1 00:00:10,160 --> 00:00:13,680 Speaker 1: Hi guys, and welcome to a new episode of Couch 2 00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:16,560 Speaker 1: Talks on You Need Therapy. My name is Kat and 3 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:19,440 Speaker 1: I'm the host. And if you're new when you don't 4 00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:22,120 Speaker 1: know what catch Talks is, it is the special bonus 5 00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:25,240 Speaker 1: episode that comes out every single Wednesday where I answer 6 00:00:25,320 --> 00:00:29,400 Speaker 1: questions that listeners like you send to Catherine at You 7 00:00:29,440 --> 00:00:34,400 Speaker 1: Need Therapy podcast dot com and like any episode, just 8 00:00:34,479 --> 00:00:37,680 Speaker 1: because I am a therapist and also because I'm answering 9 00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:40,240 Speaker 1: questions that you guys sent to me. This still does 10 00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:43,720 Speaker 1: not serve as a substitute or replacement for actual therapy 11 00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:47,239 Speaker 1: or mental health services. However, it might help get you 12 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:49,640 Speaker 1: to a place where you can access those things, or 13 00:00:50,159 --> 00:00:53,120 Speaker 1: um where you want to actually access those things, or 14 00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:56,080 Speaker 1: might just help you in your own therapeutic process that 15 00:00:56,600 --> 00:01:01,400 Speaker 1: you have outside of this podcast. Now today, I am 16 00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:05,279 Speaker 1: recording this on a Tuesday, and it is the second 17 00:01:05,319 --> 00:01:10,399 Speaker 1: day back from a beautiful vacation that I had with 18 00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:14,440 Speaker 1: my family. We went to the lake where my parents 19 00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:17,000 Speaker 1: have a lake house, and aunts and my grandma and 20 00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:21,440 Speaker 1: my uncle's and all my siblings in their spouses and 21 00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:24,800 Speaker 1: their kids came, and my boyfriend came and it was 22 00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:27,959 Speaker 1: so fun, but It definitely went by way too fast. 23 00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:33,280 Speaker 1: We ate the best food. We played so many games, 24 00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:36,199 Speaker 1: card games. I am a new fan of this game 25 00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:42,200 Speaker 1: called skip Bow s k I p skip bo. I 26 00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:43,920 Speaker 1: bought it because I was looking for a pack of 27 00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:45,760 Speaker 1: face ten cards and there out, so we bought that, 28 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:48,280 Speaker 1: and so I'm a huge fan of that. Now. My 29 00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:50,880 Speaker 1: family likes to play Past the Trash. That's not my 30 00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:53,760 Speaker 1: favorite game because I think it gets redundant, but my 31 00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:56,440 Speaker 1: family loves it so play that. I got my family 32 00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:58,520 Speaker 1: to play some because I loved that game. I did 33 00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:02,480 Speaker 1: two puzzles and yeah, we just had a good time. 34 00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:05,760 Speaker 1: And so I'm back and I want to on a 35 00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:09,160 Speaker 1: vacation like tomorrow again, but I can't do that. I'm 36 00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:12,600 Speaker 1: also in the process of selling my house and then moving, 37 00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:17,600 Speaker 1: so I'm very excited because my new house is so beautiful. 38 00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:21,480 Speaker 1: My dad and my brother's company, Defata Custom Homes built it. 39 00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:26,600 Speaker 1: So if you're in this area, if you're in Nashville, Franklin, Nolansville, 40 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:29,720 Speaker 1: UM and you're looking to buy a new custom home, 41 00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:32,120 Speaker 1: you need to look them up, or even if you're not, 42 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:36,079 Speaker 1: you should follow their Instagram because they post a lot 43 00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:40,239 Speaker 1: of really beautiful pictures of their houses, the interior and exterior, 44 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:43,720 Speaker 1: so it might just help with some you know, of 45 00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:47,079 Speaker 1: your own inspo, whether it's like renovations you want to do, 46 00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:51,480 Speaker 1: or design or decor, because they stage a lot of 47 00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:54,880 Speaker 1: their houses too, so if you want to follow that, 48 00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:58,560 Speaker 1: you can just follow at Defata Custom Homes and Defata 49 00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:00,840 Speaker 1: as D E, F A T t A just like 50 00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:03,240 Speaker 1: my name. I'm just looking at their page now and 51 00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:08,040 Speaker 1: everything is so freaking beautiful. Anyway. I say all of 52 00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:10,320 Speaker 1: this just to say my life's been a little bit 53 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:13,640 Speaker 1: out of the norm and I'm just kind of like 54 00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:17,600 Speaker 1: waiting around until I get there. They are about to 55 00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:19,440 Speaker 1: say red light, but I meant green light, the green 56 00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:22,240 Speaker 1: light to actually move so that I can like settle down. 57 00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:24,840 Speaker 1: I'm living in this limbo right now where I'm like, 58 00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:27,560 Speaker 1: at any moment, I could be ready to like move 59 00:03:27,919 --> 00:03:30,079 Speaker 1: and be in a new house, but just like sitting 60 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:34,519 Speaker 1: packing up stuff day by day, cleaning over and over again. Um, 61 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:36,839 Speaker 1: because I'm showing my house and I want to look 62 00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:39,480 Speaker 1: perfect so if somebody buys it. So if you're looking 63 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:42,760 Speaker 1: for a new house, I'm selling mine and it's really cute. Anyway, 64 00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:44,440 Speaker 1: I think that we need to get to the point 65 00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:47,600 Speaker 1: of this episode. Let's get back to the question that 66 00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:50,080 Speaker 1: we are going to talk about today. So, if you're 67 00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:52,560 Speaker 1: new again catch Shocks. I answer questions that you guys 68 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:55,400 Speaker 1: send in. I try to stick to one question a week, 69 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:57,720 Speaker 1: and I really like the question I have this week. 70 00:03:57,920 --> 00:04:00,960 Speaker 1: It's pretty intense. It like my heart to read because 71 00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:04,320 Speaker 1: I know the situation must be so hard. So let's 72 00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:09,480 Speaker 1: get into the question here it is, Hey, cap I 73 00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:13,280 Speaker 1: have a question for you. Maybe it's about boundaries, maybe not. 74 00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:17,320 Speaker 1: But I have a very strenuous relationship with my mom. 75 00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:19,560 Speaker 1: When I was a child, she was verbally and emotionally 76 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:24,000 Speaker 1: abusive at best and at times physically abusive. As adults, 77 00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:26,359 Speaker 1: we get along great for the most part, and distance 78 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:29,279 Speaker 1: plays a big part in that. I'm thirty eight and 79 00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:32,719 Speaker 1: she lifts five hours away. She shows love through gifts, 80 00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:35,320 Speaker 1: she buys things ran only nails me, things like oils 81 00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:38,719 Speaker 1: I like, or candles or dish towels, just whatever. But 82 00:04:38,839 --> 00:04:41,840 Speaker 1: her favorite game is the guilt trip. When she doesn't 83 00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:43,919 Speaker 1: get what she wants or doesn't get her way, she 84 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:46,560 Speaker 1: plays the poor me, nobody loves me, you don't care enough. 85 00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:49,640 Speaker 1: You are a terrible daughter card. She came to visit 86 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:52,400 Speaker 1: a few months ago, rented an airbnb because I wouldn't 87 00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:54,719 Speaker 1: let her bring her four dogs to my house and 88 00:04:54,760 --> 00:04:58,359 Speaker 1: the airbnb allowed them. That was our compromise, but she 89 00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:01,320 Speaker 1: stayed over there the entire time time to quilt. She 90 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:03,680 Speaker 1: came over to my house twice for dinner and left 91 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:06,839 Speaker 1: after an hour because she urgently had to go. When 92 00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:09,400 Speaker 1: she visits, she commonly comes a day later than promised 93 00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:12,240 Speaker 1: or leaves a day early, and always says it's because 94 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,920 Speaker 1: she's not feeling well or not getting enough sleep, because 95 00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:16,799 Speaker 1: she's not in her own bed, or has a headache, 96 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:19,880 Speaker 1: et cetera. I visited her the past weekend and was 97 00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:23,359 Speaker 1: there Thursday night, all day Friday, all day Saturday, and 98 00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:26,599 Speaker 1: had informed her ahead of time we'd be leaving Sunday morning. 99 00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:29,120 Speaker 1: We woke up around nine, got showered and ready for 100 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:31,920 Speaker 1: the day, and at ten fifteen they were just waking up, 101 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:34,480 Speaker 1: so my husband said, let's just go out for breakfast 102 00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:36,880 Speaker 1: and hit the road. When I went to let her 103 00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:39,719 Speaker 1: know we would be leaving soon, she literally threw a 104 00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:42,400 Speaker 1: fit like a three year old, stopped her foot and 105 00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:44,880 Speaker 1: started crying and said, you always do this, You always 106 00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:47,159 Speaker 1: wake up and rush off and leave early. You do 107 00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:49,880 Speaker 1: this every time. I just hugged her and told her 108 00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:51,839 Speaker 1: I loved her and that we needed to go. I'm 109 00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:53,560 Speaker 1: able to let this roll off my back and give 110 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:56,280 Speaker 1: her time to calm down. But the couch talk question 111 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:59,279 Speaker 1: is do I address this behavior with my mom? She's 112 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:02,360 Speaker 1: hypocritical and loves to make me feel guilty. While I 113 00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:05,120 Speaker 1: can handle it and put distance between us to help 114 00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:08,800 Speaker 1: make the frequency less often, it's still emotionally challenging to 115 00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:12,120 Speaker 1: receive this kind of treatment from her on a repetitive basis. 116 00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:16,760 Speaker 1: Or do I set even from our boundaries and what 117 00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:20,680 Speaker 1: would that even look like? Please help? Okay, So this 118 00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:23,600 Speaker 1: is a really hard place to be because we can't 119 00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:27,279 Speaker 1: force people to change or understand us. And just with 120 00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:31,719 Speaker 1: this context of your mom's behavior, she seems somewhat erratic 121 00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:35,520 Speaker 1: and predictable in an unstable way. We can predict that 122 00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:37,520 Speaker 1: she's going to be unstable, and we can predict that 123 00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:41,000 Speaker 1: she's most likely not going to be understanding. And from 124 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:44,560 Speaker 1: what I'm seeing, your mom lacks emotional regulation and the 125 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:48,279 Speaker 1: ability to perspective take, and therefore ends up being hurtful 126 00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:54,279 Speaker 1: due to that unhealthy selfishness. That that creates. So I 127 00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:57,640 Speaker 1: would encourage you to do what you need to do 128 00:06:57,760 --> 00:07:00,680 Speaker 1: in order to protect your energy and your space. You 129 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:04,039 Speaker 1: can talk to her and express yourself, but I'm unsure 130 00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:06,360 Speaker 1: if that is going to actually be enough for your 131 00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:09,440 Speaker 1: mom to make such a big shift, Like, I don't 132 00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:13,080 Speaker 1: know what talking to her and address the behavior, what 133 00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:14,760 Speaker 1: the goal of that would be? Are you going to 134 00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:17,160 Speaker 1: address it so then she changes her behavior? You're going 135 00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:19,120 Speaker 1: to address it? Says she's aware of her behavior, Like, 136 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:22,440 Speaker 1: what's the goal in addressing the behavior? Is it for you? 137 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:24,760 Speaker 1: Is it for her? Do you want to say something 138 00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:26,560 Speaker 1: just so you know that you've said something? Are you 139 00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:28,720 Speaker 1: going to say something because you want her to change? 140 00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:31,440 Speaker 1: That's where I would really like hone in on what 141 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:34,040 Speaker 1: that again? The why behind the what? As I like 142 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,880 Speaker 1: to say often because again, you can talk to her 143 00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:38,640 Speaker 1: and express herself. But I'm sure that's going to be 144 00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:41,160 Speaker 1: enough for your mom to make a shift in and 145 00:07:41,640 --> 00:07:45,240 Speaker 1: what would actually make this relationship easier. It sounds like 146 00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:47,360 Speaker 1: she would really need to go to therapy herself and 147 00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:50,160 Speaker 1: work on whatever is driving the behavior that she is 148 00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:52,320 Speaker 1: creating within herself, And it sounds like she's had some 149 00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:56,080 Speaker 1: struggles her whole entire life. From how you said earlier, 150 00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:58,760 Speaker 1: she was abusive to you as a child. Your mom's 151 00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:03,280 Speaker 1: reactions don't sound to be rational, and while that that 152 00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:06,360 Speaker 1: doesn't mean that it doesn't feel rational to her. They 153 00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:10,200 Speaker 1: aren't virgin facts, but in feelings and she feels X, 154 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,800 Speaker 1: so she thinks why, and that thought becomes fact to her. 155 00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:16,280 Speaker 1: And this is where I would say we can insert 156 00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:19,520 Speaker 1: internal boundaries. This is where internal boundaries can come into play. 157 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:22,880 Speaker 1: We don't need to have an intentional conversation with somebody 158 00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:25,920 Speaker 1: in our lives that's not a safe, healthy person to 159 00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:28,040 Speaker 1: have that with for us to be able to set boundaries. 160 00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:30,679 Speaker 1: For example, if I try to have a conversation about 161 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:34,960 Speaker 1: my feelings and something that someone with something like narcissistic 162 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:38,400 Speaker 1: personality disorder did that created hurt for me, that's not 163 00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:41,720 Speaker 1: going to probably end well. It's probably going to result 164 00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:44,240 Speaker 1: in gas sighting and then me feeling like I need 165 00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:46,560 Speaker 1: to apologize for something that I did, instead of me 166 00:08:46,679 --> 00:08:50,760 Speaker 1: getting an apology or creating some way to move forward together. 167 00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:54,079 Speaker 1: So instead of having that conversation, I might just create 168 00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:56,600 Speaker 1: space for me to not be in that situation that 169 00:08:56,679 --> 00:09:00,240 Speaker 1: hurt me. Again, an internal boundary. That's what an internal 170 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:03,199 Speaker 1: boundary would be. Maybe I stopped spending one on one 171 00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:05,720 Speaker 1: time with that person, for example, and that might be 172 00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:08,319 Speaker 1: my internal boundary, and I have to hold myself responsible 173 00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:10,600 Speaker 1: for that. Although we can get help from the people 174 00:09:10,679 --> 00:09:12,520 Speaker 1: that um around to set are healthy and that we 175 00:09:12,559 --> 00:09:15,760 Speaker 1: love and that love us. So here I would encourage 176 00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:18,520 Speaker 1: the same kind of thing. This sucks because this is 177 00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:21,120 Speaker 1: your mom and there's definitely space for you. Don't want 178 00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:22,680 Speaker 1: to spend time with her and want to have a 179 00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:26,440 Speaker 1: healthy relationship, But what we can't do is have a 180 00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:30,040 Speaker 1: healthy relationship with someone who is uninterested in being healthy 181 00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:33,640 Speaker 1: and uninterested in being in healthy relationship. Seems simple, seems 182 00:09:33,679 --> 00:09:36,480 Speaker 1: like a simple old uh, But like we try to 183 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:40,040 Speaker 1: push these limits all of the time. So if the 184 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,560 Speaker 1: feelings you're having when your mom does this kind of 185 00:09:42,559 --> 00:09:45,920 Speaker 1: stuff outweighs the benefit of spending time with her, then like, yes, 186 00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:49,840 Speaker 1: set those firm boundaries, set firmer boundaries. But those boundaries 187 00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:52,240 Speaker 1: may end up being internal things that you need to know, 188 00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:55,200 Speaker 1: things that you need space time. And maybe you and 189 00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:57,719 Speaker 1: your husband can talk about this and he can help 190 00:09:57,800 --> 00:10:00,800 Speaker 1: keep you accountable when you want to engage in magical 191 00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:03,880 Speaker 1: thinking or thinking that things might be different and quotes 192 00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:06,400 Speaker 1: this time around. And I'm not saying that you're doing 193 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:08,720 Speaker 1: that and you're engaging in magical thinking, but it sounds 194 00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:11,720 Speaker 1: like you get something out of this relationship with your mom, 195 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:14,439 Speaker 1: even if it is like small, and so you want 196 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:17,880 Speaker 1: to continue to have time with her, but you might 197 00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:20,080 Speaker 1: need to be more regulatory about the time and what 198 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:23,280 Speaker 1: kind of time and how much time, and you might 199 00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:26,080 Speaker 1: need to leave her house before she wakes up next time, 200 00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:29,640 Speaker 1: and so you're not even engaging in that interaction, and 201 00:10:29,679 --> 00:10:32,719 Speaker 1: you might need to say by the night before when 202 00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:34,720 Speaker 1: you guys go to bed, because you might need to 203 00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:36,920 Speaker 1: even say something like we got to hit the road 204 00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:39,200 Speaker 1: so I can get back for X, Like you can 205 00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:42,400 Speaker 1: have an excuse like I uh. A lot of times 206 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:44,640 Speaker 1: will encourage people when they're having like a phone call 207 00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:46,920 Speaker 1: that they don't want to be on for a long time. 208 00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:49,720 Speaker 1: Set a boundary when you get on the call, but like, hey, 209 00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:51,800 Speaker 1: I have an appointment at three, or I'm on my 210 00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:53,560 Speaker 1: way to the doctor's office. I'm walking in, so then 211 00:10:53,559 --> 00:10:55,120 Speaker 1: you don't feel the need to sit there and linger. 212 00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:57,400 Speaker 1: It's the same thing with your mom. You might say, hey, 213 00:10:57,480 --> 00:10:59,439 Speaker 1: I have this appointment, or I have this meeting at 214 00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:01,360 Speaker 1: one to so I have to hit the road at nine. 215 00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:03,760 Speaker 1: If I don't see you in the morning, it was 216 00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:05,440 Speaker 1: good to see you, like, thanks for having us, I 217 00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:07,360 Speaker 1: love you. Go to bed, then you don't have to 218 00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:09,680 Speaker 1: deal with that. Or it might be like, I'm not 219 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:12,079 Speaker 1: going to go on trips to my mom's house because 220 00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:14,800 Speaker 1: this happens every time, so she can come visit me, 221 00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:17,000 Speaker 1: but I am not going to continue to visit her. 222 00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:20,720 Speaker 1: And whatever those internal boundaries are, you can make them. 223 00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:23,160 Speaker 1: So when you said would that even look like that's 224 00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:24,840 Speaker 1: what it could look like, but it doesn't have to 225 00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:28,160 Speaker 1: look like that. I also hope that you are talking 226 00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:31,840 Speaker 1: about this relationship with either a therapist or even like 227 00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:33,960 Speaker 1: your husband are close friends, because it sounds like something 228 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:36,160 Speaker 1: that can, over and over be hard to sit and 229 00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:39,520 Speaker 1: even if it is like your normal, it's so tough 230 00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:42,440 Speaker 1: and like this just sounds like hard. It sounds like 231 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:46,240 Speaker 1: you're the parent here and that's frustrating and painful, and 232 00:11:46,559 --> 00:11:48,640 Speaker 1: there's space for you to feel whatever you need to 233 00:11:48,679 --> 00:11:52,360 Speaker 1: feel about that. So I hope this was helpful. And 234 00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:56,120 Speaker 1: I really appreciate this question because it was personal and 235 00:11:56,760 --> 00:11:59,800 Speaker 1: I realized and I really actually want everybody to know this, Like, 236 00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:03,040 Speaker 1: I really appreciate when you guys send me questions and 237 00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:05,440 Speaker 1: I'm getting this feedback that you value what I have 238 00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:08,200 Speaker 1: to say. Even though I don't tell you guys what 239 00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:10,840 Speaker 1: to say, you still want to hear thoughts like that 240 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:13,960 Speaker 1: means a lot to me because this is, I mean, 241 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,199 Speaker 1: the podcast I do for fun, but still like this 242 00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:18,719 Speaker 1: kind of conversation is my job and it's nice to 243 00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:22,720 Speaker 1: get some positive reinforcements. So I really do appreciate everybody 244 00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:25,640 Speaker 1: who reaches out and says that they have gotten something 245 00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:27,720 Speaker 1: from the podcast or they want me to answer something 246 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:31,199 Speaker 1: on the podcast. Just as much as you value my feedback, 247 00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:34,480 Speaker 1: I value your desire to be curious with me and 248 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:37,240 Speaker 1: that so thank you to everybody. If you want to 249 00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,640 Speaker 1: follow me, you can follow at cat dot de fata. 250 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:41,920 Speaker 1: That's a private account now, so you'll have to request 251 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:45,880 Speaker 1: me and then the podcast at You Need Therapy Podcast, 252 00:12:46,559 --> 00:12:48,960 Speaker 1: and I will be back on Monday with a very 253 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:52,960 Speaker 1: exciting episode. Guys. I'm so pumped about the interview that 254 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:55,680 Speaker 1: I'm doing this week for the podcast next week. I've 255 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:58,199 Speaker 1: been wanting this guest for a long time, and I 256 00:12:58,240 --> 00:13:01,160 Speaker 1: thought that they would not do it, and they are 257 00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:04,280 Speaker 1: willingly having a conversation with me, which makes me feel 258 00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:07,320 Speaker 1: really good and excited, and so stay tuned for that. 259 00:13:07,679 --> 00:13:09,360 Speaker 1: I hope you have the week you need to have, 260 00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:12,000 Speaker 1: the day you need to have, and I will see 261 00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:13,120 Speaker 1: you on Monday.