Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.
Speaker 1: Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Speaker 1: Today's tip is to let go of the assumption that
Speaker 1: people should take turns planning get togethers. If you want
Speaker 1: to see your friends and loved ones, take it upon
Speaker 1: yourself to plan something. It doesn't matter if you planned
Speaker 1: the last get together or even the last five get togethers.
Speaker 1: Making your peace with that idea vastly increases the chances
Speaker 1: that all of you have a lot more fun. Today's
Speaker 1: tip comes from a listener comment on the Patreon page
Speaker 1: for my other podcast, Best of Both Worlds. This listener,
Speaker 1: like many of us, wanted to see her loved ones
Speaker 1: more freequently. She knew they wanted to see her too,
Speaker 1: but what they didn't do was make an effort to
Speaker 1: actually schedule something. So she decided to take matters into
Speaker 1: her own hands. As predicted, people happily accepted her invitations
Speaker 1: they showed up. She realized that if she kept planning things,
Speaker 1: they would keep getting together, whereas if she didn't, then
Speaker 1: they wouldn't, so she could simply be the planner. It
Speaker 1: was really the better outcome. My guess is that if
Speaker 1: you are listening to this podcast, you too, are more
Speaker 1: likely to be the planner in your circle of friends
Speaker 1: or in your family. Planning get togethers and activities is
Speaker 1: a skill. You are simply better at this skill than
Speaker 1: most people, so it is not surprising if you wind
Speaker 1: up extending more invitations to people than you receive. It
Speaker 1: has nothing to do with whether people love you or
Speaker 1: want to spend time with you. Don't get hung up
Speaker 1: on that. Lots of people love social time but just
Speaker 1: aren't as good at executing on desires. Or maybe people
Speaker 1: have constraints in their homes or budgets that make it
Speaker 1: difficult for them to reciprocate your hospitality. Maybe they simply
Speaker 1: don't feel comfortable in the role of host. And then
Speaker 1: there are people who just don't think about it. Their
Speaker 1: gifts lie in other domains. If you love these people,
Speaker 1: you are better off accepting this reality, and then you
Speaker 1: are better off accepting that you will be the one
Speaker 1: planning to get togethers rather than getting discouraged because you
Speaker 1: feel that you are always doing the inviting, or worse,
Speaker 1: playing a game of chicken where you wait to see
Speaker 1: how long it will be until your friend or loved
Speaker 1: one suggests a concrete plan. Just relax, understand that this
Speaker 1: dynamic just reflects your greater inclination and skill in being
Speaker 1: able to plan and shape the future. It probably isn't
Speaker 1: that you love your friends and family more than they
Speaker 1: love you. If people keep accepting your invitations, then they
Speaker 1: want to see you, and if you genuinely want to
Speaker 1: see them, then you are better off not entertaining the
Speaker 1: thought that they are being lazy freeloaders. So don't don't
Speaker 1: keep score on who has done more of the planning
Speaker 1: work now. Of course, if you find yourself making a
Speaker 1: lot of invitations to someone who usually declines without suggesting
Speaker 1: an alternative, you might consider letting a little more times
Speaker 1: between invitations. The person may have other things going on
Speaker 1: right now, so maybe best to look elsewhere when you
Speaker 1: are suggesting ideas for fun. But if your invitations are
Speaker 1: usually accepted, keep them coming. If you and your loved
Speaker 1: ones enjoy getting together, and if you are willing to
Speaker 1: make the arrangements all as well plan away, you will
Speaker 1: probably both be glad you did. In the meantime, this
Speaker 1: is Laura, thanks for listening, and here's to making the
Speaker 1: most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to hear
Speaker 1: from you. You can send me your tips, your questions,
Speaker 1: or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook
Speaker 1: and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod. That's B the number four,
Speaker 1: then Breakfast p o D. You can also shoot me
Speaker 1: an email at Before Breakfast podcast at iHeartMedia dot com
Speaker 1: that Before Breakfast is spelled out with all the letters.
Speaker 1: Thanks so much, I look forward to staying in touch.
Speaker 1: Before Breakfast is a production of I heart Radio. For
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Speaker 1: favorite shows.