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Speaker 1: Mother fucking mini EVERI SD mini episode, mother fucking mini

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Speaker 1: ever sel.

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Speaker 2: You fucking scoundrel.

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Speaker 3: There's my mont How fucking dare you?

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Speaker 4: The podcast that is not gonna explain this joke? The

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Speaker 4: podcast that dot's deep into the buckets are blacking No

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Speaker 4: way you're supposed to deep into.

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Speaker 2: The buckets of black conspiracy theories.

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Speaker 4: And works to prove the conspiracies of you the listener.

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Speaker 4: My name is David Bory, and.

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Speaker 2: I am I am langston fucking offended Kerman. I am,

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Speaker 2: I am deeply hurt by a motherfucker.

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Speaker 4: Is shaming me.

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Speaker 2: Shame for those who haven't listened to the previous episode

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Speaker 2: or I hope it's now. It has to be a

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Speaker 2: previous episode with Jordan Temple. Uh. I came up with

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Speaker 2: that brilliant intro. I was a source of all of that,

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Speaker 2: and Bory shamed me. He rubbed my nose in it,

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Speaker 2: he said, he said, it's twenty twenty three. We can't

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Speaker 2: joke about Cosby. We can't. We can't laugh at the

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Speaker 2: idea of using one of his intros. And now look

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Speaker 2: at him. We're just fucking wallowing in it.

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Speaker 4: Hey, the lowest fruit is the sweetest baby. I'd like

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Speaker 4: to pick them up off the ground.

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Speaker 2: You're a monster. That's answering that.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, they know how sweet.

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Speaker 2: We should get into our listener email. Today, we have

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Speaker 2: an email from a person named K, although although their

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Speaker 2: actual email is a much more interesting name and doesn't

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Speaker 2: seem at all related to the name K, but K

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Speaker 2: sent us a message from Richmond, Virginia said's up. I'm

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Speaker 2: K from Richmond, Virginia, where I've heard all kinds of

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Speaker 2: old nigga conspiracies and folklore. Most were unproven, but my

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Speaker 2: mama said so and you know how that shit go.

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Speaker 2: But she told me stories like the reason that preachers

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Speaker 2: and pastors of the black church community dressed so fly

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Speaker 2: was because back in the day, moonlighting as a pastor

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Speaker 2: was aployed by pimps to elude law enforcement. Apparently this

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Speaker 2: started in Detroit.

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Speaker 4: I love it. You love this, I love I love

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Speaker 4: everything about it. I think that I think throughout the years,

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Speaker 4: I think that truly the most cinius there are villains

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Speaker 4: have used religion to hide behind and I think that

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Speaker 4: this falls right in line with that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that it just started as pimps being like I'm

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Speaker 2: gonna I'm gonna hide inside of this this sort of

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Speaker 2: like organization, and then that pimp handed his organization down

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Speaker 2: to a boy who was raised by a pimp.

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Speaker 4: Right, did you read Pimp? Did you read it? I didn't.

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Speaker 2: I never read it.

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Speaker 4: It is it's it's like at first, when you start

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Speaker 4: reading it, you start like, man, this is pretty cool,

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Speaker 4: and then at the end you're by the end you're like, no,

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Speaker 4: it ain't easy.

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Speaker 2: I think that was my fear inside of the book,

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Speaker 2: if I'm being completely honest with it with you, it

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Speaker 2: was like I think I was told by my parents

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Speaker 2: that like pimping is is wrong and these people are

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Speaker 2: awful and objectively there's no goodness inside of this decision.

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Speaker 2: And I think that that book felt like it was

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Speaker 2: meant to be like come on, brother, hit me out.

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Speaker 4: No, No, I don't mean it in that way. I

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Speaker 4: mean you ultimately walk away thinking that this is like

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Speaker 4: a bad practice, but it's just like the mental toll

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Speaker 4: and like it's just it's just it's Yeah, I recommend

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Speaker 4: reading it. I haven't read any of his other books,

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Speaker 4: but I remmend reading that one. Yeah, I gotta maybe

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Speaker 4: I gotta give it a chance.

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Speaker 2: Now that I'm old and have at least enough maturity

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Speaker 2: to be like, I know, I know why this is

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Speaker 2: a allegory for for a greater lesson inside of myself.

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Speaker 4: And not just being like fuck ye No, no, it's not.

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Speaker 4: It's not written that way either. It's not it's not

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Speaker 4: written in a way where you're like, oh, these guys

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Speaker 4: are cool. It's just like, by the end of it,

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Speaker 4: you're like, oh, it made me kind of scared of

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Speaker 4: prostitute's like what if she damns.

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Speaker 2: Me, whereas previously with sex workers you're like, no, I'm good.

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Speaker 4: I wasn't afraid of them.

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Speaker 2: No, Well, it sounds like de Kay's larger question, you're

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Speaker 2: bought into the possibility of this being true.

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Speaker 4: I think, yeah, man, you can't convince me that anybody

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Speaker 4: who doesn't make a lot of money and then spend

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Speaker 4: that money on earthly delights is only fucking their life.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I do think that's like the idea

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Speaker 2: of pastors who look so good and dress so good

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Speaker 2: and like drive nice cars.

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Speaker 4: You're like, you're doing that because you're married to Like.

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Speaker 2: That is the crazy part about like those types of

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Speaker 2: positions of power is like I only buy certain clothes

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Speaker 2: and do certain things for the sake of impressing a

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Speaker 2: larger audience, be it women, be it like my friends,

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Speaker 2: whatever the fuck it is. There's no justification for it

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Speaker 2: if my audience is just God, you know what I mean? Like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: you're lying. You You didn't buy that fucking Harmani suit

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Speaker 2: because of God. You bought it because you wanted people

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Speaker 2: to look at you and see you a certain way.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. It's easier for a camel to pass through that

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Speaker 4: I have a you than it is for a Richmond

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Speaker 4: and Er the Kingdom of Heaven. You already know that

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Speaker 4: you didn't think I was gonna bring out scripture today.

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Speaker 4: I didn't, and I'm overwhelmed, truly. I wasn't expecting it

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Speaker 4: at all. Got a lot of different suits in my hand.

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Speaker 2: I kind of feel like I need to bring out

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Speaker 2: my devil.

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Speaker 1: Voice, you know what I mean, because because you're loved

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Speaker 1: all Jesus stuff, so.

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Speaker 4: Motherfucker, you know what I mean. I'm so glad that

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Speaker 4: voice only exists in this space. Like, I'm glad you

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Speaker 4: haven't figured out a way to take that to you

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Speaker 4: to like the Chick fil A line.

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Speaker 2: But you know I will.

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Speaker 4: I worry about it, you.

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Speaker 2: Know, as soon as I get one of those Baine masks.

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Speaker 2: So I'm gonna I'm gonna figure out how to make

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Speaker 2: this permanent, but so for now I am limited.

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Speaker 4: It's good though, Yeah, I totally think this is reasonable.

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Speaker 4: Though this doesn't even sound like as soon as I

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Speaker 4: heard it, I was like, yeah, yeah, that makes I think.

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Speaker 4: The hard thing about it to me is like, if

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Speaker 4: you are a pimp, you're gonna have to where where

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Speaker 4: do you keep the hose? M?

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Speaker 2: Well, I don't even know if they're suggesting that the

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Speaker 2: pastors are the pimps themselves more that they were sort

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Speaker 2: of like it is a adoption of culture that like, these

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Speaker 2: are the most lavish people in our community being the pimps,

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Speaker 2: sort of like moonlighting as this thing, and then subsequently

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Speaker 2: the rest of us have all become or rather other

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Speaker 2: pastors have all become equally sort of flashy and gaudy

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Speaker 2: in their appearance.

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Speaker 4: Oh okay, I get that makes sense because they both

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Speaker 4: talk great rhyme. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I don't think they're saying every pastor is a pimp

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Speaker 2: as much as they're saying every pastor dresses like a

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Speaker 2: pimp because pimps used to fuck around in churches.

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Speaker 4: Okay, I get that makes more sense to me. That

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Speaker 4: makes more sense because like the whole pimp thing, to me,

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Speaker 4: I feel like I have a bad history of pimping,

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Speaker 4: and so I think I view it different.

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Speaker 2: I need to talk about this bad history. I'm gonna

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Speaker 2: need you to expound a little bit on your bad history,

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Speaker 2: because I'd be lying if I said I had much

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Speaker 2: history at all with pimping, and you seem to have. No,

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Speaker 2: it's not a few hijinks you could run off real quick.

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Speaker 4: So it was these two dudes and one of them

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Speaker 4: work one of them work at a Chinese food restaurant,

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Speaker 4: and the other was a rapper, and they they would

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Speaker 4: talk like if you were at a party or some shit.

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Speaker 4: They would talk all that shit about Pippen. Ultimately, they

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Speaker 4: they only had one girl her I'm not gonna say whoa,

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Speaker 4: I'm not gonna say her name was, but she had

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Speaker 4: hepsied No, and these were like dirty dudes, like, like

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Speaker 4: I said, one of them worked at a Chinese food restaurant,

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Speaker 4: Like they were dirty ass dudes. And those are the

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Speaker 4: only guys I ever knew who were pimping. So I

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Speaker 4: was always like Pippin like no the name, but yeah,

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Speaker 4: I was I was like, pipping what they do? Those

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Speaker 4: are like they're like that dirty, like these dudes, this

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Speaker 4: is losing tall cans. Yeah, they drink. They don't buy

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Speaker 4: twelve packs, they drink tall cans. Fuck yeah. So I

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Speaker 4: was always like, I always kind of saw it as

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Speaker 4: like and that was when I was like seventeen something

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Speaker 4: like that, so I always saw it as really seen.

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Speaker 4: I never I never, like from the first pimps I

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Speaker 4: ever met, which technically you can call him that, but

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Speaker 4: I was just yeah, I was always just.

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Speaker 2: Like like, but even to the n to that point,

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Speaker 2: even that is not not something I don't feel in

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Speaker 2: certain churches, do you know what I mean? Where like

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Speaker 2: there is a almost like absurdly level sinister wanting of

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Speaker 2: my money and my commitment in a way that that

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Speaker 2: feels pimpish, you.

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Speaker 3: Know what I mean?

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Speaker 2: Or it's certainly like the dirty pimping that you're talking about.

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Speaker 4: I mean, but part of it is like because as

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Speaker 4: a I hate talking about comedy and any other aspect,

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Speaker 4: but as a stand up comic, I think we're all

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Speaker 4: personalities who are very inclined, very inclined to be overly

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Speaker 4: protective of their own time, even even even if they're

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Speaker 4: not doing anything with it. So I feel like maybe

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Speaker 4: you're more sense because I don't when I go to

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Speaker 4: a I haven't been a church in years. Whenever I've

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Speaker 4: been to a church, I've never felt like it was

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Speaker 4: that that sedy of them wanting my time. No, I don't.

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Speaker 4: I don't know that.

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Speaker 2: I mean that about every church. I'm saying that I

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Speaker 2: have been to specific churches that made me feel that way,

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Speaker 2: and maybe that is a product of this sort of

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Speaker 2: you know what, I've never been to one where like

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Speaker 2: or rather, those sedious ones are not the ones where

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Speaker 2: the pastor is actually fly. It's just a pastor in

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Speaker 2: what he thinks is fly, because they're like weird, like

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Speaker 2: fucking you know, hole in the wall type situations where

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Speaker 2: he's just taking advantage of like forty eight people, right, he's.

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Speaker 4: A donut shop and it's like, yeah, somehow the building

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Speaker 4: fund never gets a new building.

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Speaker 2: He's just sucking these eighty six people fucking dry, you

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Speaker 2: know what I mean.

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Speaker 4: I do know what you mean about that. I have

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Speaker 4: seen that that time. Well, I think the dynamic of

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Speaker 4: a church and a congregation and a pastor is that

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Speaker 4: of a pip and hole. I see what you're saying

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Speaker 4: where it's like maybe this guy isn't actually selling prostitutes

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Speaker 4: or whatever, but he's pimping like this whole things, like

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Speaker 4: deriving all his power and resource from this group of

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Speaker 4: people while telling them that he's like managing their lives.

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Speaker 4: I guess that is very It is a similar structure.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and it makes you feel like if you don't

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Speaker 2: still have this this person and this uh, this community

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Speaker 2: in your life, that you are becoming worse, that you

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Speaker 2: are less than. It is a very uh you know,

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Speaker 2: it's it's a toxic relationship.

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Speaker 4: You also feel like this guy saved you. Yeah, you

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Speaker 4: weren't shipped before him.

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Speaker 2: But even worse, he's the middle manager of the guy

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Speaker 2: who saved you. I mean, like you can't if you

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Speaker 2: want to even meet the boss, you gotta keep hanging

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Speaker 2: out with this dude, even though he ain't the fucking dude.

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Speaker 4: You want to set up the comedy store a little.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's it's not not fucking weird sort of pimp

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Speaker 2: like behavior. That said, if it's if it's a community

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Speaker 2: that you need and you can lean on, there's nothing

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Speaker 2: wrong with it. I think that sometimes there's also where

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Speaker 2: we can flate. It is what makes the pimp wrong, right,

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Speaker 2: is that at the end of the day, what I

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Speaker 2: need is the community.

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Speaker 4: What the the the.

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Speaker 2: Sex worker may need very well may exist without this

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Speaker 2: other person at the top of the food chain quote

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Speaker 2: unquote protecting them and like you could still just find

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Speaker 2: your needs in whatever version you need without a pimp

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Speaker 2: sort of like dictating it.

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Speaker 4: I mean, what we all need is love. But hell yeah,

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Speaker 4: like that, now you're gonna hit me with the voice box.

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Speaker 4: I think that's the thing about any kind of leader

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Speaker 4: in general. It's any kind of leader general, right, like

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Speaker 4: the powers. So it's so easy to be corrupted. So

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Speaker 4: it's like I think it's like just you gotta stay

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Speaker 4: vigilant to that type of thing. But to the overall

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Speaker 4: idea of this, this conspiracy, I'm totally with it. Of

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Speaker 4: course that could happen.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, I think we're both in agreement. This seems

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Speaker 2: pretty legitimate. And you know, stop treating it like a conspiracy.

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Speaker 2: You go ahead and you tell it to your co

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Speaker 2: workers like a fact.

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Speaker 4: Now, tell them, tell them, David Centure.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and you ain't got to hide this no more,

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Speaker 2: you know what I mean, You ain't got to sit

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Speaker 2: this under your chair and be like, I wonder if

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Speaker 2: other people think this? You You scream it from the mountaintops.

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Speaker 4: You talk to two proven scholars and they told you

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Speaker 4: what's up.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you find yourself in a room with Cornell West,

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Speaker 2: tell them you know some stuff too, you know.

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Speaker 4: Hey, you're not the only one in here, and then

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Speaker 4: flick your toothpick at them.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, fuck you Goring. Now this is what you'll say. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I'm a fan, but yeah, I don't know. You're being

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Speaker 2: so mean to Cortnel West, but that's how you are,

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Speaker 2: and you know that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I always felt like he'd be fun at a party

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Speaker 4: corn out West. Yeah, like if you are at Spike

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Speaker 4: Lee's house, everybody would be all serious and then he'd

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Speaker 4: be like talking about basketball or something.

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Speaker 2: I'll be honest with you. He's always hit me as

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Speaker 2: somebody who doesn't read nearly as much as he pretends to.

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Speaker 4: That's what I like about it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and so I think I think he's read a

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Speaker 2: few books. Well you know what I mean, Like he

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Speaker 2: read the fuck out of the books that he's read,

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Speaker 2: but that motherfucker ain't reading every day.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I like you. I like you me too. Mister West,

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Speaker 4: me too. You'd be surprised how far nobody asks you

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Speaker 4: if you've read another Bell Hooks book, if you've read

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Speaker 4: All about Love, Yeah, and if you've read all about

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Speaker 4: Love and we real cool, no one will ever ask

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Speaker 4: you you think I read a third one. No, those

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Speaker 4: two took me three years to get. They're fucking dense.

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Speaker 2: You just as symbol like ten references from ten different books,

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Speaker 2: and suddenly we're all scholars.

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Speaker 1: Baby.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you just have to say. You have to say

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Speaker 4: things like see that reminds me of that Bell Hooks quote.

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Speaker 2: And suddenly you're the foremost scholar on Bell Hooks.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I remember I was reading a Layton Brown's book. You

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Speaker 4: know what I remember about that book. There was a

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Speaker 4: guy named Bunchie Carter. That's what I remember because it

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Speaker 4: was a cool name. And so I'm like, yeah, damn,

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Speaker 4: David read guys so smart. Yeah, I Cornell West does

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Speaker 4: seem like a good time. Not for the reasons that

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Speaker 4: he's trying to trick us.

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Speaker 2: Into thinking he's a good time, but I bet he

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Speaker 2: does seem like a good time. Yeah, he seems fun. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: all right, Well, okay, I hope this answers your question

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Speaker 2: about both these suits and Cornell West Bory. Could you

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Speaker 2: tell the people where they can find you and what

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Speaker 2: cool shit you have going?

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Speaker 4: Cool guy jokes eighty seven on Instagram June eighth teenth.

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Speaker 4: I am going to be headlining the DC Improv with

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Speaker 4: my man Jamel Johnson. Come to that June eighteenth, and

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Speaker 4: then I'm getting together a late summer early fall tour,

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Speaker 4: So those dates are coming post haste.

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Speaker 2: Hell yeah, and you can find me at Langston Kerman

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Speaker 2: on Instagram. And of course if you live in West Jordan,

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Speaker 2: Utah and you want to come to the Wise Guys,

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Speaker 2: come June twenty third to the twenty fourth. If you

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Speaker 2: live in Philly, fuck with me at the Punchline July

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Speaker 2: sixth through the eighth. And then if you live in Wilmington,

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Speaker 2: North Carolina, or anywhere in North Carolina, what you got

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Speaker 2: going on? Drive to Wilmington. You can see me at

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Speaker 2: Dead Crow July twenty eight through the twenty ninth. And

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Speaker 2: as always, you can follow the pod you should like

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Speaker 2: and subscribe to our YouTube page. We would love to

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Speaker 2: really hammer that boy all the way home. Fill it up,

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Speaker 2: fill us to the brim with your love and your subscriptions.

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Speaker 2: And as always, if you want to send us your

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Speaker 2: own conspiracy theories, your own drops, if you want to

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Speaker 2: tell us why women is pimps, to send it to

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Speaker 2: mymama Poe at gmail dot com. We would love to

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Speaker 2: hear from you.

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Speaker 4: Bye, bitch.

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Speaker 3: Well, I think I'm looking forward to cracking up.

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Speaker 2: I hope I can, like you, totally crack up, so

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Speaker 2: I haven't like totally cracked up in a long time.

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Speaker 1: Well, the fucking Mini your soul MANI ever so well,

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Speaker 1: the fucking Mini ever Sel, Well, the fucking Mini Eresol

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Speaker 1: Mini everis, motherfucking Mini ever Sol