1
00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:03,240
Speaker 1: We were having so much fun on our last episode,

2
00:00:03,320 --> 00:00:05,640
Speaker 1: I really needed to make it into a part two,

3
00:00:05,760 --> 00:00:09,160
Speaker 1: So we are back. Welcome back, everybody to part two

4
00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:12,280
Speaker 1: of Wide Open with the one and only beautiful my

5
00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:25,360
Speaker 1: favorite person in the world, Sophia bush Well, into the

6
00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:27,880
Speaker 1: holiday spirit. Do you love my sweater?

7
00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:33,159
Speaker 2: I do? Honestly. When you unwrapped this, how did you

8
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:37,240
Speaker 2: get this by me? Because did you get this made

9
00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:40,880
Speaker 2: when I was shooting in Canada? That's absolutely yeah.

10
00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:43,440
Speaker 1: I was like, if I'm going to an ugliss an

11
00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:46,280
Speaker 1: uglyss uglass, So if you wanted to know, I just

12
00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:49,040
Speaker 1: made up a word. If I'm going to an ugly

13
00:00:49,159 --> 00:00:53,120
Speaker 1: Christmas weater party, it's got to be chic. It's got

14
00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:57,240
Speaker 1: to be hello the family and me on it. And

15
00:00:57,480 --> 00:01:00,600
Speaker 1: also like, how cute for Christmas Day? I mean, actually,

16
00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:03,160
Speaker 1: I'm going to probably wear it every single day this

17
00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:06,559
Speaker 1: holiday season because why wouldn't I? Well, yeah, I'm obsessed

18
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:09,319
Speaker 1: with being a mom and I'm obsessed with the kids,

19
00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:12,760
Speaker 1: and like here we are, and the title of this

20
00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:17,000
Speaker 1: episode should be have a lit Christmas honestly, so you're welcome.

21
00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:21,000
Speaker 2: I borrowed this from Ocean, So yeah, I literally am

22
00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:22,440
Speaker 2: having a lit Christmas.

23
00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:26,520
Speaker 1: Speaking of Christmas, what is one gift you want to

24
00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:29,759
Speaker 1: give yourself that's not physical this year?

25
00:01:30,959 --> 00:01:34,480
Speaker 2: Moving like physical or material? Not that a thing?

26
00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:37,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, just like, what is one gift I want to

27
00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:37,959
Speaker 1: give yourself?

28
00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:41,520
Speaker 2: What I want to start giving myself at the top

29
00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:44,720
Speaker 2: of twenty twenty six is a certain amount of time

30
00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:48,560
Speaker 2: in the morning that is unbookable.

31
00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:52,120
Speaker 1: It's just mine and your time. Block it out.

32
00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:54,560
Speaker 2: But like, so we can go on a walk, we

33
00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:59,320
Speaker 2: can go work out, we can write, we can make

34
00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:03,279
Speaker 2: a crazy zee breakfast whatever. Like I find so often,

35
00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:05,680
Speaker 2: especially because the babies are so young and they're up

36
00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:08,520
Speaker 2: so early, We're like up and we're at it and

37
00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:10,320
Speaker 2: everything is slammed, and we get them to school and

38
00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:12,040
Speaker 2: we come home and we get on zooms and it's like,

39
00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:18,119
Speaker 2: I want time. Let's give ourselves time.

40
00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:21,680
Speaker 1: I love that. Okay, what gift do you think we've

41
00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:29,040
Speaker 1: given each other this year? I'll answer Okay, First, for me,

42
00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:35,040
Speaker 1: I feel that safety has been the biggest gift this year.

43
00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:41,240
Speaker 1: I feel totally safe. My nervous system has finally regulated.

44
00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:43,600
Speaker 1: I'm not in this fight fight.

45
00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:45,280
Speaker 2: We sleep through the night.

46
00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:49,240
Speaker 1: I'm sleeping through the night. I'm like in my body

47
00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:51,840
Speaker 1: in a way I've never experienced. Don't you ever fucking

48
00:02:51,919 --> 00:02:55,880
Speaker 1: leave me? I mean we see like safety, I feel

49
00:02:57,320 --> 00:02:59,919
Speaker 1: I feel safe, and I don't know when the last

50
00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:04,919
Speaker 1: as a child, like I've just genuinely felt safe.

51
00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:07,960
Speaker 2: That makes me want to cry.

52
00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:10,760
Speaker 1: Don't cry, but you can answer it. I love you.

53
00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:14,120
Speaker 2: You're so far away, it's so weird.

54
00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:17,480
Speaker 1: I'm like, I know, I'm surprised you haven't found your

55
00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:18,160
Speaker 1: way over here.

56
00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:22,119
Speaker 2: I can't. The man is I have a frame. I'm

57
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:25,080
Speaker 2: an actor. I know I have to stay in the frame,

58
00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:27,359
Speaker 2: but I don't like it. For the record, so.

59
00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:30,440
Speaker 1: What gift do you think? I also think safety. We've

60
00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:34,120
Speaker 1: given each other a sense of peace and safety.

61
00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:41,080
Speaker 2: I mean majorly. Yeah, I would say very similarly, my

62
00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:53,480
Speaker 2: my whole constitution has come down. And I just caught

63
00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:55,240
Speaker 2: myself saying like, oh, I don't want to use the

64
00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:58,560
Speaker 2: words settled, like settled down, because so many people settle

65
00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:01,240
Speaker 2: in the wrong way. And I don't mean that, I

66
00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:07,760
Speaker 2: mean like the speed of things, Like things were so

67
00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:10,520
Speaker 2: high strung for so long, and I just thought, like

68
00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:16,599
Speaker 2: that's me and it's it's actually not and it's really

69
00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:20,760
Speaker 2: incredible to come down, Like it's like there's just a

70
00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:24,480
Speaker 2: little less helium in the balloon. It's not overstretched anymore.

71
00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:26,640
Speaker 2: It's like right where it should be. It's still floating,

72
00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:32,599
Speaker 2: but it's close and it's nice. I agree with you,

73
00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:34,040
Speaker 2: But I did have a thought when you asked the

74
00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:36,280
Speaker 2: question before you told me safety is yours, and I

75
00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:43,320
Speaker 2: was going to say laughter, Oh, like I laugh every

76
00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:49,200
Speaker 2: single day with you. And there was a period in

77
00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:51,479
Speaker 2: my life where I thought, like, oh, I've just I've

78
00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:54,720
Speaker 2: been through too many circumstantial things to be as amused

79
00:04:54,760 --> 00:04:59,120
Speaker 2: as I used to be. And that isn't true. There's

80
00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:01,799
Speaker 2: so much humor in our home, and I'm really grateful

81
00:05:01,839 --> 00:05:03,480
Speaker 2: for it. I love that.

82
00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:07,680
Speaker 1: It's very sweet. What gift would you say in this

83
00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:10,599
Speaker 1: moment you would want to give our listeners and our audience?

84
00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:14,280
Speaker 1: Who really you know? You have a podcast on iHeart.

85
00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:18,119
Speaker 1: I have a podcast with Women's Sports Network. So many

86
00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:21,200
Speaker 1: people show up every single.

87
00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:23,640
Speaker 2: Week and freak all on.

88
00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:27,600
Speaker 1: It's so cool and it's so special. And the things

89
00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:31,800
Speaker 1: that I get, like, I get so many letters about

90
00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:37,679
Speaker 1: people going through adversity or change or divorce and really

91
00:05:37,839 --> 00:05:43,480
Speaker 1: finding their why again and their value. What do you

92
00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:48,240
Speaker 1: want to give these people who show up religiously everywhere

93
00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:52,320
Speaker 1: we go, who have been so impacted by our story, Like,

94
00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:55,000
Speaker 1: what would be the one thing you want to give them?

95
00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:58,839
Speaker 2: I think for me, so I've said this thing for

96
00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:01,080
Speaker 2: a really long time. You have to sign your own

97
00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:04,599
Speaker 2: permission slips because no one else say it again, you

98
00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:06,680
Speaker 2: have to sign your own permission slips.

99
00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:09,120
Speaker 1: You hear that everyone here, that's y'all too, because.

100
00:06:08,839 --> 00:06:12,360
Speaker 2: No one's going to sign it for you. But part

101
00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:17,680
Speaker 2: of what I've realized is the root of that aha

102
00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:21,200
Speaker 2: or idea or piece of knowledge for me, is that

103
00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:26,039
Speaker 2: it's never too late. We all get bamboozled by this

104
00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:28,039
Speaker 2: idea that we're on a clock, that we have to

105
00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:30,040
Speaker 2: achieve things by a certain time, Like oh my god,

106
00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:33,200
Speaker 2: oh my god, I'm running out of time. And time

107
00:06:33,279 --> 00:06:36,120
Speaker 2: will make you crazy. Time will make you say yes

108
00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:38,320
Speaker 2: to things you want to say no to, being worried about.

109
00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:41,040
Speaker 2: Time will make you settle down in the wrong circumstance

110
00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:44,000
Speaker 2: because you think it's time to do so, Like you'll

111
00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:49,880
Speaker 2: think you're running out of options or moments of inspiration

112
00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:53,640
Speaker 2: or the opportunity to change your life or fall in

113
00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:59,000
Speaker 2: love or whatever. And if there's anything I could give anyone,

114
00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:00,960
Speaker 2: I love and anyone out in the world do. I

115
00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:06,000
Speaker 2: don't know, but I send love to It's just knowing

116
00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:09,240
Speaker 2: that you you can always give yourself permission. You are

117
00:07:09,279 --> 00:07:11,040
Speaker 2: not too old. It is not too late. You are

118
00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:14,560
Speaker 2: not running out of time. The magic of time is

119
00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:18,360
Speaker 2: actually that every day you're smarter, hopefully than you were

120
00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:26,160
Speaker 2: the day before. Like it's gift. So it's not too late.

121
00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:29,320
Speaker 2: Sign your own permission slips. I love that anytime.

122
00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:33,040
Speaker 1: So now we're gonna, like, you know, unbutton the caller

123
00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:34,320
Speaker 1: and do a little.

124
00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:35,960
Speaker 2: Are we getting out of our news anchorchiefs.

125
00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:39,840
Speaker 1: We're getting out of it all, and we're gonna, like

126
00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:44,320
Speaker 1: do a rapid fire moment. Okay, so are you ready?

127
00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:48,800
Speaker 2: I need the opposite thing of me as a person,

128
00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:51,440
Speaker 2: or what I'm good at is rapid. I'm long winded.

129
00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:54,760
Speaker 1: You are long winded, but I need you to. Okay,

130
00:07:55,040 --> 00:08:00,520
Speaker 1: you get focused, yep, focus, focus Okay, Okay, who hogs

131
00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:04,800
Speaker 1: the blankets you because you don't move? Your vampire? I

132
00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:08,200
Speaker 1: do it sleeps like this. I do doesn't move.

133
00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:11,040
Speaker 2: I don't. And when I feel myself roll over, I

134
00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:15,160
Speaker 2: roll back because I was told many years ago Jesus,

135
00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:18,280
Speaker 2: here we go. Listen to the two most important things

136
00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:19,960
Speaker 2: you can do for yourself. I know everyone wants to

137
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,120
Speaker 2: roll their eyes because everyone wants to know gave Chris

138
00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:24,520
Speaker 2: Jenner a facelift and like kudos to her, she told

139
00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:27,000
Speaker 2: us she looks great. But the point is, like every

140
00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:29,920
Speaker 2: no one wants to hear that actual daily practice of

141
00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:32,839
Speaker 2: things make a difference, but they do the two most

142
00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:35,199
Speaker 2: important things you can do for your skin are sunscreen

143
00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:40,560
Speaker 2: and sleeping on your back. So I have literally trained

144
00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:44,240
Speaker 2: myself when I feel myself roll over at night and

145
00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:47,960
Speaker 2: squish my skin, I immediately go and I get on

146
00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:49,760
Speaker 2: my back and I put my head back so my

147
00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:52,160
Speaker 2: next stretch it like I don't fuck around.

148
00:08:53,520 --> 00:08:57,000
Speaker 1: I hate it. And I am a face slot side

149
00:08:57,840 --> 00:08:59,679
Speaker 1: like stomach, which.

150
00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:02,680
Speaker 2: Doesn't mean make sense to me because like you just

151
00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:03,280
Speaker 2: look like that.

152
00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:06,600
Speaker 1: Well yeah I do, and I do absolutely nothing. I

153
00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:10,920
Speaker 1: know I am going against what you think healthy skin

154
00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:13,760
Speaker 1: looks like, sleeping like a vampire, vampire when you could

155
00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:15,160
Speaker 1: be cuddling with me and you're not.

156
00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:18,559
Speaker 2: I do cuddle with you, but you also know you

157
00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:21,520
Speaker 2: fall asleep first. Now that you feel safe.

158
00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:23,440
Speaker 1: Now you're getting all the tea everyone, you're welcome, and

159
00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:24,800
Speaker 1: when you go into nights.

160
00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:28,679
Speaker 2: I very gently roll you, and then I get into

161
00:09:28,840 --> 00:09:32,680
Speaker 2: I assume the vampire position. I protect my face.

162
00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:35,600
Speaker 1: Okay, fair, I love it. Who apologizes first?

163
00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:36,040
Speaker 2: You do?

164
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:39,000
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I do. I can't. She runs me

165
00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:42,600
Speaker 1: through this ADHD loop. You do this loop, and I'm like,

166
00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:45,880
Speaker 1: what are we I don't even know what's going on. Well,

167
00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:47,960
Speaker 1: it's really distracting a little bit.

168
00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:53,200
Speaker 2: I'm also deconstructing a lot of patterns. I'm doing the

169
00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:56,360
Speaker 2: work so I don't carry my past into our future

170
00:09:57,000 --> 00:10:03,640
Speaker 2: and sometimes obsessed with you. I love you, but sometimes

171
00:10:03,679 --> 00:10:07,160
Speaker 2: when like we have a tiff or something is hard.

172
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:10,640
Speaker 2: First of all, you're the softest, mushiest person I know,

173
00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:16,560
Speaker 2: but I am more sensitive to conflict. Like you don't mind,

174
00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:18,640
Speaker 2: You're like did it said it?

175
00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:19,320
Speaker 1: Move on?

176
00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:20,920
Speaker 2: Like that's the athlete in you.

177
00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:21,360
Speaker 1: Yeah.

178
00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:25,760
Speaker 2: I'm like a smushy actor who sits in my subconscious

179
00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:28,200
Speaker 2: about my feelings and also was taught to abandon my feelings.

180
00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:30,000
Speaker 2: So now that I'm not abandoning my feelings in my

181
00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:33,400
Speaker 2: real life, sometimes when I actually feel them, I'm really

182
00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:36,160
Speaker 2: overwhelmed and like, I need a minute. And I will

183
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:39,480
Speaker 2: give you such props here because you've learned rather than

184
00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:42,319
Speaker 2: being like, what's going on? We're talking about this, Like,

185
00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:46,360
Speaker 2: you'll let me have a minute and then I can

186
00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:50,240
Speaker 2: express like I see this connection, I see why this

187
00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:52,880
Speaker 2: was hard for me. This had nothing to do with you,

188
00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:55,120
Speaker 2: or this is just hard for me as a person,

189
00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:58,000
Speaker 2: whether it's you or anyone else. I'm learning things.

190
00:10:58,120 --> 00:10:58,640
Speaker 1: I love that.

191
00:10:59,679 --> 00:11:03,959
Speaker 2: But yeah, yeah, you will give me space to process

192
00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:09,800
Speaker 2: my feelings before I'm ready to talk or apologize or whatever,

193
00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:13,160
Speaker 2: and you'll just be like, I'm really sorry. That was

194
00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:15,480
Speaker 2: really intense, and it's it's.

195
00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:17,760
Speaker 1: Really so it's are you ready to talk about this?

196
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:23,640
Speaker 2: Yeah? That's really generous though, because you you know that,

197
00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:29,000
Speaker 2: because you recover faster, you can be the leader and

198
00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:31,040
Speaker 2: say like are you ready to meet me in the

199
00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:33,560
Speaker 2: recovery space or no? And you do it with the

200
00:11:33,679 --> 00:11:37,240
Speaker 2: kids where like if there's been a really intense moment

201
00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:40,439
Speaker 2: they're learning a hard lesson, it's overwhelming for their little system.

202
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:43,960
Speaker 2: They'll take a minute and then you'll say are you

203
00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:45,319
Speaker 2: ready to rejoin the group?

204
00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:47,440
Speaker 1: Are you ready to rejoin the group? Or do you

205
00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:48,079
Speaker 1: need a hug?

206
00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:51,200
Speaker 2: Yeah? Well always do you need a hug, but like,

207
00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:53,760
Speaker 2: are you ready to rejoin the group? Are you ready

208
00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:57,600
Speaker 2: for a reset and to try again with better words,

209
00:11:58,120 --> 00:11:59,920
Speaker 2: and you always offer a hug, and you do it

210
00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:03,680
Speaker 2: me too, and like there's a literal forty year spread

211
00:12:03,679 --> 00:12:07,040
Speaker 2: between the ocean, but like I need it also.

212
00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:09,880
Speaker 1: I love it. You do great tears. He's a better cook.

213
00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:10,880
Speaker 1: Who's a better cook me?

214
00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:13,520
Speaker 2: I am.

215
00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:14,920
Speaker 1: You're a better cook than me.

216
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:18,160
Speaker 2: You are a better baker who.

217
00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:18,960
Speaker 1: Cooks more often.

218
00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:22,800
Speaker 2: You're a much more consistent cook. But I make fancier

219
00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:23,640
Speaker 2: shit you do.

220
00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:27,440
Speaker 1: I'll tell you what you want to be lean mean

221
00:12:27,559 --> 00:12:31,719
Speaker 1: fighting machine. Come into this house. Because every night it's vegetables,

222
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:36,240
Speaker 1: greens and a roasted chicken. Yeah that's it, Yeah, home made.

223
00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:38,400
Speaker 2: I'm up to the roasted chicken game a bit. Let's

224
00:12:38,679 --> 00:12:41,360
Speaker 2: be honest. I taught you some things. Now you do

225
00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:44,360
Speaker 2: it every day, which is gorge But like.

226
00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:47,840
Speaker 1: When we want the chicken, okay, when I'm not, I'm.

227
00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:52,240
Speaker 2: Actually really tonight, like adhd am I getting every day.

228
00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:57,520
Speaker 2: But like when you want the big pot of overnight chili, Yeah,

229
00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:02,720
Speaker 2: when you want the like pasta, the heavy Italian sausage

230
00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:06,160
Speaker 2: based pasta where I sneak in two boxes a spinach

231
00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:07,360
Speaker 2: and no one would know it.

232
00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:11,800
Speaker 1: It's me m hm okay, so yeah, I agree with that.

233
00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:13,800
Speaker 1: Who's more or I'd say, you know, okay, okay, who's

234
00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:14,679
Speaker 1: more organized?

235
00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:21,400
Speaker 2: This is gonna trip you out. I am more organized.

236
00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:24,280
Speaker 2: You are neater, cleaner, and more regimented.

237
00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:27,760
Speaker 1: That is such a mind fuck. What does that even mean?

238
00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:31,560
Speaker 1: You are absolutely you're at putting things away with your

239
00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:34,000
Speaker 1: label maker. It takes you three years to get there.

240
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:37,760
Speaker 2: I'm aware. But every organizational system in this house, I

241
00:13:37,880 --> 00:13:41,079
Speaker 2: made it. Yes, you will upkeep.

242
00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:43,720
Speaker 1: It, but I will go out. Everything goes in the trash.

243
00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:45,439
Speaker 2: She throws things away, I don't.

244
00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:49,920
Speaker 1: I donate them. Well, I donate them and they just poof,

245
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:54,040
Speaker 1: they're gone. You She's like a super girl with piles.

246
00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:57,199
Speaker 2: To be clear, I also make donation bags. You do,

247
00:13:57,800 --> 00:14:00,000
Speaker 2: and then what happens is I leave and you fill

248
00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:01,920
Speaker 2: them to the top. And then they leave a house

249
00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:04,400
Speaker 2: and I'm like, oh great, they went to Goodwill. Yeah

250
00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:06,120
Speaker 2: they went to the women's shelter.

251
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:14,440
Speaker 1: We love that. Who takes longer to get ready?

252
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:20,080
Speaker 2: You can get ready faster, but when you really like

253
00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:23,320
Speaker 2: take the time, you can get ready in a way

254
00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:24,280
Speaker 2: that I don't know how to.

255
00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:28,320
Speaker 1: Fair. I agree with that. Usually if it's a red

256
00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:29,200
Speaker 1: carpet look or not.

257
00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:32,760
Speaker 2: Yeah. The thing that sometimes makes me take longer is

258
00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:36,040
Speaker 2: because I'm really not good at doing my own doing

259
00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:36,640
Speaker 2: my hair.

260
00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:42,080
Speaker 1: Well, that's because you're like squirrel fly, I just papers.

261
00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:43,760
Speaker 2: It's not my spiritual assic.

262
00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:46,000
Speaker 1: I'm like focused on the desk.

263
00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:47,760
Speaker 2: We have to go really hard for me.

264
00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:49,880
Speaker 1: I know, it's like, oh, I got to go through

265
00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:52,400
Speaker 1: the kids socks. I'm like, we have to be out

266
00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:54,360
Speaker 1: of here on the train in thirty five minutes. Why

267
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:55,240
Speaker 1: are you fucking going through?

268
00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:58,680
Speaker 2: Oh got a Harry clothes in a box because they're

269
00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:01,120
Speaker 2: just taking up space in the closet. And she's like, ma'am,

270
00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:02,200
Speaker 2: are you okay?

271
00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:04,480
Speaker 1: But I love that about you. But we keep it pushing.

272
00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:06,600
Speaker 2: Everything's organized by size.

273
00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:11,000
Speaker 1: That part favorite thing we do together on a lazy morning.

274
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:15,720
Speaker 2: Is this a lazy morning when the whole family's together

275
00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:18,960
Speaker 2: or a lazy morning when just were together, just us

276
00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:21,680
Speaker 2: stay in, stay in bed.

277
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:24,360
Speaker 1: I beg her to get out, though I do keep

278
00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:25,320
Speaker 1: I know ging you.

279
00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:29,160
Speaker 2: But to wake up, go brush my teeth and then

280
00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:32,440
Speaker 2: run back and get back into the bed because we

281
00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:36,560
Speaker 2: almost never get to do it. It's so rare. Never,

282
00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:39,480
Speaker 2: Oh my god, back in bed. I made you do

283
00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:40,239
Speaker 2: it yesterday?

284
00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:42,160
Speaker 1: You sure did Lazy Sundays.

285
00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:48,440
Speaker 2: I love it. And then and what did I do yesterday?

286
00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:51,040
Speaker 2: I came out here and I made coffee and I

287
00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:52,440
Speaker 2: brought us coffee.

288
00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:52,600
Speaker 1: In my bed.

289
00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:55,040
Speaker 2: It was very you really to be clear, like she

290
00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:57,440
Speaker 2: really wanted to get up, she wanted to get out

291
00:15:57,440 --> 00:15:59,120
Speaker 2: of bed, and I was like, no, I'll make coffee

292
00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:01,320
Speaker 2: if you stay in the bed, and then we could

293
00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:03,520
Speaker 2: stay in the bed with the coffee and turn on

294
00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:05,200
Speaker 2: a show. It was very sweet.

295
00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:09,360
Speaker 1: Well enjoy that because it doesn't happen very I'm aware.

296
00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:09,840
Speaker 2: I'm aware.

297
00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:16,800
Speaker 1: I got I get screaming, Mama, gop get me. I'm like, girl, Oh,

298
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:20,160
Speaker 1: I'm like, girl, just get out of your bed. You

299
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:24,360
Speaker 1: can walk. I mean it startles me every morning. It's

300
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:28,840
Speaker 1: a or I'm getting poked, or I wake up and

301
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:31,800
Speaker 1: I look on a camera. My three year old son

302
00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:34,960
Speaker 1: is now crawling under the Christmas tree to figure out

303
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:40,640
Speaker 1: a way to change it to the flashing flashing color. Yeah,

304
00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:43,840
Speaker 1: I mean, it's so manic. I'm like, it is three

305
00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:46,600
Speaker 1: o'clock in the morning. Why is ocean under the Christmas tree?

306
00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:50,360
Speaker 2: He's perfect, He's perfect, and it's so wild to see

307
00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:53,000
Speaker 2: how different. They are like Sloan will wake up and

308
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:56,600
Speaker 2: get a stuffy and like act this way, just maybe

309
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:59,440
Speaker 2: get a book, turn on the little cloud, lay in

310
00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:03,160
Speaker 2: her bunk bed, hang out, and he's like trying to

311
00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:05,160
Speaker 2: figure out how to climb onto the light fixture that's

312
00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:05,800
Speaker 2: hanging from the scene.

313
00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:09,120
Speaker 1: Oh, he would swing from from fixture to Yeah.

314
00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:12,159
Speaker 2: He's like full Indiana Jones at four am, and she's like,

315
00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:13,560
Speaker 2: let's have a tea party.

316
00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:19,080
Speaker 1: I love it. Stay tuned. I'll be back in just

317
00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:26,960
Speaker 1: a moment after this brief message from our sponsors. What

318
00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:33,480
Speaker 1: is one word to describe our home right now?

319
00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:35,560
Speaker 2: Happy?

320
00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:40,400
Speaker 1: It's really happy, and it's really peaceful, and it's weirdly

321
00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:42,720
Speaker 1: very colorful, which is so weird for me.

322
00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:46,520
Speaker 2: I'm so proud you used to live in a hospital.

323
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:50,840
Speaker 1: Listen you the way you love trinkets and I love

324
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:55,280
Speaker 1: sterile environments. We're very different, but we're blending. I'm like,

325
00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:57,480
Speaker 1: she want, can I tell them feel like a home?

326
00:17:57,520 --> 00:18:00,760
Speaker 1: And I'm like, don't stay too long. You want to like.

327
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:03,520
Speaker 2: Live in a science lab, which is weird because I

328
00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:05,720
Speaker 2: do deeply love science. I want to know everything about

329
00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:07,639
Speaker 2: what's going on in the lab and like what they're discovering.

330
00:18:08,359 --> 00:18:11,399
Speaker 2: But I want to live in like cozy with memories

331
00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:15,160
Speaker 2: and stories. I have to tell the people, tell the people.

332
00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:17,840
Speaker 2: We do a lot of like trading back and forth.

333
00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:19,199
Speaker 2: I have you seen this and look at this and

334
00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:21,280
Speaker 2: half of its food that we want to make on

335
00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:25,639
Speaker 2: the weekends. You sent me I can't remember if it

336
00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:32,800
Speaker 2: was Arc Digest or Elle Decore, a gorgeous renovated Well

337
00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:34,479
Speaker 2: we talk about the chateaus all the time because that's

338
00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:38,560
Speaker 2: our retirement dream. But you sent me like a Victorian

339
00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:41,800
Speaker 2: home that had been redone in all moody costs.

340
00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:45,360
Speaker 1: Home shows are fucking me up. I was so proud.

341
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:47,639
Speaker 1: I was like, the home shows are really fucking me up.

342
00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:51,840
Speaker 1: Right to paint Eventually, I know. I was such a

343
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:55,120
Speaker 1: stickler for modern all in and now I'm like watching

344
00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:58,199
Speaker 1: this like the ruins in the south of France and

345
00:18:58,280 --> 00:19:00,800
Speaker 1: the wine country and I'm like, oh, I could get

346
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:01,359
Speaker 1: down with this.

347
00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:05,000
Speaker 2: Yes, this is my retirement, like my fantasy.

348
00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:11,240
Speaker 1: So that means you need to work harder. Clearly I'm retired,

349
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:13,040
Speaker 1: must be nice.

350
00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:17,239
Speaker 2: I yeah, I don't know. When people talk about like

351
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:19,000
Speaker 2: what would you do if you won the power Ball,

352
00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:19,520
Speaker 2: and they're like.

353
00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:22,640
Speaker 1: We play the game all the time. Who doesn't like

354
00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:24,160
Speaker 1: My dream.

355
00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:26,160
Speaker 2: Is to be one of those couples on the Reno

356
00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:29,840
Speaker 2: shows who have acquired like a falling down I mean

357
00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:34,040
Speaker 2: preferably not falling down, but like a defunct chateau or

358
00:19:34,119 --> 00:19:39,479
Speaker 2: a like a gorgeous old historic home in Italy, and

359
00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:42,159
Speaker 2: renovate it and run it as like a business and

360
00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:44,520
Speaker 2: live there and just like I could just host pasta

361
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:45,520
Speaker 2: making class every night.

362
00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:47,520
Speaker 1: It says, you know what, I love that about you

363
00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:50,119
Speaker 1: and your Italian roots give me a lot of like

364
00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:52,639
Speaker 1: joy for you, but they're a little wonky with the

365
00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:54,959
Speaker 1: gay community, and I'm sticking to France.

366
00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:58,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, so here's what I will say is I think

367
00:19:58,359 --> 00:20:02,719
Speaker 2: that that terrible lady Tyrant there isn't gonna last forever

368
00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:06,879
Speaker 2: like our terrible manchild Tyrant won't last. So some day

369
00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:09,119
Speaker 2: I'd like to be there. But listen, twist my arm

370
00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:10,320
Speaker 2: sub alone France hate it?

371
00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:12,840
Speaker 1: Okay, fine, do you one word that describes me?

372
00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:19,040
Speaker 2: I can't say perfect? Why you think you're perfect for me?

373
00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:22,640
Speaker 1: It's so sweet You're not perfect in my way? Yes,

374
00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:24,919
Speaker 1: in the best kind of shenans.

375
00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:30,960
Speaker 2: It's hard to want to use it because I feel

376
00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:33,520
Speaker 2: like it's become such a buzzword, but I mean it

377
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:37,600
Speaker 2: for you. You're authentic. That's very sweet, and interestingly, I

378
00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:41,840
Speaker 2: don't think people know how like soft and smushy you are. No,

379
00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:45,119
Speaker 2: because you're bold and you're sassy, and like when you

380
00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:47,959
Speaker 2: get excited or you're you're doing something you know, like

381
00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:53,000
Speaker 2: hosting or speaking, You're you're in your power, you're like encouraging,

382
00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:56,919
Speaker 2: you're doing something intense. But like in your life, you

383
00:20:57,000 --> 00:21:04,399
Speaker 2: are the softest, most tender, funny, like everybody gravitates towards

384
00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:07,000
Speaker 2: you in a room. Everybody wants to tell you their secrets.

385
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:10,359
Speaker 2: Everybody calls you when they're in tears, and you're just

386
00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:14,159
Speaker 2: like the safest person. You're like home for so many people.

387
00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:18,280
Speaker 2: And I think people think of you as like a gladiator,

388
00:21:18,359 --> 00:21:20,800
Speaker 2: and you are. You have that in you, but that's

389
00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:24,879
Speaker 2: like such a small part of you as a whole human.

390
00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:28,000
Speaker 1: That's a great way to articulate it, because I agree

391
00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:32,320
Speaker 1: I am a soft mushy but like when I play,

392
00:21:32,359 --> 00:21:35,720
Speaker 1: I'm hard and I'm in survival mode and it was, yeah,

393
00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:38,159
Speaker 1: it was my way to provide and I think people

394
00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:40,439
Speaker 1: get that a little twisted sometimes, but you have to

395
00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:41,560
Speaker 1: put armour on to.

396
00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:44,879
Speaker 2: Do that absolutely, And that's why it's like I have

397
00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:47,080
Speaker 2: to put on an armor to be out in the world,

398
00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:52,560
Speaker 2: like with strangers, perceiving threats, figuring things out like but

399
00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:55,399
Speaker 2: who we are with our people, like in our homes,

400
00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:58,119
Speaker 2: I don't know. And I know that about myself. And

401
00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:02,920
Speaker 2: it's funny how long we were friends, but I didn't

402
00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:05,760
Speaker 2: know it about you in the way that I got

403
00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:09,280
Speaker 2: to know it when it happened to be, like you

404
00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:11,800
Speaker 2: were finally retired and I was finally on strike and

405
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:14,600
Speaker 2: everyone was going through what they were going through, so

406
00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:17,199
Speaker 2: people were hanging out a lot more. And then I

407
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:20,280
Speaker 2: was like, wait a second, help me, Like there's a

408
00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:21,439
Speaker 2: whole other thing to you.

409
00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:25,679
Speaker 1: But I also think sport is performance. We are performing

410
00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:28,679
Speaker 1: for a group of people that people get lost in.

411
00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:33,040
Speaker 1: If I'm frail and fragile and small, my position is

412
00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:36,040
Speaker 1: to be big. Yeah, there's a whole performance piece that

413
00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:38,760
Speaker 1: comes with that that people do not clock into well,

414
00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:39,679
Speaker 1: especially as.

415
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:43,720
Speaker 2: A goalkeeper, like you're the last line of defense. You

416
00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:46,919
Speaker 2: have to be the grizzly bear, but you're like a

417
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:47,800
Speaker 2: golden retriever.

418
00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:51,359
Speaker 1: I am very much So besides the sheddy night, I

419
00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:53,239
Speaker 1: mean I am a snake right now, I'm shedding all

420
00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:54,000
Speaker 1: the old shit.

421
00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:55,560
Speaker 2: But like, well, we're in the year.

422
00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:58,399
Speaker 1: We're in the year, we are in the year. So

423
00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:00,840
Speaker 1: I'm gonna sh a little bit.

424
00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:06,000
Speaker 2: And so what you're making me nervous.

425
00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:08,280
Speaker 1: Don't be nervous. But I want you to like I want.

426
00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:11,320
Speaker 1: It has been on you for quite some time, and

427
00:23:11,359 --> 00:23:15,520
Speaker 1: now I'm curious of how well you know me emotionally,

428
00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:21,400
Speaker 1: like intuitively, all the things, because we spend every second

429
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:25,240
Speaker 1: of every day together, thank god, every second. If you

430
00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:28,359
Speaker 1: could help me see one thing about myself that I

431
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:31,680
Speaker 1: still struggle to see, what would that be?

432
00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:36,080
Speaker 2: I know you know you're a good person, but I

433
00:23:36,160 --> 00:23:45,360
Speaker 2: really wish that you understood the magnitude of your goodness you.

434
00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:47,960
Speaker 2: I've told people this for years. Being around you is

435
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:54,960
Speaker 2: like standing in sunlight. You shift every room you go into,

436
00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:59,080
Speaker 2: and you shift the experience of every person who interacts

437
00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:02,280
Speaker 2: with you in a room that I have rarely seen

438
00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:04,000
Speaker 2: in my life. That's very sweet.

439
00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:07,280
Speaker 1: I'm receiving that. Thank you.

440
00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:08,320
Speaker 2: Your eyes are watering.

441
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:14,760
Speaker 1: You're a far wavery What is something you think I

442
00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:19,879
Speaker 1: underestimate about my own strength? Hmm?

443
00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:28,560
Speaker 2: I think you underestimate your expertise. I know you know

444
00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:34,399
Speaker 2: it about sports, and I know you're sort of like

445
00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:39,000
Speaker 2: you have a foot on it in terms of culture

446
00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:43,439
Speaker 2: and what you see because you're very street smart. And

447
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:46,719
Speaker 2: then you have this incredible education from college, and then

448
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:50,840
Speaker 2: you have this incredible life experience. So you've got this trifecta.

449
00:24:52,119 --> 00:24:56,439
Speaker 2: But when I see you sit down with one of

450
00:24:56,480 --> 00:25:00,920
Speaker 2: the biggest creative directors in fashion or one of the

451
00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:07,000
Speaker 2: most powerful ethical CEOs and business and they are like,

452
00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:13,720
Speaker 2: holy shit, her brain, I I'm like, yeah, I live

453
00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:17,920
Speaker 2: with her. I know. I want for.

454
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:18,560
Speaker 1: You to.

455
00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:26,280
Speaker 2: Know, obviously, with the humility that you do carry, you know,

456
00:25:26,520 --> 00:25:29,560
Speaker 2: despite seeming like such a gladiator on the outside, Like

457
00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:35,399
Speaker 2: I just want I want you to know how rare

458
00:25:35,480 --> 00:25:45,399
Speaker 2: your perception creativity and storytelling kind of like Wheelhouse actually is.

459
00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:48,040
Speaker 2: That's very sweet.

460
00:25:48,359 --> 00:25:50,480
Speaker 1: I can't wait to watch all of this back. That's

461
00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:52,359
Speaker 1: what I'm asking, and I want to have it for

462
00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:55,959
Speaker 1: This is going to be heavy, It's going to be hard.

463
00:25:56,240 --> 00:26:00,159
Speaker 1: Oh God, if you could take one pain away from

464
00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:03,680
Speaker 1: my past that I carry still with me every day,

465
00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:04,360
Speaker 1: what would it be.

466
00:26:05,359 --> 00:26:10,480
Speaker 2: I wish I could take the sadness you feel about

467
00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:14,159
Speaker 2: the time that you missed because all you knew was

468
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:16,320
Speaker 2: how to turn your back on yourself to support other

469
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:20,920
Speaker 2: people in the same way that I wish I could

470
00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:24,320
Speaker 2: give it to folks out there. I want you to

471
00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:26,280
Speaker 2: know you're exactly where you're supposed to be, and you're

472
00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:28,200
Speaker 2: not too late, and you didn't miss anything.

473
00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:37,400
Speaker 1: What's something you feel I've healed that I don't give

474
00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:38,760
Speaker 1: myself enough credit for.

475
00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:52,560
Speaker 2: As someone who was really taught to perform at a

476
00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:58,919
Speaker 2: level most of us will never understand. I really think

477
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:09,800
Speaker 2: you are healing performing for other people before listening to yourself.

478
00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:15,679
Speaker 2: I think you're really changing that in a You're changing

479
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:22,160
Speaker 2: it in a way that is moving both like through

480
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:30,080
Speaker 2: the depths so honestly, but at speed that I don't

481
00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:31,679
Speaker 2: know a lot of people who've done that, and I

482
00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:33,760
Speaker 2: know I'm not the only person who sees that. I mean,

483
00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:37,560
Speaker 2: even when I think back to connecting you and Nia

484
00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:40,200
Speaker 2: so you could talk about your circumstances with your children,

485
00:27:41,119 --> 00:27:43,840
Speaker 2: she's like, Oh, I have gotten my shit together because

486
00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:47,359
Speaker 2: Ash has figured out fill in the blank. The things

487
00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:49,359
Speaker 2: you are able to do that are so impressive for

488
00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:53,480
Speaker 2: you as a human are also inspiring the women in

489
00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:59,160
Speaker 2: your life and the women in your ecosystems to treat

490
00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:02,399
Speaker 2: themselves that way as well. And I hope that you

491
00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:05,160
Speaker 2: know that you're doing great. Thank you.

492
00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:09,399
Speaker 1: What's one thing I've taught you about love? That I

493
00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:10,600
Speaker 1: show you every day.

494
00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:13,720
Speaker 2: That it can be in every single moment of every

495
00:28:13,720 --> 00:28:18,280
Speaker 2: single day, and that it is not hard that came quick.

496
00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:25,680
Speaker 2: You have really made it clear to me and in

497
00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:31,080
Speaker 2: perpetual joy between us, that I am not hard to

498
00:28:31,119 --> 00:28:36,280
Speaker 2: love at all, and that you are not here?

499
00:28:36,359 --> 00:28:37,840
Speaker 1: Are you? No?

500
00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:41,560
Speaker 2: I and I easiest. You have to take a sip,

501
00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:46,200
Speaker 2: I think, or it's bad luck. Okay, really it's about

502
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:47,280
Speaker 2: to be dinner and how I'm trying to.

503
00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:50,720
Speaker 1: Get I know, when do you feel like I am

504
00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:53,160
Speaker 1: the most me in this world?

505
00:28:55,520 --> 00:29:02,480
Speaker 2: The minute that we get the kids after school, like

506
00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:04,720
Speaker 2: the run in the door and the screaming and the

507
00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:07,120
Speaker 2: hugs yeah, and the what are we going to do

508
00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:08,880
Speaker 2: for dinner? And what game do you want to play?

509
00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:18,520
Speaker 2: That's first. The second image that comes to mind for

510
00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:20,440
Speaker 2: me is like right before you walk out on a

511
00:29:20,440 --> 00:29:22,480
Speaker 2: stage to inspire a bunch of people, and you look

512
00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:26,080
Speaker 2: back at me and you smile because like you're you're

513
00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:30,480
Speaker 2: in your space, and those those two parts of you,

514
00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:39,200
Speaker 2: like you're you're mothering and you're leading like that's those

515
00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:42,600
Speaker 2: are those are big temple pieces of who you are.

516
00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:44,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I say this often. I've won a lot

517
00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:49,240
Speaker 1: in my life. Being a mom is by far my

518
00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:50,040
Speaker 1: greatest title.

519
00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:53,760
Speaker 2: Well, it's the thing that you it's the thing that

520
00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:57,520
Speaker 2: you care about the most. And also now knowing you

521
00:29:57,680 --> 00:30:00,400
Speaker 2: not only the way that I do, but having learned

522
00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:02,200
Speaker 2: all the things I didn't know about you for all

523
00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:04,080
Speaker 2: the years we were friends, and I thought I knew

524
00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:11,040
Speaker 2: so much what you do to put motherhood first in

525
00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:12,840
Speaker 2: the ways it's seen and in so many of the

526
00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:16,080
Speaker 2: ways it's never been seen. But when the cameras are off,

527
00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:22,640
Speaker 2: most people don't like you are now. I don't say

528
00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:24,200
Speaker 2: this just because I love you, but like you're a

529
00:30:24,360 --> 00:30:25,840
Speaker 2: real one. Thank you.

530
00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:30,400
Speaker 1: What's the truth do you think I'm like finally ready

531
00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:37,880
Speaker 1: to receive after the last few years of us being

532
00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:38,840
Speaker 1: together and dating.

533
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:48,240
Speaker 2: I think you are really settling into being looked at

534
00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:53,240
Speaker 2: like you are as special as you are. That was

535
00:30:53,280 --> 00:31:00,640
Speaker 2: hard for you for a while, and you receive it

536
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:05,120
Speaker 2: and it makes me really happy for you. Thank you,

537
00:31:05,160 --> 00:31:09,200
Speaker 2: and it makes me feel really happy for me. I

538
00:31:09,280 --> 00:31:11,320
Speaker 2: love that with you, You're blessed.

539
00:31:11,440 --> 00:31:14,760
Speaker 1: I am not. It's great. I think it's very sweet

540
00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:20,240
Speaker 1: answers and very yes, I am receiving it. I think

541
00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:24,240
Speaker 1: I never felt worthy enough to receive the kind of

542
00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:28,280
Speaker 1: care and generosity you bring to my life, into my

543
00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:35,240
Speaker 1: children's life. And I never thought I was enough to

544
00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:38,760
Speaker 1: be this worthy of the experience I'm having. And I'm

545
00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:42,160
Speaker 1: like sitting in it. And it's an act every day

546
00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:45,920
Speaker 1: to say, like, I'm worthy of this kind of love

547
00:31:45,920 --> 00:31:51,160
Speaker 1: and joy, and I think instead of deflecting it and

548
00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:54,760
Speaker 1: putting it on other people. And you know, I'm a servant.

549
00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:56,920
Speaker 1: I'm a server. I want to serve. That's what gives

550
00:31:56,960 --> 00:32:00,800
Speaker 1: me joy is serving other people. But at some point

551
00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:03,000
Speaker 1: I have to fill my cup up too, and I

552
00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:08,040
Speaker 1: think I'm learning that now. For me to be the

553
00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:11,360
Speaker 1: best partner and to be the best mom, and to

554
00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:13,440
Speaker 1: be the best sister and all these things, like, I

555
00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:18,760
Speaker 1: have to prioritize it too. I can't just always give, give, give, give, give,

556
00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:24,760
Speaker 1: where I'm left completely depleted and empty, where I'm crippled

557
00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:27,800
Speaker 1: by the experience, and I have to recharge because I

558
00:32:27,840 --> 00:32:31,880
Speaker 1: am a massive impath and it is meaningful for me

559
00:32:32,080 --> 00:32:34,840
Speaker 1: the way I show up. But also like I am

560
00:32:35,280 --> 00:32:38,120
Speaker 1: learning in real time I'm worthy enough to receive the

561
00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:41,520
Speaker 1: kind of joy and happiness I always imagine that I

562
00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:44,640
Speaker 1: didn't feel like was for me. And I think, if

563
00:32:44,680 --> 00:32:47,040
Speaker 1: that's not the greatest breakthrough this year has taught me,

564
00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:52,360
Speaker 1: I don't know what is. And I think that is profound. Yeah,

565
00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:55,880
Speaker 1: what is something you didn't know you needed in a

566
00:32:55,920 --> 00:33:01,880
Speaker 1: partner until you met me? You a woman?

567
00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:10,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what's interesting, It's it's realizing that in

568
00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:16,200
Speaker 2: our relationship, intimacy is not defined fractionally like most people say, like,

569
00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:19,680
Speaker 2: how's your intimacy meaning how's your sex life? Like, intimacy

570
00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:24,040
Speaker 2: is in everything. It's in every time we walk by

571
00:33:24,080 --> 00:33:25,760
Speaker 2: each other and you grab my hand or you touch

572
00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:28,440
Speaker 2: my back or I like I do the same. It's

573
00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:32,000
Speaker 2: it's in the way we make plans together. It's in

574
00:33:32,040 --> 00:33:34,600
Speaker 2: the way you speak with my mom separately of me,

575
00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:36,760
Speaker 2: and I speak with your mom separately of you. It's

576
00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:40,960
Speaker 2: in the way we build, It's in the way we

577
00:33:41,040 --> 00:33:45,440
Speaker 2: cook together. It's in like how we get groceries, Like,

578
00:33:45,560 --> 00:33:51,880
Speaker 2: it's it's in everything. And that's a big shift. And

579
00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:55,640
Speaker 2: I think that's where the this or that what was first?

580
00:33:55,680 --> 00:34:00,520
Speaker 2: What should have been can't necessarily always ever come to answer,

581
00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:08,200
Speaker 2: you know, the chicken and the egg question. But everything

582
00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:14,960
Speaker 2: is intimate and so everything is safe, and everything is

583
00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:20,799
Speaker 2: full of laughter, and everything is possibility. And for the

584
00:34:20,920 --> 00:34:24,200
Speaker 2: first time, truly in my adult life, I'm in a

585
00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:29,799
Speaker 2: relationship where one plus one equals three because there's you,

586
00:34:29,920 --> 00:34:32,400
Speaker 2: there's me, and then there's this additive thing that happens

587
00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:37,920
Speaker 2: with us. And I'm not trying to have that. I

588
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:40,879
Speaker 2: have it. I'm not in a relationship with someone who

589
00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:44,280
Speaker 2: says they love being with a powerful woman and secretly

590
00:34:44,320 --> 00:34:48,719
Speaker 2: hates it. I'm not dealing with these undercurrents of who

591
00:34:48,760 --> 00:34:52,400
Speaker 2: feels emasculated, or who wants to compete, or who's keeping score.

592
00:34:53,239 --> 00:34:57,839
Speaker 2: Like I'm obsessed with you, you're obsessed with me. Like

593
00:34:57,960 --> 00:35:04,600
Speaker 2: we're winning together always and it's so refreshing and so fun.

594
00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:09,520
Speaker 2: And you know something else, all the things that I

595
00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:13,520
Speaker 2: eventually thought I wanted because they were byproducts of what

596
00:35:13,560 --> 00:35:15,600
Speaker 2: I do for a living, I'd be like, I'm the problem.

597
00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:18,719
Speaker 2: I make rom coms, I do the TV. We do

598
00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:22,600
Speaker 2: unrealistic stories. Like it's not unrealistic, it's just rare.

599
00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:29,600
Speaker 1: I agree, And I didn't know I was deserving of

600
00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:34,080
Speaker 1: the rareness and like how special it is. I was

601
00:35:34,120 --> 00:35:39,200
Speaker 1: like that, shit's only in movies. Yeah, that's only in books. Yeah,

602
00:35:39,280 --> 00:35:44,040
Speaker 1: happy endings. This that I've never experienced or felt that

603
00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:48,080
Speaker 1: in a way that was believable. It just was like,

604
00:35:50,040 --> 00:35:52,080
Speaker 1: you know, I came from the you made your bed,

605
00:35:52,120 --> 00:35:57,200
Speaker 1: you lay in that type of mentality and suffering and

606
00:35:57,280 --> 00:36:01,360
Speaker 1: adapting and going with the flow and the growth mindset.

607
00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:03,879
Speaker 1: I've rehearsed it over and over and over.

608
00:36:04,560 --> 00:36:09,600
Speaker 2: I think you can over This is probably not the

609
00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:12,400
Speaker 2: proper word, but this is how my brain thinks about it.

610
00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:18,560
Speaker 2: It's like you can over psychologize yourself. The sports psychology

611
00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:20,600
Speaker 2: is so helpful, but if you do it too much,

612
00:36:20,640 --> 00:36:25,160
Speaker 2: it becomes cancerous, like it's too much growth. You know.

613
00:36:25,520 --> 00:36:28,920
Speaker 2: I love no one's research more than Esther Parrel, and

614
00:36:28,960 --> 00:36:32,200
Speaker 2: I Esther Parrelled myself oh too. I was like, well,

615
00:36:32,200 --> 00:36:34,279
Speaker 2: you can't expect one person to be your everything. And

616
00:36:34,480 --> 00:36:36,000
Speaker 2: what we used to get from a village, we now

617
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:37,480
Speaker 2: think we're going to get from one person. And so

618
00:36:37,480 --> 00:36:39,080
Speaker 2: it's okay if you don't have all these things in

619
00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:41,239
Speaker 2: your home. It's not okay to live in a home

620
00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:44,000
Speaker 2: without laughter. It's not okay to live in a home

621
00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:47,239
Speaker 2: where you go to separate rooms and don't speak once

622
00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:52,000
Speaker 2: you get home from work, Like it's not okay. I didn't.

623
00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:57,240
Speaker 2: I didn't know where the lesson ended. I lessened myself

624
00:36:57,239 --> 00:37:01,480
Speaker 2: into dead ends. And I think, unlike learning, that is

625
00:37:01,520 --> 00:37:03,560
Speaker 2: a really I had deal.

626
00:37:03,719 --> 00:37:07,640
Speaker 1: I had this really powerful conversation with my brother when

627
00:37:07,680 --> 00:37:10,600
Speaker 1: we went to the surf ranch and I said this

628
00:37:10,640 --> 00:37:12,880
Speaker 1: to him. I said, what, you're accepting your choosing.

629
00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:15,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the hardest lesson.

630
00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:19,360
Speaker 1: And that's the hardest lesson and the most real thing

631
00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:23,960
Speaker 1: that you can grapple with is like, you can't complain

632
00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:29,560
Speaker 1: about the unhappiness around you if you're accepting it because

633
00:37:29,560 --> 00:37:35,680
Speaker 1: you're choosing it. This is wide open and I'm your host,

634
00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:43,200
Speaker 1: Ashlyn Harris. Thanks for listening. We'll be right back. What

635
00:37:43,239 --> 00:37:46,319
Speaker 1: do you hope through the trauma and the life we've

636
00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:51,080
Speaker 1: lived and now being on the other side of what

637
00:37:51,120 --> 00:37:53,920
Speaker 1: you say is joy and laughter and love and peace.

638
00:37:55,160 --> 00:37:59,759
Speaker 1: What do you hope our home always represents? Because where

639
00:38:00,200 --> 00:38:06,640
Speaker 1: we're raising very like we're raising children who are black

640
00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:11,839
Speaker 1: and brown and they have been adopted under certain experience, like.

641
00:38:12,239 --> 00:38:16,320
Speaker 2: The two there are two households, family two households filled

642
00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:21,040
Speaker 2: with moms, Like they check a lot of boxes. Yes,

643
00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:27,839
Speaker 2: we check a lot of boxes individually as families. What

644
00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:30,200
Speaker 2: I think is the most special about it is that

645
00:38:31,080 --> 00:38:35,279
Speaker 2: it's all more love, so much love. Yeah, And what

646
00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:39,200
Speaker 2: I hope for as long as I'm lucky enough to

647
00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:45,120
Speaker 2: call this my home, that it's just love on love.

648
00:38:45,280 --> 00:38:49,440
Speaker 2: It's go over the speed bump, go to the depth

649
00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:52,280
Speaker 2: of the lesson, even where it's hard, even where it's scary.

650
00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:57,480
Speaker 2: Realize how important it is, Realize how strong you are,

651
00:38:58,120 --> 00:39:03,840
Speaker 2: hold your humility, try your best again tomorrow, Just like

652
00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:10,400
Speaker 2: I want to be rooted in a real positivity, not

653
00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:15,279
Speaker 2: like a surface perfection, not a toxic positivity, not an

654
00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:18,120
Speaker 2: ignoring of things. I actually think on the other side

655
00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:25,799
Speaker 2: of like the deepest, darkest travels is the lightest, brightest future.

656
00:39:25,880 --> 00:39:30,600
Speaker 2: Like it's light and it's bright because it's real. And

657
00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:35,400
Speaker 2: I want that to be the pattern of choice for

658
00:39:35,520 --> 00:39:38,680
Speaker 2: us as individuals, for us as partners, for us as

659
00:39:38,719 --> 00:39:46,440
Speaker 2: a family, for us as a household. Like it's a

660
00:39:46,520 --> 00:39:50,879
Speaker 2: it's a depth that I think, if I were able

661
00:39:50,880 --> 00:39:53,360
Speaker 2: to talk to the version of myself I carry inside

662
00:39:53,360 --> 00:39:56,640
Speaker 2: of myself that's from ten years ago She probably would

663
00:39:56,640 --> 00:39:59,120
Speaker 2: have been really terrified to be told like, this is

664
00:39:59,160 --> 00:40:01,600
Speaker 2: what you're gonna have to do. This is how deep

665
00:40:01,640 --> 00:40:04,799
Speaker 2: you're going to have to dig. Now I know it's

666
00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:09,600
Speaker 2: like the key to a great life. Yeah, like what

667
00:40:09,760 --> 00:40:13,600
Speaker 2: I imagined. You know, we know again the rolodex of

668
00:40:13,600 --> 00:40:15,840
Speaker 2: information we have that our parents didn't have access to.

669
00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:19,640
Speaker 2: The human brain will choose the pain it knows over

670
00:40:19,680 --> 00:40:23,120
Speaker 2: the unknown, even if the unknown is pure, unadulterated joy. Yes,

671
00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:26,480
Speaker 2: so I think it's really important when you're afraid of

672
00:40:26,520 --> 00:40:30,200
Speaker 2: something to understand that that doesn't mean something's wrong with you,

673
00:40:30,239 --> 00:40:32,560
Speaker 2: and it doesn't mean you're incapable. It's literally your brain

674
00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:33,520
Speaker 2: trying to protect you.

675
00:40:34,920 --> 00:40:36,440
Speaker 1: The brain will tell you some fucked up.

676
00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:38,839
Speaker 2: It will tell you some real Also, the brain can

677
00:40:38,920 --> 00:40:43,600
Speaker 2: like be your worst bully. But I think this idea

678
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:49,640
Speaker 2: like the unknown or the potential, Like I can't wait

679
00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:57,440
Speaker 2: to see where this expanded, humbled, hard worked, loved, excited,

680
00:40:58,600 --> 00:41:04,280
Speaker 2: grown version of you in twenty twenty six. Like, imagine,

681
00:41:04,560 --> 00:41:08,839
Speaker 2: imagine the leader you're going to be next year. Imagine

682
00:41:09,040 --> 00:41:12,279
Speaker 2: what's like you can't imagine it, you can actually have

683
00:41:12,440 --> 00:41:19,160
Speaker 2: what's beyond your wildest imagination. If you can take the leap.

684
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:21,840
Speaker 2: I don't know if you saw, but this week we

685
00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:26,320
Speaker 2: have a wonderful mutual friend who sadly lost a friend

686
00:41:26,480 --> 00:41:29,400
Speaker 2: from growing up. Tig Nataro's friend John just passed away,

687
00:41:30,320 --> 00:41:35,920
Speaker 2: and Tig wrote this really beautiful reflection on their friendship

688
00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:39,319
Speaker 2: and on his life and on you know the way

689
00:41:39,320 --> 00:41:41,279
Speaker 2: he was the guy always who had the vinyl and

690
00:41:41,400 --> 00:41:44,719
Speaker 2: nobody had ever heard and like was that person. And

691
00:41:45,239 --> 00:41:47,640
Speaker 2: Tig was talking about this time in high school where

692
00:41:50,080 --> 00:41:53,080
Speaker 2: he was grounded but hadn't told anyone. So Tig went

693
00:41:53,120 --> 00:41:54,960
Speaker 2: over to his house and then his mom came home

694
00:41:55,640 --> 00:41:57,839
Speaker 2: and there's that panic moment of like, oh my god,

695
00:41:57,880 --> 00:41:59,560
Speaker 2: I have to get out of here. And Tig jumped

696
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:02,560
Speaker 2: off the room of the second floor to like run

697
00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:06,239
Speaker 2: out of the house and said, like, wouldn't recommend it,

698
00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:08,800
Speaker 2: but also it was the most courageous thing I've ever done.

699
00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:11,120
Speaker 2: And now as an adult, anytime I have to do

700
00:42:11,160 --> 00:42:14,960
Speaker 2: something hard, I think, like, come on, like just jump

701
00:42:15,040 --> 00:42:17,640
Speaker 2: off the roof and I'll imagine it. And then the

702
00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:20,040
Speaker 2: thing that I haven't been able to say comes out

703
00:42:20,080 --> 00:42:21,720
Speaker 2: of my mouth, or the thing that I've been scared

704
00:42:21,719 --> 00:42:26,759
Speaker 2: to do, I'm doing and I think I didn't know

705
00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:29,399
Speaker 2: why reading that reflection stuck with me in the way

706
00:42:29,440 --> 00:42:32,239
Speaker 2: that it did, And I realize now it's because I'm

707
00:42:32,280 --> 00:42:33,919
Speaker 2: thinking about the end of the year, and I'm thinking

708
00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:40,799
Speaker 2: about the answers to so many of these questions for us,

709
00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:45,920
Speaker 2: for me, and it's that like sometimes you just have

710
00:42:45,960 --> 00:42:47,160
Speaker 2: to jump to know you can.

711
00:42:50,160 --> 00:42:53,719
Speaker 1: It's powerful and profound, and I'm going to shift this

712
00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:57,480
Speaker 1: energy because it is so sweet and so lushy and

713
00:42:57,520 --> 00:42:57,959
Speaker 1: so heavy.

714
00:42:58,000 --> 00:42:59,719
Speaker 2: Because we've been having the big talk to.

715
00:42:59,680 --> 00:43:02,400
Speaker 1: The let's do a little holiday cheer.

716
00:43:02,600 --> 00:43:04,919
Speaker 2: You mean you want to let people in on our yes,

717
00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:06,720
Speaker 2: our normal.

718
00:43:08,120 --> 00:43:12,319
Speaker 1: To close out season one. Okay, because Christmas is lit

719
00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:16,160
Speaker 1: and colorful and taki and wild and messy and all

720
00:43:16,200 --> 00:43:17,480
Speaker 1: the fucking things in between.

721
00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:21,319
Speaker 2: And I want to just say, Okay, you just.

722
00:43:21,239 --> 00:43:25,120
Speaker 1: Said taki, it's fun, Christmas is fucking dacky, but you

723
00:43:25,640 --> 00:43:27,280
Speaker 1: but you don't like things.

724
00:43:27,719 --> 00:43:32,279
Speaker 2: I refrained from doing full tinsel trees this year.

725
00:43:32,560 --> 00:43:34,200
Speaker 1: What the fuck is tinsil trees?

726
00:43:34,280 --> 00:43:37,720
Speaker 2: The hanging, the silver, it gets everywhere.

727
00:43:39,120 --> 00:43:41,280
Speaker 1: That feels you said Christmas and Taki.

728
00:43:41,840 --> 00:43:43,760
Speaker 2: Next year, I just want you to be prepared.

729
00:43:44,760 --> 00:43:49,640
Speaker 1: The only tassels I know is the booby tassels like

730
00:43:49,800 --> 00:43:51,239
Speaker 1: you ever, like.

731
00:43:51,280 --> 00:43:53,160
Speaker 2: You have ever worn a teddy tassel.

732
00:43:53,880 --> 00:43:55,640
Speaker 1: I would gladly wear a titty tassel.

733
00:43:57,520 --> 00:43:59,400
Speaker 2: We need to just like put you in the background

734
00:43:59,440 --> 00:44:01,440
Speaker 2: of the next to Move On rouge movie and see

735
00:44:01,480 --> 00:44:05,560
Speaker 2: what happened? You have too many tattoos? Yeah, or maybe not?

736
00:44:05,719 --> 00:44:06,600
Speaker 2: Maybe that's the vibe.

737
00:44:06,600 --> 00:44:08,720
Speaker 1: I free the city tassels.

738
00:44:08,760 --> 00:44:10,800
Speaker 2: Somebody called Christinagula.

739
00:44:11,800 --> 00:44:17,480
Speaker 1: Okay, hot cocoa or muld wine mulled wine. I love

740
00:44:17,560 --> 00:44:22,319
Speaker 1: that real tree or fake tree, fake tree? I know,

741
00:44:22,360 --> 00:44:24,600
Speaker 1: we fuck with fake tree. We use so many fake trees.

742
00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:29,400
Speaker 2: Listen. We also like when you have kids. Any fire

743
00:44:29,480 --> 00:44:31,920
Speaker 2: hazard is a numb I love a tree. I love

744
00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:33,719
Speaker 2: the way they smell, but it's too much maintenance. I

745
00:44:33,760 --> 00:44:36,399
Speaker 2: want to have the tree up for at least six weeks,

746
00:44:36,440 --> 00:44:39,920
Speaker 2: which is impossible to thee we talk too.

747
00:44:39,920 --> 00:44:42,800
Speaker 1: Much, Okay, but also I'm seeing people cut down trees

748
00:44:42,840 --> 00:44:45,440
Speaker 1: and there's creatures in it. The possum.

749
00:44:45,600 --> 00:44:47,080
Speaker 2: Now was that real video?

750
00:44:47,280 --> 00:44:47,680
Speaker 1: I don't know.

751
00:44:47,760 --> 00:44:50,200
Speaker 2: AI is really confusing, I know, but normally I'm good

752
00:44:50,200 --> 00:44:53,200
Speaker 2: at spotting it, and that one felt pretty frickin' real

753
00:44:53,239 --> 00:44:53,880
Speaker 2: to me. I don't know.

754
00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:56,040
Speaker 1: Okay, this is good for you. And I already know

755
00:44:56,080 --> 00:44:58,200
Speaker 1: the answer, but I don't know if everyone else does.

756
00:44:59,120 --> 00:45:02,080
Speaker 1: Your favorite Christ Smith's movie that you can quote almost

757
00:45:02,120 --> 00:45:06,799
Speaker 1: every line? I mean, it's embarrassing. What's the other one

758
00:45:06,920 --> 00:45:09,720
Speaker 1: that you made us tortured all of us to watch?

759
00:45:10,239 --> 00:45:16,640
Speaker 1: What with Nikki and Nia and Patrick and maybe Renee. Wait,

760
00:45:16,760 --> 00:45:20,279
Speaker 1: when we were up we were upstate, it was you

761
00:45:20,320 --> 00:45:22,279
Speaker 1: were like, honey, you've never watched this, it's so good,

762
00:45:22,280 --> 00:45:24,560
Speaker 1: and you were quoting every line. And I wanted to.

763
00:45:24,760 --> 00:45:27,080
Speaker 2: Obviously not love actually because it was that movie. What

764
00:45:27,200 --> 00:45:27,360
Speaker 2: was it?

765
00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:30,360
Speaker 1: We are gabbled here The Princess Bride.

766
00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:31,880
Speaker 2: That is not a Christmas movie.

767
00:45:32,280 --> 00:45:36,120
Speaker 1: I'm not saying it is. It's terrible, The Christmas Bride.

768
00:45:37,080 --> 00:45:38,360
Speaker 2: I'm not away, jummy wife.

769
00:45:38,480 --> 00:45:42,759
Speaker 1: See that's so funny. What was it? We're gabbled here

770
00:45:42,960 --> 00:45:45,720
Speaker 1: to day it's so good?

771
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:47,960
Speaker 2: And then my name is Nicoya.

772
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:52,360
Speaker 1: But this is what happens when you're with an after

773
00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:56,720
Speaker 1: come on, it's and now Sloan's running around k pop

774
00:45:56,760 --> 00:45:59,880
Speaker 1: is she knows every line to K pop is absolutely insane,

775
00:46:00,560 --> 00:46:03,320
Speaker 1: and we have to build stages for her to perform. Yeah,

776
00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:06,279
Speaker 1: and now we have Ocean running around into too two. Hey,

777
00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:08,000
Speaker 1: it's just chaotic and the.

778
00:46:07,920 --> 00:46:10,040
Speaker 2: Best boys can be ballet dancers. I love it.

779
00:46:10,160 --> 00:46:16,879
Speaker 1: They sure can best holiday smell pine cookies or a

780
00:46:16,920 --> 00:46:18,280
Speaker 1: wood burning fire.

781
00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:22,000
Speaker 2: Wood burning fire, for me, that's it. Even like being

782
00:46:22,040 --> 00:46:25,400
Speaker 2: on a walk in the neighborhood and smelling it like

783
00:46:25,520 --> 00:46:27,359
Speaker 2: someone has a fire going. Oh my god.

784
00:46:27,440 --> 00:46:29,840
Speaker 1: It's really confusing for me because every time we have

785
00:46:29,880 --> 00:46:33,800
Speaker 1: a bonfire upstate, you're like, ah, my hair smells like smoke?

786
00:46:34,440 --> 00:46:37,400
Speaker 2: What it does? It's not that I don't love it,

787
00:46:37,400 --> 00:46:38,719
Speaker 2: It's that I just don't want to like take it

788
00:46:38,760 --> 00:46:40,960
Speaker 2: into the house, into the sheet.

789
00:46:41,040 --> 00:46:43,960
Speaker 1: Okay, so we're talking about a wood fire that doesn't

790
00:46:43,960 --> 00:46:45,960
Speaker 1: make your hair smell, just not as bonfire.

791
00:46:46,200 --> 00:46:48,760
Speaker 2: I love a bonfire. Also, I just have to stand

792
00:46:48,800 --> 00:46:49,560
Speaker 2: in the right place.

793
00:46:49,719 --> 00:46:54,600
Speaker 1: Okay, do do you like I know the answer to this,

794
00:46:54,680 --> 00:46:58,080
Speaker 1: but not everyone does. Do I know the answer? Do

795
00:46:58,120 --> 00:47:01,040
Speaker 1: you like to wrap your gifts or bag your gifts?

796
00:47:01,800 --> 00:47:03,960
Speaker 2: Tell the people she's so crazy.

797
00:47:04,239 --> 00:47:06,560
Speaker 1: She has a rib she has one hundred ribbons. She

798
00:47:06,600 --> 00:47:09,200
Speaker 1: has Everything has to have a theme. So this year

799
00:47:09,360 --> 00:47:12,840
Speaker 1: ours is gold, champagne and red.

800
00:47:13,480 --> 00:47:18,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, we have metallic gold matt red and then we

801
00:47:18,080 --> 00:47:19,719
Speaker 2: have a red and green.

802
00:47:19,560 --> 00:47:22,520
Speaker 1: Plaid matching pajamas.

803
00:47:22,560 --> 00:47:26,480
Speaker 2: An absolutely yes or no always, Oh my god, it's

804
00:47:26,480 --> 00:47:30,560
Speaker 2: the sweetest thing, especially like listen, you know we get older.

805
00:47:30,600 --> 00:47:33,000
Speaker 1: We're a pajama type of family, so we go hard

806
00:47:33,040 --> 00:47:33,520
Speaker 1: on the paint.

807
00:47:33,600 --> 00:47:36,640
Speaker 2: But also maybe there's like a milestone birthday, like you're fortieth.

808
00:47:36,680 --> 00:47:38,359
Speaker 2: I wanted to throw you the best party of your life.

809
00:47:39,160 --> 00:47:44,399
Speaker 2: I like, I don't know every year in between, once

810
00:47:44,400 --> 00:47:46,840
Speaker 2: you're in your decades, I don't think really matters. I

811
00:47:46,840 --> 00:47:49,520
Speaker 2: don't want stuff. I don't need like a big thing.

812
00:47:49,560 --> 00:47:53,279
Speaker 2: I'd rather have an experience, go somewhere. But like the

813
00:47:53,360 --> 00:47:55,880
Speaker 2: one thing if it's like the rule is no gifts,

814
00:47:55,960 --> 00:47:59,440
Speaker 2: but let's do pajamas. I love it. It's so sweet.

815
00:48:00,120 --> 00:48:04,000
Speaker 1: Love a PJ party and cuttle puddle tonight in this home.

816
00:48:05,520 --> 00:48:08,239
Speaker 1: Do you like as an LA girl? Do you like

817
00:48:08,480 --> 00:48:13,080
Speaker 1: a beach sunny Christmas or a snowy white Christmas?

818
00:48:13,080 --> 00:48:15,080
Speaker 2: Snowy white Christmas? I want to be in the woods.

819
00:48:15,120 --> 00:48:16,239
Speaker 2: I want to be in the mountain here. I want

820
00:48:16,239 --> 00:48:17,000
Speaker 2: to be on a lake.

821
00:48:17,160 --> 00:48:21,400
Speaker 1: I do like water, I will say, stand in your feet.

822
00:48:23,040 --> 00:48:25,920
Speaker 2: I not really. You love the beach, so I love

823
00:48:26,080 --> 00:48:26,480
Speaker 2: the beach.

824
00:48:26,560 --> 00:48:27,359
Speaker 1: Hates it, I.

825
00:48:27,320 --> 00:48:30,759
Speaker 2: Will say, now having seen sea turtles nesting on the beach.

826
00:48:30,760 --> 00:48:32,080
Speaker 2: I want to go to the beach all the time.

827
00:48:32,120 --> 00:48:35,000
Speaker 2: That was a profound experience for me, like full being

828
00:48:35,040 --> 00:48:42,480
Speaker 2: inter national geographic episode. But Renee, our Lovely Ozzie has

829
00:48:42,520 --> 00:48:44,719
Speaker 2: me really curious at least once in my life to

830
00:48:44,719 --> 00:48:48,120
Speaker 2: see Australian Christmas because they're in the Southern Hemisphere, which

831
00:48:48,160 --> 00:48:51,080
Speaker 2: means their Christmas is high summer. So she's like, what

832
00:48:51,120 --> 00:48:53,040
Speaker 2: do you mean we have a barbecue on the beach

833
00:48:53,160 --> 00:48:56,759
Speaker 2: on the water on Christmas Day? There's like a Santa

834
00:48:56,800 --> 00:48:59,520
Speaker 2: on a beach buggy and I'm like, what I have

835
00:48:59,600 --> 00:49:00,000
Speaker 2: to expect.

836
00:49:00,560 --> 00:49:03,719
Speaker 1: I grew up in Florida my whole life. Well it's

837
00:49:03,760 --> 00:49:05,120
Speaker 1: not that great, but.

838
00:49:05,120 --> 00:49:08,440
Speaker 2: We could go to Australia and then it's experience. And

839
00:49:08,480 --> 00:49:09,000
Speaker 2: then we see.

840
00:49:08,960 --> 00:49:10,560
Speaker 1: Them wants to go to Florida, but we get it.

841
00:49:10,960 --> 00:49:11,600
Speaker 2: Well that was ron.

842
00:49:13,360 --> 00:49:17,239
Speaker 1: It's an app The queers aren't going to fall. What's

843
00:49:17,239 --> 00:49:22,840
Speaker 1: your favorite ornament on the tree right now? Out of

844
00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:26,080
Speaker 1: all the ones that you've purchased and made, because there's

845
00:49:26,120 --> 00:49:29,080
Speaker 1: a little bit of both, Well, what's your favorite?

846
00:49:29,480 --> 00:49:34,279
Speaker 2: Someone just sent us really sweetly as a surprise. They

847
00:49:34,320 --> 00:49:37,640
Speaker 2: took a still of a photo from my birthday of

848
00:49:37,680 --> 00:49:40,680
Speaker 2: you and I and made it into a glass ornament,

849
00:49:40,800 --> 00:49:44,439
Speaker 2: and like it was the most unexpected and sweetest thing.

850
00:49:44,520 --> 00:49:46,480
Speaker 2: And now I want to get the mid of the kids.

851
00:49:46,560 --> 00:49:50,120
Speaker 1: The ornaments are so sweet and our kids are bringing

852
00:49:50,160 --> 00:49:53,920
Speaker 1: them home every year from school. Oh my god, I

853
00:49:53,920 --> 00:49:56,520
Speaker 1: could sob And it's so tacky and so cheesy. It's

854
00:49:56,560 --> 00:49:59,000
Speaker 1: the only time I love it. No, it's because it's

855
00:49:59,040 --> 00:50:01,840
Speaker 1: like a short stint and then it's gone. No, I

856
00:50:01,840 --> 00:50:03,319
Speaker 1: couldn't live in the chaos.

857
00:50:03,600 --> 00:50:05,400
Speaker 2: Well, we couldn't have it out all the time. No,

858
00:50:06,080 --> 00:50:08,520
Speaker 2: but it's really fun. More is more at Christmas.

859
00:50:08,239 --> 00:50:12,600
Speaker 1: Night, which one of us is always last minute Christmas shopping.

860
00:50:16,800 --> 00:50:19,320
Speaker 2: Okay, you can throw me under the bus, honey, I

861
00:50:19,360 --> 00:50:23,839
Speaker 2: don't care. Yeah, but here's the thing. You're better at

862
00:50:23,960 --> 00:50:27,919
Speaker 2: knowing when a gift or a holiday is approaching. I

863
00:50:28,040 --> 00:50:30,480
Speaker 2: see something that reminds me of someone, I'll save it

864
00:50:30,520 --> 00:50:32,920
Speaker 2: for two years if I don't get to see them,

865
00:50:32,960 --> 00:50:36,640
Speaker 2: if I'm gone. I collect things for people. I'm a

866
00:50:36,640 --> 00:50:39,760
Speaker 2: little bit like a magpie. I nest all year round,

867
00:50:40,080 --> 00:50:42,640
Speaker 2: so sometimes I have a plethora of things for someone,

868
00:50:42,680 --> 00:50:45,680
Speaker 2: and sometimes I'm in a panic the night before. But

869
00:50:45,719 --> 00:50:48,879
Speaker 2: you're more likely in a panic the night before I am.

870
00:50:48,920 --> 00:50:55,040
Speaker 1: I am a last minute panicked running around freaking out. Yeah,

871
00:50:55,080 --> 00:50:58,000
Speaker 1: and I hate that about myself, but it's just that

872
00:50:58,120 --> 00:51:00,879
Speaker 1: is just me. I've got too many things to sort through.

873
00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:02,560
Speaker 2: We've only got as much time in the day as

874
00:51:02,600 --> 00:51:03,760
Speaker 2: we have and it's never enough.

875
00:51:03,840 --> 00:51:06,920
Speaker 1: So okay to tie everything in a bow. That's the

876
00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:09,959
Speaker 1: last rapid fire re questions and we're on our last sip. Okay,

877
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:13,640
Speaker 1: So I'm going to say this to home, to healing,

878
00:51:14,920 --> 00:51:16,960
Speaker 1: to being brave enough to begin again.

879
00:51:17,800 --> 00:51:18,720
Speaker 2: It's so sweet.

880
00:51:19,440 --> 00:51:21,759
Speaker 1: Happy holidays everyone in Merry Christmas.

881
00:51:21,760 --> 00:51:23,160
Speaker 2: Merry Christmas.

882
00:51:25,840 --> 00:51:29,239
Speaker 1: All right, fam, that's our show. I don't know about you,

883
00:51:29,320 --> 00:51:31,759
Speaker 1: but my heart is very full. So thank you so

884
00:51:31,920 --> 00:51:34,960
Speaker 1: much for showing up with me, for being open, honest,

885
00:51:35,560 --> 00:51:39,120
Speaker 1: ridiculous at times, and brilliant as always, all the things

886
00:51:39,120 --> 00:51:41,959
Speaker 1: you are and I never want you to change. Ending

887
00:51:42,040 --> 00:51:46,400
Speaker 1: this season one feels exactly the way it should. It

888
00:51:46,400 --> 00:51:49,560
Speaker 1: feels like a reminder that even after the hardest years,

889
00:51:49,840 --> 00:51:53,319
Speaker 1: we get to rebuild, We get to redefine what home

890
00:51:53,400 --> 00:51:55,960
Speaker 1: looks like. We get to start again. We get to

891
00:51:56,040 --> 00:52:01,160
Speaker 1: laugh again, dream again, and love again. Everyone listening, thank

892
00:52:01,200 --> 00:52:03,960
Speaker 1: you for rocking with me through the first season of

893
00:52:04,000 --> 00:52:07,680
Speaker 1: Wide Open. Thank you for showing up, thank you for

894
00:52:07,719 --> 00:52:10,640
Speaker 1: sharing your own stories, for being a part of this

895
00:52:10,719 --> 00:52:14,680
Speaker 1: community we're building from the ground up. My hope is

896
00:52:14,760 --> 00:52:18,880
Speaker 1: this episode gives you permission to slow down, to breathe,

897
00:52:19,200 --> 00:52:23,760
Speaker 1: to receive whatever this season has for you. The holiday

898
00:52:23,800 --> 00:52:26,880
Speaker 1: can be heavy, but it can also be magic, and

899
00:52:26,920 --> 00:52:30,399
Speaker 1: it could be everything in between. So wherever you are

900
00:52:30,480 --> 00:52:33,440
Speaker 1: right now, I'm raising my glass to you, which we

901
00:52:33,640 --> 00:52:37,600
Speaker 1: just did, to growth, to healing, to honesty, to rest,

902
00:52:38,520 --> 00:52:42,160
Speaker 1: to joy, and to the courage it takes to start again.

903
00:52:43,040 --> 00:52:46,120
Speaker 1: I love you all. I'll see you all into new year.

904
00:52:47,280 --> 00:52:49,480
Speaker 1: Season two is coming in hot and you don't want

905
00:52:49,520 --> 00:52:52,920
Speaker 1: to miss it. So Happy New Year, Merry Christmas, and

906
00:52:52,960 --> 00:52:55,319
Speaker 1: thank you for getting Wide Open with me for this

907
00:52:55,480 --> 00:53:01,959
Speaker 1: last year. Happy Holidays everyone, Happy Holidays, Thanks for coming

908
00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:11,840
Speaker 1: on the show. I love you, I Love you. Wide

909
00:53:11,880 --> 00:53:15,520
Speaker 1: Open with Ashland Harris is an iHeart women's sports production.

910
00:53:16,080 --> 00:53:19,640
Speaker 1: You can find us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

911
00:53:19,920 --> 00:53:23,880
Speaker 1: or wherever you get your podcasts. Our producers are Carmen

912
00:53:24,040 --> 00:53:29,800
Speaker 1: Borca Correo, Emily Maronov, and Lucy Jones. Production assistants from

913
00:53:30,200 --> 00:53:35,680
Speaker 1: Malia Aguidello. Our executive producers are Jesse Katz, Jenny Kaplan,

914
00:53:35,800 --> 00:53:40,080
Speaker 1: and Emily Rudder. Our editors are Jenny Kaplan and Emily Rudder.

915
00:53:40,400 --> 00:53:48,719
Speaker 1: And I'm your Host Ashlyn Harris.