WEBVTT - Mr. Michael Oppenheimer 7

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<v Speaker 1>Don't answer the phone. Elvis Duran, the Elvis Duran phone.

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<v Speaker 2>Tap Scary, I swear to God, Scary picks up more

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<v Speaker 2>women when he does. Is Michael Oppenheimer impersonation.

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<v Speaker 3>Someone asked me to do Oppenheimer in the bedroom once.

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<v Speaker 3>Talk to me like Michael Oppenheimer.

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<v Speaker 2>Well that person is a sick oh crazy. The email

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<v Speaker 2>coming into our studio says, I want you to phone

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<v Speaker 2>tap as many people in my family as you can,

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<v Speaker 2>because I love your phone taps.

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<v Speaker 3>My aunt, my uncle, my grandmother.

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<v Speaker 2>They all live together, and they all hate telemarketers. They'll

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<v Speaker 2>lie through their false teeth just to get those people

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<v Speaker 2>off the phone. Please have Michael Oppenheimer call and harass

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<v Speaker 2>them to the best of his ability. You'll love the result,

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<v Speaker 2>especially for my grandma. She's got the shortest temper of all.

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<v Speaker 2>This comes from Garrett Michael Oppenheimer. Today's phone tap.

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<v Speaker 1>Hello, This is.

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<v Speaker 3>Mister Michael Oppenheimer with the Animal League. How are you

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<v Speaker 3>doing today, Miss fine?

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you.

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<v Speaker 3>We have the adopted pet bananza going on here. We

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<v Speaker 3>have a lot of pets that need some homes.

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<v Speaker 1>Well I'm not really interested, thank you.

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<v Speaker 3>We have Don Tippet. Hello, this is mister michaelap And

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<v Speaker 3>with our Animal League. How are you doing Today's Are

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<v Speaker 3>all right?

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<v Speaker 1>Did you just call up?

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<v Speaker 3>Yes? I did.

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<v Speaker 2>No, we're not animal friendly here, okay, we must.

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<v Speaker 3>We must have gotten disconnected. We have the adopted pet

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<v Speaker 3>bananza going on today.

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<v Speaker 1>Are you suld we're not animal friendly?

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, but maybe you can be friendly after this phone calls?

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<v Speaker 1>No, I don't think so.

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<v Speaker 3>Do you want a dog? Sir?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh?

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<v Speaker 3>Yes, this is mister Michael whoever it is.

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<v Speaker 1>I'll have this trace.

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<v Speaker 3>Miss.

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<v Speaker 1>You keep calling me. I'm telling you you're going to

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<v Speaker 1>be in big trouble.

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<v Speaker 3>We have dogs, avail.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't care what you have available, pal, Okay, stop

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<v Speaker 1>bothering me.

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<v Speaker 3>These dogs need homes.

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<v Speaker 1>Maybe you need a home.

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<v Speaker 3>Do you have a dog or a cat?

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<v Speaker 1>Would you like to adopt a dog or a cat?

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<v Speaker 3>Yes? Would you like to?

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<v Speaker 1>Would you?

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<v Speaker 3>Yes?

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<v Speaker 1>Then go get one alone, because if you call one

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<v Speaker 1>more time, I'll have your trade. Miss.

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<v Speaker 3>Can I tell you about our annual pactacular blowouts? Out?

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<v Speaker 3>Care what you have?

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<v Speaker 1>Shove them?

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<v Speaker 3>We have dogs?

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<v Speaker 1>Hello?

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, yes, good afternoon. This is mister Michael Eppenham with

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<v Speaker 3>Animal League. How are you doing today?

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<v Speaker 1>Man? I'm sorry I cannot talk with you, right, Yes

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<v Speaker 1>you can.

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<v Speaker 3>Won't you take a couple of minutes out of your

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<v Speaker 3>day so we could talk to you about our annual.

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<v Speaker 1>Excuse me, sir, Yes, you have called this number four times.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not interested in what you have to ask me,

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<v Speaker 1>and take my phone number off your mailing list. I'll

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<v Speaker 1>report you to the do not Call.

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<v Speaker 3>We cannot do that at this time.

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<v Speaker 1>Man, Please get me off the hang up on this wire.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm waiting an emergency goal we have adopted, but I'm

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<v Speaker 1>not interested. Do you understand, mister Oppenheim, and why I

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<v Speaker 1>am not interested? I have analogy in this house. We

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<v Speaker 1>are all allergic to pets.

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<v Speaker 3>You take medicine for the allergy.

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<v Speaker 1>Don't worry about my medicine.

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<v Speaker 3>We want to tell you about our dogs on debit.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't need a dog.

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<v Speaker 3>We got cats on credit.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't need your credit with cats.

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<v Speaker 3>We have reptiles for rent. Maybe you have a son

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<v Speaker 3>that likes it.

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<v Speaker 1>To you don't have any more sons living with me.

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<v Speaker 3>Does somebody want to play with an iguana?

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<v Speaker 1>Not that I know of.

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<v Speaker 3>No, we have purebreads starting at three hundred dollars.

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<v Speaker 1>May I have your phone number? I can call you back.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh no, not at this time. We are at a central.

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<v Speaker 1>Office, me Yess's central office, and who do you represent?

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<v Speaker 3>Were located in a central office in.

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<v Speaker 1>Idaho, in Idaho. Well you should go back to Idaho

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<v Speaker 1>and bother the people in Idaho because I can't be

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<v Speaker 1>bothered any longer.

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<v Speaker 3>We can schedule an appointment for you.

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<v Speaker 1>You've got the wrong number, wrong address. I do not

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<v Speaker 1>have a dog. I have a allergy to dogs, and

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<v Speaker 1>I wish we'd stop using this number. Take it off

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<v Speaker 1>your list, please, Okay, I do not call on my phone.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh we don't respect it do not call policy.

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<v Speaker 1>But you have to respect it, sir. What is your name?

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<v Speaker 3>This is mister Michael Oppenheimer.

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<v Speaker 1>Oppenheimer, and who gives you the right to go into

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<v Speaker 1>people's phones and hold it up when I'm waiting an

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<v Speaker 1>emergency call. I yesked you to get off the phone.

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<v Speaker 1>You've called six times.

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<v Speaker 3>But we have here's the thing that we.

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<v Speaker 1>Have, no thing. Get off the wire and leave my

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<v Speaker 1>phone number alone.

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<v Speaker 3>What's your name?

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<v Speaker 1>It's none of your business. My name is Okay, I'm.

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<v Speaker 3>Going to look it up in the computer here, hold

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<v Speaker 3>on to take a look.

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<v Speaker 1>Care no, goodbye, good bye bye, but this list is

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<v Speaker 1>good bye hello. Listen to me. Yes, would you please

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<v Speaker 1>get off my phone? This is an emergency home. If

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<v Speaker 1>you have called me for six times, you say you

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<v Speaker 1>know my name, you say you know my number. I

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<v Speaker 1>do not want any dogs. I can't contribute to the dogs.

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<v Speaker 1>I've got a strict husband here, and if you don't

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<v Speaker 1>stop harassing me, I'm going to call the police on you.

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<v Speaker 3>Misattracted.

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<v Speaker 1>You've got to stop this.

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<v Speaker 3>Stop misattracted Smith.

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<v Speaker 1>Calling, Stop calling my name.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm being calm. I'm being calm.

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<v Speaker 1>You can't calm. You're tying up my phone for the

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<v Speaker 1>last half hours. How are you to do this?

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<v Speaker 3>I'm mister Michael Offenheimer, and all I want to do

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<v Speaker 3>is just tell you about adopted pat New Year's bonanza

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<v Speaker 3>going on. You stop it, miss attracted. All I want

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<v Speaker 3>to tell you everything must go.

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<v Speaker 1>Get off the phone.

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<v Speaker 3>An annual liquidation sale that comes only once a year.

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<v Speaker 1>You're holding up my phone for emergency servers. Now I'm

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<v Speaker 1>going to report it to the police.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm sorry.

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<v Speaker 1>Now I've got to get the police.

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<v Speaker 3>We have pure bread starting at three hundred dollars and

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<v Speaker 3>mixed breeds at two hundred dollars. Yes, oh yes, missus

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<v Speaker 3>Smith please scary Jones, and you've been phone taking.

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<v Speaker 1>These people should not give people heart attacks on the

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<v Speaker 1>other side of the phone.

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<v Speaker 3>Your grandson Garrett put us up to it.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh really, well, I just reported him to the police.

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<v Speaker 3>Is he in trouble?

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<v Speaker 1>This joke? My grandson, Your grandson Andy.

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<v Speaker 3>Elvis Duran's phone tab. This phone table was pre recorded

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<v Speaker 3>with the permission granted by all participants.

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<v Speaker 2>The Elvis Duran phone tab only on Elvis Duran in

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<v Speaker 2>the Morning Show