1
00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:03,320
Speaker 1: My wife is falling in love with her female best friend.

2
00:00:03,520 --> 00:00:04,520
Speaker 2: Should I stay with her?

3
00:00:04,680 --> 00:00:08,440
Speaker 1: This is okay, Op, where we read the craziest stories

4
00:00:08,600 --> 00:00:12,520
Speaker 1: on Earth. I'm Sam and John. Should Ope stay or

5
00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:14,480
Speaker 1: should Ope go away?

6
00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:15,120
Speaker 2: You know?

7
00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:17,720
Speaker 3: I mean the important thing here is uh, fall in

8
00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:18,640
Speaker 3: love with the best friend?

9
00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:22,440
Speaker 2: Well, what about fall in love with me? Yeah? If

10
00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:25,840
Speaker 2: you're in a relationship, right, I guess that's the question.

11
00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:29,720
Speaker 1: But potentially maybe they start a third you know that

12
00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:31,639
Speaker 1: maybe they're in a little polly relationship.

13
00:00:31,680 --> 00:00:35,400
Speaker 3: You have totally seen that happen, and maybe the partner

14
00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:36,320
Speaker 3: is like, heck.

15
00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:37,599
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I'm into it.

16
00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:39,760
Speaker 3: We don't know, but you know what we have to

17
00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:42,280
Speaker 3: we make blind assumptions on these I'm going to assume

18
00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:44,960
Speaker 3: that Op is falling in love with someone who is

19
00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:47,760
Speaker 3: not the person they intended to be in a relationship with.

20
00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:50,560
Speaker 3: I think they should go blind, Guests.

21
00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:54,760
Speaker 1: You think Ope should leave the relationship because his wife

22
00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:56,040
Speaker 1: is in love with another person?

23
00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:59,120
Speaker 2: That's what I'm thinking. Reasonable. Reasonable, But there's only one

24
00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:01,840
Speaker 2: way to find out out. Spill that tea.

25
00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:06,720
Speaker 1: This comes from throw All may cay So and they say,

26
00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:11,200
Speaker 1: I thirty male think my wife twenty nine female is

27
00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:14,080
Speaker 1: in love with her best friend, her female best friend.

28
00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:17,520
Speaker 1: That's not fun. I've been married with my wife for

29
00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:20,160
Speaker 1: seven years, and we met eight years ago in a

30
00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:22,959
Speaker 1: church meeting and we became friends. My wife is quiet,

31
00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:26,640
Speaker 1: kind and a beautiful woman, any man's dream. Therefore, it

32
00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:29,399
Speaker 1: was obvious that I fell for her instantly, although she

33
00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:32,199
Speaker 1: always behaved with what I thought was shyness, not wanting

34
00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:35,480
Speaker 1: to cuddle with me or only kissing me on rare occasions.

35
00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:38,679
Speaker 1: We were both raised in Christian families and a part

36
00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:42,000
Speaker 1: of the country that is really religious. But unlike me,

37
00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:45,600
Speaker 1: her parents were always the type who follow the Holy

38
00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:49,000
Speaker 1: Doctrine really seriously, so she has a traditional way of

39
00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:52,000
Speaker 1: thinking about religion and how women should behave So I

40
00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:55,080
Speaker 1: always thought that it was because of that her behavior

41
00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:59,000
Speaker 1: was like that, I'm already uh oh, getting some red

42
00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:02,400
Speaker 1: flags necessarily that like red flags of her being a

43
00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:07,120
Speaker 1: bad person. Yeah, yeah, red flags of some suppressed sexuality. Yes, well,

44
00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:10,560
Speaker 1: let's keep going. Sometimes I think she looks like a robot.

45
00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:14,520
Speaker 2: No, oh, dear, I love you, but I love my

46
00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:15,200
Speaker 2: friend more.

47
00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:22,600
Speaker 1: Oops, miscalculation love butot not computing self distract in ten.

48
00:02:22,840 --> 00:02:24,400
Speaker 2: Sometimes I think she looks like a robot.

49
00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:26,960
Speaker 1: She's nice and kind with everyone, but a couple of

50
00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:30,760
Speaker 1: times I saw her staying all quiet, staring into space, like.

51
00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:32,400
Speaker 2: If she was dead. Oh man.

52
00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:35,200
Speaker 1: Over the years, I began to take it as something

53
00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:38,520
Speaker 1: normal in her personality because she always refused to go

54
00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:41,119
Speaker 1: to the psychologist and always said that she's.

55
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:42,240
Speaker 2: Just like that dead.

56
00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:47,600
Speaker 1: Say I'm sorry, I'm just staring blankly into the sky,

57
00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:51,239
Speaker 1: not looking at you or anything, and a glaze falls

58
00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:51,919
Speaker 1: over the eye.

59
00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:53,639
Speaker 2: You know, I'm just like one of those people that

60
00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:54,680
Speaker 2: acts like they're dead.

61
00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:56,919
Speaker 3: My soul is spilled out of my heart. But it's cool,

62
00:02:57,040 --> 00:02:58,960
Speaker 3: it's cool. I'm just one of those people, one of

63
00:02:58,960 --> 00:02:59,960
Speaker 3: those soulless people.

64
00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:01,560
Speaker 2: I know.

65
00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:05,400
Speaker 1: Until two months ago when she found out that the

66
00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:08,360
Speaker 1: woman who was her best friend in high school was

67
00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:12,079
Speaker 1: coming back to town. Oh, I have never seen her

68
00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:15,239
Speaker 1: so happy and alive. I felt happy for her, thinking

69
00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:19,400
Speaker 1: that what she needed was a female friend. Right, So

70
00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:22,120
Speaker 1: she needed just a friend, just someone to get close to.

71
00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:24,360
Speaker 2: But he says, she's just a friend.

72
00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:28,320
Speaker 3: Oh, maybe you're knowing I need.

73
00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:31,600
Speaker 2: But you say she's just a friend. But maybe she's more.

74
00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:32,920
Speaker 2: She's probably more. Yeah.

75
00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:35,120
Speaker 1: Well, wife never used to leave the house, but since

76
00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:37,360
Speaker 1: that woman is staying in the town. She has been

77
00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:40,520
Speaker 1: going out as much as possible. She became a different person,

78
00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:43,200
Speaker 1: but not in a bad way. She looks full of life,

79
00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:45,360
Speaker 1: and to be honest, I never saw her smile as

80
00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:47,480
Speaker 1: much as when she tells me that she will go

81
00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:49,880
Speaker 1: out with her friend for coffee. For the record, I'm

82
00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:52,480
Speaker 1: not sure she's sleeping with her because she doesn't know

83
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:55,120
Speaker 1: how to lie, and her behavior with me never changed,

84
00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:57,360
Speaker 1: so I think that's probably true. I think it's like

85
00:03:57,680 --> 00:04:00,720
Speaker 1: the Opie's wife is probably just like over with all

86
00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:01,360
Speaker 1: these emotions.

87
00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:04,920
Speaker 2: Might even she didn't even know one hundred percent.

88
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:08,920
Speaker 3: She might be completely unaware, but subconsciously, yeah, it's happening,

89
00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:12,240
Speaker 3: And there is a potential that, like she is straight

90
00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:15,760
Speaker 3: and not not looking for a relationship with this woman

91
00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:17,159
Speaker 3: and is just happy to have a female friend.

92
00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:19,240
Speaker 2: It could just be that we don't know yet.

93
00:04:19,279 --> 00:04:21,800
Speaker 1: We don't know that we're kind of getting some suff

94
00:04:21,839 --> 00:04:24,560
Speaker 1: stacked against us with like the super religiousness of it all.

95
00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:27,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's die back in. I'm not going to deny it.

96
00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:30,000
Speaker 1: Days ago, I started to feel jealous of that woman,

97
00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:32,760
Speaker 1: that she is the reason my wife smiles so much

98
00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:35,599
Speaker 1: and is on the phone all day out of pure curiosity.

99
00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:38,600
Speaker 1: Three days ago, I entered her Facebook and some albums

100
00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:40,760
Speaker 1: were public. She had a lot of albums, and I

101
00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:43,599
Speaker 1: found pictures of her in my wife during high school.

102
00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:45,960
Speaker 1: That woman was hugging my wife as if they were

103
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:48,200
Speaker 1: a couple, and some of the photos they were holding

104
00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:50,760
Speaker 1: hands or looking at each other with bright smiles, which

105
00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:52,720
Speaker 1: is something she never does.

106
00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:54,280
Speaker 2: With Oh just does the script.

107
00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:58,479
Speaker 1: That's the heartbreakings thing where it's like you see someone

108
00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:02,760
Speaker 1: so happy if they're not with you, you know, it's

109
00:05:02,839 --> 00:05:05,440
Speaker 1: like it's like, oh, yeah, she's just dead inside. That's

110
00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:07,760
Speaker 1: just her personality. And then you realize, no, it was

111
00:05:07,839 --> 00:05:10,360
Speaker 1: you the whole time. Oh god, it's not it's not

112
00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:11,520
Speaker 1: it's not his fault.

113
00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:14,400
Speaker 3: No no, no, no. I don't think he's done anything

114
00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:15,160
Speaker 3: wrong so far.

115
00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:17,440
Speaker 1: And it's also not even like he's shaming her for

116
00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:18,839
Speaker 1: it potentially being gay.

117
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:21,839
Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, it seems like he's just like observing,

118
00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:25,400
Speaker 3: like like kind of third party. Her family hates gay people,

119
00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:27,440
Speaker 3: although my wife never talked ill about them, but just

120
00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:30,719
Speaker 3: avoid talking about the topic, which now makes sense to me.

121
00:05:30,839 --> 00:05:33,280
Speaker 3: I don't know whether to confront her, because maybe I'm

122
00:05:33,279 --> 00:05:35,960
Speaker 3: just thinking too much or maybe she's in love with

123
00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:39,279
Speaker 3: her ex girlfriend. The only thing I'm sure of is

124
00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:42,599
Speaker 3: she only looks happy talking about that woman. So I

125
00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:45,880
Speaker 3: don't know what to do. And there are some relevant comments,

126
00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:48,120
Speaker 3: but John, before we dive into the relevant comments, I

127
00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:50,440
Speaker 3: think we need a little breakdown. Yeah we do, what

128
00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:52,919
Speaker 3: do you think oh P should do? Like, like, what

129
00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:57,440
Speaker 3: are the options? I mean, this is so challenging because,

130
00:05:57,480 --> 00:06:00,360
Speaker 3: like we said, number one, the wife not I not

131
00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:03,120
Speaker 3: even realize what's happening. It could be a friend that

132
00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:05,760
Speaker 3: she like actually is in love with but isn't acknowledging

133
00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:07,040
Speaker 3: her feelings because of her.

134
00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:09,480
Speaker 1: Yeah past, And also like just because she smiles about

135
00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:11,240
Speaker 1: like I smile about my dude friends all the time,

136
00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:13,000
Speaker 1: doesn't like I'm trying to hook up with them, Like,

137
00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:15,520
Speaker 1: but but maybe sometimes you smile, really.

138
00:06:15,279 --> 00:06:19,120
Speaker 2: Sometimes I smile like that, I'm fucking cheesing, That's right,

139
00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:20,240
Speaker 2: so chubbed up?

140
00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:26,160
Speaker 3: I think, I mean, as crazy and hard and all

141
00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:28,320
Speaker 3: over the place as it is, I think he had

142
00:06:28,440 --> 00:06:31,800
Speaker 3: needs to have a conversation, not specifically about that, but

143
00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:35,320
Speaker 3: just start kind of easing into it, perhaps.

144
00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:41,360
Speaker 1: Like but what how do you ease in friends?

145
00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:41,719
Speaker 2: Friend?

146
00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:46,960
Speaker 3: Maybe maybe the first step is just like talking about her,

147
00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:47,720
Speaker 3: like I.

148
00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:49,440
Speaker 1: Think maybe just saying like, hey, I would love to

149
00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:51,080
Speaker 1: hear about you know, your guys's history.

150
00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:53,200
Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying, is like hey, like I'm I'm

151
00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:55,520
Speaker 3: I'm so glad that she's come because it seems like,

152
00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:57,599
Speaker 3: I mean, she's brought you so much happiness, Like actually,

153
00:06:57,600 --> 00:06:58,520
Speaker 3: how did you to meet?

154
00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:01,240
Speaker 2: Like I'm I'm curious, like what And you could even.

155
00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:04,279
Speaker 1: Say like, hey, I've noticed that you've been really happy

156
00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:06,640
Speaker 1: lately something I haven't seen, like how do you how

157
00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:08,640
Speaker 1: do you feel that she's back, Like how how do

158
00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:11,400
Speaker 1: you feel about our relationship? Or even like what if

159
00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:14,000
Speaker 1: it's also like I noticed you're really happy lately. I

160
00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:16,520
Speaker 1: want to keep giving you that feeling, or like I

161
00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:18,800
Speaker 1: want you to keep having that feeling. I just wanted

162
00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:20,920
Speaker 1: to see like how can I how can I help help?

163
00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, and maybe that starts that's not even and if

164
00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:26,080
Speaker 3: she brings up the friend, then it's like okay, that

165
00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:27,760
Speaker 3: because right now he's still inferring.

166
00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:28,160
Speaker 2: Yeah.

167
00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:30,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think there's a lot of and there's I

168
00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:34,520
Speaker 1: don't think just being happy to see someone is necessarily

169
00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:37,320
Speaker 1: someone cheating or even emotionally cheating. I don't think we

170
00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:39,600
Speaker 1: even have that yet, But let's dive into some relevant

171
00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:42,000
Speaker 1: comments and see what the people have to say.

172
00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:45,200
Speaker 2: Ah, so Yeta gain It.

173
00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:49,160
Speaker 1: Tree says, Yes, she does love her friend because she's

174
00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,280
Speaker 1: her friend. All I saw in your post was one

175
00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:53,520
Speaker 1: being excited that a close friend she hasn't seen in

176
00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:56,080
Speaker 1: years is coming back, and there was a picture of

177
00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:58,560
Speaker 1: them hugging. I'm assuming all this paranoia is from your

178
00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:02,040
Speaker 1: religious upbringing, because all I'm seeing is two women that

179
00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:05,520
Speaker 1: are friends. If you should be asking anything is why

180
00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:08,480
Speaker 1: you didn't see the clear loneliness your wife was feeling

181
00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:10,680
Speaker 1: before this friend came back into her life, which is

182
00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:12,280
Speaker 1: a good point, Like, it is a great point. No,

183
00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:15,720
Speaker 1: one's just like a dead inside and that's a I

184
00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:17,800
Speaker 1: just always thought to was dead in sideline. I feel

185
00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:21,640
Speaker 1: like that's disregarding how your your wife's emotional and social

186
00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:22,520
Speaker 1: needs totally.

187
00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:24,680
Speaker 3: And I can't remember exactly, but I feel like he

188
00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:28,280
Speaker 3: had some sort of conversation with her about it, or

189
00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:29,760
Speaker 3: like touched on it a bit.

190
00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:33,480
Speaker 1: It doesn't not in terms of like their past relationship

191
00:08:33,559 --> 00:08:34,040
Speaker 1: or any Yeah.

192
00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:37,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, and clearly if he did nowhere near enough, nowhere

193
00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:40,440
Speaker 3: near enough always said she wouldn't talk to a psychologist

194
00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:42,000
Speaker 3: that I think was, but that was kind of like

195
00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:44,040
Speaker 3: a it's a brief, like it's a skin or psitive.

196
00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:48,400
Speaker 2: OP responds. I referred to the way they held.

197
00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:50,800
Speaker 1: Hands, especially because my wife and I never held hands

198
00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:52,800
Speaker 1: when we started dating. Every time I tried to hold

199
00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:55,079
Speaker 1: her or try to hug her or hold hands with her,

200
00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:57,839
Speaker 1: she said no because she doesn't like romantic things. I

201
00:08:57,880 --> 00:09:00,720
Speaker 1: always respected her boundaries about that, so I did get

202
00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:03,240
Speaker 1: confused when I saw her in pictures like that with

203
00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:04,800
Speaker 1: another person, which I think.

204
00:09:04,679 --> 00:09:07,520
Speaker 3: Is yeah, yeah, and you know, yeah, we're getting it

205
00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:11,280
Speaker 3: from Op's POV. But like OP also has like the

206
00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:13,160
Speaker 3: most knowledge on the situation, So.

207
00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:16,440
Speaker 1: I think some people are not PDA people. Yeah, for

208
00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:19,160
Speaker 1: sure that that exists. But I could also see where

209
00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:21,160
Speaker 1: it's like, wait, but you were a PDA with everyone

210
00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:23,720
Speaker 1: before me, totally your friends, and you won't even hold

211
00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:26,360
Speaker 1: my hand, Like I could see there being maybe another explanation,

212
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:29,120
Speaker 1: but I could I could see myself being insecure and

213
00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:30,319
Speaker 1: like feel weird about that for.

214
00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:31,800
Speaker 3: Sure, And I feel like it's one of those things

215
00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:33,840
Speaker 3: it's hard to really explain in a story, but you

216
00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:35,760
Speaker 3: kind of like know what when you see it. Yeah,

217
00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:37,280
Speaker 3: kind of thing, which is I know that we're kind

218
00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:39,560
Speaker 3: of blind on the story in this aspect.

219
00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:41,080
Speaker 1: And I know, he continues, we do have a healthy

220
00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:44,280
Speaker 1: relationship in feelings terms. When I know she's off, we talk,

221
00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:47,000
Speaker 1: although she never wanted to see the psychologist, but she

222
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:49,120
Speaker 1: likes to talk about why she feels weird that day,

223
00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:51,800
Speaker 1: but always ends up saying that that's just her personality.

224
00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:55,000
Speaker 1: We've been always okay, So she's saying that's her just

225
00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:57,679
Speaker 1: her personality, the dead inside right. Yes, we've always been

226
00:09:57,720 --> 00:10:00,000
Speaker 1: close friends since we met. But it surprised me when

227
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,920
Speaker 1: and I saw that she actually likes being hugged by someone.

228
00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:04,080
Speaker 2: That someone is an.

229
00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:07,199
Speaker 1: OP then, particular you six' nine one three, SAYS i

230
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:09,600
Speaker 1: think that's pretty. Odd surely at some point your paths would,

231
00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:12,480
Speaker 1: cross even if you weren't, wondering does your wife give

232
00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:15,240
Speaker 1: an explanation as to why the friend wouldn't care TO

233
00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:17,960
Speaker 1: i don't know many people who wouldn't want to meet

234
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,760
Speaker 1: their best friends significant. Other, OH i guess this is

235
00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:23,839
Speaker 1: in relation to the female friend female friend IN op

236
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:26,439
Speaker 1: not Meeting, yeah, right right, RIGHT opi says.

237
00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:27,800
Speaker 2: Same that's WHY i feel it's.

238
00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:30,240
Speaker 1: Odd my wife just says that her friend isn't interested

239
00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:33,200
Speaker 1: in meeting me and closes the. CONVERSATION i think that's

240
00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:33,920
Speaker 1: that's fucking.

241
00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:38,880
Speaker 3: Weird that's probably the red flag that we've seen thus.

242
00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:39,760
Speaker 2: Far probably red.

243
00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:42,640
Speaker 1: Flag, YEAH i think that's a huge red. Flag, YEAH

244
00:10:42,679 --> 00:10:46,040
Speaker 1: i think it's a huge red. Flag if you if

245
00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:49,760
Speaker 1: your partner is uncomfortable with meeting your friends or vice,

246
00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:52,280
Speaker 1: versa your friends are uncomfortable meeting your, Partner.

247
00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:53,160
Speaker 2: Well this one is also like.

248
00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:55,160
Speaker 3: Targeted it's not, like, OH i don't want to hang

249
00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:57,559
Speaker 3: out with your friend group or your, FRIENDS i don't

250
00:10:57,600 --> 00:10:59,439
Speaker 3: want to hang out with your significant.

251
00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:01,920
Speaker 1: Other THAT'S i, mean that's like that is the. Person,

252
00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:05,080
Speaker 1: yeah that's that's. Big that's, big especially if there's like

253
00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:07,720
Speaker 1: no reason behind. It, yeah it's just like that that person.

254
00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:11,120
Speaker 1: Exists it's not, like, oh he insulted her or something or.

255
00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:13,480
Speaker 1: Whatever it's it's just the fact that it feels like

256
00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:16,160
Speaker 1: it's just the fact, that, OH p is the wife's significant.

257
00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:16,319
Speaker 2: Other.

258
00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:18,600
Speaker 1: RIGHT i feel that IF i insist on asking the,

259
00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:20,880
Speaker 1: reason we would end up, arguing AND i always prefer

260
00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:22,880
Speaker 1: to avoid. That you, KNOW i might think this is,

261
00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:25,439
Speaker 1: sir some. COMFIEN i know her friend left the town

262
00:11:25,520 --> 00:11:27,920
Speaker 1: to live in The capitol and sometimes people become a

263
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,120
Speaker 1: leitist after living, there but that would have make sense

264
00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:32,120
Speaker 1: SINCE i lived half my life in The, capitol and

265
00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:35,040
Speaker 1: while my family is, RELIGIOUS i was never the strict religious.

266
00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:38,000
Speaker 1: Type SO i don't get why her friend doesn't want

267
00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:38,360
Speaker 1: to meet.

268
00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:38,960
Speaker 2: Me it is.

269
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:42,640
Speaker 1: Strange it is. Strange so we have another. Update oh

270
00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:47,560
Speaker 1: some pipe and hot tea's some. Trulsiness so this Is november,

271
00:11:47,679 --> 00:11:50,200
Speaker 1: ninth twenty twenty. Three thank you for the, advice and

272
00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:52,520
Speaker 1: ALTHOUGH i got a few, replies everyone was very.

273
00:11:52,559 --> 00:11:53,760
Speaker 2: Friendly Thanks. Redda there we.

274
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:56,680
Speaker 1: GO i decided to confront my wife and ask about

275
00:11:56,679 --> 00:11:58,319
Speaker 1: the photos with her friend during high.

276
00:11:58,360 --> 00:11:59,720
Speaker 2: School here we, go everyone.

277
00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:02,120
Speaker 1: Is the post said that they are most likely just

278
00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:04,800
Speaker 1: friends and made my mind feel more in, peace thinking

279
00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:07,160
Speaker 1: THAT i was. Overthinking but WHEN i showed her the,

280
00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:10,120
Speaker 1: photos she began to breathe fast in WHAT i think

281
00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:10,840
Speaker 1: was a panic.

282
00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:13,760
Speaker 2: Attoence oh, DEAR i you know.

283
00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:17,559
Speaker 1: WHAT i don't really need, it but, ah, oh are

284
00:12:17,559 --> 00:12:18,479
Speaker 1: you in a conspiracy?

285
00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:23,880
Speaker 3: THEORY i might have to conspiracy. Theory, SADLY i don't

286
00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:26,480
Speaker 3: know if this one is is a moonshot seems like

287
00:12:26,559 --> 00:12:30,040
Speaker 3: she's in love with the, friend or that and hold, On,

288
00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:31,000
Speaker 3: sam that's to join.

289
00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:34,400
Speaker 1: Us my conspiracy is that they actually did, date and

290
00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:37,280
Speaker 1: the reason they stopped dating is because of religious. Reasons

291
00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:38,120
Speaker 1: that's my conspiracy.

292
00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:40,280
Speaker 3: Theory, Yeah like what if the wife was keeping it a,

293
00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:42,520
Speaker 3: secret and then the female best friend is, like, LISTEN

294
00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:45,120
Speaker 3: i do not want to stay in this relationship if

295
00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:46,559
Speaker 3: you don't want to make it.

296
00:12:46,559 --> 00:12:48,880
Speaker 2: Public and she, SAID i couldn't do. THAT i couldn't

297
00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:49,240
Speaker 2: do that with my.

298
00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:52,880
Speaker 3: Family but now there's some some sort of reason that

299
00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:58,520
Speaker 3: things are rekindling. Something maybe she's planning on leaving, ope

300
00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:01,880
Speaker 3: and the email best friend is, saying, like, listen the

301
00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:03,960
Speaker 3: first time we had a, relationship you wouldn't you wouldn't come.

302
00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:06,040
Speaker 3: Out but maybe now the wife is, saying, hey, listen, listen,

303
00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:08,880
Speaker 3: LISTEN i promise let's get, together let's, rekindle let's build

304
00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:11,400
Speaker 3: our friendship back. Again AND i promise YOU i will

305
00:13:11,559 --> 00:13:14,440
Speaker 3: work up to exiting the, relationship which is why she's

306
00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:15,280
Speaker 3: having a pan attack right.

307
00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:18,800
Speaker 1: Now my conspiracy, theory, yes is that but the, opposite,

308
00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:22,640
Speaker 1: oh that the friend is comfortable with a secret relationship.

309
00:13:22,679 --> 00:13:28,000
Speaker 3: Now, oh but my only take on that is why

310
00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:30,240
Speaker 3: would they have ended it in the first? Place because

311
00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:33,000
Speaker 3: initially the friend wasn't okay with, it but now that

312
00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:35,200
Speaker 3: the bond is just so, close, like, Hey i'm fine

313
00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:38,120
Speaker 3: being side ho maybe maybe really mainhe in your heart

314
00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:41,240
Speaker 3: side hoe main hoe in your heart Side hoe to the,

315
00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:43,200
Speaker 3: people if you be the FORTY. A IF i haven't

316
00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:45,400
Speaker 3: met someone by, forty, yeah you've heard that pact that

317
00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:45,880
Speaker 3: people will.

318
00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:48,280
Speaker 1: Do, yeah IF i haven't fallen in love with my

319
00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:50,600
Speaker 1: husband by, FORTY i will date.

320
00:13:50,640 --> 00:13:53,320
Speaker 3: YOU i have a friend that that made a pact

321
00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:54,560
Speaker 3: with a guy really like.

322
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:56,120
Speaker 2: That, yes, yes with Forty.

323
00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:58,280
Speaker 3: Yeah she was, like this guy is LIKE i know

324
00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:00,920
Speaker 3: he would be an amazing, husband an amazing fighting and

325
00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:02,599
Speaker 3: IF i don't find a man by, forty we're just

326
00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:04,600
Speaker 3: gonna do it. NOW i think she was, joking but

327
00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:05,680
Speaker 3: like half joking.

328
00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:09,920
Speaker 1: Joking so do you guys have any of those ultimatums

329
00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:10,360
Speaker 1: with any of your?

330
00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:12,600
Speaker 2: Friends put your examples in the. Commons i'd love to hear.

331
00:14:12,559 --> 00:14:14,079
Speaker 3: It, Litten, no BUT i THINK i want to get

332
00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:16,880
Speaker 3: out of conspiracy land to get back to the REAL.

333
00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:19,200
Speaker 1: I helped her calm, down but then she got upset

334
00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:21,800
Speaker 1: BECAUSE i sneak in her Friend's. FACEBOOK i knew she

335
00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:23,800
Speaker 1: was trying to change the subject because she loved to do.

336
00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:26,160
Speaker 1: That SO i got serious and told her to. Talk

337
00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:28,760
Speaker 1: after a few long minutes full of her trying to

338
00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:30,440
Speaker 1: change the, topic she ended up telling me.

339
00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:36,840
Speaker 3: Everything oh, Boy, indeed she and her friend used to

340
00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:39,600
Speaker 3: be a couple during high school and they were friends since.

341
00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:43,560
Speaker 3: Kindergarten oh, wow friends is kindergarten like me And?

342
00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:45,240
Speaker 2: Christian? Deep oh that's?

343
00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:48,560
Speaker 3: True did we change the genders for this? Story is this?

344
00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:49,840
Speaker 3: A is this really?

345
00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:54,320
Speaker 1: Secret they kept the relationship as a, secret pretending to

346
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:57,880
Speaker 1: be only best, friends until my wife's parents found out

347
00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:00,680
Speaker 1: and beat her, up separating. Them her friend moved to

348
00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:02,640
Speaker 1: The capitol that year and they never saw each other.

349
00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:05,880
Speaker 1: Again but for what my wife said and, showed they

350
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,640
Speaker 1: never stopped loving each.

351
00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:11,440
Speaker 2: Other, wow oh my.

352
00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:13,240
Speaker 1: Goodness and the thing is LIKE i don't know IF

353
00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:15,560
Speaker 1: i can be like mad at the. Wife it's just

354
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:19,080
Speaker 1: because it's like it's the circumstances of the culture that

355
00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:22,720
Speaker 1: they're raised, in and it's like it's it's like she

356
00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:23,800
Speaker 1: definitely didn't do the right.

357
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:25,760
Speaker 2: Thing but, man like.

358
00:15:25,760 --> 00:15:27,920
Speaker 3: That it's so, Hard and also LIKE i think there's

359
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:30,120
Speaker 3: really something to be said with, like you, know growing

360
00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:32,760
Speaker 3: up whole probably all of her family's hate makes has

361
00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:36,680
Speaker 3: so much, insecurities self negative talk like like that in

362
00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:39,720
Speaker 3: times a, Thousand so like there's just so much for

363
00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:42,480
Speaker 3: her to have to break. Through, yeah because it's not

364
00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:46,440
Speaker 3: only maybe some like cultural context that's a little bit less,

365
00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:51,720
Speaker 3: accepting but the familial context is super. Unaccepting and the

366
00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:55,280
Speaker 3: fact that she was beat for, that like, THAT i, FEEL.

367
00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:58,480
Speaker 2: I FEEL i cannot she didn't do the right.

368
00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:03,120
Speaker 1: Thing, oh BUT i understand why she. Wouldn't so in

369
00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:06,040
Speaker 1: some point of the, CONVERSATION i stopped calling her best

370
00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:09,440
Speaker 1: friend by, name and without, realizing she started calling Her

371
00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:14,680
Speaker 1: mia More, oh which hurt me because in all years

372
00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:17,720
Speaker 1: we've been, married she never called me. THAT i asked

373
00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:19,360
Speaker 1: her if she was cheating on me with her friend

374
00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:21,840
Speaker 1: and said that they never kissed her. Anything But i'm

375
00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:24,960
Speaker 1: sure she's, EMOTIONAL i, mean, yeah But i'm sure she's

376
00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:26,320
Speaker 1: emotionally cheating on.

377
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:32,880
Speaker 2: ME i, mean if she's calling someone, else, DUDE i

378
00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:35,720
Speaker 2: can't imagine her saying that and then her saying mea.

379
00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:40,360
Speaker 3: Moore And i'll Give opie, credit he has been pretty level, headed.

380
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,960
Speaker 2: And evening was in this even in this level, headed

381
00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:45,160
Speaker 2: even Pretty but we'll see we'll say he kind of

382
00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:45,960
Speaker 2: like also just.

383
00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:50,120
Speaker 1: Understands the other, thing, though is, like how could you

384
00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:52,680
Speaker 1: be in a, Relationship like it feels like he ignored

385
00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:56,320
Speaker 1: all the signs of her massive unhappy like. Unhappiness, yeah you,

386
00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:58,960
Speaker 1: know like as we've as we've said many times in the,

387
00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:01,840
Speaker 1: podcast there had to be red flags before and the

388
00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:04,879
Speaker 1: red flags are you thinking your wife's personality is?

389
00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:08,600
Speaker 2: Dead in his, defense you, know she was the one

390
00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:10,639
Speaker 2: that said that's the. Personality that's, true that is.

391
00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:12,680
Speaker 3: TRUE i think it really depends on LIKE i think

392
00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:14,840
Speaker 3: there's a certain point where it's like they're just like, no, no,

393
00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:16,439
Speaker 3: No i'm, Good i'm, Good i'm, good and you're kind of,

394
00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:17,240
Speaker 3: like what else CAN i?

395
00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:17,679
Speaker 2: Do at this?

396
00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:21,040
Speaker 3: Point it's, true we don't know where it's definitely.

397
00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:24,359
Speaker 1: Not, ope he's. Fault, YEAH i like now hear. You

398
00:17:24,480 --> 00:17:27,760
Speaker 1: like looking, back the red flags are. Obvious she doesn't

399
00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:30,280
Speaker 1: know the concept of emotionally, cheating so she really believes

400
00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:31,119
Speaker 1: she's not doing anything.

401
00:17:31,119 --> 00:17:34,480
Speaker 3: Wrong she doesn't know the. Concept, OH i mean there's

402
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:37,399
Speaker 3: people who don't know, no especially the phrase emotional.

403
00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:37,800
Speaker 2: Cheating.

404
00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:39,760
Speaker 1: Yeah the reason why her friend never wanted to meet

405
00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:41,439
Speaker 1: me or even go to our wedding is because she

406
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:44,199
Speaker 1: hates to see her love married with a man she

407
00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:47,399
Speaker 1: doesn't even. Like in living a, LIE i asked my

408
00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:50,520
Speaker 1: wife if she loves me and said, yes but like

409
00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:54,960
Speaker 1: a best. Friend, yes my own wife just friend zone.

410
00:17:55,000 --> 00:18:00,640
Speaker 1: Me oh, Tragic god dang. Tragic she cried a, lot

411
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:03,479
Speaker 1: saying that she's really sorry for lying to. Me when we,

412
00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:06,119
Speaker 1: meet we really clicked as, friends and she told me

413
00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:08,880
Speaker 1: that her parents insisted her to marry me.

414
00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:09,760
Speaker 2: So she could.

415
00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:12,439
Speaker 1: Heal that explained why she never liked to, hug, cuddle

416
00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:15,280
Speaker 1: or do anything romantic with. Me it wasn't because she was,

417
00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:17,280
Speaker 1: shy but it was because she didn't like.

418
00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:20,080
Speaker 3: Me and, again it's it's so tough because it's like

419
00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:23,520
Speaker 3: op is the one that gets hurt in this. Scenario

420
00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:28,800
Speaker 3: each fucking sentence is just a stab in the. Heart i'm,

421
00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:31,800
Speaker 3: Like i'm getting the, blood.

422
00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:34,600
Speaker 2: The vitals are almost. GONE i feel like she's.

423
00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:38,280
Speaker 3: Justin all my main arteries are just spilling.

424
00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:40,800
Speaker 1: Out she's just eating the. Heart, Dude she's eating and

425
00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:41,439
Speaker 1: destroying his.

426
00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:43,480
Speaker 2: Heart. OH i wanted to lose my.

427
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:46,040
Speaker 1: TEMPER i wanted to yell at, HER i wanted to

428
00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:48,240
Speaker 1: cry and even run away BECAUSE i was patient and

429
00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:50,800
Speaker 1: empathetic with all the. Time she rejected my affection AND

430
00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:53,200
Speaker 1: i felt. Alone i've been thinking for years that Maybe

431
00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:55,240
Speaker 1: i'm a bad husband AND i was treating her badly

432
00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:58,679
Speaker 1: without realizing, it feeling insecure about my own. Personality but

433
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:01,399
Speaker 1: she assured me THAT i was never the. PROBLEM i

434
00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:04,640
Speaker 1: didn't cry or, yell just left the house and came

435
00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:06,800
Speaker 1: to my sister's. House we didn't talk about divorce or

436
00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:08,960
Speaker 1: anything like. THAT i even think my wife doesn't see

437
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:11,399
Speaker 1: any problem with what she did with her. Friend But

438
00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:14,439
Speaker 1: i'm sure THAT i don't want to spend all my

439
00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:18,040
Speaker 1: life in a loveless relationship with a woman that will

440
00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:19,000
Speaker 1: never love me black.

441
00:19:19,119 --> 00:19:21,160
Speaker 2: Totally i'm sorry for the long. Post i'm just.

442
00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:23,040
Speaker 1: Venting at this, point BUT i feel LIKE i wasted

443
00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:25,639
Speaker 1: all my. YOUTH i didn't expect update so, fast BUT

444
00:19:25,680 --> 00:19:27,600
Speaker 1: i needed to talk about. That it's not LIKE i

445
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,720
Speaker 1: don't feel bad for. HER i, do but NOW i

446
00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:32,600
Speaker 1: feel even worse for. Myself and there are some relevant

447
00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:39,479
Speaker 1: comments and another juicy update and another juicy, update so

448
00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:41,800
Speaker 1: we'll get into all of. That but what do you

449
00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:44,000
Speaker 1: think do you THINK op should like head straight for the?

450
00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:46,439
Speaker 1: Divorce what do you think op should do now that

451
00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:48,000
Speaker 1: we have more, CONTEXT.

452
00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:51,440
Speaker 3: I think op should absolutely leave the, relationship sit down

453
00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:54,760
Speaker 3: with the wife and SAY i can't, be you, know

454
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,840
Speaker 3: in a relationship where WHERE i Know i'm not gonna you,

455
00:19:57,840 --> 00:19:59,760
Speaker 3: know you, know receive love and all this. Stuff, however

456
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:03,640
Speaker 3: going to game plan with you to try and protect

457
00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:06,440
Speaker 3: you as best as possible from your family so they

458
00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:09,840
Speaker 3: don't know. That this is the reason THAT i, think you,

459
00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:10,359
Speaker 3: know AND.

460
00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:12,080
Speaker 1: I MEAN i think but like LIKE i think he.

461
00:20:12,119 --> 00:20:14,520
Speaker 1: CAN i mean that almost feels like like that does

462
00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:17,680
Speaker 1: that doesn't need to take that emotional burden Of, yeah

463
00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:19,880
Speaker 1: like probably not say like to say, like, Hey i'm

464
00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:22,920
Speaker 1: not going to expose your relationship to your. Family, yes

465
00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:24,520
Speaker 1: but HE i think he needs to take care of.

466
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:26,400
Speaker 3: Him so maybe not, yeah and maybe not game, Plan

467
00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:28,720
Speaker 3: BUT i THINK i think you're you're correct in saying, like,

468
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:30,760
Speaker 3: LOOK i won't tell them the exact, reason you know

469
00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:32,720
Speaker 3: WHAT i, mean, like, oh we grew apart and like

470
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:35,760
Speaker 3: leave it at, that and you, know But I'M i

471
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:36,840
Speaker 3: need to move on with my.

472
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:38,280
Speaker 2: Life and you, Know.

473
00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:45,280
Speaker 1: Opie should definitely not stay. Loveless storage please do. It

474
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:49,760
Speaker 1: please save, YOURSELF opi and honestly best for both, people,

475
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:51,160
Speaker 1: yes best for both.

476
00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:51,440
Speaker 2: People.

477
00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:54,320
Speaker 1: Yes so here are some relevant. Comments ALPINE j says

478
00:20:54,359 --> 00:20:57,160
Speaker 1: how she tried contacting you since you? Left opie, says,

479
00:20:57,280 --> 00:20:59,119
Speaker 1: no not at, all but at least for. TODAY i

480
00:20:59,119 --> 00:21:01,639
Speaker 1: don't want to talk with her. Either king Thunder flash

481
00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:03,960
Speaker 1: says you need to divorce her and go completely no.

482
00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:06,600
Speaker 1: Contact i'm curious if you believe in the no contact

483
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:08,720
Speaker 1: thing AFTER i read. This you deserve so much better

484
00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:11,199
Speaker 1: than that toxic woman who has led to your face for.

485
00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:13,960
Speaker 1: Years i'm, sorry Op opie, Says i'm sure THAT i

486
00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:16,760
Speaker 1: will divorce, her ALTHOUGH i still didn't tell her that

487
00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:19,400
Speaker 1: BECAUSE i want time. ALONE i feel empathy for her

488
00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:21,439
Speaker 1: and always saw her as a kind, woman but the

489
00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:24,120
Speaker 1: fact she used me totally changed my perception of. Her

490
00:21:24,359 --> 00:21:27,520
Speaker 1: thanks for your. Words what do you, Think? Johnny you

491
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:29,720
Speaker 1: think like you think she should go no or do

492
00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:30,760
Speaker 1: you think op should go no?

493
00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:33,439
Speaker 3: CONTACT i will speak as IF i was the person

494
00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:37,160
Speaker 3: in a. SCENARIO i would say, LIKE i don't Think

495
00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:40,399
Speaker 3: i'm gonna go no contact right. Now but you, know

496
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,800
Speaker 3: given that you KNOW i was in this, RELATIONSHIP i

497
00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:45,960
Speaker 3: didn't know like all these, things LIKE i am going

498
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:48,520
Speaker 3: to take as much space AS i possibly need if

499
00:21:48,520 --> 00:21:50,679
Speaker 3: you reach out AND i don't answer or something like,

500
00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:51,440
Speaker 3: That i'm.

501
00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:53,600
Speaker 2: Sorry i'll be, honest LIKE i need that.

502
00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:56,280
Speaker 3: Space not THAT i necessarily want to close that door for,

503
00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:59,840
Speaker 3: forever BUT i need to figure out and, dictate you

504
00:21:59,880 --> 00:22:01,920
Speaker 3: know WHAT i WHAT i need for this in the

505
00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:02,639
Speaker 3: space THAT i.

506
00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:05,400
Speaker 2: Need so don't be. Surprised, yeah If i'm.

507
00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:09,639
Speaker 1: The the the comment about the lying to your face for,

508
00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:12,639
Speaker 1: years and like the the like the fact that she, like,

509
00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:16,160
Speaker 1: like do you think the wife used op like BECAUSE

510
00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:19,880
Speaker 1: i don't know IF i agree with. THAT i, mean like, yes,

511
00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:22,920
Speaker 1: yes but like not like it doesn't feel like it

512
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:26,320
Speaker 1: was like intentionally. Malicious, yeah there's the context of the.

513
00:22:26,359 --> 00:22:30,000
Speaker 1: SITUATION i, MEAN i definitely like the one thing THAT

514
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:32,000
Speaker 1: i would really love for the wife to see is

515
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:37,560
Speaker 1: the acknowledgment that like basically the, apology Like i'm so

516
00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:40,880
Speaker 1: sorry that you know you were the person that got

517
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:42,480
Speaker 1: roped in and you know.

518
00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:44,679
Speaker 2: She needs to be. Sorry she needs to be.

519
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:47,200
Speaker 3: SORRY i Think opie really deserves an apology because, again

520
00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:51,640
Speaker 3: like everything we've, heard it feels Like opie really handled

521
00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:54,119
Speaker 3: the situation empathetically and.

522
00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:58,480
Speaker 1: He's not like, yelling he's not screaming he's empathetic in

523
00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:01,439
Speaker 1: a lot of. Ways, Absolutely and and to give them

524
00:23:01,440 --> 00:23:03,840
Speaker 1: even a little more credit empathetic and maybe an environment

525
00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:05,720
Speaker 1: where that's not an easy thing to, do you, know

526
00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:07,359
Speaker 1: there's something to be said for. That so with the

527
00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:09,760
Speaker 1: religious backgrounds and people and. Everything, Yeah AND i think

528
00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:13,240
Speaker 1: people underestimate how hard it is when you are when

529
00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:17,080
Speaker 1: you are programmed basically from birth, yep with all of

530
00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:22,479
Speaker 1: these ideals and these values and these stories and also shame,

531
00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:24,600
Speaker 1: yep how hard it is to get. Out LIKE i

532
00:23:25,119 --> 00:23:28,360
Speaker 1: have a friend that is like dealing with a girlfriend

533
00:23:28,359 --> 00:23:30,920
Speaker 1: that like basically grew up super, religious and there's like

534
00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:34,200
Speaker 1: a lot of shame, around you, know like like sex and, stuff,

535
00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:38,080
Speaker 1: right and so like even if she intellectually understands that

536
00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:41,280
Speaker 1: this this is like like she shouldn't be shameful of, that,

537
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:46,040
Speaker 1: emotionally it's it is very hard to shed that those

538
00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:47,760
Speaker 1: ideologies and those things one hundred.

539
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:51,680
Speaker 3: P it's fucking you, know like a lot this brainwase. Brainwashing.

540
00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:54,119
Speaker 3: Yeah AND i have someone who's very close to. Me

541
00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:58,160
Speaker 3: their father moved to The states when they were flight.

542
00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:01,960
Speaker 3: Thirties so you're telling, me you, know someone in that partiction,

543
00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:03,879
Speaker 3: scenario someone grows up in a whole nother, country a

544
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:07,040
Speaker 3: whole different set of ideas smack into a whole new. Thing,

545
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:09,320
Speaker 3: like there's so many reasons why people can get like

546
00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:11,400
Speaker 3: in a dated and it really is a hard thing.

547
00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:15,080
Speaker 1: To, YEAH i think like we don't exist with a single.

548
00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:18,200
Speaker 1: Culture like all of us are raised In western, culture

549
00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:21,920
Speaker 1: where we believe certain things and accept certain, people and

550
00:24:22,119 --> 00:24:24,639
Speaker 1: we should hold in those ideas because totally we believe.

551
00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:27,159
Speaker 1: Them BUT i think there is a level of patience

552
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:30,480
Speaker 1: that should be extended with people that are not privileged

553
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:33,080
Speaker 1: enough to grow up with that love and acceptance that

554
00:24:33,119 --> 00:24:36,399
Speaker 1: maybe is around like our, relationship.

555
00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:37,440
Speaker 3: Knowing where someone's coming. From that's all it. Is you

556
00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:38,199
Speaker 3: can stay firm in your.

557
00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:40,119
Speaker 2: Belief, Baby there's a little bit more to this.

558
00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:44,239
Speaker 1: Story, oh final, updates which is not true because there

559
00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:48,200
Speaker 1: is another. Update but this is this also comes From, november,

560
00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:51,199
Speaker 1: Right maybe nobody remembers my first two, posts BUT i

561
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:53,119
Speaker 1: wanted to at least post a final update Because i'm

562
00:24:53,119 --> 00:24:55,320
Speaker 1: really thankful for all the kind comments and ADVICE i.

563
00:24:55,359 --> 00:24:57,760
Speaker 1: Received they're helping a. LOT i came back to my

564
00:24:57,840 --> 00:25:00,800
Speaker 1: house the day after my last. Update my ex wife

565
00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:03,240
Speaker 1: was there laying on the. Couch the first THING i

566
00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:05,320
Speaker 1: said WHEN i entered was we're going to.

567
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:06,280
Speaker 2: Divorce. Yep.

568
00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:08,600
Speaker 1: Good maybe that wasn't the best way of saying, it

569
00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:11,200
Speaker 1: but she has a habit of changing the topic WHEN

570
00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:13,200
Speaker 1: i want to talk about serious, things SO i didn't

571
00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:15,760
Speaker 1: want her to do this this. Time she clearly didn't

572
00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:18,160
Speaker 1: expect that and started to cry and have an anxiety,

573
00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:20,280
Speaker 1: attack saying that we can't, divorce THAT i can't do

574
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:22,960
Speaker 1: that to. Us but what hit me harder was there's

575
00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:25,199
Speaker 1: no point in us breaking. Up the fact THAT i

576
00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:31,000
Speaker 1: don't love you doesn't change. Anything, ooh that. Hurts that,

577
00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:34,280
Speaker 1: hurts which is. TRUE i realized that our relationship was

578
00:25:34,359 --> 00:25:37,000
Speaker 1: always like, that her treating me just like a friend

579
00:25:37,119 --> 00:25:39,480
Speaker 1: and me accepting that kind of. Trait she said that

580
00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:42,159
Speaker 1: she never cheated or anything like, that even IF i

581
00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:44,919
Speaker 1: explained again what emotional cheating. WAS i told her that

582
00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:47,480
Speaker 1: she's not even attracted to, men so there's no sentence

583
00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:49,960
Speaker 1: staying married because we're just not for each, other and

584
00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:52,159
Speaker 1: asked her if she still loved that best, friend and

585
00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:54,400
Speaker 1: she didn't deny, it but kept insisting that we should.

586
00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:57,080
Speaker 1: DIVORCE i can understand why she was so, desperate but

587
00:25:57,119 --> 00:25:59,080
Speaker 1: it made me feel, used like IF i was her

588
00:25:59,119 --> 00:26:02,199
Speaker 1: pathetic beard who she can always use as a shield for,

589
00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:04,760
Speaker 1: herself or a dog will always be happy with the

590
00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:07,800
Speaker 1: smallest token of. AFFECTION i don't need her signature anyway

591
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:09,840
Speaker 1: to get a, divorce so even if she doesn't want,

592
00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:12,639
Speaker 1: to we're one hundred percent going to break. UP i

593
00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:14,399
Speaker 1: told Her i'm not going to take her out of the,

594
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:16,720
Speaker 1: closet WHICH i think is, yes, good very. Good but

595
00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:19,040
Speaker 1: if anyone, Asks i'll just say the, truth avoiding the

596
00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:22,320
Speaker 1: sexuality topic BECAUSE i don't want people gossiping and assuming

597
00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:24,679
Speaker 1: things that didn't. Happen the land and basically all the

598
00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:26,600
Speaker 1: things of the house are, mine and Maybe i'm an

599
00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:28,359
Speaker 1: asshole for, this BUT i told her THAT i will

600
00:26:28,359 --> 00:26:31,119
Speaker 1: not give her anything because it's all mine AND i

601
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:34,480
Speaker 1: inherited the land from my. Grandfather i'm curious what y'all think.

602
00:26:34,359 --> 00:26:37,240
Speaker 2: Of, that, Man, Yeah i've good. Question at this, point.

603
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:39,800
Speaker 1: She just looks sad and, defeated so she didn't complain or,

604
00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:42,359
Speaker 1: anything ALTHOUGH i will get advice from my lawyer to be.

605
00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:43,720
Speaker 2: SURE i told her that she.

606
00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:46,280
Speaker 1: Can stay Until december in the, house and she answered

607
00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:48,040
Speaker 1: that she will probably have to come back to live

608
00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:50,480
Speaker 1: with her, parents which actually made me feel good because

609
00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:52,879
Speaker 1: my ex in laws are not good. People but for

610
00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:55,160
Speaker 1: what she, said she's still talking with her best, friends

611
00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:58,560
Speaker 1: so luckily she's not. Alone the conversation finished, awkward with

612
00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:01,920
Speaker 1: me just leaving really, quick really, quick, pausing what do

613
00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:03,280
Speaker 1: you think about the move to take?

614
00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:07,840
Speaker 3: EVERYTHING i, mean, LIKE i think THAT op has done

615
00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:11,120
Speaker 3: a lot and been very. Empathetic maybe you could say

616
00:27:11,119 --> 00:27:13,680
Speaker 3: it in kind of a nicer, way but, LIKE i

617
00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:15,600
Speaker 3: think that's totally.

618
00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:18,879
Speaker 2: FINE i think that's totally fine, ultimately you.

619
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:22,760
Speaker 3: Know AND i ALSO i think especially her saying, like,

620
00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:25,080
Speaker 3: oh our relationship is still the, same like let's just

621
00:27:25,119 --> 00:27:27,200
Speaker 3: Stay like she's not being empathetic towards.

622
00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:31,480
Speaker 1: Him, no, no she is not giving any like she's

623
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:33,919
Speaker 1: not giving, yes, yes there's no. Gift she's, LIKE i

624
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:35,720
Speaker 1: want everything to stay the. Same, YES i want it

625
00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:36,960
Speaker 1: to stay on my, terms.

626
00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:40,280
Speaker 3: Yes which which is all for her, benefits, yes and AGAINST.

627
00:27:40,359 --> 00:27:42,800
Speaker 1: Op, yeah AND, op like you need to be happy,

628
00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:45,479
Speaker 1: too that's, Right and, honestly DIVORCING i think will make

629
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:46,480
Speaker 1: her happier a long.

630
00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:47,400
Speaker 2: Term it ultimately.

631
00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:49,720
Speaker 1: Will for, Now i'm staying at my sister's. HOUSE i

632
00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:52,040
Speaker 1: can have time for myself since she and my other

633
00:27:52,119 --> 00:27:54,439
Speaker 1: sisters are out of the province for a. CONCERT i

634
00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:56,439
Speaker 1: didn't talk with my ex wife after that, day and

635
00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:58,480
Speaker 1: she didn't try to contact, me BUT i know that

636
00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:00,760
Speaker 1: she told my ex in laws about the divorce because

637
00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:03,720
Speaker 1: they wanted to contact me ask why we are. DIVORCING

638
00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:05,919
Speaker 1: i just answered there are things that need to be

639
00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:09,240
Speaker 1: resolved only between her and. Me so this will probably

640
00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:11,440
Speaker 1: be my last update BECAUSE i will go no contact

641
00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:12,600
Speaker 1: with my ex wife oufter the.

642
00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:13,600
Speaker 2: Divorce we don't have.

643
00:28:13,720 --> 00:28:16,240
Speaker 1: Children sometimes she started talking about having a, baby and

644
00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:17,320
Speaker 1: NOW i feel really.

645
00:28:17,119 --> 00:28:19,800
Speaker 2: Relieved of always saying THAT i didn't feel.

646
00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:22,800
Speaker 1: Ready maybe something in me was already telling me that

647
00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:25,440
Speaker 1: she wasn't for. Me, Yea so we don't have anything

648
00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:27,840
Speaker 1: that ties us. Together i've been going to a psychologist

649
00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:29,760
Speaker 1: SINCE i was a, child SO i think that has

650
00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:32,280
Speaker 1: helped a lot to channel my. Emotions many in the

651
00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:34,520
Speaker 1: comments said THAT i shouldn't have empathy or things like

652
00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:37,000
Speaker 1: that for, her but we're both broken people that suffer

653
00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:38,760
Speaker 1: from a religious, trauma AND i know how bad that

654
00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:41,320
Speaker 1: messages with people's minds and, hearts WHICH i think is

655
00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:43,840
Speaker 1: one hundred percent having empathy for their situation is.

656
00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:44,040
Speaker 2: Good.

657
00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:46,480
Speaker 1: Absolutely some people in the comments were confused about WHY

658
00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:48,560
Speaker 1: i stayed with her when she clearly didn't love me.

659
00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:49,840
Speaker 2: Romantically BUT i don't.

660
00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:52,840
Speaker 1: Know MAYBE i always justified her actions because SOMEHOW i

661
00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:54,200
Speaker 1: FELT i identified with.

662
00:28:54,280 --> 00:28:55,240
Speaker 2: Her MAYBE i have a hero.

663
00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:57,560
Speaker 1: Compoix or maybe my sense of duty is too strong

664
00:28:57,600 --> 00:29:00,200
Speaker 1: THAT i felt internally tied up with her and responsible

665
00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:03,320
Speaker 1: for making her happy as her, husband even if she

666
00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:06,280
Speaker 1: always rejected my romantic. LOVE i don't. Know that's just

667
00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:08,600
Speaker 1: SOMETHING i will work on with my. Psychologist, ALSO i

668
00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:11,120
Speaker 1: received questions like WHY i married her in the first,

669
00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:13,240
Speaker 1: place and she was the one who said we should,

670
00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:16,120
Speaker 1: marry and THAT i SAY i was immature and young

671
00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:18,040
Speaker 1: at the, time and because we got along, WELL i

672
00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:19,880
Speaker 1: thought it was a good. Idea for, NOW i just

673
00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:22,160
Speaker 1: want to divorce and spend time with my. Family in,

674
00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:24,920
Speaker 1: GENERAL i feel numb and. WEIRD i haven't cried, yet

675
00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:27,480
Speaker 1: and in the session of, yesterday my psychologist told me

676
00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:30,200
Speaker 1: that he THINKS i already agree with the relationship a

677
00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:33,960
Speaker 1: long time, ago even IF i didn't realize. IT i

678
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:35,960
Speaker 1: don't feel LIKE i lost a, wife BUT i like

679
00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:39,200
Speaker 1: a close friend or a good, company not a. Heartbreak,

680
00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:41,880
Speaker 1: pain but a betrayal. Pain, ANYWAYS i don't want anything

681
00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:43,880
Speaker 1: to do with her. Anymore Maybe i'm being a bad

682
00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:46,560
Speaker 1: person for abandoning her and knowing the type of life she,

683
00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:48,840
Speaker 1: Had BUT i can't save a. Person you douysn't want

684
00:29:48,840 --> 00:29:50,840
Speaker 1: to be, saved And i'm tired of. Trying for, NOW

685
00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:53,080
Speaker 1: i will just say, goodbye maybe not to a WOMAN

686
00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:55,080
Speaker 1: i saw as the love of my, life but to

687
00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:56,400
Speaker 1: a woman who helped.

688
00:29:56,400 --> 00:29:57,520
Speaker 2: Me it was a good friend for.

689
00:29:57,640 --> 00:30:00,280
Speaker 1: Years i'm really thankful for the kind comments people, left

690
00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:02,480
Speaker 1: even some mean ones which made me. Think Maybe i'm

691
00:30:02,480 --> 00:30:05,040
Speaker 1: too quiet with HOW i. Reacted that's something. WRONG i

692
00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:07,800
Speaker 1: was never the temperamental. Type i'm sorry the update was

693
00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:10,680
Speaker 1: a boring one and not about me starting My billain.

694
00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:13,520
Speaker 2: Era that's not my. Style thanks, everyone And john.

695
00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:18,000
Speaker 1: There is a final. Update but what do you think

696
00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:19,560
Speaker 1: of WHAT op has gone through so?

697
00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:24,280
Speaker 3: FAR i really like How op has approached, everything AND

698
00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:26,440
Speaker 3: i think all of the instances of LIKE i don't

699
00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:28,240
Speaker 3: really think you can point to an instance WHERE op

700
00:30:28,480 --> 00:30:28,760
Speaker 3: was like.

701
00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:30,440
Speaker 2: Wrong or like two over the line or.

702
00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:33,160
Speaker 1: ANYTHING i feel like if there is a playbook on

703
00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:36,320
Speaker 1: how to handle your wife being in love with her best,

704
00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:40,640
Speaker 1: friend this raise the. Playbook it is the, yeah The,

705
00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:43,160
Speaker 1: bible and also like The bible in terms of like

706
00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:46,880
Speaker 1: the best empathetic thing you do while also making sure

707
00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:48,000
Speaker 1: he is covered.

708
00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:50,959
Speaker 2: Totally I'm, I'm i'm proud Of. Op honestly like.

709
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:53,280
Speaker 3: THAT i you, know a lot of times in these

710
00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:56,520
Speaker 3: stories there's at least one moment where something goes. Wrong it's, Like,

711
00:30:56,560 --> 00:30:58,240
Speaker 3: okay that was kind of an a whole, move which,

712
00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:00,440
Speaker 3: HONESTLY i think would have been, understanding.

713
00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:03,680
Speaker 1: Totally, understandable but, like he really doesn't do. It he

714
00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:06,280
Speaker 1: really really doesn't do. It shout out to shout out TO.

715
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:08,880
Speaker 1: OPI i was talking some friends about like what morality

716
00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:11,640
Speaker 1: means or like how to define, it and they, said

717
00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:14,840
Speaker 1: like doing. Good it was like when the good that

718
00:31:14,880 --> 00:31:18,719
Speaker 1: you do for yourself trickles up in orders of. Complexity

719
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:21,800
Speaker 1: so it's like when if you're doing a moral, action

720
00:31:21,960 --> 00:31:25,320
Speaker 1: it's good for, yourself but it's also good for like the,

721
00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:28,560
Speaker 1: supergroup so it's like good for your, family for your,

722
00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:33,080
Speaker 1: society for your, culture for the. World AND i feel

723
00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:35,520
Speaker 1: like all the actions he did was good for himself

724
00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:38,920
Speaker 1: but also to his familial unit and to for like

725
00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:40,920
Speaker 1: for all people that are experiencing this kind of thing

726
00:31:40,920 --> 00:31:41,320
Speaker 1: one hundred.

727
00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:42,360
Speaker 2: Percent, yeah he didn't do.

728
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:44,440
Speaker 3: ANYTHING a lot of times people could do things in

729
00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:46,600
Speaker 3: the name and oh this is for my family or,

730
00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:48,640
Speaker 3: whatever but ultimately it's kind of self serving to their

731
00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:49,000
Speaker 3: ego or.

732
00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:50,840
Speaker 2: Something this really wasn't any of. Them yeah it.

733
00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:54,560
Speaker 1: Was it was self, serving but also serving the really

734
00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:57,680
Speaker 1: his relationship and everything. Else, like, yes everything was aligne.

735
00:31:57,760 --> 00:32:00,720
Speaker 1: Totally but we do have one final. Update, oh let's

736
00:32:00,760 --> 00:32:02,680
Speaker 1: get into. It, hello it's been a. While this was

737
00:32:02,720 --> 00:32:04,960
Speaker 1: On november, thirtieth and, sadly the mods to lead my

738
00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:06,800
Speaker 1: post two. TIMES i don't know if someone is going

739
00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:08,520
Speaker 1: to read, this but my, sister she knows About reddit,

740
00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:11,040
Speaker 1: posts showed me that someone posted the story on. TikTok,

741
00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:14,080
Speaker 1: SADLY i read the comments and beside the account change

742
00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:16,280
Speaker 1: a lot of. THINGS i also read all the kind

743
00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:18,680
Speaker 1: of comments and they thought this was. Fake SO i

744
00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:21,440
Speaker 1: want to clarify some. Things, ONE i never married her

745
00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:24,240
Speaker 1: BECAUSE i wanted a submissive. Woman we were both like best.

746
00:32:24,240 --> 00:32:26,200
Speaker 1: FRIENDS i don't know WHY i read comments SAYING i

747
00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:28,880
Speaker 1: wanted a housewife WHEN i. Didn't many TIMES i offered

748
00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:31,040
Speaker 1: her to work with, me but she never wanted to

749
00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:32,920
Speaker 1: look for a job or study. Something SO i didn't

750
00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:35,800
Speaker 1: insist because we were doing well. Financially, TWO i wasn't

751
00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:39,120
Speaker 1: going to open the relationship for. Her, LUCKILY i REALIZED

752
00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:41,040
Speaker 1: i deserve so much, better and to be, HONEST i

753
00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:43,240
Speaker 1: already give too many things up for her to give.

754
00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:44,680
Speaker 2: Up also my, life Thank.

755
00:32:44,720 --> 00:32:47,000
Speaker 1: God maybe some people think it's okay having a loveless,

756
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:48,360
Speaker 1: marriage but not, me not.

757
00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:48,880
Speaker 2: Anymore.

758
00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:50,960
Speaker 1: Whoo Three i've read a lot of comments saying he

759
00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:53,360
Speaker 1: should help, her he should be generous with the. Divorce

760
00:32:53,440 --> 00:32:55,240
Speaker 1: but how do you help a person who doesn't want

761
00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:57,080
Speaker 1: to be. HELPED i tried for years to help, her

762
00:32:57,120 --> 00:32:58,960
Speaker 1: and now ALL i do is keep hearing about the

763
00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:00,920
Speaker 1: horrible things she did be in my back THAT i

764
00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:01,920
Speaker 1: don't really want to talk.

765
00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:02,240
Speaker 2: About.

766
00:33:02,360 --> 00:33:04,840
Speaker 1: Four she used you because she was afraid of coming.

767
00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:07,240
Speaker 1: OUT i understand, That but DO i deserve THAT i

768
00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:09,720
Speaker 1: deserve to be. USED i deserved her to even use

769
00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:11,680
Speaker 1: my money to buy things for her best. FRIEND i

770
00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:13,880
Speaker 1: don't think. So, yeah we live in an open. Country

771
00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:16,160
Speaker 1: even one of my sisters is lesbian and, married AND

772
00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:18,000
Speaker 1: i KNOW i would have helped my soon to be

773
00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:19,960
Speaker 1: ex wife in the past if she confessed that to

774
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:22,720
Speaker 1: me five we, married but she had countless opportunities to

775
00:33:22,760 --> 00:33:24,640
Speaker 1: tell me the. Truth she never cared to see me

776
00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:27,080
Speaker 1: feel insecure about her and said she kept insisting that

777
00:33:27,080 --> 00:33:29,040
Speaker 1: we should have a. Baby NOW i realized that she

778
00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:31,240
Speaker 1: wanted to make sure that if we, divorced she would get,

779
00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:36,320
Speaker 1: something since she never worked or STUDIED whoa, SIX i

780
00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:38,719
Speaker 1: found out her best friend has a wife and a.

781
00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:41,600
Speaker 1: Baby so, no my ex wife is not with, her

782
00:33:41,640 --> 00:33:44,280
Speaker 1: and the situation became even more messed. Up but, HONESTLY

783
00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:46,320
Speaker 1: i don't want to get into. That my ex kept

784
00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:49,320
Speaker 1: insisting that she never cheated on me with her, physically

785
00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:51,120
Speaker 1: SO i THINK i believe her in.

786
00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:52,120
Speaker 2: That at least.

787
00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:55,200
Speaker 1: SEVEN i also suffered from religious, trauma and a trauma

788
00:33:55,240 --> 00:33:55,960
Speaker 1: doesn't make you a bad.

789
00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:57,600
Speaker 2: Person that's something that's. Inside.

790
00:33:57,720 --> 00:34:00,720
Speaker 1: Eight nobody forced her to that marriage in my but does.

791
00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:02,600
Speaker 1: THAT i asked her why she wanted to, marry and

792
00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:05,040
Speaker 1: she said that her parents told her that she needed to,

793
00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:07,000
Speaker 1: heal and she SAID i was a good man for.

794
00:34:07,080 --> 00:34:09,600
Speaker 1: Her that's why she used to insist a lot in getting.

795
00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:12,799
Speaker 1: Married so anyone wants to know how everything, Ended i'm getting.

796
00:34:12,840 --> 00:34:15,719
Speaker 1: Divorce it's tedious and a lengthy. Process i'm keeping the,

797
00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:17,360
Speaker 1: house the, car. Everything AM i?

798
00:34:17,440 --> 00:34:17,880
Speaker 2: Selfish?

799
00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:20,840
Speaker 1: Maybe BUT i wanted to think of myself once in a.

800
00:34:20,920 --> 00:34:23,640
Speaker 1: Lifetime working for those things is, hard AND i dedicated

801
00:34:23,680 --> 00:34:25,680
Speaker 1: my life to building my. House my ex wife is

802
00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:27,880
Speaker 1: currently living with her. Brother she never asked me HOW

803
00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:30,080
Speaker 1: i was neither WHEN i left the house after finding the,

804
00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:32,400
Speaker 1: truth BUT i did check if she was, fine sending

805
00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:34,840
Speaker 1: messages the first days asking how she was. FEELING i

806
00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:38,880
Speaker 1: suffered a mental breakdown a few days, ago understandable because

807
00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:41,000
Speaker 1: she keeps sending me text saying that we should come back,

808
00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:43,279
Speaker 1: together we should have a. Child never wanted a baby with,

809
00:34:43,320 --> 00:34:45,040
Speaker 1: Her she insists a lot of times in, that and

810
00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:47,239
Speaker 1: that it doesn't matter that she doesn't love. Me she

811
00:34:47,320 --> 00:34:47,920
Speaker 1: never loved.

812
00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:50,440
Speaker 2: Me why with? That how does this? Help how does that?

813
00:34:50,520 --> 00:34:52,640
Speaker 1: Help and we live, well SO i should go on

814
00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:54,920
Speaker 1: with the. Marriage for, her it makes me realize she's

815
00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:56,880
Speaker 1: only trying to make me feel. Guilty so that just

816
00:34:56,880 --> 00:34:59,560
Speaker 1: made me understand that for, Her i'm not even. Human

817
00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:02,200
Speaker 1: Maybe i'm not even a dog in her, Eyes SO

818
00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:05,360
Speaker 1: i just blocked her. NUMBER i understand she's anxious because

819
00:35:05,400 --> 00:35:07,839
Speaker 1: she doesn't have, anything but it's not Like i've never

820
00:35:07,920 --> 00:35:10,040
Speaker 1: told her to finish a, career so to be, HONEST

821
00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:11,120
Speaker 1: i just gave up on.

822
00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:12,160
Speaker 2: Her i'm too tired of the.

823
00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:14,600
Speaker 1: SITUATION i don't really know what she's going to do

824
00:35:14,719 --> 00:35:17,120
Speaker 1: with her, life BUT i don't care. Anymore my psychologist

825
00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:19,719
Speaker 1: made me realize all the narcissistic traits she. HAS i

826
00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:21,680
Speaker 1: want to move on with my life BECAUSE i deserve,

827
00:35:21,760 --> 00:35:24,160
Speaker 1: that and Because i'm tired of being. Used so, YEAH

828
00:35:24,280 --> 00:35:25,960
Speaker 1: i don't know if someone's going to read. This we,

829
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:28,760
Speaker 1: are BUT i want to leave this post here because

830
00:35:28,800 --> 00:35:32,080
Speaker 1: sadly people like to distort the, story AND i think

831
00:35:32,120 --> 00:35:32,960
Speaker 1: that is where it.

832
00:35:33,080 --> 00:35:34,040
Speaker 2: Ends we kind of got some.

833
00:35:34,120 --> 00:35:37,560
Speaker 1: Juicy updates of like more. WRONG i mean we got

834
00:35:37,560 --> 00:35:40,240
Speaker 1: some juicy. Updates so we also got some like updates

835
00:35:40,239 --> 00:35:44,960
Speaker 1: that WERE i feel like implied there is a lot

836
00:35:45,080 --> 00:35:48,200
Speaker 1: of dirt below the. Surface, yes if we're like reading

837
00:35:48,239 --> 00:35:49,920
Speaker 1: the tea leaves a little. Bit what do you think

838
00:35:49,960 --> 00:35:53,600
Speaker 1: are the things that he says he wouldn't talk, about.

839
00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:56,920
Speaker 2: Oh, oh in terms of them and their, relationship because he's,

840
00:35:56,960 --> 00:35:58,479
Speaker 2: like there's a lot of THINGS i won't get. Into,

841
00:35:58,840 --> 00:35:59,560
Speaker 2: WELL i think he was.

842
00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:03,799
Speaker 3: Saying my understanding of that was LIKE i don't want

843
00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:07,520
Speaker 3: to rehash these things because it's like now ultimately serving no,

844
00:36:07,560 --> 00:36:10,680
Speaker 3: purpose but it's like emotionally hurtful and maybe maybe specific

845
00:36:10,719 --> 00:36:13,680
Speaker 3: things like them being. Intimate maybe like he like he

846
00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:15,960
Speaker 3: could have felt bad about, himself, like, oh Maybe i'm

847
00:36:15,960 --> 00:36:18,960
Speaker 3: doing something, wrong like insecurity there it could have been

848
00:36:19,160 --> 00:36:20,960
Speaker 3: like with this one he spoke about a little bit.

849
00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:22,719
Speaker 3: More AM i being a good? Partner like MAYBE i

850
00:36:22,719 --> 00:36:24,160
Speaker 3: should just do? More and like all of these.

851
00:36:24,200 --> 00:36:27,000
Speaker 2: Things SO i feel like those types of subjects.

852
00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:28,439
Speaker 1: Are the things that he doesn't want to. Rehash, yeah

853
00:36:28,440 --> 00:36:30,920
Speaker 1: but it seems like there's things that she did.

854
00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:33,960
Speaker 3: That she touched on and was, like, No i'm gonna

855
00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:35,960
Speaker 3: gonna make this something to be.

856
00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:39,279
Speaker 1: Discussed, no, no, NO i mean Like i's it seems so

857
00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:42,120
Speaker 1: for years to, help and ALL i do is keep

858
00:36:42,160 --> 00:36:44,839
Speaker 1: hearing about the horrible things she did behind my back

859
00:36:44,920 --> 00:36:46,640
Speaker 1: AND i don't really want to talk about. It so

860
00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:49,800
Speaker 1: there are more things that she did right behind his

861
00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:50,960
Speaker 1: back that he doesn't want to talk.

862
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:53,239
Speaker 3: ABOUT i, Mean, loki what if they just what if

863
00:36:53,239 --> 00:36:54,960
Speaker 3: her and the best friend have had this relationship the

864
00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:58,760
Speaker 3: whole time and now that she's in the, area that's

865
00:36:59,080 --> 00:37:00,799
Speaker 3: just like she's like now she's going to be here

866
00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:02,359
Speaker 3: all the time AND i can see her and going

867
00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:03,279
Speaker 3: coffee dates and like.

868
00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:05,920
Speaker 2: He he does believe her that she they never like

869
00:37:05,960 --> 00:37:07,040
Speaker 2: had any physical thing.

870
00:37:07,040 --> 00:37:09,560
Speaker 3: Physical maybe if they never had any physical does that

871
00:37:09,640 --> 00:37:13,320
Speaker 3: mean they weren't like essentially like long distance dating, before

872
00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:16,520
Speaker 3: like like under the radar and nothing stable but nothing

873
00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:21,439
Speaker 3: physical a, lot but like emotionally each other's partner even

874
00:37:21,480 --> 00:37:24,000
Speaker 3: though they're both in their own relationship with that.

875
00:37:23,920 --> 00:37:28,719
Speaker 1: Was a bomb that just, honestly But i'm kind of

876
00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:32,280
Speaker 1: like that feels deserved a little, bit you, know the fact,

877
00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:32,759
Speaker 1: that but.

878
00:37:32,719 --> 00:37:33,759
Speaker 2: Why why don't they just?

879
00:37:33,880 --> 00:37:37,880
Speaker 3: Leave like especially especially the best friend because it's like

880
00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:40,279
Speaker 3: she's already in a relationship with another, woman has a

881
00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:43,640
Speaker 3: relationship with another. Woman it seems like it's they seem

882
00:37:43,680 --> 00:37:44,200
Speaker 3: meant to.

883
00:37:44,160 --> 00:37:47,480
Speaker 1: Be together children for better or for, worse children children

884
00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:49,239
Speaker 1: because the best friend had a.

885
00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:54,120
Speaker 3: Child but it's, like why why stay in a relationship

886
00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:56,560
Speaker 3: where you're obviously not going to be like you obviously

887
00:37:56,600 --> 00:37:57,120
Speaker 3: want to be with this.

888
00:37:57,160 --> 00:38:00,880
Speaker 2: Person BUT i understand that the wife friend as a.

889
00:38:00,920 --> 00:38:04,160
Speaker 1: Baby there is a reason that that is the reason,

890
00:38:04,960 --> 00:38:07,200
Speaker 1: Reason but, again like don't.

891
00:38:07,040 --> 00:38:09,160
Speaker 2: Don't be a piece of, crap like Just, yeah don't

892
00:38:09,200 --> 00:38:09,680
Speaker 2: be a piece of.

893
00:38:09,680 --> 00:38:12,960
Speaker 3: Crap just just exit the relationship and support as much

894
00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:15,319
Speaker 3: as you. Can, then you, know get into a new

895
00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:17,160
Speaker 3: one if if that's what you want to, DO i don't.

896
00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:17,719
Speaker 2: KNOW i don't.

897
00:38:17,719 --> 00:38:22,440
Speaker 1: Know pretty, pretty, pretty pretty, rough pretty pretty. Bad if

898
00:38:22,480 --> 00:38:25,640
Speaker 1: you love, us make sure to. Subscribe we love you

899
00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:26,520
Speaker 1: and we'll see you.

900
00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:27,040
Speaker 2: Tomorrow