Speaker 1: Hello Sunshine, Hey fam Today on the bright Side, Beverly
Speaker 1: Hill's nine oh two one oh star and podcast hosts
Speaker 1: Jenny Garth is here with us. She's talking about how
Speaker 1: she's navigated a very public divorce and co parenting, plus
Speaker 1: how a final line of dialogue from nine oh two
Speaker 1: one oh still rings truer than ever.
Speaker 2: Today.
Speaker 1: It's Monday, October seventh.
Speaker 2: I'm Simone Boyce, I'm Danielle Robe and this is the
Speaker 2: bright Side from Hello Sunshine, a daily show where we
Speaker 2: come together to share women's stories, to laugh, learn and
Speaker 2: brighten your day.
Speaker 1: On My Mind Monday is brought to you by missus
Speaker 1: Meyers Clean Day, inspired by the goodness of the garden.
Speaker 2: Simone, you know what day it is. Today is On
Speaker 2: my Mind Monday, our chance to talk about the things
Speaker 2: that we've read or seen over the weekend that give
Speaker 2: us a fresh perspective. Can I come at you with mine? Please? Okay?
Speaker 2: I read this great essay by Kelly Vaughan where she
Speaker 2: talks about deciding if she's going to take her husband's
Speaker 2: last name. So she asked friends for their thoughts, but
Speaker 2: she still wasn't sure what felt right for her. She
Speaker 2: ends up taking his legal last name, but kept her
Speaker 2: maiden name professionally. Okay, So then she gets her new
Speaker 2: Social Security card, and she said when she looked at it,
Speaker 2: she was shocked and it made her realize her maiden
Speaker 2: name meant more to her than she actually even thought.
Speaker 2: So she changed it back, and once her name was restored,
Speaker 2: she said she felt whole again. The reason I'm sharing
Speaker 2: this today is this is something I've thought about a lot.
Speaker 2: Even when I go to bachelorette parties, I usually bring
Speaker 2: this topic up. I ask all the girls there, all
Speaker 2: the women, how they feel about taking their husband's last name,
Speaker 2: and it's usually a point of debate because everybody feels
Speaker 2: differently about it. How do you feel?
Speaker 1: Well, it's really funny that this is your on my
Speaker 1: mind Monday, because I just came from a wedding and
Speaker 1: this topic came up. And you're right, everyone has strong
Speaker 1: feelings about it. Listen. I owe want to stay away
Speaker 1: from speaking too broadly about like what women should do. However,
Speaker 1: I personally have very strong feelings about this. I did
Speaker 1: not change my name. My maiden name is Boyce. I'm
Speaker 1: keeping it partly because I spent a very long time
Speaker 1: building up my career, and my career happens to be public.
Speaker 1: So people, if you've ever seen my work, it's you know,
Speaker 1: you've seen it under the name Simone Boyce. And the
Speaker 1: idea of changing my last name felt like to some
Speaker 1: degree I would be undermining my professional achievements. And I
Speaker 1: also think that I saw this modeled by my mom
Speaker 1: because my mom was an actor in the eighties and
Speaker 1: her maiden name was John's and she kept her maiden
Speaker 1: name in her work. So I kind of had that
Speaker 1: example for me when I was growing up. But my
Speaker 1: biggest problem with this is the history of it. The
Speaker 1: history of name change is rooted in the idea that women,
Speaker 1: at one point in time legally became the possession of
Speaker 1: a man. And I mean this goes back to the
Speaker 1: exchange of land and feudal territories and houses coming together
Speaker 1: and forming alliances, and in that context, women were completely dehumanized.
Speaker 1: They were property. And so have times changed. Yes, we
Speaker 1: are in a modern time where we do have the
Speaker 1: right to vote, where we do have credit cards, and
Speaker 1: I think we are recognized for our humanity more so
Speaker 1: than women were back then. However, I think it's really
Speaker 1: important to question the origins of these traditions, because, on
Speaker 1: the other hand, even in a modern context, all of
Speaker 1: the burden, all of the invisible labor of changing your name,
Speaker 1: it falls on the women. It falls on us to
Speaker 1: spend hours at the DMB filling out paperwork, communicating with
Speaker 1: the government who's notoriously impossible to communicate with, and husbands
Speaker 1: don't have to do any of this. So tell me,
Speaker 1: I mean, is that really fair.
Speaker 2: I think what's hard, though, is there's not a great
Speaker 2: solution or other option, because I do like the idea
Speaker 2: of feeling like a family unit, and you know, when
Speaker 2: you get married, if you decide to do that and
Speaker 2: you have children, then it is nice to all feel
Speaker 2: like you have the same name. I think your kids
Speaker 2: like when you go to the airport, they feel like
Speaker 2: a family unit. Not that that's necessary, but it's something
Speaker 2: I think about. The problem is there's no real solution,
Speaker 2: like do you hyphenate even if you keep your name,
Speaker 2: which name do the kids take? I just feel like
Speaker 2: we're in a time where we're questioning all of this
Speaker 2: and there's no clear solution, which is why I think
Speaker 2: everybody keeps debating it.
Speaker 1: I actually think though, that millennials have gotten really creative
Speaker 1: with this. I have a friend who combined her last
Speaker 1: name with their husbands and they both took the new
Speaker 1: last name.
Speaker 2: I do like the idea of combining names. I actually
Speaker 2: have a friend who lost her father at a young age,
Speaker 2: and so she's the only child and so keeping the
Speaker 2: family name alive was really important to her, and her
Speaker 2: husband said, I'll take your last name. That's fine. I
Speaker 2: think the meaning of the name is something that I
Speaker 2: think about. You know, I've actually asked this question to
Speaker 2: Connie Chung. I asked it to you and our producer
Speaker 2: Tim Offline. I said, what does it mean to be
Speaker 2: a blank? Whatever your last name is? Because when I
Speaker 2: think about my last name, I'm like, what does that
Speaker 2: mean to be? My real last name is Willerman? Robey's
Speaker 2: my middle name, and I'm like, what does it mean
Speaker 2: to be a Willerman? And the first thing I thought
Speaker 2: was it means to be a free thinker. And I
Speaker 2: think everybody has some association to that name, whether it's
Speaker 2: associated with their parents, their grandparents, their the hardship, the
Speaker 2: joy of their family. And it's more than a name.
Speaker 2: It's memories, it's family values. This one's complicated for me. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you know what the good thing is in twenty twenty
Speaker 2: four is women have a choice, and that's what feminism
Speaker 2: is all about. It's about choice. So which whatever feels
Speaker 2: right for you is the right choice. But speaking of identity,
Speaker 2: we have somebody who thought about their identity a lot
Speaker 2: as they moved through marriage and divorce. Jenny Garth is
Speaker 2: here with us today.
Speaker 1: Yes, you might remember her as Kelly Taylor from Beverly
Speaker 1: Hills nine oh two one oh, the role that sky
Speaker 1: rocketed her into fame. Jenny appeared on all ten seasons
Speaker 1: of the show, which ran from nineteen ninety to two thousand.
Speaker 1: It's hard to think about what TV would look like
Speaker 1: today without the impact of nine oh two one oh.
Speaker 2: When I tell you I used to fake sick for
Speaker 2: school to stay home and watch nine oh two one oh,
Speaker 2: I am not lying. I loved that show. That was
Speaker 2: like I love Saved by the Bell, and then I
Speaker 2: discovered nine oh two one oh, and I thought I
Speaker 2: have seasons to catch up on same Well.
Speaker 1: In twenty fourteen, Jenny Garth added author to her resume
Speaker 1: with her memoir titled Deep from a Hollywood Blonde, and
Speaker 1: now she's the host of her podcast I Choose Me,
Speaker 1: where she interviews celebrities, friends and family members, including a
Speaker 1: very powerful conversation with her ex husband Peter Fatchinelli.
Speaker 2: She also recently launched a clothing line called Me by
Speaker 2: Jenny Garth, and she's entering a new decade her fifties,
Speaker 2: so I can't wait to ask all about how she's
Speaker 2: approaching this new chapter and the mantra that she lives by,
Speaker 2: which is I Choose Me. Jenny Garth is joining us
Speaker 2: right after the break Stay with us.
Speaker 1: Thanks to our partners at missus Myers. You can learn
Speaker 1: a lot about a person by their dish soap. Missus
Speaker 1: Meyers's collection of household products are inspired by the garden
Speaker 1: and pack up punch against dirt and grime. Visit missus
Speaker 1: Myers dot com.
Speaker 2: Jennie Garth, Welcome to the bright Side. Oh that's sound
Speaker 2: so nice. We're so happy to have you. Simone and
Speaker 2: I have been talking about this interview for quite some time.
Speaker 2: And this mantra that you have, I Choose Me. I
Speaker 2: didn't realize that it actually came from a line in
Speaker 2: nine O two one zero, but you've really given it
Speaker 2: new life. What did it mean to you then versus now?
Speaker 3: I know it's so crazy, right that it's all it's
Speaker 3: from the nineties, like it's from the OG Show. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it was that moment when Kelly had to choose between
Speaker 3: Brandon and Dylan and she was put on the spot
Speaker 3: and she said, I can't choose either of you. I
Speaker 3: choose myself. I choose me. And I didn't really understand
Speaker 3: like the levity of that statement when I was twenty two.
Speaker 3: Probably I just I didn't really get it until years
Speaker 3: later when I started hearing it from fans that I
Speaker 3: would meet, especially women who grew up watching it, and
Speaker 3: they would be like, oh my gosh, that line I
Speaker 3: choose me such an effect on me. I never knew
Speaker 3: I could choose myself in moments like that, and I
Speaker 3: was like, wait, what, And it just started to make
Speaker 3: sense on a different level for me, and I thought,
Speaker 3: this message has to be brought back around. It has
Speaker 3: to be amplified, because I was in a place where
Speaker 3: I was like, what am I doing with my life?
Speaker 3: I don't really enjoy like the whole rigamow of making
Speaker 3: television or movies anymore. I don't like sitting around waiting,
Speaker 3: I don't like auditioning, I don't like waiting to be
Speaker 3: rejected or accepted. So yeah, here I am. I have
Speaker 3: a podcast called I Choose Me. I have a clothing
Speaker 3: brand called Me. I'm coming out with a perfume called Me,
Speaker 3: Like I'm going for it because I've always had so
Speaker 3: much to share with people. I'm just not the right
Speaker 3: way in and I'm just this is it, this is
Speaker 3: the moment for I choose me in every way.
Speaker 1: I'm so curious how you choose yourself on a daily basis,
Speaker 1: because in theory it sounds great, but the reality is
Speaker 1: life happens. Like I'm a young mom of like two
Speaker 1: little boys, you know, who are four and two, and
Speaker 1: it's it's hard to choose me, just being completely honest.
Speaker 1: And you know you have a very full life too,
Speaker 1: You've got three beautiful kids. So how do you choose
Speaker 1: yourself on a daily basis?
Speaker 3: Like, what does that look like, Jenny? I mean there
Speaker 3: were years where I was in the same position as you,
Speaker 3: little kids underfoot, relying on me one hundred percent and
Speaker 3: working full time and trying to keep a marriage alive
Speaker 3: and trying to be a good sister and daughter, and
Speaker 3: it was really hard. So to be truthful with you,
Speaker 3: I now can go back and say, yeah, I was
Speaker 3: in the same boat. I didn't choose myself when I
Speaker 3: was a young mom because I didn't know I could
Speaker 3: and I didn't know I needed to. And so now
Speaker 3: as my daughters have all grown up a little bit
Speaker 3: and they meet me a little bit less, I started
Speaker 3: having a little extra time on my hands and thinking
Speaker 3: about things and having like ten minutes in the bathroom
Speaker 3: to myself, just taking those little opportunities. At first too,
Speaker 3: I'm not going to do the dishes right now, because
Speaker 3: right now is an opportunity for me to sit down
Speaker 3: in journal, or sit down and read a book, or
Speaker 3: just sit down and stare out the window. The dishes
Speaker 3: will be there when I'm done, you know. So it
Speaker 3: was just like little minute things like that for a
Speaker 3: long time. That then, as I got more and more
Speaker 3: time and I was able to see the benefits of
Speaker 3: that kind of self care and those choices, that I
Speaker 3: was like, Okay, I need to work this more into
Speaker 3: my daily schedule. So then I actually just start putting
Speaker 3: it on my calendar, like and it's like it's an appointment.
Speaker 3: I get up every morning at seven am and I
Speaker 3: go to the gym and that's my hour to take
Speaker 3: care of my body physically and also you know, mentally,
Speaker 3: and your world starts to open up about how you
Speaker 3: can take more and more. I choose me moments. And
Speaker 3: I was told this when I was all my life.
Speaker 3: You can't really truly love others until you love yourself.
Speaker 3: And I was like, oof, that's really lame. I you know, like, okay,
Speaker 3: I'll love myself in about two hours when I'm done
Speaker 3: with this. But I realize now that it's so true,
Speaker 3: Like you have a different presence about you when you
Speaker 3: are taken care of by yourself. It rubs off on
Speaker 3: the people around you and the people that work with you,
Speaker 3: and the people in your home. In essence, choosing yourself
Speaker 3: is choosing the people that you love too.
Speaker 1: Well, speaking of the people that you love, your daughter
Speaker 1: Lola interviewed you on your podcast about turning fifty and
Speaker 1: your next chapter. Danielle and I interviewed a woman who
Speaker 1: runs this community called Glorious Broad's, and we have this
Speaker 1: wide ranging conversation about growing older, and she says that
Speaker 1: she called the fifties the fit fifties, like where you
Speaker 1: just have zero f's left to give. And I'm so
Speaker 1: curious what your take on the fifties has been so far.
Speaker 3: Definitely not fucket fifties, because I'm so intentionally choosing my health,
Speaker 3: what I eat, and how I exercise. Like everything becomes
Speaker 3: so much more important as you get older and you're
Speaker 3: able to really prioritize your time and be selective about
Speaker 3: what you want to spend your time on. And so
Speaker 3: I feel more intentional and more just collected and grounded,
Speaker 3: and like, I have a vision for what I want
Speaker 3: for my future, and I have a vision for what
Speaker 3: I want to provide my grown up children with now,
Speaker 3: what I want to be able to give them, And
Speaker 3: so that drives me and fuels me to really stay
Speaker 3: connected to what I want and my plan.
Speaker 2: I think that when people talk about aging, there's this
Speaker 2: pressure that's like assigned to them because now, all of
Speaker 2: a sudden, there's expectations or criticism if they don't go
Speaker 2: all in on the concept of like aging completely natural.
Speaker 3: So I'm dying to.
Speaker 2: Hear what you think about this, Like do you feel
Speaker 2: pressure to not dye your hair or to dye your hair?
Speaker 2: Like how do you think about all of it?
Speaker 3: I have been under scrutiny my entire life and my
Speaker 3: livelihood has been predicated on how I look. Yeah, and
Speaker 3: that has really fucked me up. You guys, like I
Speaker 3: think anybody that can imagine themselves in my position as
Speaker 3: a young girl being the hot one on the show,
Speaker 3: or the pretty one of the blonde or the mill
Speaker 3: for all the things as generate as you go through
Speaker 3: the decades, like what it is that you represent to people,
Speaker 3: what they remember from you, what they want to see
Speaker 3: when they look at you, what they expect from you.
Speaker 3: That has been an immense amount of pressure and something
Speaker 3: I've never had the capacity to process and actually confront
Speaker 3: and deal with until now. It was a different kind
Speaker 3: of mental pressure that goes really really deep into someone's psyche.
Speaker 3: And it's hard to ever really talk about it or
Speaker 3: acknowledge it because it seems so superficial and seems so
Speaker 3: you know, there are much bigger problems.
Speaker 2: Well, it's hard for people to think like, oh, I'm
Speaker 2: so sorry you were so hot exactly like, oh, you're
Speaker 2: you're sad, sad life, right, yeah, but you're almost in
Speaker 2: jail in your own brain.
Speaker 3: It's how you process it all and think of it.
Speaker 3: Because I'm my worst critic and I don't know if
Speaker 3: other people feel this way or not. But like I
Speaker 3: do read comments, I have to curb myself now. But
Speaker 3: like I have read the comments and I do see
Speaker 3: the hateful things that people say. Well, I don't know,
Speaker 3: but like it does, Deke, it's old and you just
Speaker 3: have to learn how to navigate it, which I have
Speaker 3: done and I'm still doing. And also it's just I
Speaker 3: think it goes back to that like loving yourself and
Speaker 3: being able to go back and look at all that
Speaker 3: you were dealt and then also to just look at
Speaker 3: what all the things you have that you're grateful for,
Speaker 3: and you just keep going when you work through it,
Speaker 3: and it just it manifests in a different way and
Speaker 3: you're able to like put it in a compartment and
Speaker 3: move forward.
Speaker 2: You recently started a clothing line me by Jenny Garth,
Speaker 2: and looking at your website, I really like how inclusive
Speaker 2: it feels. It's women of all ages sizes. You know,
Speaker 2: people create new brands to fill a gap in an
Speaker 2: existing space. What gap are you trying to fill with
Speaker 2: your brand?
Speaker 3: I'm trying to fill the gap that I'm in because
Speaker 3: I don't feel comfortable in certain things, and my comfort
Speaker 3: is a huge priority to me now than more than
Speaker 3: it ever was. Like, I've been on uncomfortable clothes all
Speaker 3: my life. I've worn heels all my life. I want
Speaker 3: to feel beautiful and strong and independent in my clothes
Speaker 3: and maybe don't want to show as much of my
Speaker 3: body sometimes, or maybe I do. I don't know, but
Speaker 3: I want to have the option, and I wanted to
Speaker 3: create clothing that did just that, that gave women in
Speaker 3: my bracket, either younger or older, that same feeling of like,
Speaker 3: I know I can throw this on and feel good
Speaker 3: in my skin and go out and kill the world.
Speaker 3: Just spreading the message to women my age that you
Speaker 3: don't have.
Speaker 2: To dress Yes, older, fifty in twenty twenty four is
Speaker 2: really different than fifty in two thousand.
Speaker 1: Even, Hello Chicos Talbots, That's what I remember doing shopping
Speaker 1: with my mom.
Speaker 2: So funny.
Speaker 3: Yeah, remember the Golden Girls. They were in their fifties,
Speaker 3: you guys, that's wild.
Speaker 2: There's all those hilarious memes where they put like a
Speaker 2: j Lo photo next to the Golden Girls and they're like,
Speaker 2: this is fifty.
Speaker 3: I don't know about that's yelo, but wow, that's a
Speaker 3: pretty high level. Just live up to.
Speaker 2: We all have a person that we go to our
Speaker 2: ideas with. I have like three people that I really
Speaker 2: trust to tell me the truth when you were creating
Speaker 2: this line, who is that person for you? Like, who
Speaker 2: did you share the vision of this brand with.
Speaker 3: I had a very clear vision of what I wanted
Speaker 3: to do and the aesthetic of it all. But I
Speaker 3: did the very onset of going down this road of
Speaker 3: doing a clothing brand. I brought my daughter in and
Speaker 3: she's twenty one, Lola, and I thought this would be
Speaker 3: such an amazing opportunity for her to learn the business.
Speaker 3: And she's been a part of every aspect of it,
Speaker 3: on the business side and on the creative side. And
Speaker 3: she really does bring a beautiful, a younger perspective, and
Speaker 3: we talk about let's merge the things that you love
Speaker 3: and the things that I love, and let's see if
Speaker 3: we can find a balance for our customers. And besides that,
Speaker 3: I just love working with her every day. We have
Speaker 3: a great relationship and this is just only making it better.
Speaker 1: I'm curious what her perspective on aging is because I
Speaker 1: think a lot of how we view aging comes from
Speaker 1: our parents. I can remember growing up, my mom had,
Speaker 1: you know, an infinite amount of like serums and creams,
Speaker 1: and I always thought that she was just skin goals,
Speaker 1: Like having healthy skin became a goal for me because
Speaker 1: of her.
Speaker 3: I think that Lola would probably say, I mean, I
Speaker 3: could pull her in here and make her answer you,
Speaker 3: But I think that Lola would say that she's inspired
Speaker 3: by me, and all my daughters are always looking to
Speaker 3: meet their mom to show them the way and what
Speaker 3: it can be like and what feels good and what doesn't.
Speaker 1: I'm thinking about the world that they're growing up in today,
Speaker 1: and it's so different from the environment that Danielle and
Speaker 1: I came up in and the world that you came
Speaker 1: up in, Jenny. And something that we've been saying around
Speaker 1: the office as we prepared for this conversation is nine
Speaker 1: h two one zero walked so Euphoria could run. Euphoria
Speaker 1: is like this shock to the system, even for modern viewers.
Speaker 3: But I'm curious, was it.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh my, I couldn't watch it. It
Speaker 2: made me sad.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that was too much.
Speaker 2: It's too much for me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, So how are you you've clearly seen it, Like,
Speaker 1: how are you processing just how far teen TV programming
Speaker 1: has come.
Speaker 3: I really can't even think about it. It's funny. Like
Speaker 3: my daughter Luca, the first one, grew up watching Barney
Speaker 3: until she was like in middle school, The Brady Bunch.
Speaker 3: You know, it's very like, these are the things that
Speaker 3: are not going to corrupt your little brain and your soul.
Speaker 3: But now, like I say it to my youngest daughter Fiona, like,
Speaker 3: please don't watch stuff that's disturbing. There's no point in
Speaker 3: it for you. Nothing good is going to come from that.
Speaker 3: To the younger generation, they're so used to it now
Speaker 3: that it's so present everywhere they are, everywhere they look like.
Speaker 3: It's such a different world. And it makes me feel
Speaker 3: again one hundred years old, to think that it's changed
Speaker 3: so radically. But it's wild how much the world changes
Speaker 3: and how quickly it changes. And I never ever believe
Speaker 3: that when I was younger, but now I see it
Speaker 3: from a completely different point of view.
Speaker 2: We have to take a quick break, but we'll be
Speaker 2: right back with Jenny Garth.
Speaker 3: Stay with us, and we're back with Jenny Garth.
Speaker 2: Throughout your life, you faced some incredibly challenging transitions, navigating
Speaker 2: child stardom, finding balance and co parenting after divorce, most recently,
Speaker 2: coping with the profound loss of your friend Shannon Doherty,
Speaker 2: and each of these experiences involves not just moving on,
Speaker 2: to be honest, I don't know if I believe in that,
Speaker 2: but fundamentally reshaping your life. How have these moments influenced
Speaker 2: your understanding of resilience and what insights have you gained
Speaker 2: about rebuilding your life after profound change or loss.
Speaker 3: I've had a lot of incredible moments in my life,
Speaker 3: and I'm so rightful for the show and the trajectory
Speaker 3: of how I'm still talking about it and people still
Speaker 3: love it and I still love it and I'm not
Speaker 3: embarrassed by it. So I feel like when bad things happen,
Speaker 3: you just have to go back to how grateful you
Speaker 3: are for your life. For me, I really believe in
Speaker 3: feeling my feelings. I know, I know what happens when
Speaker 3: you stuff your feelings and you compartmentalize and you don't
Speaker 3: process things and you don't clean out the closet. So now,
Speaker 3: at this point in my life, after going through so
Speaker 3: many deaths and just big moments and moments of triumph
Speaker 3: and moments of despair, being in a place in my
Speaker 3: life where I didn't know what the future was, I
Speaker 3: didn't know what I was going to do. There have
Speaker 3: been so many times when I've been really lost. I
Speaker 3: say that because I'm on the other side, and the
Speaker 3: only way to get to the other side of something
Speaker 3: is to go through it, not around it. Allow your
Speaker 3: body to feel the pain, and then work to get
Speaker 3: it out of your body. You have to dig in
Speaker 3: sometimes and look within and really acknowledge the reality of
Speaker 3: your life and what you're going through and what you're
Speaker 3: dealing with, and in doing that it really does help
Speaker 3: you to get through it quicker and more gracefully.
Speaker 2: What was the one that you felt like you weren't
Speaker 2: going to make it on the other side of.
Speaker 3: Oh everyone, you guys, I am dramatic. I'm like sometimes
Speaker 3: I laugh. I'm reading my old journals right now, and
Speaker 3: I'm such a drama queen in my journals. You know,
Speaker 3: you can really let it rip in there with your rage,
Speaker 3: writing and all the emotional stuff.
Speaker 2: And I every.
Speaker 3: Single time I've been through an upsetting time in my life,
Speaker 3: I am leveled. Like I am a highly emotional person.
Speaker 3: I like to call it emotion full, and I'm proud
Speaker 3: of that. But I'm also I'm deeply affected by the
Speaker 3: things that happen not just to me, but to people
Speaker 3: I love, and people I don't even know, and animals everywhere,
Speaker 3: like I feel feelings like on a huge scale. So
Speaker 3: I just think that you have to learn to live
Speaker 3: with yourself and learn how you cope with things and
Speaker 3: allow yourself to be devastated sometimes in life and you
Speaker 3: can get through it and there is always something on
Speaker 3: the other side that's waiting for you.
Speaker 1: I don't have journals. I just have situations that live
Speaker 1: rent free in my head, so I have like a
Speaker 1: virtual journal up there. But I have so much respect
Speaker 1: for you, Jenny. After listening to your two part episode
Speaker 1: of your podcast with your ex husband people Fashionally, I
Speaker 1: was just blown away by your honesty and your candor
Speaker 1: and your openness. Like you did a really brilliant job
Speaker 1: with that that is not easy to do.
Speaker 3: Thank you. That means a lot to me. I had
Speaker 3: a lot of work to do after that divorce, and
Speaker 3: a lot of recovering to do, and a lot of
Speaker 3: loving myself. I would not have I would not be
Speaker 3: where I am today if it hadn't been for that happening.
Speaker 3: And you know, I share this before Peter knows this.
Speaker 3: He said to me once jin someday this is right
Speaker 3: when he was telling me, someday, you're gonna thank me
Speaker 3: for this, and I was like, are you in kidding me?
Speaker 3: I'm never going to thank you for this. You just
Speaker 3: ruined my life, You ruin our family's lives, like what.
Speaker 3: And I stayed in that place for a really long time,
Speaker 3: that place of just pain and anger and resentment. And
Speaker 3: I tried and tried and tried and tried to get
Speaker 3: through it, and tried to be better and not show
Speaker 3: my emotions to the kids. And then there was something
Speaker 3: that I decided had to change for me, because walking
Speaker 3: around with that anger and resentment bitterness was making me
Speaker 3: feel ugly. And I was convinced it was making me
Speaker 3: look ugly. Like I would look in the mirror and
Speaker 3: I would see ugly, and I would see pain, and
Speaker 3: I would see disappointment, and I just like, I don't
Speaker 3: want this anymore. Bye, Just get rid of it. And
Speaker 3: I hope that people know that that's possible if you
Speaker 3: choose to do it. It is possible.
Speaker 1: Now that you've had some time from the divorce and
Speaker 1: your kids are older, they're doing so well, they're thriving.
Speaker 1: I'm curious what your learnings are when it comes to
Speaker 1: how to talk to kids about divorce and how to
Speaker 1: support kids who are going through it, because I'm thinking
Speaker 1: of a dear friend of mine whose kids are really
Speaker 1: struggling with the fact that their parents aren't together, and
Speaker 1: I just know a lot of people would benefit from
Speaker 1: hearing your perspective on this.
Speaker 3: It sucks for the kids, you guys, I think the
Speaker 3: kids are the people that it hurts the most. It's
Speaker 3: something that is embedded in them at usually young ages,
Speaker 3: and those are the ages when they're not equipped to
Speaker 3: handle those kind of emotional traumas. You know, their brain
Speaker 3: literally just doesn't know what to do with what's happening,
Speaker 3: and they internalize it, they get mad at one or
Speaker 3: the other parent. They suffer in so many ways that
Speaker 3: I'm very aware of that. Peter had a much different
Speaker 3: perspective on it, a much more like they'll be fine,
Speaker 3: they will adjust. They are what's that word they always
Speaker 3: say about kids, resilient. They're resilient. He and I disagree
Speaker 3: on this, and we agree to disagree on this, and
Speaker 3: we have very different parenting styles because of it and
Speaker 3: through it, and even now in my home, I always
Speaker 3: want to know what you're feeling. I always want to.
Speaker 3: I want you to be honest with me or through feelings.
Speaker 3: I want to know when you hate me and when
Speaker 3: you're blaming everything on me. It's okay. I can take
Speaker 3: it because I know that I'm the only person that
Speaker 3: can take it. And all your anger and your frustration
Speaker 3: and your hurt and how it comes out in different
Speaker 3: ways and it projects into different things. I can take it.
Speaker 3: I'm your mom and I will still love you, so
Speaker 3: give it all to me. And I was like a
Speaker 3: safe space for them to really feel the feelings and
Speaker 3: talk about it and so just kind of getting through
Speaker 3: it with them and allowing your kids to feel their
Speaker 3: feelings and not taking it personally.
Speaker 2: I'm wondering how your identity shifted after the separation, because
Speaker 2: you said it hurt pretty bad.
Speaker 3: I never knew how to choose myself. I was lost
Speaker 3: at that point in my life and really trying to
Speaker 3: get through it. I didn't have the tools and I
Speaker 3: really didn't have the support. I had to sort of
Speaker 3: like hit rock bottom and be really lost for a
Speaker 3: certain period of time. And then it was not until
Speaker 3: I underwent some really important healing therapy intensive therapy that
Speaker 3: I was able to find that core of who I
Speaker 3: was and what I wanted and the healing that needed
Speaker 3: to happen, and just acknowledging and allowing it to happen.
Speaker 3: And that gave me a certain love for myself, Like
Speaker 3: I was like, Wow, Okay, look at all the work
Speaker 3: you have to do, Look at all the work you've done,
Speaker 3: Like you can do this. And I think that's how
Speaker 3: I found the place of loving myself first. And I
Speaker 3: had so much fun getting to know me and love
Speaker 3: me and picking up all the shattered pieces and like
Speaker 3: gluing them back together and molding that into something that
Speaker 3: I was proud of, and that I how I wanted
Speaker 3: to show up for the world and my daughters and
Speaker 3: for myself.
Speaker 1: Jenny, you have the most beautiful heart. But as we
Speaker 1: wrap up our conversation, this is the bright side. We
Speaker 1: wanted to end on a bright note. And something that
Speaker 1: puts a smile on my face is nineties nostalgia because
Speaker 1: it was just it was the best times. It was
Speaker 1: the best times are simpler, it was more wholesome.
Speaker 2: We were hearing, our fashion was better.
Speaker 3: I'm so glad that both of you got to experience
Speaker 3: just a little bit of the freedom of the night.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, what makes you nostalgic when you think about
Speaker 1: that time.
Speaker 3: I just think about how present everybody was with everyone
Speaker 3: and what a gift that was. And I mean as
Speaker 3: far as thestalgia.
Speaker 2: Butterfly clips eye like what we think spaghetti strap.
Speaker 3: The eyebrows, you guys, my eyebrows were pencil thin. And
Speaker 3: then I you know, I still close with my cast
Speaker 3: members and we love each other so much and always will.
Speaker 3: Like looking at them, I'm reminded of, like, well, what
Speaker 3: the nineties were so rad because we were all there
Speaker 3: and we were in it together, and we lived through
Speaker 3: that entire decade from nineteen eighty nine to two thousand
Speaker 3: on that show, and it represented so much to so
Speaker 3: many people and to us, and you know, to me,
Speaker 3: I'm so happy that I was a part of that.
Speaker 1: Do you have a favorite red carpet look from the nineties?
Speaker 1: Is there one that lives rent free in your head?
Speaker 3: There's so many bad ones. Yes, there was the Markwong
Speaker 3: narc dress that was like paper thin crape black and
Speaker 3: it like crisscrossed right here and wrappederman and I wore
Speaker 3: white satin gloves with it. It was something. But the
Speaker 3: other one that comes to my mind is when I
Speaker 3: decided to wear it was this was a designer I
Speaker 3: think too, some big person had me wear it was
Speaker 3: literally a bandana just tied around my boobs with like
Speaker 3: the point going right there and a really super super
Speaker 3: low like leather skirt with it.
Speaker 1: Those were good looks. Did you save any of the
Speaker 1: clothes for your daughters? Do they get to wear them?
Speaker 3: I wish. I'm a perjer Like. The only thing I
Speaker 3: have that's legit from the nineties is Kelly's cowboy boots,
Speaker 3: and I wear them all the time. Oh that's so cool. Yeah.
Speaker 3: They hurt my feet like no other, but I still
Speaker 3: wear them because Thank you, Jenny.
Speaker 1: We've taken up way too much of your day. Thank
Speaker 1: you so much for coming on the bright side.
Speaker 3: You're so welcome. I love chatting with you guys. Jenny,
Speaker 3: Thank you.
Speaker 1: Jenny Garth is an actor, former star of Beverly Hills
Speaker 1: nine O two one zero, and the host of the
Speaker 1: podcast I Choose Me. She's also the founder the clothing
Speaker 1: line Me by Jenny Garth. From QVC, that's it for
Speaker 1: today's show.
Speaker 2: Tomorrow, we're bringing you a live episode from Shine away.
Speaker 2: We can't wait for you to hear our incredible conversation
Speaker 2: all about imposter syndrome with author and chef Gobby Dolkin
Speaker 2: and co host of the talk Amanda Klutz.
Speaker 1: Join the conversation using hashtag the bright Side and connect
Speaker 1: with us on social media at Hello Sunshine on Instagram
Speaker 1: and at The bright Side Pod on TikTok oh, and
Speaker 1: feel free to tag us at Simone Voice and at
Speaker 1: Danielle Robe.
Speaker 2: Listen and follow The bright Side on the iHeartRadio app,
Speaker 2: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 1: See you tomorrow, folks, Keep looking on the bright side.