WEBVTT - Part One: The Dumbest Colonizer in History 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:08.040 M podcast. Shit, I'm Robert Evans. This is Behind the Bastards, 0:00:08.360 --> 0:00:11.840 the most poorly introduced podcast in the podcast game. We 0:00:11.920 --> 0:00:14.239 also talk about bad people from time to time when 0:00:14.280 --> 0:00:17.840 I'm not introducing the show badly. My guest today is 0:00:17.960 --> 0:00:25.120 Mr Miles Great. You so much. How you doing Miles Great? Since? Uh, 0:00:25.360 --> 0:00:26.720 I mean, I don't know when this comes out, but 0:00:26.760 --> 0:00:29.000 we saw each other recently. That was a pleasant experience 0:00:29.000 --> 0:00:31.600 we had. That was nice. You came up to Portland's 0:00:32.040 --> 0:00:34.680 Uh they wouldn't let us play with knives on the 0:00:34.720 --> 0:00:37.519 stage because they were cowards, but otherwise nice people. They 0:00:37.520 --> 0:00:40.920 don't respect respect the laws of the state. Yeah, exactly, 0:00:40.920 --> 0:00:45.440 blated weapons are not their their tools over there. They're 0:00:45.520 --> 0:00:51.440 they're wildly unregulated and it's beautiful. M h. Now, Miles, yes, 0:00:53.080 --> 0:00:56.160 when I when we when Sophie asked you two guests 0:00:56.240 --> 0:00:58.360 on this week's episode, and you had a simple request, 0:00:58.400 --> 0:01:02.360 which was, don't make it horribly bleak and depressing so 0:01:02.400 --> 0:01:05.399 that I want to die more or less. Not your 0:01:05.400 --> 0:01:08.800 exact words, but your sentiment, yeah, is that this was 0:01:09.080 --> 0:01:11.480 how bleak is this one going to be? Because you 0:01:11.520 --> 0:01:13.720 know these shows, these episodes, I've done a few now 0:01:14.040 --> 0:01:16.080 they kind of fall into a couple of different buckets. 0:01:16.200 --> 0:01:19.720 Some are like so out of this world, what the 0:01:19.760 --> 0:01:22.280 fuck is reality kind of thing where you're just your 0:01:22.319 --> 0:01:25.840 gob smacked because of that. Other times you're gob smacked 0:01:25.920 --> 0:01:29.880 or laughing because sometimes it's fun. Other times you so 0:01:30.319 --> 0:01:33.760 brilliantly bring the focus of the show in to talk 0:01:33.800 --> 0:01:37.200 about evil people that I found myself in a place 0:01:37.240 --> 0:01:40.480 where jokes do not exist, and the only only response 0:01:40.480 --> 0:01:43.479 I could have is, oh my god, that's so fucked up. 0:01:44.840 --> 0:01:49.880 I think you're gonna like this one. Um. This is 0:01:49.960 --> 0:01:53.400 obviously it's a story about a terrible person, thousands of 0:01:53.400 --> 0:01:58.360 people die, um, but it's um, it's a story of 0:01:58.440 --> 0:02:01.440 a of a monster that gets his come uppance in 0:02:01.480 --> 0:02:06.200 the end. This is um. Yeah, yeah, this this one 0:02:06.240 --> 0:02:10.200 should be fun and it's not um, you know, it's 0:02:10.200 --> 0:02:13.560 not mass child rape like we sometimes get into on 0:02:13.639 --> 0:02:15.360 this show. So that's nice too. Yeah. I felt like 0:02:15.400 --> 0:02:19.799 even the like prevailing sentiment from listeners was like, damn, 0:02:19.800 --> 0:02:23.239 I think that was one of the darkest episodes ever. Yeah, yeah, 0:02:23.280 --> 0:02:27.639 as it should be. It was very dark. So today, Miles, 0:02:27.639 --> 0:02:30.120 have you ever heard of a fella named William Walker? 0:02:31.080 --> 0:02:33.440 I mean that sounds like a very common name where 0:02:33.440 --> 0:02:35.400 I'm trying to rack my brain being like, I'm pretty 0:02:35.400 --> 0:02:40.200 sure I do know a William Walker. It's to to 0:02:40.280 --> 0:02:44.040 put it shortly. Um. Walker is an example of one 0:02:44.040 --> 0:02:46.359 of my favorite kind of history stories because because he's 0:02:46.360 --> 0:02:49.880 a guy who is incredibly well known by millions and 0:02:49.919 --> 0:02:52.400 millions of people around the world, very close to the 0:02:52.440 --> 0:02:55.519 United States. In fact, Um, if you go to Nicaragua, 0:02:55.520 --> 0:02:57.160 if you go to Costa Rica, if you go to 0:02:57.320 --> 0:03:01.280 Mexico's Baja Coast or Sonora. Uh. Walker is a very 0:03:01.400 --> 0:03:05.280 prominent historical figure. And even though he's an American, he's 0:03:05.280 --> 0:03:08.360 almost completely unknown in the United States today. I mean, 0:03:08.360 --> 0:03:11.919 I guess most Americans have not known his name. Um. 0:03:11.960 --> 0:03:15.560 And the reason he's well known in Baja and Nicaragua 0:03:15.600 --> 0:03:18.959 in Costa Rica is that he almost single handedly tried 0:03:19.040 --> 0:03:25.120 to conquer all of those places. What ye when recently? Um? Yeah, 0:03:25.280 --> 0:03:27.519 like the eighteen fifties, like not all that long ago. 0:03:28.000 --> 0:03:31.959 Do you really think about it? Yeah, okay, look at him. Yeah, 0:03:32.000 --> 0:03:37.840 he was like a one man colonialism. Um. That's like, 0:03:37.960 --> 0:03:43.520 it's weird the the term makes me shudder, But also 0:03:43.800 --> 0:03:47.440 I dig the dedication. If you're like I'm gonna do 0:03:47.480 --> 0:03:51.120 this whole colonialism thing just with me. Colonialism is usually 0:03:51.160 --> 0:03:53.040 the very bleakest stories, and there's a lot of I mean, 0:03:53.040 --> 0:03:56.000 obviously Walker was a horrible person who who did horrible 0:03:56.040 --> 0:03:59.880 things that impacted huge numbers of people's lives. Um. But 0:04:00.040 --> 0:04:01.800 there's also one of the things that's kind of I 0:04:01.800 --> 0:04:03.600 guess makes this a little more of an upbeat story 0:04:03.680 --> 0:04:05.960 is that this is one of those cases of colonialism 0:04:05.960 --> 0:04:08.920 that was completely unsupported by the government that of this 0:04:09.000 --> 0:04:12.520 guy's country, and so he gets his come uppance in 0:04:12.560 --> 0:04:14.520 the end, Like it's not one of those tales where 0:04:14.840 --> 0:04:17.240 he exploited these people and got away with it forever 0:04:17.360 --> 0:04:20.520 and his great great grandkids are still rich today and 0:04:20.560 --> 0:04:22.760 now that's good. They have a whole line of hotels 0:04:22.800 --> 0:04:27.360 that we constantly patronized. Is um, Is he one of ours, 0:04:27.920 --> 0:04:31.760 good old American? Oh yeah, yeah. There is no other 0:04:31.880 --> 0:04:33.840 country in the world this guy could have come from. 0:04:33.839 --> 0:04:36.720 But I thought maybe yeah, because I guess even an 0:04:36.720 --> 0:04:38.880 English guy would be like, I think we've had our time. 0:04:38.920 --> 0:04:40.719 I don't need to I don't need to be a 0:04:40.720 --> 0:04:44.159 one man wrecking crew. Yeah, you know, the English weren't 0:04:44.200 --> 0:04:46.479 really good at being one man wrecking cruise. There were 0:04:46.480 --> 0:04:49.120 more you know, that slow Nazi ship. Um, this is 0:04:49.120 --> 0:04:51.479 a very American story of a guy who just like 0:04:51.520 --> 0:04:53.920 looked at a forward several foreign countries in a row 0:04:53.960 --> 0:04:56.760 and was like, I bet I could take that. That's 0:04:56.800 --> 0:04:59.200 the truly an American attitude looking at him at Huh. 0:04:59.279 --> 0:05:10.599 Yeah about this one, Nichols rob we who cost you 0:05:10.680 --> 0:05:14.600 were the right call for guests? All right, let's get 0:05:14.640 --> 0:05:18.200 into it. William Walker was born in Nashville, Tennessee, on 0:05:18.360 --> 0:05:21.920 May eighteen, four uh. He was the first of six 0:05:22.000 --> 0:05:24.839 children of James S. Walker and Mary Norville Walker. His 0:05:24.920 --> 0:05:28.160 family was not like super rich, but they were probably 0:05:28.200 --> 0:05:30.880 like the wealthiest family or among the wealthiest family in 0:05:30.920 --> 0:05:35.159 their frontier community. Um. His father was a Scottish immigrant 0:05:35.200 --> 0:05:37.120 from Glasgow who had moved to the United States at 0:05:37.160 --> 0:05:39.719 age twenty two and started a general merchandise store with 0:05:39.800 --> 0:05:42.920 his uncle in eighteen twenty. Soon the business was successful 0:05:43.000 --> 0:05:45.000 enough that James and his uncle partnered with three other 0:05:45.000 --> 0:05:46.960 men to build a river front warehouse and by a 0:05:46.960 --> 0:05:50.279 fleet of steamboats. Now Nashville was a big old shipping 0:05:50.320 --> 0:05:53.279 hub at the time, uh, and as the nation expanded westward, 0:05:53.279 --> 0:05:56.640 the Walkers made a small fortune facilitating the movement of tobacco, corn, 0:05:56.720 --> 0:05:59.720 and cotton across the country. Since this was the early 0:05:59.760 --> 0:06:02.599 eight hundreds, all these products came from the Deep South. 0:06:02.880 --> 0:06:05.719 Uh and the Walker's business relied heavily on slavery. So 0:06:05.760 --> 0:06:09.279 the family fortunes, such as it is, is absolutely built 0:06:09.320 --> 0:06:12.000 off the blacks, the well backs. You know what I'm 0:06:12.040 --> 0:06:14.880 trying to say here. Yeah, I'll let you slide with 0:06:14.920 --> 0:06:20.200 that one. Yeah. After a few years, um, James sold 0:06:20.200 --> 0:06:22.919 out and got into the business of selling commercial insurance 0:06:23.160 --> 0:06:27.400 um which oddly enough sounds like maybe even more exploited 0:06:27.760 --> 0:06:31.800 what he was doing before. Um. I'm sure it's not. 0:06:31.920 --> 0:06:35.840 That's just my opinion of the insurance industry. Um So. 0:06:36.200 --> 0:06:38.840 James's wife, Mary was the sister of his two former 0:06:38.880 --> 0:06:41.880 business partners. Now, since his records from eighteen thirty, when 0:06:41.920 --> 0:06:45.200 William Walker was six, indicate that his family owned no slaves, 0:06:45.240 --> 0:06:47.440 which was odd for a family at their level of 0:06:47.520 --> 0:06:50.200 wealth and Nashville at that time. By the time William 0:06:50.279 --> 0:06:52.679 was fourteen, this had changed and the Walker family owned 0:06:52.720 --> 0:06:55.960 four enslaved black human beings, two men and two women. 0:06:56.320 --> 0:06:58.800 Um So, he absolutely comes from a slave holding background, 0:06:58.960 --> 0:07:02.680 grows up with us Um. Religion was also a big 0:07:02.720 --> 0:07:05.640 part of the Walker family life. His mother's family were 0:07:05.680 --> 0:07:08.279 prominent within the Baptist community, and his father was a 0:07:08.279 --> 0:07:11.120 member of the Disciples of Christ. Uh. The Walkers were 0:07:11.120 --> 0:07:13.800 described as being strong and stern, and they were also 0:07:13.920 --> 0:07:17.920 extremely political. William's mother was a good friend of Sarah Polk, 0:07:18.320 --> 0:07:21.520 the wife of future President James K. Polk. While William 0:07:21.560 --> 0:07:23.720 was a child, James was named Speaker of the House 0:07:23.800 --> 0:07:26.400 and then the governor of Tennessee. Since Polpe was a 0:07:26.440 --> 0:07:29.080 Democrat and Democrats were at the time the party of 0:07:29.120 --> 0:07:32.240 even more white supremacy than the Republicans. You can assume 0:07:32.240 --> 0:07:35.200 for yourself what kind of politics William imbibed as a child, 0:07:36.120 --> 0:07:40.840 really really wholesome stuff. Yeah, oh my gosh. A lot 0:07:40.880 --> 0:07:43.520 of people would like to move back to those days. 0:07:43.520 --> 0:07:48.840 And that's all we'll leave it. You're talking about John Kelly, Um, 0:07:48.880 --> 0:07:52.280 I'm talking about, yes, Stephen Miller. A whole lot of well. 0:07:52.320 --> 0:07:55.040 John Kelly was at least gracious enough showed his grasp 0:07:55.080 --> 0:07:58.760 of history to actually refer to like basically the antibell 0:07:58.880 --> 0:08:02.080 him South without like fully saying that we're like, I 0:08:02.080 --> 0:08:05.000 think we know what you mean. Yeah, we used to 0:08:05.120 --> 0:08:11.160 respect each other. Okay, yeah, you mean white people. Yeah, 0:08:11.200 --> 0:08:13.600 and I guess we had what we would call back then, uh, 0:08:13.720 --> 0:08:19.960 indentured independent contractors. Yeah exactly. It's like, um, I don't know, 0:08:20.040 --> 0:08:24.920 there's no good joke to me. Yeah, the one and 0:08:25.000 --> 0:08:27.600 it wasn't even good. We're just gonna breeze right on 0:08:27.680 --> 0:08:31.960 past that. Um. So. William um was recalled by a 0:08:32.000 --> 0:08:34.720 family friend at the period as very intelligent and as 0:08:34.760 --> 0:08:37.440 refined in his feelings as a girl. I used to 0:08:37.480 --> 0:08:39.439 go often to see his mother and always found him 0:08:39.520 --> 0:08:42.800 entertaining her in some way. William was devoted to his mother. 0:08:42.840 --> 0:08:45.520 His father was kind of a giant asshole, very very 0:08:45.520 --> 0:08:50.160 strict and stern. His mother was kind of more uh, 0:08:50.200 --> 0:08:53.000 someone he could like deal with and get comfort from. 0:08:53.440 --> 0:08:55.920 But she was also very ill throughout his childhood, and 0:08:55.960 --> 0:08:58.240 he often spent his mornings in her room, reading to 0:08:58.280 --> 0:09:01.360 her while she struggled to start the day. William grew 0:09:01.400 --> 0:09:05.920 into a child a contemporaries described later as cold, quiet, studious, 0:09:05.960 --> 0:09:13.679 painfully modest, slight, effeminate, almost insignificant in appearance. Uh yeah, yeah, effeminate. 0:09:13.920 --> 0:09:17.000 Um yeah, you could yeah, the the you can tell 0:09:17.000 --> 0:09:19.520 what they're trying to say there. Yeah, and I can 0:09:19.520 --> 0:09:21.720 also just see like the if we we're looking at 0:09:21.720 --> 0:09:24.320 a biopic of this guy, we're starting to see the 0:09:24.320 --> 0:09:26.520 foundations of when he goes, oh, yeah, you know what 0:09:26.559 --> 0:09:31.320 I'm gonna do, then I'll show you fucking Okay, watch 0:09:31.400 --> 0:09:36.840 me fucking a wrecking crew. Yeah, yeah, that is really 0:09:37.080 --> 0:09:40.920 the story here. Um. Yeah. He was small, thin, and 0:09:41.040 --> 0:09:43.199 not very masculine at a time when that was something 0:09:43.200 --> 0:09:46.560 a boy would pay dearly for. Um. The only physical 0:09:46.559 --> 0:09:48.840 feature that stood out about him were his eyes, which 0:09:48.840 --> 0:09:51.280 were a unique shade of gray that people without his 0:09:51.440 --> 0:09:54.360 throughout his life would notice. Everybody would commented on this 0:09:54.400 --> 0:09:56.240 guy's eyes. He's just sort of one of those people 0:09:56.240 --> 0:09:59.800 who everyone's like that dude's eyes are fucking something's up there, right. 0:10:00.080 --> 0:10:01.720 It's never the ones you're like, oh my god, you 0:10:01.760 --> 0:10:04.800 have such beautiful eyes. It's always like, yo, did you 0:10:04.800 --> 0:10:07.880 see the fucking guy's eyes. You see that dude's eyes? What? 0:10:07.920 --> 0:10:11.280 Then I think he's kind of conquered Nicaragua. Yeah, he 0:10:11.360 --> 0:10:19.160 looks like he's transitioning into some kind of zombie or wraith. Yeah. Yes, um, Now, 0:10:19.240 --> 0:10:22.720 possibly due to his mother's sickness. Williams classmates found him 0:10:22.760 --> 0:10:25.880 to be grave and seemingly always afflicted by sorrow, which 0:10:25.880 --> 0:10:28.960 if you're a kid growing up in like the eighteen thirties, 0:10:29.280 --> 0:10:32.000 I guess sorrow is really the only reasonable way to 0:10:32.040 --> 0:10:35.240 approach life. But I don't think he was horrified by 0:10:35.240 --> 0:10:38.360 the injustices of his time. Um. I think that was 0:10:38.400 --> 0:10:41.040 just like we we started. That word was just used 0:10:41.040 --> 0:10:44.280 to describe what we call emo kids. Now. Yeah, he 0:10:44.480 --> 0:10:47.640 absolutely would have been. Yeah, and with his I'm sure 0:10:47.640 --> 0:10:50.320 if he wasn't like super masculine, he would have got 0:10:50.320 --> 0:10:54.080 the little fringe haircut, had like one black fingernail, and 0:10:54.160 --> 0:10:58.280 been crying to like dashboard confessional lyrics too. Yeah. Absolutely 0:10:58.360 --> 0:11:00.719 just may have been in the wrong time. This kid 0:11:00.720 --> 0:11:05.079 would have been a huge dash head. Oh my gosh. Yeah, 0:11:05.679 --> 0:11:09.640 his hopes are so high that your kiss might kill him. 0:11:09.760 --> 0:11:12.280 You just revealed something about yourself there. That's the one 0:11:12.360 --> 0:11:14.680 dashboard song I know. And I just think that lyrics 0:11:14.760 --> 0:11:17.920 are so great. I know right home cut to my 0:11:18.040 --> 0:11:24.040 full sleeve tattoo of dashboard album coverage. Uh So, Yeah, 0:11:24.080 --> 0:11:26.240 William was like quiet and kind of sad, but he 0:11:26.280 --> 0:11:29.400 was not unfriendly, and one class mate later noted, quote 0:11:29.400 --> 0:11:31.720 none in school was more ready to oblige his fellow 0:11:31.760 --> 0:11:35.360 student with a little or extra help with a difficult lesson. Um, 0:11:35.400 --> 0:11:37.240 so he's a really smart kid and he helps out 0:11:37.280 --> 0:11:39.560 his fellow classmates. A lot of kind of is known 0:11:39.600 --> 0:11:41.800 for that. I heard that very cynically, like, yeah, he 0:11:41.840 --> 0:11:45.080 was always down to teach someone a fucking lesson rather 0:11:45.120 --> 0:11:48.600 than like, hi, if you need some help with your studies. Yeah, 0:11:48.679 --> 0:11:51.640 I get the I get the legitimately helpful thing more 0:11:51.760 --> 0:11:55.400 from like reading stuff that his his fellows reported about him. Um, 0:11:55.440 --> 0:11:57.840 he was a good student, um, and developed something of 0:11:57.840 --> 0:12:00.600 a complex around his grades. Uh. When he got an 0:12:00.600 --> 0:12:03.040 answer wrong in class, he would cry, which did not 0:12:03.160 --> 0:12:08.520 help with his perceived level of manliness. Um. Yeah yeah. Um. 0:12:08.679 --> 0:12:11.640 One friend noted quote, I never saw him lively in 0:12:11.679 --> 0:12:14.120 my life. That is, I never heard him laugh out 0:12:14.120 --> 0:12:17.920 loud as boys do it play. Oh shit, yeah, you're 0:12:17.920 --> 0:12:24.199 getting some that great right kids should laugh? That's right 0:12:24.200 --> 0:12:29.680 there a red flag. Yeah, Spanish two skills haven't failed me. 0:12:30.040 --> 0:12:34.360 The non laughing thing as a team. I mean, that's 0:12:34.400 --> 0:12:37.080 a little boy. Yeah, it's dark there. That's like some 0:12:37.200 --> 0:12:40.160 real dark ship because it's usually not to like young adulthood. 0:12:40.200 --> 0:12:42.679 You meet people who have like completely just gone into 0:12:42.720 --> 0:12:46.120 themselves and don't have any joy, And I don't want 0:12:46.120 --> 0:12:48.120 to be like, you know, there's a fine line between 0:12:48.320 --> 0:12:50.040 being like it's kind of weird that this guy never 0:12:50.120 --> 0:12:52.320 laughs and like being one of those dudes who's like, 0:12:52.360 --> 0:12:55.760 why don't you smile, ma'am? But like it is like 0:12:55.840 --> 0:12:58.240 you hear, like everyone talks about this guy when he's 0:12:58.240 --> 0:12:59.800 a little kid. He's like, yeah, he never really like 0:13:00.080 --> 0:13:04.240 after played around and that is like, uh yeah, like 0:13:04.280 --> 0:13:07.120 I'm I'm in the moment if I'm just taking him 0:13:07.280 --> 0:13:09.600 and like looking at it in a vacuum, my heart 0:13:09.679 --> 0:13:14.360 kind of goes out to this young as Yeah, he's 0:13:14.400 --> 0:13:17.080 not an aspirate, Like at this point, he's blameless even 0:13:17.080 --> 0:13:19.120 of the slavery. Like he's a little kid, I can't 0:13:19.120 --> 0:13:21.920 have any choice in that. Yeah, Um, I don't know, 0:13:21.960 --> 0:13:24.040 maybe he could have grown into maybe he like he's 0:13:24.040 --> 0:13:26.800 clearly like a sensitive boy. Um, and we just really 0:13:26.800 --> 0:13:29.600 don't know enough about his actual thoughts at the time 0:13:29.640 --> 0:13:33.319 because it's eighteen thirties. And yeah, anyway, at least when 0:13:33.320 --> 0:13:35.840 they start doing that this show, like a hundred years 0:13:35.840 --> 0:13:38.840 from now, when your consciousness has been uploaded to some 0:13:38.920 --> 0:13:42.000 kind of like bio algorithm. At least we'll be able 0:13:42.000 --> 0:13:44.360 to look at like the Twitter and Facebook posts of 0:13:44.400 --> 0:13:46.960 our future fascists and be like, wow, this is what 0:13:47.000 --> 0:13:49.000 they were going through at the time. Oh no, they'll 0:13:49.040 --> 0:13:51.360 come through my Twitter and be like, well, I mean, 0:13:51.440 --> 0:13:54.520 obviously he was going to do what he did to Nicaragua. 0:13:55.360 --> 0:13:59.520 Spoiler spoiler alert for the twenty years from now when 0:13:59.520 --> 0:14:04.000 I conk Nicaragua bold not a not a colonialism thing, 0:14:04.240 --> 0:14:08.720 just like just love conquering. Yep, just just leave it 0:14:08.720 --> 0:14:12.800 at that. Yeah. Uh. In eighteen seven, when Billy was three, 0:14:12.960 --> 0:14:16.000 his grandfather, Lipscomb Norville, moved to Nashville to be with 0:14:16.040 --> 0:14:19.600 the family. Uh. Lipscomb wound up having a profound impact 0:14:19.640 --> 0:14:22.520 on growing William. Um. See, he was a veteran of 0:14:22.560 --> 0:14:25.840 the Revolutionary War, and he had fought at like most 0:14:25.880 --> 0:14:28.480 of it. Um. He'd been at the Battle of Brandywine Creek, 0:14:28.480 --> 0:14:31.280 the Battle of Trenton, the Battle of Monmouth, Um. He 0:14:31.400 --> 0:14:33.840 was one of the battle hardened survivors of the hellish 0:14:33.840 --> 0:14:37.400 winter at Valley Forge. Um. Yeah, so this like like 0:14:37.480 --> 0:14:40.400 his grandpa was like there for the fucking war. Oh 0:14:40.440 --> 0:14:45.880 my Trenton and Valley for it's like some ship. I 0:14:45.920 --> 0:14:50.440 get it. I'm a pussy. You've eaten human flesh. We 0:14:50.720 --> 0:14:55.000 know now it's starting to make sense. Your grandpa is 0:14:55.320 --> 0:14:58.040 probably has in no way can look at a sensitive 0:14:58.120 --> 0:15:01.640 child and be likes gonna work. No, he's probably chewing 0:15:01.720 --> 0:15:04.920 bullets for gum. Um, he's done with that pewter dish. 0:15:05.040 --> 0:15:09.000 I'm gonna melt down to some ket gonna make my 0:15:09.160 --> 0:15:14.800 morning bullets. You're not using that t service, are you. Uh. 0:15:14.840 --> 0:15:17.680 Norville was present at the Surrender of Charleston, which ended 0:15:17.680 --> 0:15:20.240 in defeat for the Revolutionaries, and he was imprisoned for 0:15:20.280 --> 0:15:24.120 a year as a pow. Um. So like this dude 0:15:24.160 --> 0:15:27.320 goes through it. Um. This is a big influence on 0:15:27.480 --> 0:15:31.240 William when he's young. His war hero grandfather his uncles 0:15:31.280 --> 0:15:33.960 were also major influences on his future life, because you know, 0:15:34.000 --> 0:15:37.440 William's dad was kind of very like a very boring 0:15:37.520 --> 0:15:40.560 business and stern businessman who doesn't really he doesn't really 0:15:40.600 --> 0:15:43.280 identify much with his uncles and his grandpa. He does 0:15:43.320 --> 0:15:46.320 more so uh. Four of his uncle's either founded or 0:15:46.400 --> 0:15:49.880 worked as editors at newspapers. UH. Three more got involved 0:15:49.960 --> 0:15:53.440 with local or national politics, and five served in the military. 0:15:53.920 --> 0:15:57.360 So how many how many numbers did you see? How 0:15:57.360 --> 0:16:01.320 many fucking uncles fuck load uncles? I did ten different 0:16:01.360 --> 0:16:04.920 people basically, Yeah, yeah, he's got like four seven, Yeah, 0:16:04.960 --> 0:16:09.000 like twelve uncles. I keep forgetting that we're talking about 0:16:11.880 --> 0:16:14.920 you don't survive, you don't survive Trenton and Valley Forge 0:16:14.960 --> 0:16:17.440 and then just not funk out a couple of basketball 0:16:17.480 --> 0:16:21.520 teams worth the kids. Seriously, Like, I gotta I got 0:16:21.560 --> 0:16:24.600 two starting five plus a six man for each one. Yeah. Yeah, 0:16:24.760 --> 0:16:29.280 he just goes right from war to pounding. Oh that's 0:16:29.280 --> 0:16:31.960 a real talking about real the real baby boom coming 0:16:32.000 --> 0:16:36.560 after yucking for surviving Valley Forge. It is impressive. Yeah. 0:16:36.560 --> 0:16:38.680 I mean some of those are probably his mom's uncles. 0:16:38.720 --> 0:16:42.040 I don't know. Um either way, dude as a funkload 0:16:42.040 --> 0:16:45.239 to uncles. Most of them are. They're all in journalism, politics, 0:16:45.360 --> 0:16:49.200 or the military. Um So he grows up surrounded by influential, 0:16:49.360 --> 0:16:53.800 powerful men who either exercise political power directly or through 0:16:54.320 --> 0:16:57.880 the press, or who are in the military fighting colonizing 0:16:57.880 --> 0:17:02.040 the United States, killing Native and mayor Americans Mexicans. Um 0:17:02.280 --> 0:17:04.760 So these are like the people who raise him, right, 0:17:05.280 --> 0:17:08.200 They're not. They're not just like kick back and relax 0:17:08.240 --> 0:17:10.879 if someone does some ship. You know, family, it's a 0:17:10.960 --> 0:17:14.440 high achieving family. Um, Like they're well off, but these 0:17:14.440 --> 0:17:17.399 aren't like they're not like inherited money, sort of like 0:17:17.480 --> 0:17:21.879 lazy aristocrats. They're like everybody's like up and out of 0:17:21.920 --> 0:17:26.120 bed and fucking up the continent from like eight to nine, 0:17:26.280 --> 0:17:29.840 you know, and fun the country, right, and it's just 0:17:29.840 --> 0:17:34.640 just just colonized the piss out of this this month's day. 0:17:34.920 --> 0:17:38.600 Colonize the day. That's the that's the motto in that house. Yeah, 0:17:38.800 --> 0:17:42.959 that is absolutely how this kid is raised. Um. And 0:17:43.000 --> 0:17:44.760 it's not surprising that he grew up to be a 0:17:44.880 --> 0:17:49.360 very ambitious boy. Um. In eighteen thirty seven, at age thirteen, 0:17:49.440 --> 0:17:52.119 he finished his primary school education and enrolled in the 0:17:52.200 --> 0:17:56.600 University of Nashville. Um. And Yeah, a lot of sort 0:17:56.640 --> 0:17:59.560 of like contemporary articles that you'll find talking about this 0:17:59.600 --> 0:18:03.440 guy will make it like he was a child genius writing. 0:18:03.480 --> 0:18:07.159 I found like deeply written biographies of this guy by 0:18:07.240 --> 0:18:10.040 historians say that this was actually not that unusual at 0:18:10.040 --> 0:18:12.200 the time. He was a little young, but it wasn't 0:18:12.240 --> 0:18:15.399 super weird, you know. Um, it's not many year of 0:18:15.440 --> 0:18:19.080 college is at thirteen, not for everybody. But it wasn't 0:18:19.119 --> 0:18:21.000 It wasn't weird. Oh, it's not like in the arrow 0:18:21.040 --> 0:18:23.840 we live in now, it's like this baby genius is 0:18:23.880 --> 0:18:27.200 going to college when yeah, they should be an academia 0:18:27.280 --> 0:18:30.239 for nineteen years. Yeah, he had a friend who went 0:18:30.280 --> 0:18:34.560 to college at fourteen. Like, it wasn't like super bizarre. Um, 0:18:34.600 --> 0:18:36.960 it wasn't like the norm, but it wasn't super weird. 0:18:37.119 --> 0:18:40.359 High school exists yet back then, or your primary school, 0:18:40.400 --> 0:18:41.959 you're like, yeah, you're gonna learn everything you know by 0:18:42.000 --> 0:18:45.000 fourteen and then look you can be an apprentice or whatever. 0:18:45.040 --> 0:18:47.440 Then yeah, that's kind of the thing. By like thirteen fourteen, 0:18:47.480 --> 0:18:49.679 you're starting to be an adult, like in Germany and 0:18:49.760 --> 0:18:52.840 like the eighteen seventies, at fourteen you are legally an adult, 0:18:52.920 --> 0:18:56.639 Like it's time to go. Um, So it's not that 0:18:56.760 --> 0:18:59.199 weird that he's he's you know, he's in college at 0:18:59.240 --> 0:19:02.840 Thirteens were shorter back then, right, and education was rarer. 0:19:02.880 --> 0:19:05.080 You know, Um, you want to get a head start 0:19:05.119 --> 0:19:07.720 on things before you die of cholera at age or 0:19:07.720 --> 0:19:11.320 a broken leg or a broken lake or just like 0:19:11.359 --> 0:19:14.440 a splinter from the wrong piece of world. I didn't 0:19:14.480 --> 0:19:16.359 have any I didn't have the right salve to do 0:19:16.440 --> 0:19:20.440 with the infection. Oh I got a splinter. I've loved 0:19:20.440 --> 0:19:24.639 you all. It's been a good life, serial glad. I 0:19:24.640 --> 0:19:30.880 went to college at age nine. Uh so Yeah, Um, 0:19:31.080 --> 0:19:35.240 college was rigorous. Uh for a thirteen year old boy. Um. 0:19:35.280 --> 0:19:37.720 And it's hard to imagine any modern team dealing with 0:19:37.760 --> 0:19:40.320 this level of discipline not coming out fucked up that set. Again, 0:19:40.359 --> 0:19:42.640 this was not abnormal for the time. Um. And here's 0:19:42.640 --> 0:19:45.400 how the biography William Walker's Wars, which is a very 0:19:45.400 --> 0:19:51.120 good biography, describes his his college education. Quote. Entering students 0:19:51.119 --> 0:19:54.360 were expected to be accurately acquainted with the grammar, including 0:19:54.359 --> 0:19:56.920 prosody of the Greek and Latin tongues, as well as 0:19:56.920 --> 0:20:01.480 with English grammar, math, and geography. Once admitted, students pursued trigonometry, 0:20:01.520 --> 0:20:05.520 principles of constitutional and international law, philosophy, natural history, and 0:20:05.520 --> 0:20:09.040 religious studies. Disciplined with strict students attended chapel twice a 0:20:09.080 --> 0:20:11.320 day and stood for a communal prayer before each meal. 0:20:11.640 --> 0:20:14.760 Quiet hours were enforced, and activities like horse racing, dancing, 0:20:14.840 --> 0:20:19.240 or going to the theater were strictly prohibited. Yeah no, 0:20:19.640 --> 0:20:24.680 no horse racing or dancing No, absolutely no dancing of 0:20:25.480 --> 0:20:29.000 the horse racing dancing and the miles. Every step you 0:20:29.080 --> 0:20:31.159 take is a dancer, is a step you take with 0:20:31.200 --> 0:20:35.080 the devil. Oh wow, I'm pretty sure that poster was 0:20:35.119 --> 0:20:38.680 that one of am I like kindergarten classroom? Yeah, yeah, 0:20:38.840 --> 0:20:42.240 dancing is Satan's golfing. And sadly the image was like 0:20:42.240 --> 0:20:47.560 a people break dancing. They're like, just not that kind um. 0:20:47.680 --> 0:20:49.720 I would actually argue that break dancing is the only 0:20:49.760 --> 0:20:53.119 acceptable kind of dancing. But I mean anything like the 0:20:53.200 --> 0:20:55.800 Seventh Day Adventist if you can fuck somebody up with 0:20:55.840 --> 0:20:58.879 your dance moves, like, hell yeah, just keep keeping keeping on. 0:21:00.080 --> 0:21:02.800 So William grew into an extremely devout adolescent and there 0:21:02.840 --> 0:21:05.240 was talk of him becoming a minister, but then his 0:21:05.280 --> 0:21:08.160 interest took a turn towards politics. He joined a debating 0:21:08.240 --> 0:21:11.600 society and eventually became its president. He proposed several debate 0:21:11.640 --> 0:21:14.600 topics during his time, including was it politic for the 0:21:14.640 --> 0:21:17.760 French to assist the US and the American Revolution, was 0:21:17.800 --> 0:21:21.520 it preferable a monarchical or republican form of government? And 0:21:21.800 --> 0:21:24.399 has the career of Napoleon Bonaparte been of benefit or 0:21:24.440 --> 0:21:29.520 injury to the world Wow. Yeah, hot take Steven. Pose 0:21:29.640 --> 0:21:32.720 those questions, sir, some hot takes. Notice one of them 0:21:32.760 --> 0:21:35.000 is wondering like whether it was worthwhile for the for 0:21:35.000 --> 0:21:39.280 France to intervene in a foreign nations like political development militarily, 0:21:39.359 --> 0:21:42.280 and the others wondering is this imperialist warlord was he 0:21:42.320 --> 0:21:46.040 good for history? Yeah, I'm just asking what he's thinking. 0:21:46.040 --> 0:21:48.000 I'm just asking. I'm just I don't really have an 0:21:48.040 --> 0:21:49.760 opinion on it. I'm just seeing what you mean. It's 0:21:49.760 --> 0:21:51.919 a question, you know, I don't know. Maybe I have 0:21:52.000 --> 0:21:53.240 one and I'm not gonna share it with you, but 0:21:53.240 --> 0:21:54.480 i just want to see where that how that sort 0:21:54.480 --> 0:21:56.120 of stacks up with the rest of the world. But anyway, 0:21:56.400 --> 0:21:59.480 just asking. I mean, I'm a big Napoleon fan, not 0:21:59.640 --> 0:22:03.120 of his conquering but of his fucking um huge Oh 0:22:03.160 --> 0:22:06.640 my gosh, that dude. Yeah. Oh he was landing. Oh 0:22:06.720 --> 0:22:11.920 my god, like a fucking Mario man. No oh yeah, 0:22:11.960 --> 0:22:18.720 here we go. Oh yeah. So um. William graduated summa 0:22:18.760 --> 0:22:21.359 cum lauda on October third, eighteen thirty eight, half a 0:22:21.400 --> 0:22:24.080 year after his fourteenth birthday, So college wasn't long back 0:22:24.119 --> 0:22:27.680 then either. By this time, his interest had changed yet again. 0:22:27.760 --> 0:22:30.040 And he decided to seek a medical degree. First, he 0:22:30.119 --> 0:22:33.000