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Speaker 1: I mentioned in my last post, I was thinking of

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Speaker 1: sharing some stories from before I finally got the restraining

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Speaker 1: order against my lovely stepmother and winnow contact with my father.

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Speaker 1: Though there were plenty worth writing about, I'll start with

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Speaker 1: one of my sister's favorites.

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Speaker 2: All the names here are fake.

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Speaker 1: My fiance Jane, found out she was pregnant in June

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Speaker 1: of twenty twenty one, and we announced it to our

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Speaker 1: immediate families in August. At first, stepmother was completely uninterested

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Speaker 1: in our baby, not that I expected much from the

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Speaker 1: woman whose reaction to our pregnancy announcement was to ask

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Speaker 1: Jane if she.

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Speaker 2: Was sure it was not God venus.

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Speaker 1: Even my dad berated her for that one, but she

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Speaker 1: barely seemed to acknowledge the fact that we were expecting. Instead,

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Speaker 1: she was more interested in my stepbrother, who was also

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Speaker 1: engaged and would give her beautiful grand babies soon no complaints.

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Speaker 1: We didn't want her involved, and we didn't even have

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Speaker 1: to say anything. Planning our baby showers was complicated. Both

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Speaker 1: me and Jane would have to work until the holidays,

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Speaker 1: and I wanted to be involved. The do date was

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Speaker 1: in February twenty twenty two, so we decided early January

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Speaker 1: as the best period of time. We had enlisted two

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Speaker 1: people as planners, my sister Laura and Jane's best friend Nina.

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Speaker 1: Me and Jane are mostly laid back people. We didn't

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Speaker 1: want a big party, nor did we want to spend

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Speaker 1: too much money on it. We were saving for both

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Speaker 1: our baby and the wedding. We decided early on that

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Speaker 1: the shower would be co ed. It would also have

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Speaker 1: to be indoors again January and we settled on a

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Speaker 1: guest list of around twenty five people plus a dozen kids.

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Speaker 1: We came up with the idea of a pizza party.

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Speaker 1: Me Jane Luke have had homemade pizza nights weekly since

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Speaker 1: I moved in, and we thought it would be fun

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Speaker 1: to incorporate that into the shower. Nina found an event

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Speaker 1: venue with a pizza oven, and Laura figured out ways

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Speaker 1: to incorporate classic baby shower stuff into the theme, like

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Speaker 1: bun in the oven.

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Speaker 2: Maybe that could work. Yeah, classic, that's great.

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Speaker 1: The resulting plans were awesome. Make your own pizzas, non

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Speaker 1: alcoholic drinks, and plain bodysuits for the kids to customize

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Speaker 1: plain body suits.

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Speaker 2: That's interesting.

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Speaker 1: Nina and Laura mixed pizza decor with baby decor, and

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Speaker 1: found pizza shaped sweets as well. It almost seemed messy,

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Speaker 1: and I was surprised that they made it work, but

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Speaker 1: we loved it.

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Speaker 2: Most of the planning was finished by the middle of November.

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Speaker 1: Well later that month, my stepmother's fiance left him for

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Speaker 1: her ex.

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Speaker 2: Oh wow.

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Speaker 1: They'd been together for four years at that point, and

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Speaker 1: it was both sudden and traumatizing for him.

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Speaker 2: He was devastated.

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Speaker 1: I mean, when you're the devils, when you're the devil's offspring,

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Speaker 1: you know, people might.

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Speaker 2: Not want to believe believe you. I don't know. Oh man,

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Speaker 2: that's terrible.

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Speaker 1: Stepmother then realized the grandkids she dreamed of would take

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Speaker 1: longer to come than she thought, so naturally, without her

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Speaker 1: son's milestones to obsess over, she moved on to mind. Suddenly,

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Speaker 1: Stepmother went from aloof relative to excited grandma to be

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Speaker 1: Facebook posts taki promoted to Nana t shirts, the whole

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Speaker 1: nine yards. At first, we were too busy finishing things

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Speaker 1: up at work and getting ready for the holidays to

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Speaker 1: worry about that, but it didn't take long for her

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Speaker 1: to start pressuring us about planning the baby shower as well.

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Speaker 2: As the gender reveal. Oh, we know how this is

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Speaker 2: gonna end.

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Speaker 1: We denied the possibility of a gender reveal party. No

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Speaker 1: offense to those who like him, but we don't. Plus,

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Speaker 1: we had decided to wait until the birth to find

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Speaker 1: out the sex. Stepmother tried to get us to find

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Speaker 1: out and tell her as a Christmas present, but we

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Speaker 1: did it. We also denied her the baby shower planning.

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Speaker 1: She told my father and he also told my sister

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Speaker 1: Laura and got her into letting Stepmom help out with

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Speaker 1: the plans. She was still living with them at the time,

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Speaker 1: so she didn't have much of a choice. She called

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Speaker 1: Nina and they met stepmother for coffee. Though I wasn't

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Speaker 1: there for that meeting, Laura told me what happened later.

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Speaker 1: Before they could even mention their plans, Stepmother started talking

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Speaker 1: about hers. According to Laura, she pulled out a shockingly

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Speaker 1: thick binder complete with the words okay baby on the cover,

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Speaker 1: colorful tabs and pieces of fabric poking out from her bag,

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Speaker 1: and skipped to the shower section. She has a whole

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Speaker 1: binder for her like future, which which hey could actually

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Speaker 1: be adorable if she wasn't Satan's off off Okay, this

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Speaker 1: is og offspring.

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Speaker 3: This is where I think she got it from. She

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Speaker 3: had one for her son and then like, oh that

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Speaker 3: it works. So she just like slept on the baby's

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Speaker 3: name and was like, okay, here it is for them.

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Speaker 3: That's that's where she got that from. I don't think.

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Speaker 1: And and with all of this, like you know, she's

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Speaker 1: she's so behind on it now. She's like going full

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Speaker 1: speed and trying to cram all of her book down

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Speaker 1: everyone's throat. She's like, all right, I'm late to the game.

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Speaker 1: Let's let's turn to page four hundred and seventy six,

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Speaker 1: Section A, Chapter B. Like, dude, Laura sent me pictures

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Speaker 1: and oh, oh boy, I'll give her this. It looked

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Speaker 1: like the most instagrammable baby shower ever. That being said,

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Speaker 1: it was also barely functional and obviously expensive. There were balloons,

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Speaker 1: oversized teddy bears, giant alphabetic blocks, and cringe rudy size everywhere.

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Speaker 1: Stepmother was going for pretty over cozy, with uncomfortable chairs,

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Speaker 1: and some fancy food ideas that didn't look edible. Most

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Speaker 1: of them had soft cheeses, which Jane cannot eat, although

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Speaker 1: in defense like can she eat pizza if she can't

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Speaker 1: eat cheese, but the cheese I'll give it to Yeah.

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Speaker 1: The color palette was three different shades of pink with

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Speaker 1: gold accents. We'd be fine with a pink baby shower

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Speaker 1: if she at least tried to mix things up a little.

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Speaker 1: But stepmother's pictures also looks like Barbie had puked all

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Speaker 1: over Hella Katy's birthday party.

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Speaker 4: My god.

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Speaker 1: When Nina tried to remind her that we didn't know

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Speaker 1: the sex yet, Stepmother said that she just knew it

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Speaker 1: was a girl.

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Speaker 2: Spoiler alert, it wasn't, Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: Stepmother also wanted an all female, child free party with

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Speaker 1: fancy caterers and alcohol. She had written down a guest

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Speaker 1: selection list containing some of her closest friends. Neither mine

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Speaker 1: nor Jane's own mothers were on her list, and she

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Speaker 1: played party games no one had any interest in trying out. Basically,

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Speaker 1: the only thing ever could agree on was the party

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Speaker 1: was endorsed. Bro Laura and Nina weren't given an opportunity

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Speaker 1: to show her plans until she was done. Once they could,

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Speaker 1: they explained that while they could find a way to

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Speaker 1: incorporate some of Stepmother's ideas, they had already settled on

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Speaker 1: the pizza Thane. She tried to protest, but Laura stated

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Speaker 1: that it was kind of them to even offer, including

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Speaker 1: some of her ideas, as the shower was a month

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Speaker 1: away and we'd already greenlit all of their plans. Stepmother

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Speaker 1: even called me to try to get them to change

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Speaker 1: their minds, but I just repeated their words back. My

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Speaker 1: dad had found out that he couldn't come to the shower,

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Speaker 1: so he didn't even get a say in anything anymore.

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Speaker 1: The holidays came around and the subject was dropped. Stepmother

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Speaker 1: seemed to be okay with the pizza party. Nina managed

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Speaker 1: to pair some of the pink decor she'd wanted with

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Speaker 1: the matching blue stuff and even got one of those

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Speaker 1: huge teddy bears, so they even did put some of.

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Speaker 2: Her stuff in.

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Speaker 1: Then, Yeah, it seems like it wasn't even like totally

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Speaker 1: just you know, not any of anything. No, but they

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Speaker 1: said we can do a little bit, a little bit.

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Speaker 1: Totally totally fair, totally reasonable. Fast forward to a week

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Speaker 1: before the shower, Jane was almost eight months pregnant. Everything

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Speaker 1: had been bought, all the guests at rsvped, and pretty

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Speaker 1: much everything was ready to go. The shower was set

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Speaker 1: to start at seven pm. Stepmother offered to get to

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Speaker 1: the venue earlier to help prepare everything.

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Speaker 2: Hmmm, I don't like this either.

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Speaker 1: Laura agreed, mostly because she knew Stepmother would complain if

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Speaker 1: she didn't get to do anything, and the venue even

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Speaker 1: let them drop off the decorations before the party. Me

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Speaker 1: and Jane promised to get there at around six two

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Speaker 1: days before the shower. However, the venue called Nina. They

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Speaker 1: told her that Stepmom had stopped by to drop off large,

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Speaker 1: heavy boxes of what she called a little surprise for us.

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Speaker 1: She'd informed them that she'd planned on showing up at

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Speaker 1: three point thirty pm to start setting up. That's hours

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Speaker 1: before the others were planning to set up. They were

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Speaker 1: calling to reinforce that the venue was only booked past

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Speaker 1: four pm, since Stepmother almost threw a tantrum when she

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Speaker 1: was told that all of the decor was still at

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Speaker 1: Nina's place, so she called Laura to check if they'd

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Speaker 1: left anything with the step mom. I guess thinking like, oh,

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Speaker 1: maybe the step mom just like brought it over early. Thankfully,

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Speaker 1: my sister is both smart and used to this crap

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Speaker 1: from Stepmom, so she drove to the venue the next

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Speaker 1: day and asked to see stepmother's boxes.

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Speaker 2: She told me she wasn't even.

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Speaker 1: Surprised at its contents when she opened them, but was

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Speaker 1: still shocked at stepmother's audacity. All of the boxes were

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Speaker 1: filled with pink, frilly decorations. Some of them seemed to

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Speaker 1: be the exact same items that Stepmom had initially showed

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Speaker 1: Laura and Nina, the signs, the balloons, the place mats, everything. No,

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Speaker 1: Laura realized that's why Stepmom intended to get to the

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Speaker 1: venue earlier to set up the baby shower she had

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Speaker 1: planned and pretty much force all of us to party

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Speaker 1: in Barbie hell.

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Speaker 2: With her dude.

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Speaker 4: Dude.

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Speaker 1: She called Nina to figure out what to do. Neither

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Speaker 1: of them could come at four pm, so it was

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Speaker 1: almost inevitable for Stepmom to get her way. Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: this is like a mission impossible, like baby shower, Like

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Speaker 1: we have to hit the buzzer at four pm before

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Speaker 1: the bum We have to cut the pink wire before

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Speaker 1: she could even get there. The most obvious solution they

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Speaker 1: came up with was to throw everything away Stepmom and

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Speaker 1: I gonna like that, uh, but Laura had a better idea.

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Speaker 1: That night, they called me and Jane, Hey, want to

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Speaker 1: destroy a party in two hours. Laura got home and

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Speaker 1: invited step Mom to go to the salon with her,

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Speaker 1: lying about having coupons. Stepmom agreed, and they planned on

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Speaker 1: going right after Stepmom was done preparing the baby shower.

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Speaker 1: At four pm the next day, Stepmom got to the venue,

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Speaker 1: she was done setting things up by five.

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Speaker 2: I'll admit the woman is fast. She's awful.

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Speaker 1: Gosh darn it if she ain't good at being evil,

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Speaker 1: and quickly left to meet Laura at the salon. Once

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Speaker 1: they were together, Laura, Texanina. The coast was clear. At

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Speaker 1: that me, Jane and Nina went to the venue, and

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Speaker 1: sure enough, step Mom had prepared her party. To make

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Speaker 1: this shorter, I won't to describe it, but I will

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Speaker 1: say it was so pink that it almost gave Jane nausea.

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Speaker 1: For the next two hours, Laura distracted Stepmother at the

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Speaker 1: salon while the three of us quickly took to taking

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Speaker 1: everything down that Stepmother had put up and replaced it

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Speaker 1: with all the pizza party stuff. We set up the activities,

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Speaker 1: made up the tables, and put every pink item we

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Speaker 1: found back into Stepmom's boxes. It was actually really fun.

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Speaker 1: We were only done in minutes before the shower started.

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Speaker 1: Nice bro, I am just like I am quaking in

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Speaker 1: my seat to see the Stepmom's reaction.

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Speaker 2: This is gonna be bad.

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Speaker 1: A handful of guests arrived before Stepmother did, so I

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Speaker 1: barely saw her all night. Laura told me that when

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Speaker 1: she got there, Stepmother's jaw dropped as she tried to

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Speaker 1: make sense of what had happened to all of her

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Speaker 1: pink decore. My sister just smiled and whispered nice try

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Speaker 1: oo and went to help Luke customize a body suit.

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Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, boom.

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Speaker 1: Overall, the baby shower was everything we had hoped for.

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Speaker 1: Our friends were there, peeple had fun, We had a

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Speaker 1: ton of pizza, so I didn't really care that Stepmother

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Speaker 1: spent the whole party literally sulking in the corner. Nina

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Speaker 1: did try to catch her trying to put little pink

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Speaker 1: bows on top of cupcakes, but she quickly shut that down.

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Speaker 2: God, this woman has no oswach.

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Speaker 1: I gave Laura and Nina full credit for saving the day.

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Speaker 1: Stepmother's interest in our baby quickly died after that. She

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Speaker 1: stopped wearing her Nana T shirts, didn't come to see

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Speaker 1: us at the hospital when she was born, and refused

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Speaker 1: to even acknowledge that he was a boy until she

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Speaker 1: met him weeks later. Up until we went no contact,

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Speaker 1: she was a very loose definition of the word grandmother.

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Speaker 1: I couldn't be more grateful. My son will never know her.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 1: So now we I feel like we know the history

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Speaker 1: of like them. You know, at fifteen when she came

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Speaker 1: into Opie's life. We have way more context into all

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Speaker 1: of this stuff. But Riley, we have the finale. Uh oh,

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Speaker 1: there's more, Harry on the cake part five.

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Speaker 2: Give it to me.

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Speaker 1: After being engaged for over two years, me and Jane

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Speaker 1: finally dumped each other. Just kidding, Riley, goshun, I get you.

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Speaker 2: Not another one.

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Speaker 1: They finally got married last Saturday. Congrats, guys. We're still

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Speaker 1: getting used to calling each other husband and wife, but

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Speaker 1: we'll get there.

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Speaker 2: Hopefully a.

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Speaker 1: Ray of sunshiness, freaking monstrous storm.

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Speaker 2: That they need something like that.

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Speaker 1: The wedding was awesome, the kids had fun, our extended

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Speaker 1: families finally met, and we danced so much I could

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Speaker 1: barely stand the next day. Kind of like Riley doing

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Speaker 1: four hundred squats in a row. And I'm struggling to

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Speaker 1: hold himself up while he's urinating in a toilet. True story.

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Speaker 1: Luke Luke took his ring bear duties very seriously and

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Speaker 1: held my son's hand as they walked down the aisle.

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Speaker 1: The dude tears started trying to make its way up there.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, that is that is so knowing what

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Speaker 1: he's been through to Oh oh my god. Besides my

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Speaker 1: aunt getting shit faced and being let out on a wheelchair,

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Speaker 1: which which I already thought would happen. Anyways, everything went

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Speaker 1: according to plant.

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Speaker 2: There we go. Okay.

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Speaker 1: We love to hear this, love to hear this. It's

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Speaker 1: been four months since we got the restraining order against stepmother.

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Speaker 1: Things have been mostly quiet, and I wouldn't have it

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Speaker 1: any other way except not completely quiet.

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Speaker 2: But we can't always get what we want.

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Speaker 1: I never really worried about stepmother showing up at the wedding,

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Speaker 1: especially after the restraining order.

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Speaker 2: That would be correl I have new, dude.

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Speaker 3: I really thought like she would just like emerge at

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Speaker 3: the after party, just like with decorations ready, like crazy

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Speaker 3: eyed miss me.

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Speaker 1: It's been literally a legal for her to come close

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Speaker 1: to us, and we've made it very clear that if

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Speaker 1: she tried, we would call the cops right away. My

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00:15:07,720 --> 00:15:10,960
Speaker 1: friends still warned me to take safety measures, most of

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Speaker 1: which I did. Stepmother didn't show up, of course, but

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Speaker 1: I'm a strong believer that any money spent on security

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Speaker 1: is well spent. Wow, he had a higher security at

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Speaker 1: his own wedding for his step mom.

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Speaker 2: God, so no regress.

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Speaker 1: In the end, my stepbrother and I wished each other

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Speaker 1: happy birthdays, and he also texted Jane on hers back

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Speaker 1: in June. That's the only contact we've had during these months.

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Speaker 1: He knows that the door is still open if he

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Speaker 1: wants to apologize, all right, we'll talk on more on

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Speaker 1: that in event. I can see Riley's got some thoughts.

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Speaker 1: My dad has given up on trying to reach me.

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Speaker 1: We haven't spoken since April. He's still trying to talk

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Speaker 1: to my sister for some reason, but she's ignoring him.

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Speaker 1: A few days after she went no contact with him,

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Speaker 1: they had a huge fight over the phone about stepmother's

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00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:04,320
Speaker 1: treatment of us over the years. Insults were thrown sore,

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00:16:04,440 --> 00:16:07,960
Speaker 1: subjects were brought up, and most importantly, my father took

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00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:13,359
Speaker 1: Stepmother's side on almost everything. My sister called me crying afterwards.

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00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:15,960
Speaker 1: I wanted to call him and yell at him, but

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00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:18,800
Speaker 1: she told me not to. She's doing okay now. She

307
00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:21,600
Speaker 1: hasn't blocked him, but she doesn't take his calls or

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00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:25,160
Speaker 1: answer his texts. She's only gotten three a week apology,

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Speaker 1: one on my birthday back in May, a long rance

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Speaker 1: after neither of us wished him a happy Father's Day.

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Speaker 1: After all, despite our differences, he's our father.

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Speaker 2: He's not wrong.

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Speaker 1: I love my father and I always will, but I

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Speaker 1: can't be around him anymore. While I've closed that door,

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Speaker 1: I'm not locking it just yet. He knows what he

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Speaker 1: needs to do if he wants his family back. I

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Speaker 1: don't think he'll do it, but if there's the slightest

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Speaker 1: chance he might, I'll consider opening that door an inch

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Speaker 1: or two. This is my wife's suggestion. I'm a lot

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Speaker 1: less optimistic than she is, but maybe it's important to

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Speaker 1: hold onto that hope. She hasn't for given him though.

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Speaker 1: Or stepmother Jane has always been very protective of Luke,

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Speaker 1: so it was no surprise that this disaster shook her. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'll say a part of me was scared she'd blame me,

325
00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:13,600
Speaker 1: but she called me a dumbass when I told her

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00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:16,960
Speaker 1: that Jane is a real one. I've been in therapy

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00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:19,000
Speaker 1: for a few months and it's helped a lot more

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Speaker 1: than I would have thought. I've realized stepmother's behavior around

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Speaker 1: me growing up was a lot worse than even I

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Speaker 1: always thought, and it's great to finally be able to

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00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:29,600
Speaker 1: get my feelings off my chest. Right now, I'm more

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00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:32,480
Speaker 1: than happy. I just married the most amazing woman ever,

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00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:35,120
Speaker 1: and I have the family I always dreamed of. None

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Speaker 1: of us are perfect, but I never thought life would

335
00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:40,240
Speaker 1: be this great to me. I'll stick around right It

336
00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:41,960
Speaker 1: is a lot more than I expected, but I can

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00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,680
Speaker 1: sleep peacefully now, so it's safe to say this will

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Speaker 1: be my last update on this.

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Speaker 2: Thank you all for.

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00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:50,520
Speaker 1: The kindness and the advice you gave me over these months.

341
00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:53,160
Speaker 1: I could have never expected the support I got from

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00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:56,160
Speaker 1: you guys, and I can't begin to describe how helpful

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00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:59,280
Speaker 1: it all was. Seriously, thank you all.

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Speaker 2: Quick edit.

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Speaker 1: My stepbrother called earlier today. Apparently he and stepmother had

346
00:18:04,359 --> 00:18:07,840
Speaker 1: a fight and he wants to meet up. I agreed

347
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:09,560
Speaker 1: as long as it was just the two of us.

348
00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:12,400
Speaker 1: We're meeting up for coffee on Wednesday. I have no

349
00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:15,440
Speaker 1: idea what to expect, but even if he does apologize,

350
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Speaker 1: I need to know he understands how and why he.

351
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Speaker 2: Let us down.

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00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:21,159
Speaker 1: At A number two, I rescheduled to meet up with

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00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:23,159
Speaker 1: me and Jane leaving for a honeymoon on Friday. I

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00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:26,400
Speaker 1: decided that no matter the outcome of the conversation with

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Speaker 1: my stepbrother, I didn't want to spend the whole trip

356
00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:31,920
Speaker 1: thinking about it. He understood, and we're going to talk

357
00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:35,439
Speaker 1: when I'm back. Dang a cliff a cliffhanger to end

358
00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:40,920
Speaker 1: on there. But oh man, I'm watching Star Wars right now,

359
00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:43,720
Speaker 1: like the all all of the movies through. But I'm

360
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:49,440
Speaker 1: just like imagining the step mother as what Chancellor Palpatine,

361
00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:53,200
Speaker 1: the sith Lord that's like ruling over everything and and

362
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:56,439
Speaker 1: and the stepbrother is Darth Vader, and she's like, you

363
00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:59,800
Speaker 1: will follow me and build an empire of hate against

364
00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:03,080
Speaker 1: and all of his children and everyone he loves. And

365
00:19:03,119 --> 00:19:05,800
Speaker 1: the stepbrother is like, yo, do I become Darth Vader?

366
00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:07,520
Speaker 1: Do I take it all back?

367
00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:10,240
Speaker 2: And you know what I mean, Darth Finder does change

368
00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:12,040
Speaker 2: at the end. Oh he did.

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00:19:12,359 --> 00:19:17,600
Speaker 1: Oh It's okay, okay, good right. I would have been

370
00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:24,000
Speaker 1: like the fire Oh my god, But yeah, dude, uh

371
00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:26,919
Speaker 1: so we had. We have a lot to dissect in

372
00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:30,320
Speaker 1: this story. Maybe maybe a few questions come to mind

373
00:19:30,359 --> 00:19:34,680
Speaker 1: for you, Riley and and everybody watching. One was Opie

374
00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:38,720
Speaker 1: Wright to uh cut his father out of his life?

375
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:42,760
Speaker 3: My question is what could the step mother and step

376
00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:45,439
Speaker 3: brother said to each other for the step brother to

377
00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:48,800
Speaker 3: reach back out, Like do you think he finally turned around?

378
00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:51,879
Speaker 3: Or is he like like what the dad did where

379
00:19:52,119 --> 00:19:55,280
Speaker 3: it looked like he turned around, but on actuality he

380
00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:58,160
Speaker 3: was like kind of like trying to be like, oh,

381
00:19:58,160 --> 00:19:59,560
Speaker 3: the stepmother is still a good person.

382
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,760
Speaker 2: Definitely. Yeah, So let's answer each other.

383
00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:05,600
Speaker 1: So what, uh do you think Ope should have cut

384
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Speaker 1: off his dad and gone completely no contact?

385
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:10,520
Speaker 3: I mean yeah, it just seemed like the right thing

386
00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:13,040
Speaker 3: to do. Like right after they got out of court,

387
00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:15,119
Speaker 3: he called him and he was like, Okay, this looks

388
00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:17,320
Speaker 3: this looks up, you know, and it wasn't. He was

389
00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:19,919
Speaker 3: still like like, why are you not seeing her as

390
00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:20,560
Speaker 3: a good person?

391
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:23,200
Speaker 2: That right there? And he's not seeing.

392
00:20:23,119 --> 00:20:25,639
Speaker 3: How horrible she is, Like she like beat up a

393
00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:28,040
Speaker 3: kid and has a restraining order?

394
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:30,160
Speaker 4: Like what else?

395
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:32,840
Speaker 2: Reason brow.

396
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:37,119
Speaker 3: Like, Yeah, So I just and I think like and

397
00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:40,800
Speaker 3: I think Opie's sister has been having a really hard

398
00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:42,600
Speaker 3: time with the dad too, and it just seems like

399
00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:46,760
Speaker 3: he's like it being very stubborn and it just to

400
00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:49,720
Speaker 3: a certain point you just can't handle it, and no

401
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:53,119
Speaker 3: good conversations will come out of anything going forward, you know,

402
00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:55,399
Speaker 3: like if you can't, if he can't get past this,

403
00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:58,360
Speaker 3: there's really no reason to continue a relationship.

404
00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:00,960
Speaker 2: Which it sucks, but it makes sense totally.

405
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:03,840
Speaker 1: And I also, like I wanted to point out op

406
00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:06,639
Speaker 1: basically said like I still love my dad, but I

407
00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:09,320
Speaker 1: can't be around him, and the door is not locked,

408
00:21:09,359 --> 00:21:12,320
Speaker 1: like there is always a way potentially back in. And

409
00:21:12,359 --> 00:21:15,520
Speaker 1: I think that's a very like because you know, so

410
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:17,159
Speaker 1: often to the stories you know, we have, like the

411
00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:19,560
Speaker 1: divorce chan like the no contact shit, you know, but

412
00:21:20,119 --> 00:21:24,040
Speaker 1: like it is a really it is a really hard

413
00:21:24,359 --> 00:21:30,360
Speaker 1: thing to like let go of your father, Like that

414
00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:32,760
Speaker 1: is a you know, especially if they raised you in

415
00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:35,679
Speaker 1: a not like you you know, like it can it

416
00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:38,280
Speaker 1: can be a really hard thing. So like I think,

417
00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:41,640
Speaker 1: you know, it is it is important to approach these

418
00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:43,200
Speaker 1: kinds of things with lots of thought. And I thought

419
00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:45,520
Speaker 1: that that was a very thoughtful way of him being

420
00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:48,560
Speaker 1: like I'm gonna protect you know, my family of you know,

421
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:52,000
Speaker 1: my children, my wife, like everyone else, but and like

422
00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:54,360
Speaker 1: I can't be around you right now, but there could

423
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:55,040
Speaker 1: be a way back.

424
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:55,919
Speaker 2: I do still love you.

425
00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:58,120
Speaker 1: Like I thought that was a very like fair, fair

426
00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:01,720
Speaker 1: approach that I liked hearing to answer and to answer

427
00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:05,480
Speaker 1: your question. Yeah, I mean I think the step mom

428
00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:07,720
Speaker 1: just just did her thing. Yeah, she just did her

429
00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:13,240
Speaker 1: trademark classic tm BS ory to the to the step

430
00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:17,600
Speaker 1: brother and probably like maybe maybe maybe the stepbrother started

431
00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:20,440
Speaker 1: questioning her on all of the stuff that she did,

432
00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:22,880
Speaker 1: like more, and she was like why, you know, why

433
00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:25,160
Speaker 1: did you trust me? Or you know, probably went off

434
00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:27,880
Speaker 1: on him maybe like we we know how she goes

435
00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:30,760
Speaker 1: off on people. And then he's like maybe that is

436
00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:32,680
Speaker 1: like breaking the glass for him.

437
00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:36,119
Speaker 3: Yeah, because with the stepbrother, he was kind of deemed

438
00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:38,920
Speaker 3: like the golden child because the stepmother was like, oh,

439
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:42,800
Speaker 3: he's about to have my grandchild and it's going to

440
00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:45,439
Speaker 3: be such a happy family. And then once like the

441
00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:49,560
Speaker 3: stepbrother's fiance left, I guess in a way that role

442
00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:52,320
Speaker 3: was taken away from him. And now it's like, I

443
00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:54,399
Speaker 3: guess he's still kind of dealing through that with the

444
00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:57,040
Speaker 3: step mom of like I almost had your grandchildren and

445
00:22:57,080 --> 00:22:59,760
Speaker 3: then she like really like flip flopped on him and

446
00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:01,320
Speaker 3: was with the other family because she was like, I

447
00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:02,640
Speaker 3: don't want anything to do with your kid. And then

448
00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:04,320
Speaker 3: all of a sudden she was like, I wants something

449
00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:06,560
Speaker 3: to do with your kid, and he like must be

450
00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:08,520
Speaker 3: feeling a lot of like wish you wash you with

451
00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:09,160
Speaker 3: the step mom.

452
00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:11,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's that's that's like a lot of whiplash. She'd

453
00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:13,600
Speaker 1: be like, oh, oh, she's so excited for the grandchild,

454
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:15,440
Speaker 1: and all of a sudden, I don't care about you

455
00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:15,840
Speaker 1: at all.

456
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:18,000
Speaker 2: You're not could be grandchildren. Let me go over here,

457
00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:18,639
Speaker 2: you know.

458
00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:21,560
Speaker 1: And that's her biological son too, which you know, I

459
00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:24,159
Speaker 1: mean that does I mean she's obviously been with him

460
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:26,200
Speaker 1: his whole life all that stuff. Not that a step

461
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:28,720
Speaker 1: parent can't be, you know, h a true great parent

462
00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:31,680
Speaker 1: of course, But yeah, dude, a lot of a lot

463
00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:34,280
Speaker 1: of things in this story. We need you all to

464
00:23:34,359 --> 00:23:37,040
Speaker 1: throw in your opinions. Was op right for cutting off

465
00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:40,119
Speaker 1: the dad? What do you think the stepmother said? Have

466
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:43,439
Speaker 1: you had any similar experiences like this? We definitely want

467
00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:45,560
Speaker 1: to hear all of your comments. Thanks for chilling with

468
00:23:45,560 --> 00:23:47,680
Speaker 1: me and Riley in the solo episode, and we'll see

469
00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:49,160
Speaker 1: you next time.

470
00:23:51,119 --> 00:23:53,560
Speaker 4: This is an episode from Deep Within the Archives time

471
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:59,639
Speaker 4: for okop rewam am I the a hole for using

472
00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:02,679
Speaker 4: a safe to stop my bar friend from stealing from me.

473
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:06,720
Speaker 1: You know, I think there's the obvious question, why is

474
00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:08,400
Speaker 1: your own boyfriend stealing from you.

475
00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:12,919
Speaker 4: Because hebe Well, we're in a relationship together. What's mine

476
00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:16,879
Speaker 4: is yours and what's yours is mine?

477
00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:20,200
Speaker 1: When when you have the only fans, Babe, I earn

478
00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:21,760
Speaker 1: I get a commission.

479
00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:25,320
Speaker 4: I get a commission because your body parts belong to me. Babe, Dude,

480
00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:30,360
Speaker 4: not only is your body an object of my mind,

481
00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:36,119
Speaker 4: but everything you own is also mine. Your money is mine. Like,

482
00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:38,520
Speaker 4: I just don't understand what that's so hard to understand.

483
00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:38,879
Speaker 3: You know.

484
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:42,359
Speaker 4: There's this amazing philosopher there's taught me a lot. Have

485
00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:45,560
Speaker 4: you ever heard of Andrew Tate. It's kind of like Socrates,

486
00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:51,359
Speaker 4: but Socrates for titties, you know, soccer titties, soccer hate,

487
00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:58,680
Speaker 4: soccer tint, soccer t soccer t taint, Wow, tity tant.

488
00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:01,280
Speaker 4: All right, I twenty one female and my boyfriend, twenty

489
00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:03,640
Speaker 4: three male. I have been living together for two years.

490
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:06,040
Speaker 4: There has always been a bit of a money struggle.

491
00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:08,040
Speaker 4: As I used to make more than him and may

492
00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:11,520
Speaker 4: and have usually been picking up the slack in her household. However,

493
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:14,159
Speaker 4: I have started a new job and am earning a

494
00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:16,680
Speaker 4: lot less than before, so I started to be more

495
00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:19,760
Speaker 4: cautious about the amount of time spending. During our relationship,

496
00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:22,119
Speaker 4: I would usually buy all of his toilet tries and

497
00:25:22,359 --> 00:25:25,639
Speaker 4: most household products. I told him I would not be

498
00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:28,199
Speaker 4: doing this anymore, as I need to cut down on

499
00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:30,879
Speaker 4: my own spending and he also works, so he's capable

500
00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:31,960
Speaker 4: of buying things on his own.

501
00:25:32,119 --> 00:25:33,720
Speaker 2: Most reasonable thing in the universe.

502
00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:36,119
Speaker 4: Come on, pay up, dude. I thought we had agreed

503
00:25:36,119 --> 00:25:39,080
Speaker 4: to do this, But as time has gone, I've noticed

504
00:25:39,119 --> 00:25:42,440
Speaker 4: all of my expensive skincare and even my own deodorant

505
00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:44,879
Speaker 4: being used up really quickly. At least man has a

506
00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:48,680
Speaker 4: good skincare routine. Yeah, exactly, his skin is flawless, soliss

507
00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:51,280
Speaker 4: trying to look pretty for you, babe. I asked him

508
00:25:51,359 --> 00:25:54,200
Speaker 4: multiple times to please not use my stuff, and even

509
00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:57,119
Speaker 4: bought him his own skincare stuff so he could have

510
00:25:57,280 --> 00:26:00,840
Speaker 4: his own things. No. Wow, Oh, way to a comminator

511
00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:03,840
Speaker 4: to accommodating. The thing that set me off was that

512
00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:06,359
Speaker 4: I had bought myself a two hundred and twenty dollars

513
00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:09,520
Speaker 4: face wash that is only supposed to be used sparingly.

514
00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:13,560
Speaker 4: I have horrible ezema. Is an exzema? I have horrible

515
00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:16,439
Speaker 4: exzema that I have prescriptions for, and the products I

516
00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:19,359
Speaker 4: buy are specifically for my ezema. I hadn't used it

517
00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:21,320
Speaker 4: in a while, and when I picked at the bottle

518
00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:25,560
Speaker 4: it was empty. Why he laughed and said he would

519
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:29,200
Speaker 4: replace it and then refuse when he learned the price. Bro,

520
00:26:30,119 --> 00:26:34,920
Speaker 4: why just like ask why they've already had the conversation

521
00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:39,520
Speaker 4: where they've already had and she bought him his own supplies,

522
00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:42,399
Speaker 4: so he literally has no excuse whatsoever. Hey, if this

523
00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:44,199
Speaker 4: ain't a rev flag, I don't know what is.

524
00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:44,480
Speaker 1: Man.

525
00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:47,240
Speaker 4: I took inventory of everything else I owned and found

526
00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:50,359
Speaker 4: out he had used up to eight hundred dollars worth

527
00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:56,040
Speaker 4: of product in around three months. Oh my god, damn dude,

528
00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:58,280
Speaker 4: I hope his skin be glowing.

529
00:26:58,440 --> 00:26:59,920
Speaker 2: Bro, he better have been nice.

530
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:03,560
Speaker 4: Look at like a snack. Bruh, Where is this all

531
00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:06,720
Speaker 4: going out? I know he isn't naive because I tell

532
00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:09,200
Speaker 4: him the price of everything I get and tell him

533
00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:11,480
Speaker 4: not to use them, so he knows what he's doing.

534
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:13,600
Speaker 4: He's trying to get that good good on his skin.

535
00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:15,880
Speaker 4: I ended up buying a safe that I put under

536
00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:18,400
Speaker 4: the sink, and I put everything I had left inside

537
00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:20,520
Speaker 4: and hid the key, so when I go to shower

538
00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:22,800
Speaker 4: and get ready, I can use my own things and

539
00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:25,679
Speaker 4: not worry about not affording to keep my skin in check. Dude,

540
00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:29,679
Speaker 4: break up with him. This is like you've this is

541
00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:32,240
Speaker 4: so bad you should not have to get a safe.

542
00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:34,840
Speaker 1: Imagine Imagine your friend was like, oh, yeah, I just

543
00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:36,520
Speaker 1: had to get a safe because why because like, oh,

544
00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:39,480
Speaker 1: my boyfriend kept sealing my like eggs and mus stuff

545
00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:39,719
Speaker 1: at all.

546
00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:41,000
Speaker 4: They're like, dude, break up with him.

547
00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:43,320
Speaker 1: And it's one thing if it was like just like regular,

548
00:27:43,359 --> 00:27:45,320
Speaker 1: like old makeup or whatever, but she literally has a

549
00:27:45,359 --> 00:27:46,280
Speaker 1: like a skin condition.

550
00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:48,720
Speaker 4: When he found out, he lost it and said I

551
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:51,480
Speaker 4: was overreacting and that I don't trust him. You have

552
00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:53,560
Speaker 4: given her every reason not to trust you.

553
00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:53,920
Speaker 1: Dude.

554
00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:58,359
Speaker 4: My god, it's turned into a massive deal, and my

555
00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:01,679
Speaker 4: friends think I'm being harsh. I simply cannot afford to

556
00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:05,320
Speaker 4: keep buying more skincare, and I've even been hospitalized this

557
00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:07,720
Speaker 4: year due to a huge flare up I had after

558
00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:10,520
Speaker 4: running out of the products. He's taking it very seriously,

559
00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:12,199
Speaker 4: and I don't know what else to do, as I've

560
00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:14,359
Speaker 4: already tried asking, am I the a hole?

561
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:17,719
Speaker 2: Just pain? I just am in?

562
00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:21,720
Speaker 4: I mean, what story are the friends getting that they

563
00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:22,679
Speaker 4: think this is okay?

564
00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:25,480
Speaker 2: Leave the boyfriend and the friends all of them? Leave,

565
00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:26,120
Speaker 2: all of them?

566
00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:28,480
Speaker 4: Do they don't know what they're saying?

567
00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:28,840
Speaker 2: Oh?

568
00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:31,719
Speaker 4: John, there is an updates? Uh?

569
00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:33,159
Speaker 2: Oh wow.

570
00:28:33,359 --> 00:28:34,879
Speaker 4: I didn't think I was going to get so much

571
00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:37,480
Speaker 4: of a response. Thank you, guys for shattering my rose

572
00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:39,920
Speaker 4: tinted glasses. Take those glasses off.

573
00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:40,360
Speaker 2: That's right.

574
00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:42,120
Speaker 4: I had a talk with one of my friends who

575
00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:44,160
Speaker 4: said they had no idea he was taking more than

576
00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:46,680
Speaker 4: ten dollars products, which explains why they all thought I

577
00:28:46,720 --> 00:28:49,920
Speaker 4: was being harsh. Unfortunately, unfortunately, we share a friend group,

578
00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:53,880
Speaker 4: so breaking up was looking really hard until I sat

579
00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:56,360
Speaker 4: him down for a talk to try to convey why

580
00:28:56,440 --> 00:28:59,800
Speaker 4: don't trust him anymore and how important my skincare is.

581
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:02,240
Speaker 4: The conversation went on for some time, and I actually

582
00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:04,600
Speaker 4: thought he may be turning a new leaf until he

583
00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:06,800
Speaker 4: told me that in our first year of being together

584
00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:09,080
Speaker 4: as a couple, when I had a few flare ups

585
00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:11,680
Speaker 4: before finding some good products that worked for me, he

586
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:15,280
Speaker 4: had been taking my oral steroids that I was prescribed with,

587
00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:20,120
Speaker 4: thinking that it would make him buff at the gym. No,

588
00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:23,480
Speaker 4: why are you just taking someone else's prescription, dude, pain

589
00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:28,840
Speaker 4: I feel is incomprehendible. The whole year I battled through

590
00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:32,160
Speaker 4: with insecurities and unbearable pain because I wasn't able to

591
00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:35,120
Speaker 4: overcome my flare ups. Honestly, that was the thing that

592
00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:37,720
Speaker 4: snapped me completely. I'm staying at my friend's house for

593
00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:40,000
Speaker 4: a week and letting him pack his things and figure

594
00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:42,560
Speaker 4: out a place to go. Thanks again to everyone who

595
00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:44,600
Speaker 4: was so kind and helped me realize how stupid I

596
00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:44,960
Speaker 4: was being.

597
00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:46,960
Speaker 2: That's what we'd like to.

598
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:50,440
Speaker 4: See snapsobe get out of that freaking situation. Jesus run.

599
00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:51,920
Speaker 4: What a terrible dude.

600
00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:54,480
Speaker 1: And just like, I know we've read a million of

601
00:29:54,480 --> 00:29:56,400
Speaker 1: these stories, but just shocks me that these people exist.

602
00:29:56,440 --> 00:29:59,800
Speaker 1: It's like, how dumb can you be? And terrible?

603
00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:02,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, But I mean like like it's also I imagine

604
00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:05,800
Speaker 4: it's hard to for op where it's like you've lived

605
00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:08,840
Speaker 4: with this person, you're already in so deep, and then

606
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:12,080
Speaker 4: you're like, you're she's probably making so many excuses on

607
00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:12,840
Speaker 4: his behalf.

608
00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:16,080
Speaker 1: Of course, right, But like you always say that, it's like,

609
00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:18,560
Speaker 1: how did you not see the red flag before two

610
00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:19,960
Speaker 1: years of a relationship.

611
00:30:20,040 --> 00:30:23,200
Speaker 4: I think, like I think red flags kind of creep in, dude.

612
00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:25,160
Speaker 4: I think I think for some people it can like

613
00:30:25,440 --> 00:30:27,680
Speaker 4: it can start off small and it can just keep

614
00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:30,880
Speaker 4: going like, ah shit, I didn't even realize. I was like,

615
00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:33,440
Speaker 4: it's like like I think in some relationships, you start

616
00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:36,760
Speaker 4: making in every relationship, you're writing compromises, right, yeah, of course, right,

617
00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:39,880
Speaker 4: And you start making little and little compromises, and at

618
00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:43,280
Speaker 4: a certain point you like it takes us, It takes

619
00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:46,520
Speaker 4: like a certain amount of like stepping back, yeah, to

620
00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:51,640
Speaker 4: realize how much you've compromised. And sometimes you're when you

621
00:30:51,640 --> 00:30:55,480
Speaker 4: have perspective, you're like, oh shit, like this is not okay.

622
00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:58,880
Speaker 4: This is way more than I had I ever should

623
00:30:58,880 --> 00:30:59,600
Speaker 4: have compromised.

624
00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:02,000
Speaker 1: It's like you don't see yourself like growing or your

625
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,760
Speaker 1: hair growing or something. Yeah, but then like in three

626
00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:07,400
Speaker 1: months it changes drastically or two years or whatever. So

627
00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:09,600
Speaker 1: it's like this is like I can't see it growing

628
00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:10,080
Speaker 1: every day.

629
00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:12,640
Speaker 4: But it's just like, yeah, yeah, I think about some

630
00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:14,440
Speaker 4: red flags, man, some red flags.

631
00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:16,640
Speaker 2: They grow well, op, uh beat them up?

632
00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:18,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're in a better place than than spacing