1 00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:09,440 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning, 2 00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:16,680 Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's 3 00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:21,840 Speaker 1: tip is to invite people into your world. Let the 4 00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:25,680 Speaker 1: people you love see your life in all its fullness, 5 00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:32,280 Speaker 1: and you will all feel much closer. And Ada Calhoun's 6 00:00:32,280 --> 00:00:35,960 Speaker 1: book of essays about marriage called Wedding Toasts I'll Never Give, 7 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:39,879 Speaker 1: She describes how when her son and his friends are 8 00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:44,000 Speaker 1: playing Minecraft, they ask each other, do you want to 9 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:49,320 Speaker 1: come into my world? You can play Minecraft independently, but 10 00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:51,919 Speaker 1: you can also invite friends to join you in your 11 00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:55,760 Speaker 1: world so that you can play together and show what 12 00:00:55,800 --> 00:01:00,279 Speaker 1: you've created. If you think about it, do you want 13 00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:03,520 Speaker 1: to come into my world? Is a lovely invitation for 14 00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:08,240 Speaker 1: many non Minecraft occasions. Hearing her son invite his friends 15 00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:12,520 Speaker 1: into his Minecraft world prompted Calhoun to reflect on how 16 00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:16,800 Speaker 1: hard it is, in marriage and other relationships to truly 17 00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:23,160 Speaker 1: see and understand other people's worlds. For spouses, friends, parents 18 00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:27,680 Speaker 1: and children, teachers and students, businesses and customers, and so forth, 19 00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:33,480 Speaker 1: it is so important and so hard to truly understand 20 00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:37,560 Speaker 1: the other person's perspective, and yet we all want to 21 00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:42,600 Speaker 1: be seen and understood, so invite the people you love 22 00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:46,920 Speaker 1: into your world. Tell your partner about what it was 23 00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:48,840 Speaker 1: like for you to go to a reading by your 24 00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:52,120 Speaker 1: favorite poet, even if you know he has no interest 25 00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:57,480 Speaker 1: in poetry, because he is interested in you. Take your 26 00:01:57,520 --> 00:02:01,080 Speaker 1: kids to your college reunion so that they can see 27 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:04,160 Speaker 1: a place that was formative to you and can meet 28 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:08,160 Speaker 1: your old friends. Even if your work best friend doesn't 29 00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:12,160 Speaker 1: have kids herself, tell her about how you've finally built 30 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:16,320 Speaker 1: a good kid bedtime routine. She will likely value the 31 00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:20,359 Speaker 1: window into your life and cheer you on in this success. 32 00:02:21,919 --> 00:02:25,519 Speaker 1: If your workplace hosts take our daughters and sons to workday, 33 00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:29,840 Speaker 1: well take your daughters and sons to work. Let them 34 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:33,360 Speaker 1: see what you do and who you're with when you 35 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:37,480 Speaker 1: are not with them. By inviting other people to join 36 00:02:37,639 --> 00:02:41,919 Speaker 1: in your experiences, or by describing your experiences to them, 37 00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:46,520 Speaker 1: you can welcome them into your world. Now, of course, 38 00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:51,280 Speaker 1: this process shouldn't go only in one direction. You should 39 00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:55,520 Speaker 1: let other people invite you into their worlds too. Make 40 00:02:55,560 --> 00:03:03,880 Speaker 1: it easy for them. Listen, ask questions, observe. Don't assume 41 00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:08,240 Speaker 1: that another person's experience and perspective are the same as yours. 42 00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:11,560 Speaker 1: Ask your spouse if you can join him for a 43 00:03:11,639 --> 00:03:14,600 Speaker 1: hike on Saturday, even if that's not necessarily your thing. 44 00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:19,160 Speaker 1: If your mother in law plays trivia every week, accompany 45 00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:22,680 Speaker 1: her on occasion. See if you can understand what makes 46 00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:25,280 Speaker 1: her enjoy it and get to know her a little 47 00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:30,200 Speaker 1: better in the process. If your daughter loves acting, ask 48 00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:32,320 Speaker 1: her what it's like for her to perform in front 49 00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:35,720 Speaker 1: of a theater full of people. Invite her to tell 50 00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:38,200 Speaker 1: you about the process of preparing for a new role. 51 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:42,000 Speaker 1: Part of what I love about the mommy days I 52 00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:44,960 Speaker 1: do each summer with each of my kids is that 53 00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:49,360 Speaker 1: I join them in something that they love. When someone 54 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:53,680 Speaker 1: you love invites you into their world, accept their invitation 55 00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:59,160 Speaker 1: if you possibly can. Often an invitation to go to 56 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:01,040 Speaker 1: the lake, or to the nail salon, or to a 57 00:04:01,120 --> 00:04:06,400 Speaker 1: dance performance. Maybe less about the destination and more about 58 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:09,840 Speaker 1: joining a person who's important to you in a place 59 00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:15,320 Speaker 1: or activity that's important to them and that is well 60 00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:22,240 Speaker 1: worth your time. In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks 61 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:33,640 Speaker 1: for listening, and here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody, 62 00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:35,880 Speaker 1: I'd love to hear from you. You can send me 63 00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:39,560 Speaker 1: your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with 64 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:44,039 Speaker 1: me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram at before Breakfast pod. 65 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:50,080 Speaker 1: That's b the number four than Breakfast pod. You can 66 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:53,680 Speaker 1: also shoot me an email at before Breakfast podcast. At 67 00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:56,960 Speaker 1: iHeartMedia dot com that before Breakfast is spelled out with 68 00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:59,600 Speaker 1: all the letters. Thanks so much. Should I look forward 69 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:08,640 Speaker 1: to staying touch. Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartRadio. 70 00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:14,680 Speaker 1: For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, 71 00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:19,039 Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.