WEBVTT - Invite people into your world

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,

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<v Speaker 1>This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's

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<v Speaker 1>tip is to invite people into your world. Let the

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<v Speaker 1>people you love see your life in all its fullness,

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<v Speaker 1>and you will all feel much closer. And Ada Calhoun's

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<v Speaker 1>book of essays about marriage called Wedding Toasts I'll Never Give,

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<v Speaker 1>She describes how when her son and his friends are

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<v Speaker 1>playing Minecraft, they ask each other, do you want to

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<v Speaker 1>come into my world? You can play Minecraft independently, but

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<v Speaker 1>you can also invite friends to join you in your

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<v Speaker 1>world so that you can play together and show what

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<v Speaker 1>you've created. If you think about it, do you want

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<v Speaker 1>to come into my world? Is a lovely invitation for

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<v Speaker 1>many non Minecraft occasions. Hearing her son invite his friends

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<v Speaker 1>into his Minecraft world prompted Calhoun to reflect on how

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<v Speaker 1>hard it is, in marriage and other relationships to truly

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<v Speaker 1>see and understand other people's worlds. For spouses, friends, parents

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<v Speaker 1>and children, teachers and students, businesses and customers, and so forth,

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<v Speaker 1>it is so important and so hard to truly understand

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<v Speaker 1>the other person's perspective, and yet we all want to

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<v Speaker 1>be seen and understood, so invite the people you love

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<v Speaker 1>into your world. Tell your partner about what it was

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<v Speaker 1>like for you to go to a reading by your

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<v Speaker 1>favorite poet, even if you know he has no interest

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<v Speaker 1>in poetry, because he is interested in you. Take your

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<v Speaker 1>kids to your college reunion so that they can see

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<v Speaker 1>a place that was formative to you and can meet

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<v Speaker 1>your old friends. Even if your work best friend doesn't

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<v Speaker 1>have kids herself, tell her about how you've finally built

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<v Speaker 1>a good kid bedtime routine. She will likely value the

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<v Speaker 1>window into your life and cheer you on in this success.

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<v Speaker 1>If your workplace hosts take our daughters and sons to workday,

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<v Speaker 1>well take your daughters and sons to work. Let them

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<v Speaker 1>see what you do and who you're with when you

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<v Speaker 1>are not with them. By inviting other people to join

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<v Speaker 1>in your experiences, or by describing your experiences to them,

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<v Speaker 1>you can welcome them into your world. Now, of course,

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<v Speaker 1>this process shouldn't go only in one direction. You should

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<v Speaker 1>let other people invite you into their worlds too. Make

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<v Speaker 1>it easy for them. Listen, ask questions, observe. Don't assume

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<v Speaker 1>that another person's experience and perspective are the same as yours.

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<v Speaker 1>Ask your spouse if you can join him for a

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<v Speaker 1>hike on Saturday, even if that's not necessarily your thing.

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<v Speaker 1>If your mother in law plays trivia every week, accompany

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<v Speaker 1>her on occasion. See if you can understand what makes

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<v Speaker 1>her enjoy it and get to know her a little

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<v Speaker 1>better in the process. If your daughter loves acting, ask

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<v Speaker 1>her what it's like for her to perform in front

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<v Speaker 1>of a theater full of people. Invite her to tell

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<v Speaker 1>you about the process of preparing for a new role.

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<v Speaker 1>Part of what I love about the mommy days I

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<v Speaker 1>do each summer with each of my kids is that

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<v Speaker 1>I join them in something that they love. When someone

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<v Speaker 1>you love invites you into their world, accept their invitation

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<v Speaker 1>if you possibly can. Often an invitation to go to

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<v Speaker 1>the lake, or to the nail salon, or to a

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<v Speaker 1>dance performance. Maybe less about the destination and more about

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<v Speaker 1>joining a person who's important to you in a place

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<v Speaker 1>or activity that's important to them and that is well

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<v Speaker 1>worth your time. In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks

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<v Speaker 1>for listening, and here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody,

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<v Speaker 1>I'd love to hear from you. You can send me

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<v Speaker 1>your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with

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<v Speaker 1>me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram at before Breakfast pod.

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<v Speaker 1>That's b the number four than Breakfast pod. You can

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<v Speaker 1>also shoot me an email at before Breakfast podcast. At

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<v Speaker 1>iHeartMedia dot com that before Breakfast is spelled out with

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<v Speaker 1>all the letters. Thanks so much. Should I look forward

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<v Speaker 1>to staying touch. Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartRadio.

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