WEBVTT - Amanda Kloots: What Nick's Death Taught Her About Living 0:00:00.240 --> 0:00:02.560 Welcome back to she Pivots. I'm a Mendaklutes. 0:00:13.039 --> 0:00:16.560 Welcome back to she Pivots, the podcast where women share 0:00:16.680 --> 0:00:21.360 bold career moves and personal turning points that changed everything. 0:00:22.360 --> 0:00:30.440 I'm your host, Emily Tish Sussman. Today's guest has had 0:00:30.840 --> 0:00:36.159 many pivots. She's been a radio city roquette, a Broadway performer, 0:00:36.320 --> 0:00:41.240 and a fitness entrepreneur, then a New York Times bestselling author, 0:00:41.720 --> 0:00:44.920 a daytime TV host, and now the founder of a 0:00:44.960 --> 0:00:48.760 wellness brand called Proper. And she's been many of those 0:00:48.800 --> 0:00:52.640 things at the same time. Almost every professional turn she 0:00:52.760 --> 0:00:58.480 made started somewhere personal. A divorce, a new marriage, a 0:00:58.520 --> 0:01:02.000 move across the country, as well as a sudden personal 0:01:02.040 --> 0:01:05.520 loss that reshaped everything for her and sparked a nationwide 0:01:05.560 --> 0:01:10.080 conversational shift. In twenty twenty, she lost her husband, beloved 0:01:10.080 --> 0:01:13.760 Broadway star Nick Cordero to COVID, a loss that for 0:01:13.840 --> 0:01:16.479 a lot of us shifted how we saw the realities 0:01:16.480 --> 0:01:19.920 of the pandemic at the time. Amanda has never kept 0:01:19.920 --> 0:01:22.760 her personal life and her professional life in separate lanes. 0:01:23.360 --> 0:01:26.680 She chronicled nickstory publicly, and it changed how she viewed 0:01:26.680 --> 0:01:30.160 her own work and impact. She carried her joy and 0:01:30.200 --> 0:01:32.640 her grief with her into every next step. She took 0:01:33.040 --> 0:01:37.200 writing her next chapters her own way. This is Amanda Clutes, 0:01:37.600 --> 0:01:43.200 and this is how she pivots. What is your name 0:01:43.240 --> 0:01:43.840 and what do you do? 0:01:44.520 --> 0:01:48.040 Amanda Klutes? I'm a TV host, I'm a dancer, I'm 0:01:48.040 --> 0:01:53.600 a fitness business entrepreneur, trainer, I'm a brand owner. I'm 0:01:53.640 --> 0:01:58.000 a mom. I'm a writer, I'm a producer. I'm an actress. 0:01:58.720 --> 0:02:00.640 So we're going to go all the way back. You 0:02:00.960 --> 0:02:03.840 grew up in Ohio. Tell us about your childhood. Tell 0:02:03.920 --> 0:02:04.840 us about your family. 0:02:05.360 --> 0:02:07.960 Well, there's five of us actually, so there's one boy 0:02:08.160 --> 0:02:12.680 and four girls, and so there's five kids. Gosh, you know, Emily, 0:02:12.800 --> 0:02:15.959 I had the best childhood. I'm so lucky. I grew 0:02:16.040 --> 0:02:18.960 up in Canton, Ohio. It's like this small little town 0:02:19.120 --> 0:02:21.440 in Canton, but you know, it had a lot going on. 0:02:21.600 --> 0:02:25.920 The Football Hall of Fame, is there true? Like Midwest childhood, 0:02:26.240 --> 0:02:29.680 riding bikes everywhere, you know, down to Dairy Queen. My 0:02:29.760 --> 0:02:33.360 elementary school was down the street. We played tennis on 0:02:33.480 --> 0:02:36.920 summer nights as a family and played in the backyard 0:02:37.040 --> 0:02:38.840 and grew up playing in the munth spent a lot 0:02:38.880 --> 0:02:42.600 of time with my grandparents and church every Sunday. It 0:02:42.720 --> 0:02:46.720 wasn't even an option. A lot of family time, family 0:02:46.760 --> 0:02:49.400 dinner every single night, six pm. My dad would walk 0:02:49.400 --> 0:02:52.400 through the door after working at the insurance company. My 0:02:52.560 --> 0:02:55.000 mom was a stay at home mom. She raised us 0:02:55.000 --> 0:02:57.240 all and she'd had dinner on the table and then 0:02:57.280 --> 0:02:59.200 it was our job to do the dishes that night. 0:02:59.560 --> 0:03:02.480 We fought as kids, but it was always understood that 0:03:02.520 --> 0:03:04.919 we are each other's best friends. And because I think 0:03:04.960 --> 0:03:07.400 there were so many of us, we always played with 0:03:07.480 --> 0:03:09.960 each other and vacationed with each other. You know, we 0:03:10.000 --> 0:03:13.680 didn't bring other people along. And it was a situation 0:03:13.800 --> 0:03:16.480 where if my brother had a band concert, we all 0:03:16.600 --> 0:03:19.040 were there. It wasn't like I could go to Lauren's 0:03:19.040 --> 0:03:21.120 house instead. No, no, no, no no. We came to the 0:03:21.160 --> 0:03:25.200 band concert. We supported each other. It was an amazing 0:03:25.280 --> 0:03:29.000 way to grow up. I'm so grateful for it, especially 0:03:29.040 --> 0:03:31.960 now being a mother. I felt like the luckiest girl 0:03:32.000 --> 0:03:32.440 in the world. 0:03:33.160 --> 0:03:35.760 When did performing enter the equation for you? 0:03:36.400 --> 0:03:39.400 I was in fourth grade, so the elementary school I 0:03:39.440 --> 0:03:41.600 went to stopped at third grade, and so for fourth 0:03:41.640 --> 0:03:44.080 grade you had changed schools. My brother and my three 0:03:44.080 --> 0:03:46.880 sisters at the time had all gone to this Magnet 0:03:47.000 --> 0:03:49.320 Art school. I got to go to it too, and 0:03:49.360 --> 0:03:52.560 it was the first time that I took dance, art, drama, 0:03:52.600 --> 0:03:55.440 and piano. They were electives that you had to take 0:03:55.640 --> 0:03:58.880 your first year there, and then you chose which ones 0:03:58.920 --> 0:04:01.160 you kind of wanted to allocate more time to. I 0:04:01.200 --> 0:04:03.640 took a dance class and fell in love with dancing. 0:04:03.680 --> 0:04:05.480 I was ten years old. I had never taken a 0:04:05.560 --> 0:04:07.920 dance class before then, and you would think, like growing 0:04:07.960 --> 0:04:09.800 up with all girls, we were all in ballet at 0:04:09.840 --> 0:04:11.880 you know, two years old, but it was not the case. 0:04:12.120 --> 0:04:14.920 And so I fell in love with dance and I 0:04:15.040 --> 0:04:17.159 was asked to be a part of the high school 0:04:17.279 --> 0:04:20.039 musical at the time. It was Fiddler on the Roof 0:04:20.120 --> 0:04:23.160 and they needed to have children to round out the 0:04:23.200 --> 0:04:25.239 cast because Fiddler on the Roof is all about family. 0:04:25.680 --> 0:04:27.599 You would have thought I was picked to go on 0:04:27.640 --> 0:04:30.039 the Broadway stage. I was so excited to be a 0:04:30.040 --> 0:04:32.480 part of this high school musical production, a Fiddler on 0:04:32.520 --> 0:04:35.600 the Roof and it was jess rehearsal. We were in 0:04:35.640 --> 0:04:39.159 our costumes and I did the choreography, which was raising 0:04:39.200 --> 0:04:42.080 my arms up to saying tradition, and this wave of 0:04:42.240 --> 0:04:44.640 energy fled over my body and I was like, I'm done. 0:04:44.720 --> 0:04:45.920 This is what I want to do for the rest 0:04:45.960 --> 0:04:47.640 of my life. I just knew it. So then I 0:04:47.760 --> 0:04:50.760 just was like blinders on Broadway, Broadway, Broadway. 0:04:51.240 --> 0:04:53.719 So from the beginning was it like this isn't just 0:04:53.760 --> 0:04:55.839 fun for me, but like we're all in. 0:04:56.279 --> 0:05:00.640 Yeah, pretty much. I started doing dance competitions and focusing 0:05:00.680 --> 0:05:02.640 on dance, and then I became a member of the 0:05:02.680 --> 0:05:05.120 ballet company in Canton, and I was just like, really 0:05:05.160 --> 0:05:08.320 like dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, but I just loved performing. 0:05:08.680 --> 0:05:11.000 Then in high school fell in love with singing and 0:05:11.240 --> 0:05:14.680 performing in the musicals, and I just was like this, 0:05:14.680 --> 0:05:16.640 this is what I want to do. I just knew 0:05:16.760 --> 0:05:19.000 at a young age I want to do this. I 0:05:19.000 --> 0:05:21.000 want to be a rocket, and that's what I want 0:05:21.040 --> 0:05:21.200 to do. 0:05:21.640 --> 0:05:23.360 Did you always want to be a rocket? And what 0:05:23.400 --> 0:05:24.640 was your favorite role in high school? 0:05:25.040 --> 0:05:25.240 Oh? 0:05:25.320 --> 0:05:28.120 My favorite role was Adelaide in Guys and Dolls. I 0:05:28.200 --> 0:05:30.120 still to this day if I ever got a chance 0:05:30.160 --> 0:05:32.960 to do that role like professionally, I would take it 0:05:33.000 --> 0:05:36.440 in a heartbeat. And then rockets came in because my 0:05:36.520 --> 0:05:38.800 dad took us to Radio City Music Hall to see 0:05:38.800 --> 0:05:41.719 the Easter Show, went on a backstage tour. I just 0:05:41.720 --> 0:05:44.800 thought they were the coolest group of women dancing on 0:05:44.839 --> 0:05:46.479 a stage, and I was like, well, I want to 0:05:46.480 --> 0:05:47.040 do that too. 0:05:47.520 --> 0:05:50.360 Was your family supportive of you going into the arts 0:05:50.440 --> 0:05:51.200 as a profession. 0:05:51.760 --> 0:05:54.839 Yes and no. My brother and my sisters had all 0:05:55.040 --> 0:05:59.080 graduated high school and went to four year universities in Ohio, 0:05:59.240 --> 0:06:03.000 Miami University, in Ohio University. So when I suggested that 0:06:03.040 --> 0:06:06.360 I wanted to go to a musical theater conservatory that 0:06:06.720 --> 0:06:09.640 did not equal a college degree, my mom and dad 0:06:09.680 --> 0:06:12.640 did have like a pause. They let me audition for 0:06:12.720 --> 0:06:14.640 all these schools. And I auditioned for a lot of 0:06:14.760 --> 0:06:18.240 universities too, like Michigan and Juilliard, these top schools where 0:06:18.279 --> 0:06:21.960 it is so competitive, you know, ten people they accept 0:06:22.040 --> 0:06:25.960 a year, sometimes less. It was the first time I 0:06:26.200 --> 0:06:29.360 had eye awakening as to what competition in this business 0:06:29.440 --> 0:06:33.120 was going to be. Like. I felt so depressed by 0:06:33.120 --> 0:06:35.960 it because I'll never forget I was at this audition 0:06:36.120 --> 0:06:40.680 for Cincinnati. I think Cincinnati was my first audition. Now, 0:06:40.839 --> 0:06:44.480 young seventeen year old Amanda, I was like, I'm from Ohio, 0:06:44.720 --> 0:06:48.800 Cincinnati down the street, like you know, for hours away. 0:06:49.440 --> 0:06:51.279 I'm totally going to get in this school. 0:06:51.320 --> 0:06:53.640 This is great, Like I was like, they're gonna love me. 0:06:53.960 --> 0:06:57.159 They're gonna love me. I'm hometown girl and it's the 0:06:57.279 --> 0:07:00.320 number one musical theater school and it's in my date. 0:07:00.560 --> 0:07:03.200 I prepare my things that I have to do. The 0:07:03.320 --> 0:07:06.200 dance auditions first. I nailed the dance audition that was 0:07:06.240 --> 0:07:09.120 never a problem. And I'm in line to sing and 0:07:09.200 --> 0:07:11.640 the woman in front of me goes in to sing, 0:07:11.920 --> 0:07:14.320 and I can hear. You know, you can hear. For 0:07:14.400 --> 0:07:17.760 all intents and purposes, this woman sounded like Sutton Foster. 0:07:18.320 --> 0:07:21.480 I was listening and slowly being like, I don't know 0:07:21.520 --> 0:07:23.600 if I can go in there and sing my song, 0:07:23.800 --> 0:07:26.360 which was an Adelaide song, because that's the song I 0:07:26.400 --> 0:07:29.320 did in my high school musical. So of course, I 0:07:29.400 --> 0:07:32.960 mean just wrong on every level, like of character. I 0:07:33.000 --> 0:07:36.040 would never be cast in like I should have never 0:07:36.360 --> 0:07:37.240 sang this song. 0:07:37.600 --> 0:07:41.880 I go in and sing and I'm completely like, wake 0:07:41.960 --> 0:07:45.040 up call, I don't sound like her, And I immediately 0:07:45.080 --> 0:07:45.760 just felt like. 0:07:46.360 --> 0:07:49.800 Awful, even though you were defeated, you still sang for them. 0:07:50.080 --> 0:07:52.720 I walked in the room and I sang, and you know, 0:07:52.760 --> 0:07:55.600 I did as best as I could. I walked in 0:07:55.640 --> 0:07:59.400 there already feeling like not good enough. That's never how 0:07:59.400 --> 0:08:01.800 you want to walk into an audition room ever, you 0:08:01.840 --> 0:08:04.920 know what I mean? Any room anywhere, no anywhere, any 0:08:04.960 --> 0:08:07.840 room anywhere, very good point. I go home, I go 0:08:07.920 --> 0:08:10.520 to my choir directors and I cry in their office 0:08:10.560 --> 0:08:12.400 and I'm like this, I'm never going to be able 0:08:12.400 --> 0:08:14.240 to do this. Guys like I can't sing, like these 0:08:14.280 --> 0:08:16.920 people like, I'm never going to make it. Still, to 0:08:16.920 --> 0:08:19.400 this day, I give them so much credit. They were like, Amanda, 0:08:19.640 --> 0:08:22.880 you can absolutely do this and don't let that defeat you. 0:08:23.160 --> 0:08:24.760 And we're going to help you and we're going to 0:08:24.800 --> 0:08:26.240 work on this and you're going to feel so much 0:08:26.280 --> 0:08:29.160 better all your auditions. And they convinced my mom and 0:08:29.240 --> 0:08:31.760 dad to let me go to AMDA in New York 0:08:31.800 --> 0:08:34.800 City because they were like, she's got it, She's gonna 0:08:34.840 --> 0:08:37.440 do it. And my mom and dad were like, Okay, 0:08:37.720 --> 0:08:41.360 you know, these two years equal to four years that 0:08:41.440 --> 0:08:45.160 your brother and sisters had at college, so we'll pay 0:08:45.200 --> 0:08:48.000 for it. But if after two years you're not going 0:08:48.040 --> 0:08:50.679 to have a college degree, you'll have been studying dance 0:08:50.720 --> 0:08:54.520 and music and singing in drama and good luck, you know. 0:08:54.559 --> 0:08:56.520 And it be basically like you'll be on your own 0:08:56.840 --> 0:08:59.640 and no degree. And I was like, let's do it. 0:09:01.800 --> 0:09:04.120 So Amanda makes it to New York City to pursue 0:09:04.160 --> 0:09:08.720 her dreams. She's eighteen, in an unfamiliar place, with no 0:09:08.880 --> 0:09:13.280 friends and a lot to prove coming up. The tap 0:09:13.360 --> 0:09:17.640 combo she drilled behind the bathroom door every night, the 0:09:17.760 --> 0:09:20.120 life changing phone call that came while she was in 0:09:20.120 --> 0:09:24.280 a dressing room, and a love story that starts backstage. 0:09:25.120 --> 0:09:40.520 We'll get there right after the break went to Anda. 0:09:40.720 --> 0:09:43.880 You moved to New York City at eighteen? What was that? 0:09:44.000 --> 0:09:45.040 Culture shock? Like? 0:09:45.760 --> 0:09:49.160 I had no friends for some reason, I didn't mind it. 0:09:49.360 --> 0:09:52.640 I think I just loved being in the city and 0:09:52.880 --> 0:09:55.480 I was living on the Upper West Side. The dorm 0:09:55.840 --> 0:09:58.920 was this weird hotel with a lot of old people 0:09:59.240 --> 0:10:02.000 in it. I was such a fish out of water 0:10:02.200 --> 0:10:05.280 for all intents and purposes. It was such a shock. 0:10:05.559 --> 0:10:09.120 I learned very very quickly how to survive in a 0:10:09.160 --> 0:10:11.000 good way and in a bad way. It was a lot, 0:10:11.040 --> 0:10:13.720 but I really didn't have any friends, which in a 0:10:13.760 --> 0:10:17.040 way was good because I was like laser focused on 0:10:17.080 --> 0:10:18.920 what I had to do. I just was just like, 0:10:19.120 --> 0:10:22.120 I'm here for purpose. It's not to go club in, 0:10:22.559 --> 0:10:25.560 It's to learn lines and affect my dancing and singing. 0:10:25.640 --> 0:10:27.200 And that's what I cared about. 0:10:27.679 --> 0:10:30.400 Did you start auditioning for Broadway right away when you 0:10:30.400 --> 0:10:32.280 were in school or did you wait the two years? 0:10:32.520 --> 0:10:35.200 No, you know, I'm a good rule follower or I 0:10:35.320 --> 0:10:39.120 used to be, and you couldn't audition till your fourth 0:10:39.200 --> 0:10:43.559 semester at school. I think I cheated and like went 0:10:43.600 --> 0:10:45.640 on a few when I was in my third semester, 0:10:45.840 --> 0:10:48.200 but I pretty much was like, well, no, I mean 0:10:48.280 --> 0:10:50.840 I won't be ready until my fourth semester, so I 0:10:50.960 --> 0:10:54.679 have to wait. But I yes, I started auditioning, and 0:10:55.160 --> 0:10:58.160 what a great learning experience. I was auditioning for you know, 0:10:58.200 --> 0:11:02.200 non equity, which is the Actors' Union. Until you're part 0:11:02.200 --> 0:11:03.800 of the union, you kind of you know, have to 0:11:03.840 --> 0:11:06.840 really just go for those non equity jobs. And I 0:11:06.920 --> 0:11:10.640 just remember doing my monologues from school and just you know, 0:11:10.880 --> 0:11:14.400 putting myself out there for anything and nothing, no jobs. 0:11:14.559 --> 0:11:16.160 But I was still in school, so I was like, 0:11:16.200 --> 0:11:17.960 it's fine, you know what I mean, Like I wasn't 0:11:18.000 --> 0:11:21.000 trying necessarily to get anything right away? 0:11:21.480 --> 0:11:24.520 How did you support yourself through it before acting became 0:11:24.800 --> 0:11:26.640 like the job that was paying the bills. 0:11:27.120 --> 0:11:30.319 I was in a coffee shop and I'm waiting in line, 0:11:30.400 --> 0:11:33.320 and this man in front of me has this adorable 0:11:33.679 --> 0:11:37.240 little girl, and I love kids, big family, and I 0:11:37.320 --> 0:11:39.960 was like, oh my gosh, your daughter's so cute. I 0:11:40.080 --> 0:11:42.120 was like, she's such a good How old is she? 0:11:42.360 --> 0:11:45.560 We become instant friends. I say to him, you know, 0:11:45.640 --> 0:11:48.040 as we're getting our coffee. So I'm like, well, you know, 0:11:48.200 --> 0:11:50.240 I'm so sorry that I live right around the corner 0:11:50.280 --> 0:11:52.360 if you ever need a babysitter, Like, I'm going to 0:11:52.400 --> 0:11:55.560 school here, I'm from Ohio. My family has five kids. 0:11:55.559 --> 0:11:58.040 I grew up around babies. I love babysitting. He was like, 0:11:58.120 --> 0:11:59.839 there's five kids in my family. He's like, let me 0:11:59.880 --> 0:12:01.880 get your number. He's like, I'll give it to my 0:12:01.920 --> 0:12:05.080 wife and she'll give you a call. Luckily she did. 0:12:05.200 --> 0:12:08.360 They lived across the street from me, and I basically 0:12:08.480 --> 0:12:12.360 became part of their family, and I babysat their daughter 0:12:12.679 --> 0:12:16.120 almost every day because, you know, now, being a mother, 0:12:16.200 --> 0:12:18.560 I'm like, oh my god, she won the jetpot. I 0:12:18.640 --> 0:12:22.400 was across the street, Ohio, eighteen year old, huge family, 0:12:22.559 --> 0:12:25.559 going to school. I was at her Beck and Call 0:12:26.280 --> 0:12:29.800 and she was the nicest. There's still my great friends. 0:12:30.200 --> 0:12:33.040 She was so wonderful to me, bring your laundry. She 0:12:33.080 --> 0:12:36.559 would cook for me. It was heaven. It was God 0:12:36.920 --> 0:12:39.400 sent me the two of them and that little baby, 0:12:39.440 --> 0:12:42.320 and it saved me. And that's how I made any 0:12:42.360 --> 0:12:43.280 money to survive. 0:12:43.960 --> 0:12:46.280 Like community and family. It's amazing. 0:12:46.640 --> 0:12:48.920 My friends would be going to the club and they'd 0:12:49.000 --> 0:12:52.840 be doing ski trips and I thought they were actually skiing. No, 0:12:53.000 --> 0:12:55.600 they were doing cocaine. That's how great eye was. I 0:12:55.640 --> 0:12:57.480 was like, you're going skiing every weekend? Where are you 0:12:57.520 --> 0:13:00.839 guys going? I was like, so just and I would 0:13:00.840 --> 0:13:02.600 go over there and babysit. 0:13:02.679 --> 0:13:05.640 Through this period where you're like auditioning and not getting 0:13:05.640 --> 0:13:07.760 it and auditioning and not getting it, Like how did 0:13:07.840 --> 0:13:09.959 you keep going through all the rejections? Like what did 0:13:10.000 --> 0:13:11.280 you learn about yourself? 0:13:11.800 --> 0:13:11.959 Oh? 0:13:12.000 --> 0:13:14.480 My gosh, you know nothing. At first, I was I 0:13:14.600 --> 0:13:16.400 was too young, you know what I mean. I just 0:13:16.640 --> 0:13:21.240 I didn't understand how to learn from these auditions. The 0:13:21.280 --> 0:13:25.319 first time I remember fully grasping that was the audition 0:13:25.400 --> 0:13:27.760 for forty second Street. So forty second Street was the 0:13:27.960 --> 0:13:31.480 hit Broadway revival playing on forty second Street, and I 0:13:31.520 --> 0:13:33.680 would go and sit in the front row because you 0:13:33.679 --> 0:13:36.480 could get twenty dollars student tickets in the front row. 0:13:36.600 --> 0:13:38.559 And so I saw it like ten times, and they 0:13:38.600 --> 0:13:41.800 were auditioning for replacements. It was like an open call. 0:13:42.160 --> 0:13:44.320 I was still non equity and I waited, I think 0:13:44.360 --> 0:13:47.200 probably three or four hours to be seen. And I 0:13:47.320 --> 0:13:50.560 was seen and cut right away from the first tap 0:13:50.600 --> 0:13:53.200 little combo that you have to do alone. You have 0:13:53.240 --> 0:13:55.960 to do this tap combo alone. It's like a you know, 0:13:56.120 --> 0:13:59.120 way to vet people out. I was terrible. Tap was 0:13:59.120 --> 0:14:01.800 not my strong suit, and I got cut, but I learned. 0:14:02.200 --> 0:14:04.440 I was like, this is something I need to perfect 0:14:04.600 --> 0:14:06.800 in order to get kept for the next time. I 0:14:06.920 --> 0:14:08.720 go in for forty second Street. And I knew there 0:14:08.720 --> 0:14:11.320 would be next time because they have six month calls. 0:14:11.360 --> 0:14:14.160 Every six months. The show was huge. There was a 0:14:14.360 --> 0:14:17.360 huge cast of women, so they're constantly needing replacements, and 0:14:17.559 --> 0:14:19.080 it was a show I could do. It was a 0:14:19.120 --> 0:14:21.160 show I watched and I was like, I could be her. 0:14:21.240 --> 0:14:23.360 I could be her. I could be her. So I 0:14:23.440 --> 0:14:26.320 knew that. It was like, Okay, I now understand what 0:14:26.360 --> 0:14:28.560 I need to do in order to do better the 0:14:28.600 --> 0:14:31.240 next time I come to this audition. I'm not even 0:14:31.320 --> 0:14:35.400 kidding you, Emily. I worked on my tap like it 0:14:35.560 --> 0:14:39.160 was my job. I was putting myself in every kind 0:14:39.160 --> 0:14:42.240 of tap class, extra class, And every night before I 0:14:42.280 --> 0:14:44.840 went to bed, I would close the bathroom door, put 0:14:44.840 --> 0:14:48.760 my tap shoes on, and go over that combo that 0:14:48.960 --> 0:14:51.440 is the first cut of forty second Street. And when 0:14:51.440 --> 0:14:54.880 the audition came up again, I went in and not 0:14:55.000 --> 0:14:58.400 only did I perfect that first call, but they called 0:14:58.440 --> 0:15:01.160 me back for the national tour. And I booked the 0:15:01.240 --> 0:15:03.760 national tour two days before I graduated. 0:15:03.800 --> 0:15:07.160 Anda, Oh my god, did they just feel like the greatest, 0:15:07.320 --> 0:15:10.080 like the not just a sense of accomplishment, but like 0:15:10.160 --> 0:15:10.760 you'd made it. 0:15:11.200 --> 0:15:13.360 Oh, I will never fear that I was in. Do 0:15:13.400 --> 0:15:16.880 you remember this tour Strawberry? Oh? Yeah, in New York City. 0:15:17.360 --> 0:15:21.120 I was in the dressing room of Strawberry. My phone 0:15:21.160 --> 0:15:24.720 goes off and I'm like weaseling myself out of some 0:15:24.960 --> 0:15:27.680 top because you know, all those clothes there were, so 0:15:28.200 --> 0:15:31.880 it's like, you know, nothing fits. I'm like hello, She's 0:15:31.960 --> 0:15:35.680 like as Samanda. It was like this British casting decor. 0:15:35.720 --> 0:15:37.760 I was like, yes, She's like, I'd love to offer 0:15:37.800 --> 0:15:39.960 you a position in the four to second Street National 0:15:40.000 --> 0:15:43.720 Tour and I was like, you know, I'm so bad 0:15:43.720 --> 0:15:46.120 as top. My older sister, who lived in New York 0:15:46.240 --> 0:15:50.640 was working at the Waldorf Astoria. I ran from Strawberry 0:15:50.840 --> 0:15:54.160 to the Waldorf, surprised her at work, told her the 0:15:54.160 --> 0:15:55.680 biggest news, and I was like. 0:15:55.600 --> 0:15:58.680 I'm going to go get a Venti caramel mochiato with 0:15:58.920 --> 0:16:01.680 extra caramel and extra cream at a black and white 0:16:01.720 --> 0:16:04.480 cookie and she was like, you should. That's how I 0:16:04.560 --> 0:16:08.400 celebrated my big job. I was a static. I was 0:16:08.440 --> 0:16:09.000 a static. 0:16:09.440 --> 0:16:12.160 Did the rehearsal and the show end up being what 0:16:12.200 --> 0:16:14.160 you'd wanted it to be? Oh my god. 0:16:14.200 --> 0:16:18.040 Absolutely. The contract for this tour was the first time 0:16:18.080 --> 0:16:22.800 they ever did this tier D contract for equity shows. 0:16:23.160 --> 0:16:27.080 It sounds exactly like it was Tier D no money. 0:16:28.200 --> 0:16:32.000 So the great thing about it was is that everyone 0:16:32.040 --> 0:16:35.200 in the cast was also around my age. Because the 0:16:35.240 --> 0:16:38.400 only people that could accept to your D were twenty 0:16:38.480 --> 0:16:41.680 year olds who had no responsibilities and no apartments and 0:16:41.720 --> 0:16:44.840 no life. So we were all on tour together. And 0:16:45.200 --> 0:16:48.280 we had these week or two week stops. It was 0:16:48.840 --> 0:16:53.840 so fun. I remember the first payday. This stage manager 0:16:54.280 --> 0:16:56.800 was like, everybody, pick up your checks. You know, the 0:16:56.840 --> 0:16:58.840 checks are in the office. And I looked at my 0:16:58.880 --> 0:17:02.360 girlfriend and I go, Troy, we get paid. I didn't 0:17:02.360 --> 0:17:06.359 even care that I got paid. I forgot that I 0:17:06.440 --> 0:17:09.280 was getting paid. I mean, talk about just like the best. 0:17:09.720 --> 0:17:12.119 I get three hundred dollars a week. 0:17:14.560 --> 0:17:15.760 How long did you stay on the tour? 0:17:15.840 --> 0:17:20.719 For months? Yeah? Ten months? Because while I was on tour, 0:17:21.040 --> 0:17:23.760 a couple of the girls from in the show that 0:17:23.840 --> 0:17:26.960 had become my best friends had been roquettes. So the 0:17:27.080 --> 0:17:30.239 roquette audition I knew was in August, so starting in 0:17:30.320 --> 0:17:33.399 like mid June, I had my friends in the show. 0:17:33.600 --> 0:17:36.680 In between shows, because you know you have matinees and 0:17:36.760 --> 0:17:40.399 evening shows, I would have them teach me roquette combos 0:17:40.600 --> 0:17:43.760 and judge me while I would perform them in some 0:17:43.840 --> 0:17:47.040 sort of carpeted backroom lobby of the theater or whatever. 0:17:47.440 --> 0:17:50.280 So when the audition for Radio City came up, I 0:17:50.359 --> 0:17:52.800 had gone in when I was in school two times 0:17:52.840 --> 0:17:56.320 before and got caught for the national tour of the Rockets. 0:17:56.480 --> 0:17:58.480 But I had made it very, very far. I had 0:17:58.560 --> 0:18:01.520 never gone in for Radio City, the New York City Rockets. 0:18:01.680 --> 0:18:04.280 The audition came up, and I flew to New York 0:18:04.320 --> 0:18:07.520 from tour, got the days off and booked the job, 0:18:07.640 --> 0:18:09.639 got back to tour, and these are things you just 0:18:09.680 --> 0:18:12.760 never forget. But I there's a spot at Lax Airport 0:18:12.960 --> 0:18:15.600 that was exactly where I was when I got the 0:18:15.640 --> 0:18:18.080 call that I was going to be a Radio City Rocket. 0:18:18.240 --> 0:18:20.440 Every time I walk by it to Lax, I just 0:18:20.640 --> 0:18:23.920 I see like that little Amanda getting that phone call, 0:18:24.000 --> 0:18:26.399 Like it's just like ingrained in my brain. And so 0:18:26.520 --> 0:18:30.440 I left tour and started my rocket journey. 0:18:31.240 --> 0:18:34.000 Was it as glamorous as it looks? Like? What was 0:18:34.000 --> 0:18:34.879 the rocket journey? 0:18:35.600 --> 0:18:40.120 Okay? So the rocket journey is exactly as glamorous as 0:18:40.119 --> 0:18:43.159 it looks. I mean you get to go to Radio 0:18:43.160 --> 0:18:46.800 City Music Hall for work every day. I mean, it's magical. 0:18:47.000 --> 0:18:50.160 It's where we rehearsed too. They don't now, but at 0:18:50.200 --> 0:18:52.679 the time you got to walk into Radio City, you 0:18:52.760 --> 0:18:55.680 go through the backstage. Radio City is like such a maze. 0:18:55.720 --> 0:18:57.720 You go through all these weird hallways and then there's 0:18:57.720 --> 0:19:01.720 this grand rehearsal hall and I remembered it from when 0:19:02.040 --> 0:19:04.080 I was a little girl and my dad took us 0:19:04.280 --> 0:19:07.159 on the backstage tour of radio city music halls. So 0:19:07.200 --> 0:19:10.920 now I'm twenty one and I'm rehearsing there every day 0:19:11.520 --> 0:19:14.480 and it's all women, and it's such a hierarchy and 0:19:14.520 --> 0:19:17.080 it's such a At that time, it was such a 0:19:17.200 --> 0:19:21.240 like clicky, cool girl, new girl, rookie, We're going to 0:19:21.280 --> 0:19:24.120 put you through the ropes kind of thing. The girls 0:19:24.119 --> 0:19:28.320 that had been rockets forever were so gorgeous. They were 0:19:28.400 --> 0:19:35.600 like dripping in designer clothes, hair boobs, makeup, just like 0:19:36.000 --> 0:19:39.320 glamorous and did not give you the time of day 0:19:39.560 --> 0:19:44.840 if you were the newbie. It was fabulous. It was 0:19:44.920 --> 0:19:47.359 awful and fabulous all at the same time. I just 0:19:47.440 --> 0:19:50.880 remember trying so hard. It's a military there. You don't 0:19:50.920 --> 0:19:53.000 want to mess up, but they feed on that, you know. 0:19:53.040 --> 0:19:56.040 I mean, they can smell your fear. They put me 0:19:56.080 --> 0:19:58.440 through the ropes. And because I'm very tall, I was 0:19:58.520 --> 0:20:00.920 right in the center rocket. The tallest girls are in 0:20:00.960 --> 0:20:03.040 the center and it tails off to the shortest girls. 0:20:03.040 --> 0:20:04.760 It gives the illusion that we're all the same hype, 0:20:04.760 --> 0:20:07.159 but we're not. And so when you're in the center, 0:20:07.320 --> 0:20:09.840 all the focus is on you. And I was standing 0:20:09.880 --> 0:20:12.959 next to women who had been Rockets for five six years. 0:20:13.000 --> 0:20:15.240 So I got picked on a lot and in a 0:20:15.240 --> 0:20:18.399 lot of notes, and it consumed by brain. You know, 0:20:19.080 --> 0:20:21.080 I never felt like I was good enough where I 0:20:21.119 --> 0:20:23.520 could breathe, but I loved it all the same time. 0:20:23.560 --> 0:20:25.040 Both things can be true. 0:20:25.400 --> 0:20:28.320 Both things can be true. Yes, and any Rocket will 0:20:28.320 --> 0:20:32.000 say this. I have a group of twelve, maybe fourteen 0:20:32.040 --> 0:20:34.680