Speaker 1: Welcome this episode of Emergency Intercolm.
Speaker 2: Hello, Hello, Hello.
Speaker 1: Happy Black Friday, guys, sales, you got be on Friday.
Speaker 1: This is for this Friday.
Speaker 2: No, I thought it was like Friday Friday.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Black Fridays after the Friday after Thanksgiving. You know
Speaker 1: that somebody has never been on the mark.
Speaker 2: To get the I'm just not poor, No.
Speaker 1: But like Black Friday is a fun activity for everybody.
Speaker 2: Shop at Black Friday.
Speaker 1: On Black Friday, I go to see yours, Macy's, Bloomingdale's, Walmart.
Speaker 2: What's wal Mart?
Speaker 1: You've never been to Walmart?
Speaker 2: Is that like a poor person? You know what?
Speaker 1: Loki, You're like the Walmart version of Justin.
Speaker 2: Oh you say, I'm the Walmart version of Justin Bieber.
Speaker 2: I've actually never shot there, and you've probably shot there
Speaker 2: a bunch in your life.
Speaker 1: And that's why you know I would look like.
Speaker 2: I look like Walmart Justin Bieber. But that guy Swedish,
Speaker 2: I have no idea.
Speaker 1: Why is he Swedish? In my head like, oh, of
Speaker 1: course you have been to Walmart?
Speaker 2: Oh of course, yeah, I don't know to do.
Speaker 1: A Swedish Jackson was crazy. But I actually, while I
Speaker 1: was watching the I was thinking about it. Like a
Speaker 1: lot of my like ego and pride fully came from
Speaker 1: my dad because we were not in the tax racket
Speaker 1: to avoid Black Friday. Like also like not to say
Speaker 1: like anybody could do Black Friday. Black Friday is fucking fun.
Speaker 1: I love I am. I am top tier consumerists, so
Speaker 1: a deal will have me buy something. Whether it's a
Speaker 1: deal or not, I will probably buy it.
Speaker 2: And this is literally advertising for Black Friday.
Speaker 1: I know it's fucked up, but it's it's a ploy.
Speaker 1: It's a ploy. They hike up the prices right before
Speaker 1: so that they can drop them so you feel like
Speaker 1: you're getting a deal. Newsflash, everyone's scramming.
Speaker 2: Over it's all over stock. You know. It's just over
Speaker 2: consumption and they print too much of what they think
Speaker 2: everybody wants, and then at the end of the year
Speaker 2: they sell it all off for pennies just so they
Speaker 2: can cover their asses. Sewing Q four their numbers don't
Speaker 2: flop in the entire economy tanks.
Speaker 1: But with that being said, I just never did Black
Speaker 1: Friday because my dad was like, that's like too crazy,
Speaker 1: Like we can't do that. And then that's probably where
Speaker 1: I got a lot of my like you've witnessed me
Speaker 1: do it where I'm like, I can't do that, Like
Speaker 1: I just can't explain. I just can't do that.
Speaker 2: You literally were just doing it over cruises.
Speaker 1: Like I just like in my head, I'm like, if
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do it, I have to like I have
Speaker 1: to do it with like a bit of a bang,
Speaker 1: a bit of a pizzazz. You know. I'm the kind
Speaker 1: of girl I walk into a room and I want
Speaker 1: to I want y'alls to drop. I don't want people
Speaker 1: to close their mouth and turn in whispers.
Speaker 2: See, it's a real problem for me because when I
Speaker 2: walk into the room, panties just drop. They just start dropping, man,
Speaker 2: like everybody.
Speaker 1: So that's it's also like.
Speaker 2: A tsunami wave forms from all of like you know,
Speaker 2: the squirt and the piss and the way. Oh you
Speaker 2: know there, you've seen it happen at the nice guy.
Speaker 2: I feel awesome right now, Like you're not real, You're
Speaker 2: not real.
Speaker 1: It's the lighting is scary you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're doing a night episode today because we were
Speaker 2: supposed to film yesterday so we didn't have to film today,
Speaker 2: and then we woke up this morning and we were like, fuck,
Speaker 2: we can't film this morning. Because then it's busy and
Speaker 2: I have the gym, and then now we're filming at night.
Speaker 2: But it's like kind of a nice vibe. Honestly, the
Speaker 2: lighting I can't tell on the camera, but in real
Speaker 2: life looks insane, like it looks like it's gonna.
Speaker 1: Suck insane like camera, it is like a little like
Speaker 1: that light is a little more white than fluorescent, Like
Speaker 1: it's pretty fluorescent, which is not a vibe. It's very scary.
Speaker 1: And I can't believe technology we I can't believe we
Speaker 1: were ever headed in a direction that we believed that
Speaker 1: that few of like light.
Speaker 2: Belongs to anywhere but in a hospital or cubicle. I
Speaker 2: think it like like makes people more productive or something like.
Speaker 2: I don't I don't know the signs behind it, but
Speaker 2: get that ship out of my fucking.
Speaker 1: House now, yeah, I don't believe it out of you
Speaker 1: know what we mean? We need the lights that they
Speaker 1: installed at the Pink Wall in the.
Speaker 2: Anti night selfie lighting, so like when you take a
Speaker 2: selfie at night, it turns you literally moss green. It's
Speaker 2: fucking list.
Speaker 1: I saw people we passed by the Pink Wall a
Speaker 1: few nights ago. I don't remember why but I saw
Speaker 1: people out there taking photos at I and I was like,
Speaker 1: look at them, not letting anything stop them. Also, what's
Speaker 1: gonna stop me from coming to the pink wall with
Speaker 1: a big, fat ass up?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I don't know. Why do you jump
Speaker 2: to violance because I mean eco terrorists?
Speaker 1: Why do you like but this planet treats too good?
Speaker 1: Why do you want to do that?
Speaker 2: No that I'm fighting for the planet.
Speaker 1: Well, don't hurt the ones you.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna fly drones into the power grid and shut everything.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I would love to see that, Like,
Speaker 1: I would literally love to see video that. Do you
Speaker 1: know how good that would sound? It would be like
Speaker 1: all of.
Speaker 2: That's a good one.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Also I need I think I'm done. Okay, I
Speaker 1: didn't say anything just now that was crazy.
Speaker 2: I'm done.
Speaker 1: I've been watching a lot like if you know.
Speaker 2: Me, if you know my only my only one, stupid, big,
Speaker 2: so useful. I'm so happy. That's funny. How I'm happy?
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. No, but you're mad, I'm happy.
Speaker 1: No, you're mad.
Speaker 2: It's funny because I'm happy. I'm not mad. I'm happy.
Speaker 1: Oh but I have seen you, the true you, and
Speaker 1: I know you're not happy girl. Okay, this is like
Speaker 1: scaring me because I'm like burning like everything around it.
Speaker 1: This like your little candle is like scaring my other ones.
Speaker 1: But my big issue, my one fatal flaw, is that
Speaker 1: I am obsessed with plane crashes. It's like there there
Speaker 1: are those videos that like, Okay, to be fair, like
Speaker 1: I am just like genuinely like curious because with something
Speaker 1: like a plane or like a car or like I'm
Speaker 1: talking about my fascination with all these like modes of
Speaker 1: transportations before. But what's crazy about planes is like accidents
Speaker 1: had to happen for them to know to fix certain things,
Speaker 1: which is terrifying. And like also all of these are
Speaker 1: like kind of like when the first boom of like
Speaker 1: public aviation started like that that's what I'm like watching,
Speaker 1: and it's like, dude, this is like all these like
Speaker 1: pilots were just.
Speaker 2: Like I wish we could still smoke on the airplanes.
Speaker 2: Like that's that's a crazy ass vibe that our parents
Speaker 2: probably smoked on it not probably smoked on an airplane,
Speaker 2: but had they wanted to, could have smoked on an airplane.
Speaker 2: That says we need to bring back indoor smoking. And
Speaker 2: that's what I've taken. They're taking everything away from us.
Speaker 1: Somebody was saying. Somebody replied, the people are saying, so
Speaker 1: the people, they're saying that it is nasty that I
Speaker 1: smoked cigarettes. But I am saying it is nasty that
Speaker 1: you have the audacity to come up to me smelling
Speaker 1: like the ass crack of a fucking box of fruit loops. Yep,
Speaker 1: and I'm the nasty one. No, I smell like an adult.
Speaker 1: I smell like I'm paying my taxes. I smell like
Speaker 1: I'm filling my car up. You smell like you just
Speaker 1: wag into a sticky, spit filled ball pit and went
Speaker 1: to the bottom and used the bottom. Your nails are
Speaker 1: long enough that you scrape the carpet that's under the
Speaker 1: ball pit, and it all the crumbs from all the
Speaker 1: sludge and nasty jolly rancher stickiness that chicky cheese is
Speaker 1: under your nails. And now you're coming up to me
Speaker 1: smelling like I'm just offended. Like we need to bring
Speaker 1: smoking real smoking.
Speaker 2: We need to bring showering back, make showering great again.
Speaker 1: Bro, you don't shower show wis today?
Speaker 2: Actually? Why? Because I was stinky as fuck and I
Speaker 2: was like, I cannot go to the gym smelling like
Speaker 2: this because once I start sweating, it's gonna be bad
Speaker 2: for everybody around me.
Speaker 1: Game over, You're gonna to the gym.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So then I showered lightly, and then I showered
Speaker 2: up the gym.
Speaker 1: Lightly, a light shower that sounds like you didn't get
Speaker 1: between those cheeks.
Speaker 2: I watched. I washed everything. I even washed my legs
Speaker 2: because I saw like a Jubilee video of someone asking
Speaker 2: if someone watching when I literally don't.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I knew. I was like, Jude doesn't watch his legs.
Speaker 2: I don't give a fuck, and I will never wash
Speaker 2: my legs because literally, watch the soap from your body
Speaker 2: go down your legs, like watch it happen. It literally happens.
Speaker 2: But anyways, I washed my legs because I was like,
Speaker 2: you know what, I'm a grown asked man, I should
Speaker 2: watch my but that's I have that written down though.
Speaker 2: Funnily enough that like it's insane that the washing your
Speaker 2: ass crack is even a conversation online because I feel
Speaker 2: like it's not real, Like I I cannot, for the
Speaker 2: life of me imagining like imagine someone not washing their
Speaker 2: ass crack, Like it doesn't make sense. It's never it
Speaker 2: doesn't register with me, and I have always done that,
Speaker 2: but like, I just don't have a lot of experience
Speaker 2: with straight men.
Speaker 1: That just has to be a part of the anti
Speaker 1: men propaganda agenda, Like like that has to be a
Speaker 1: part of that, because I genuinely like haven't met but
Speaker 1: I will say, like straight man's hygiens like is lacking,
Speaker 1: because even the ones who claim to be straight that
Speaker 1: I know their hygiene is lacking.
Speaker 2: Stinky ass boys, I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: You, bitch.
Speaker 3: Oh, so if your hygiene is lacking and you're like
Speaker 3: you take care of yourself very well, like not saying
Speaker 3: that you stink or whatever, but like not washing your bed.
Speaker 1: Sheets and whatnot, yes, and not washing your hands after
Speaker 1: you pee. Like girl, you add that on top of
Speaker 1: being a straight man who like punches holes in the world,
Speaker 1: who just for some reason isn't taught this from that Like.
Speaker 2: Damn, maybe you don't.
Speaker 1: You were living in a scent bubble of your.
Speaker 2: Own, you know what. I'm kind of like, I kind
Speaker 2: of like you stinky, Like get over here.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, we've talked about this because like some stink
Speaker 1: is good, Like okay, because we we okay. When I say,
Speaker 1: I'm always like, oh, it smells musty in here, and
Speaker 1: you sometimes will be like, yeah, there's like a musk.
Speaker 1: But do you separate the words musk and musty like
Speaker 1: and must.
Speaker 2: Yes, I just think I mishear you. But there's a
Speaker 2: very big difference between musty and musk, Like musk like.
Speaker 1: Musky is like I am gonna literally start doing this.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be the star on top of that tree
Speaker 1: right now. If you don't, you know, put something else
Speaker 1: on your mind's differently. But I must you know what, Sometimes.
Speaker 2: I kind of like you must see.
Speaker 1: Must use a little sexy sometimes like just a little
Speaker 1: like I don't want it to like send shockwaves through
Speaker 1: my fucking brains, and I don't want to get like
Speaker 1: spinal taps like from like your mustiness. But I like,
Speaker 1: you know what it is, it's the part of my
Speaker 1: brain that is still like is like tied to thinking
Speaker 1: that men are like building houses.
Speaker 2: Was it just super silent or like in my trip?
Speaker 1: No, it was like deafening silent. For a second, there
Speaker 1: was a ringing in my I said, like spinal taps because.
Speaker 2: I like it's spiny. There's zaps going on in the
Speaker 2: same time.
Speaker 1: Because all of our friends were in the house for
Speaker 1: like twelve hours and now it is like deadly everybody as.
Speaker 2: Loud as fuck all the fucking time.
Speaker 1: Hater.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm a hater. I don't give a fuck. I
Speaker 2: don't give a fuck. Oh, I have it, I have it. Okay,
Speaker 2: So I was scrolling on Instagram reels.
Speaker 1: Okay, you're there.
Speaker 2: There's flaw number one. But I was on Instagram reels
Speaker 2: and I think I heard like the worst song I've
Speaker 2: ever heard in my entire life. And I'm not joking
Speaker 2: when I say this, Like it feels like I got
Speaker 2: transported to like the waiting room for purgatory. Like I
Speaker 2: had like a full visceral body reaction and like imagining
Speaker 2: like I've like I've experienced purgatory before, and this is
Speaker 2: the song that's playing the entire time, Like do you
Speaker 2: know what I mean? Like this is hell music.
Speaker 1: Yes, it gives me like a really icky feeling.
Speaker 2: No, do you know what I mean? Like I literally
Speaker 2: feel like the world is ending when I hear this.
Speaker 1: You know what that feels like? It's like what we're describing.
Speaker 1: Like sometimes me and Drew will accidentally go too long
Speaker 1: without a meal, and there's just this like feel like
Speaker 1: almost like a feeling of sickness over you. Like you're
Speaker 1: not to the point of hunger where you're nauseous, because we.
Speaker 2: All have a hunger. We all have a hunger.
Speaker 1: Oh tell me what you mean?
Speaker 4: Looks so big the way, but like not to the
Speaker 4: point of hungary where you're like nauseous and you're gonna
Speaker 4: kill over and die and like you have nothing left
Speaker 4: in you, but the point of hunger where you're like
Speaker 4: just a bit sickly feeling and like music sounds awful.
Speaker 1: Imagine being in that state of mind and that comes on.
Speaker 1: I'm not kidding. I think I would.
Speaker 2: I would do it. It would I would like it would.
Speaker 1: Have been you catch me on a bad day, and
Speaker 1: then that's my position and that's the song that comes off.
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's the song that comes on
Speaker 1: when I'm like like doing something that I really don't
Speaker 1: want to be doing, like like going to the DMV.
Speaker 2: Like that, which going to the DMV? Did he go
Speaker 2: there to a nice station? Back to the DMV, From
Speaker 2: the DMV to the lot, back to the DMV, back
Speaker 2: to lot fifteen twenty minutes up the street back to
Speaker 2: the DMV and literally still not getting his scar. No,
Speaker 2: he's been one hundred and forty five dollars in ubers.
Speaker 2: Not crazy. I think he got his car maybe now,
Speaker 2: But this was at like four and he was like,
Speaker 2: I'm freaking the fuck out. Is that not insane? Stop?
Speaker 1: I'm so scared.
Speaker 2: You need to get that shit figured out. There's a
Speaker 2: warrant out for Ya's arrest.
Speaker 1: I can't say why, but I'm terrified.
Speaker 2: It's bad.
Speaker 1: Yeah, my dad would literally at this point fucking throw
Speaker 1: a pant at the back of my head.
Speaker 2: And it's deserved. It truly is desserve.
Speaker 1: We probably scared our neighbors yesterday really bad. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna admit to that. Yeah. I should just text her
Speaker 1: and be like, hey, by the way, sorry if we
Speaker 1: were allowed last night and see what yeah, and engage
Speaker 1: the vibe. Last night I had the best night of
Speaker 1: my life though, Like literally last night was a movie
Speaker 1: for me. Should I like go go through why I
Speaker 1: was a movie?
Speaker 2: Sure?
Speaker 1: So it was a movie because all of my bestest
Speaker 1: friends in the world were over friends Giving and I've
Speaker 1: just been in my little minor abuse era, which.
Speaker 2: Guys getting major, it's giving major.
Speaker 1: It's over now, Like you see, last night was like
Speaker 1: the key I needed to feel satisfied. Like I was
Speaker 1: just like, see that's good. But we go to Big
Speaker 1: Bird's done like it's over, Like I'm I'm blowing up
Speaker 1: the party of mind.
Speaker 2: Okay, now hold on, hold on?
Speaker 1: What's all what is it? What's all this? Then? Is
Speaker 1: that a British person? What's all this? Then?
Speaker 2: What's this?
Speaker 1: Then? Did you become like cheesy? What? Get like a
Speaker 1: little round? Welcome back to this podcast?
Speaker 2: This man in ya They've got I'm a bit knackered today. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm a little bit tired, but I figured I would
Speaker 2: still give it all.
Speaker 1: Did you say knackered that it's like I'm a bit
Speaker 1: tied that word. Yeah, yeah it is, but like carrying
Speaker 1: it on, you know, like keep on carrying on like
Speaker 1: the Beatles said.
Speaker 2: Did they say that?
Speaker 1: I don't know. It just sounds like the carrying out
Speaker 1: and keep on carry out. That's like the way the
Speaker 1: Eagles would do it. But last night was like a
Speaker 1: sligh because all my bestest friends were over and my
Speaker 1: favorite spot to get a margarita from does Margaritas to Go,
Speaker 1: which I don't.
Speaker 2: It's not. It's literally not. Every time you do it,
Speaker 2: I'm like, this is so illegal.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like I and they like they do it. So
Speaker 1: I'm like.
Speaker 2: Me, and it's in it it's immediately container. What the
Speaker 2: what's going on? No, it's in it to go container,
Speaker 2: which is crazy. It's in a to go cup with
Speaker 2: a straw in it already, so you're supposed to be drinking.
Speaker 1: It on the gop while I'm kidding. Please don't. But
Speaker 1: we went and picked a few up and on the
Speaker 1: way back leaving everything. Everything happens for a reason at
Speaker 1: the right time, because you know what, when we got there,
Speaker 1: it was taking so long to get them, and I
Speaker 1: started panicking because I was like, dude, this is taking
Speaker 1: way longer than I wanted, Like I'm missing all the
Speaker 1: time with the rest of my friends at the house,
Speaker 1: Like I hate this. And I was like feeling a
Speaker 1: bit anxious, like, oh, this is taking too much, too long.
Speaker 1: I should have done this earlier, if I was going
Speaker 1: to do it whatever. But because of that, on our
Speaker 1: right out, a firework show at the grove started when
Speaker 1: we were driving past it, and I was like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, and then I stopped the car for a second,
Speaker 1: like on a random street, and me, Lucas and Josie
Speaker 1: like hopped out of the car and we were looking.
Speaker 2: We're like, dude, this is like soad I need to
Speaker 2: clarify their sober entirely. Oh yeah, I'm not like I'm
Speaker 2: not drinking.
Speaker 1: The we are not we and we do not actually
Speaker 1: count done that Like that is so yeah, we are
Speaker 1: not drinking.
Speaker 2: I believe I have to clarify that.
Speaker 1: But I simply much well the people think we are
Speaker 1: crazy and that we will drink and drive because we
Speaker 1: always joke about doing it. So it is our faults.
Speaker 2: Bro, we ever joke I have.
Speaker 1: I was like, I was like, yeah, like I just
Speaker 1: like did a few like edibles and like had a
Speaker 1: few drinks and like.
Speaker 2: Oh but that's different.
Speaker 1: Yeah, being crossfadd versus being drunk is different. But yeah,
Speaker 1: we did not touch our margaritas. But we stopped and
Speaker 1: like we're looking at the fireworks and then I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, like these are right there. So we
Speaker 1: drove past and we stopped the car on the street
Speaker 1: because literally everybody was stopping the car and getting out
Speaker 1: because in La I have never seen a fire work
Speaker 1: show like that. Let alone like smack dab at the
Speaker 1: grove like damn yeah, but yeah, we we like watched it,
Speaker 1: and we like just off of that, We're like on
Speaker 1: such a high of life because fireworks are so awesome.
Speaker 2: It so sometimes like they are so important to me,
Speaker 2: and I know no one will ever truly understand except
Speaker 2: for Enya like how magical fireworks are, but like, just
Speaker 2: fucking look at it.
Speaker 1: It's literally the one time that I'm like, burn money,
Speaker 1: burn money, by the thing is so awesome and it
Speaker 1: was the craziest fireworks show I've ever seen, and trust
Speaker 1: I was to give you the whole time, like you
Speaker 1: can ask Lucas and Josie, Like the first thing I
Speaker 1: said is like this is going to make your sad,
Speaker 1: and I was like, but I like can't.
Speaker 2: And why did Josiah immediately come home and show me
Speaker 2: the video?
Speaker 1: I know we were contemplating not even telling you, but
Speaker 1: we were just on such a like good one because
Speaker 1: then after the biggest fireworks show ever, we drove home
Speaker 1: blasting what is it? What the fuck is that song?
Speaker 1: It's a Billy Joel song. We you know, we had
Speaker 1: to hit love never felt so good. But my wife,
Speaker 1: I don't care, this is my and it was just
Speaker 1: such a vibe. And then we got back home and
Speaker 1: we were all hanging out, and then we all walked
Speaker 1: to the store for snacks and drinks and we walked back. Also,
Speaker 1: walks are so fun, walks with your friends. We need
Speaker 1: to bring that back.
Speaker 2: Meanwhile, I'm back home the entire time having a full
Speaker 2: blown anxiety at time, Like it was crazy. I felt
Speaker 2: like that high school. Like I literally like felt like
Speaker 2: my entire body was like pins and needles, and my
Speaker 2: fingers were going numb, and like there was like this
Speaker 2: crazy pressure in my stomach. But I didn't feel like
Speaker 2: I was dying, because I knew I wasn't dying. I
Speaker 2: knew I was having an anxiety attack. But I was like,
Speaker 2: this is crazy. I feel like fucking shit. My breathing
Speaker 2: was labored. I was like sweating, and then I was
Speaker 2: also cold, and then I was sweating and I like
Speaker 2: put on like an outfit, and then I took it
Speaker 2: all off because I was like no, no, no, I'm like overheating.
Speaker 2: And then I was freezing and I was like, do
Speaker 2: I get under my covers? And I was like no,
Speaker 2: I can't get under my covers because it's only nine
Speaker 2: and if I go to sleep now, I'll wake up
Speaker 2: at fucking five am. Can't do that. So then I
Speaker 2: was like, Josiah, wake me up in fifteen minutes. I
Speaker 2: need a fucking nap. And I was just freaking the
Speaker 2: fuck out. It was crazy.
Speaker 1: I felt really bad. I didn't know what to do,
Speaker 1: but I was like, there's literally nothing I could do.
Speaker 1: And then every time I went in the room, I
Speaker 1: was like, I feel like I'm making a worse You
Speaker 1: should have just gotten yes, bro, I would not give
Speaker 1: you xanax. Bro.
Speaker 2: How has Zanny's our coke? Bro?
Speaker 1: Okay, no one talked to me about coke or xanax
Speaker 1: because I am sober, Stop talking to me about it.
Speaker 1: How coke?
Speaker 2: Bro?
Speaker 1: I'm so fucking hang in. What the fuck?
Speaker 2: What was?
Speaker 1: But yeah, it was just like a fun night.
Speaker 2: Oh my prostate is literally spashming right now. I cannot
Speaker 2: believe we caught that live on the podcast. That was crazy. No,
Speaker 2: it hurts so bad.
Speaker 1: What does that even mean? Man?
Speaker 2: No, it's like that. It feels like someone is stabbing
Speaker 2: a knife on your up your asshole and it goes
Speaker 2: up into your guts. It's crazy. It's like it hurts
Speaker 2: so bad for like one second. And every once in
Speaker 2: a while, like maybe once every three or four months,
Speaker 2: it'll happen where it like happens a bunch and it's like,
Speaker 2: what the fuck is going on? I'm dying.
Speaker 1: Have you had your prostate checked?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: You had to do that.
Speaker 2: No, I'm not old as fuck. That's like, actually dudes
Speaker 2: are getting prostate cancer younger and younger.
Speaker 1: Now, m h, it's the it's the microplastics.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there was reasoning behind it. I think it literally
Speaker 2: is that or it's no, it is no, I swear
Speaker 2: to god it is. It was nicotine. It was like
Speaker 2: the increased use of nicotine in like younger, there is
Speaker 2: not because if you if you break down the amount
Speaker 2: of nicotine in a puff bar compared to like the
Speaker 2: amount of nicotine and the cigarettes our parents were smoking,
Speaker 2: it's like four times the amount and like one puff
Speaker 2: bar like as one pack. Yeah, like you're smoking like
Speaker 2: a pack a day. Basically, It's crazy.
Speaker 1: That's what was shocking when people were like, like a cigarette, I'm.
Speaker 2: Like, I'm analog.
Speaker 1: Hello, I'm just like you are judging me. Girl, You're
Speaker 1: smoking leachy puff bar martini on the rocks.
Speaker 2: Like Okay, Leachy is over. She's been over like me.
Speaker 1: When I was trying to like, I was like I
Speaker 1: can get a puff bar, like I can't put bar
Speaker 1: like my friends, and I went out of leach Ice
Speaker 1: and all of them made fun of me, and I
Speaker 1: was like, you know what, I actually don't even need this,
Speaker 1: like you fucking freaks.
Speaker 2: Anyways, it was like the worst flavor ever invented. I
Speaker 2: think lush Ice was a very big, big moment, obviously.
Speaker 1: I think that's what I was trying to gagering lush ice.
Speaker 2: Because Leachy's gray and scary. It tastes like the color gray.
Speaker 2: It's crazy.
Speaker 1: But yeah. Then I came home and then after like
Speaker 1: our little walk, we were watching Saw. And while we
Speaker 1: were watching it, I turned everybody. I was like, wait,
Speaker 1: I need everybody to go up and like do your
Speaker 1: self tape, like you're trying to get into this movie
Speaker 1: right now, Like what is your self tape that you're.
Speaker 2: Turning in while I was having an anxiety.
Speaker 1: Attacking, which I didn't contemplate because that was after the walk,
Speaker 1: so I thought you were like chilling like post that.
Speaker 1: I oh, but we like me and Ryan did a
Speaker 1: scene where it was like she had to kill me,
Speaker 1: but like we were still best friends in the scene
Speaker 1: and that we were like yelling like please don't and
Speaker 1: it just got real. Literally both of us tear it
Speaker 1: up because we were like, why did that feel real?
Speaker 1: Like I like and I was like, dude, you wouldn't
Speaker 1: be able to kill me. She was like, I don't
Speaker 1: think I could. And then we had a bonding moment
Speaker 1: because we were like, I don't think I could.
Speaker 2: I could kill you. Oh, I could kill her easily,
Speaker 2: I had before.
Speaker 1: I've killed your ego.
Speaker 2: How about that, I've killed your pride. Your pride is damning.
Speaker 2: This shirt I got from Japan. It's an Astro boy
Speaker 2: front print with the cybernetic print on the back you
Speaker 2: can't see and I don't care, but yeah, that's kind
Speaker 2: of like the vibe lately, you know what I have
Speaker 2: been thinking about that I think is so fucking cute
Speaker 2: and I'm so happy we do it and me even
Speaker 2: like saying anything about it. It's gonna make it awkward now,
Speaker 2: but the fact that every single night we say love
Speaker 2: you to each other is so important to me, and
Speaker 2: I will never do it again after this moment because
Speaker 2: it's going to be like forced, but like it's very no.
Speaker 1: I literally don't believe in going to bed in a
Speaker 1: house with people without being either saying good night or
Speaker 1: love you.
Speaker 2: It's important because I.
Speaker 1: Was taught high super sistition that someone would come in
Speaker 1: and kill all of us and then you would have
Speaker 1: not say I love you, and your parents would be dead.
Speaker 1: Knock on wood, knock on woodknock on wood.
Speaker 2: That's literally why I say it, because I'm like, what
Speaker 2: if she dies in her sleep?
Speaker 1: I know, I'm like, what if I get killed? Sometimes
Speaker 1: when I go to bed, I'm like, damn, there's a
Speaker 1: chance somebody comes in this house of fucking stousany tonight.
Speaker 2: The craziest thing is it feels like this episode has
Speaker 2: been four hours and it's only twenty five minutes.
Speaker 1: Twenty five minutes. Yeah, that's still pretty like crazy because
Speaker 1: I don't feel like I've talked for twenty five minutes.
Speaker 1: But speaking of death, we we've talked about like how
Speaker 1: we just like have no like fight in us, like no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: famish no, nothing, like I can't survive. I'll like, I'll
Speaker 1: I'll take myself.
Speaker 2: I will blow myself.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I was thinking about it.
Speaker 2: I was like I like skinny in the famine. That's
Speaker 2: like a.
Speaker 1: Plus, bro, but like it literally like you probably won't
Speaker 1: have Instagram, so now like it's like what's the point. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like you literally also like you won't have post.
Speaker 2: I'll be skinny in the commune. I'll be the skinniest
Speaker 2: in the commune, the village.
Speaker 1: But when I was with I want to read what
Speaker 1: I wrote because like, I don't know when I wrote this.
Speaker 1: Let's see, the last time I updated this was at
Speaker 1: one fifty three am a night two nights ago. I said,
Speaker 1: I like need to die a peaceful death because I
Speaker 1: would be so pissed if I'm dying in a scenario
Speaker 1: where I'm fighting for my life because I can't fight,
Speaker 1: and I feel like I say this all the time,
Speaker 1: but it pisses me off. Also, if I was in
Speaker 1: a life or desk situation where I had to take
Speaker 1: orders from somebody, I think I would just die. Like
Speaker 1: I forgot what I was watching. I think I was
Speaker 1: watching something where it was bitch. I was watching one
Speaker 1: of the plane crash things where like the two pilots
Speaker 1: like were talking to each other and telling each other
Speaker 1: what to do, and I was like, that would piss
Speaker 1: me off so fucking bad, like you think I'm not
Speaker 1: trying to do my best to save my own life
Speaker 1: right now. Like yeah, if I'm just like in a
Speaker 1: scenario where it's like.
Speaker 2: Put me in a situation. Ever, literally never put.
Speaker 1: Me in a situation. It will be put me in
Speaker 1: a situation. Yeah, Like my God, that would like actually
Speaker 1: piss me the fuck off. If I was in a
Speaker 1: burning house and somebody was like do this, like stop
Speaker 1: dropping a dumb like are you dumb? Guess what now,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna like get the fabri that's in the house
Speaker 1: and start fucking spraying you bitch, so that I could
Speaker 1: torture to that because you're but yeah, I just I can't.
Speaker 1: I can't be in that kind of life or this situation.
Speaker 1: I just need to like die like in my sleep
Speaker 1: or something.
Speaker 2: Yeah, trying to think how I want to die. I
Speaker 2: don't want to die. I'm afraid of death. I'm afraid
Speaker 2: of what comes after death. I like, actually, I take
Speaker 2: that back. I'm so okay with it. And if I
Speaker 2: died in this moment, if God smited me and exploded
Speaker 2: me and got it on camera one, I would be
Speaker 2: ig and Twitter famous like a trend in number one.
Speaker 2: It would be fucking lit and because I would post it,
Speaker 2: it would be the most iconic video of all time.
Speaker 2: Like this dude talking about wanting to die get smited
Speaker 2: by God and explodes on camera and it's uploaded. Dude.
Speaker 1: The thing is I would fly out to New York
Speaker 1: literally right after this and go be on Good Morning
Speaker 1: America tomorrow morning. Like it would be that instant for me,
Speaker 1: Like I would just like get.
Speaker 2: You, would have it made.
Speaker 1: My PR team would be on it. It would be like,
Speaker 1: all right, so here's can we make money off of Yeah,
Speaker 1: like how can we get this trending? How can we
Speaker 1: make this a trend?
Speaker 2: You can make a gofund me for my family, but
Speaker 2: then keep it for yourself.
Speaker 1: I was already that was like I like, thank you,
Speaker 1: but like that.
Speaker 2: Was I've been seeing this like trend where it's like
Speaker 2: if I die, like all of my friends can just
Speaker 2: completely lie on my name, like on everything and tell
Speaker 2: the most vile lie ever, Like you can do it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we also need to revert back to like the
Speaker 1: mall shopping has gone to the like the internet and.
Speaker 2: Like e commerce is over.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like we need to kill off e commerce other
Speaker 1: than when we drop merch. Come on, like, yeah together,
Speaker 1: we do not fall under this role. But ar like
Speaker 1: my case, Like you can still buy my case. It's okay,
Speaker 1: But we need to go back to the mall because
Speaker 1: the day the ball that.
Speaker 2: Was that was, I'm not kidding, one of the best
Speaker 2: days of my entire life, if not, no, no, no, of
Speaker 2: my year, if not in my entire life, Like just
Speaker 2: going around being like Papa to all my high friends
Speaker 2: and like going in and out of these stores and
Speaker 2: being crazy. We walked into the dice and vacuum style
Speaker 2: and it was so much fun to just fucking literally
Speaker 2: they have like dust and dirt to throw on the
Speaker 2: fucking ground and they like literally getting it. They I
Speaker 2: don't know, they like pour dust and dirt all over
Speaker 2: the floor and then you can practice vacuuming or see
Speaker 2: which vacuum you like the most. And we were doing
Speaker 2: that and having like a fucking goof and a blast
Speaker 2: and a ball, and the dude noticed that they were
Speaker 2: all like super fucking stoned out of their mind, and
Speaker 2: I watched the thought click in his head and he
Speaker 2: brought out next He was like, oh you like this,
Speaker 2: Wait till you see this and he was like this
Speaker 2: one has a laser and then everyone's like, oh, oh
Speaker 2: my fucking god, laser vacuum.
Speaker 1: And then I started to get excessension. I was like,
Speaker 1: this is too much, like me to the worker, as
Speaker 1: if he like had anything to do with like what
Speaker 1: vacuums have become. I was like, honestly, this is too much,
Speaker 1: Like this is pushing it, Like all of this is
Speaker 1: pushing it, Like why am I going into a Dyson
Speaker 1: store and like playing like pimp my ride like it's
Speaker 1: a Tesla shop. Like it literally feels like being in
Speaker 1: a Tesla store. It's like I want the the Matt
Speaker 1: chrome for the bar, and then I want my laser
Speaker 1: to be pink fluorescent pink. Like that's just like too much.
Speaker 1: But it was the most fun shit ever. Also low key.
Speaker 1: They are just making you do their cleanup.
Speaker 5: Job, like oh yeah, I was thinking about that, and.
Speaker 1: Then you were like while I was doing it, because
Speaker 1: also I was the little test monkey. He was being
Speaker 1: like like pushing the vacuum around, which was so lit
Speaker 1: all eyes on me, really party vibe. But we are
Speaker 1: such fucking losers, I know.
Speaker 2: What, Like there's no way anybody is listening to this
Speaker 2: and enjoying this out. What we need to do is
Speaker 2: get American girl dolls. Those are fucking lit. But that's
Speaker 2: another conversation.
Speaker 1: I never had American girl dolls though. I was just
Speaker 1: like a brass kind of girl. Like that was like
Speaker 1: where m hm, my dolls went right right right right.
Speaker 2: I was like a G I Joe.
Speaker 1: Yeah, guy, a g I Joe. And then you would
Speaker 1: get your care bears like invaults in what way.
Speaker 2: They would just play? I know I did. I literally,
Speaker 2: I'm not joking. I would play with my sister's barbies.
Speaker 2: I'm not joking. They would be under her bed in
Speaker 2: her bedroom, and like a giant seven, you would play
Speaker 2: with that because.
Speaker 1: You would make the G I Joe and the Barbie hop.
Speaker 2: Sea No, I would make the I would play with
Speaker 2: their boobs on the Barbie dolls and I would just
Speaker 2: like make them like eat each other out and ship.
Speaker 2: It was like so fucking hot. But I would literally
Speaker 2: play with barbies. It was. It was a crazy fucking vibe.
Speaker 2: And I would do it in secrecy because I knew
Speaker 2: if anybody saw me doing it, I would get in
Speaker 2: so much trouble.
Speaker 1: And why though, because toys should be for everybody. We
Speaker 1: should literally every episode just drop like the most basic
Speaker 1: like they like like girls should have respect. M M.
Speaker 1: I'm saying that, like you you don't do that every episode.
Speaker 1: You have done that every single episode since we started
Speaker 1: to say the obvious and be like yeah, I said, it's.
Speaker 2: Just something I've been thinking, like, way, you should smile more.
Speaker 1: No, No, that's not a good one, Like that's not.
Speaker 2: If you're depressed, just smile.
Speaker 1: No dude, Okay, Well, well, like see, mine was a
Speaker 1: banger because it was like this idea that like toys
Speaker 1: do not necessarily lie within gender, and like gender norms
Speaker 1: are odd. So mine was like a positive take, but
Speaker 1: yours is like this like really weird take that, like
Speaker 1: women should just be expected to be standing objects to
Speaker 1: look good.
Speaker 2: Yeah I don't. I don't see a problem with that.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, So girls.
Speaker 2: Like think I have vaginas and booms that Chipotle is
Speaker 2: in my stomach digestion.
Speaker 1: I knew it. I knew with Drew. I got a
Speaker 1: Chipotle bewl for me and Drew to share because I
Speaker 1: think about my friends, and I was like, I don't
Speaker 1: I'm not going to finish this whole bow. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: leave the rest for Drew, and he picked. He had
Speaker 1: the audacity to pick it up thirty minutes ago. That
Speaker 1: would be my big fat ass.
Speaker 2: That would be my big fat ass. That would be
Speaker 2: my big fat ass.
Speaker 1: You're like really good at it, like scares me. But
Speaker 1: he had the audacity to pick it up thirty minutes ago,
Speaker 1: as if it doesn't take him two to three hours
Speaker 1: to digest anything that goes into his body since he
Speaker 1: has a concave thick layer of resin from his puff
Speaker 1: bar red forty dye from all the candies and fruit
Speaker 1: to syrup. Oh wait, what, you have a hard shell
Speaker 1: of semen lining your stomach?
Speaker 2: Bro?
Speaker 1: If I got shot by like somebody, it wouldn't even
Speaker 1: penetrate me because I just have like a thick layer
Speaker 1: of semen all over my body at every waking moment.
Speaker 1: I used to not take a shower after having sex.
Speaker 2: Which is fucking crazy.
Speaker 1: No, but I always pee like I've never had a UTI,
Speaker 1: never had a UTI club. Not many people can say
Speaker 1: that I am a champion. That's different, though, because that
Speaker 1: lies on my partners being dirty, nasty monsters, and I
Speaker 1: will continue to fuck them though, because it's good that
Speaker 1: goes out to you, you know who you are. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I just used to just go to sleep. I used
Speaker 1: to go pee and then be like, I'm going to see.
Speaker 2: Now I cannot believe that.
Speaker 1: And then I had the audacity to be like, do
Speaker 1: not fucking sit on my can that's.
Speaker 2: What you like, don't get an Inya's bed after anytime.
Speaker 2: Don't just don't do it. It's all sticky and hard and.
Speaker 1: Like if you want to go take a dive onto
Speaker 1: my bed, your head would hit it and you would
Speaker 1: be concussive.
Speaker 2: You know, you know, you know how like people awas
Speaker 2: like if you like jump into water from like forty
Speaker 2: feet or above, like it feels like concrete. That's how
Speaker 2: your bed feels from four inches you jump onto it. Okay,
Speaker 2: something no one is talking about, and it's actually it
Speaker 2: blows my fucking mind that I did this, and it's
Speaker 2: not a conversation being had at all, but the way
Speaker 2: I fucking predicted everything everywhere, all at once. Actually I
Speaker 2: would even go as far as saying inspired it and
Speaker 2: gave them the entire idea to the movie You were crazy,
Speaker 2: because I literally did. And we'll watch the clip right now.
Speaker 1: Play the clip play the clip.
Speaker 2: I'm about to try for the first time, wish me luck.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, like you see everything, I was literally
Speaker 2: everywhere and everything all at once. Just now. I think
Speaker 2: I just experienced what it was like to be gone. Yep, okay,
Speaker 2: so let's jump in. I'm a fucking genius and everything
Speaker 2: I do is really important. And I'm sure future directors, writers, actors,
Speaker 2: whatever you are watching this, Like, I'm sure I've had
Speaker 2: so many moments on this podcast where you're like, damn,
Speaker 2: he's a fucking genius and then it sprung a thought
Speaker 2: into your brain and you've written entire script about it.
Speaker 2: Give me my fucking flowers. I don't I don't need money.
Speaker 2: I don't want the money. But like, bro, that's the
Speaker 2: Daniel Brothers.
Speaker 1: What you want.
Speaker 2: The Daniel Brothers even stole my fucking middle name, like
Speaker 2: it's crazy, Like I gave them the movie and they
Speaker 2: took my middle name. Like wait, what y'all are fucking crazy?
Speaker 2: I'm done?
Speaker 1: Wait?
Speaker 2: Who everything everywhere at once? I think they're the Daniel Brothers,
Speaker 2: the Daniel Phillips. No, Andrew Daniel Phillips. Their name is
Speaker 2: the Daniel Brothers.
Speaker 1: What does that have to do with you.
Speaker 2: They stole my fucking middle name.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, okay, damn bunk middle name. If I'm being honest,
Speaker 1: But I love you and that's all that matters.
Speaker 2: Should we say yours out loud?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm gonna leak that ship. Oh fuck, that fucking
Speaker 2: directed everything everywhere all at once.
Speaker 1: Probably your mom after having sex with me, because she's
Speaker 1: so inspired because of house good sex with me?
Speaker 2: Is that's impossible?
Speaker 1: Have I ever told the bob odenkirk uh.
Speaker 2: I don't think so, daughter story. No, maybe maybe while
Speaker 2: we were in New York. Maybe if we haven't, let
Speaker 2: us know, we'll tell it another time.
Speaker 1: And if you're listening, hi, we're airing.
Speaker 2: Your shit out. I don't think there was something I
Speaker 2: talked about when we recorded the Scrapped episode in Japan
Speaker 2: that I was like, Oh, I want to talk about
Speaker 2: that now. Oh the dude who lived in my house
Speaker 2: for like years and no one said anything. We basically
Speaker 2: had a squatter in my fucking house for like what
Speaker 2: felt like years, And I can talk about this shit
Speaker 2: because it was actually really scary and he would like off.
Speaker 2: It was literally like a parasite vibe, like he was
Speaker 2: like the movie parasite, Like he was a fucking parasite
Speaker 2: in our house, and he would like offer my parents
Speaker 2: to smoke crack out of like pinfoil tie. I know,
Speaker 2: I know, but I'm saying like it was basically felt
Speaker 2: like someone was living under your own yeah, and he
Speaker 2: couldn't get him out of the fucking house, And like
Speaker 2: just funny to think about. There's so many things that
Speaker 2: happened in my fucking childhood that like are so insane,
Speaker 2: but they were so normal to me because I was
Speaker 2: experiencing them, and I was just like, Oh, everyone experiences this, right,
Speaker 2: But then I grew up and I'm like, oh, that
Speaker 2: was fucking crazy. Like they're like there's so much shit
Speaker 2: that I literally just can't even talk about because I'm like,
Speaker 2: that is so insane, and someone will get in trouble,
Speaker 2: but that is just one of those moments where I'm like,
Speaker 2: why didn't my parents just fucking kick him out? But
Speaker 2: he was like refusing to leave. We literally had a
Speaker 2: squadron in our house, and no one wants to interviewed
Speaker 2: me about it, ask me questions about it. You can
Speaker 2: ask me anything, yeah, anything.
Speaker 1: How long was he there?
Speaker 2: A little over a year?
Speaker 1: Did you miss him when he was gone at first
Speaker 1: and said not at all.
Speaker 2: He stole things from me and sold them on eBay
Speaker 2: baseball bat, baseball glove.
Speaker 1: That's honestly, Yeah, did you know you didn't need that?
Speaker 2: I did. Did you know on eBay? If you sell
Speaker 2: one item and it's over six hundred dollars, now you
Speaker 2: get a ninety nine K form that if you don't
Speaker 2: file with the government that you can, you're basically committing
Speaker 2: tax frauds. So if you saw it, yeah, it's one item,
Speaker 2: and if you sell more than you see twenty five
Speaker 2: thousand dollars and like six hundred items, Like, no one's
Speaker 2: actually doing that except for like people who know what
Speaker 2: they're doing. Just a little fun fact, so be careful
Speaker 2: the deep hop girlies out there.
Speaker 1: You're over, You're done, and I'm snitching. Next person who
Speaker 1: highballs are like, is over selling something for more than
Speaker 1: it's reports? Oh oh, you think you think you're about
Speaker 1: to get eighty dollars or your ed hardy zip up.
Speaker 1: But what you're gonna get is a seasoned assist and
Speaker 1: a notation from the IRS saying.
Speaker 2: You owe eight hundred dollars for unpaid taxes. Let's talk
Speaker 2: about it, let's talk about it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and next next time somebody declines my low ball,
Speaker 1: you're done. I recently had to make a new account
Speaker 1: because I was like, damn, how embarrassing if somebody like
Speaker 1: outs me for low balling the fuck out of because honestly,
Speaker 1: at this point, I do it for fun, Like if
Speaker 1: I'm being honest like high, it's like fun and I
Speaker 1: know it's like awful and in a noise people, because
Speaker 1: I have a homieho sells shit all the time, and
Speaker 1: it's like, that is the worst shit ever when somebody
Speaker 1: like low balls the fuck out of me, because I
Speaker 1: know they're just trolling and pushing their luck, that would
Speaker 1: be me.
Speaker 2: It takes one to know one.
Speaker 1: It's fun. It's fun, like you really, That's the funny thing.
Speaker 1: Is you really think I'm about to spend five hundred
Speaker 1: dollars on your beat up, stinky, fucking ballerina flats. Nope,
Speaker 1: if I'm high, I just might.
Speaker 2: I was about to say, you have bought like eighteen
Speaker 2: pairs of those things and they I need to stop.
Speaker 1: I need to stop it.
Speaker 2: The ballet addiction.
Speaker 1: The ballet flat specifically like has such.
Speaker 2: A grip on this croquette as fuck.
Speaker 3: Bro.
Speaker 1: You always say croquette, but you mean coquette. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: Like I wish I had powers.
Speaker 2: And I could just I have so much shit to
Speaker 2: talk about. It's crazy, and I talk about two things
Speaker 2: and you've been dead silent. Okay.
Speaker 1: My friend sent me a picture of bad Baby and
Speaker 1: said Drew said any and Miami, and then our friend
Speaker 1: said Anya, she didn't find the nineteen seventy five.
Speaker 2: Okay. But I don't need to be real. I need
Speaker 2: to be Coca Cola.
Speaker 1: I hate that that's something you You're like, I have
Speaker 1: so many things to talk about, like so much to
Speaker 1: get my plan.
Speaker 2: I don't need to be real. I need to be
Speaker 2: Coca Cola. I don't need to be real.
Speaker 1: I need to be.
Speaker 2: Euthanized. She was fucking spitting when she said I need
Speaker 2: to be Coca Cola, because like, have you ever had Yes,
Speaker 2: have you ever had a Coca Cola before? That's all
Speaker 2: you need to know to fuck.
Speaker 1: Like, Oh, I'm gonna attack you. You are so beautiful. Oh.
Speaker 2: We started talking about this at the very end of
Speaker 2: the last episode. We've been way too much together and
Speaker 2: I don't know how we're not bored of each other yet.
Speaker 2: It's crazy. I know. Lately there's been like a little
Speaker 2: bit of tension between No No, like a little tension,
Speaker 2: but like it's like not even noticeable enough. It's just
Speaker 2: like we need our space. We need to go back
Speaker 2: to Texas. You need to go back to Miami.
Speaker 1: I do feel it like we're both at the point
Speaker 1: where like the slightest thing to one another it's like okay,
Speaker 1: and it's like.
Speaker 2: I just I'm not I am not engaging in this,
Speaker 2: or we'll call each other out on our bullshit way more.
Speaker 2: But it's like fun. It's like fun. But yeah, like
Speaker 2: you know what, it's toxico.
Speaker 1: We should get those on.
Speaker 2: I want that so.
Speaker 1: Bad next time the fair comes around. You don't have
Speaker 1: MYSA top our Shirtsxico. But we oh wait, somebody somebody
Speaker 1: posted and was like this is me and you and
Speaker 1: it's like chis moosa virus instead of coronavirus. That's literally
Speaker 1: just in case you didn't know, it was a reference
Speaker 1: to coronavirus.
Speaker 2: I got it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, yeah, sure. But you know what it shows
Speaker 1: the most is in the car, and that's what I
Speaker 1: was leading into in the last episode. It's like in
Speaker 1: the car, that's when I realized, like, damn, we don't
Speaker 1: have ship to say to each other anymore, because like, look.
Speaker 2: At that Toyota. Look at that n Oh my god.
Speaker 1: The new Volkswagon. Yeah wow wow, it almost has the
Speaker 1: body of an Audie. That's fair.
Speaker 2: It's really interesting because like Audi and Volkswagen are owned
Speaker 2: by the same people now, like Audio owns Volkswagens, so
Speaker 2: like their cars are just basically cheaper Audies. Yeah, oh,
Speaker 2: you know what I just thought about, Audie, suck my
Speaker 2: fucking balls.
Speaker 1: It's funny because the people who would even correct you
Speaker 1: probably don't have the car, like oh oh oh the
Speaker 1: thing in the car back to the car is because
Speaker 1: we were talking about that. I just thought of this
Speaker 1: as one of the tension moments where like I neither
Speaker 1: of us spoke, but like I or it was just
Speaker 1: me being annoyed, because I was just like annoyed. But
Speaker 1: it was like we were driving and we were twelve
Speaker 1: minutes away from the garden, and I was like text
Speaker 1: a rund that we're twelve minutes away, but you were
Speaker 1: in the middle of telling me something looking something up
Speaker 1: and you go yeah, okay, and then like I saw
Speaker 1: that you weren't doing it. I was like, no, tell her,
Speaker 1: We're told minutes away, and you were like yeah, after this,
Speaker 1: and then you kept talking and I could feel like
Speaker 1: the slightest budget of tension because I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you were going for we are going. You were going
Speaker 1: forth on, like looking your thing up, and I don't
Speaker 1: even know what we were talking about what we were
Speaker 1: looking at.
Speaker 2: See, that's why we're spending too much time together because
Speaker 2: we don't even know what we fucking talk about anymore.
Speaker 2: Like I actually couldn't tell you what we were talking
Speaker 2: about three minutes.
Speaker 1: Well, no, that's because you have object permanence and issues
Speaker 1: of that nature, because you have mental disorders.
Speaker 5: And that's the difference. That's the word between us is
Speaker 5: I wake up and I'm normal, and you you wake
Speaker 5: up and you're so confused and you forget everything you
Speaker 5: have to do all the time because you have issues.
Speaker 2: And that is us talking to you. ADHD freak bitches
Speaker 2: out there. If you have ADHD, you fucking disgusted me.
Speaker 2: Let's talk to there. You are losers people who have ADHD.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel bad for them.
Speaker 2: I feel bad for you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, I literally can't imagine a life where I
Speaker 1: don't forget something immediately, Like I literally crave that so much,
Speaker 1: but I don't plan.
Speaker 2: I need ADHD to survive. Like if I didn't have it,
Speaker 2: like I actually don't know what I would be, it
Speaker 2: would be so you would probably be normal in Texas.
Speaker 1: And you would be like happy, yeah, yeah, right right right.
Speaker 2: Damn this shit got dark though. Well wait wait wait
Speaker 2: wait wait wait, let's see. Let's look read one more
Speaker 2: thing from my list. Umm Drake album mid Us Fuck yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: umm oh this is a good one. There are siduals
Speaker 2: everywhere inside your iPhones. Demonic presence throwing them away. They're
Speaker 2: mind control only podcasts out to listen to emergency intercom
Speaker 2: Without us, you will fail. But there are siduals inside
Speaker 2: your iPhone. Look at this. Let me show you. It's
Speaker 2: really interesting. Actually, schedule iPhone motherboard.
Speaker 1: Oh my fucking stomach hurts so bad. I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: my stomach hurts, and it's because I had McDonald's last night,
Speaker 1: Taco Bell and then Chipotle today. Like I actually treat
Speaker 1: my body like I'm fucking thirteen or something.
Speaker 2: It's so disgusting and we have no control over ourselves.
Speaker 2: It's really really bad. Where the fun I like, throw your.
Speaker 1: iPhone dot that on the plane in Japan.
Speaker 2: I forgot I did that. I air dropped this photo
Speaker 2: to like two hundred people on the airplane. They have
Speaker 2: no idea what this means.
Speaker 1: I would not know what the fuck I was looking
Speaker 1: at if that was sent to me. Oh, to circle
Speaker 1: back to you saying, why is every video of people cheating,
Speaker 1: like confronting their cheating partner in the car? You know
Speaker 1: what it is is a big sign if you are
Speaker 1: your I think I said this. If you're your boyfriend
Speaker 1: or girlfriend or partner's chauffeur, that already is a bad sign.
Speaker 1: But specifically, like if you are dating a man and
Speaker 1: like you're driving him around, he's a cheater, like he's
Speaker 1: bounced cheat. And then somebody said, oh, so we fully
Speaker 1: said this, but I'm only repeating that to get to
Speaker 1: my next point. Somebody made a comment about this, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, this, fingernails taste good right now, I know
Speaker 1: they taste salty and gross and brind your fingers brind
Speaker 1: because you don't good. But somebody was like, oh, if
Speaker 1: your boyfriend doesn't automatically give you the booth seat, he
Speaker 1: doesn't give a fuck. About you and he's in a
Speaker 1: cheat on you and that's like, yeah, that's how you
Speaker 1: know he's gonna cheat on you if that's the case.
Speaker 1: And I just thought to bring that back up because
Speaker 1: it is true. Like if I am going out to
Speaker 1: eat with you and you're not giving me the booth automatically, bitch,
Speaker 1: that's it.
Speaker 2: And I need the booth. I need the booth with
Speaker 2: my back facing the wall so I can protect everyone.
Speaker 2: I'm not kidding. I'm like a fucking dog or a cat,
Speaker 2: Like I have to be in the corner of the
Speaker 2: room so I can see everything I hate with my
Speaker 2: back facing the door and all the windows out to
Speaker 2: the street, because how do you know when the killer
Speaker 2: is coming in.
Speaker 1: The killer tonight? That's kind of my.
Speaker 2: That is it's so fucking expensive, though.
Speaker 1: I know it is. Really, I didn't realize how expensive
Speaker 1: it was until we went that last time. Now we
Speaker 1: used to like really run Typhus be our spot for
Speaker 1: a second.
Speaker 2: No rights, it should be uh get into media right
Speaker 2: right right? Okay? For music, I have angel Core Part
Speaker 2: two by Team Mechano. Oh wait, where is it? Unlinking
Speaker 2: by tech Lindo and uh in between a Mason's Mansions
Speaker 2: in between a mansion's gates. Arrow grows, m Um. Those
Speaker 2: are more schizophrenic music that I really love. Oh it is, Oh,
Speaker 2: it literally is. And then for shows, I've been watching
Speaker 2: Yu Gi O g X and it's been terrible. That
Speaker 2: show fucking sucks and I'm addicted to it and I
Speaker 2: love it and I watch it every single night over
Speaker 2: and over again. It's really bad for me, and it
Speaker 2: makes me want to play Yu gi Oh, which is
Speaker 2: the entire point of the show where I'm like, Oh,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna buy U gi oh cards and play Yu
Speaker 2: gi Oh, But I know I would do it for
Speaker 2: five seconds and get bored like everything I do, because
Speaker 2: my brain is fucking awful and I can't do anything
Speaker 2: for more than five minutes without getting bored of it.
Speaker 2: And I have no passions anymore, and nothing excites me,
Speaker 2: and I have zero pleasure in anything that I used
Speaker 2: to have pleasure doing.
Speaker 1: Just play Fortnite.
Speaker 2: Getting a win in Fortnite is better than orgasmine. No,
Speaker 2: it literally is.
Speaker 1: It is, genuinely because you know what, like I could
Speaker 1: see if like the if the orgasm happened after forty
Speaker 1: minutes of foreplay, that is the equivalenta of a Fortnite win. Yeah,
Speaker 1: a Fortnite win is just like insane amount of like
Speaker 1: for play to the point where you're like, I don't
Speaker 1: even have to bone.
Speaker 2: You, Like I can leave now literally anytime I've ever
Speaker 2: had sex?
Speaker 1: Is that all right?
Speaker 2: Well your media, baby?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I just don't think you guys deserve that
Speaker 1: right now. So okay, Mine is My Life by Billy Joel.
Speaker 1: I'm still listening to Amplified Heart a lot by Everything,
Speaker 1: but the Girl, which has been making my lis my
Speaker 1: Discover weekly has sucked fucking balls the past two weeks.
Speaker 1: And I don't understand because, like I've been listening to
Speaker 1: like good music, and I think Spotify just has no
Speaker 1: idea what to give me anymore. It's like, girl, you
Speaker 1: have like gone to the Earth's end of the genres
Speaker 1: you like, like just shut the fuck up. And that's
Speaker 1: what it feels like, Spotify saying, yeah, it's like you
Speaker 1: need oh you need more. I'm so sure you need more.
Speaker 1: But oops by eight to Wait, State b York, I
Speaker 1: Choose You. Chicago Gangsters Leap Day Night Scene one David Berman.
Speaker 1: Nothing Natural by Lush Intercalaectic Love Song the duties and
Speaker 1: paid Douglas boom by boom bye bye Drew. Oh, Drew disappeared,
Speaker 1: He vanished. Drew did his mass vanishing act. Oh, you're
Speaker 1: trying to put me bitch. I knew it. It was what.
Speaker 1: That was what Drew dude. Yes, it was catiful