WEBVTT - Someone’s Getting Their Period… 0:00:00.840 --> 0:00:06.320 Well, hello, hello Brandon. Hi. Uh what an exciting time 0:00:06.360 --> 0:00:10.840 to be alive. Right, Everything's opening, people are pumped up. 0:00:11.360 --> 0:00:14.920 Everyone's just got a little bit more optimism. Feels like 0:00:15.000 --> 0:00:17.959 it's spreading around the air or something is in the air. 0:00:18.079 --> 0:00:22.000 For sure. Summer is underway. I know summer's underway. I'm 0:00:22.040 --> 0:00:25.000 a new homeowner. I bought a new house that I'm renovating. 0:00:25.440 --> 0:00:27.960 That's exciting. You know what my friend said to me 0:00:28.000 --> 0:00:29.560 the other day, She was like, this is so good 0:00:29.640 --> 0:00:31.560 for you to have a creative outlet that is not 0:00:31.640 --> 0:00:34.279 related to work. And I was like, oh my god, 0:00:34.320 --> 0:00:36.159 I never thought about it that way, And that is 0:00:36.240 --> 0:00:39.040 such a great way for me to look at renovating 0:00:39.040 --> 0:00:41.159 a house. And it's going to take nine months, just 0:00:41.240 --> 0:00:44.880 like a pregnancy. So when it's over, I'm going to 0:00:44.960 --> 0:00:50.519 have a baby in a house. What are we doing today? Today, 0:00:50.720 --> 0:00:54.760 We're gonna be talking about obsession to some degree, people 0:00:54.800 --> 0:00:57.800 who either can't move on or just a little too 0:00:57.840 --> 0:01:02.040 into something, or someone a very time movie esque exactly. 0:01:02.120 --> 0:01:05.280 Sarah Clona would love this. And we have an update. 0:01:05.280 --> 0:01:08.800 We have an update from the Gluttonius who was in 0:01:08.840 --> 0:01:11.440 an episode a couple of weeks ago. So I don't 0:01:11.480 --> 0:01:13.520 know a lot of people if you listen out of order, 0:01:13.840 --> 0:01:16.840 will throw back and hear from people that we've given 0:01:16.880 --> 0:01:19.360 advice to or get updates from. So it's always good 0:01:19.360 --> 0:01:21.119 to listen to every episode so you kind of know 0:01:21.400 --> 0:01:25.399 what we're talking about. And this submission, she had an 0:01:25.440 --> 0:01:28.160 issue with overeating that she would just go through phases 0:01:28.200 --> 0:01:30.400 where she would kind of binge and then she would 0:01:30.440 --> 0:01:32.640 get back on track and you know, feel like she 0:01:32.720 --> 0:01:35.240 was living a healthier lifestyle. So it's a real pendulum 0:01:35.319 --> 0:01:36.840 that she just swings one way or the other. But 0:01:36.920 --> 0:01:39.680 she writes in after hearing us on the episode, and 0:01:39.720 --> 0:01:41.880 she says, hey, guys, I listened to the episode this 0:01:41.920 --> 0:01:44.199 morning and heard my submission being read. Oh my god, 0:01:44.280 --> 0:01:46.440 have fun and it's not fun. I'm a single mother 0:01:46.520 --> 0:01:49.320 to a son, and I have never once considered thinking 0:01:49.320 --> 0:01:51.680 about him as a tool to stop myself from binging. 0:01:52.040 --> 0:01:53.880 He doesn't see me do it, but has seen my 0:01:53.920 --> 0:01:56.320 emotional struggle with my weight ging. He tells me I'm 0:01:56.360 --> 0:01:58.000 not fat and that he loves me no matter what. 0:01:58.280 --> 0:02:00.880 After hearing my email being read back, I cried. I 0:02:00.920 --> 0:02:02.840 got the answer I needed. I signed up for Venice 0:02:02.920 --> 0:02:05.240 Nutrition and I'm going to start my journey and keep 0:02:05.280 --> 0:02:10.040 you updated. Isn't that nice? I could climax. I could 0:02:10.040 --> 0:02:15.040 seriously climax. I mean, oh, this is amazing. And I 0:02:15.080 --> 0:02:19.360 think it's important to acknowledge here that that episode was 0:02:19.400 --> 0:02:23.640 not about being thin. It wasn't about losing weight to 0:02:23.840 --> 0:02:27.120 be prettier or better looking. It was about being healthy. 0:02:27.200 --> 0:02:31.160 So however that looks to you, whatever that change might 0:02:31.200 --> 0:02:33.359 be in your life, just to feel better about yourself, 0:02:33.400 --> 0:02:36.520 just to feel like you're making healthier decisions. And again, 0:02:36.600 --> 0:02:38.600 whatever we talk about here, you know, take with a 0:02:38.680 --> 0:02:41.720 grain of salt, because it's just through two grains of salt. Right. 0:02:42.280 --> 0:02:43.960 I would like to make a note that there's another 0:02:44.000 --> 0:02:46.840 great resource for binge eaters and chronic dieters and it's 0:02:46.840 --> 0:02:50.120 a podcast. It's called Half Size Me with how the Robinson. 0:02:50.639 --> 0:02:53.000 So she gives you a lot of like good tools 0:02:53.080 --> 0:02:56.720 for sticking with like new ways of eating and learning 0:02:56.720 --> 0:02:59.840 to break the cycle of starving and binging. So that's 0:02:59.880 --> 0:03:01.880 a really good podcast to listen to if you are 0:03:01.880 --> 0:03:04.400 struggling with your weight. Well, I mean this is a 0:03:04.480 --> 0:03:07.680 huge victory, So another problem solved, and I think after 0:03:07.720 --> 0:03:11.919 that we deserve a break who's our first caller, sweetheart? Well, 0:03:11.919 --> 0:03:15.160 we have multiple callers today and the first one, her 0:03:15.240 --> 0:03:21.520 name is Anya. Is it the singer? And yeah. She's 0:03:21.639 --> 0:03:25.800 a fifty some odd year old female from Florida, and 0:03:25.840 --> 0:03:28.840 she writes in Dear Chelsea, I'm currently in pre menopause 0:03:28.880 --> 0:03:31.639 and I'm starting to seriously this is taking a turn. 0:03:31.840 --> 0:03:34.200 We haven't talked about periods in a long time, so 0:03:34.240 --> 0:03:38.400 this is almost like a universe manifesting periods. We also 0:03:38.480 --> 0:03:41.160 talked about you recently, how I would love for you 0:03:41.240 --> 0:03:43.640 to go through menopause and how I would love for 0:03:43.640 --> 0:03:47.560 you to get a period. Hi, Hi, Hi you is 0:03:47.600 --> 0:03:51.760 it on you? Yes? Okay, Anya, I haven't read your submission, 0:03:51.800 --> 0:03:53.480 so why don't you just give us an overview what's 0:03:53.480 --> 0:03:58.720 going on? So back in November I started hearing about 0:03:58.840 --> 0:04:02.040 Harry Styles a little bit more. That was at the 0:04:02.080 --> 0:04:06.760 same time, pre mental pause was creeping in hot flesh 0:04:06.840 --> 0:04:12.080 is mood, swings, everything, and I started to obsess with him. So, 0:04:12.160 --> 0:04:16.200 since I'm usually not a stand person, more a modest, 0:04:16.560 --> 0:04:20.400 quiet admirer, I was wondering if this has to do 0:04:20.600 --> 0:04:24.839 with the pandemic, pre mental pause and lack of travel, 0:04:25.360 --> 0:04:28.520 or do I need some serious help with your obsession 0:04:28.600 --> 0:04:32.640 over Harry Styles. Yes, I think an obsession with Harry 0:04:32.640 --> 0:04:36.080 Styles is pretty typical for people these days. I think 0:04:36.160 --> 0:04:38.520 it probably just has to do. Yeah, your hormones are 0:04:38.760 --> 0:04:40.880 just probably right in line. It sounds like with a 0:04:40.920 --> 0:04:44.360 teenage girls hormones because they're also in love with Harry Styles, 0:04:44.400 --> 0:04:46.520 and so are older women. Harry's has a way with 0:04:46.560 --> 0:04:49.400 older women. His girlfriend Ollive you a Wild is older, 0:04:49.760 --> 0:04:54.640 and he definitely likes and appreciates older women. So, I mean, 0:04:54.720 --> 0:04:57.159 I think your fantasy is it could be because of menopause, 0:04:57.200 --> 0:05:00.320 but I would think that menopause is when you start 0:05:00.400 --> 0:05:03.760 to lose your sexual feelings towards people. You wouldn't gain 0:05:03.800 --> 0:05:06.799 an obsession, So maybe you're not really even in menopause yet. 0:05:07.120 --> 0:05:09.000 That could be. Well, that's why I said, like kind 0:05:09.000 --> 0:05:12.120 of like pre menopause, like Perry menopause, but I think 0:05:12.200 --> 0:05:15.360 Perry menopause can last for many, many years. But I mean, 0:05:15.400 --> 0:05:17.160 I think it's good to have an obsession. It gives 0:05:17.160 --> 0:05:19.560 you something to like masturbate too, if you're into that. 0:05:20.000 --> 0:05:23.280 It gives you something. Harry is really cute to look at, obviously, 0:05:23.480 --> 0:05:27.640 I mean, he's like adorable are you ejecting? Yeah, we 0:05:27.640 --> 0:05:29.600 should have Harry call into the show. That would be 0:05:29.640 --> 0:05:32.040 really funny. I have been just dying to see him 0:05:32.080 --> 0:05:35.480 walk in or out of the building. Yeah, he's funny. 0:05:35.600 --> 0:05:38.320 He's very funny, Harry Styles. I'm going to actually take 0:05:38.360 --> 0:05:40.600 a picture of you and send it to him and 0:05:40.680 --> 0:05:45.280 say that you don't want me to Okay, Well, he'd 0:05:45.279 --> 0:05:48.800 be delighted to hear that he has another fan in you. 0:05:49.320 --> 0:05:52.479 If that's even your real name, that is my real name. 0:05:53.120 --> 0:05:57.040 All right, well that's great. Look at that crush received reciprocated. 0:05:57.560 --> 0:06:00.560 So just pretend you're dating him and start telling people, Well, 0:06:00.640 --> 0:06:04.480 don't do that, but just enjoy it. Just enjoy your 0:06:04.480 --> 0:06:08.040 new relationship. I'm trying. My son is not happy about it. 0:06:08.160 --> 0:06:10.080 But oh, I didn't realize that there was a son involved. 0:06:10.120 --> 0:06:12.440 I'm sure he's probably like, I don't need my mother 0:06:12.480 --> 0:06:15.720 to be into Harry Styles exactly. Yeah, but your son, 0:06:15.880 --> 0:06:19.200 he's you know what, this is your private life. Perfect. 0:06:19.400 --> 0:06:24.520 Thank you so much. You're welcome. Okay, thanks, thank you. 0:06:25.400 --> 0:06:28.000 This is a term that I don't understand all this 0:06:28.080 --> 0:06:30.880 fucking lingo. But I think Stan is like a super fan. 0:06:31.400 --> 0:06:33.200 Oh yeah, I didn't know what that meant either. God, 0:06:33.240 --> 0:06:35.560 sometimes I feel so stupid. I'm like, what I know, 0:06:35.600 --> 0:06:39.279 I feel so old? Well yeah, yeah right. I also 0:06:39.320 --> 0:06:42.520 don't like anything trendy, like you hated wheneveryone said, or 0:06:42.520 --> 0:06:49.400 when people say or anyways anyways. When everyone's saying anyways anyways, 0:06:49.839 --> 0:06:52.120 it's like, no, it's anyway. There's no s at the 0:06:52.200 --> 0:06:55.160 end of anyway. And like, I know, I'm such a stickler, 0:06:55.200 --> 0:06:58.080 Like it actually makes me irritates the ship out of 0:06:58.160 --> 0:07:00.200 me when people say that word, because as as soon 0:07:00.240 --> 0:07:03.440 as they say it, I lose respect for them. I 0:07:03.480 --> 0:07:08.039 have such respect for you correcting, Yeah, you appreciate, but 0:07:08.080 --> 0:07:09.720 most people don't want to be correct. I don't want 0:07:09.720 --> 0:07:12.320 to sound stupid now, but other people don't mind sounding stupid. 0:07:12.400 --> 0:07:14.440 People don't care, you know, Like I I'm such a 0:07:14.480 --> 0:07:16.760 stickler for grammar because I didn't go to college obviously, 0:07:16.800 --> 0:07:19.760 so I'm overcompensating. But I take it very seriously. Just 0:07:19.800 --> 0:07:21.640 like last night at dinner, I said to my girlfriends, 0:07:21.640 --> 0:07:24.440 I used the word platitudinizing, and they're like, uh, not 0:07:24.520 --> 0:07:26.200 a word. I said, you want to make a bet, 0:07:26.240 --> 0:07:27.760 and so I just had you look it up on 0:07:27.800 --> 0:07:30.360 the way in and then set them all the link 0:07:30.480 --> 0:07:35.200 to the definition of platitudinizing, and you're said, I guess 0:07:35.440 --> 0:07:39.400 who went to community college for one semester? Me. Do 0:07:39.440 --> 0:07:41.280 you have a celebrity crusher? Like who has been your 0:07:41.280 --> 0:07:44.720 biggest one before you became famous? Was there someone that, 0:07:44.800 --> 0:07:51.640 like you really loved Bruce Springsteen? I mean I liked them, 0:07:51.720 --> 0:07:54.840 I didn't love them. I was never like wanted to 0:07:54.880 --> 0:07:58.400 like sit on bon Jovi's face or anything like that. Like, uh, 0:07:58.640 --> 0:08:00.840 Simon le bar On from R and A Rand was 0:08:00.880 --> 0:08:03.160 like big. That was a big deal for me. That 0:08:03.240 --> 0:08:05.880 was like my first major man crush. I loved him 0:08:05.920 --> 0:08:08.400 and my sister like Nick Rhodes. Then I had a 0:08:08.400 --> 0:08:12.520 crush on a famous baseball player, and then I think, yeah, 0:08:12.880 --> 0:08:14.880 that that was it. I always liked older men, even 0:08:14.880 --> 0:08:17.440 when I was like a child, I liked older guys. 0:08:17.440 --> 0:08:21.000 Which you dated an athlete now, um, yeah, I can 0:08:21.040 --> 0:08:23.360 see you with the baseball player. Yeah, sure, I'd date anyone, 0:08:23.400 --> 0:08:25.480 you know how open minded. I just like, I like 0:08:25.560 --> 0:08:27.560 to keep that out in the open for everyone listening 0:08:28.040 --> 0:08:32.360 that you are looking and you're ready to receive receive penetration. 0:08:33.880 --> 0:08:36.720 What is your feeling on people abbreviating things like California. 0:08:36.800 --> 0:08:42.480 Nothing makes stach, it makesach annoys or cow so like 0:08:42.840 --> 0:08:45.800 I like hashtags, I find annoying any sort of anything 0:08:45.880 --> 0:08:49.760 that you abbreviate, even in text messages, like what does 0:08:49.800 --> 0:08:54.240 everyone says dead now dead dead, I'm dead or period 0:08:54.559 --> 0:08:57.880 in the sense is like conversation, but then the conversation 0:08:57.920 --> 0:09:01.680 is never over. I wish it were. I know so 0:09:01.800 --> 0:09:05.400 many times people are taking so long for like what 0:09:05.480 --> 0:09:08.680 could be just a quick transaction, you know, they take 0:09:08.720 --> 0:09:13.520 it so slowly and you end up talking to someone 0:09:13.600 --> 0:09:15.880 from way longer than you need to. What about these 0:09:16.200 --> 0:09:17.760 people who want to get on a call when it 0:09:17.760 --> 0:09:21.640 could be an email there is nothing more. Let's let's 0:09:21.640 --> 0:09:25.199 do zoom send me an email. It will take two seconds, right, 0:09:25.240 --> 0:09:27.600 and you'll get an immediate response. I also on that 0:09:27.640 --> 0:09:31.040 subject matter, don't really like to FaceTime anyone, And I 0:09:31.080 --> 0:09:33.160 know people really like it, but you have to sit 0:09:33.200 --> 0:09:35.320 there and hold the phone, like without your air pods 0:09:35.320 --> 0:09:36.920 in Like when you're on the phone with somebody, you 0:09:36.920 --> 0:09:38.800 can get a million things done, Like if you have 0:09:38.800 --> 0:09:43.200 your air pods and still pay attention or stop paying attention, 0:09:43.280 --> 0:09:46.040 you know, and get a million things done. But FaceTime 0:09:46.160 --> 0:09:48.599 is really hard. It's annoying for me to like, you know, 0:09:48.800 --> 0:09:51.199 it has its time. It comes in handy, yeah, right 0:09:51.360 --> 0:09:53.800 for brief interludes like when you were in Canada and 0:09:53.800 --> 0:09:55.960 I would FaceTime you and have shown me how to 0:09:55.960 --> 0:09:57.880 turn the oven on. Ye, and I would FaceTime your 0:09:57.880 --> 0:10:00.920 two daughters up there that you've left behind. Fatherhood was good. 0:10:01.080 --> 0:10:03.360 That was good as a father. I am their father still, 0:10:03.480 --> 0:10:05.440 So that's why they called me down. And I'm just 0:10:05.520 --> 0:10:07.680 so happy you don't have kids. If you had kids, 0:10:07.679 --> 0:10:10.320 I don't those girls. Are those girls really know? You 0:10:10.320 --> 0:10:12.440 couldn't And if you couldn't do this job, well, I 0:10:12.440 --> 0:10:14.559 guess we would have never met Brandon. I don't even 0:10:14.559 --> 0:10:16.640 want to think about such things. That's just like a 0:10:16.679 --> 0:10:22.040 bad nightmare, all right. The next submission comes on, and 0:10:22.200 --> 0:10:25.640 right onto the next mission, it comes from Steve, who 0:10:25.920 --> 0:10:29.160 is from Chicago. He writes, Dear Chelsea, I had a 0:10:29.400 --> 0:10:31.800 rough job lost a few years ago, and I'm having 0:10:31.800 --> 0:10:33.839 a hard time getting over and I can't let go 0:10:33.960 --> 0:10:37.960 the anger. What do you suggest move the funk on? Buddy? 0:10:38.080 --> 0:10:41.080 Tell him that because he's on the phone. Okay, great, sweetheart, 0:10:41.120 --> 0:10:43.080 Look I'm gonna should I open my movies. Yeah, well 0:10:43.120 --> 0:10:46.840 he mentioned skiing naked with you, so I don't know 0:10:46.880 --> 0:10:49.440 if you should do anything to egg him on. Steve, 0:10:49.760 --> 0:10:53.000 where are you? I'm here, Steve, Hi, we can't see you. 0:10:53.000 --> 0:10:57.960 Where's your turn your camera on? Alright, Steve, listen, we 0:10:58.080 --> 0:10:59.559 don't worry about it. I don't need to see you. 0:10:59.640 --> 0:11:02.240 I can are you. It sounds like you're stuck in 0:11:02.400 --> 0:11:06.560 a victim mentality sort of. Yeah. I had a bad 0:11:06.640 --> 0:11:09.520 job loss about four and a five years ago, and 0:11:09.960 --> 0:11:12.360 some things were used against me that we're sort of 0:11:12.559 --> 0:11:15.080 spun in a certain way that maybe look bad, and 0:11:15.240 --> 0:11:17.560 I never had a chance to defend myself or even 0:11:17.600 --> 0:11:20.720 explain what had happened. And even though I had the 0:11:20.720 --> 0:11:23.120 full support of management. It was a job I had 0:11:23.120 --> 0:11:26.000 pursued for about three years, finally got it, super happy. 0:11:26.400 --> 0:11:28.240 I thought I'd worked there for about seven eight years 0:11:28.240 --> 0:11:31.760 and retire and then, uh, you know, six months into it, 0:11:32.280 --> 0:11:36.360 that was that Well, what happened essentially boiled down to 0:11:36.400 --> 0:11:38.719 a woman in the office that sort of hesitated to 0:11:38.760 --> 0:11:42.520 say this, but I thought I was creepy, and like 0:11:42.559 --> 0:11:45.440 I said, I had full support, but it got up 0:11:45.440 --> 0:11:48.160 to the CEO and he said, we can't tolerate this stuff. 0:11:48.200 --> 0:11:51.319 And my opinion was what do you can't tolerate? What right? 0:11:51.920 --> 0:11:54.800 And I never got to defend myself my boss, his boss, 0:11:54.840 --> 0:11:57.160 and his boss said wrong. But then that was that. 0:11:57.600 --> 0:12:00.280 Was it against one woman or multiple with well, I 0:12:00.280 --> 0:12:02.480 don't really know exactly, but I was able to get 0:12:02.520 --> 0:12:06.360 some details sort of after the fact, and so it 0:12:06.440 --> 0:12:09.000 might have been. I know there was one specific person 0:12:09.400 --> 0:12:11.800 that was pushing this, and I also heard from somebody 0:12:11.840 --> 0:12:15.240 else that the idea was to replace me with someone 0:12:15.320 --> 0:12:18.960 else in the office who was much younger than I was. Well, 0:12:18.960 --> 0:12:21.760 that can't feel good to be called creepy. No, it 0:12:21.840 --> 0:12:24.760 was horrible, and um, but what are you gonna do? Right? Yeah, 0:12:24.760 --> 0:12:26.720 so you need to move the funk on because like, 0:12:26.840 --> 0:12:29.160 that is old, that's history. There's nothing you can do 0:12:29.200 --> 0:12:31.040 about it. And the only thing you can do is 0:12:31.120 --> 0:12:33.480 let go. You have to let go of your anger. 0:12:33.720 --> 0:12:36.920 That is the past, it is behind you, and you 0:12:36.960 --> 0:12:39.760 just have to focus on having more positive vibes moving 0:12:39.800 --> 0:12:42.160 forward so that you can secure another job. Do you 0:12:42.160 --> 0:12:45.280 have a new job? No, So, I've been in the 0:12:45.320 --> 0:12:48.080 digital space for a long time. It's you know, it's 0:12:48.080 --> 0:12:51.720 an extremely young industry. This company was in the movie business. 0:12:52.240 --> 0:12:54.760 I've been in sales. It was a sales role, and 0:12:55.160 --> 0:12:57.000 you know my age. I tried really hard to find 0:12:57.040 --> 0:13:01.000 work after this happened, and I think weren't weren't flowing 0:13:01.000 --> 0:13:04.760 my way. And so I do printed shirts and apparel 0:13:04.800 --> 0:13:07.800 for organizations, businesses, et cetera. I've been doing that for 0:13:07.880 --> 0:13:09.960 quite some time. It's a decent little source of income. 0:13:09.960 --> 0:13:12.240 But I just started. I started ubering four and neft 0:13:12.280 --> 0:13:14.240 years ago and I've been pretty much doing that ever since. Well, 0:13:14.280 --> 0:13:17.880 that's good. That's something you're bringing in some income with that, right, Yeah, 0:13:18.000 --> 0:13:20.120 it's sometimes it requires a lot of hours. I was 0:13:20.160 --> 0:13:23.080 out till three o'clock on Friday and two a month salary. 0:13:23.160 --> 0:13:25.840 But you can make pretty good money if you push it. Well, Steve, 0:13:25.880 --> 0:13:28.640 I think you need to give yourself room to grow. 0:13:28.720 --> 0:13:31.319 And you're holding onto this thing that happened four years ago. 0:13:31.360 --> 0:13:34.400 It's not serving you. So it's taking up space. Anything 0:13:34.440 --> 0:13:36.160 taking up space is not going to allow you to, like, 0:13:36.280 --> 0:13:38.960 you know, really invest time or energy and to moving 0:13:39.000 --> 0:13:43.080 forward and whether that be emotionally, mentally or with finding 0:13:43.080 --> 0:13:44.920 a job. So the longer you hold onto this, it's 0:13:44.920 --> 0:13:47.240 just gonna hold you back and hold you down. So 0:13:47.360 --> 0:13:50.400 I think you just gotta sucking throw that out and 0:13:50.760 --> 0:13:53.080 focus on what you can do moving forward. Yeah, and 0:13:53.120 --> 0:13:55.200 take pride in your job, like be happy that you 0:13:55.280 --> 0:13:57.520 have a job. Some people are starving, you know. Yeah, 0:13:57.559 --> 0:13:59.560 you're working at uber. You have the ability to work 0:13:59.600 --> 0:14:02.400 harder to make extra money. These are all good things too. 0:14:02.640 --> 0:14:04.680 You know, you don't have to hold on to somebody 0:14:04.679 --> 0:14:06.800 what somebody said or may have said, or may have 0:14:06.880 --> 0:14:09.360 not said. Somebody may have not even said that about you. 0:14:09.360 --> 0:14:11.480 You know, that could have been an excuse to replace 0:14:11.480 --> 0:14:14.560 you with somebody younger. It's just it's irrelevant really to 0:14:14.640 --> 0:14:17.480 your future. Right, And then all makes a lot of sense. 0:14:17.520 --> 0:14:19.680 And you know, I get it, and it's not something 0:14:19.720 --> 0:14:21.480 that that I hang on to all the time, but 0:14:21.520 --> 0:14:23.440 it sort of flares up, you know, like a like 0:14:23.480 --> 0:14:25.760 a thing, a virus. It's it's inside you, you you know, 0:14:25.840 --> 0:14:29.520 and things will trigger it. So I hear what you're saying, 0:14:29.720 --> 0:14:31.000 and I know I need to do it. Yeah, but 0:14:31.040 --> 0:14:32.760 you need some tough love. You need a nudge in 0:14:32.760 --> 0:14:35.400 the right direction, Like that's just coming from a loving place. 0:14:35.640 --> 0:14:37.720 You can't just immediately fast forward and have it not 0:14:37.760 --> 0:14:39.680 be there. But you can have it come up without 0:14:39.680 --> 0:14:42.080 it bringing you down, you know, like, you can have 0:14:42.160 --> 0:14:44.760 it come up so that it diminishes each time it 0:14:44.760 --> 0:14:46.280 does come up, so that in a year from now, 0:14:46.320 --> 0:14:49.600 it's not an issue at all. Right, Okay, do you 0:14:49.640 --> 0:14:52.960 smoke pot here and there? Yeah, well, maybe smoke some more. 0:14:53.440 --> 0:14:56.720 Enjoy yourself, you know, just enjoy yourself and have a 0:14:56.800 --> 0:15:03.160 nice time. Okay, Yeah, try and find a girlfriend, you know. Well, 0:15:03.160 --> 0:15:05.040 then definitely don't try to find a girlfriend. I don't 0:15:05.040 --> 0:15:07.440 want to be giving out advice like that. That's that's 0:15:07.440 --> 0:15:10.200 how we get into trouble around here. So around here 0:15:10.200 --> 0:15:13.760 in our doctor's office. Okay, Well, good luck to you, Steve, 0:15:13.960 --> 0:15:16.440 And I'm glad you called. Yeah, sorry about the video. 0:15:16.440 --> 0:15:20.800 I wish I could have. Yeah, that's okay. Maybe his 0:15:20.840 --> 0:15:22.600 pants were off and he didn't want us to see 0:15:22.680 --> 0:15:25.040 that he was exposing himself. Well, we know that all 0:15:25.040 --> 0:15:29.320 men do, these zooms men. It's just such a disappointment 0:15:29.320 --> 0:15:31.360 with the way that they pulled their penises out. I 0:15:31.680 --> 0:15:35.080 also like to state, though, about Steve's specific situation, is 0:15:35.120 --> 0:15:37.160 that men have to err on the side of caution 0:15:37.200 --> 0:15:39.960 now in their interactions. I understand I'm not telling them 0:15:39.960 --> 0:15:42.240 to go assault a woman. No I'm not. I don't 0:15:42.240 --> 0:15:44.360 think you are, but like anyone listening, that is the 0:15:44.400 --> 0:15:47.200 way men have to operate. But they have to assume 0:15:47.320 --> 0:15:49.760 that you've already been acute. Yeah, that you've already sexually 0:15:49.760 --> 0:15:54.080 assaulted someone. Come from that place of apology and reform, 0:15:54.280 --> 0:15:57.000 because I mean, all men aren't bad, but there's enough 0:15:57.040 --> 0:15:59.920 bad ones that you've sucked over everybody. So now all 0:16:00.040 --> 0:16:02.360 men have to pay the price. White men have to 0:16:02.400 --> 0:16:05.800 pay the price for your advantage taking since the beginning 0:16:05.800 --> 0:16:09.120 of time. And you can only just say yes, I'm sorry, 0:16:09.400 --> 0:16:12.040 please tell me more, and I'm willing to listen because 0:16:12.080 --> 0:16:16.120 we have been man explained to for too long, So 0:16:16.200 --> 0:16:18.520 you need to listen to what we're telling you. We 0:16:18.560 --> 0:16:21.800 want you to succeed, we want you to stick around, 0:16:22.240 --> 0:16:25.680 but you need to listen. The thing is, it's like, okay, 0:16:25.720 --> 0:16:28.120 so that guy could have been a creep also, and 0:16:28.200 --> 0:16:31.080 he could have been in the wrong, and you know, 0:16:31.120 --> 0:16:33.120 maybe we should have delved into that a little bit further. 0:16:33.240 --> 0:16:35.960 But even then, I want people to like pick up 0:16:35.960 --> 0:16:38.560 and move on to a different point, right like, because 0:16:38.600 --> 0:16:40.800 we all make mistakes and we have to learn from 0:16:40.800 --> 0:16:44.280 those mistakes. And people calling you creepy is like you 0:16:44.280 --> 0:16:47.320 would have to think about that, right, But yes, yeah, 0:16:47.320 --> 0:16:50.000 we need additional context for some of these we couldn't 0:16:50.000 --> 0:16:54.120 offer well rounded advice. He still needed to move on. 0:16:54.160 --> 0:16:56.160 That was well, we're still growing as a counseling couple, 0:16:56.240 --> 0:16:58.680 so we were growing. We're having growing pains. That was 0:16:58.800 --> 0:17:01.600 growing pain. That smell of that beef jerky that you're 0:17:01.600 --> 0:17:04.919 eating is a definite growing pain. It's so fucking gross. 0:17:05.000 --> 0:17:09.080 It's a turkey. I hate having to eat on a 0:17:09.200 --> 0:17:14.040 fucking schedule. I love eating and I can't stop eating. 0:17:14.040 --> 0:17:16.240 And now we know it gets because do you like truffle? 0:17:16.640 --> 0:17:19.240 Like the taste of truffle? I love it. This weekend, 0:17:19.280 --> 0:17:21.080 I think I'm going to make mac and cheese, and 0:17:21.080 --> 0:17:22.680 there's this truff I don't want anything to do with 0:17:22.720 --> 0:17:26.240 macaroni and cheese. I know, I know, but I can't 0:17:26.359 --> 0:17:29.239 right now. I'm at my steep end of things, So 0:17:29.320 --> 0:17:32.399 no macaroni and cheese for me. This is not I 0:17:32.440 --> 0:17:35.399 don't I fucking love. One day in Whistler, when I 0:17:35.440 --> 0:17:38.439 wasn't skiing because my knee was swollen and hurting, I 0:17:38.520 --> 0:17:42.479 made myself Annie's macaroni and cheese, the organic. Yeah, and 0:17:42.560 --> 0:17:45.159 it was just like a vat of cheese and I 0:17:45.200 --> 0:17:48.840 just ate the entire thing and it felt so cozy 0:17:48.880 --> 0:17:50.400 and warm, and it was one of those days where 0:17:50.400 --> 0:17:52.760 I was just like, you know, sitting by the fire. 0:17:53.240 --> 0:17:59.560 I just love fucking macaroni and cheese. What is that 0:18:01.119 --> 0:18:06.959 your meditation reminder? Our medications letting me know that your 0:18:07.000 --> 0:18:09.399 period is on the approach? No, it is not. It 0:18:09.400 --> 0:18:12.639 should have a much louder notification of the blaring horn. 0:18:12.720 --> 0:18:17.200 It's like, get ready, good, ready, there's a count coming 0:18:17.400 --> 0:18:21.440 down the street. Do you have another caller? I don't know. 0:18:21.520 --> 0:18:25.520 I wasn't listening. I'm just kidding. Our next submission is 0:18:25.560 --> 0:18:28.159 from William. He's in his thirties. He is a teacher 0:18:28.200 --> 0:18:31.480 from California, and he writes, Dear Chelsea, I recently had 0:18:31.520 --> 0:18:34.240 two amazing dates with the same woman and we really vibed. 0:18:34.400 --> 0:18:36.800 We had conversations about another date. We made out, couldn't 0:18:36.840 --> 0:18:40.040 keep our hands off of each other. She asked if 0:18:40.359 --> 0:18:42.080 I was looking for a friend with benefits. I said 0:18:42.080 --> 0:18:45.600 I'd be open to basically anything, and so we decided 0:18:45.600 --> 0:18:49.480 to just any man. We're open to anything, right, But 0:18:49.560 --> 0:18:52.040 we decided to keep it loose. We really connected. We 0:18:52.119 --> 0:18:54.600 both love hockey, we have the same taste in beer, 0:18:54.680 --> 0:18:56.720 we have the same degree. How many dates? Was this 0:18:56.800 --> 0:18:59.320 to two dates? But this is where things take a turn? 0:18:59.440 --> 0:19:02.160 He said, it's not been three days in contact? Okay, 0:19:02.240 --> 0:19:04.360 is he there? Well? Are you there? Yeah? I got 0:19:04.359 --> 0:19:06.879 it working finally, thank you? Yeah, okay, cute beer and 0:19:06.960 --> 0:19:09.679 I like your face, thank you, thank you. Yeah, it's 0:19:09.680 --> 0:19:11.879 all that's in the picture right now. But yeah, I 0:19:11.920 --> 0:19:14.280 like me. It's pretty good too. Okay, well, let's not 0:19:14.280 --> 0:19:17.479 get carried away. So let's so what happened on the 0:19:17.480 --> 0:19:19.560 first date and what happened on the second day. Break 0:19:19.600 --> 0:19:22.760 it down for us. Okay, Like on the first day 0:19:22.800 --> 0:19:24.800 we met on Bumble, you know, and it's not a 0:19:24.800 --> 0:19:26.520 good Is that a good dating site? Because I need 0:19:26.560 --> 0:19:30.480 my friend Kelly from Whistler to get on Bumble? Well, like, 0:19:30.760 --> 0:19:33.200 it's good because women get to make the first move 0:19:33.520 --> 0:19:37.080 and so so it avoids a lot of awkward situations 0:19:37.119 --> 0:19:38.560 that women have to deal with. Like I have a 0:19:38.560 --> 0:19:41.119 lot of female friends. They tell me like the horror 0:19:41.160 --> 0:19:43.800 stories of you know, Tinder and everything else. But at 0:19:43.840 --> 0:19:46.199 least there you get ladies get a little bit more 0:19:46.200 --> 0:19:49.520 of a filtering option for themselves, you know, and it 0:19:49.560 --> 0:19:52.200 takes the pressure off the guys to make the first move, 0:19:52.440 --> 0:19:54.680 so it helps out a lot in that kind of way. Okay, 0:19:54.680 --> 0:19:56.440 bumble is great, you matter or she made the first 0:19:56.520 --> 0:19:59.320 move then, right, yeah? Yeah yeah yeah, And we got 0:19:59.320 --> 0:20:01.560 to talking away, you know, like I mean, we were 0:20:01.600 --> 0:20:05.240 really like into each other and we went out. We're 0:20:05.240 --> 0:20:07.919 both vaccinated, so we were like feeling pretty comfy. You know. 0:20:07.960 --> 0:20:09.880 I was like, I was my first time going out 0:20:09.880 --> 0:20:12.199