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Speaker 1: Hi guys, and welcome to a new episode of Couch

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Speaker 1: Talks on You Need Therapy Podcast. My name is Kat,

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Speaker 1: and if you are wondering what couch Talks is, it

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Speaker 1: is the special bonus episode of You Need Therapy where

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Speaker 1: I answer questions that you guys send to me and

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Speaker 1: you can send those to Catherine at You Need Therapy

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Speaker 1: podcast dot com. And quick reminder before we get started

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Speaker 1: that although I'm answering your questions and I'm a therapist,

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Speaker 1: this podcast does not serve as a replacement or substitute

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Speaker 1: for actual mental health services. But I sure hope it

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Speaker 1: helps on whatever journey you're on. So I realized this

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Speaker 1: week recently at some point that I have not given

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Speaker 1: you guys a Harry Potter update in a while. And

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Speaker 1: if you are wondering, Kat, why would you be doing that,

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Speaker 1: It's because the past couple of months I've been on

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Speaker 1: a Hairy Potter journey. It is a part of my

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Speaker 1: own personal life that I don't mind sharing with you

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Speaker 1: guys on the podcast. And I watched the movies for

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Speaker 1: the first time over Christmas break and I think kind

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Speaker 1: of like all of last year, and now I'm reading

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Speaker 1: the books for the first time or listening to them.

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Speaker 1: And I finished the fourth book, which is The Goblet

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Speaker 1: of Fire. It was so long. It was twice as

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Speaker 1: long as all of the other books, so it took

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Speaker 1: a lot longer. It was so good, though, and I'm

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Speaker 1: understanding more and more and more how much information you

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Speaker 1: don't get in the movies, which is crazy. It really

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Speaker 1: is crazy, how much extra information, how helpful, and how

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Speaker 1: much more things make sense. So of course I'm watching

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Speaker 1: the movies again after I read each book. I fell

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Speaker 1: asleep this weekend watching The Goblet of Fires. So we're

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Speaker 1: gonna try that again this week and hopefully it goes

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Speaker 1: a little bit better. I'm sure it will. I'm very

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Speaker 1: excited to get into this movie because guys, I read

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Speaker 1: the book after I watched the movie, and I still

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Speaker 1: was surprised at what happened. Like I was talking to Patrick,

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Speaker 1: my boyfriend, about one part in the book, and I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh my gosh, can you believe this part,

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Speaker 1: like predicting what was going to happen? And he must

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Speaker 1: have been laughing so hard inside of his head because

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Speaker 1: he was like, you haven't. Okay, Yeah, I'm just gonna

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Speaker 1: let you think that. And then there was a huge twist,

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Speaker 1: and I did not remember it happening. I think it's

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Speaker 1: part of the details. You just get more detail. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: I'm going on about this and most of you guys

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Speaker 1: don't care, so I'm gonna move on. But I just

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Speaker 1: wanted to give the few of you that do care

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Speaker 1: a little update. And my goal is that if I

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Speaker 1: can finish all of this before, hopefully in the next

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Speaker 1: couple of months, maybe before summer's over, I can convince

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Speaker 1: my boyfriend to take me on a trip to Harry

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Speaker 1: Potter World, because that would just be so much fun. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: another update for you guys. A couple of weeks ago,

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Speaker 1: I can't remember if it was last week or the

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Speaker 1: week before, I had shared with you guys a story

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Speaker 1: about an experience I had at the doctor's office asking

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Speaker 1: for my weight to be taken blindly, and it was

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Speaker 1: really disappointing. I basically was treated with no empathy or

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Speaker 1: kind of respect in that area. It was very uncomfortable,

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Speaker 1: and the nursers made a comment that I didn't appreciate,

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Speaker 1: and I just wanted to say thank you, guys. I

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Speaker 1: got a lot of really nice messages and emails about

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Speaker 1: one just like how sorry, you guys were that I

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Speaker 1: had that experience. So I appreciate you guys showing that

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Speaker 1: compassion to me. And I got one email in particular

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Speaker 1: that I wanted to read because I just feel like

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Speaker 1: when I was getting your messages, I wanted to make

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Speaker 1: sure that I was sending the right message. That I

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Speaker 1: really shared that story not to scare people of like

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Speaker 1: horror stories of what can happen if you ask for

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Speaker 1: what you need at the doctor's office. I told that

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Speaker 1: story as a means of encouragement because there's one thing

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Speaker 1: I could have done is never asked for what I

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Speaker 1: needed and then never known if I could get what

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Speaker 1: I needed in that office. But the other thing is

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Speaker 1: I asked for what I needed and I wasn't met

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Speaker 1: with what I was looking for. And instead of that

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Speaker 1: being the like kind of like jail cell of well,

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Speaker 1: now you're stuck here and you had this experience and

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Speaker 1: shame on you for asking for what you needed, it

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Speaker 1: was motivation for me to find a doctor in a

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Speaker 1: doctor's office that could offer me the compassion that I

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Speaker 1: was looking for and the understanding in the area that

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Speaker 1: I was looking for. And just for y'all's own minds,

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Speaker 1: I then very soon after that, schedule an appointment with

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Speaker 1: another doctor and went last week and had an amazing experience.

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Speaker 1: It was actually a really funny experience because of a

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Speaker 1: lot of reasons, but it was an amazing experience. I

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Speaker 1: went to this new doctor at the office. The doctor's

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Speaker 1: office felt like a cafe. I want to go back

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Speaker 1: and read a book in there. It was wonderful, and

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Speaker 1: so it really made possible something that wasn't possible at

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Speaker 1: the other doctor's office. So I really shared that as

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Speaker 1: a means of inspiration. But I wanted to read this

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Speaker 1: email because I just thought it was one. It was

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Speaker 1: I felt so appreciated by getting this and you guys

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Speaker 1: carrying this much, but I just think it would be

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Speaker 1: helpful information. And so this says, after listening to your

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Speaker 1: podcast about the mistreatment you received at your doctor's office,

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Speaker 1: I had to email you. I am in medical administration

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Speaker 1: and what the nurse did is actually against medical practice regulations.

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Speaker 1: I first want to say how sorry I am that

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Speaker 1: you were treated that way, and I'm happy you went

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Speaker 1: to a new doctor. I also want to encourage you

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Speaker 1: to email that practice and tell them what was done

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Speaker 1: and said. If someone else encourages this type of treatment

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Speaker 1: and goes to Medicare or Medicaid or another entrance provider,

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Speaker 1: they could potentially lose their contracts. A lot of times

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Speaker 1: this happens and the office managers and the actual doctors

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Speaker 1: don't know this type of treatment is happening. So, just

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Speaker 1: like your encouragement to the patients to talk to the

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Speaker 1: mental health providers, I'm encouraging you to do the same.

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Speaker 1: It's important that the providers and managers of that office

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Speaker 1: actually know what's happening in their offices. I am sure

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Speaker 1: the opinion of the nurse is not the opinion of

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Speaker 1: the office. Thank you for your podcast, and thanks so

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Speaker 1: much for giving us windows into your life, and so yeah,

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Speaker 1: I wanted to share that because that's true. I don't

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Speaker 1: know that that nurse is a representation of that whole office.

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Speaker 1: I had been going to that office since I was

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Speaker 1: eight years old, and so if I can't be true,

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Speaker 1: else I would have left a long time ago, and

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Speaker 1: I didn't have that experience with other practitioners. I actually,

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Speaker 1: in the end, just really needed to find a doctor's

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Speaker 1: office that fit my needs as a whole better and

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Speaker 1: was closer to my house because I was driving forty

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Speaker 1: minutes to go to the doctor's office that I went

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Speaker 1: to as a child. So my plan of action is

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Speaker 1: to message them and let them know, just not in

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Speaker 1: a way to get somebody in trouble. I probably won't

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Speaker 1: even share names, but I just want to share information

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Speaker 1: that can help them better serve people in a kind way.

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Speaker 1: And there is a way to give feedback without being mean.

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Speaker 1: Say what you mean, don't say it mean, And so

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Speaker 1: I planned to do that just in the spirit of

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Speaker 1: helping others, not hurting other people. And so thank you

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Speaker 1: so much for that email. I didn't know that. I

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Speaker 1: just thought that she was rude. I didn't know that

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Speaker 1: it was against the medical practice regulations. So that was

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Speaker 1: helpful information and made me feel a little bit more

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Speaker 1: not that I needed to, but like more rooted. And

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Speaker 1: oh this was not right. I didn't like this. So again,

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Speaker 1: thank you guys for all of your kind thoughts and

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Speaker 1: messages and meant a lot. And speaking of doctor's offices,

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Speaker 1: I received an email about medical office etiquette that I

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Speaker 1: thought was really interesting in something that I'm sure so

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Speaker 1: many people have wandered. So I want to read this email,

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Speaker 1: and then I want to talk about my thoughts and

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Speaker 1: see where it takes us. So here is the email.

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Speaker 1: Hey Kat, I'm a stay at home mom to my

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Speaker 1: three year old son, and while I was sitting in

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Speaker 1: the waiting room at speech therapy a couple of weeks ago,

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Speaker 1: I overheard another mom talking to the receptionist about her

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Speaker 1: daughter's apraxia appointment. Her daughter was there too, and she

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Speaker 1: looked to be about the same age as my son.

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Speaker 1: I'm so interested in trying to connect with this family.

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Speaker 1: I think it would be great for my son to

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Speaker 1: be around other kids with apraxia of speech, and it

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Speaker 1: would also be awesome to be around another parent who

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Speaker 1: knows some of the challenges of apraxia. Their appointment is

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Speaker 1: right after ours, so we aren't in the waiting room

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Speaker 1: together hardly at all. In fact, she accidentally came to

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Speaker 1: our appointment the day I overheard her talking about her

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Speaker 1: daughter having apraxia. I'm writing because I don't know how

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Speaker 1: to connect with someone in a medical setting. Is it

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Speaker 1: appropriate or are there appropriate ways to do so? Thank

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Speaker 1: you so much for reading this email. I love this

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Speaker 1: question mostly because this has to be something that other

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Speaker 1: people think about. Because the rules aren't clear from a

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Speaker 1: medical provider or any provider of any health services. The

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Speaker 1: rules are pretty clear, like we cannot share information about

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Speaker 1: our clients with anybody else like confidentiality one hundred. But

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Speaker 1: in the waiting room with other people, you guys don't

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Speaker 1: have to sign a lot of the same contracts and

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Speaker 1: abide with a lot of the same ethical standards. Although

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Speaker 1: there is etiquette that might be in different offices. Also,

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Speaker 1: outside of rules, there's personal preferences. So I will say

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Speaker 1: from my perspective in the therapy setting, I don't know

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Speaker 1: that the waiting room is the place to meet your friends.

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Speaker 1: I have had a personal experience from when I was

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Speaker 1: in college and I was seeing a therapist. Actually, I

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Speaker 1: was in grad school and I was seeing a therapist

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Speaker 1: in Nashville, and every week the same guy was in

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Speaker 1: the waiting room at the same time as me. We

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Speaker 1: appointments at the same time with different therapists in the

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Speaker 1: same office, and every week he would talk to me,

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Speaker 1: and I did not want to talk to him. I

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Speaker 1: felt very uncomfortable and it just seemed like he ignored

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Speaker 1: all of the social cues like me looking down, me

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Speaker 1: sitting far away, me answering in short responses, and I

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Speaker 1: felt really trapped. So eventually I changed my time and

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Speaker 1: just started going at a different time so I wouldn't

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Speaker 1: be in the waiting room at the same time as him,

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Speaker 1: And so that's not the space that I really wanted

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Speaker 1: to chit chat. You know, therapy, depending on why or

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Speaker 1: when you're going, it can be something that's really personal

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Speaker 1: and maybe you're struggling with a lot of things, you

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Speaker 1: don't feel chatty, or you just want to be alone.

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Speaker 1: I just wanted to be alone. And so that's one

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Speaker 1: thing that I would just encourage people to think about,

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Speaker 1: is your mindset going into those appointments might be different

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Speaker 1: than the people around you. You really have no idea

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Speaker 1: what's really going on, and that can be a very

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Speaker 1: vulnerable time. And so to keep that in mind. Now

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Speaker 1: this sounds like a different situation. I don't want you

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Speaker 1: to hear me saying that, being like, Oh, don't be inconsiderate, Like,

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Speaker 1: I can't believe that you would want to bother this person.

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Speaker 1: Like I think the therapy office can be different than

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Speaker 1: different medical offices, although they can also be the same.

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Speaker 1: But I think it's really really important to first and

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Speaker 1: foremost respect the space that anyone is in in any setting,

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Speaker 1: especially when it's a setting that involves confidentiality, maybe some

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Speaker 1: sensitive information or some sensitive appointments, to really keep that

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Speaker 1: in mind first and foremost. And again, you never know

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Speaker 1: what somebody is feeling in those times, and so chit

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Speaker 1: chatting and connecting with somebody could be the last thing

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Speaker 1: somebody wants to do in those kinds of offices, even

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Speaker 1: though it might not be against the rules to talk

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Speaker 1: to somebody in the waiting room. So I would just

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Speaker 1: really encourage anybody to pay attention to the social cues.

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Speaker 1: There aren't necessarily rules against speaking to somebody in those

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Speaker 1: public waiting rooms. But I will say nobody can give

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Speaker 1: out personal information about a client or a patient in

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Speaker 1: a medical setting except the person herself. So I could

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Speaker 1: never tell you somebody's name their phone number, like talk

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Speaker 1: to them for you. I cannot pass information from client

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Speaker 1: to client in those settings because I have to remain

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Speaker 1: in line with my confidentiality guidelines. Even with their permission.

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Speaker 1: It gets a little iffy if they're like, hey, can

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Speaker 1: you give your client my email? I kind of want

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Speaker 1: to hang out with them, Like it just gets wishy washy.

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Speaker 1: I would never do that, and I would just say

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Speaker 1: like kind of steer clear. I asked one of my

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Speaker 1: friends who was in the medical who's in medical school,

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Speaker 1: her thoughts on this, because I wanted to hear from

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Speaker 1: like a more medical office standpoint what she thought. And

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Speaker 1: she said something interesting, and she said, you know, it's

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Speaker 1: kind of like how on airplane, some people want to

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Speaker 1: talk and some people don't, but there's no rules saying

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Speaker 1: that you can't talk on an airplane. So again, you

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Speaker 1: want to air on the side of caution in that

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Speaker 1: of you don't know if somebody is needing to work

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Speaker 1: or wants to read, or so be very open minded

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Speaker 1: that somebody's idea of a fun airplane ride might not

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Speaker 1: be the same as yours. So I thought that was

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Speaker 1: a good perspective and something to keep in mind. Now,

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Speaker 1: the information said in any office like that is private

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Speaker 1: health information, so you're not really supposed to hear a

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Speaker 1: lot of that information in the waiting room. For example,

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Speaker 1: I personally won't even say my client's names in the

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Speaker 1: waiting room. If I'm going out to go get a

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Speaker 1: new client, I'll say, are you here for Catherine versus

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Speaker 1: Kelsey whoever's name, Although I do know that happens all

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Speaker 1: the time in doctor's offices. I just like to again

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Speaker 1: air on the side of caution because it can be

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Speaker 1: a violation of somebody's privacy if I'm yelling their name

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Speaker 1: out in a room full of people and they don't

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Speaker 1: want to be identified in that way. The reason I

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Speaker 1: say all of this, and the reason I'm kind of

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Speaker 1: giving you this long winded answer, is because it could

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Speaker 1: feel invasive for the mom to know that you heard

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Speaker 1: her diagnosis, her child's diagnosis when she was talking to

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Speaker 1: the receptionists. It might feel like her privacy was invaded.

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Speaker 1: It's not something that we need to be embarrassed about,

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Speaker 1: like whether you go to therapy or what diagnosis you have.

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Speaker 1: It's just something that we get to be in charge

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Speaker 1: of sharing. So if you find out about something not

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Speaker 1: by her sharing it directly with you, you just want

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Speaker 1: to be very respectful of that because that's really not

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Speaker 1: supposed to happen in this kind of setting and you

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Speaker 1: kind of heard on accident. Again, she might not care,

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Speaker 1: but again, are on the side of caution. So that's

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Speaker 1: all a long winded way to say, be very respectful

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Speaker 1: of people's space, their private information, and the place they

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Speaker 1: might be in both physically and emotionally in those settings.

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Speaker 1: Those are very sensitive settings, even if it might not

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Speaker 1: feel that big a deal to you. I know that

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Speaker 1: a lot of people don't care that they go to therapy.

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Speaker 1: They would tell anybody, they would chat with anybody about

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Speaker 1: whatever they're working on, and there are some people that

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Speaker 1: just want to keep it private. And because it can

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Speaker 1: be so different across the spectrum, I like to treat

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Speaker 1: people with the most care, with the most caution, with

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Speaker 1: the most privacy, just in case you could hurt somebody,

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Speaker 1: or somebody could feel uncomfortable or just again, their privacy

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Speaker 1: was violated or their space was violated. So air on

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Speaker 1: that side of caution, use a lot of social cues.

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Speaker 1: She might not care and it might not be a

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Speaker 1: big of a deal, but this is one of those

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Speaker 1: situations where is the risk worth it. I'm not sure.

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Speaker 1: But what you can do, because the desire that you

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Speaker 1: have is very pure, what you can do is ask

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Speaker 1: your doctor for support groups and resources. There has to

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Speaker 1: be things like that around, and your doctor is going

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Speaker 1: to be the first person to go to that can

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Speaker 1: guide you to either give you that information or guide

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Speaker 1: you to where you can find so they're bound to

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Speaker 1: have that information, and that's a easy and safe way

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Speaker 1: that you can connect with people who are dealing with

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Speaker 1: the same thing that you're dealing with. And everybody's given

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Speaker 1: their own consent, you don't have to worry about that.

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Speaker 1: So again, it might not be a big deal to her.

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Speaker 1: Be very mindful of people's mindsets, their emotions, their information

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Speaker 1: in general in those settings. And just because you wouldn't care,

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Speaker 1: we have to remember that people like to be treated differently.

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Speaker 1: And while it's not our responsibility to make sure that

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Speaker 1: we're treating everybody perfectly when we are in sensitive settings,

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Speaker 1: we can treat those settings with sensitivity. So definitely ask

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Speaker 1: for those support groups. I think there is probably so

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Speaker 1: much power in attending one of those and getting involved

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Speaker 1: in one of those. And I want to say again,

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Speaker 1: your desire, I think is very pure, and anybody's desire

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Speaker 1: is very pure. I think even people who are going

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Speaker 1: to therapy who are like I just you know, we're

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Speaker 1: both going to therapy. It might be cool while we're

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Speaker 1: at the same appointment at the same time every week,

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Speaker 1: pure intentions, and you never know what somebody is walking

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Speaker 1: into those doors waiting to talk about, and they might

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Speaker 1: be in a space where they just want to be

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Speaker 1: alone in that moment. So there you have it. I

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Speaker 1: hope that was helpful, and if anybody has any feedback

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Speaker 1: on that question, I think that is something that might

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Speaker 1: be really helpful to hear other people's perspective. I give

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Speaker 1: a little bit of mine, my own therapy experience, but

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Speaker 1: if you guys have other ways that this mom can

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Speaker 1: connect with people, other resources, specifically with what she is

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Speaker 1: dealing with with her own child and what she's wanting,

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Speaker 1: please send them my way and I can send them

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Speaker 1: to this listener to help her get the connection she's

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Speaker 1: looking for. And if anybody has experiences of either being

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Speaker 1: approached or approaching somebody in one of those settings, that

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Speaker 1: would also be helpful. So let's create some community in

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Speaker 1: this community and let me know your thoughts and feedback

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Speaker 1: with anything else. Also, you can email me Catherine at

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Speaker 1: you Need Therapy Podcast with any other questions feedback you

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Speaker 1: have in general, if you want to encourage me on

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Speaker 1: my Harry Potter journey, I would love that, and that's

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Speaker 1: going to do it. I hope you guys are having

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Speaker 1: the day you need to have and I will be

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Speaker 1: back with you on Monday. We are going to take

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Speaker 1: a little bitty break from our series or four Horsemen series,

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Speaker 1: and I have a fun episode with some guests which

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Speaker 1: we haven't had in a while that I want to

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Speaker 1: share with you all, so stay tuned for that. I

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Speaker 1: will be with you on Monday. Until then, have all

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Speaker 1: the things that you need to have days, months, hours, seconds, moments, feelings,

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Speaker 1: and I will talk to you soon