Speaker 1: From Sam.
Speaker 2: Hello, how to do? What's your face? Lyle? The get go?
Speaker 2: How's it going? Oh?
Speaker 3: How long were you? How long were you practicing that? For?
Speaker 2: Literally two hours?
Speaker 3: Well are you not being literal? Are you?
Speaker 2: No? I mean literally two hours?
Speaker 3: For two hours in your head? You were going, how
Speaker 3: are you doing there? You were doing that for two hours?
Speaker 2: Well, I mean I was gonna say slowly different, but
Speaker 2: I'll just go with what I said.
Speaker 3: Well, what's your name again, sir?
Speaker 2: My name is Sam?
Speaker 3: Sam? Is that is that how you talk? Or? I
Speaker 3: thought you were just doing a bit that.
Speaker 2: Well it was going to go like this to hide
Speaker 2: my voice, but that fell apart instantly.
Speaker 3: Okay, are you still hiding at what's your real voice?
Speaker 3: I mean, you don't have to tell me if you don't. Yeah, well,
Speaker 3: uh oh, I'm excited to hear about what you're what
Speaker 3: you're going to tell me that you are desiring to
Speaker 3: remain anonymous.
Speaker 2: About it's pretty bad. My question is how far do
Speaker 2: you want to go back? We'll start with the Bay six.
Speaker 2: I'm twenty five. I've had depression as long as I
Speaker 2: can remember. It's been real bad at the age of
Speaker 2: about sixteen, and it's got worse and worse and worse.
Speaker 2: And then last week I tried to join a cult?
Speaker 3: Is that a euphemism for something? Or you tried to
Speaker 3: join a cult?
Speaker 2: Is I tried to join a cult? I didn't realize
Speaker 2: it was a cult I was trying to join. And
Speaker 2: then after I didn't join the cult, I got to
Speaker 2: thinking and realized, oh wait, that's not good.
Speaker 3: Tell me why go out? The floor? Is yours?
Speaker 2: All right? Let's go as far back as I.
Speaker 3: Could think, Well, wait a minute, I will. Let's do
Speaker 3: this cult thing. How did you try to join the cults?
Speaker 2: We're going to go back a little bit and I'll
Speaker 2: speed run through the story. My whole life, I've been
Speaker 2: trying to find just someone to love me, so I'm
Speaker 2: going to be my partner. I've never I can't speak
Speaker 2: my whole life. I haven't sent into my whole life
Speaker 2: trying to find someone to be my partner, someone to
Speaker 2: be my friend through life. Literally, even back before preschool,
Speaker 2: I remember thinking, man, can't wait to go to preschool
Speaker 2: meet all these people. One of them will be my partner.
Speaker 2: So through the entirety of elementary school. Come on, that's
Speaker 2: not realistic. Middle school tried a little bit didn't work.
Speaker 2: High school started doubling down. At the end of high school,
Speaker 2: asked out someone I thought was cute. They said yes,
Speaker 2: took them the prom. Had the best day of my life,
Speaker 2: after which through the rest of the school year, through
Speaker 2: the entire of the summer, I kept asking them out
Speaker 2: more and more, and they kept saying, no, I'm busy, No,
Speaker 2: I have to do this, No, i have to do that. Now. Me,
Speaker 2: being a very trusting, loving person, I thought they were
Speaker 2: telling the truth. I thought they were just busy. Yeah.
Speaker 2: So then I went off to college several thousand miles away,
Speaker 2: and through the entirety of college, I didn't bother with
Speaker 2: any other relationships. I didn't bother getting to know anyone,
Speaker 2: meeting anyone, making new friends, because I knew that when
Speaker 2: I headed back home after college, I didn't have someone
Speaker 2: to return to.
Speaker 3: Uh you, so when you went to when you went
Speaker 3: to college, you were like, Oh, the girl I went
Speaker 3: to prom with will be there when I get back,
Speaker 3: So I'm not gonna bother getting to know anyone new.
Speaker 2: Okay, So I get back and this chick does the
Speaker 2: same exact thing for months after month after month. YEP.
Speaker 2: In hindsight, it's pretty obvious you didn't want to go
Speaker 2: out with me. But I'm such a loving, trusting person
Speaker 2: that if you don't think, no, I don't. There was
Speaker 2: one other chick before this in high school. I asked
Speaker 2: her out and she said, sorry, man, I'm not your type.
Speaker 2: She's the only person that I've asked out that I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 2: that was fair, that was a fair way to do that.
Speaker 2: There's a lot of others that slightly led.
Speaker 3: Me on or as you look, when you're in I look,
Speaker 3: I understand me. When you're in high school in college,
Speaker 3: it takes you a second to uh understand the subtext
Speaker 3: of what is going on. And more important, more importantly,
Speaker 3: it's like you got to go through that fucking journey
Speaker 3: of like, uh be it you of like acceptance. It's
Speaker 3: a mourning like really right, because you know I know
Speaker 3: that you say you were being a sweet and trusting person,
Speaker 3: but like like in the deepest recesses of your brain
Speaker 3: was probably a person who was like, this person is
Speaker 3: not into you, and your defenses want to go no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 3: they totally are, and you have you have to kind
Speaker 3: of like, uh, you have to kind of learn how
Speaker 3: to mourn the this this thing and be like, Okay,
Speaker 3: this person's not into me. And more importantly, I deserve
Speaker 3: some relationship or a thing like that that that doesn't
Speaker 3: feel like I'm I'm I'm fucking pulling teeth to get
Speaker 3: somebody to, you know, like me. And that's that's just
Speaker 3: a lesson. You gotta fucking learn when you're when you're
Speaker 3: you know, at some point in your life, unless if
Speaker 3: you're unless if you're really really, really attractive, then then
Speaker 3: then you never have to deal with that.
Speaker 2: But we're getting there.
Speaker 3: Okay, go ahead.
Speaker 2: Uh yeah, I learned that lesson after this person. But
Speaker 2: with that person, I honestly I got this little thing
Speaker 2: that all the kids got these days, called autism that
Speaker 2: was not diagnosed until after college. Everyone else knew. I
Speaker 2: didn't know, so I didn't realize that. Honestly, I'm still
Speaker 2: not used to people lying. I just think everyone's telling
Speaker 2: the truth all the time, and it keeps biting me.
Speaker 2: Sure got back. I'm gonna go back into the story.
Speaker 2: Got back from college. This chick finally was like, listen,
Speaker 2: I just don't want to go out. That's not true.
Speaker 2: She said yes to one more date after waiting a
Speaker 2: year and a half, we went on one more date.
Speaker 2: I went home, checked Facebook. She was in a relationship
Speaker 2: with someone else. All I read was in a relationship
Speaker 2: with and I closed that, laid down, put heaven, burn pillow,
Speaker 2: and just rearranged my entire understanding of the world for
Speaker 2: about an hour.
Speaker 1: Yep.
Speaker 2: And after that it was I'm gonna fast forward a
Speaker 2: lot of stuff. I worked at a place, I quit
Speaker 2: that place, accidentally fell in love with my best friend
Speaker 2: on the internet at the time, who Then two three
Speaker 2: years later, one of my friends accidentally told me, you
Speaker 2: know your best friend loves you, right. I have a
Speaker 2: long history of trusting people like I did that chick,
Speaker 2: and it hurting me so immediately when I went to
Speaker 2: college and was still trying to chase that chick who
Speaker 2: didn't like me, I made a new friend on the
Speaker 2: internet due to mutual acquaintance of one of my other
Speaker 2: friends who went to a different college. We hit it
Speaker 2: off immediately. We talked for two or three hours, had
Speaker 2: a great time, and over that year, then the next year,
Speaker 2: and the next year below, I was just wasting my
Speaker 2: life away working in retail. I slowly liked this person
Speaker 2: more and more and more. Then they became my best friend.
Speaker 2: And then one day in twenty trying to remember, I
Speaker 2: think it was March twenty twenty. It was January twenty twenty,
Speaker 2: before the big pandemic and everything hit, or November twenty twenty,
Speaker 2: but Thur nineteen, you know, right before the pandemic hit.
Speaker 3: Okay, so you fell in love with this person over
Speaker 3: the internet, and then did you talk to them? Did
Speaker 3: you meet them?
Speaker 2: Yes, because I realized that I had fallen in love
Speaker 2: with them four months before our mutual acquaintance's wedding, when
Speaker 2: I was going to be stuck in a house sleeping
Speaker 2: in the same bedroom with the person that I had
Speaker 2: fallen in love with and they didn't know. Okay, We
Speaker 2: for those two or three days had essentially everything I
Speaker 2: imagine you have in a committed mutual relationship. We're talking
Speaker 2: hugging all the time, holding each other all the time,
Speaker 2: hex sleeping in the same bed, feeding food into each
Speaker 2: other's mouths. At one point we spooned for an hour straight.
Speaker 2: At one point I pinned him to a bed and
Speaker 2: we cuddled for two hours straight. And then at the
Speaker 2: end of all of this, I'm like, I love you,
Speaker 2: and he goes, I'm not gay. Figure that one out?
Speaker 2: What but yeah, uh huh. And I'm like, we have
Speaker 2: been talking about this four months. We have done every
Speaker 2: single thing I could imagine spending the rest of my
Speaker 2: life with you.
Speaker 1: Do it.
Speaker 2: I don't. And he's like, Nope, not me.
Speaker 4: Whoa yeah, you know uh ah man, you know, uh man,
Speaker 4: that's pretty crazy, dude.
Speaker 3: I'm that's a bummer. That's a bummer. But this is
Speaker 3: this is the thing, man, and and you you you
Speaker 3: It's it's a hard boundary to reinforce because your emotions
Speaker 3: don't want to make you reinforce it. But it's like, look,
Speaker 3: you could be you could be sitting there groveling, going,
Speaker 3: what do you fucking mean you're not gay? We we kissed,
Speaker 3: we cuddled, we fucking did all this gay ship. What
Speaker 3: do you mean you're not gay? And you can sit
Speaker 3: there and maybe you're right and maybe he's repressing whatever, whatever, whatever.
Speaker 3: But at the end of the day, my friend, if
Speaker 3: this guy is looking at you, whatever is going on
Speaker 3: in his brain, whatever is in his journey, whatever, then
Speaker 3: if he's looking at you and he goes, sorry, dude,
Speaker 3: not gay, can't do it. You have to be. It's
Speaker 3: a fucking hard thing, but you gotta be able to
Speaker 3: go well all right, see.
Speaker 2: You yep, And that would have been the right thing
Speaker 2: to do four years ago. But he also was my
Speaker 2: best friend, and he had successfully put himself into a
Speaker 2: position where he's friends with all of my old friends,
Speaker 2: all of the only people they ever talked to on
Speaker 2: the internet. So for the next three four years, it
Speaker 2: was on off, on off, really awkward, really weird. All
Speaker 2: the time. We both knew what was happening, but we
Speaker 2: never talked about it. Because I would like to go
Speaker 2: on Discord and play games with my friends that I've
Speaker 2: had one of which since kindergarten, you know, the one
Speaker 2: since middle school. I'd like to go play games and
Speaker 2: talk with my best friends in life. Problem is, guess
Speaker 2: who's always there? Oh, this guy that I'm in love
Speaker 2: with but I also hate and he really really likes
Speaker 2: me as a friend, but he also kind of hates
Speaker 2: me because of this. And it's just this weird dynamic
Speaker 2: where sometimes I would leave the discord for a month
Speaker 2: or two and then come back. Sometimes he would leave
Speaker 2: the Discord for a month or two and then come back.
Speaker 3: But right this whole thing becomes infinitely complicated when it's like, uh,
Speaker 3: you know, if somebody is just like an isolated part
Speaker 3: of your life and you go, well, I really don't
Speaker 3: want to remain friends with the person that I'm in
Speaker 3: love with because it's it hurts, you know, that's that's
Speaker 3: not easy. But like, you know, whatever, you can cut
Speaker 3: it off. But when they're in a circle with all
Speaker 3: of your other friends, that's tricky. Chick, It's tricky.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, there was. I had no way out. Everyone
Speaker 2: says find new friends, but at the same time, it's like,
Speaker 2: do you have any idea how long it takes to
Speaker 2: make new old friends?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Do you have any idea how long it's going to
Speaker 2: take me to make a new friends that I've had
Speaker 2: for tense kindergarten?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, okay, we didn't get the cult yet. Yeah, no,
Speaker 3: I know, keep going on this story.
Speaker 2: Uh so I go back to my but the wedding ends.
Speaker 2: I go back to my home, he goes back to his,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, what do I do in life? I'm
Speaker 2: lost One of my friends, one of our mutual friends,
Speaker 2: of course, becomes a school bus driver, and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: I could I could do that? So I get my CDL.
Speaker 2: I'm like, well, I want to drive something, but not
Speaker 2: a school bus, and the one that I'm in love
Speaker 2: with goes, you should drive the school bus to be
Speaker 2: good experience. Boom. I instantly signed up, became a school
Speaker 2: bus driver and drove through twenty twenty and twenty twenty one,
Speaker 2: so the COVID year that year, that was the worst
Speaker 2: possible year to be interacting with anyone in public, especially
Speaker 2: children on a school bus. Oh my goodness, I don't
Speaker 2: ever want to go back.
Speaker 1: Oh.
Speaker 2: I became a school bus driver because the person that
Speaker 2: I'm in love with told me to any comments.
Speaker 3: Any comments on that. Well, I think when you're asking
Speaker 3: me for any comments, I think you know the comment
Speaker 3: that you want me to say, do you not?
Speaker 2: I don't know, go for it.
Speaker 3: Obviously, making a major life decision based on, you know,
Speaker 3: someone who you're in love with telling you that it
Speaker 3: would be a good idea is not the best way
Speaker 3: to make well, I don't did I did I say
Speaker 3: just now major life decision because I don't think that
Speaker 3: was a major life decision. I mean, I don't you know.
Speaker 2: I would major life decision. And we'll be honest, and
Speaker 2: it's about to get so much worse when I tell
Speaker 2: you the next major life position.
Speaker 3: All right, keepee, I'm gonna say my comments until the end.
Speaker 3: Keep going.
Speaker 2: That's fair, that's fair. So I became a school bus
Speaker 2: driver and drove a school bus in this beautiful, scenic location,
Speaker 2: absolutely amazing. Everyone that moves there says it's their favorite
Speaker 2: place in the world. But I grew up there, so
Speaker 2: I'm used to it. I look at the trees and go,
Speaker 2: trees have always been there. I look at the mountains,
Speaker 2: and go, mountains have always been there. The nature's there.
Speaker 2: Who cares? I want to move somewhere else. I want
Speaker 2: to see what the rest of the world it's like.
Speaker 2: So this person I'm in love with one night, I'm
Speaker 2: in the discord and I'm just real down. I'm real sad,
Speaker 2: and I'm talking and I'm like, I don't know, man.
Speaker 2: I want to leave my parents behind. I want to
Speaker 2: leave this house behind where I grew up. I want
Speaker 2: to see what the real world is like. I don't
Speaker 2: know what to do. I don't know where to go,
Speaker 2: and he goes, you should move here. We could hang out.
Speaker 2: We would have fun.
Speaker 3: Oh no.
Speaker 2: So that was at about ten PM. That conversation. At
Speaker 2: one thirty in the morning, I booked a one way
Speaker 2: ticket and told no one. Three weeks later, I tell
Speaker 2: my parents, Hey, I'm moving to Indiana, middle of nowhere,
Speaker 2: right next to Ohio. But hey, at least it's not Ohio.
Speaker 2: I'm moving to Indiana. And they're like what, and I go, yep,
Speaker 2: my flights in a week. I'm taking a double bag
Speaker 2: in a backpack and never looking back. I move with
Speaker 2: a duffel bag and a backpack and zero plans straight
Speaker 2: to Indiana. Show up at like noon, go uh shoot,
Speaker 2: now what when I message my friend who I've had
Speaker 2: since kindergarten who happens to live in talk and I go, hey,
Speaker 2: can I stay in your apartment for like, you know,
Speaker 2: a week or two? And He's like, yes, you're an idiot, and.
Speaker 5: I'm like, I'm aware I am anyway, So I got
Speaker 5: the easiest thing possible, an apartment that I'm still in
Speaker 5: literally five hundred feet from my friends since kindergarten.
Speaker 3: You got an apart You got an apartment, so uh yeah,
Speaker 3: well these just I mean, you say, it's these is impossible.
Speaker 3: Did you have any money?
Speaker 2: I had enough money in the bank that it wasn't
Speaker 2: an issue, all right, not much, but my dad conveniently
Speaker 2: did rather well and started to what is it? What's
Speaker 2: it called? He started a little bank account when I
Speaker 2: was gid, like thirty k Okay, it's not the most amount.
Speaker 5: It's not a small loan of a million dollars, but
Speaker 5: it's not like recents, okay.
Speaker 3: All right? So you move, you move, like well, very
Speaker 3: impulsively to be with this guy that you're in love with. Yep, okay,
Speaker 3: And you get the apartment, and you get an apartment
Speaker 3: like five hundred feet.
Speaker 2: From him, five hundred feet from my friends in kindergarten,
Speaker 2: like five miles from the guy in love with.
Speaker 3: All right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the first day, we all three hang out. It's awesome,
Speaker 2: it's amazing. It's everything I've ever wanted again, and everything
Speaker 2: seems pretty normal. The guy I'm in love with introduces
Speaker 2: me to some of his other friends. It's cool. The
Speaker 2: next day, the guy that I'm in love with comes
Speaker 2: over and picks me up in his car, and we
Speaker 2: again spend all day hanging out and it's awesome and
Speaker 2: it's amazing, and I overhear at the end of the day,
Speaker 2: I overhear him. This is before I had the apartment,
Speaker 2: so We're at my friend's apartment. I hear him over.
Speaker 2: I overhear him talking with my friend and he says, yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm free tomorrow. I have nothing to do. And I'm like, oh, okay, cool,
Speaker 2: just store that in the back of my head. So
Speaker 2: the next day comes along, my friend whose apartment I'm in,
Speaker 2: leaves the apartment and says, well, you can't leave because
Speaker 2: I have the key and you need to eat a
Speaker 2: lock the front door. And I'm like, okay, sure, I'm
Speaker 2: stuck in your apartment all alone with nothing to do
Speaker 2: all day, and I know that the first I'm in
Speaker 2: love with is about five miles away across town and
Speaker 2: has nothing to do all day. Now, in my personal history,
Speaker 2: if I have quote nothing to do all day, that
Speaker 2: means I'm sitting at home alone, sad wishing that anyone
Speaker 2: would ever show up. So what do I do. Well,
Speaker 2: I get some scotch tape, I get a ziploc bag,
Speaker 2: and I go to the front door. Now, the problem
Speaker 2: is I can't leave because there's a dead bolt that
Speaker 2: I can't lie. However, if you scotch tape a ziplock
Speaker 2: bag to the inside of it, then closed the door
Speaker 2: from the outside, then pull the ziplock bag through the gap.
Speaker 2: It twists the dead bolt and locks you out. So
Speaker 2: I did that, and I went and rented one of
Speaker 2: those little rental scooters, the Electric Ones, and rode for
Speaker 2: two hours across the entire town that I've never been
Speaker 2: in and don't know my way around, on the sidewalks
Speaker 2: that are concrete blocks, so there's about an inch gap
Speaker 2: between each one of them. Straight to this guy that
Speaker 2: I'm in love with apartment and he's like, what the
Speaker 2: heck are you doing here? And I'm like, hi, surprise,
Speaker 2: and he's like, I don't understand uh moral of a story.
Speaker 2: He didn't want me there, which makes sense in hindsight,
Speaker 2: but at the time, I'm like, you know, in every
Speaker 2: movie and every TV show ever, when you see like
Speaker 2: the dude standing outside with the boom box playing new
Speaker 2: music in the chicken side, it's like, what the Heck's
Speaker 2: going on out there? And opens the window and it's
Speaker 2: this guy who's like, look what I did for you?
Speaker 3: That was was he was? He was he hang Was
Speaker 3: he hanging out with your friends?
Speaker 2: No? He was just alone that day.
Speaker 3: Oh oh okay, I thought I thought you were gonna
Speaker 3: walk in on him and your friend like hooking up
Speaker 3: or something.
Speaker 2: Oh, that'd be wild. Uh. It was also the fact
Speaker 2: that hold On, he lived in this apartment that was
Speaker 2: on the bottom floor of like a five story building,
Speaker 2: and it was wet, dark, and there were those house
Speaker 2: centipedes that have like twenty thirty legs crawling everywhere. It
Speaker 2: was horrendous, and I'm like, I have to save this
Speaker 2: person from this place.
Speaker 3: So, uh, okay, how long ago was this? This is
Speaker 3: twenty twenty three.
Speaker 2: Uh, that was twenty twenty one, Okay, for years?
Speaker 3: How did you end up joining a cult?
Speaker 2: We're getting there, We're getting there, okay. Uh yeah, he
Speaker 2: didn't like that over sure. He at one point texted
Speaker 2: my friend, my friend picked me up. I still have
Speaker 2: get to get to the bottom of that, but I'm
Speaker 2: like ninety percent sure. The one I'm in love with texted,
Speaker 2: my friend said, this guy's crazy. Come pick him up
Speaker 2: and get him out of here, which is fair. Then
Speaker 2: you know, I don't think we hung out again. He
Speaker 2: moved out of town, went somewhere else because he was
Speaker 2: done being in college here where he went to college,
Speaker 2: which is fair, and I just kind of hung out,
Speaker 2: still talking with him most days on the internet. Sometimes
Speaker 2: he would go away for a month or two, like
Speaker 2: I said. Sometimes I would go away from a month
Speaker 2: or two, like I said, just because we couldn't handle
Speaker 2: being with each other. But at the same time, we're
Speaker 2: both such good friends and we love playing games and
Speaker 2: talking with each other. We can't handle being away from
Speaker 2: each other.
Speaker 3: This is your higher friends. This is you're talking about
Speaker 3: your friends in kindergarten, right, not the guy you're in
Speaker 3: love with. Ah.
Speaker 2: Shoot, I mixed it up. Nah, I'm just talking about
Speaker 2: the one I was in love with.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 2: The friends in kindergarten at this point had a wife.
Speaker 2: He had a wife, and he had a dog, and
Speaker 2: he had a whole career set up. He was living
Speaker 2: his own life. And it would come into the discord
Speaker 2: like once every month, just to see what was going on.
Speaker 3: He had so saw my brother, my brother, my brother,
Speaker 3: my brother. Yeah, how did you end up joining a cult?
Speaker 3: How does this lead to you joining a cult?
Speaker 2: We're almost there, okay, So I keep this. This weird
Speaker 2: thing with the one I'm in love with goes on
Speaker 2: and on and on for years and years and years.
Speaker 2: About two months ago I was invited to go and
Speaker 2: hang out in Dallas, Texas for like three days with
Speaker 2: the one I'm in love with and my best friend
Speaker 2: since kindergarten. So we did, and the first day was amazing,
Speaker 2: hanging out with the one I was in love with,
Speaker 2: joking around, just walking around Dallas. It was very nice.
Speaker 2: It's really fun. It was a little vacation. The next day,
Speaker 2: the friend that I've known since kindergarten shows up, and
Speaker 2: same thing. Whole day of hanging out, having a good time.
Speaker 2: They I repeatedly told them, I don't want to go
Speaker 2: do this one thing. I don't want to do this
Speaker 2: one thing. I don't want to do this one thing.
Speaker 2: I am not exactly mentally well. I have strong opinions
Speaker 2: against this. I don't want to do it. But they
Speaker 2: still took me there. It tripped something in my head
Speaker 2: and I kind of lost my mind a little bit.
Speaker 3: I've ever covered what can I ask? What this thing?
Speaker 2: Last night, I got really really drunk, having a great
Speaker 2: time with everyone. We went back to the hotel room
Speaker 2: and one of them said something I don't remember what
Speaker 2: it was. I think it was You're still young, you
Speaker 2: haven't wasted your life yet. And I just broke crying, screaming,
Speaker 2: about hold on.
Speaker 3: Hold on, stop, stop for a second. Stop stop for
Speaker 3: a second. What was this thing you didn't want to do?
Speaker 2: Go shoot guns?
Speaker 3: Okay?
Speaker 2: I don't like guns. I don't want to ever hurt
Speaker 2: anyone in my life. I love everyone. I think everyone
Speaker 2: is the most special person who's ever existed.
Speaker 3: Okay, So, Sam, how does this lead to you joining
Speaker 3: a cult?
Speaker 2: Because at the end of me screaming and crying all night,
Speaker 2: at two in the morning, my best friend's in skindergarten
Speaker 2: and the guy I've been in love with called the
Speaker 2: police and ran away through different hotel. Okay, so I
Speaker 2: went back after this, Yeah, I went back. I quit
Speaker 2: my job, and I just vibed for like a month.
Speaker 2: Then I went on vacation to my parents' house, so
Speaker 2: I had to pretend to be normal for two three weeks.
Speaker 2: On the way out of my vacation from my parents' house,
Speaker 2: this is like last week. We are at the colt.
Speaker 2: This is where the story starts, but now you have
Speaker 2: the backstory.
Speaker 3: Hold on, this cannot be where the story starts, my friend.
Speaker 2: This is where the story starts, but now you have
Speaker 2: the backstory. I hope you're sitting.
Speaker 3: Okay, if this is where the story is start. This
Speaker 3: is like, this is like Red Dead Redemption two, where
Speaker 3: you're like, hold on, that was the prologue to the
Speaker 3: fucking thing. Oh yeah, Okay, well I'm gonna I'm gonna
Speaker 3: tell you. I'm gonna ta the truth right now, sam
Speaker 3: My AirPods are about to die, so this cannot actually
Speaker 3: be where the story starts. But I'll say this, Okay,
Speaker 3: go ahead, How did you almost get into this cult?
Speaker 2: You want to do that? Or do you want to
Speaker 2: book me up for Monday?
Speaker 3: There's no such thing as booking you up for Monday.
Speaker 3: That's not a real thing.
Speaker 2: And let's do this thing. I can't tell this could
Speaker 2: story that. Shoot, see what I can do?
Speaker 3: You're gonna have to Yeah.
Speaker 2: While it was really, really, really tired, I got some
Speaker 2: I was talking with people on a discord I was
Speaker 2: in about my mental illness and one not on They're like,
Speaker 2: you need to do this, you need to do that.
Speaker 2: One of them went, hey, you want to take a
Speaker 2: little ADD test and ADHD test, And I went sure,
Speaker 2: So I real quick speed ran through the ADD test
Speaker 2: ADHD test. All my flights for the day got borked up,
Speaker 2: so by the end of the day I've been up
Speaker 2: twenty four hours straight on four hours of sleep, and
Speaker 2: this person went, hey, you want to talk about a
Speaker 2: weird sex stuff? And I went, I got nothing better
Speaker 2: to do. Hit me with it because I've been up
Speaker 2: for twenty four hours. And they just started saying the
Speaker 2: weirdest sex things. Oh, you can do this, you can
Speaker 2: do that, you can live your life this way, you
Speaker 2: can live your life that way. And I'm losing my mind,
Speaker 2: like that's not how life works. That's not how any
Speaker 2: reality that I've ever grown up in works. And I'm like, no, no,
Speaker 2: it's power works, don't it's not life works. Just okay
Speaker 2: the way that they do.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna, I'm gonna. I'm gonna'm gonna. I'm gonna intervene
Speaker 3: right now.
Speaker 2: I got one in the left. But okay for.
Speaker 3: It, Sam, Sam, I really, I really, I really have
Speaker 3: to ask, do you do you do you see a
Speaker 3: real therapist?
Speaker 2: I'm about to okay, oh no, yeah, I'm booked up
Speaker 2: with someone looking for a psychiatrist for me to get
Speaker 2: me fixed so I can move out of this town
Speaker 2: that I moved through because I was in love with someone.
Speaker 3: Okay, Sam, I really feel like Sam, I really, I dude,
Speaker 3: I really mean this. I really feel like you deserve
Speaker 3: to be happy. I'm really just saying that, like from
Speaker 3: the bottom of my heart. I really mean that, and
Speaker 3: I really hope that you get whatever help you need
Speaker 3: or come to whatever conclusions that you need to come
Speaker 3: to for you to like make better decisions, you know
Speaker 3: what I mean? Because like.
Speaker 1: I just.
Speaker 3: Do you still feel like you're you're impulsive?
Speaker 2: I at this point have not been thinking for the
Speaker 2: past week. I've literally made it awful limits to think
Speaker 2: about anything because I've realized how mentally ill I am
Speaker 2: and I need to find proberably a psychiatrist to get
Speaker 2: whatever the heck is in my head out of my head.
Speaker 3: Okay, how old are you?
Speaker 2: Sam? Twenty five?
Speaker 3: Okay, I think you Yeah, I think you mentioned that,
Speaker 3: did you. I I know you said you can't tell
Speaker 3: the story and briefly, but you totally can. And I
Speaker 3: promise you that. Pretend like, pretend like you're at the
Speaker 3: end of the story. Pretend like you're telling me the
Speaker 3: last two sentences of the story. What would those last
Speaker 3: two sentences be?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Oh, and I think I got this. I don't
Speaker 2: know if they kicked me out of their ritual places.
Speaker 2: I don't think they kicked me out because they cared
Speaker 2: about me or because they were afraid of me. But
Speaker 2: either way, I am glad that I did what I did,
Speaker 2: because if I didn't do what I did, if I
Speaker 2: didn't put everything I had into joining this cult, then
Speaker 2: and there, I would be joining for free in two
Speaker 2: weeks and I would never come back out. So I
Speaker 2: have no hard feelings against the cult members. They did
Speaker 2: what they thought was appropriate. They saw someone who was
Speaker 2: weak and needed help and had no other options, and
Speaker 2: they tried to take me in, but I was so eager.
Speaker 2: I get the feeling the cult members are at like
Speaker 2: a five out of ten on the crazy scale, and
Speaker 2: they look for people that are like a two or
Speaker 2: a three, because you can take a tour or of
Speaker 2: three on the crazy and bump it up to five.
Speaker 2: I showed up and was at a nine out of ten,
Speaker 2: and they went, listen, my friend, you're too crazy for us.
Speaker 2: Please go get some help. You know, when the cultists
Speaker 2: say you're too crazy to join the cult, that's when
Speaker 2: you know you got a problem.
Speaker 3: Sam. I really, I really like, like, Okay, you're gonna
Speaker 3: go see a psychiatrist and you're gonna go go to therapy.
Speaker 2: Yep. I'm gonna see a psychiatrist, get that figured out, hopefully,
Speaker 2: get my mind a bit level, and then move out
Speaker 2: of this town and go.
Speaker 3: Okay, good, because I really think like you're it sounds
Speaker 3: and I'm not in anything you are. You know, you
Speaker 3: don't have to. I don't need to explain that I'm
Speaker 3: not a real therapist to you. I'm sure you're ready. No,
Speaker 3: But like if I were you, brother, I would like
Speaker 3: take every like stop, like, don't go. They don't do
Speaker 3: it like I like, like if I were you, I
Speaker 3: would like literally not do anything except pouring one hundred
Speaker 3: percent of my effort into trying to like get better.
Speaker 2: You know, all right, I'm actually I'm embarrassed about it,
Speaker 2: but I do plan on moving back in with my
Speaker 2: parents for some time.
Speaker 3: Sam Sam Sam Sam. Life. I say it all the time,
Speaker 3: and I mean it. Life is fucking crazy circumstances, the brain,
Speaker 3: the universe, we live it. It's fucking crazy, Okay, And
Speaker 3: I don't think you should be embarrassed about saying, you
Speaker 3: know what, I really don't be embarrassed about you about
Speaker 3: identifying that you have this crazy problem that is such
Speaker 3: a strong priority that you will do anything to fix it,
Speaker 3: including moving back in with your parents. Don't be embarrassed
Speaker 3: to that. I think that's a really good decision. So really,
Speaker 3: don't be embarrassed of it. You really shouldn't be. I
Speaker 3: think you're making the right decision. Okay. There's from what
Speaker 3: you've told me so far over the course of us
Speaker 3: being on the phone call, of the possible decisions I
Speaker 3: think are within the realm of possibility for you to make,
Speaker 3: moving back in with your parents is the best one
Speaker 3: that I could think of that are in the realm
Speaker 3: possibility for you to make, based on what you've told
Speaker 3: me so far, So don't be embarrassed of it. Okay,
Speaker 3: I think it's a great idea. You move back in
Speaker 3: with your parents, You go see a psych you go
Speaker 3: see a therapist, you just figure it, just figure the
Speaker 3: shit out. Sometimes life gets to that point, dude, Sometimes
Speaker 3: life gets to that point where you've been so fucked
Speaker 3: up for so long things have just been going crazy,
Speaker 3: where you just have to go like, Okay, I gotta
Speaker 3: drop everything and i gotta make fixing this fucking shit
Speaker 3: a priority. Because you know, I'm only twenty, I'm only
Speaker 3: twenty six years, twenty five. We're young dudes, like, there's
Speaker 3: a lot of life ahead and if you take this year, two, three, four,
Speaker 3: however long it is to sit down and go I'm
Speaker 3: gonna figure this shit out. I really want to be
Speaker 3: optimistic and say that you can like live a nice, fulfilling,
Speaker 3: great life for many many years after you get better.
Speaker 3: So don't fucking be embarrassed of it.
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, sounds good.
Speaker 3: How are you feeling, Sam?
Speaker 2: Uh? Better than I was? Still a little bit crazy?
Speaker 3: Yeah, so you know you know, well, listen, man, it
Speaker 3: is is. I'm glad we got to talk. I'm glad
Speaker 3: you're making this decision. I hope it goes well. Message
Speaker 3: me on Instagram, you know, a year, two three, whenever,
Speaker 3: if you if this works, if you're like, hey, I
Speaker 3: figured it out, I went to therapy. Life is going good,
Speaker 3: send me a thing. I want an update on this.
Speaker 3: If you have an update, Uh, give me one. I'm curious.
Speaker 2: You want like every week updates are like only in
Speaker 2: like a year.
Speaker 3: No, no, not every week, not every week, but like
Speaker 3: when you like, if when you feel significant, if like,
Speaker 3: I'll take a I'll take a year update.
Speaker 2: That'll work. Okay, I'll hit you up on August ninth
Speaker 2: and a year.
Speaker 3: Okay, hit me you know what, hit me up on
Speaker 3: August ninth in a year. Do that. And I'm curious
Speaker 3: if things have gotten better?
Speaker 6: All right?
Speaker 3: And Sam, is anything else? Is there anything else you
Speaker 3: want to say to the people of the computer before
Speaker 3: we go?
Speaker 7: Uh?
Speaker 2: Sometimes even though you think you're the smartest person in
Speaker 2: the room, you're not. And just sometimes thinking to yourself
Speaker 2: is not the answer. You really do need to just
Speaker 2: talk to other people and figuret out.
Speaker 3: Sam, honest to god, good luck man. Okay, take take
Speaker 3: take care brother.
Speaker 2: You too. You're probably doing better than I am.
Speaker 3: But you if only you fucking knew, take care. Yes,
Speaker 3: I hope that guy's doing all right. Attention listeners of
Speaker 3: the Therapy Gecko podcast. Do you know that I do
Speaker 3: a live version of this podcast on stage in person
Speaker 3: in front of real people, And that I'm doing this
Speaker 3: live show in several cities across the United States and Europe?
Speaker 3: And that tickets are available right now at therapy geckotour
Speaker 3: dot com or at the link in the episode description.
Speaker 3: It is all true. I'm currently on my third tour
Speaker 3: doing Therapy Gecko Live. All around the country and it
Speaker 3: is the most fun, sick, amazing thing ever and you
Speaker 3: should come out and be a part of it. The
Speaker 3: shows involve a mix of material and presentations from myself
Speaker 3: combined with a group Gecko therapy session where members of
Speaker 3: the audience come on stage to share things from their
Speaker 3: lives in front of a big group of people, just
Speaker 3: like we do here on the podcast. Whether you're a
Speaker 3: fan of the podcast or you have no idea what
Speaker 3: this is and you clicked on it by accident, you're
Speaker 3: gonna have a great time at the live show once again.
Speaker 3: Tickets are available right now at therapy geckotour dot com
Speaker 3: or at the link in the episode description. These are
Speaker 3: really fun shows. They're always wild, they're always unpredictable, and
Speaker 3: I hope to see you guys there.
Speaker 8: Awesome schell yo, Oh my god, I'm finally on.
Speaker 3: What's up?
Speaker 2: Man?
Speaker 3: What's your name?
Speaker 2: Chef?
Speaker 3: Shit? What's going on?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 8: A lot of life, A lot of life.
Speaker 3: Get okay? Do you want to talk about any of it?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 3: Absolutely, okay, let's do it.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 8: I texted you because well, the main thing is I
Speaker 8: got fired from my job back in May. Now, I
Speaker 8: was a shitting employee. I'll admit to that. But it's
Speaker 8: been a little tough in the job market, especially as
Speaker 8: an engineer. But after a lot of second round interviews
Speaker 8: that you know, fall flat, I think I'm gonna get
Speaker 8: an offer soon, So feeling optimistic about that at least.
Speaker 3: Hey, congrats man, that's cool. You know, the job market
Speaker 3: is tough no matter what you are doing. I remember
Speaker 3: when I was like sixteen, I was just trying to
Speaker 3: get to fucking like I was just trying to get
Speaker 3: like a shitty job doing a retail or like working
Speaker 3: at a grocery store or whatever. And I kept putting
Speaker 3: in all these applications and I would never hear back
Speaker 3: from any of these places. And then I realized, like,
Speaker 3: it doesn't matter what the thing is. It could be
Speaker 3: like electrical engineering or working at a fucking grocery store.
Speaker 3: You like gotta know a guy in the fucking thing you,
Speaker 3: I mean, oh my god, And it's it's so annoying,
Speaker 3: and it like it genuinely does not matter how prestigious
Speaker 3: or whatever the job is. Like you have like like
Speaker 3: people like people talk about like the entertainment industry where
Speaker 3: it's like, uh, oh, you know that person only got
Speaker 3: that job because they, you know, know the owner or whatever.
Speaker 3: And it's like there's nepo babies working at the grocery
Speaker 3: store where it's like, you gotta know, a guy got
Speaker 3: the job because his uncle's the manager of the fucking safeway.
Speaker 3: It's like, that's how anyone. It's so frustrating out there,
Speaker 3: no matter what kind of job you're trying to get.
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh my god.
Speaker 3: So okay, so that's so we're optimistic.
Speaker 8: Now, Yeah, we're optimistic. And I'm always an optimistic person,
Speaker 8: you know.
Speaker 2: I mean it helps to.
Speaker 3: Be what anything else going on.
Speaker 8: I mean, I'm home a lot throughout the day just
Speaker 8: because I'm unemployed, but I pass the time really just
Speaker 8: with friends or hell, I'm petting my cat right now.
Speaker 8: She's trying to get my attention. A lot of a
Speaker 8: lot of shows, video games.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, you sound like you're doing what When you
Speaker 3: said that life was lifing, I I anticipated that you
Speaker 3: might be in some kind of extreme duress. But I'm
Speaker 3: happy to hear that that doesn't seem to be the case.
Speaker 3: As far as you're letting onto me, it.
Speaker 8: Sounds like extreme duress. I mean, I've definitely nervous about
Speaker 8: not having a job. Well also because like I'm past
Speaker 8: my seventh period for my old job, so you know,
Speaker 8: I'm no longer getting money.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 8: So I'm hopeful that this offer comes in soon because
Speaker 8: you know, my my one priority right now is to
Speaker 8: stop free falling.
Speaker 3: Oh you're like burning through your savings.
Speaker 8: Yeah, yeah, that's the that's the that's yeah, that's a
Speaker 8: That's the one thing I definitely recommend is don't get
Speaker 8: fired because uh because it definitely, uh definitely hurts your
Speaker 8: VIC account for sure.
Speaker 3: Uh do you so, do you know a person at
Speaker 3: this engineering thing or did you just kind of get
Speaker 3: in as a as a random?
Speaker 8: Well, it's it's funny because I started off as a
Speaker 8: random and it's actually back in my hometown. So I'm
Speaker 8: in Harrisonburg, Virginia. I don't know if they're familiar with
Speaker 8: that at all.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 8: If you know James Madison University, it's it's that town.
Speaker 8: And this job is actually back in my hometown, which
Speaker 8: is about an hour away.
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 8: I'm known of them, and in fact, my dad, who's
Speaker 8: also an engineer, used to like consult use like the
Speaker 8: consultant for their their building. And then when I got in,
Speaker 8: I realized we got a pretty interview. I realized that
Speaker 8: some of their higher ups work with my dad in
Speaker 8: the past on like some town rutary thing. There's like
Speaker 8: a couple other people that I I was like looking
Speaker 8: through the list on LinkedIn. A couple of people are
Speaker 8: recognized there, so there'd be some familiarity, which is nice.
Speaker 3: That's good. That's good. Yeah, it's hard. It's hard if
Speaker 3: you're starting from complete scratch. But I'm glad to hear
Speaker 3: that you're not gonna starve and die because it doesn't
Speaker 3: seem like a fun way to live.
Speaker 2: Yeah, if it was.
Speaker 8: Like two months from now, I'd be very much worrying
Speaker 8: about starving and dying.
Speaker 3: What's your name again, sir? Shep Shep? Anything else do
Speaker 3: I say to the people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 2: Go?
Speaker 8: Commanders?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 8: What do they the Washington commanders of the NFL team?
Speaker 3: Okay, go go commanders?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 8: Absolutely. And oh, by the way, I saw you in
Speaker 8: Richmond and you asked the crowd at one point, is
Speaker 8: anyone Jewish? And there was one person who yelled back, and.
Speaker 2: That was me.
Speaker 3: Ah, that's that's awesome. Yeah, I do that at every show.
Speaker 3: I don't do that at every show. I don't know
Speaker 3: why I said that, but I'm that's surprising. Do you
Speaker 3: think you were the Well no, I don't think you
Speaker 3: were the only Jewish person there. I just think that
Speaker 3: someone else.
Speaker 8: Someone else then spoke up.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that you know, as Jewish people, we
Speaker 3: don't they'd like to identify ourselves because that that doesn't
Speaker 3: historically go in our favor.
Speaker 8: Yeah, just a little bit.
Speaker 3: Well good luck and uh lhiam well him see ye yep.
Speaker 3: I'll tack this on to this call because this is
Speaker 3: something I think about a lot. Is you know, the
Speaker 3: whole thing about like, hey, you have to know somebody
Speaker 3: to get into a job. I so the one job
Speaker 3: that I really wanted when I was in high school
Speaker 3: and college was that I wanted to work at Adult
Speaker 3: Swim because I was really into that network when I
Speaker 3: was a kid. And so I did this thing. And
Speaker 3: if you're like in college right now, especially if you're
Speaker 3: like I want to do like an entertainment industry thing,
Speaker 3: this is something I highly recommend doing. Is I would
Speaker 3: go on Twitter and I would just like find people
Speaker 3: who worked in the entertainment industry, who like worked on
Speaker 3: TV shows, that I really liked, or who worked at
Speaker 3: Adult Swim or whatever, and I would just tweet at
Speaker 3: them and I'd be like, Hey, my name is Lyle
Speaker 3: and I'm in and I'm a little boy. Can we
Speaker 3: can I ask you for advice about the industry? And
Speaker 3: I wouldn't. And a lot of people they try to
Speaker 3: do that, but to like famous, but like a lot
Speaker 3: of people are like tweeting at mister Beast, like, hey,
Speaker 3: mister Beast, can I I want to work for you?
Speaker 3: And it's like that's not what you do. You fucking
Speaker 3: find like the like the third ranking guy who works
Speaker 3: for mister Beet, So you tweeted them because they're on
Speaker 3: Twitter all day that you know they have seven hundred
Speaker 3: followers or whatever. So that's what I would do. And
Speaker 3: I got to interview some interesting people. I interviewed the
Speaker 3: head writer of the Eric Andre Show. I interviewed the
Speaker 3: I was really too Nathan for you. I got to
Speaker 3: interview not Nathan, but the guy who co created the
Speaker 3: show with him. I was there was this like back
Speaker 3: in twenty fourteen, maybe there was this viral video from
Speaker 3: Adult Swim called too Many Cooks. I got to interview
Speaker 3: the guy who made that, and then I kind of
Speaker 3: parlayed my connection with that guy that I just made
Speaker 3: by you know, hitting people up on Twitter into working
Speaker 3: on one of his shows, and then I kind of
Speaker 3: parlayed that into eventually getting to work at Adult Swim
Speaker 3: for a little bit and so on. All these like
Speaker 3: connections are kind of out there, but you just got
Speaker 3: to go on Twitter and be like, oh, I don't
Speaker 3: know if it's still Twitter anyway. This was I was
Speaker 3: doing this back in like twenty seventeen, so I don't
Speaker 3: know if Twitter is Maybe it's crazy now, but yeah,
Speaker 3: I don't know those connections out because if you just
Speaker 3: like send in a job applications for a lot of stuff,
Speaker 3: you just get fucked, like nobody cares about your job application.
Speaker 3: You got to like noah, person. But there's the people
Speaker 3: out there if you just try to find them on
Speaker 3: the computer. Hello, Hello, heuck, what's up man? What's your name?
Speaker 1: My name is James.
Speaker 3: James. You texted me and you said I'm afraid of
Speaker 3: using my penis.
Speaker 1: I did say that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, what does that mean?
Speaker 7: Uh? Okay, So yeah, it's strange. I guess well, maybe
Speaker 7: it's not too strange. Maybe some people have had this before,
Speaker 7: but it's new to me. I was basically just having
Speaker 7: sex with my partner and yeah, like you know the
Speaker 7: bit that connects your four skin to your dick, the.
Speaker 3: Bit that connects your foreskin to your dick.
Speaker 1: Yeah, some people call it like the banjo.
Speaker 3: Card, the part of your penis that connects your foreskin.
Speaker 3: I guess I don't really have foreskin because I'm circumcised.
Speaker 7: Oh okay, yeah, maybe maybe this is a cultural difference.
Speaker 7: But yeah, man, that thing, that thing like started bleeding.
Speaker 7: That thing like ripped, So that was not fun. And
Speaker 7: it's kind of.
Speaker 3: Oh is it on the front of your penis. Yeah,
Speaker 3: like the little the little of the tiny thing that
Speaker 3: connects like the tip of the pen the little uh
Speaker 3: it looks like the same thing you got on your tongue,
Speaker 3: right that connects your tongue to your mouth. You know
Speaker 3: what I'm talking about?
Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, you know that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, is that what you're talking about?
Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, that ripped.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Man ah, oh, it was just going fucking too hard.
Speaker 3: I guess Jesus fad my god, that's the worst thing
Speaker 3: I've ever heard ever in my entire life. Did it bleed?
Speaker 7: Yeah, there was so there was like a little bit
Speaker 7: of blood, right, So, like it happened once and then
Speaker 7: we stopped. I washed and everything, and then I like
Speaker 7: looked up online.
Speaker 1: Like what should you do if this happens?
Speaker 7: And it really it kind of just said like leave
Speaker 7: it for like four weeks and then you know, see
Speaker 7: how it goes. So we've done that, and then that
Speaker 7: happened again.
Speaker 3: So it happened again.
Speaker 7: Yeah, madam, I'm scared.
Speaker 3: Like, yeah, no, I'm with you, man. I don't think
Speaker 3: you should have I don't think you should ever touch
Speaker 3: a penis ever again. I think you just you just
Speaker 3: off limits. You know, maybe a year. Can you go
Speaker 3: a year without touching your penis?
Speaker 1: That's gonna be hard to think. Ironically.
Speaker 3: Are you are you Irish? What are you?
Speaker 1: I'm Scottish?
Speaker 3: Oh we wee. Yeah, yeah, that's terrified. What did the
Speaker 3: doctors tell you? They said, okay, so you here's what
Speaker 3: I would have done. I would have gone back to
Speaker 3: that doctor that told you, uh what four days? How many?
Speaker 3: How long did the doctor tell you?
Speaker 1: No, it was just like online, like I just seen
Speaker 1: that online because I was.
Speaker 3: Like, this is something hey, listen, listen, this is something
Speaker 3: you go see a doctor in person. For this is
Speaker 3: not a This is not a thing you ask chat
Speaker 3: GPT about. Okay, go to a fucking doctor and tell
Speaker 3: them to grab Have a doctor grab your penis and
Speaker 3: stare at it with their eyes in person. Okay, this
Speaker 3: is not an online issue. Okay, this is not ah
Speaker 3: a digital doctor calling. All right, you're fucking dick ripped
Speaker 3: in half, my brother. They have doctors in Scotland.
Speaker 1: They do, they do.
Speaker 7: But yeah, man, it's uh, it's something like eighteen months
Speaker 7: to get like a clinical like doctor to see you.
Speaker 1: So I don't know.
Speaker 3: Hold on, okay, all right, two things. Two things. There's
Speaker 3: no way you need you have to wait a year
Speaker 3: and a half to have a doctor look at your penis.
Speaker 3: Is that's really true?
Speaker 7: No, So I don't I don't know. To be fair,
Speaker 7: that is a lie. A doctor has looked and touched
Speaker 7: my penis. But to get like a professional urologist to like,
Speaker 7: because my doctor was like, you're gonna have to get circumcised, mate,
Speaker 7: So like, yeah.
Speaker 3: Did your doctor look at your did your doctor look
Speaker 3: at your penis after it got ripped?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Okay, well I thought you said you saw a doctor
Speaker 3: on the internet.
Speaker 7: No, Just so we have like the NHS here, and
Speaker 7: they have a bunch of like web articles on lots
Speaker 7: of different things.
Speaker 3: So hold on. So, brother, you're confusing me. Did you
Speaker 3: go to did you go to a doctor office and
Speaker 3: have a doctor in person look at your penis?
Speaker 1: I've done both.
Speaker 7: So after the first time, I googled it and then
Speaker 7: it said wait four weeks.
Speaker 1: So I waited four weeks and.
Speaker 7: Then when it happened again, I was like, fuck this,
Speaker 7: I'm going to the doctor today.
Speaker 3: And what did the doctor say?
Speaker 7: You know, he kind of said that everything looked all
Speaker 7: tip top to him, but that you know, it's it's
Speaker 7: not normal for that to happen. So he was going
Speaker 7: to refer me to a urologist to have a look
Speaker 7: at it.
Speaker 3: He said, you should get circumcised.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3: Hi am brother, welcome. Yeah for you, I'll throw you.
Speaker 3: I'll throw I'll throw you and your dick a bar
Speaker 3: mitzvah dude, and yeah it'll you'll it'll never be uh,
Speaker 3: I'll never rip again.
Speaker 1: How do you feel about that?
Speaker 3: How do I feel like getting circumcised?
Speaker 7: It was that like when you're young, you get it.
Speaker 3: Being circumcised is great, dude, you know, I think it's
Speaker 3: it's uh, it's it's always good to have less stuff.
Speaker 3: I think I think stuff burdens you, and that includes foreskin.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I think it's uh, it's definitely burden. Yeah, it's
Speaker 7: getting in the way, that's for sure.
Speaker 3: But you know, so your doctor, So your doctor told you,
Speaker 3: all right, uh, just don't touch your dick for a
Speaker 3: year and a half while you're waiting to see urologist.
Speaker 3: That's what they told you.
Speaker 7: No, my doctor said, he said, like, go for it.
Speaker 7: He's just like, see what happens. So we actually happened, Bro.
Speaker 3: You're all right. You know, people talk so much shit
Speaker 3: about the American healthcare system. Your doctor looked at your
Speaker 3: ripped dick and said, just go for it and see
Speaker 3: what happens.
Speaker 7: Yeah, basically, and we have we have had sex.
Speaker 3: A doctor told you that, Okay, what happened.
Speaker 7: Like, I've been just like taking a gentle right now
Speaker 7: for the clear reason of not wanting to, you know,
Speaker 7: tear it to shreds again. So yeah, I don't know,
Speaker 7: we'll just use their way into it. But yeah, I'm
Speaker 7: fucking scared of like using it.
Speaker 1: Man. It's not where I want to be.
Speaker 3: In like well, brother, I got it. Well, why don't
Speaker 3: you do this? Why don't you get really good at
Speaker 3: oral sex? Right? You don't use for that? Yeah, you don't.
Speaker 3: You don't have to use you don't have to use
Speaker 3: a penis for that.
Speaker 1: I've been I've been training, so to speak.
Speaker 3: I bet this is a good thing for for your
Speaker 3: partner because you've become a you've become a more gentle lover,
Speaker 3: and b you you've practiced your oral sex skills.
Speaker 1: So uh those really important.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Life is all about perspective, and that's the perspective that
Speaker 3: I would have on it if I was you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, man, I think that's that's a great mindset to have.
Speaker 3: I can't believe your doctor said just have sex and
Speaker 3: see what happens. That's crazy.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 7: I did kind of think it was a bit weird,
Speaker 7: But you know, he's not been totally wrong.
Speaker 1: Like we have had sex, like we have taken a
Speaker 1: gentle but it's been fine. So so far, so good. Yeah.
Speaker 7: I was staying away from that freaky ship for a while,
Speaker 7: that's for sure.
Speaker 3: Yeah. No, I definitely wait until you see the urologist,
Speaker 3: until you start tying each other up.
Speaker 1: Bringing the apes the handcuffs, so we put away.
Speaker 3: Well is there anything else you I say to the
Speaker 3: people of the computer before before you continue living your
Speaker 3: life in Scotland.
Speaker 1: Well, I hope you have a good weekend coming up.
Speaker 1: Last man, I'll see you when you're in Glasgow.
Speaker 3: Oh, rock and all. I'm excited. I'm excited. Number round two,
Speaker 3: Round two. All right, I'll bring you up on stage
Speaker 3: and you can show your bloody cock to everyone on
Speaker 3: at the show. All hello, folks, it's Lyle here. That's
Speaker 3: the end of this episode. But get this, I'm releasing
Speaker 3: a bonus episode this week. That's right, an entire extra
Speaker 3: hour of the podcast that you can listen to by
Speaker 3: becoming a premium member of Therapy Gecko over at Therapy
Speaker 3: Gecko dot supercast dot com. Supercast subscribers get access to
Speaker 3: bonus episodes, they get a completely ad free podcast feed
Speaker 3: of the regular show, they get recordings from my live shows,
Speaker 3: members only streams, and they help support my ability to
Speaker 3: continue doing this podcast. So here's a clip from this
Speaker 3: week's members only bonus episode.
Speaker 6: So I was s lipping with this dude in this
Speaker 6: apartment that we rent it out together. I thinks just
Speaker 6: get a little messy.
Speaker 2: He had this dog.
Speaker 6: She's a pit bull, so she wasn't taking a dog
Speaker 6: out or anything. And there was fucking shit piles and piss,
Speaker 6: you know, accumulating in the living room. I'm just gonna
Speaker 6: leave and disappear and just leave him with this mess.
Speaker 6: I don't want to.
Speaker 2: Deal with this ship, Okay.
Speaker 3: I mean, I got a couple questions. One is like, okay,
Speaker 3: so his name is is your your name is on
Speaker 3: a lease with this dude?
Speaker 6: I assume no, it's not.
Speaker 3: Okay, So you had this little handshake deal with him,
Speaker 3: and your your your rationale is like, I'm not going
Speaker 3: to pay him this last bit of rent because he
Speaker 3: didn't keep up his end of the deal, which would be,
Speaker 3: you know, an unwritten part of the deal, but an
Speaker 3: implied part of the deal is I'll pay you rent,
Speaker 3: but you have to not cover the apartment in dog piss.
Speaker 3: If you want to hear this full conversation, you can
Speaker 3: sign up to become a premium member at therapy Gecko
Speaker 3: dot supercast dot com, or find a link in the
Speaker 3: episode description that's therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. All right,
Speaker 3: I have nothing else to say.
Speaker 6: Repet goes on the line, taking your phone calls every night.
Speaker 8: Therapy Can goes to on his eye's.
Speaker 3: Teaching you a loud in the meat of your life.
Speaker 3: Money's not ready, an expert