WEBVTT - Chelsea Handler 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:02.120 Oh my god, it's so nice to see you. How's 0:00:02.200 --> 0:00:05.880 Matt May. It's great. She's in Albuquerque right now visiting 0:00:05.920 --> 0:00:09.280 Michael while he's filming back in Albuquerque. She's got some 0:00:09.360 --> 0:00:13.080 comma with New Mexico. Huh oh Albuquerque. Oh my god. 0:00:13.119 --> 0:00:16.000 Once I went to visit her in Albuquerque, and then 0:00:16.000 --> 0:00:19.200 I was on my show and I started just ripping 0:00:19.239 --> 0:00:23.360 Albuquerque to shreds. I was like a big lot of 0:00:23.720 --> 0:00:28.639 mistake dirt, and Albuquerque went nuts. She had to do 0:00:28.760 --> 0:00:32.959 like three days of radio local radio and Albuquerque to apologize, 0:00:33.240 --> 0:00:35.720 and she's like, you need to issue a formal apology 0:00:36.159 --> 0:00:38.840 and I will do no such thing. Oh my god, 0:00:39.000 --> 0:00:43.000 Albuquerque tried to cancel you. I know, I know. Now 0:00:43.040 --> 0:00:45.320 we love Albuquaque. Let's get it on the record that 0:00:45.400 --> 0:00:47.960 we love in Albuquerque. I'm sure I'm performing there shortly, 0:00:48.159 --> 0:00:52.599 so i'll address it in person. You guys. Hello, I'm 0:00:52.680 --> 0:00:56.760 Mini Driver and welcome to many questions. I've always loved 0:00:56.920 --> 0:01:00.480 priest question nat. It was originally an eighteenth century harlighame 0:01:00.720 --> 0:01:03.960 meant to reveal an individual's true nature, but with so 0:01:04.040 --> 0:01:07.640 many questions, there wasn't really an opportunity to expand on anything. 0:01:08.120 --> 0:01:11.120 So I took the format of Proof's questionnaire and adapted 0:01:11.160 --> 0:01:13.840 what I think are seven of the most important questions 0:01:13.880 --> 0:01:17.800 you could ever ask someone they are when and where 0:01:17.840 --> 0:01:21.640 were you happiest? What is the quality you like least 0:01:21.680 --> 0:01:27.119 about yourself? What relationship, real or fictionalized, defines love for you? 0:01:28.360 --> 0:01:32.800 What question would you most like answered, What person, place, 0:01:33.000 --> 0:01:37.039 or experience has shaped you the most? What would be 0:01:37.080 --> 0:01:40.880 your last meal? And can you tell me something in 0:01:40.959 --> 0:01:43.920 your life that has grown out of a personal disaster. 0:01:45.040 --> 0:01:47.640 The more people we ask, the more we begin to 0:01:47.680 --> 0:01:50.680 see what makes us similar and what makes us individual. 0:01:51.960 --> 0:01:54.720 I've gathered a group of really remarkable people who I 0:01:54.760 --> 0:01:56.920 am honored and humbled to have had a chance to 0:01:56.960 --> 0:02:02.760 engage with. My guest today is Chelsea Handler, an unfiltered 0:02:02.880 --> 0:02:06.360 voice in a world that feels like it's sometimes garing 0:02:06.360 --> 0:02:10.240 more vanilla for fear of councel culture. Chelsea is a 0:02:10.320 --> 0:02:13.040 true advocate of women in politics, and I've been to 0:02:13.080 --> 0:02:15.760 several events that she's hosted where I was given the 0:02:15.800 --> 0:02:19.519 opportunity to be educated and also be part of advocacy 0:02:19.639 --> 0:02:25.040 that is really affecting change. She is tireless and sometimes caustic, 0:02:25.600 --> 0:02:29.480 but she is unapologetically connected to who she is and 0:02:29.560 --> 0:02:32.080 what she believes, and I really love her for that. 0:02:37.600 --> 0:02:40.760 I'm gonna start this off with when and where were 0:02:40.800 --> 0:02:48.520 you happiest? Chelsea? When and where was the happiest? I 0:02:48.560 --> 0:02:55.240 think on stage I would have been the happiest. Probably 0:02:55.520 --> 0:02:59.440 at Radio City Music Hall. I sold out four shows, 0:03:00.200 --> 0:03:03.440 and I remember the two shows going by so quickly 0:03:03.440 --> 0:03:05.440 that I didn't even remember what happened. And at the 0:03:05.520 --> 0:03:08.200 end of the night, my sister said, did you experience 0:03:08.240 --> 0:03:10.840 that tonight? And I had so many people there, like 0:03:10.919 --> 0:03:14.960 my family, friends, relatives, and I did it. And she's like, 0:03:15.040 --> 0:03:17.120 make sure tomorrow night you soak it in like you're 0:03:17.160 --> 0:03:19.080 at Radio City Music Hall, like this is a dream 0:03:19.080 --> 0:03:21.600 come true, and make sure you don't miss that moment. 0:03:22.040 --> 0:03:25.080 And then the next night I got on stage, and 0:03:25.280 --> 0:03:27.400 I have a habit of like, you know, oh stop 0:03:27.440 --> 0:03:30.080 stop me while i'm you know, I'm they're performing for 0:03:30.120 --> 0:03:31.799 all the people who have paid to seeing me, and 0:03:31.800 --> 0:03:35.160 I'm like, what me, Like it's so stupid, But I 0:03:35.200 --> 0:03:37.640 always like to stop applause, like if it becomes too much, 0:03:37.680 --> 0:03:40.520 I get embarrassed, right, I can't take a compliment in 0:03:40.560 --> 0:03:43.760 that way. And I went out on stage in my 0:03:43.800 --> 0:03:46.520 first show, and I just let the applause keep going 0:03:46.560 --> 0:03:48.800 and going and going because people were so excited to 0:03:48.840 --> 0:03:52.200 be there and all my fans were there, and I 0:03:52.240 --> 0:03:55.520 just soaked it in and I remember feeling such joy 0:03:55.600 --> 0:03:57.840 that I almost started to cry. And I was like, Okay, 0:03:57.840 --> 0:03:59.560 now you have to be funny, so fucking get your 0:03:59.560 --> 0:04:01.960 ship to others. Love it. But it was a really 0:04:02.480 --> 0:04:05.760 happy moment because my sister told me to do it. Also, 0:04:06.280 --> 0:04:10.400 it's good when sisters remind you to be present. I mean, God, 0:04:10.760 --> 0:04:13.720 Radio City Music Hall is it's like the Albert Hall. 0:04:13.960 --> 0:04:18.880 To me, it's just like this incredible, iconic venue. But 0:04:18.960 --> 0:04:21.000 did you have that all the way through your life, 0:04:21.000 --> 0:04:23.640 with like being on stage and that approbation, because I 0:04:23.680 --> 0:04:27.280 know I did. It's like rocket fuel, Is that part 0:04:27.279 --> 0:04:30.200 of the engine. Yeah? Well, I mean you find out 0:04:30.240 --> 0:04:33.080 that you're good at something right, and that you're bad 0:04:33.080 --> 0:04:35.640 at all these other things. But all you have to 0:04:35.680 --> 0:04:37.800 find out is the good thing that you're good at. 0:04:37.920 --> 0:04:39.960 You know, you just have to find that thing for you, 0:04:40.279 --> 0:04:43.960 and when you find it, it's so good to be capable, 0:04:44.480 --> 0:04:47.719 you know, it feels so gratifying to be good at something. 0:04:47.760 --> 0:04:51.040 And to have people clamoring to see you and wanting 0:04:51.080 --> 0:04:53.960 to see that live. I love that you embrace that 0:04:54.000 --> 0:04:55.800 because there are so many people who are just like, oh, 0:04:55.839 --> 0:04:58.720 you know, I just do it for the work, and 0:04:58.760 --> 0:05:01.320 I just I love it. And if I bring a 0:05:01.400 --> 0:05:05.200 couple of people peace. I love the fact that you're like, yeah, 0:05:05.360 --> 0:05:08.080 I want a huge crowds. Yeah, I want to be 0:05:08.120 --> 0:05:10.479 good at it. I love being good at it. I've 0:05:10.520 --> 0:05:12.719 always loved that about you. It's the appetite that you 0:05:12.800 --> 0:05:14.880 have for what it is that you do, because you 0:05:14.920 --> 0:05:21.000 do clearly love it. So what quality do you like 0:05:21.120 --> 0:05:27.000 least about yourself? My vanity? Do you really well? I mean, 0:05:27.200 --> 0:05:31.640 it's not an admirable treat in someone. I don't admire 0:05:32.000 --> 0:05:35.880 vanity and others I detested because I detested in myself. 0:05:36.480 --> 0:05:39.119 So yeah, I don't like it. I wish I didn't 0:05:39.120 --> 0:05:41.200 care about the way I looked. But I don't mean 0:05:41.200 --> 0:05:43.599 just physically, I just mean my vanity and everything. You know, 0:05:43.720 --> 0:05:46.200 I wish I didn't have my ego. I wish I 0:05:46.200 --> 0:05:50.120 could just be enlightened instead of ego driven. But it's 0:05:50.160 --> 0:05:53.240 a pretty enlightened point of view to acknowledge that I 0:05:53.240 --> 0:05:56.040 mean that's a weird nexus between your ego and then 0:05:56.080 --> 0:05:58.480 also being able to be the spectator look at yourself, 0:05:58.520 --> 0:06:01.960 going shit, I wish I didn't have that, But there's 0:06:02.000 --> 0:06:04.640 wisdom in that sheils. You have to have done some 0:06:04.680 --> 0:06:07.800 work to be able to observe that that's true. I 0:06:07.839 --> 0:06:10.280 have done some work. I mean, that's just me one 0:06:10.320 --> 0:06:14.520 cup of wisdom after another. Mini you know that. That's 0:06:14.520 --> 0:06:20.600 what I always say about you, Just wisdom, handler wisdom 0:06:20.680 --> 0:06:25.080 to point but I do. It's like there's a total 0:06:25.200 --> 0:06:28.880 veracity in the way that you hand out information that 0:06:29.040 --> 0:06:32.360 I will always appreciate. But I think you also turn 0:06:32.400 --> 0:06:34.240 that lens on yourself as much as you turn on 0:06:34.279 --> 0:06:41.200 other people, including states. Shout out to Albuquerque, we love you, Albuquerque. 0:06:41.480 --> 0:06:49.760 Shout out to Albuquerque. What would be your last meal? 0:06:50.240 --> 0:06:53.440 Spaghetti with clams long a way with a white wine 0:06:53.480 --> 0:06:55.520 sauce is pretty much my favorite thing in the world, 0:06:55.800 --> 0:06:59.480 with a lot of parmesan. Yeah, do you make that? No? 0:07:00.000 --> 0:07:03.880 I can't make anything many. I can make egg whites 0:07:04.400 --> 0:07:06.960 and I can toast a bagel and that's all I 0:07:06.960 --> 0:07:10.440 can make. Okay, So who makes your spaghettian clams for 0:07:10.560 --> 0:07:14.680 your last male? Usually an Italian restaurant, So you'd be 0:07:14.720 --> 0:07:19.760 sitting by yourself. No, no, yeah, ideally I would be yeah, no, 0:07:19.880 --> 0:07:21.760 I want to talk to anybody. I would have them 0:07:21.800 --> 0:07:25.560 deliver it at the very least, the very least, I 0:07:25.560 --> 0:07:43.080 would eat it at my house. What relationship, real or fictionalized, 0:07:43.360 --> 0:07:47.120 defines love for you? I'm gonna say my relationships with 0:07:47.160 --> 0:07:50.560 my sisters, both of them, because if there is an 0:07:50.640 --> 0:07:53.800 unspoken as you know, being a girl and having a sister, 0:07:53.960 --> 0:07:58.360 there is an unspoken tacit understanding of every single thing 0:07:58.400 --> 0:08:01.720 that is in your brain or on your mind or 0:08:01.760 --> 0:08:05.040 on your face. There is an unspoken language between sisters 0:08:05.440 --> 0:08:08.120 where you look at them and they know that you 0:08:08.240 --> 0:08:12.320 have twenty looks and what each look means exactly. You know, 0:08:12.840 --> 0:08:15.080 when I look across the room and I'm talking to someone, 0:08:15.120 --> 0:08:17.880 my sister knows exactly if I want to stop talking 0:08:17.880 --> 0:08:20.240 to that person, if I want to continue talking about person, 0:08:20.400 --> 0:08:22.600 or if I want to leave with that person, like 0:08:22.920 --> 0:08:26.160 you know, and to me, that is love, because how 0:08:26.200 --> 0:08:29.600 do you know somebody so intimately? Like I don't know 0:08:29.680 --> 0:08:32.800 anybody or trust anybody the way I trust my sisters. 0:08:33.400 --> 0:08:38.360 So is the cornerstone the trust and complicity and transparency. 0:08:38.400 --> 0:08:42.280 Are those the cornerstones of love for you? Trust? For sure? 0:08:43.040 --> 0:08:47.240 I think the unconditional love, the knowing of I can 0:08:47.280 --> 0:08:50.040 say I did something wrong or bad or something I 0:08:50.120 --> 0:08:53.240 regret to my sisters and they're never gonna not be 0:08:53.320 --> 0:08:56.800 on my side. You know, you could do the worst thing, 0:08:56.880 --> 0:08:59.680 and that trust of like I could tell you the 0:08:59.679 --> 0:09:01.920 worst thing about me and you're still gonna love me, 0:09:02.559 --> 0:09:06.320 is the cornerstone of any real love. Yeah, you're absolutely right. 0:09:06.840 --> 0:09:10.720 My sister is well, you know my sister. She is 0:09:10.760 --> 0:09:17.160 just ruthless with me, but also the most loving, supportive cheerleader. 0:09:17.480 --> 0:09:23.480 And it's astonishing that sisters can actually inhabit both. Yeah. Yeah, 0:09:23.559 --> 0:09:27.280 they're going to tell you the truth, right, Yeah, the honesty, 0:09:27.360 --> 0:09:29.960 the honesty. I just want somebody to be honest with me. 0:09:30.080 --> 0:09:32.600 You know so many times I've gone through life and 0:09:32.640 --> 0:09:34.720 been like, well, if you all hated that boyfriend, why 0:09:34.720 --> 0:09:36.520 didn't anyone say anything to me? And they're like, like, 0:09:36.600 --> 0:09:38.800 you would have listened, And it's like I would have 0:09:38.840 --> 0:09:42.200 fucking listened. If my sisters had told me, hey, this 0:09:42.280 --> 0:09:45.840 guy is terrible, like why are you dating him? I 0:09:45.880 --> 0:09:48.640 would have listened to them. I want the truth. I 0:09:48.679 --> 0:09:51.320 always want the truth. I don't want any venar. She 0:09:51.679 --> 0:09:54.719 I love your retro rage at your sister. It's like, 0:09:54.720 --> 0:09:57.080 why did you fucking tell me he was an assholt. 0:09:57.240 --> 0:09:59.840 It's like it's your fault. It's like, you fuckers, because 0:10:00.320 --> 0:10:02.400 I told my sister. We were all there, but I'm 0:10:02.400 --> 0:10:04.520 the ring leader of our crew. It was my brother 0:10:04.559 --> 0:10:06.240 and my sister were in New York. It was some 0:10:06.320 --> 0:10:08.760 fancy night where I was receiving some award at like 0:10:08.920 --> 0:10:12.640 the Glamor Awards or something, and we all had a 0:10:12.640 --> 0:10:15.000 few drinks and we all looked really pretty. And I 0:10:15.120 --> 0:10:17.160 looked at my sister and I just flew out of 0:10:17.200 --> 0:10:20.120 my mouth and I said, you're unhappy and you're a 0:10:20.120 --> 0:10:23.480 bummer to be around. I said, you haven't been happy 0:10:23.480 --> 0:10:25.720 for about five years. I think you need to get divorced. 0:10:26.400 --> 0:10:30.200 And she looked at me, and she looked at my sister, 0:10:30.559 --> 0:10:33.040 and my sister's like it's true. And she looked at 0:10:33.040 --> 0:10:36.920 my brother and he's like it's true. And she looked 0:10:36.920 --> 0:10:39.440 at all of us and she's like okay. And she 0:10:39.559 --> 0:10:42.120 went and she drove home the next morning, and she 0:10:42.280 --> 0:10:43.960 had to fly to Paris for two weeks for some 0:10:44.040 --> 0:10:46.120 work thing, and she came home and she told her 0:10:46.200 --> 0:10:48.160 husband they were splitting up and they were getting divorced. 0:10:48.559 --> 0:10:51.120 And she says to me, always, I didn't know I 0:10:51.160 --> 0:10:53.640 was acting like that until you told me so when 0:10:53.679 --> 0:10:58.120 I had my relationship with the aforementioned gentleman, I was 0:10:58.160 --> 0:11:01.240 just referring to years later. And she didn't say, hey, ho, 0:11:01.480 --> 0:11:04.600 you're dating an asshole. I was like, hey, remember when 0:11:04.600 --> 0:11:06.040 I told you to get divorced and you said that 0:11:06.120 --> 0:11:08.360 was the most meaningful thing you've ever heard from us. 0:11:08.640 --> 0:11:11.080 And she said, well, you weren't getting married. I was like, 0:11:11.120 --> 0:11:13.080 so you were gonna wait until I got married to 0:11:13.120 --> 0:11:17.600 this asshole to tell me not to marry him. Wow. Anyway, 0:11:17.679 --> 0:11:19.959 it's important to be honest with people. And I love 0:11:20.040 --> 0:11:23.320 my sisters. That's the moral of that story. I say, oh, 0:11:23.520 --> 0:11:29.480 like you know, no, No, is there a hierarchy. Uh, 0:11:29.520 --> 0:11:31.480 there's a hierarchy. I'm at the top of it, just 0:11:31.559 --> 0:11:34.679 because I plan all the vacations and I'm you know, 0:11:35.040 --> 0:11:37.360 I'm a mover and a shaker. I make things happen. 0:11:37.440 --> 0:11:39.760 If it were left to them, we wouldn't ever be 0:11:39.800 --> 0:11:42.960 going on vacation together, you know, Like I organized. I 0:11:43.000 --> 0:11:47.320 also love the vacations and how you frame your sorority, Like, 0:11:47.400 --> 0:11:49.679 I love that, Like this is the most important thing. 0:11:49.800 --> 0:11:53.200 That's Yeah, that's our central focus. Yeah, this is how 0:11:53.200 --> 0:11:56.200 I figure out. The pecking order is who organized the vacations. 0:11:56.559 --> 0:12:00.360 It's great. Yeah, right, it's basically who's got the money, right, Okay, 0:12:00.440 --> 0:12:02.520 so I have the money, so I'm in charge. I 0:12:02.559 --> 0:12:04.880 am the youngest, though, of my siblings. Oh my god, 0:12:04.880 --> 0:12:10.120 what a nightmare, absolutely nightmare for them. Yeah, they're also 0:12:10.200 --> 0:12:12.720 over me. But yeah, there's a pecking order. But you know, 0:12:12.800 --> 0:12:16.600 we're all very tight my family. We have a good group, 0:12:16.640 --> 0:12:18.560 and we all get along, and we all agree on 0:12:19.120 --> 0:12:22.440 politics and racial justice. And I don't have any of 0:12:22.440 --> 0:12:25.280 those like conservative people in my family that I hear 0:12:25.400 --> 0:12:27.920 so many friends, you know having, So I guess I'm 0:12:28.080 --> 0:12:31.920 feeling even more gratitude recently of late, you know, with 0:12:31.960 --> 0:12:34.240 all of the political aspects going on in the world, 0:12:34.320 --> 0:12:38.840 to have a family that also, like we agree on everything. Yeah, god, 0:12:39.040 --> 0:12:43.240 I can't even imagine having a super conservative family member 0:12:43.240 --> 0:12:45.960 and just being able to accommodate their point of view 0:12:46.120 --> 0:12:48.440 because you know, everyone is entitled to it. But oh 0:12:48.440 --> 0:12:51.240 my god, no, I don't want to think about that, 0:12:51.320 --> 0:12:59.280 I'm having a nice day in your life. What can 0:12:59.360 --> 0:13:03.400 you tell me has grown out of a personal disaster? 0:13:04.080 --> 0:13:08.000 I guess my last serious relationship, which now is many 0:13:08.080 --> 0:13:13.839 years ago, it was pretty hectic and pretty volatile, Like 0:13:14.040 --> 0:13:15.719 you know, when people bring out the worst in you. 0:13:15.920 --> 0:13:18.160 We brought out the worst in each other. He certainly 0:13:18.200 --> 0:13:20.000 brought out the worst in me. I probably brought out 0:13:20.000 --> 0:13:24.320 the best in him, but that was really low And 0:13:24.360 --> 0:13:28.680 I remember thinking, after that relationship, I just want to 0:13:28.679 --> 0:13:31.439 be untethered, right, I don't want to have the feeling 0:13:31.760 --> 0:13:34.079 that I've drawn to anyone. I want to be free 0:13:34.360 --> 0:13:36.280 of men in my life, Like I don't want to 0:13:36.280 --> 0:13:38.640 be on the verge of something, on the verge of 0:13:38.640 --> 0:13:40.880 beginning a relationship or on the verge of ending it. 0:13:41.000 --> 0:13:43.440 Like I wanted to just be in the safe zone, right. 0:13:44.240 --> 0:13:46.600 And you know a lot of people can interpret that 0:13:46.640 --> 0:13:49.440 as being very protective over yourself, which is true. But 0:13:49.559 --> 0:13:52.600 what was born out of that was like I needed 0:13:52.640 --> 0:13:55.480 to learn how to be happy without that because I 0:13:55.520 --> 0:13:58.160 had put so much dependency on that relationship to make 0:13:58.240 --> 0:14:01.400 me happy. So when that was taken out of the equation, 0:14:01.800 --> 0:14:05.280 which was my own decision, but sticking to it and 0:14:05.320 --> 0:14:08.320 like understanding what it means to go through the pain 0:14:08.440 --> 0:14:11.760 of a situation without throwing alcohol or drugs or other 0:14:11.800 --> 0:14:16.199 men at it and sitting in it, because the quickest 0:14:16.240 --> 0:14:19.720 way to go through emotional trauma is to sit through it, right, 0:14:19.840 --> 0:14:22.440 And that way you're just getting through it and being 0:14:22.440 --> 0:14:26.440 present in the ugliness of your feelings. That was a 0:14:26.440 --> 0:14:29.640 real testament because my healing happens so much more quickly 0:14:29.680 --> 0:14:33.000 because I was present about being in pain. God, that's 0:14:33.200 --> 0:14:37.160 very interesting the idea, because it feels counterintuitive, and I 0:14:37.160 --> 0:14:39.080 think that's the way that most people think about pain, 0:14:39.240 --> 0:14:41.840 is that I would do anything then go through it. 0:14:42.000 --> 0:14:45.080 I would rather stay in my unhappy marriage, I would 0:14:45.240 --> 0:14:48.080 rather stay in my borrowing, awful job. I would rather 0:14:48.160 --> 0:14:50.320 not confront those things that are going to engender pain. 0:14:50.520 --> 0:14:53.320 So interesting is humans, like way, are constantly looking to 0:14:53.400 --> 0:14:56.920 avoid pain. It's cool to hear you say that sitting 0:14:56.960 --> 0:14:58.960 with it and being with it was actually the fastest 0:14:58.960 --> 0:15:03.840 way to get over it. Yeah, yeah, it is, and 0:15:03.880 --> 0:15:05.800 you know, and it is ugly. But you're doing yourself 0:15:05.840 --> 0:15:09.680 a favor because every time you deflect these injuries, they 0:15:09.760 --> 0:15:11.520 build up and then they fucking tap you on the 0:15:11.520 --> 0:15:13.600 shoulder when you're least expecting it, and then you're really 0:15:13.640 --> 0:15:16.880 out of whack. So when people aren't facing their ugliness 0:15:16.920 --> 0:15:20.080 head on, you know, you're postponing it. Oh god, do 0:15:20.120 --> 0:15:21.680 you think it will just catch us up with you? 0:15:21.760 --> 0:15:23.440 And fect My father used to say that you never 0:15:23.520 --> 0:15:26.920 run up a bar tub you don't eventually have to pay. Well. 0:15:26.960 --> 0:15:28.920 I mean, I don't know about your British people, but 0:15:29.840 --> 0:15:32.440 you guys probably aren't there with the therapy as we are, 0:15:32.520 --> 0:15:35.280 because I know you, like, we are all therapied out 0:15:35.280 --> 0:15:40.680 in America. So oh no, I'm therapied up the wazoo. Well, 0:15:40.760 --> 0:15:42.480 I mean, Brits are going to therapy now. All my 0:15:42.520 --> 0:15:44.880 British friends go to therapy. I used to think it 0:15:44.960 --> 0:15:48.880 was so stupid. I'm like, oh, please, sitting around and 0:15:48.920 --> 0:15:53.040 talking about myself for hours on end sounds heavenly, I know. 0:15:53.320 --> 0:15:55.240 I was like, I do that my whole life, like 0:15:55.280 --> 0:15:58.480 I can't spend extra time doing that, even I can't. 0:15:59.200 --> 0:16:00.680 And then you do it and you're like, oh, what 0:16:00.760 --> 0:16:02.720 a great investment that was, you know what I mean. 0:16:02.760 --> 0:16:04.800 I'm like, it's like, oh, there, I just took care 0:16:04.800 --> 0:16:07.680 of college perfect. Now I'm a graduate. I get it. 0:16:08.160 --> 0:16:10.440 Now I can move through the world in a loving, 0:16:10.760 --> 0:16:14.800 more kind way. You know. Yeah, I like how to therapists, 0:16:14.920 --> 0:16:19.160 I asked my amazing therapist. I like, listen, I just 0:16:19.280 --> 0:16:22.840 want tools. I want practical things that I can do 0:16:23.200 --> 0:16:26.840 when ship is melting. So can you please give me 0:16:27.240 --> 0:16:30.200 these things? And rather than talking about the root of 0:16:30.240 --> 0:16:33.040 the melting or why we've I guess we've covered that. 0:16:33.120 --> 0:16:36.840 But he's so good, He's like, yes, this is what 0:16:36.880 --> 0:16:40.080 you do, and here's an app I'm crazy about him. 0:16:40.080 --> 0:16:44.360 I'm crazy about a practical approach to like psychological trouble right. 0:16:44.520 --> 0:16:48.240 I like a very linear, you know plan. I like 0:16:48.360 --> 0:16:50.480 to say, okay, it tells me exactly what part of 0:16:50.520 --> 0:16:52.320 the brain is, is what it functions as, and what 0:16:52.400 --> 0:16:54.480 I have to do to keep it moving in the 0:16:54.560 --> 0:17:10.240 right direction. Like scientific answers, not what question would you 0:17:10.320 --> 0:17:15.199 most like answered? What happens when we die? What do 0:17:15.200 --> 0:17:18.800 you think happens when we die? I'm not thinking much happened, 0:17:18.960 --> 0:17:22.800 So that's a bummer. Wait are you hoping that the 0:17:22.840 --> 0:17:24.960 answer the question is going to be more interesting and 0:17:24.960 --> 0:17:27.280 glamorous than like you? I don't think it's anything. I 0:17:27.280 --> 0:17:29.399 think it's just like dust In Albuquerque. I mean, I 0:17:29.480 --> 0:17:32.160 just I don't think as much. I'm hoping that I'm 0:17:32.200 --> 0:17:34.760 wrong and that, you know, we go off into Lala 0:17:34.880 --> 0:17:37.239 land and decide what we're gonna do next, or if 0:17:37.240 --> 0:17:39.280 we want to become a bird or a feather or 0:17:39.320 --> 0:17:42.320 a person. But I doubt that's true. But I do 0:17:42.440 --> 0:17:46.040 believe in energy and the science behind energy never dies. 0:17:46.119 --> 0:17:48.360 It just transforms into something else. So when we die, 0:17:48.560 --> 0:17:50.760 we're not gone. You know. I have a dead mother 0:17:50.840 --> 0:17:52.480 and I have a dead brother, and I talked to 0:17:52.520 --> 0:17:55.320 my dead mom all the time. I talked to my 0:17:55.400 --> 0:17:57.520 dead mom all the time as well. Do you have 0:17:57.560 --> 0:18:02.000 a sign for your mom? Oh my god, that's so weird. 0:18:02.000 --> 0:18:05.000 Whenever I talked to her, a bird flies by. Yeah, 0:18:05.119 --> 0:18:08.880 that's a common sign, a bird for your mom. Yeah, yeah, 0:18:09.040 --> 0:18:11.439 that's how they come back. There's all these signs, you know. 0:18:11.480 --> 0:18:13.280 If you talk to these new a G people, they 0:18:13.280 --> 0:18:15.639 talk about like different ways to know. But I was 0:18:15.680 --> 0:18:18.399 instructed to just pray and talk to my mom and 0:18:18.440 --> 0:18:20.560 ask her for a sign in the form of mine 0:18:20.600 --> 0:18:22.880 is an orange. My mom just reminds me of citrus 0:18:22.920 --> 0:18:25.879 because I love oranges and they're juicy and squeezable, and 0:18:25.920 --> 0:18:29.840 my mom was juicy and squeezable, and I whenever I 0:18:29.880 --> 0:18:32.879 asked for an orange, I get one. And I was 0:18:32.920 --> 0:18:35.399 skiing and whistler this Christmas. I was there for like 0:18:35.440 --> 0:18:37.520 three months this year because of COVID. I just stayed 0:18:37.560 --> 0:18:40.720 there and I skied and skied and skied. And on 0:18:40.760 --> 0:18:44.000 my birthday there was a little orange at this tree 0:18:44.040 --> 0:18:46.080 where I stopped to smoke a joint in the middle 0:18:46.080 --> 0:18:48.520 of the day, I sat down and I saw an orange. 0:18:49.200 --> 0:18:51.560 You know, I believe in that stuff. I believe in 0:18:51.760 --> 0:18:54.960 signs and energies, and there's something bigger at play here 0:18:54.960 --> 0:18:57.320 than any of us will ever know about, you know. 0:18:57.840 --> 0:19:00.600 But I do hope that it's not over. But I'm 0:19:00.640 --> 0:19:03.840 sure it is. Well, I think the vanity is going 0:19:03.880 --> 0:19:06.439 to be over pay but I do. I mean, my 0:19:06.520 --> 0:19:09.520 mom died very recently. I still feel so connected to her. 0:19:09.520 --> 0:19:11.240 But I don't know if that's just the shock of 0:19:11.280 --> 0:19:15.000 her being gone or if it's actually this tenable energy. 0:19:15.119 --> 0:19:17.439 But I'd like to think it's that. And why not 0:19:17.560 --> 0:19:19.800 believe in something, you know, why not believe in it? 0:19:19.840 --> 0:19:22.119 Because we all know that, you know, manifestation is a 0:19:22.160 --> 0:19:24.639 real thing too, that is like proven, you know, thinking 0:19:24.680 --> 0:19:28.000 things into being without being like corny and hokey about it, 0:19:28.040 --> 0:19:30.800 Like if you're on the train headed in a certain direction, 0:19:30.800 --> 0:19:34.160 you're going to get there. So all of it works. 0:19:34.280 --> 0:19:36.440 And if you believe in stuff, it makes it more 0:19:36.480 --> 0:19:39.000 true and it makes it more real. Like I saw 0:19:39.040 --> 0:19:42.000 this thing on Instagram the other day. This guy's brother 0:19:42.080 --> 0:19:43.920 died when he was twenty seven, and when he was 0:19:43.960 --> 0:19:46.119 a little kid, he had posed in this like Friedo 0:19:46.200 --> 0:19:48.879 lay print ad as like a six year old. And 0:19:49.000 --> 0:19:51.520 right before he died, he sent his brother a picture 0:19:51.560 --> 0:19:53.720 of him next to the truck, going, remember when I 0:19:53.760 --> 0:19:57.080 did this, he was murdered. There's only one truck with 0:19:57.119 --> 0:19:59.240 that picture on it in all of Israel. I think 0:19:59.240 --> 0:20:02.159 that's where they live. And on his thirtieth birthday, his 0:20:02.240 --> 0:20:05.440 brother was driving and the truck passed him. And it's 0:20:05.480 --> 0:20:08.520 like that could be a coincidence, but it's not. Like 0:20:08.600 --> 0:20:11.119 I do believe in things like that. You know what 0:20:11.240 --> 0:20:13.760 I do too. I also it makes me think about 0:20:13.920 --> 0:20:16.120 you know how when you ask about reincarnation and people 0:20:16.160 --> 0:20:19.000 always think that they were like an Egyptian pharaoh, Like 0:20:19.040 --> 0:20:22.400 I actually love that. No, some people are just remembered 0:20:22.400 --> 0:20:26.800 by Frieda lay and oranges and birds, and it's very simple, 0:20:26.880 --> 0:20:28.919 and don't start getting up at d about what you 0:20:28.960 --> 0:20:33.879 think you were. I really like how fundamentally human freedo 0:20:34.000 --> 0:20:37.679 lay oranges and birds even though they're Avian. But you 0:20:37.680 --> 0:20:41.879 know what I mean, Like, I like that. Well. I 0:20:41.920 --> 0:20:45.040 also summoned my mother sometimes when I'm meditating. I meditating 0:20:45.040 --> 0:20:46.760 the morning is usually when I wake up, and I 0:20:46.800 --> 0:20:49.720 always in like, you know, when I'm really feeling vulnerable 0:20:49.960 --> 0:20:54.600 or insecure or whatever something that I don't like feeling, 0:20:54.880 --> 0:20:57.159 I always kind of go like momm you know. And 0:20:57.160 --> 0:20:58.960 I have this thing if my hands get hot, that 0:20:58.960 --> 0:21:00.960 means my mom's with me, and if they don't get hot, 0:21:01.000 --> 0:21:04.400 she's not. More often times than not, I feel her 0:21:04.520 --> 0:21:07.679 right away, like I feel her, And it's true, I 0:21:07.720 --> 0:21:09.600 know when she's there and when she's not. And I 0:21:09.680 --> 0:21:12.440 would say to you, like, I have a much closer 0:21:12.480 --> 0:21:14.960 bond with my mother now that she's been gone for 0:21:15.440 --> 0:21:19.560 fourteen years than I did when she was even here. Wow. 0:21:20.400 --> 0:21:22.600 I was talking with someone on the podcast the other 0:21:22.680 --> 0:21:26.439 day that nobody talks about this relationship that begins with 0:21:26.520 --> 0:21:29.320 the person you love after that dead, that it grows 0:21:29.359 --> 0:21:32.480 and it changes and it becomes something else like, that's 0:21:32.520 --> 0:21:35.240 really interesting that you would say that, because that confirms 0:21:35.320 --> 0:21:38.480 my belief that you know, it's true, there's evolution even 0:21:38.520 --> 0:21:42.640 after their dead. Yeah, yeah, it's definitely true because then 0:21:42.680 --> 0:21:45.440 we also gain a better understanding of our parents, right, 0:21:45.600 --> 0:21:49.359 Like we also after they're gone, we start to grow 0:21:49.400 --> 0:21:52.680 into them more. We start to understand them and where 0:21:52.720 --> 0:21:55.160 they were coming from totally. I think about my mom, 0:21:55.280 --> 0:21:58.359