Speaker 1: Nicky Glazer. Yes, yes, Nicky here I am. Hey everyone,
Speaker 1: welcome to the Nicki Glazer Podcast. Thank you for joining me.
Speaker 1: And later on Andrew and of course Noah is always
Speaker 1: here in Arizona, but right now she's in New Yorker,
Speaker 1: New York A. Yeah, yeah, that's right, picking up a
Speaker 1: kitty cat tomorrow. Oh my god, are you so excited?
Speaker 1: I'm I'm excited, almost a little nervous. Why let's talk
Speaker 1: about it. I think just because of the commitment I'm
Speaker 1: about to make, and I've never had a cat before,
Speaker 1: so I don't know how he's gonna I am so
Speaker 1: excited for you. Like I've been talking. I just um
Speaker 1: I mentioned her before, but David Spay's assistant, who I
Speaker 1: was instantly like friends with, she was talking about having
Speaker 1: cats and sorry to like bring that she recently lost
Speaker 1: a cat that she had for like, you know, since
Speaker 1: she really long time, and like just the way she
Speaker 1: was crying about it, and the way that she processed
Speaker 1: the grief and like went through it and like as
Speaker 1: sad as it was. I was like, oh, wow, it's
Speaker 1: so cool that someone can feel this way about an
Speaker 1: animal that for me, cats just seem kind of like
Speaker 1: we don't care that you're there, Like, they just don't
Speaker 1: seem as I've never been as inclined to get one
Speaker 1: as much as dogs, because dogs just seem so needy
Speaker 1: and like give you what you want, even though Luigi
Speaker 1: definitely doesn't anymore. Um, I just was like, and I've
Speaker 1: always been sold on pretty much every animal. You guys
Speaker 1: know that I loved that wingless bumblebee and was like
Speaker 1: sobbing in my bed over it. Um, but I'm just
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm thinking about getting a cat too, because
Speaker 1: they are more low maintenance, and um, they're just I
Speaker 1: like things that play hard to get and everyone I
Speaker 1: love loves cats, so the musical but also the animal.
Speaker 1: And I just feel like that's all the evidence I need.
Speaker 1: And I have the room in my heart and in
Speaker 1: my apartment and the money to like maybe take one
Speaker 1: that needs medical care, you know, like why am I
Speaker 1: not giving back? And I definitely want to make sure
Speaker 1: that it would fit into my life, but I think
Speaker 1: Luigi would enjoy it, but I don't know. I just
Speaker 1: seeing my friend Heather talk about her cat passing away,
Speaker 1: even though it was like, God, I would never want
Speaker 1: that pain. Um, it kind of sold me on the
Speaker 1: bond of a cat, and she said her other cat,
Speaker 1: which was normally like the one that needs a lot
Speaker 1: of attention, is always kind of like bothering her and
Speaker 1: like won't let her give more attention to the other one.
Speaker 1: When the other one was dying all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: and it came on really fast, even though it's like
Speaker 1: an old cat, it just happened very quickly got cancer.
Speaker 1: And she said the other cat just like stayed away
Speaker 1: and was like, this is the other cats time, Like
Speaker 1: they're so intuitive and they're so smart, and that's why
Speaker 1: they don't need us. Is that like they they know better.
Speaker 1: And I think you're gonna learn from your cat, like
Speaker 1: what kind of And then I'll just finish this by
Speaker 1: saying that it was really beautiful like when she came
Speaker 1: she left to go put the cat down, and she
Speaker 1: like talked to the cat that was, you know, the
Speaker 1: cat's friend sister. I think I think they were siblings
Speaker 1: and was like, you know, this is goodbye, and the
Speaker 1: cat just like didn't freak out like it normally does
Speaker 1: when she leaves. And then when she came back, it
Speaker 1: was just very nurturing to her and like more having
Speaker 1: its own sense of morning. And I was just like
Speaker 1: so beautiful that first of all, she had a cat
Speaker 1: to comfort her through her cat's loss, and and just
Speaker 1: you know, that's what sold me on the bumblebee thing.
Speaker 1: And I want to get a bumblebee too. Is because
Speaker 1: these animals that, you know, I had it in my
Speaker 1: mind that cats were just not like that affectionate. And
Speaker 1: you know, I only based this off of my grandma's cat,
Speaker 1: who was given to us after my grandma passed. And
Speaker 1: now I feel so sad for Tutsi and how she
Speaker 1: was probably so scared and like we were just kids
Speaker 1: and was like Tutsi come out from under the bed
Speaker 1: and it's like Tutsy's morning, you know, And like, uh so,
Speaker 1: I just think there's like worlds of love and things
Speaker 1: you'll learn from this cat, and like you can do
Speaker 1: anything now you're you figure out everything. You were reading
Speaker 1: a book about how to like install wires into your
Speaker 1: walls and stuff, like you just go to the library
Speaker 1: and like pick up a book about I just bought
Speaker 1: my nephew Arlot, a book about big cats. If you
Speaker 1: want me to send that. It's a very easy read.
Speaker 1: It has like four words per page. Um what have
Speaker 1: what have you learned about cats in your research? Because
Speaker 1: I know you've done a ton um that is like
Speaker 1: making you excited slash nervous about this. Okay, So the
Speaker 1: first thing, Um, when I really like like look into
Speaker 1: what my hesitation is, it's just I'm just afraid that
Speaker 1: I'll fail and that I'll have to give the cat up.
Speaker 1: And then I just never want to put an animal
Speaker 1: in a shelter after I've committed to taking it. So
Speaker 1: that's that's it. But can I just say one thing
Speaker 1: for that, You will not put it to a shelter
Speaker 1: if you need to give it up. That's just that's
Speaker 1: not something you do. You wouldn't even if the cat
Speaker 1: like scratched your face and like murdered your fiance, you
Speaker 1: would not bring it to a shelter. Oh, Andrew's home.
Speaker 1: The dog's barking. I'm going to take that dog to
Speaker 1: the shelter later on today because of the bark. You
Speaker 1: can't interrupt my podcast, Luigi. You know I said one
Speaker 1: strike and you're out. I don't give him three. So
Speaker 1: you wouldn't do that. So that fear is illogical because
Speaker 1: you wouldn't. You would find a home for it with
Speaker 1: that you trusted, like I did with my dogs when
Speaker 1: they became like I couldn't give them the care I wanted.
Speaker 1: I gave them to my parents, who I had known
Speaker 1: were good caretakers. And like, you'll find a good place
Speaker 1: for it. Oh, you'll find a rescue that places it
Speaker 1: in a good place. So um, and you won't be
Speaker 1: a failure. But yes, okay, so it's not gonna end
Speaker 1: up in a shelter again. So that fear is okay,
Speaker 1: but you might still fail real fear. Okay, what's another fear?
Speaker 1: And I'm not I'm sorry to disprove these. I just
Speaker 1: wanted to jump in and say that just won't have
Speaker 1: you won't do that to your cat. Yeah, so that's it.
Speaker 1: I got a very good tip from one of our besties.
Speaker 1: Her name is mom Mom Moon. She has reached out
Speaker 1: to me because I asked for some tips and she
Speaker 1: gave me a really good one that I didn't know
Speaker 1: about about having to um uh to litter boxes in
Speaker 1: the house, not just one. So that was a good
Speaker 1: one that I didn't know about. I should get an
Speaker 1: extra one for Andrew. Yeah, um that is he compared
Speaker 1: is um he compared something to a litter box the
Speaker 1: other day that he never changed, and I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: that seems about right. That's a good that's a good plan.
Speaker 1: I think that, Um, is it going to be an
Speaker 1: outdoor cat? What are we? What are we doing here? No?
Speaker 1: Nobody good. It's so many birds die because of that,
Speaker 1: And I don't want to create any enemies with people
Speaker 1: that have outdoor cats, but they just kill so many
Speaker 1: birds a year, and we all know how I feel
Speaker 1: about birds, but I feel that way about cat. I'm
Speaker 1: not mad at the cat either. That's cats just being itself.
Speaker 1: I never get mad at animals for being dis um
Speaker 1: except Luigi just now because it's just like he knows
Speaker 1: what I'm podcasting, and like he loves podcasts too, so
Speaker 1: he should appreciate like ones that don't have like ambient
Speaker 1: noise in the background. Um. Yeah, I'm excited, you know what.
Speaker 1: It's so exciting to take on a new responsibility that
Speaker 1: you're like, can I do this? I mean, I have
Speaker 1: a friend who is pregnant, and like the second I
Speaker 1: was gonna say he because sometimes they change the gender
Speaker 1: to protect people, but that ain't gonna work in this scenario.
Speaker 1: Well it could if she she identifies now as a
Speaker 1: he and like that's up to them. But she um,
Speaker 1: it's like oh my god, like I I can I
Speaker 1: do this? Like freaking out. And I was like, this
Speaker 1: must be I've never been pregnant, but it must be
Speaker 1: a common fear of women who are trying to conceive,
Speaker 1: And like, I mean this, this friend of mine is
Speaker 1: obsessed with kids. All she talks about is like I
Speaker 1: could I want to be a mother? Like oh what's
Speaker 1: look at that mother over there, Like it just was
Speaker 1: in her. She was already like getting ready to do this,
Speaker 1: and so I go, this is you wanted this. It's
Speaker 1: so weird that sometimes when we get the things that
Speaker 1: we want, or the things we sign up for the
Speaker 1: things we then we freak out because man, I relate
Speaker 1: to that. But no one knows how to be a mom.
Speaker 1: No one knows how to be a cat owner, no
Speaker 1: one else how to do anything until you do it.
Speaker 1: You can read all the books, you can talk to
Speaker 1: all the people, and you should because I hate when
Speaker 1: parents go there's no manual on how to be a
Speaker 1: good parent. It's like, yes, there is. There's like sections
Speaker 1: of bookstores, like whole shelves about parenting, like you could
Speaker 1: read a book, stop like acting like you know, I
Speaker 1: love that people go if I have to go see
Speaker 1: a parenting expert or read a book that I'm not
Speaker 1: meant to be a parent, or if I have to
Speaker 1: go to therapy, if I have to go to couples counselor,
Speaker 1: then we should just break up because if we can't
Speaker 1: do it on our own. Listen to me when I
Speaker 1: say that again, because I just use this logic on
Speaker 1: someone and it like blew their mind the person, because
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people are in relationships where
Speaker 1: it's like, wow, we could really use a mediator because
Speaker 1: we just fall into the same patterns of fighting and
Speaker 1: you know, and not that you know what's right and
Speaker 1: they don't know what's right, and you're like, oh, they're
Speaker 1: so stubborn. Maybe you feel that way, but you're probably
Speaker 1: communicating in a way that's making it hard to get
Speaker 1: anything accomplished and to negotiate with your partner and couples counselings.
Speaker 1: So many people I've heard over there your say, dude,
Speaker 1: if you have to go to a counselor or a
Speaker 1: therapist as a couple, you're dead in the water. It's over,
Speaker 1: Like that's a sign, especially if it's early and it's
Speaker 1: like no, okay, we'll use this logic. And I'm talking
Speaker 1: to women mainly because this is a good one for men,
Speaker 1: but men too. If you're you're you have a girlfriend
Speaker 1: that's stubborn about going to therapy, really hasn't been to
Speaker 1: it before, go okay, Well, when you want to get
Speaker 1: in shape, Um, you have arms and muscles, and like
Speaker 1: you know where weights are, why don't you just like
Speaker 1: lift weights? Like isn't that common knowledge? Like, because I
Speaker 1: think a lot of people go, if we can't make
Speaker 1: this work on our own, Like, if it's not just easy,
Speaker 1: then it's not going to happen. How many times have
Speaker 1: people gotten in shape in different ways or a train
Speaker 1: or has unlocked something that you could have done on
Speaker 1: your own, but you didn't have You didn't know to
Speaker 1: bend that way or to not to keep your back straight,
Speaker 1: like these little things and you don't have to go
Speaker 1: to them the rest of your life. You pick up
Speaker 1: things along the way. So if you relate therapy to trainers,
Speaker 1: a lot of people will relate, especially men, because men
Speaker 1: love fitness and they can totally understand going to a trainer.
Speaker 1: But they will never understand, not never, but it's harder
Speaker 1: for them to grasp in an emotional trainer. Pretty Much,
Speaker 1: your brain is like your body, and you need a
Speaker 1: doctor for it, just like you need a doctor for
Speaker 1: everything else in your body, except me, because I haven't
Speaker 1: gone to the doctor in so long. I'm so excited
Speaker 1: about you getting a cat. I kind of want a
Speaker 1: cat now. I'm like talking myself into a cat, but
Speaker 1: I talk to myself into a different animal all the time.
Speaker 1: I'm getting ready to have a film crew in my life,
Speaker 1: a lot um, and Luigi barks at everything that comes in,
Speaker 1: So I'm thinking about him living with my parents for
Speaker 1: a little bit and then maybe getting a cat that's
Speaker 1: more chill about, like film film crews. I don't know,
Speaker 1: but you know, I was always reluctant to even share
Speaker 1: that I let my pets be taken care of by
Speaker 1: my parents while I couldn't give them the best life,
Speaker 1: because you know, I remember Lena Dunham Dunham game up
Speaker 1: her rescue dog or give it to a friend or something,
Speaker 1: and people freaked or gave it back and they're like
Speaker 1: freaked out, like that's the worst thing you can do.
Speaker 1: And of course it's like not ideal, like don't sign
Speaker 1: up for something you don't think you can do. But
Speaker 1: you know, sometimes like the first day I got Luigi
Speaker 1: as a foster dog, he bit me. And it wasn't
Speaker 1: it was either because it was obviously I didn't know
Speaker 1: how to handle a dog that had his level of abuse.
Speaker 1: But and I remember my parents were visiting from um St.
Speaker 1: Louis when I got Luigi in l A and they
Speaker 1: were like, get rid of this dog. This is not
Speaker 1: going to work out. You need to give him back.
Speaker 1: And I was just like, I was sobbing, just like
Speaker 1: why can't I do this? Like what I know that
Speaker 1: there's ways? So I cut books. I read book thirds
Speaker 1: of books, truly I did. I remember reading Caesar Malan's
Speaker 1: book that you should when you walk your dog and
Speaker 1: when you interact with your dog, act like Cleopatra, act
Speaker 1: like you're the queen because the dog, the dog wants
Speaker 1: to follow a leader. And that really changed everything for me. Um,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I guess have you have you gotten
Speaker 1: any cat books? I haven't gotten cat books. I've just
Speaker 1: been reading online and just talking to different people. I
Speaker 1: think you're right about that. I just have to do
Speaker 1: it and just like go through the experience and I'll
Speaker 1: figure it out. You're one of the most capable of people.
Speaker 1: Like if you know, listeners to the show don't really understand,
Speaker 1: I mean, you all love no and I love that
Speaker 1: because something she doesn't even like. There's not that many
Speaker 1: interactions with her on the show as much as I
Speaker 1: had hoped for, because I can't shut the funk up,
Speaker 1: But like, Noah, is you all When the listeners love
Speaker 1: you and say hi to you two and stuff, I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, they fucking get it. Like Noah's the best.
Speaker 1: Someone actually wrote me yesterday. Can I read this to you? Now?
Speaker 1: You're gonna oh boy, putting me on the spot, I
Speaker 1: know isn't an awkward to get compliments. But I met
Speaker 1: Noah because she was assigned to me and I at
Speaker 1: Serious to be the producer for my Serious show back
Speaker 1: when I started in two thousand eighteen. And I have
Speaker 1: come from TV where you interview a lot of producers
Speaker 1: and then you choose, like it's up to you. It's
Speaker 1: not up to Serious, and so I was kind of like,
Speaker 1: you're just giving me the one person who probably got
Speaker 1: fired from some other job and like needs placement. And
Speaker 1: then your friend rolland my friend Roland vouch for you,
Speaker 1: and I really like trust him, and then I was like,
Speaker 1: you know what, why are you putting up a fight.
Speaker 1: Let's just embrace this. And you came with like not
Speaker 1: only him, but everyone said you were amazing and they
Speaker 1: were really invested in me there, so I didn't think
Speaker 1: they were just going to give me riff raff. And yeah,
Speaker 1: upon first meeting, I looked like your Barbie doll. You
Speaker 1: just you looked so young that I was like this girl,
Speaker 1: but you but you were hungry and like, so I
Speaker 1: gave you a snack and then no, you were just
Speaker 1: you just can figure out anything. You can do anything.
Speaker 1: You've helped me so much in my own life and
Speaker 1: my personal life. You're always there for me. You also
Speaker 1: take care of yourself and have really good boundaries. You're
Speaker 1: just an amazing person and you you can do anything,
Speaker 1: especially take care of a cat, because cats are just
Speaker 1: like I got this bitch, But here's what I got
Speaker 1: from my friend Laura Um Laura and Dallas, who's a
Speaker 1: listener to the show. I went to high school with her.
Speaker 1: She was the first person I talked to when UM
Speaker 1: such over eleventh happened because she was sitting next to
Speaker 1: me in class. Um. But she's a bestie and I'm
Speaker 1: trying to get her to move to St. Louis because
Speaker 1: I want friends. She said, dear Lord, Pet, please pass
Speaker 1: along to Noah that her ad read was so good.
Speaker 1: She seriously has such a great soothing slash sexy slash
Speaker 1: calming voice. What ad read did you do? I don't
Speaker 1: even know this. I did one for like a podcast
Speaker 1: on our network. I don't know if it's that one, dude.
Speaker 1: I loved hearing that so much, but yeah, you're extraordinary
Speaker 1: and I followed your lead though I was because you
Speaker 1: have like a certain voice quality and it really taught
Speaker 1: me that, whoa, these ads are not easy at all,
Speaker 1: even if you have a script. So I just want
Speaker 1: to like send that compliment back to you, because you've
Speaker 1: taught me a lot about on air stuff that I
Speaker 1: didn't really know. So funny before we bring in Drew
Speaker 1: and remember the dsw ads that I think still run
Speaker 1: and I would love to do more. If anyone's listening
Speaker 1: out there, d s dubs um if if and if
Speaker 1: if Dave d s W I think that's his last
Speaker 1: name is listening. I would love to do more. When
Speaker 1: I got the script, it was like, just read this,
Speaker 1: don't paraphrase, and I was like annoyed by that kind
Speaker 1: of prompt, so I was like, I'll just make this
Speaker 1: in and I'll do a joke. I even said, I
Speaker 1: gave you a read, and I go, hey, guys, this
Speaker 1: is Nikki. I'm gonna do this like kind of summertime
Speaker 1: on the radio advertising voice spot where it's like ds
Speaker 1: W the brands you love and trust. And I was
Speaker 1: really doing it as like almost a joke because it
Speaker 1: was part of the read. Be like, I'm going to
Speaker 1: do this as a joke so that I could take
Speaker 1: some kind of like control. You took that part out
Speaker 1: the setup and it just read It's just the read,
Speaker 1: and people kept and I didn't know that and and
Speaker 1: that is was the right move, by the way, because
Speaker 1: people kept writing. It was a hard People kept writing
Speaker 1: me going are you the DSW voice? And I go,
Speaker 1: I think, so, I remember doing a read for them,
Speaker 1: but I didn't remember it was the one that I did,
Speaker 1: the kind of fake one, and they go, is that you?
Speaker 1: It sounds exactly like you, but like not you? And
Speaker 1: then I heard it when I was listening to the
Speaker 1: podcast to see if I was this mean to Andrews
Speaker 1: everyone had said on Reddit, and I heard it and
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, that is a really
Speaker 1: good like that was good. I was. We had a
Speaker 1: fan track that I didn't get to last week or
Speaker 1: the week before, where one of our best dees called
Speaker 1: it and she's like, I love the part where you're like,
Speaker 1: whoa there. Dad actually had a voicemail about that. I like,
Speaker 1: it's funny. That's what you need to do for acting,
Speaker 1: and like voice acting is do a joke of it,
Speaker 1: and then it it ends up sounding like because everything
Speaker 1: is so exaggeraty, you don't even realize it until you
Speaker 1: actually start shooting things and you see that if you
Speaker 1: unless you exaggerate so much like people that do, like
Speaker 1: you know, like serial commercials of like the Harvest is
Speaker 1: Here and fresh blueberries mixed with crunchy oats, Like no
Speaker 1: one talks like that, but it doesn't sound ridiculous in
Speaker 1: an ad. It sounds perfect, and so you need to
Speaker 1: like do as ridiculous as you can and then it
Speaker 1: ends up sounding good. It's wild. Um, all right, let's
Speaker 1: get Andrew in here. Hey, Andrew, don't knock go that
Speaker 1: lava la lamp. Don't knock the lava lamp. We have
Speaker 1: a lava lamp on set, y'all. And um in the middle. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: you can put it in the middle. Yeah, put in
Speaker 1: the middle. Put the lava lamp in the middle of
Speaker 1: the table. How about a hedgehog being stolen by Whitney
Speaker 1: Cummings and now I can't beat a hedgehog anymore. You
Speaker 1: can be the hedgehog. You were the We have documentation
Speaker 1: that you were the original. H h and uh yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean she I sent him a video yesterday that
Speaker 1: she said that her spirit animals and a hedgehog or
Speaker 1: whatever we're saying instead of spirit animal. Now, but um,
Speaker 1: was there a new word for for well, it's it's um.
Speaker 1: That's like a Native American phrase that like white girls
Speaker 1: have adopted to be like, oh my god, Like people
Speaker 1: tell me I'm their spirit animal all the time, which
Speaker 1: is so nice because I know what they're saying, like
Speaker 1: they're like, oh, I want I want to be you.
Speaker 1: I like like I feel like i'm you, um, but
Speaker 1: I'm not. You're like my innermy that I can't show
Speaker 1: or yeah, but I and I am an animal. Humans
Speaker 1: are animals, um, but it's it's I think it's supposed
Speaker 1: to be like an actual like mammal, or or maybe
Speaker 1: not even a mammal. I don't know what you're like.
Speaker 1: What animal do you feel besides the jaguar? What animal
Speaker 1: do you really feel as close to? Is it? Is
Speaker 1: it the hedgehog? I feel like a sloth, but a
Speaker 1: little bit faster, so like a sloth, the fastest sloth.
Speaker 1: I feel like I I attribute a lot sloth on speed.
Speaker 1: Yeah sloth after he took some speed. Yeah, yeah, he
Speaker 1: injected it into his neck. Yeah, you're like that sloth
Speaker 1: that that guy moves off the road and then it
Speaker 1: turns around slowly and like gives him like a piece
Speaker 1: time because slaws only have like two it always looks
Speaker 1: like they're giving it. Literally just did that to my
Speaker 1: uber driver. Yeah, and I was just like I had
Speaker 1: this black guy uber driver who was like the coolest
Speaker 1: guy ever. So I had one the other day too
Speaker 1: that was like my uber driver like real cool sloth
Speaker 1: in the back of just talking about my voice gets
Speaker 1: down here because you emulate anyone's voice they're talking about,
Speaker 1: especially a cool person like and it's not he's not
Speaker 1: cool just because he's black, but but he was. It
Speaker 1: didn't hurt. Andrew has his arms the way you have
Speaker 1: them over the chair is kind of like the way
Speaker 1: a sloth hangs in the tree. Absolutely, you do have
Speaker 1: a yeah, and the this guy was so cool that
Speaker 1: he's like, you know, I was in Iraq, then I
Speaker 1: was in Chicago. My lady wanted to come down St.
Speaker 1: Louis more family like, and I was like, yeah, man,
Speaker 1: I get there and he's like yeah. And then I
Speaker 1: got my boy. He's like, where are you from. It's
Speaker 1: like Florida. He's like, yeah, man, my boy wants to
Speaker 1: come down to Miami. I ain't gonna bring the lady though,
Speaker 1: because you know, because you learned easily. Oh no, no,
Speaker 1: that's not it. And I was just like, yeah, man,
Speaker 1: you could be breaking your neck down there. Like I'm like,
Speaker 1: just like I love here. If next time you have
Speaker 1: an Ubert conversation with someone cooler than you know, I
Speaker 1: need you to record it for us Slice of Life stegment,
Speaker 1: because I mean, you know, before I started kind of
Speaker 1: like pointing it out to you that you would shift
Speaker 1: what you already knew about, because sure I pointed it
Speaker 1: out to you and started calling you out on it. Man,
Speaker 1: you would go on stage anywhere a little bit we go,
Speaker 1: we'd go like one mile south and in New York,
Speaker 1: New Jersey, New Jersey south of Yeah, boy, I feel like, um,
Speaker 1: I don't know New York directions, Like that island just
Speaker 1: shoots out and I get very confused by my surroundings.
Speaker 1: And well, Connecticut I always thought was south, but it's
Speaker 1: north of New York. Yeah, I would have guessed north,
Speaker 1: but I also wouldn't have been sure about that guess.
Speaker 1: But um, yeah, whenever we go a little bit south
Speaker 1: like Atlanta, I mean, and then that's south, Like, let's not,
Speaker 1: We're not, that's definitely south. You're you get you twying
Speaker 1: it up on stage. Um, I do the same thing.
Speaker 1: I mean I can. But that's even if I talk
Speaker 1: to one individual, Like if I talked to someone from
Speaker 1: Long Island, I'm talking with my hands. I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: you went down to the isleway where you and again
Speaker 1: the way you take the uh turnpike done, and and
Speaker 1: I'm like, who the fuck am I Like, I'll get
Speaker 1: done with the conversation and going to shake it off,
Speaker 1: like what am I doing? Whatever? Since I was young,
Speaker 1: you were kind of like, you spit in your you
Speaker 1: have chew in your lip. You're like, how did that
Speaker 1: even get there? When I go down south, it's a
Speaker 1: little slower down there. I just getting my dad. I
Speaker 1: give people what it's it's. I really want to explore it,
Speaker 1: like I think it's gonna be. I don't think I'm
Speaker 1: gonna tackle it for my next special, but like somewhere
Speaker 1: down the road, people pleasing and the different types. It's
Speaker 1: fascinating to me if anyone knows a good book about
Speaker 1: that or like some kind of uh like material or
Speaker 1: podcast about how we shift into other people, because because
Speaker 1: we you know, at least for me, I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: speak for my own perspective. I just didn't want to
Speaker 1: be me. I just and I thought that everyone was.
Speaker 1: I just assumed that everyone else got lucky being born
Speaker 1: the way they were, and I didn't how many different phases.
Speaker 1: Let's go through Nikki's phases, because I had a lot
Speaker 1: of phases my phases. When did your phases started? When
Speaker 1: do you think you started this adaptation? Because I think
Speaker 1: we can probably pinpoint probably probably around the time I
Speaker 1: started going to private school with all Christian kids, like
Speaker 1: I was like eleven or twelve, and my parents started
Speaker 1: fighting and I started I started being called a dumbed
Speaker 1: you in school and then a dumbed you at home
Speaker 1: and I was like, Mom, you're Jewish. You know. She's like,
Speaker 1: you're dumb though you are dumb and I was like, Mom,
Speaker 1: you're drunk, and she's like, who am I? So yeah,
Speaker 1: you just you started having I think it's it's interesting.
Speaker 1: I was watching this about when uh children become aware
Speaker 1: of themselves, Like there's a there's a time when like
Speaker 1: when you're a toddler, you don't know that you're a thing.
Speaker 1: You just start experiencing the outside world. And it's almost
Speaker 1: like the correct way because you aren't a thing. You're
Speaker 1: just consciousness. You're not. I mean, it's that's the best right.
Speaker 1: You're just getting. But you're like, you're like, thing's a movie,
Speaker 1: but you don't have any authority over it, you have
Speaker 1: no influence over it. There was a study there was
Speaker 1: a fascinating way where they showed like exactly the exact
Speaker 1: around age where like a fifteen month old. It's the
Speaker 1: shopping cart experiment. They have this little kid with a
Speaker 1: ppping cart and its mom is like three ft in
Speaker 1: front of them. There's a little shopping cart and the
Speaker 1: shopping cart behind it, like where the kid would push
Speaker 1: is a rug and the wheels are touched the rugs,
Speaker 1: so in order to push the cart you have to
Speaker 1: step off the rug, which which would make a baby
Speaker 1: if they realize because they're pushing it, and they won't push.
Speaker 1: But at like eighteen months, something clicks and the kid
Speaker 1: knows to step off the rug. And it's not because
Speaker 1: they realize rugs and things attached to things. It's because
Speaker 1: they realize that they have influence on things around them.
Speaker 1: And before that the kid cannot understand why the cart
Speaker 1: won't push the kid. And then at like sixty months,
Speaker 1: the kid will start to see something's going on and
Speaker 1: go around to the front wheels, then step back on
Speaker 1: the carpet and trying to put the video in the
Speaker 1: computer like the past like years, Mom has to stand
Speaker 1: on the other side of the camera and go, come on, nicky, upload,
Speaker 1: drag the file over there. Good girl, good girl. Um yeah, no, no,
Speaker 1: Noah gets it. No, Noah's very capable of stuff. We've
Speaker 1: figured it out enough. Today I did some gymnastics, like
Speaker 1: mental gymnastics to get the done, okay, so I'm sorry
Speaker 1: the rug and then this is interesting. So I think
Speaker 1: that that's like the most freedom is before you realize
Speaker 1: you are a thing. That and also before and then
Speaker 1: you then you realize you're a person, and you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: I am accountable for things. People can get mad at me.
Speaker 1: I am responsible for my own behavior, which, by the way,
Speaker 1: you're not like no free will all that stuff, or
Speaker 1: like if you have if you believe in God, like
Speaker 1: God is responsible for you or a higher power whatever.
Speaker 1: And then that takes you thirty seven years to realize
Speaker 1: it's not everything you do is your fault. That takes
Speaker 1: a really long time, but you you go through this
Speaker 1: middle point where you feel like everything you feel, everything
Speaker 1: you think, everything you do is your fault and like
Speaker 1: your add person because of it, and like you. For me,
Speaker 1: I felt like I when I realized I wasn't as
Speaker 1: pretty as other girls or didn't get the boys didn't
Speaker 1: like me, which I didn't even want boys to like me.
Speaker 1: I didn't even care. I just wanted them to like
Speaker 1: me so that if I wanted to, I could could
Speaker 1: do it. But the fact that they didn't want me
Speaker 1: was just so like I thought, I was special and
Speaker 1: like I'm not like Megan's special, Katie's special. And they
Speaker 1: have a thing called um blonde hair that is a
Speaker 1: shape that minds not or I would just find something
Speaker 1: about them and then I would you know, I talked
Speaker 1: like this for a while because there's this girl that
Speaker 1: was really Paul talked like this. So I thought like this,
Speaker 1: And if you went to Kirkwood High School in eighth grade,
Speaker 1: you might know who I'm talking a count, but she
Speaker 1: talked like this in all the boys light there. She'd
Speaker 1: be like, well, then I I mean emulating Sarah Silverman forever,
Speaker 1: like I already got the voice, and honestly I still
Speaker 1: see her and myself like I see and Megan, I
Speaker 1: um she I wouldn't be hurt. She had huge mobs,
Speaker 1: but that wasn't gonna happen for me, so I would um.
Speaker 1: She had like brace shows from quick and so like
Speaker 1: I would do like my god hard, like bubble gum
Speaker 1: in my mouth, like I would kind of go. And
Speaker 1: she just was cool, but like I picked the weirdest thing.
Speaker 1: One girl had kind of a lazier eye and she
Speaker 1: was really popular. But she was popular because she was
Speaker 1: confident and beautiful, and good was. I remember one time
Speaker 1: she in second grade that was, man, what a pivotal moment.
Speaker 1: Second grade, we were all watching uh a movie in
Speaker 1: some class. It was all the grades together, maybe this
Speaker 1: fourth grade, but we were in the second grade hallway.
Speaker 1: I don't know why we were all watching this movie.
Speaker 1: And I remember the movie ended early and they had
Speaker 1: to kill time, and so they were like, does anyone
Speaker 1: want to like show and tell or something? And in
Speaker 1: my head, I'm like, God, I would love to have something,
Speaker 1: but I don't have any talent. And I remember this
Speaker 1: girl confidently raised her hand and then sang solo without
Speaker 1: Acabella a song, and I was so jealous that she
Speaker 1: had the confidence. I just couldn't believe. And I just
Speaker 1: was like, I want that confidence. But instead I just
Speaker 1: faked a lazy eye for a little bit. I would
Speaker 1: just kind of shut one eye. I mean, that's wild
Speaker 1: that you had a sloth. It all comes back and
Speaker 1: like I thought that was going to be the thing.
Speaker 1: That's like when I drink smart water and I think
Speaker 1: it's gonna be make me more like John France. It's
Speaker 1: like that's not it. Yeah, it's just what you know.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you guys you don't understand how small
Speaker 1: Andrew was, Like, we don't do you can't comprehend it.
Speaker 1: I'll put a photo up on the on the you
Speaker 1: have to know and make sure he sends one to
Speaker 1: you because his class photo, he's so insane. You guys,
Speaker 1: what grade was that? That was probably six or six,
Speaker 1: fourth or fifth grade? You guys, he is in the
Speaker 1: front it's all girls, and uh in the front row
Speaker 1: with Andrew. He's on the side next to his teacher,
Speaker 1: and then it starts girls and then behind him are
Speaker 1: all the boys. He is probably a foot shorter than
Speaker 1: all the girls. It looked like you were, um, one
Speaker 1: of those kids that you know almost when she lies
Speaker 1: to her son about being much younger than he is. Yeah,
Speaker 1: was like, Mom, I found out I was five that day.
Speaker 1: You looked five. You looked five, and everyone else looked
Speaker 1: Did people say that to you all the time? Dude,
Speaker 1: I was the smallest, but I was cute. Oh he's
Speaker 1: so cute, and then I was you know, I didn't
Speaker 1: even know I was really Jewish though, until I went
Speaker 1: to an all Christian school. Like I knew I was Jewish,
Speaker 1: but like you didn't know it was a thing that
Speaker 1: anyone would have a problem with. I honestly think rich
Speaker 1: Christians hate Jews because Jews starts stepping on their turf.
Speaker 1: I didn't know there was anything wrong with being Jewish,
Speaker 1: either or not that there is anything, but I didn't
Speaker 1: know that it was a thing. Obviously. I thought the hall,
Speaker 1: I knew the all goods have been stuff like that.
Speaker 1: I didn't know, and they were persecuted. I didn't know
Speaker 1: it was I well, well I had. I started getting
Speaker 1: an inkling uh. In fourth grade, I was being called
Speaker 1: a bagel and I'm like, who are How did these
Speaker 1: kids have this dialect? I would just call you that
Speaker 1: because you probably had bagel crumbs like on you, but
Speaker 1: it was not because, oh no, you changed my whole life.
Speaker 1: Oh no, I would have called you bagel bite because
Speaker 1: you were a little but you just go what is that?
Speaker 1: And I'm like, what is that? And then I'd go
Speaker 1: over to my friend Scott's house and I'd look at
Speaker 1: his and his parents had like mine comp book, No
Speaker 1: they did not, and like every every edition like scratch
Speaker 1: and sniff like like like all the mind like babies
Speaker 1: first mind comp And it's like you touch it and
Speaker 1: you can feel Hitler's mustache and it's like a little
Speaker 1: there's like a little patch of And that's when I
Speaker 1: knew I had autonomy over my own brain. When I
Speaker 1: knew you could rub Hitler's mustache. And dude, it's really um.
Speaker 1: Every time you talk about the anti Semitism you endured,
Speaker 1: it's so heartbreaking. And you know, whether it's your Jewish
Speaker 1: or fat or short or something like, kids will find
Speaker 1: a way to Yeah. I was short and Jewish, so
Speaker 1: and then it was like I had to be stupid
Speaker 1: the one thing and dumb. Yeah yeah, yeah, no, shut up.
Speaker 1: And you had a speech embeddiment kind of you you
Speaker 1: were going to special classic. Okay, look I didn't even
Speaker 1: think of all these things. Well I could, and you
Speaker 1: could stop. Your brother was all right, get off, yeah,
Speaker 1: get me off the bus. I feel like I'm back
Speaker 1: on the bus. I have been friends with you. My
Speaker 1: brother would have beat up this kid one time. I
Speaker 1: ever tell you this story. It's the craziest story ever.
Speaker 1: I got beat up on the bus. Uh, not that bad,
Speaker 1: but this kid's Victor Broun Concio, and he was like
Speaker 1: the kind of like a type of throat cancer. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was bad. It was got bron Coccio. It was
Speaker 1: terminal yeah, terminal six. Yeah, it was bad. You mean
Speaker 1: stage six at the airport. It's Delta's. Yeah. You go
Speaker 1: to this, go to C fourteen. You'll see Victor brun
Speaker 1: Concio there and he kind of beat me up a
Speaker 1: little bit, and then he got off the bus and
Speaker 1: then my brother threw him down and like defended my honor.
Speaker 1: Have you ever talked about it? Yeah, Like it was
Speaker 1: a cool moment where I was like, my brother's got
Speaker 1: my back. Yeah, man, Yeah, and then he gave me
Speaker 1: a job and then that backfired and then yeah, it
Speaker 1: went out. Let's get to the news. Don't you want
Speaker 1: to hear the story? Oh no, no, So Victor brun
Speaker 1: COUNTI you ended up killing a woman and then so
Speaker 1: I got beat up by a murderer. Oh my god.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah. And then they won the lottery his family
Speaker 1: after he went to jail for he killed her. He
Speaker 1: beat her to death with a boom box and then
Speaker 1: lit her on fire and then spray painted her and
Speaker 1: then got caught red handed because he used red spray paint.
Speaker 1: Get out of here. He got the a and you
Speaker 1: know what, she probably he probably showed up with a
Speaker 1: boombox at her house and she was like, that's so romantic.
Speaker 1: It's like it's like the John Cusack movie. And then
Speaker 1: he that is honestly, I'm not making fun. That's the magic.
Speaker 1: So that they were they were in a in a
Speaker 1: in a park and he was playing rap music. Oh
Speaker 1: you did tell me this, this is horrible. Yeah, playing
Speaker 1: rap music with like n W A or something. She's like,
Speaker 1: don't play that music with curse words. And he's like, well,
Speaker 1: now you're And he just beat up this woman who
Speaker 1: was just anyhow, and you can only imagine what happened
Speaker 1: to him as a child. I'm guessing, yeah, you got
Speaker 1: beat up my brother. Yeah. It all leeds back to
Speaker 1: day and let's get to the names. Boy, that's not
Speaker 1: the most depressing story. Man. I hope you're having all
Speaker 1: the swells out there. It is Tuesday, I believe, who knows? Really? Uh?
Speaker 1: First the first stories solid one. Grammar experts say those words,
Speaker 1: these words can make you sound smarter, but most people
Speaker 1: use them the wrong way. There's twenty six of them supposedly,
Speaker 1: and they say supposedly alternatively versus all alternately alternately. I
Speaker 1: think it's alternatively is probably what did I say? What
Speaker 1: is the right one? Alternative? Okay, Alternatively refers to one
Speaker 1: or more choices or possibilities. Alternately refers to two or
Speaker 1: more things happening after each other. Oh, alternate, like they
Speaker 1: all they alternate. We we're gonna, we're gonna go um,
Speaker 1: we're gonna answer these questions and alternately, and so it's
Speaker 1: like one, the next, the next. Okay. Interesting. Definitive verse definite, definite,
Speaker 1: definitive versus definite. I mean definitive statement. I would say
Speaker 1: they're the same, but what are what's the difference? Writing
Speaker 1: definitive instead of definite, as in the cf OH has
Speaker 1: said a definitive time for the meeting is a common
Speaker 1: substitution that doesn't work at all. The writer meant to
Speaker 1: say that the CFO sent an exact definite time. Okay,
Speaker 1: So those two things are not different. But what does
Speaker 1: definitive mean? Definitive means authoritative, decisive, most reliable, So definitive.
Speaker 1: It's like the way you say something. It's like, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm sure a lot of people have so a time
Speaker 1: can't be definitive, but a person can be definitive. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: got it. Yesterday I was watching the Bachelor. This is
Speaker 1: perfect batch in paradise. I'd have been Each episode is
Speaker 1: two hours. I had to get through five episodes. I
Speaker 1: only watched one because I'm doing a will you accept
Speaker 1: this rose um? It's you do it on two point
Speaker 1: out speed because you can't on Kulu for some reason
Speaker 1: and on the TV, so I'm just reading recaps. But
Speaker 1: they they use we with this is on Fboy Island
Speaker 1: when they cut around it. These guys people so confidently
Speaker 1: used turns of phrase that uh, just this One guy goes,
Speaker 1: you know what, Thomas is probably on that date, and
Speaker 1: he's acting all cool and he's putting aside the bs.
Speaker 1: He's probably, you know, she's gonna come back here and
Speaker 1: she's gonna like him skin over her eyes. She's not
Speaker 1: gonna know. And I go, skin over her eyes? What
Speaker 1: is that? And I go that I think he meant
Speaker 1: he's going to pull the wool over her eyes. But
Speaker 1: he didn't say pull the skin over her eyes. He
Speaker 1: said skin over her eyes. So even if he said
Speaker 1: wool over her eyes, it would have been kind of incorrect,
Speaker 1: but we could have gotten there. But he said skin
Speaker 1: over her eyes, like it was just like and everyone goes, yeah, man,
Speaker 1: skin over like they were all just like yeah, And
Speaker 1: I googled it to see if I wasn't a new one.
Speaker 1: So I did skin over eyes expression. That's how you
Speaker 1: google something, because at first I go skin over her
Speaker 1: eyes and it's like nothing, skin over eyes expression, and um,
Speaker 1: it's just how to like squeeze your eyelids, like to
Speaker 1: express like a cyst in your eyelids. Like there's no,
Speaker 1: that's not a phrase. And this guy and another guy
Speaker 1: kept going, but it's he goes up, he goes up, Um,
Speaker 1: what's the word. It was like, it's all my story,
Speaker 1: but he just supposed to say just like regardless, he goes,
Speaker 1: regardless that you did this, regardless that you did this.
Speaker 1: It's regardless of the fact that you did this. It's
Speaker 1: regardless of you can't just say regardless that I would
Speaker 1: have been tricked on that one. I think, Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean a lot of these are just like you know,
Speaker 1: it's it's me being a stickler. And I realized I
Speaker 1: was being a little bit like elitist, like these people
Speaker 1: are so dumb, but like and I say dumb stuff,
Speaker 1: I said, take it for granted, I did that. And
Speaker 1: that's one where I like, I was trying to do
Speaker 1: the right one because I know there's two, and my
Speaker 1: dad always would make the joke about granite like the
Speaker 1: tabletop and then granted, and I just chose the wrong one.
Speaker 1: And it's not that I didn't know. If I would
Speaker 1: have thought, but these people don't even know, and I'm
Speaker 1: making look at the end of the day, yeah, the end. Hey,
Speaker 1: let's keep going ingenuous. I love that I can't pronounce
Speaker 1: any of these ingenuous, disingenuous, No, ingenuous, first, in genuine,
Speaker 1: I don't know ingenious. I think ingenious. No, that's okay,
Speaker 1: what did you do here? Okay? Um ingenious versus ingenious,
Speaker 1: ingenuine ingenuous versus ingenious. Ingenuous means simplicity or childlike innocence.
Speaker 1: Ingenuous I n G E n U O U S.
Speaker 1: And then ingenious I n G E n I O
Speaker 1: U S means clever or resourceful. I've never heard of ingenuous. No,
Speaker 1: I've never seen that word. But if someone did say
Speaker 1: that was ingenuous, I would be like, oh, oh yeah, no, no, no, ingenuous,
Speaker 1: that's ingenuous. I've never I didn't know that. Let me
Speaker 1: can I do the other ones? Historical and historic historical
Speaker 1: means based in history. So when he's thing that happened
Speaker 1: in the past is historical, historic means significant, famous or
Speaker 1: in So a historic landmark is also historical because it
Speaker 1: happened in the past, but a historical thing is not
Speaker 1: necessarily historic. I don't like historic because it's a little braggy.
Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, look at me, I'm a landmark that
Speaker 1: was important. It's like he just were from history. Let's
Speaker 1: not right, it's not bragg here. Sometimes I think about
Speaker 1: things in history where it's like this was Daniel Boone's
Speaker 1: boyhood home or something, and I'm like, or it was
Speaker 1: like this was the this was where Gettysburg happened. And
Speaker 1: there's first of all, the grasses and the dirt are
Speaker 1: totally different now, so like the air is different because
Speaker 1: the earth moves and there's wind. So really nothing about
Speaker 1: this place is actually the same. Do you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? When it's just like a field, I understand,
Speaker 1: like a cabin or like, uh, the chair that Abraham
Speaker 1: Lincoln was assassinated or the bed that he died in
Speaker 1: and you can see the stain, like those things are
Speaker 1: like tangible. But when it's like a field or like, um, yeah,
Speaker 1: I was in high school and we did like we
Speaker 1: we we were on the field where one of the
Speaker 1: battles of the Civil War was and we played football
Speaker 1: on it, and we were like the ghosts. We're playing
Speaker 1: where they died. I mean, it is cool to see
Speaker 1: a field and just be like, but but if you
Speaker 1: really think about it, nothing about that is the same. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean the grass is definitely nicer. The bodies are
Speaker 1: gone hopefully, Yeah, But the dirt, I would say, like
Speaker 1: we're talking, the dirt is re energized and like been
Speaker 1: you know, eroded and washed away. So the only thing
Speaker 1: that was probably the same as like the inner core
Speaker 1: of the earth, which at that point you can just
Speaker 1: say everything you're standing on is historic, okay or historical? Okay, Yeah,
Speaker 1: everything is historical. The other ones were okay, but all right.
Speaker 1: Jeff Bezos is reportedly funding Alto Slabs, a biological reprogramming
Speaker 1: tech company, for a new anti aging venture aiming to
Speaker 1: cheat death. Yeah. I mean they'll figure it out. If
Speaker 1: anyone will, he will, I wonder if so. Bezis is
Speaker 1: said to have a fairly long standing interest in longevity research,
Speaker 1: and he previously invested in an anti aging company. But
Speaker 1: you know what, when everyone looks young and like hot,
Speaker 1: I guess who's going to be like the cool people,
Speaker 1: the ones that had the ones, the ones that are
Speaker 1: like aging. The it's always what's different or what's harder
Speaker 1: to achieve is the thing that everyone desires to be.
Speaker 1: I think that's it. And let me just say, if
Speaker 1: we really think about it, old age is the hardest
Speaker 1: to achieve because you have to live. So why don't
Speaker 1: we respect wrinkles and like age spots Like that should
Speaker 1: be the mark of like you lived, like you endured,
Speaker 1: like you had. I think some cultures do. I mean
Speaker 1: the Asian culture is known for like really respecting their
Speaker 1: elders and you like, like whatever they say because they
Speaker 1: experienced it their parents forever, not because out of necessity,
Speaker 1: but because like it's your job now to like pay
Speaker 1: your respects to those Yeah, I mean, put them a home,
Speaker 1: get them away from us. Yeah, we don't want to
Speaker 1: be reminded that we're gonna die, so like let's keep
Speaker 1: it separate and death is I was reading all about it.
Speaker 1: It's just we keep it so far away from us
Speaker 1: because we're also scared of it. We don't want to
Speaker 1: be reminded of it, but it's something that you know,
Speaker 1: every other part of nature like has to see it.
Speaker 1: They don't. They don't really send it away. Well, if
Speaker 1: you could take a pill right now that will have
Speaker 1: you slow down your aging by where's it at? I
Speaker 1: try to buy those pills every day. I'm taking those pills,
Speaker 1: you know, like I buy these pills that have like
Speaker 1: new true energy x sea. How many pills are you
Speaker 1: taking to that? Man? I do um to for my
Speaker 1: hair that some hair person said to take, and I
Speaker 1: don't think it's working. My hair has been really thin
Speaker 1: this week, but I think it's because I'm on my period.
Speaker 1: I take an iron, I take a Beat twelve because
Speaker 1: I'm a vegan. I take a couple of mets from
Speaker 1: my mental health, and um, I take a what else?
Speaker 1: Uh truful I was doing for a while. Um, that's
Speaker 1: like for a day. It's a lot. But like my
Speaker 1: friends owns the company, it really works and our differences.
Speaker 1: Can you imagine two vitamin gummies? Well some days, I mean,
Speaker 1: and also I might like, let's just start crying. I
Speaker 1: never did that. I never did that joke where I
Speaker 1: was like, I have a male roommate before bed, I
Speaker 1: have to go through the nineteen step regiment and he
Speaker 1: doesn't even take nineteen steps to fall into his bed.
Speaker 1: It was something like that. It is true, like men
Speaker 1: don't do anything to their faces and we go, god,
Speaker 1: you're so hot like like that, Like I love when
Speaker 1: a guy has like those like like crow's feet, or
Speaker 1: when he starts to have like gray like in his beard,
Speaker 1: like if you're trying to do a guy that starts
Speaker 1: to look so hot. And I want to say that men,
Speaker 1: when they really are trying to a woman, they like
Speaker 1: that stuff too. They don't care if you start to age,
Speaker 1: because it's if you like a woman only because she's hot. Sorry, buddy,
Speaker 1: we're going to fall out. But to all guys, Brenna
Speaker 1: is like really big in the skincare and taking me
Speaker 1: through a facial she did like that, why she looks twelve,
Speaker 1: Well know she's but she yeah, I mean she looks twenty.
Speaker 1: She probably looks twenty two. But what does that even
Speaker 1: mean anymore when people say you look this because everyone
Speaker 1: but my point being is she'll do like five those
Speaker 1: She'll do like five steps to you know, the wash,
Speaker 1: the serum, the mask or serums after the mask, whatever,
Speaker 1: four or five steps, and I swear to God, after
Speaker 1: one treatment, I do feel like my skin looks way
Speaker 1: like literally one, I feel like I look like, oh
Speaker 1: like every guy's just one five step thing away from
Speaker 1: seeing the skin again. But it happens that quick. I
Speaker 1: feel like it takes, and women don't do it every day.
Speaker 1: I mean, my mom has. My mom has has aged
Speaker 1: really really well, and she smoked for years, drank for years,
Speaker 1: doesn't work out, loves ham dips and this bitch she loves.
Speaker 1: She loves a discount if you can put ham dips
Speaker 1: that are two days expired based on when shinooks said
Speaker 1: they shouldn't be sold. Um, but my mom uses ponds
Speaker 1: cream you know, like cless like and and barely doesn't
Speaker 1: wash your face at night, so that maybe girls are
Speaker 1: doing too many yeah, and and ever since, I made
Speaker 1: my regiment really simple, which is like I washed my
Speaker 1: face with whatever facial cleanser. Sometimes I feel like I
Speaker 1: need more of like a creamy one because my face
Speaker 1: is dry. Sometimes I feel like I need more of
Speaker 1: an acne one because my face is oily. Just any cleanser,
Speaker 1: and then I put on that ordinary um plant squalling
Speaker 1: stuff that I talked about that's eight bucks. Uh. And
Speaker 1: then I put on um either an SPF like a
Speaker 1: elia um spf uh like c C cream, and and
Speaker 1: that's that's all I wear during the day. And then
Speaker 1: instead of the c C cream at night, I just
Speaker 1: put on like a thick night cream, which can be
Speaker 1: a nutrogena um high lauronic thing. Like you just I
Speaker 1: just do three steps and it's not even washing my
Speaker 1: face takes two seconds. You're supposed to like massage gently.
Speaker 1: I'm just like raw and you're supposed to like blot
Speaker 1: dry gently with a clean towel. I used like one
Speaker 1: that I wiped my pus with because I ran a
Speaker 1: toilet paper, like I'm gross and glide over that. No,
Speaker 1: sometimes I run a toilet paper and I don't want
Speaker 1: to just let a drip drop in my pants, so
Speaker 1: I just use a towel. But I don't reuse that toe.
Speaker 1: That was an exaggeration. I really don't. I would never
Speaker 1: do that, but um what I've done it in the
Speaker 1: past when I was depressed and going through a bad
Speaker 1: time from pussy. Your pussy's ham anyway, Wait, so wait,
Speaker 1: go back waits not no, you call back? Fail keep
Speaker 1: you going. Let's do it. Here's here's a sound effect
Speaker 1: for a callback. Phil call. That's it. Hey, come on, yes,
Speaker 1: you're right. I lost but wait, wait wait what were
Speaker 1: we talking about? Oh, if guys had to take off
Speaker 1: makeup every night before bed, when we would, there just
Speaker 1: wouldn't be a makeup anymore. Yeah, you would have terrible skin.
Speaker 1: Um and you guys, yeah, I would wake up, our
Speaker 1: pillows would be done, like, we just would keep We'd
Speaker 1: figure out a way for some men are really fastidious
Speaker 1: about that kind of stuff. But no, one, do you
Speaker 1: ever sleep with your makeup on? No? Because I have
Speaker 1: large pores and it's just not worth. What will happen
Speaker 1: to me in the morning. What will happen? What happens
Speaker 1: when you well, it's dirt. Makeup is dirt, and like
Speaker 1: it's it's it's just it's not and it's like chemicals
Speaker 1: and it's it's not good already to put on your skin,
Speaker 1: and through the night it just rubs into your pores
Speaker 1: more and like just creates bacteria and then zits and dryness.
Speaker 1: Does your mom wear a lot of makeup? Yeah? I
Speaker 1: mean you know, actually she doesn't work. Maybe that's maybe
Speaker 1: we're doing all these five steps because we're wearing so
Speaker 1: much makeup. Yeah, I mean, my mom doesn't wear makeup,
Speaker 1: and that always boggles my mind because it it looks
Speaker 1: so good. She can look so much better with a
Speaker 1: little bit of makeup, and she's a beautiful woman, but
Speaker 1: she can look really sing through old pictures of my phone.
Speaker 1: The other day, I was showing Andrew, like all these
Speaker 1: pictures I took from photo albums, and one he was like, Wow,
Speaker 1: your mom's gorgeous. Another one he'd be like, whoa, your
Speaker 1: mom's pretty. They were all pictures where she had her
Speaker 1: makeup done, all of them like back in the eighties.
Speaker 1: And I knew that, but like and then you'd be like,
Speaker 1: is that your mom? And it was like a picture
Speaker 1: with her without makeup, she looked beautiful. But people, guys
Speaker 1: can't say that makeup doesn't trick you. And I know
Speaker 1: that lots of makeup sometimes is too much, but yeah,
Speaker 1: you guys like it, and you guys would look better
Speaker 1: with it. God a Meal's eyelashes last week. I was like,
Speaker 1: I was getting my makeup done and I was just like,
Speaker 1: A Meal, can I please please put mascre on those sweet,
Speaker 1: luscious lashes? And he goes you've done it before, and
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I was gonna say, we've been
Speaker 1: friends too long for me to let those eyelashes just
Speaker 1: go without repainting them. Because some boys, you're just like
Speaker 1: boys that look like girls. Like that's when it works,
Speaker 1: like a rocker. A rocker can do eyeliner. If I
Speaker 1: do eyeliner, I just look like a truck driver that
Speaker 1: fell in mud on his eyes. It doesn't work. Sometimes
Speaker 1: you say the funniest like I'm really envious of your
Speaker 1: ability to pull a thing that that fell out in
Speaker 1: mud is so funny, and like I would have to
Speaker 1: think all afternoon to write something like that where you
Speaker 1: don't give yourself credit with those things really bad on
Speaker 1: like those kind of like weird outside quick. But I'm
Speaker 1: thinking about it before I'm saying I don't I know
Speaker 1: what I'm going to say before the end of the sentence.
Speaker 1: Most of the time, sometimes I get ucky, but a
Speaker 1: lot of times I just can't. You'll hear it on
Speaker 1: the podcast. I just I'm not good in that moment
Speaker 1: because I start, I get to the part where I go, man,
Speaker 1: if I wore makeup, I look like a And then
Speaker 1: I when I say i'd look like in that moment,
Speaker 1: I'm thinking, Nikki, you never can come up with a
Speaker 1: good one here, and I start freaking out because I
Speaker 1: tell myself you can never. You're not as funny as
Speaker 1: you think you are. You're not Colin Mockery or Wayne Brady.
Speaker 1: You don't do improv. And then that thinking makes me
Speaker 1: panic and then I can't and then I just go
Speaker 1: NICKI just pull anything literally anywhere. Sometimes there's sometimes you know,
Speaker 1: I remember John Mulaney had a bit about drag queens
Speaker 1: and how they're like the worst version of a woman,
Speaker 1: and he's like, your version of a woman is like
Speaker 1: a bit. He's like it is mean and bullying. You know,
Speaker 1: your version of woman is a lot like a man.
Speaker 1: Because he'd be like, my name is Strawberry alarm clock,
Speaker 1: and like for me to come up with Strawberry alarm clock,
Speaker 1: like I couldn't do that. Like I would be like,
Speaker 1: I'm like, right now, I have any word at my
Speaker 1: but you could do blueberry uh whatever, right exactly, Well,
Speaker 1: we just learned that that was the trick. Let's go
Speaker 1: to break so I can come up with a joke
Speaker 1: and then we'll get back to why do I think
Speaker 1: it's not being afraid, like me saying ham drip, terrible joke,
Speaker 1: not being afraid of I'm scared. I'm too scared of bombing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: um yeah, and I'm working on that. But that was
Speaker 1: an interesting no fear fear. Let's take a quick break
Speaker 1: and then we'll get back with um, why do I care? Okay,
Speaker 1: why do I care? Why do you care? I don't
Speaker 1: know anymore? Why do I care? Megan Fox and massage
Speaker 1: gun Kelly, Oh my god, Massage and Kelly. You sent
Speaker 1: me a meme of his face on one of those
Speaker 1: thera guns. But by the way, a lot of these
Speaker 1: things I send you are through like Nicky Glazier, like
Speaker 1: like people sending them to us, like the video this morning.
Speaker 1: Just come across that someone goes this reminds me of
Speaker 1: Nikki and Andrews. Well, thank you so much to our
Speaker 1: fancy who alert us to things that we would enjoy
Speaker 1: like that because we miss a lot of them. Um,
Speaker 1: Massage and Kelly was hilarious. I I can I get
Speaker 1: the story? Can I take it? Because I actually yeah? So,
Speaker 1: Y'll sterday on Comments by Celebs, which is an account
Speaker 1: I follow where they kind of document they're really like
Speaker 1: a loving celebrity gossip site that doesn't really get caddy
Speaker 1: a lot of times. Yes, they like to speculate in gossip,
Speaker 1: but it's not like Dema, which dem is just all people.
Speaker 1: They're all blind items, which is like someone who's not
Speaker 1: being accountable, not being like, Hi, my name is Mary
Speaker 1: Stevenson from you know, Baxter, Minnesota, and I witnessed Channing
Speaker 1: Tatum and Zoe Kravitz on a bike ride because I
Speaker 1: was following them, Like, it's all people that are like
Speaker 1: I was at dinner the other there was one the
Speaker 1: other night that was like or the other like two Sundays.
Speaker 1: They go every Sunday on their Instagram story, they do
Speaker 1: like a drop of like all these people d M
Speaker 1: N Duma and the all people that just witnessed celebrities
Speaker 1: in the wild or or personal friends of celebrities ratting
Speaker 1: them out. But it's all anonymous, so it's just kind
Speaker 1: of like is it true, but you just assume it
Speaker 1: is because it's so detailed. Sometimes one had a picture
Speaker 1: of Courtey Kardashian. A lot of them come with pictures
Speaker 1: that were like I was at the nail salon and
Speaker 1: I saw court dash in and she seemed happy and
Speaker 1: she was with Penelope. But the and it said, um
Speaker 1: she was texting someone about and a party tomorrow. It
Speaker 1: was like this girl read her scream or it was
Speaker 1: like her listening to a call and I was like, wait,
Speaker 1: so when they do they have to write into due
Speaker 1: or yeah, they submitted via d M S or she
Speaker 1: has like a submission site and um or a website
Speaker 1: where you can anna kind of smart. It's like Wikipedia
Speaker 1: for like celebrity like they don't have to pay anyone.
Speaker 1: I'm sure a lot of people have tried to start
Speaker 1: these before, but this one it takes a while to
Speaker 1: get people like. It has over a million followers now
Speaker 1: and it was a slow build, but I love it.
Speaker 1: It's just so and then on the sub read it
Speaker 1: for dem wat. It's all these celebrity people that love celebrities,
Speaker 1: and I'm one of them. By the way, I just
Speaker 1: want to say, I'm I'm you. I'm obsessed with celebrity culture.
Speaker 1: I have strong opinions about people I know nothing about,
Speaker 1: truly nothing about. These people don't even have podcasts like
Speaker 1: I do where they tell you a lot. They have
Speaker 1: reality shows maybe, but those reality shows are you can't
Speaker 1: take those seriously and and really think that that's the
Speaker 1: real them um and even my podcast, you can't. You
Speaker 1: have to have some sort of like you have to
Speaker 1: realize you don't know everything about me, even though it
Speaker 1: seems like sometimes I give it all away, but I
Speaker 1: I'm one of you. If if I'm talking to one
Speaker 1: of you, these people in the dim Wa subrubbit read it,
Speaker 1: sometimes it will be like what celebrity do you hate
Speaker 1: more than any celebrity? What one that can you not
Speaker 1: watch in anything? And I just read these comments and
Speaker 1: they're like, I just hate Ryan Reynolds. I hate And
Speaker 1: I'm just like these who are these people that have
Speaker 1: such hatred? I understanding hating Chris Brown for what he
Speaker 1: did to Rihanna based on actual police reports. I understand
Speaker 1: hating um, you know, Woody Allen based on what Ronan
Speaker 1: Pharaoh has uncovered and said Dylan Farrow said he had
Speaker 1: done to her, and so like I understand that, But
Speaker 1: like hating someone because you just I just think she
Speaker 1: thinks she's cool. I've never liked Jennifer Lawrence in anything
Speaker 1: because I just think she always looks like twelve when
Speaker 1: she's trying to be eight. And it's just like, and
Speaker 1: these people have such disdain and for me, it's so
Speaker 1: transparent that they hate themselves and they're jealous and they
Speaker 1: would do anything to be these people. And then yesterday
Speaker 1: on um comments by Celebs, I saw an agregious example
Speaker 1: of this. UM Comments by Celebs posted a picture that
Speaker 1: um machine gun Kelly I guess had posted. Is that correct? No?
Speaker 1: Um okay? Megan Fox posting on table um yeah, Megan
Speaker 1: Fox posted uh yeah a picture of her machine gun
Speaker 1: Kelly or her standing in front of a table in
Speaker 1: an Airbnb. She said, when I tell you that this
Speaker 1: table at the table at this air and b Airbnb
Speaker 1: saw some things and then a sweating like like red
Speaker 1: face sweating emoji, and then machine gun Kelly commented, I'm
Speaker 1: really glad that's not our table anymore, only to assume
Speaker 1: that they did amazingly sexual, filthy things on the table.
Speaker 1: I love it. Or they just like cooked a like
Speaker 1: tuna or something gross, eggs, salad hand, maybe they're maybe
Speaker 1: my mom a dip callback bomb. And then um, so
Speaker 1: all these people in the comments are like, they know
Speaker 1: they can just text this stuff to each other, right
Speaker 1: when your relationship has no depth, so you have to
Speaker 1: compensate on social media. Imagine being the Airbnb owner and
Speaker 1: coming across this that one was good. Some things should
Speaker 1: just stay private for a reason. Cringe, so Edgy, I
Speaker 1: just hope no one took a dump on anyone on
Speaker 1: that table. Um. And then it's like, this is too much, y'all.
Speaker 1: His daughter is on the Graham. Dear God, please deliver
Speaker 1: us from Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly once and
Speaker 1: for all. So all these people are just like you
Speaker 1: too much, So I wrote, I think I'm the only
Speaker 1: one who liked this. I think it's hot when couples
Speaker 1: flirt publicly in comments, but maybe that's just me. And
Speaker 1: that's true, especially these two. They're hot. I like to
Speaker 1: hear about sexual escapades that they're having. And yes, I said,
Speaker 1: and yes, they could have texted this to each other
Speaker 1: and kept it private. But aren't details about celebs private
Speaker 1: lives what we crave as a celeb obsessed culture in
Speaker 1: the first place. It's funny that when when they offer
Speaker 1: it to us like this, we're like, no, gross t M.
Speaker 1: I we wanted this info, but we would have preferred
Speaker 1: to get it without your consent via dum wa after
Speaker 1: you were seated next to someone at a restaurant who
Speaker 1: eaves dropped on your private convo. And I don't even
Speaker 1: read the comments that got so comments by celebs. They're
Speaker 1: fans of mine, and so they pinned it because it's
Speaker 1: a good fucking point and they actually support being celebratory
Speaker 1: of celebrities, not mean, and they pinned the comment. So
Speaker 1: it has like four thousand and something likes, and I'm
Speaker 1: so glad it does because there's no arguing that, Like,
Speaker 1: I don't even want to read the comments, there's no
Speaker 1: arguing that these people that follow comments by celebs love celebrities,
Speaker 1: love Seleb Goss. That's what we buy us weekly for
Speaker 1: stuff that we're not allowed to know. But when they
Speaker 1: give it to us, we go we don't want it,
Speaker 1: we want it in a way that makes that is
Speaker 1: intruding into your life, my own, my own, my own
Speaker 1: encountered at is how many likes did Megan Foxes post get?
Speaker 1: Like they get enough love where it should drown out
Speaker 1: the hatred. I know, but this is I'm just saying,
Speaker 1: these are this account is has culminated in not Megan
Speaker 1: fox fans. These are celebrity fans, fans of celeb culture
Speaker 1: and so for so many people on this to hate
Speaker 1: on them. And by the way, if this was a
Speaker 1: gay couple, like two gay guys, everyone would be like,
Speaker 1: that's so saucy, like they are so jealous of these two,
Speaker 1: as am I so jealous of machine Gun Kelly and
Speaker 1: Megan Foxes passionate relationship that will burn out eventually. Women
Speaker 1: could get mad at like other women that who had
Speaker 1: kids got divorced and then are like living their best life.
Speaker 1: They're like, but I'm stuck with my four kids, still
Speaker 1: making pancakes every morning. I want to I want to
Speaker 1: machine gun cut Like I think there's you're someone who
Speaker 1: comments on celebrities in a negative way, You're just so sad.
Speaker 1: And I used to do it too, and I you know,
Speaker 1: I still talk about people behind their backs, like with
Speaker 1: my friends, like celebrities and be like, oh, I hated
Speaker 1: what you want to look at this post from Blah blah,
Speaker 1: like we all made fun of Britney Spears until it
Speaker 1: was a mental health issue. Well, there's something to you
Speaker 1: commenting on commenters that is in the Saint there. It's
Speaker 1: not in the but I don't want to read it.
Speaker 1: I know that I got so many so much hate
Speaker 1: in there because I was calling these women out. They're
Speaker 1: all women. I mean, there's some gay men in there too,
Speaker 1: but it's mostly women and um and I know that
Speaker 1: they hated because people don't like when you hold up
Speaker 1: a mirror and it's inarguable that you see that. Hamdrop.
Speaker 1: Let's get to Reddit dump karaoke Moon, this is your
Speaker 1: redit dump. Here we go. This one was so fun.
Speaker 1: It's from the reddit. Um so bread it made me smile.
Speaker 1: Did you see this? It was a TikTok It went
Speaker 1: around so much. It was this mom that said, tried
Speaker 1: to embarrass my child. Total fail. So it's a mom
Speaker 1: who pulls up to uh pick up our kid from
Speaker 1: like soccer parties. This guy looks to be about in
Speaker 1: sixth grade and he's all of his guy friends are
Speaker 1: standing like in the shade by the tree after soccer
Speaker 1: practice or whatever. She pulls up. She has her windows
Speaker 1: down and she's blasting I'm a Barbie girl in a
Speaker 1: and the kid comes over and he starts dancing to it,
Speaker 1: kind of like trying to get his friend's attention. Like yeah,
Speaker 1: he's not even like trying to he's just like enjoying it.
Speaker 1: And then what happens in the background is so funny.
Speaker 1: All of the kids just start like it's almost like
Speaker 1: they're trance to dance. They're not even trying to dance
Speaker 1: to be weird, They're just enjoying the song. That Not
Speaker 1: only were they not I could say they were conceived
Speaker 1: to the song, but their parents aren't even old enough
Speaker 1: to know this song. I mean, I'm a Barbie Girl
Speaker 1: was a hit in I want to say, and these
Speaker 1: kids parents are like younger than me. But look at this, Andrew,
Speaker 1: watch this and enjoy it. So just press replay and
Speaker 1: we'll we'll post this on our Instagram story by the
Speaker 1: time this So the kid opens the door, look at
Speaker 1: all the kids in the background, like a love that
Speaker 1: that kid is probably cool too to begin with. I
Speaker 1: bet yes, yes, let's be honest, like this mother was
Speaker 1: not trying to further bully her son who's coming home crying,
Speaker 1: being like I don't have any friends. When my brother
Speaker 1: tried to get me with sour cream, saying it was
Speaker 1: ice cream, and then I ate the sour cream glass
Speaker 1: for seconds and showed him. I was like, this is
Speaker 1: the best ice cream I've ever had. Sour cream Anyway,
Speaker 1: that's so funny at backfires. And by the way, parents
Speaker 1: trying to embarrass your kids, what are you doing? Why
Speaker 1: would you try to make the childhood experien of being
Speaker 1: just feeling like just such a loser constantly and out
Speaker 1: of place. It's about their attention grow up. And I
Speaker 1: was thinking about even the Jimmy Kimmel challenge that was like,
Speaker 1: tell your kids that you ate all their Halloween candy?
Speaker 1: Have you seen that there's so much trauma from Jimmy
Speaker 1: Kimmel based on these four year olds even for thirty
Speaker 1: seconds thinking their parents ate all the candy. The level
Speaker 1: of like these kids just go what what? And they
Speaker 1: cry and even when the parents like, I'm just kidding,
Speaker 1: it's the damage is done fired and is And honestly,
Speaker 1: I think that the Santa thing sucked me up so
Speaker 1: bad in terms of trust with my parents that um,
Speaker 1: it just led to never trusting them again about anything
Speaker 1: because I I once I knew he wasn't real from
Speaker 1: friends at school and confronted my dad. I'll never forget
Speaker 1: being like Dad, Lauren wasn't even in the room because
Speaker 1: I wanted it to be like just between us and
Speaker 1: I'd be like I even said, I'll keep the gimmick
Speaker 1: going for her. I need to know is Santa real?
Speaker 1: And his foot was shaking so violently it looked exactly
Speaker 1: my foot because we had the same feet. His bunyan
Speaker 1: was just the Richter scale. It was a six point seven.
Speaker 1: And I looked at his foot and I remember his
Speaker 1: dumb tiva and I remember being like and he kind
Speaker 1: of smiled like and and he paused, and he just goes,
Speaker 1: He's real, and I was just like, WHOA you're lying
Speaker 1: to I knew he was lying because I knew Santa
Speaker 1: wasn't real because everyone at school and told me whee,
Speaker 1: but they would no, because that's for me and my dad.
Speaker 1: My dad would never face that was someone else that
Speaker 1: would be cheating on my dad. Santa. I saw Nikki
Speaker 1: getting bounced on sands knee. Underneath that song is about
Speaker 1: a kid witnessing his mom cheating on his dad with
Speaker 1: a mystical man who delivers presents. Next, not even a
Speaker 1: callback mom. The next subret is asked credit one of
Speaker 1: my favorites. Guys, I'm not even getting you. If you
Speaker 1: can't sleep and go on go on Reddit and just
Speaker 1: go to ask Reddit and read people's responses to these
Speaker 1: interesting questions. My favorite subrettit is asked credit. They said,
Speaker 1: tattoo artists have Reddit. What is the most fucked up
Speaker 1: thing you've ever tattooed? Um? This one said, I knew
Speaker 1: a guy who lost some bet with another group of
Speaker 1: friends and he had to get a tattoo of scratch
Speaker 1: from ice age on his inner thigh reaching for his nuts.
Speaker 1: I mean that's hilarious this one, Um, what were you
Speaker 1: gonna saying? No, no, no, no, yeah, I just I mean,
Speaker 1: that's on you forever. One kid got a steaming toilet
Speaker 1: ball on his ass in college. That was pretty funny.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, a steaming toilet Why just he thought it
Speaker 1: was funny. It doesn't make any sense. My friend, my
Speaker 1: friend got your name tattooed on his ass and senior year,
Speaker 1: which was you know, I have your name tattooed on
Speaker 1: my ass and people go, no, your name and it's
Speaker 1: late a few times a bit, maybe, yeah, one guy said.
Speaker 1: One one girl was an aspiring porn star. Um, and
Speaker 1: my friend tattooed her butt hole to make it more appealing,
Speaker 1: more appealing pink color. Oh all right? Um? He A
Speaker 1: guy wanted the thumbs up with modio on his taint.
Speaker 1: Apparently he wanted everyone down there to know he appreciates
Speaker 1: a job well done. He's hairless, he could just say
Speaker 1: good job, you know, and a woman you're so like. Also,
Speaker 1: you don't see a man's taint when you're blowing him,
Speaker 1: so it would be better if it was like above
Speaker 1: his dick, who has a hairless taint. Yeah, um uh
Speaker 1: there's one. This one was I saw some weird This
Speaker 1: is interesting. This guy soft weird tattoos because he worked
Speaker 1: as a like e M t like in a hospital
Speaker 1: where they cut off people's clothing, you know. Last second,
Speaker 1: saw a guy with a genie coming out of his
Speaker 1: butt hole up to the small of his back, peeking
Speaker 1: out over his seat of his pants I imagine. Saw
Speaker 1: another guys, sweet looking grandfatherly type, had what looked like
Speaker 1: a home like a home down slash prison tattoo on
Speaker 1: his penis that said suck it. Um. Saw a woman
Speaker 1: with the rolling stones lips tongue thing inside of her armpit.
Speaker 1: Must have hurt like hell. And then saw a guy
Speaker 1: with an eight ball on his dickhead. He said it
Speaker 1: was a thing from his days in the Marines. Apparently
Speaker 1: there's a tattoo place near Camp le June. That will
Speaker 1: give you free tattoos for life if you can get
Speaker 1: an eight ball on your dickhead. Oh, so like you
Speaker 1: get that and then the idea like this guy doesn't
Speaker 1: have any other tattoos. He's just like, no, I'm just
Speaker 1: eating for the eight ball on my dicky so I
Speaker 1: can get a bles on my dick forever. How did
Speaker 1: guy get a tattoo? This one is a tattoo artist.
Speaker 1: Howd a guy getting a tattoo of his wife fingering
Speaker 1: her own ass while she sat and watched me tattoo
Speaker 1: it on him. Interesting experience trying to get the shading
Speaker 1: on her laby it just right while she was peering
Speaker 1: over my shoulder. Uh noah, we have one minute left?
Speaker 1: Is that what I'm guessing? Okay? Um oh this one
Speaker 1: was great? Uh this aid dating. This is from the
Speaker 1: subreddit Dating Advice Dating Underscore Advice Males in a relationship.
Speaker 1: Why do you guys follow slash like Instagram models when
Speaker 1: you're in a relationship? Generally curious why some males do this?
Speaker 1: Someone said, I don't do it when I'm single, so
Speaker 1: I wouldn't in a relationship. Okay, that's not interesting. Cool?
Speaker 1: We get it, you're such a good guy. Um, this
Speaker 1: one girl. This is from a girl high new perspective.
Speaker 1: I'm not an Instagram model, but I am a minor
Speaker 1: fitness influencer, so I've got a larger the most following.
Speaker 1: The number of messages I get from men in relationships
Speaker 1: is astounding for me personally. It's good to have followers
Speaker 1: and people that engage slash, follow my content or buy
Speaker 1: my workout plans. However, if you've got a man, for instance,
Speaker 1: and he doesn't work out and I'm not his personal trainer,
Speaker 1: why is he liking following messaging. I think it's reasonable
Speaker 1: if your man is into fitness, but blah blah. So
Speaker 1: then another person said, we haven't still gotten any guy.
Speaker 1: I found a good guy whom I wanted to start
Speaker 1: a relationship with, but unfortunately ended up crossing him off
Speaker 1: the list because of this. He literally followed over a
Speaker 1: thousand model accounts on i G and a couple accounts
Speaker 1: would have been cool, but that guy's number was way
Speaker 1: too much for me. Um. Someone said, I stopped it
Speaker 1: as soon as I got into a relationship because I
Speaker 1: felt like looking at other women and getting off to
Speaker 1: that whilst being in a relationship felt like cheating, and
Speaker 1: my girlfriend thinks like that too, So it depends on
Speaker 1: each person. Let's go into final thought on this one,
Speaker 1: because I have a lot of thoughts. Yeah, I just
Speaker 1: think it's funny that the guy that follows a thousand,
Speaker 1: he's like, it was over four years. That's one girl,
Speaker 1: but it's like one girl, it's one follow every few days,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, like him like like trying
Speaker 1: to be like and what is porn? That's just curated porn,
Speaker 1: like if you get off to women that aren't. I mean,
Speaker 1: Instagram also has it, so they're not explicit images. So
Speaker 1: what's the difference between a guy curating the kind of
Speaker 1: like women he looks likes to look at that are
Speaker 1: not doing explicit things and having that to jerk off
Speaker 1: too when you're not around, because it feels more personal
Speaker 1: then because because you could d M them, they could
Speaker 1: follow you back. There's just Instagram feels out of all
Speaker 1: the social media's too, it's like the one that feels
Speaker 1: more of a human connection. I feel. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'm so turned on by the idea. If I found
Speaker 1: out a guy a date was dating was following a
Speaker 1: bunch of accounts, like I would look like you know,
Speaker 1: I will just be like wait, can we look at
Speaker 1: it together and you like tell me what you're into,
Speaker 1: and like, I don't know, it would just like horn
Speaker 1: me up. I think anything before I think after you
Speaker 1: have made it official could be. I'm just saying though,
Speaker 1: like I think that's when a woman would draw the line.
Speaker 1: I just I think this is another case of like
Speaker 1: do you like especially when the guy was like she
Speaker 1: would consider it cheating why, because do you really what
Speaker 1: do you want him to set up a fake account
Speaker 1: of all? Because when you're hiding stuff, I just think
Speaker 1: that like I don't know, I don't want my man
Speaker 1: to be closed off to thinking women are attractive. I'm
Speaker 1: sorry if you're also like a fitness model and you're
Speaker 1: like pretty much showing your ham drip, yeah, like that's
Speaker 1: what you can't You can't be like I want this
Speaker 1: ten percent of like horny men. It's like, yeah, you're
Speaker 1: profiting from like let's not like your ham drops out.
Speaker 1: If it was a thousand accounts, I'd be like, this
Speaker 1: is kind of weird. But if a guy just had
Speaker 1: an account where like all his whole feed was just
Speaker 1: women he thought were hot and like stuff that he
Speaker 1: liked to look out when he was about to jerk off,
Speaker 1: and and and by the way, I feel like if
Speaker 1: I'm in a relationship that I'm getting the sex I want,
Speaker 1: a guy's not really going to have much time to
Speaker 1: jerk off. And even if let's say our relationship kind
Speaker 1: of enters a sexual slump and he starts masturbating again,
Speaker 1: I don't want him to. Just if he could only
Speaker 1: think about times we've been together, or like I only
Speaker 1: use pictures I've sent them, that would be like I
Speaker 1: would feel like sad for him because I wouldn't want
Speaker 1: that as a woman. Yeah, you don't want him jerking
Speaker 1: off like a scared deer either. Where It's like like
Speaker 1: my mom when she like she wouldn't be allowed to
Speaker 1: smoke cigarettes in front of us, so she'd have to
Speaker 1: like hide the cigarette or smoke. You don't want your
Speaker 1: guy having to like hide in underneath a carpet to
Speaker 1: jerk off with fear of being found. That's the thing
Speaker 1: that I've been like, No, I've been reading the book
Speaker 1: The Answers from the pat Alan, the woman who wrote
Speaker 1: the Getting Too I Do book about relationships and masculine
Speaker 1: and Feminine Energy has this other book that's kind of
Speaker 1: consolidated all of her like biggest like messages, and I
Speaker 1: sped through it because there's so much good stuff. Um
Speaker 1: and the thing that I really got from it that
Speaker 1: I am probably going to reference a million times the
Speaker 1: rest of my life and on this podcast, is you
Speaker 1: have three options when you're faced with a behavior in
Speaker 1: a relationship that you're not okay with. And I'm not
Speaker 1: telling people out there to be okay with your guy
Speaker 1: liking Instagram models if that doesn't feel good to you, Like,
Speaker 1: you're allowed to have that not feel good to you,
Speaker 1: and you're entitled to that feeling because you can't even
Speaker 1: help that feeling, and you don't need to get over it.
Speaker 1: But what you do need to do is accept it
Speaker 1: reject it. And those are your only two options. You
Speaker 1: do have a third, And what's the third, Noah, don't
Speaker 1: tolerate it. It's accept tolerate. There's accepting, rejecting and tolerating. No.
Speaker 1: Tolerating is in between those two. So let's say, for instance,
Speaker 1: we're dating and you have I find that you're following
Speaker 1: a lot of Instagram thoughts, and I go and I
Speaker 1: don't like it. It doesn't make me feel safe. I
Speaker 1: would say to you, Andrew, I know that, um you
Speaker 1: probably don't follow these accounts with any attention of cheating
Speaker 1: on me, and it's probably just something you would use
Speaker 1: to jerk off before we were together and now we're together,
Speaker 1: and it doesn't make me feel safe because I've been
Speaker 1: a cheated on in the past. Black. These are my feelings.
Speaker 1: I just don't feel like you should have that. And
Speaker 1: if you say I really like those accounts and um
Speaker 1: I and you you still want to look at them,
Speaker 1: you either have to decide to accept my stance reject it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we both, we both, but let's start with you. You
Speaker 1: either have to accept what I've said, which is okay.
Speaker 1: I'll stop following them because um I, no, no, no, sorry, yes,
Speaker 1: Accepting would be I accept that Nikki has feelings about
Speaker 1: this that don't match mine, but I accept her for
Speaker 1: the thing that is different. I think she's wrong because
Speaker 1: she is. It's not a threat to our relationship. I
Speaker 1: know it is it. Even though she's wrong, I accept
Speaker 1: that she's wrong, and I will I will totally honor
Speaker 1: that and I will stop following those accounts. And I'm
Speaker 1: not going to sneak around about it, because that's tolerating.
Speaker 1: Tolerating would be okay, I'm going to tolerate this her
Speaker 1: aggression and pacify her and then do what I want anyway.
Speaker 1: And also even if you don't do what you in
Speaker 1: the name way, if you have resentments of like I
Speaker 1: really want to keep following those but she's doing, that's
Speaker 1: tolerating when a lot of times you and I get
Speaker 1: into arguments and I tolerate your behavior, whether that rather
Speaker 1: than accept you for what you do and don't do
Speaker 1: or reject it, which is okay if you continue, well, um,
Speaker 1: rejecting you were rejecting me in this this made up
Speaker 1: scenario would be I like following those accounts and I'm
Speaker 1: not going to stop. And so I don't think we
Speaker 1: can work because that's something that you know, I don't
Speaker 1: see myself being able to not do, and it's part
Speaker 1: of who I am. I'm attracted other women. I think
Speaker 1: it's a uh micro uh. This is like a small
Speaker 1: indication of things down the road that will come of jealousy,
Speaker 1: and I don't like that. So I think we should
Speaker 1: call it quits. But then I can either accept you
Speaker 1: and say okay, I accept that you like watching these
Speaker 1: Instagram models. I have to really accept it and do
Speaker 1: the work on it. I mean, this isn't just like
Speaker 1: snap your fingers, Okay, I'm fine with it. It will
Speaker 1: start out as tolerating, but you need to do work
Speaker 1: of Like if I want to be with this person,
Speaker 1: I have to accept them fully and not try to
Speaker 1: change them or tolerate it. Because Toller, I realized, I
Speaker 1: thought tolerating and accepting we're the same thing. Until I
Speaker 1: read this, I thought, but that's the difference. Like so
Speaker 1: much of our arguments have been you tolerating me and
Speaker 1: being like, yeah, I see what your point, Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll change or me going yeah, you're right, Okay, I
Speaker 1: am like, you're right, I'm gonna keeping annoying. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be keep being annoyed by him, but I'm gonna keep
Speaker 1: it quiet instead of actually when I'm annoyed by him,
Speaker 1: thinking to my doing the work and going, Nikki, do
Speaker 1: you accept him or reject him? Either move out or
Speaker 1: learn to live with him? But you cannot be what
Speaker 1: it's in between. It will lead to the rejection, and
Speaker 1: will lead to a rejection that does not is not
Speaker 1: a rejection with love. Now this is this is about
Speaker 1: rejecting with love or accepting with love? I love. Wait
Speaker 1: are we doing a real life scenario? Are we still doing? No?
Speaker 1: I mean we like I I realized they can work
Speaker 1: in any it's getting blended and I my my my
Speaker 1: example at the beginning. But I just if this is
Speaker 1: like interesting to you at all? I really the book
Speaker 1: is to nine on Apple Books. It's The Answers and
Speaker 1: it's like it's written by another woman, but it's all
Speaker 1: of Dr Pat Allan's like kind of quips. And I
Speaker 1: talked to front. My friend was visiting some family recently,
Speaker 1: and she was feeling really anxious about um, a person
Speaker 1: or family that makes like kind of bullies are kind
Speaker 1: of like does a person or family is like me,
Speaker 1: no it all? I have the final say, I've done
Speaker 1: the research. I'm telling you like it is, this is
Speaker 1: a thing that you do that behavior because I know it.
Speaker 1: And she disagrees a lot of times, but she's so
Speaker 1: scared of this person of talking back to this person
Speaker 1: and standing up for herself that she just shuts down
Speaker 1: and goes like, Okay, well maybe we'll just talk about
Speaker 1: it later. And then resentment builds and this person. I realized.
Speaker 1: I go, because I'm like this person you're talking about,
Speaker 1: I know that when you just shut down and like
Speaker 1: get quiet and don't stand up for yourself, it makes
Speaker 1: me fucking furious because the other day my sister literally goes,
Speaker 1: you're a know it all. She was like, why does
Speaker 1: everything you say you sound like you're it's it's not
Speaker 1: even like a suggestion, it's like it's the final word.
Speaker 1: Because I was talking about God and I was like,
Speaker 1: I know there's a God now and I've let God
Speaker 1: into my heart and I know that's hard for the
Speaker 1: family to recognize, but like, I know there's a God.
Speaker 1: And my sister goes, you're such a know it all,
Speaker 1: like maybe there isn't a God, like do you And
Speaker 1: I go, I'll entertain the idea that I could be wrong,
Speaker 1: but I know that I'm right, and I actually thank
Speaker 1: you for standing up for me. I go, Lauren, thank you,
Speaker 1: because I needed to hear that I was being a
Speaker 1: know it all. My tone was not appreciated, so I
Speaker 1: told my friend, I go. I told her this example
Speaker 1: where I if you would have asked me before the
Speaker 1: conversation with Lauren, I would have been like, I don't
Speaker 1: want her to confront me and Sam and know it
Speaker 1: all that really hurt to hear in the moment. It
Speaker 1: hurts here and you know it all in your tone
Speaker 1: isn't good. And I was just like but instead I
Speaker 1: was like, Wow, my sister stood up for herself. The
Speaker 1: reason I get a bullying attitude, and I'm not justifying it,
Speaker 1: but sometimes the reason I go so hard is because
Speaker 1: I'm trying to get the person to to to stand
Speaker 1: up to me, to like tell me to because I
Speaker 1: don't want I don't want people in my life being
Speaker 1: doormats and so someone as they treat them like them
Speaker 1: to a point where they'll bust and like yell at
Speaker 1: me like you've done sometimes And then all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, you're right, Like I just want behavior
Speaker 1: of like wanting to keep because well it's it's it's
Speaker 1: definitely character flaw of mind that either people have to
Speaker 1: accept or reject, and I have to work on myself
Speaker 1: of not. It made that moment where she stood up
Speaker 1: to me made me change my tone of how I
Speaker 1: approach things like so as hard as it is, and
Speaker 1: I've done this with people too that I'm scared of approaching,
Speaker 1: because your biggest fear when you we Gotta go are
Speaker 1: Your biggest fear when you confront someone about something you're
Speaker 1: scared about, is that they're going to go, well, fuck you,
Speaker 1: we're done. And let me just say that doesn't happen.
Speaker 1: It doesn't happen when you stand up and say, I
Speaker 1: don't feel good about how you're talking to me in
Speaker 1: your tone, and I'm gonna just walk away from this
Speaker 1: conversation until you decide to speak to me in a
Speaker 1: better tone. The amount like, it's the scariest thing to do.
Speaker 1: I swear, because usually you just go, yeah, you're right,
Speaker 1: okay always uh uh yeah, I see your point in
Speaker 1: you cower. Those people need to be stood up to
Speaker 1: and not stood up to, but they need to see
Speaker 1: you respect yourself enough to get away from them, and
Speaker 1: then they learn that they're toxic. I learned I'm toxic,
Speaker 1: so uh yeah, just looking stand up for yourself, Andrew,
Speaker 1: we gotta go. You really have to go on so sorry,
Speaker 1: So like life is like a ham drip. Guys, thank
Speaker 1: you so much for listening to the podcast. As always,
Speaker 1: we love you so much. Nikki Glazer Pod. Follow us
Speaker 1: on Instagram, rate and review on whatever podcasts after you
Speaker 1: use and uh noah, thank you and we'll see you tomorrow.
Speaker 1: Don't be kid, and we leave it