Speaker 1: Don't answer the phone. Elvis Duran, the Elvis Duran phone.
Speaker 2: Tap Scary, I swear to God, Scary picks up more
Speaker 2: women when he does. Is Michael Oppenheimer impersonation.
Speaker 3: Someone asked me to do Oppenheimer in the bedroom once.
Speaker 3: Talk to me like Michael Oppenheimer.
Speaker 2: Well that person is a sick oh crazy. The email
Speaker 2: coming into our studio says, I want you to phone
Speaker 2: tap as many people in my family as you can,
Speaker 2: because I love your phone taps.
Speaker 3: My aunt, my uncle, my grandmother.
Speaker 2: They all live together, and they all hate telemarketers. They'll
Speaker 2: lie through their false teeth just to get those people
Speaker 2: off the phone. Please have Michael Oppenheimer call and harass
Speaker 2: them to the best of his ability. You'll love the result,
Speaker 2: especially for my grandma. She's got the shortest temper of all.
Speaker 2: This comes from Garrett Michael Oppenheimer. Today's phone tap.
Speaker 1: Hello, This is.
Speaker 3: Mister Michael Oppenheimer with the Animal League. How are you
Speaker 3: doing today, Miss fine?
Speaker 1: Thank you.
Speaker 3: We have the adopted pet bananza going on here. We
Speaker 3: have a lot of pets that need some homes.
Speaker 1: Well I'm not really interested, thank you.
Speaker 3: We have Don Tippet. Hello, this is mister michaelap And
Speaker 3: with our Animal League. How are you doing Today's Are
Speaker 3: all right?
Speaker 1: Did you just call up?
Speaker 3: Yes? I did.
Speaker 2: No, we're not animal friendly here, okay, we must.
Speaker 3: We must have gotten disconnected. We have the adopted pet
Speaker 3: bananza going on today.
Speaker 1: Are you suld we're not animal friendly?
Speaker 3: Okay, but maybe you can be friendly after this phone calls?
Speaker 1: No, I don't think so.
Speaker 3: Do you want a dog? Sir?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 3: Yes, this is mister Michael whoever it is.
Speaker 1: I'll have this trace.
Speaker 3: Miss.
Speaker 1: You keep calling me. I'm telling you you're going to
Speaker 1: be in big trouble.
Speaker 3: We have dogs, avail.
Speaker 1: I don't care what you have available, pal, Okay, stop
Speaker 1: bothering me.
Speaker 3: These dogs need homes.
Speaker 1: Maybe you need a home.
Speaker 3: Do you have a dog or a cat?
Speaker 1: Would you like to adopt a dog or a cat?
Speaker 3: Yes? Would you like to?
Speaker 1: Would you?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 1: Then go get one alone, because if you call one
Speaker 1: more time, I'll have your trade. Miss.
Speaker 3: Can I tell you about our annual pactacular blowouts? Out?
Speaker 3: Care what you have?
Speaker 1: Shove them?
Speaker 3: We have dogs?
Speaker 1: Hello?
Speaker 3: Oh, yes, good afternoon. This is mister Michael Eppenham with
Speaker 3: Animal League. How are you doing today?
Speaker 1: Man? I'm sorry I cannot talk with you, right, Yes
Speaker 1: you can.
Speaker 3: Won't you take a couple of minutes out of your
Speaker 3: day so we could talk to you about our annual.
Speaker 1: Excuse me, sir, Yes, you have called this number four times.
Speaker 1: I'm not interested in what you have to ask me,
Speaker 1: and take my phone number off your mailing list. I'll
Speaker 1: report you to the do not Call.
Speaker 3: We cannot do that at this time.
Speaker 1: Man, Please get me off the hang up on this wire.
Speaker 1: I'm waiting an emergency goal we have adopted, but I'm
Speaker 1: not interested. Do you understand, mister Oppenheim, and why I
Speaker 1: am not interested? I have analogy in this house. We
Speaker 1: are all allergic to pets.
Speaker 3: You take medicine for the allergy.
Speaker 1: Don't worry about my medicine.
Speaker 3: We want to tell you about our dogs on debit.
Speaker 1: I don't need a dog.
Speaker 3: We got cats on credit.
Speaker 1: I don't need your credit with cats.
Speaker 3: We have reptiles for rent. Maybe you have a son
Speaker 3: that likes it.
Speaker 1: To you don't have any more sons living with me.
Speaker 3: Does somebody want to play with an iguana?
Speaker 1: Not that I know of.
Speaker 3: No, we have purebreads starting at three hundred dollars.
Speaker 1: May I have your phone number? I can call you back.
Speaker 3: Oh no, not at this time. We are at a central.
Speaker 1: Office, me Yess's central office, and who do you represent?
Speaker 3: Were located in a central office in.
Speaker 1: Idaho, in Idaho. Well you should go back to Idaho
Speaker 1: and bother the people in Idaho because I can't be
Speaker 1: bothered any longer.
Speaker 3: We can schedule an appointment for you.
Speaker 1: You've got the wrong number, wrong address. I do not
Speaker 1: have a dog. I have a allergy to dogs, and
Speaker 1: I wish we'd stop using this number. Take it off
Speaker 1: your list, please, Okay, I do not call on my phone.
Speaker 3: Oh we don't respect it do not call policy.
Speaker 1: But you have to respect it, sir. What is your name?
Speaker 3: This is mister Michael Oppenheimer.
Speaker 1: Oppenheimer, and who gives you the right to go into
Speaker 1: people's phones and hold it up when I'm waiting an
Speaker 1: emergency call. I yesked you to get off the phone.
Speaker 1: You've called six times.
Speaker 3: But we have here's the thing that we.
Speaker 1: Have, no thing. Get off the wire and leave my
Speaker 1: phone number alone.
Speaker 3: What's your name?
Speaker 1: It's none of your business. My name is Okay, I'm.
Speaker 3: Going to look it up in the computer here, hold
Speaker 3: on to take a look.
Speaker 1: Care no, goodbye, good bye bye, but this list is
Speaker 1: good bye hello. Listen to me. Yes, would you please
Speaker 1: get off my phone? This is an emergency home. If
Speaker 1: you have called me for six times, you say you
Speaker 1: know my name, you say you know my number. I
Speaker 1: do not want any dogs. I can't contribute to the dogs.
Speaker 1: I've got a strict husband here, and if you don't
Speaker 1: stop harassing me, I'm going to call the police on you.
Speaker 3: Misattracted.
Speaker 1: You've got to stop this.
Speaker 3: Stop misattracted Smith.
Speaker 1: Calling, Stop calling my name.
Speaker 3: I'm being calm. I'm being calm.
Speaker 1: You can't calm. You're tying up my phone for the
Speaker 1: last half hours. How are you to do this?
Speaker 3: I'm mister Michael Offenheimer, and all I want to do
Speaker 3: is just tell you about adopted pat New Year's bonanza
Speaker 3: going on. You stop it, miss attracted. All I want
Speaker 3: to tell you everything must go.
Speaker 1: Get off the phone.
Speaker 3: An annual liquidation sale that comes only once a year.
Speaker 1: You're holding up my phone for emergency servers. Now I'm
Speaker 1: going to report it to the police.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: Now I've got to get the police.
Speaker 3: We have pure bread starting at three hundred dollars and
Speaker 3: mixed breeds at two hundred dollars. Yes, oh yes, missus
Speaker 3: Smith please scary Jones, and you've been phone taking.
Speaker 1: These people should not give people heart attacks on the
Speaker 1: other side of the phone.
Speaker 3: Your grandson Garrett put us up to it.
Speaker 1: Oh really, well, I just reported him to the police.
Speaker 3: Is he in trouble?
Speaker 1: This joke? My grandson, Your grandson Andy.
Speaker 3: Elvis Duran's phone tab. This phone table was pre recorded
Speaker 3: with the permission granted by all participants.
Speaker 2: The Elvis Duran phone tab only on Elvis Duran in
Speaker 2: the Morning Show