 4: has planned a reception locally to them. I immediately tell

1427
01:02:18,480 --> 01:02:20,320
Speaker 4: my spouse we can go, and that we should try

1428
01:02:20,400 --> 01:02:22,080
Speaker 4: to use some of that time to ready out the

1429
01:02:22,160 --> 01:02:24,720
Speaker 4: house to rent, because the house just sits and they

1430
01:02:24,800 --> 01:02:26,640
Speaker 4: never use it when they visit the in laws anyway,

1431
01:02:26,640 --> 01:02:30,160
Speaker 4: because they always stay with the in laws. The reason

1432
01:02:30,360 --> 01:02:33,840
Speaker 4: for going to this event was supposed was supposedly because

1433
01:02:33,840 --> 01:02:36,200
Speaker 4: our child wanted to see the new bride in her dress.

1434
01:02:37,080 --> 01:02:40,400
Speaker 4: Then when I started asking more questions, I was told that, oh,

1435
01:02:40,560 --> 01:02:43,360
Speaker 4: another friend with kids wants to get a babysitter, so

1436
01:02:43,440 --> 01:02:47,120
Speaker 4: we'll do that. I asked, wasn't part of the point

1437
01:02:47,200 --> 01:02:49,800
Speaker 4: in going so that the kid could be there? The

1438
01:02:49,880 --> 01:02:53,040
Speaker 4: answer was maybe, but now we get out fun. So

1439
01:02:53,280 --> 01:02:56,640
Speaker 4: once again Ope was planning his family outing to go

1440
01:02:56,720 --> 01:02:59,240
Speaker 4: to the reception and the spouse is like, oh, we're

1441
01:02:59,280 --> 01:03:01,600
Speaker 4: not having the kid there, We're gonna get a babysitter,

1442
01:03:02,320 --> 01:03:06,600
Speaker 4: and just instead of having a conversation, is just deciding everything.

1443
01:03:06,840 --> 01:03:09,360
Speaker 5: Yeah, and that's been the issue issue the whole time.

1444
01:03:09,400 --> 01:03:12,080
Speaker 5: I have this over connectualized story.

1445
01:03:12,840 --> 01:03:18,480
Speaker 2: This is that Op's partner is continuously prioritizing their parents

1446
01:03:19,040 --> 01:03:23,560
Speaker 2: and either failing to communicate or lying in their communication. Yes,

1447
01:03:23,840 --> 01:03:29,760
Speaker 2: and also telling big logistical changing things last minute.

1448
01:03:29,840 --> 01:03:32,200
Speaker 4: Or not telling them at all, not telling them until

1449
01:03:32,240 --> 01:03:32,880
Speaker 4: it happens.

1450
01:03:33,040 --> 01:03:35,800
Speaker 2: So either a lack of communication or if there's communication,

1451
01:03:36,040 --> 01:03:37,480
Speaker 2: it's very bad communication.

1452
01:03:37,800 --> 01:03:40,959
Speaker 4: Anyway, I keep asking for a plan and details about

1453
01:03:40,960 --> 01:03:43,480
Speaker 4: this event a month away. I'm getting nowhere, So I

1454
01:03:43,560 --> 01:03:45,400
Speaker 4: text the father in law what I understand the plan

1455
01:03:45,520 --> 01:03:48,200
Speaker 4: to be for the reception as well as the holidays.

1456
01:03:48,760 --> 01:03:50,760
Speaker 4: I tell father in law we are planning to drive

1457
01:03:50,840 --> 01:03:54,000
Speaker 4: down Thursday, they babysit, and we pack up the house.

1458
01:03:54,440 --> 01:03:56,960
Speaker 4: Then everyone meets at the reception the next day, Friday,

1459
01:03:57,120 --> 01:04:00,280
Speaker 4: and we drive back the following day on Saturday. That

1460
01:04:00,440 --> 01:04:02,160
Speaker 4: is a lot if you're packing up a whole house,

1461
01:04:02,200 --> 01:04:05,400
Speaker 4: that has a lot to do. The father in law says, well,

1462
01:04:05,440 --> 01:04:07,840
Speaker 4: we were hoping you would stay till Saturday so we

1463
01:04:07,880 --> 01:04:11,000
Speaker 4: can do something with our child and take the spouse

1464
01:04:11,200 --> 01:04:13,640
Speaker 4: with the grandchild and take the spouse to a birthday

1465
01:04:13,640 --> 01:04:17,120
Speaker 4: dinner Saturday night. Cour of note my spouse's birthday with

1466
01:04:17,160 --> 01:04:19,880
Speaker 4: September first. This event occurs about a month and a

1467
01:04:19,920 --> 01:04:23,600
Speaker 4: half after that, plus we'll be back in town for Thanksgiving.

1468
01:04:24,280 --> 01:04:27,160
Speaker 4: I didn't respond and supposed to get a final answer

1469
01:04:27,280 --> 01:04:30,400
Speaker 4: on going today from my spouse. As of now, I'm

1470
01:04:30,440 --> 01:04:32,280
Speaker 4: waiting to be told if we're going to the reception.

1471
01:04:32,560 --> 01:04:36,120
Speaker 4: I'm losing sleep, being crippled with anxiety and fearing what

1472
01:04:36,240 --> 01:04:39,080
Speaker 4: the remainder of this year looks like. My spouse has

1473
01:04:39,160 --> 01:04:41,120
Speaker 4: promised me that after the wedding, there would be no

1474
01:04:41,280 --> 01:04:43,080
Speaker 4: more things and we'll get to focus on us.

1475
01:04:43,520 --> 01:04:44,480
Speaker 2: That has been promised.

1476
01:04:44,640 --> 01:04:44,840
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1477
01:04:45,840 --> 01:04:48,080
Speaker 4: Well, it's also because at the beginning of the story

1478
01:04:48,160 --> 01:04:50,040
Speaker 4: and there is more. But at the beginning of the story,

1479
01:04:50,200 --> 01:04:54,080
Speaker 4: op mentioned how all these events kind of caused them

1480
01:04:54,160 --> 01:04:55,720
Speaker 4: to want to move away. Yeah, and I was like,

1481
01:04:55,800 --> 01:04:57,520
Speaker 4: I don't know, Like that didn't really make sense to me,

1482
01:04:57,680 --> 01:05:01,080
Speaker 4: But after reading it, I get it because no one

1483
01:05:01,200 --> 01:05:03,040
Speaker 4: is looping in op and he's like, I just need

1484
01:05:03,120 --> 01:05:04,400
Speaker 4: to take a step out of this.

1485
01:05:04,680 --> 01:05:08,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, Opie is consistently being intentionally left out.

1486
01:05:08,840 --> 01:05:11,760
Speaker 4: We had discussed sash plan to take a trip at Christmas.

1487
01:05:12,080 --> 01:05:15,840
Speaker 4: The problem there is they haven't mentioned any ideas, don't

1488
01:05:15,880 --> 01:05:18,880
Speaker 4: react when I make suggestions, and aren't helping plan anything

1489
01:05:18,960 --> 01:05:22,320
Speaker 4: for Christmas. I'm dreadfully afraid that this will go the

1490
01:05:22,400 --> 01:05:25,240
Speaker 4: same way that my end of summer trip went. Nothing

1491
01:05:25,280 --> 01:05:28,160
Speaker 4: will be planned, and we will ultimately be guilted into

1492
01:05:28,240 --> 01:05:29,720
Speaker 4: going to the in laws for Christmas.

1493
01:05:29,920 --> 01:05:32,600
Speaker 2: Isn't there hasn't there already already been a Christmas in

1494
01:05:32,680 --> 01:05:33,040
Speaker 2: the story.

1495
01:05:33,520 --> 01:05:36,640
Speaker 4: I do believe that they maybe were talking about the

1496
01:05:36,720 --> 01:05:40,360
Speaker 4: future Christmas and I misunderstood. Okay, Yeah, so I don't

1497
01:05:40,360 --> 01:05:44,440
Speaker 4: think that happened, but they had planned. Yeah, so I

1498
01:05:44,520 --> 01:05:47,160
Speaker 4: think that there the plan that they had mentioned was

1499
01:05:47,200 --> 01:05:50,480
Speaker 4: saying originally it was op and the family were going

1500
01:05:50,520 --> 01:05:51,960
Speaker 4: to hang out for Christmas and the in laws were

1501
01:05:52,000 --> 01:05:54,680
Speaker 4: going to come before. But now it seems like they're saying, oh,

1502
01:05:54,760 --> 01:05:56,560
Speaker 4: we want to hang out on Christmas, got it?

1503
01:05:57,000 --> 01:05:57,200
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1504
01:05:57,400 --> 01:06:01,360
Speaker 4: I think therapy would be beneficial for all parties, solo

1505
01:06:01,560 --> 01:06:04,960
Speaker 4: or group. I enjoy therapy and its benefits. That said,

1506
01:06:05,080 --> 01:06:07,360
Speaker 4: you can't make anyone go who doesn't want to. This

1507
01:06:07,600 --> 01:06:11,560
Speaker 4: constant silence, strange strain from the in laws is destroying

1508
01:06:11,680 --> 01:06:15,000
Speaker 4: our marriage. My spouse and their parents are terrible at

1509
01:06:15,040 --> 01:06:20,240
Speaker 4: communicating very clear, that so clear, and they're even worse

1510
01:06:20,320 --> 01:06:25,120
Speaker 4: with boundaries. Yeah, my spouse is so fearful of their

1511
01:06:25,160 --> 01:06:28,040
Speaker 4: mother and upsetting her that they willingly sacrifice their likes

1512
01:06:28,080 --> 01:06:30,400
Speaker 4: and desires as well as our joint ones for our family.

1513
01:06:31,160 --> 01:06:33,320
Speaker 4: I have expressed for years now that I feel second

1514
01:06:33,400 --> 01:06:36,160
Speaker 4: best to my spouse's parents. They always seem to get

1515
01:06:36,200 --> 01:06:38,760
Speaker 4: what they want, despite my spouse and I agreeing that

1516
01:06:38,880 --> 01:06:41,320
Speaker 4: it's not what we want, but you know what we

1517
01:06:41,520 --> 01:06:44,280
Speaker 4: want for you to join us live every weekday at

1518
01:06:44,280 --> 01:06:48,040
Speaker 4: three PMPSD on YouTube, Facebook, and TikTok. Just top our

1519
01:06:48,080 --> 01:06:50,280
Speaker 4: profile and there is a little bit left. But do

1520
01:06:50,280 --> 01:06:51,800
Speaker 4: you have any final thoughts on this story?

1521
01:06:52,240 --> 01:06:55,040
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, you don't need to go to therapy with

1522
01:06:55,520 --> 01:06:59,479
Speaker 2: the parents, Tommy. Yeah, it's they're not putting a strain

1523
01:06:59,560 --> 01:07:04,560
Speaker 2: on the relationlationship, the fact that your partner is taking

1524
01:07:04,600 --> 01:07:08,040
Speaker 2: you out of essentially so many decisions through either not

1525
01:07:08,400 --> 01:07:11,760
Speaker 2: op being open with you, not sharing information or intentionally

1526
01:07:11,840 --> 01:07:16,480
Speaker 2: holding back information, or intentionally lying and deceiving about information.

1527
01:07:17,040 --> 01:07:20,440
Speaker 2: And essentially it seems like from our vantage point of

1528
01:07:20,680 --> 01:07:23,200
Speaker 2: the story being told this way, it seems like the

1529
01:07:23,400 --> 01:07:27,080
Speaker 2: number one issue is that your spouse is not communicating

1530
01:07:27,560 --> 01:07:30,160
Speaker 2: yes or absolutely heating very poorly.

1531
01:07:30,080 --> 01:07:32,560
Speaker 4: No, and I mean even yeah, opis saying to your

1532
01:07:32,640 --> 01:07:35,800
Speaker 4: point of about like Opie saying, oh, this is the

1533
01:07:36,280 --> 01:07:40,360
Speaker 4: parents putting strand honestly, they haven't done a lot of

1534
01:07:40,440 --> 01:07:43,840
Speaker 4: crazy stuff. They invited the you know, your spouse over

1535
01:07:44,040 --> 01:07:46,840
Speaker 4: to stay with us, to stay with them, in which

1536
01:07:46,920 --> 01:07:48,760
Speaker 4: case your spouse could have said no, I can't do that,

1537
01:07:48,840 --> 01:07:50,760
Speaker 4: I have this plans like these are all things that

1538
01:07:50,840 --> 01:07:52,920
Speaker 4: your spouse could have just said no, I can't do that,

1539
01:07:53,680 --> 01:07:56,200
Speaker 4: but didn't, And so it's Yeah, I think it's definitely

1540
01:07:56,680 --> 01:08:00,200
Speaker 4: your spouse is not setting those boundaries and as not

1541
01:08:00,280 --> 01:08:03,400
Speaker 4: communicating with you, And a lot of people were saying,

1542
01:08:04,080 --> 01:08:06,800
Speaker 4: maybe divorce to separation kind of already seems like you

1543
01:08:06,920 --> 01:08:08,440
Speaker 4: guys are separated too.

1544
01:08:09,200 --> 01:08:13,240
Speaker 2: Well, it's just like the parents would honestly be a

1545
01:08:13,320 --> 01:08:16,160
Speaker 2: slight annoyance. Yeah, if you guys were a team, yes,

1546
01:08:16,280 --> 01:08:19,679
Speaker 2: but you're not, because like the parents have no really

1547
01:08:19,840 --> 01:08:22,960
Speaker 2: control over these things. But the fact that the spouse

1548
01:08:23,280 --> 01:08:26,120
Speaker 2: is giving control over to them is why they're having

1549
01:08:26,160 --> 01:08:30,640
Speaker 2: so much influence on the relationship exactly. And if this

1550
01:08:30,920 --> 01:08:33,640
Speaker 2: is going to work out, like you guys need to

1551
01:08:33,840 --> 01:08:37,840
Speaker 2: identify as a team. Yeah, And I think and they

1552
01:08:38,080 --> 01:08:41,240
Speaker 2: going into advice giving the promises, Yeah, I think going

1553
01:08:41,280 --> 01:08:45,160
Speaker 2: into advice giving mode. What seems like needs to happen

1554
01:08:45,560 --> 01:08:49,120
Speaker 2: is op would have to put a line down and

1555
01:08:49,200 --> 01:08:51,880
Speaker 2: saying like hey, this, this and this like the time

1556
01:08:51,920 --> 01:08:54,120
Speaker 2: you lie to me, the time you withhold that information,

1557
01:08:54,680 --> 01:08:58,120
Speaker 2: and the pattern of this is like not okay with me. Yes,

1558
01:08:58,400 --> 01:09:01,599
Speaker 2: if we want to have a healthy relationship, I need

1559
01:09:01,680 --> 01:09:04,280
Speaker 2: you to communicate in this way, this way, in this

1560
01:09:04,479 --> 01:09:08,439
Speaker 2: way and create explicit agreements around that. Yes, because of

1561
01:09:08,560 --> 01:09:12,479
Speaker 2: relationship without any agreements is no relationship at all, agreed, And.

1562
01:09:12,520 --> 01:09:16,240
Speaker 1: Also maybe talk to them about the the ADHD meds.

1563
01:09:16,280 --> 01:09:18,960
Speaker 5: That seems a good Oh yeah, the fact that your

1564
01:09:19,000 --> 01:09:21,559
Speaker 5: partner's stealing your medication is also a really big thing

1565
01:09:21,600 --> 01:09:22,519
Speaker 5: that talk about as well.

1566
01:09:23,120 --> 01:09:24,960
Speaker 4: I'm at a loss as to what to do from here.

1567
01:09:25,200 --> 01:09:26,560
Speaker 4: I'm not sure if I should have a one on

1568
01:09:26,640 --> 01:09:28,320
Speaker 4: one with the in laws, a heart to heart with

1569
01:09:28,360 --> 01:09:31,160
Speaker 4: the father in law. I don't like ultimatums and don't

1570
01:09:31,160 --> 01:09:33,280
Speaker 4: even know what it would be, but maybe it's time

1571
01:09:33,360 --> 01:09:35,760
Speaker 4: to give one to my spouse. I just don't know

1572
01:09:35,800 --> 01:09:38,160
Speaker 4: how to stop the in laws from slightly terrorizing our

1573
01:09:38,160 --> 01:09:41,120
Speaker 4: family with their wishes, and at this point it's causing

1574
01:09:41,160 --> 01:09:43,840
Speaker 4: a serious strain on my health and our marriage is health.

1575
01:09:44,160 --> 01:09:46,360
Speaker 4: That is the end of the episode. So if you

1576
01:09:46,479 --> 01:09:48,040
Speaker 4: love us, make sure to subscribe.

1577
01:09:48,280 --> 01:09:50,760
Speaker 2: We love you as see you tomorrow.

1578
01:10:00,080 --> 01:10:00,280
Speaker 3: Yeah,