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Speaker 1: Don't answer the phone. Elvis Duran, the Elvis Duran phone.

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Speaker 2: Tap Scary, I swear to God, Scary picks up more

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Speaker 2: women when he does. Is Michael Oppenheimer impersonation.

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Speaker 3: Someone asked me to do Oppenheimer in the bedroom once.

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Speaker 3: Talk to me like Michael Oppenheimer.

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Speaker 2: Well that person is a sick oh crazy. The email

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Speaker 2: coming into our studio says, I want you to phone

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Speaker 2: tap as many people in my family as you can,

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Speaker 2: because I love your phone taps.

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Speaker 3: My aunt, my uncle, my grandmother.

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Speaker 2: They all live together, and they all hate telemarketers. They'll

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Speaker 2: lie through their false teeth just to get those people

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Speaker 2: off the phone. Please have Michael Oppenheimer call and harass

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Speaker 2: them to the best of his ability. You'll love the result,

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Speaker 2: especially for my grandma. She's got the shortest temper of all.

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Speaker 2: This comes from Garrett Michael Oppenheimer. Today's phone tap.

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Speaker 1: Hello, This is.

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Speaker 3: Mister Michael Oppenheimer with the Animal League. How are you

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Speaker 3: doing today, Miss fine?

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Speaker 1: Thank you.

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Speaker 3: We have the adopted pet bananza going on here. We

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Speaker 3: have a lot of pets that need some homes.

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Speaker 1: Well I'm not really interested, thank you.

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Speaker 3: We have Don Tippet. Hello, this is mister michaelap And

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Speaker 3: with our Animal League. How are you doing Today's Are

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Speaker 3: all right?

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Speaker 1: Did you just call up?

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Speaker 3: Yes? I did.

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Speaker 2: No, we're not animal friendly here, okay, we must.

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Speaker 3: We must have gotten disconnected. We have the adopted pet

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Speaker 3: bananza going on today.

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Speaker 1: Are you suld we're not animal friendly?

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Speaker 3: Okay, but maybe you can be friendly after this phone calls?

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Speaker 1: No, I don't think so.

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Speaker 3: Do you want a dog? Sir?

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Speaker 1: Oh?

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Speaker 3: Yes, this is mister Michael whoever it is.

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Speaker 1: I'll have this trace.

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Speaker 3: Miss.

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Speaker 1: You keep calling me. I'm telling you you're going to

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Speaker 1: be in big trouble.

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Speaker 3: We have dogs, avail.

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Speaker 1: I don't care what you have available, pal, Okay, stop

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Speaker 1: bothering me.

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Speaker 3: These dogs need homes.

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Speaker 1: Maybe you need a home.

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Speaker 3: Do you have a dog or a cat?

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Speaker 1: Would you like to adopt a dog or a cat?

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Speaker 3: Yes? Would you like to?

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Speaker 1: Would you?

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Speaker 3: Yes?

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Speaker 1: Then go get one alone, because if you call one

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Speaker 1: more time, I'll have your trade. Miss.

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Speaker 3: Can I tell you about our annual pactacular blowouts? Out?

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Speaker 3: Care what you have?

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Speaker 1: Shove them?

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Speaker 3: We have dogs?

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Speaker 1: Hello?

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Speaker 3: Oh, yes, good afternoon. This is mister Michael Eppenham with

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Speaker 3: Animal League. How are you doing today?

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Speaker 1: Man? I'm sorry I cannot talk with you, right, Yes

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Speaker 1: you can.

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Speaker 3: Won't you take a couple of minutes out of your

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Speaker 3: day so we could talk to you about our annual.

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Speaker 1: Excuse me, sir, Yes, you have called this number four times.

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Speaker 1: I'm not interested in what you have to ask me,

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Speaker 1: and take my phone number off your mailing list. I'll

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Speaker 1: report you to the do not Call.

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Speaker 3: We cannot do that at this time.

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Speaker 1: Man, Please get me off the hang up on this wire.

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Speaker 1: I'm waiting an emergency goal we have adopted, but I'm

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Speaker 1: not interested. Do you understand, mister Oppenheim, and why I

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Speaker 1: am not interested? I have analogy in this house. We

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Speaker 1: are all allergic to pets.

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Speaker 3: You take medicine for the allergy.

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Speaker 1: Don't worry about my medicine.

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Speaker 3: We want to tell you about our dogs on debit.

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Speaker 1: I don't need a dog.

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Speaker 3: We got cats on credit.

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Speaker 1: I don't need your credit with cats.

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Speaker 3: We have reptiles for rent. Maybe you have a son

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Speaker 3: that likes it.

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Speaker 1: To you don't have any more sons living with me.

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Speaker 3: Does somebody want to play with an iguana?

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Speaker 1: Not that I know of.

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Speaker 3: No, we have purebreads starting at three hundred dollars.

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Speaker 1: May I have your phone number? I can call you back.

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Speaker 3: Oh no, not at this time. We are at a central.

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Speaker 1: Office, me Yess's central office, and who do you represent?

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Speaker 3: Were located in a central office in.

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Speaker 1: Idaho, in Idaho. Well you should go back to Idaho

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Speaker 1: and bother the people in Idaho because I can't be

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Speaker 1: bothered any longer.

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Speaker 3: We can schedule an appointment for you.

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Speaker 1: You've got the wrong number, wrong address. I do not

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Speaker 1: have a dog. I have a allergy to dogs, and

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Speaker 1: I wish we'd stop using this number. Take it off

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Speaker 1: your list, please, Okay, I do not call on my phone.

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Speaker 3: Oh we don't respect it do not call policy.

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Speaker 1: But you have to respect it, sir. What is your name?

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Speaker 3: This is mister Michael Oppenheimer.

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Speaker 1: Oppenheimer, and who gives you the right to go into

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Speaker 1: people's phones and hold it up when I'm waiting an

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Speaker 1: emergency call. I yesked you to get off the phone.

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Speaker 1: You've called six times.

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Speaker 3: But we have here's the thing that we.

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Speaker 1: Have, no thing. Get off the wire and leave my

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Speaker 1: phone number alone.

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Speaker 3: What's your name?

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Speaker 1: It's none of your business. My name is Okay, I'm.

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Speaker 3: Going to look it up in the computer here, hold

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Speaker 3: on to take a look.

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Speaker 1: Care no, goodbye, good bye bye, but this list is

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Speaker 1: good bye hello. Listen to me. Yes, would you please

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Speaker 1: get off my phone? This is an emergency home. If

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Speaker 1: you have called me for six times, you say you

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Speaker 1: know my name, you say you know my number. I

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Speaker 1: do not want any dogs. I can't contribute to the dogs.

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Speaker 1: I've got a strict husband here, and if you don't

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Speaker 1: stop harassing me, I'm going to call the police on you.

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Speaker 3: Misattracted.

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Speaker 1: You've got to stop this.

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Speaker 3: Stop misattracted Smith.

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Speaker 1: Calling, Stop calling my name.

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Speaker 3: I'm being calm. I'm being calm.

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Speaker 1: You can't calm. You're tying up my phone for the

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Speaker 1: last half hours. How are you to do this?

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Speaker 3: I'm mister Michael Offenheimer, and all I want to do

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Speaker 3: is just tell you about adopted pat New Year's bonanza

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Speaker 3: going on. You stop it, miss attracted. All I want

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Speaker 3: to tell you everything must go.

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Speaker 1: Get off the phone.

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Speaker 3: An annual liquidation sale that comes only once a year.

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Speaker 1: You're holding up my phone for emergency servers. Now I'm

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Speaker 1: going to report it to the police.

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Speaker 3: I'm sorry.

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Speaker 1: Now I've got to get the police.

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Speaker 3: We have pure bread starting at three hundred dollars and

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Speaker 3: mixed breeds at two hundred dollars. Yes, oh yes, missus

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Speaker 3: Smith please scary Jones, and you've been phone taking.

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Speaker 1: These people should not give people heart attacks on the

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Speaker 1: other side of the phone.

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Speaker 3: Your grandson Garrett put us up to it.

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Speaker 1: Oh really, well, I just reported him to the police.

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Speaker 3: Is he in trouble?

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Speaker 1: This joke? My grandson, Your grandson Andy.

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Speaker 3: Elvis Duran's phone tab. This phone table was pre recorded

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Speaker 3: with the permission granted by all participants.

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Speaker 2: The Elvis Duran phone tab only on Elvis Duran in

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Speaker 2: the Morning Show