Speaker 1: How I Suck a Dating with the Nongler and Darren
Speaker 1: Haven and I Heart Radio podcast. Hey everyone, welcome to
Speaker 1: an all new episode this week of Help I Suck
Speaker 1: at Dating, And as promised in our last episode, We've
Speaker 1: got a great guest today. She's known as the Duchess
Speaker 1: of Decorum, Patty Assai, is joining us. Patty, how's it
Speaker 1: going going great? Thank you? Thanks for having me. Oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, are you kidding? Thank you so much for
Speaker 1: even being here in the first place. So, Patty, you
Speaker 1: have a huge audience online and what, like, what exactly
Speaker 1: do you teach or share with your followers? I teach
Speaker 1: the truth, and what I teach is really um workplace etiquette,
Speaker 1: and I teach also social etiquette and financial literacy. And
Speaker 1: really a lot of my financial literacy is centered around
Speaker 1: women and dating and relationships. So those are the main
Speaker 1: topics that I teach. Okay, gotcha. So it's kind of
Speaker 1: like you cover a wider spectrum of things when it
Speaker 1: goes like you said, work, you said, relationships, you said,
Speaker 1: just like everything throughout the day. What when people come
Speaker 1: to you asking for advice and for help, Like, what
Speaker 1: kind of things do they struggle with? A lot of
Speaker 1: times people come to me struggling with how to handle
Speaker 1: their finances and relationships. So that's a lot of the
Speaker 1: questions that I get. What what is financial etiquette? Then, well,
Speaker 1: financial etiquette is how the hell you're supposed to act
Speaker 1: with your finances when you're in a relationship or when
Speaker 1: you're married. So that's that's really the topics that I
Speaker 1: get a lot because a lot of people are confused
Speaker 1: and they put themselves in, especially women, put themselves in
Speaker 1: detrimental situations because of the way they are with their
Speaker 1: finances and relationships. Okay, I feel like you have I
Speaker 1: know the answer you're going to say to this, But
Speaker 1: as you're moving in together and like joining finances, what
Speaker 1: is your perspective on maybe as like a woman is
Speaker 1: having kids and things like that, as as the relationship
Speaker 1: is progressing on joining finances is and working from the
Speaker 1: same bank account, Like, what is your perspective on what
Speaker 1: we should do in those situations? Yes, so my perspective
Speaker 1: is you do not join finances period. So everyone has
Speaker 1: their own separate account that's where your money goes into.
Speaker 1: And then what happens is if you'd like to have
Speaker 1: a joint account that it's for the family expenses, right,
Speaker 1: so you know the household expenses. Then you can contribute
Speaker 1: from your own account into that account, but your account
Speaker 1: is yours. You have complete and utter control over it.
Speaker 1: Mhm um, Patty, I'm proud to say that's exactly how
Speaker 1: my girlfriend and I have it set up, very smart.
Speaker 1: That's not how my wife and I have it set up.
Speaker 1: So now I'm curious because we look at it as
Speaker 1: our finances are together, all of the finances, so we
Speaker 1: pretty much pull both of our money into you know,
Speaker 1: one account. I mean we always have multiple accounts. I
Speaker 1: have accounts, she has accounts, but like she knows how
Speaker 1: much is in mind, I know how much is in
Speaker 1: hers were very much an open book. So what would
Speaker 1: be the cons of that? Why do you feel that
Speaker 1: there's a better way of doing it? Because I think
Speaker 1: that those situations lend themselves to potential times when things
Speaker 1: go sour in a relationship and you have one account
Speaker 1: and you sometimes may not have control over what happens
Speaker 1: to that money. So let's say, you know, God forbid
Speaker 1: you and your fiancee or girlfriend whatever you guys want
Speaker 1: to part ways, right, so one person can take all
Speaker 1: the money and run if they'd like to, or you
Speaker 1: really don't have much control over your own money because
Speaker 1: since it's in that account, you really don't feel comfortable
Speaker 1: spending it freely liking normally would Jared, what do you
Speaker 1: think of that? How does that? How does that make
Speaker 1: you feel? Well? Okay, here's the question for you. So,
Speaker 1: if you do have separate accounts, should you know how
Speaker 1: much is in the other person's account, Like, for example,
Speaker 1: Dean and Kalen. Dean, you have your own account, Kalin
Speaker 1: has our own account, but you guys have a joint account.
Speaker 1: Does Calin know how much is in your personal account? Yes,
Speaker 1: she knows how much? How much is in my count?
Speaker 1: How much I have in stocks and investments? And I
Speaker 1: would say like every so months, every every few months,
Speaker 1: or however long we need to wait until we do
Speaker 1: it again, we would both add like an equal amount
Speaker 1: into our joint account, which we would use to spend
Speaker 1: on things like house for renovations and all that kind
Speaker 1: of stuff. And Patty, do you think that's the way
Speaker 1: it should be? Yes? I do, And I think disclosure
Speaker 1: is really important because some people feel like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: if I don't know how much is your account, you're
Speaker 1: trying to hide something. So I think just to ease
Speaker 1: that aspect of it, you should know, um, just what's
Speaker 1: in the other person's account, and all of your finances together,
Speaker 1: so you have a big picture of what you can
Speaker 1: do with your finances. My my biggest thing with it was, uh,
Speaker 1: it's funny that I'm even saying this too, because my
Speaker 1: girlfriend makes a lot more money than I do. So
Speaker 1: if we did shared it, if we pulled all of
Speaker 1: our finances into one account, I would be making out
Speaker 1: like a band that there's no question. Um. But we
Speaker 1: we always put equal money into our joint account, and
Speaker 1: then whatever we spend in that account is always on
Speaker 1: something that benefits both of us equally. It's not like,
Speaker 1: you know, we're not putting money into the joint account
Speaker 1: and then going out and buying her a car, me
Speaker 1: a motorcycle or something like that. It's always stuff that
Speaker 1: we're both using equally equal amounts. Um. And it's worked
Speaker 1: well for us this far. It sounds like that's kind
Speaker 1: of what you're advocating for as well. Um, but yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's definitely. Uh, it's it's been a bit of
Speaker 1: an adjustment. It's the first time I've ever done anything
Speaker 1: like this, same with her, So we're just learning it
Speaker 1: as we go. I guess, so do you guys, Do
Speaker 1: you guys contribute the same amount into the account? Yes? Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I would say like every every like so a
Speaker 1: few months or like you know, we just got our
Speaker 1: backyard renovated. Um, so we would put like ten grand
Speaker 1: each into the account, and then whenever that like depletes
Speaker 1: too much, we would both put ten morellars more into it,
Speaker 1: like that kind of thing. Okay, because I always say
Speaker 1: that if if people are wondering how much should they
Speaker 1: put in an account, of one person makes a lot
Speaker 1: more than the other, you contribute the same percentage of
Speaker 1: your of your income, so that also levels the plane.
Speaker 1: I mean again, I would be making out like a
Speaker 1: bandit if that were the case. And maybe I'll go
Speaker 1: propose the idea of to Klein and see what she said. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: um is any what about you? Do you and Nick
Speaker 1: have a joint baking Um? Not yet? So right now
Speaker 1: we're still in the in between. Um so he I
Speaker 1: we kind of split it where I buy all of
Speaker 1: the food and the stuff for the house and when
Speaker 1: we make changes and he handles like the rent push,
Speaker 1: and so it ends up being like similar down the middle.
Speaker 1: But that's what we have right now. I think when
Speaker 1: we get married and um like combined things a little
Speaker 1: bit more, I think we actually might be in the
Speaker 1: more of the Jared family. But um, I still think
Speaker 1: I would still have my own bank account and my
Speaker 1: own funds and we would probably contribute. It's a little
Speaker 1: bit in the in between. But yeah, I think a
Speaker 1: little bit is the semantics, just for the fact that
Speaker 1: ironically Ashley and I don't have a joint bank account, um,
Speaker 1: but we just feel like our bank accounts are joint,
Speaker 1: even though I have my I have a couple on
Speaker 1: my own, and then she has a couple on her own.
Speaker 1: But it's just like I know how much is in hers,
Speaker 1: and we always talk about finances, and like I we
Speaker 1: never talked to finances as if like Okay, this is
Speaker 1: how much I have in my account, and then this
Speaker 1: is how much I feel comfortable putting in our joint account.
Speaker 1: It so it's just like, yeah, I have this amount
Speaker 1: of in there, and then you have this amount. So
Speaker 1: we have this amount to spend, and this is how
Speaker 1: we're budgeting our house and car and living. You know,
Speaker 1: uh quality and groceries and so on and so forth.
Speaker 1: And Uh, I was going to say, well, what would
Speaker 1: you do if one spouse didn't work so I didn't work, Yes, Like,
Speaker 1: if you're the only one that we're working, then then
Speaker 1: how would you handle that situation? I'm I'm assuming the
Speaker 1: same way where it just be it's our finances, you know.
Speaker 1: I've always looked at it, Um, I have. So I've
Speaker 1: seen it both ways. Okay, because it's hard because okay,
Speaker 1: so full disclosure. So my dad has always worked full time.
Speaker 1: My mom hasn't, and there's always been this tension between
Speaker 1: that um where like it's you know, it's his money
Speaker 1: and spending it. He's like, what are you doing? List
Speaker 1: is you know? And so she's always felt inferior and
Speaker 1: she's always felt insecure about that. Conversely, Ashley's parents, Uh,
Speaker 1: her dad works full time. Her mom wasn't nurse, but
Speaker 1: when she had the kids, she ended up being a
Speaker 1: stay home month so she didn't work anymore. And they've
Speaker 1: never looked at it that way. It's always been their money.
Speaker 1: To the point, I'll tell you a story and I'll
Speaker 1: make sure that Ashley is okay with me saying this
Speaker 1: before we put this out into the world. But we
Speaker 1: went out. The first time I went out to dinner
Speaker 1: with them, Jay, her dad paid for dinner, and I said,
Speaker 1: thank you J so much. I really appreciate it because
Speaker 1: I didn't think twice he paid. And then afterwards, Ashley
Speaker 1: came up to me and she said, listen, the next
Speaker 1: time that happens, it's their money. So you think my
Speaker 1: mom and my dad, And I'm like, oh, I didn't
Speaker 1: think about it that way because her mom fell out
Speaker 1: like she felt inferior, like, oh, well, it's you know,
Speaker 1: it's our money, not just his. Like we're married, this
Speaker 1: is a mutual thing. And so looking at it from
Speaker 1: that aspect and seeing the diconomy between my parents and
Speaker 1: her parents. If I'm being honest, her parents way has
Speaker 1: been much better. Now. Granted that's not for everybody, because,
Speaker 1: like you said, if it doesn't work out, that's troublesome
Speaker 1: because then you run into some issues. But I don't know,
Speaker 1: it's just the way I kind of look at it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I just feel like from my experience it's been it's
Speaker 1: like her parents are rare because you know, I work
Speaker 1: in a male dominant dominated industry. I'm around men constantly. Okay,
Speaker 1: And I can't tell you how often I hear um
Speaker 1: about when you know, when wives don't work, Oh my
Speaker 1: wife spent so much of my money. Oh she's out
Speaker 1: there buying purses. Oh she's this, Oh she's that. And
Speaker 1: it's always a point of contention, even though they have
Speaker 1: a lot of money, even though you know money is
Speaker 1: not an issue, it's never looked upon as her being equal.
Speaker 1: So you know that, that's been my experience. And I
Speaker 1: think your wife's parents are great and that's amazing, but
Speaker 1: I do feel that my experience, that's that's the exception
Speaker 1: to the rule. Unfortunately. I have a question for you, Patty.
Speaker 1: So say, like the wife chooses to stay at home
Speaker 1: for a period of time, she's not working and she's
Speaker 1: not making money. I've seen some people talk about like
Speaker 1: giving an allowance to the wife because even though she's
Speaker 1: not working, she is technically like doing work. She's stay
Speaker 1: at home mom. That's a lot of work as well.
Speaker 1: What would you recommend for those couples who one one
Speaker 1: person of the couple isn't making money, but the other
Speaker 1: one is how do you do that and have one
Speaker 1: person still have their own bank account? And not combined
Speaker 1: forces in those cases. Sure, So I just want to
Speaker 1: start by saying, I think every single woman should work,
Speaker 1: even if you have kids. I think you should work
Speaker 1: because that in that way you maintain your power and
Speaker 1: independence in a relationship. The second that you don't work,
Speaker 1: you're you're giving away a lot of your power in independence.
Speaker 1: Having said that, I know there's some situations where women
Speaker 1: feel like they want to stay home with their kids,
Speaker 1: you know, and and and that's okay, I'm not judging that.
Speaker 1: So in those instances, I think that everyone needs to
Speaker 1: have or the couple they need to have a conversation
Speaker 1: around what they feel comfortable or how they feel comfortable
Speaker 1: handling the finances. So is it a free for all?
Speaker 1: How much do they feel comfortable each of them spending
Speaker 1: and how much is that a week? So I wouldn't
Speaker 1: really call it an allowance per se, but just a
Speaker 1: guideline as to this is where we are financially, this
Speaker 1: is our budget, which I suggest every couple have, and
Speaker 1: this is how much we can spend on, you know,
Speaker 1: extraneous things outside of the necessary items that we need
Speaker 1: for our family. Kah. Yeah, you need to set out
Speaker 1: the ground rules because otherwise it just can cause a
Speaker 1: lot of issues. Patty, I got I got a question
Speaker 1: for you too, So just to catch you have to speed. Uh,
Speaker 1: Jared is married, Sydney is engaged, and I am a
Speaker 1: low life just in a relationship with my girlfriend. Um.
Speaker 1: I see one of your TikTok videos where you say
Speaker 1: never change your name when you get married, and I
Speaker 1: want you to be able to expand on that because
Speaker 1: I'm curious. Yeah. So, Um, the reason I say that
Speaker 1: is because we really have to understand where changing your
Speaker 1: name comes from. And the only women, the only reason
Speaker 1: women changed their name when they got married is because
Speaker 1: they were seen as the property of the man. Women.
Speaker 1: We were not only able to work, they weren't able
Speaker 1: to have bank accounts because they're like, well, why do
Speaker 1: you need money? I mean you're owned by somebody else.
Speaker 1: And then you know, the man was obligated to take
Speaker 1: care of his wife, and that's where it comes from. Oh,
Speaker 1: you know a man is supposed to provide and protect.
Speaker 1: That only comes from that notion that he's providing protecting
Speaker 1: his property, just like he's supposed to provide and protect
Speaker 1: for his sheep and his cows and any other thing
Speaker 1: he owns. So um, that's really where that concept comes from.
Speaker 1: And you know, like when a woman, uh, when women
Speaker 1: get married, they get walked down the aisle by their
Speaker 1: dad's their dad is giving them away because before their
Speaker 1: husbands owned them, their fathers owned them. So that's why
Speaker 1: I say, there's really no need to change her name
Speaker 1: at this point. So it's it's coming from a place
Speaker 1: of like deconstructing the patriarchy, where which I fully agree
Speaker 1: with too. And uh, I've said on this podcast, when
Speaker 1: if and when Kaitlin and I put pen to paper,
Speaker 1: we are going to change her names, but we're both
Speaker 1: going to change our last names. So I thought it
Speaker 1: was gonna be I thought it's gonna be something like,
Speaker 1: don't lose your identity by changing your name. But I
Speaker 1: do agree with you, And it's been one of my
Speaker 1: big gripes with even just marriage in general. Marriage is great,
Speaker 1: you know for so many reasons, it's right for so
Speaker 1: many people. It just seems like such an antiquated ideal
Speaker 1: idea to me in so many ways, and so I've
Speaker 1: been fighting it for as long as I can. It's fun,
Speaker 1: it's fun. I'm eventually gonna lose, but you know, if
Speaker 1: I'm putting up as good of a fight as I
Speaker 1: possibly can. Even when you change your name like that,
Speaker 1: do you guys just pick a new last name or
Speaker 1: do you combine your name or how does that work? Uh? Yeah,
Speaker 1: like what would be like milerked or something like that. Um, well,
Speaker 1: now we both agreed. So my late mother's last name
Speaker 1: was Bell, her maiden name was Bell, uh, and so
Speaker 1: he would beat Dean Bell and Kaylin Bell like that.
Speaker 1: And it's funny too because my brother married his wife
Speaker 1: last year and they both did the same thing. So
Speaker 1: now he's Brad Bell and she's Ashley Bell. Um. So
Speaker 1: in a way, we are taking my last name, I guess,
Speaker 1: but we're both changing our last names for my mother's
Speaker 1: maid a name like that that. Um are you are
Speaker 1: you excited to lose Lutwaco? Um? I just kind of
Speaker 1: like how the names how Sydney Weeby sounds. I see
Speaker 1: it as less of like me being owned by Nick
Speaker 1: and more of just like a closing of one chapter
Speaker 1: and like a starting of another, in a way, less
Speaker 1: like ownership. But I mean, I know everyone's different with this,
Speaker 1: and everyone has their own way of going about things. Um,
Speaker 1: I'll still have like my last name in my name,
Speaker 1: just not like my last last name. So is it
Speaker 1: going to be Sidney Lutwaco. I think it'll be like
Speaker 1: my whole name, just like inserting. We be at the end,
Speaker 1: just rearranging some things. Yeah, yeah, nice Patty. Another question
Speaker 1: for you, So we're all that etiquette um over here,
Speaker 1: what do you what's your stance on and on the
Speaker 1: etiquette of one guy dating thirty women on national television.
Speaker 1: I just think it's so absurd advice. I mean, it's
Speaker 1: it's not as anything with being a guy or a woman.
Speaker 1: I I just think all of that is so absurd
Speaker 1: because at the end of the day, I mean, you
Speaker 1: just cannot find love in those instances, you know, you
Speaker 1: it's so fabricated, and trust me, you know I get
Speaker 1: on TV and whatnot, and just the preparation that goes
Speaker 1: into that alone, everything is just so stage that you
Speaker 1: you can't find love. I mean, it's just ridiculous. You see,
Speaker 1: you know, him kissing like ten women or her kissing
Speaker 1: like ten dudes. Come on, I mean, hey, I agree,
Speaker 1: you're preaching preaching of the choir over here. Let's evolve
Speaker 1: from that, you know, yes, yes, So Patty, I want
Speaker 1: to ask about your etiquette about dating etiquete, because obviously
Speaker 1: we're a dating podcast. Is there any data to kit
Speaker 1: that's normal in today's standards that shouldn't be. I'm trying
Speaker 1: to think of an example, like guys paying for the
Speaker 1: first date or um, something like that. Yeah. I think
Speaker 1: one thing that everyone thinks as normal is that the
Speaker 1: guy should pay for all the dates. You know. I
Speaker 1: I watch a lot of TikTok just because I'm on
Speaker 1: TikTok and there are so many of those videos. I
Speaker 1: am a queen. Guy has to pay for the date,
Speaker 1: you know, and I need to be treated like a queen.
Speaker 1: And again that comes from that notion of ownership is
Speaker 1: to you know, a man has to pay for you
Speaker 1: because you know, he is supposed to be your owner.
Speaker 1: And we've been kind of brainwashed into thinking that. So
Speaker 1: as far as etiquette itself goes as far as dating,
Speaker 1: whoever asks pays. So if the guy asks the girl out,
Speaker 1: then he should pay. And if the girl wants to
Speaker 1: ask a guy out, I think it's okay if she pays. UM.
Speaker 1: I don't think there should be gender roles because once
Speaker 1: you get to general roles like that it. It just
Speaker 1: becomes kind of tricky because you'll get to a point
Speaker 1: where the guys always paying for everything. And I always say,
Speaker 1: he who controls the gold makes the rules. So if
Speaker 1: a guy is always paying for everything, he is going
Speaker 1: to have a lot more say so and where you go,
Speaker 1: where your vacation, what you eat, and you'll slowly start
Speaker 1: to see you have less less say so in the
Speaker 1: relationship because yeah, naturally he's paying, he gets to pick.
Speaker 1: So how do we break out of those, uh that
Speaker 1: gender role dating etiquette? Because I have a lot of
Speaker 1: friends that are girls and I constantly hear them say like,
Speaker 1: this guy is just not asking me out. And then
Speaker 1: I say, well, why don't you ask him out? And
Speaker 1: they're like, well, I'm I'm not the guy. The guy
Speaker 1: needs to ask the girl out. So how do we
Speaker 1: break out of this? I think again, we have to
Speaker 1: understand the mentality that goes behind it. And I use
Speaker 1: this for it a lot, but it's true. It's the
Speaker 1: brainwashing of thinking that you know, a man's role is
Speaker 1: X and a woman's role is X, and we we
Speaker 1: know where that comes from, we know we know why
Speaker 1: we're thinking that way, and because of that, we just
Speaker 1: need to just be courageous. If you want to ask
Speaker 1: a guy out, ask a guy out. I I don't
Speaker 1: think I don't think we should be afraid to do that. Now.
Speaker 1: The right guy is not going to be turned off
Speaker 1: by that. Okay. The guy that's right for you is
Speaker 1: not going to be turned off by that. A guy
Speaker 1: that's not right for you is going to be turned
Speaker 1: off because, like, I don't want a girl asking me out.
Speaker 1: I want to do all the asking out. Okay, he
Speaker 1: can find someone that you can ask out. I agree, Patty.
Speaker 1: I feel like we're I feel like we should be
Speaker 1: best friends because I agree with everything you say and
Speaker 1: everything every time you say something, I'm like, Yep, she's
Speaker 1: nailed it again. Um. But Patty, before we let you go, though,
Speaker 1: I've got some questions. So you said you're big on TikTok,
Speaker 1: and for the listeners out there that want to go
Speaker 1: follow you on TikTok, your handle is it's the It's
Speaker 1: Duchess of Decorum. Duchess of Decorum. Okay, I love that.
Speaker 1: Where did you come up with that? By the way, Actually,
Speaker 1: the fans started calling me that, you know, Yeah, They're like, oh,
Speaker 1: you teach decorum Oh, you're like a duchess and it
Speaker 1: just kind of, yeah, it just kind of stuck. It's stuck.
Speaker 1: What's your what's your take on etiquette with like TikTok,
Speaker 1: Because especially when it comes to like posting thirst traps
Speaker 1: and stuff, there's like a whole side of TikTok where
Speaker 1: it's like so cringe e and awkward and just watching
Speaker 1: it kind of makes you feel uncomfortable. What's your Like,
Speaker 1: Let's say you meet someone you really like them, and
Speaker 1: then you go on their social media and you see
Speaker 1: that they're like kind of one of those people that
Speaker 1: post like a lot of like shirtless there's there's traps
Speaker 1: and that kind of stuff, and you don't really vibe
Speaker 1: but that. What's your take on that? Well? Yeah, I
Speaker 1: I think I think what's on someone's social media tells
Speaker 1: you a lot about them, tells you so much and
Speaker 1: tells you, you know what, whether they're the type of
Speaker 1: person that you want to be with or not, because um,
Speaker 1: if yeah, the thirst traps and if someone's there with
Speaker 1: you know, dressed in a way that that you think
Speaker 1: is inappropriate, that's not the person for you and you
Speaker 1: And as a creator, I am always conscious of what
Speaker 1: I put out there because um, you everyone's watching. Everybody's watching.
Speaker 1: You don't put anything on social media that you don't
Speaker 1: want the world to see, including your boss or the
Speaker 1: CEO of your company. Because I can't tell you how
Speaker 1: many people get fired because of that. They you know,
Speaker 1: they don't know their social media policy at work, They
Speaker 1: go on TikTok, they say and do stupid stuff, and um,
Speaker 1: you know, and their their company season fires them. And
Speaker 1: I think what a lot of people fail to realize
Speaker 1: too when they start dating someone that's got like a
Speaker 1: cringe e for lack of a better words social media
Speaker 1: is you start talking and dating that person, then that
Speaker 1: becomes kind of like a reflection of you in a
Speaker 1: lot of ways too. So something seriously absolutely, they're like, oh,
Speaker 1: you're dating this person? Are you serious? He hasn't worn
Speaker 1: a shirt and three years right exactly. Um, Patty, Well,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for joining us. We appreciate it.
Speaker 1: I feel like we have so much left to learn
Speaker 1: from you still. Um, if you want to learn more
Speaker 1: from Patty be shure checker out on TikTok. Justice Duchess
Speaker 1: of Decorum. Um, I love that and I think it's
Speaker 1: so great. Is there anything else you want to say
Speaker 1: before we let you get out of here, Just that
Speaker 1: in dating and relationships, always maintain your power and independence,
Speaker 1: which stems from financial independence. I always know that that's genius.
Speaker 1: You're you're like I said, I want to be your
Speaker 1: best friend. I hope that we can hear from from that.
Speaker 1: You just got one new TikTok, well three new TikTok followers,
Speaker 1: Sydney and jaredy are going to join you too. But
Speaker 1: we appreciate you joining us. Um this, I had a
Speaker 1: lot of fun. Thanks for the next time. All right,
Speaker 1: I have a good day. All right, everybody, welcome back
Speaker 1: to help by second dating. We didn't get to any
Speaker 1: emails last episode. Um, I think it was last episode.
Speaker 1: We're doing multiple episodes a week now, so I don't
Speaker 1: really know how these get ordered. But we're gonna do
Speaker 1: an email now. So if Eastern is there, if hannas there,
Speaker 1: maybe Sidney wants to read the email for us, who knows,
Speaker 1: but we got one. Unlet's see if you can get
Speaker 1: to it, anyone, anyone. I'll read it, Jared, I'll read it.
Speaker 1: I'll read it. I'll take it. All right. So this
Speaker 1: is from anonymous shocking I'm pretty sure this is from
Speaker 1: a producer because it said it would be so much
Speaker 1: fun to ask these during the podcast and get everyone's
Speaker 1: opinion whether they think it's true or false. That's right,
Speaker 1: We're gonna play a little true or false here, which
Speaker 1: means next week we should do what is the hamma
Speaker 1: saying not true? Bible? Bible Bible. Oh wow, apparently this
Speaker 1: is real. A producer saying this is a really email. Well,
Speaker 1: thank you help. I suck at dating podcast listener. Someone
Speaker 1: else wants to send an email, and where do the email?
Speaker 1: They can email us at all. I suck at dating
Speaker 1: at ihart media dot com. That is right, I suck
Speaker 1: at dating at I heart media dot com. Shout out
Speaker 1: to also the very very nice lady. I think her
Speaker 1: name was Alex, and her boyfriend or a husband, I
Speaker 1: can't remember him, so I have such a bad memory.
Speaker 1: They came into the coffee shop and they said they're
Speaker 1: part of farm May. They listen to the podcasts all
Speaker 1: the time, so I love them so much. Thank you
Speaker 1: so much. All right, let's get to this email true
Speaker 1: or false? First one, Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,
Speaker 1: where the hell is it? Hold on, I'm scrolling. Here
Speaker 1: we go. False. Jealousy is a sign of love. Uh,
Speaker 1: I would say little rapid fire here. False. False, It's
Speaker 1: definitely false. I think we're all on the same page
Speaker 1: and his one true or false opposites attract false. Oh
Speaker 1: so I'm the deciding vote on this one. This one
Speaker 1: is true. I'm with Sydney because I think opposites attract.
Speaker 1: I think the same people attract. I think just people
Speaker 1: are attracted to other people. That's false, that's true. No,
Speaker 1: because obviously that's yeah, so true, opposites do at tract,
Speaker 1: but also the same can attract. That was a question.
Speaker 1: We're talking about magnets. Yeah, of course opposite magnets attract.
Speaker 1: For sure. That's fine. But I would say, generally a
Speaker 1: rule of thumb, it's not just because your opposite doesn't
Speaker 1: make you attract. Yeah. Do you think you're opposite of Kalin? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I am. But I don't think we're attracted to each
Speaker 1: other because we're opposites. I think we're attracted to each
Speaker 1: other for many other for the fact that we're opposite
Speaker 1: of each other almost like pushes us apart, but everything
Speaker 1: else brings us closer together. Yeah, but you're still attracted
Speaker 1: to one another and your opposites he opposite. That's what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. We didn't say it didn't say opposites are
Speaker 1: attracted to other opposites because they're opposite. It just said
Speaker 1: opposites tract. I'm saying, we're attracted to each other in
Speaker 1: spite of our opposition and many things. Dean, there's no
Speaker 1: reason to fight. You lost two to one. Here we go. Divorce. Oh,
Speaker 1: divorce runs in the family. Oh. People say that a lot.
Speaker 1: I would say true. Yeah, I would say true too.
Speaker 1: And and the only reason I want to say true,
Speaker 1: I don't think it's like an hereditary thing. But I
Speaker 1: will say, uh, if you're brought up seeing things a
Speaker 1: certain way, it's kind of hard to kick those habits
Speaker 1: the older you get. Yeah, you can, but you can't.
Speaker 1: Of course, you absolutely can't. That's very Just because it
Speaker 1: runs in the family doesn't mean you have to be
Speaker 1: a productant divorce as well. True. False. Intense passionate romantic
Speaker 1: love lasts no more than a few months to a year.
Speaker 1: I think true. Because you don't want it to be
Speaker 1: like that hot and heavy forever, like you want like groundedness.
Speaker 1: You want to get in, get out and get on
Speaker 1: it your day. Yeah, I feel like those tend to
Speaker 1: burn out quicker when I like that. So you're going
Speaker 1: true said, yeah, I want to say it's false with
Speaker 1: shades of true, Like it's kind of like it comes
Speaker 1: and goes in waves. You know, I'm gonna say false
Speaker 1: just so my wife doesn't divorce me. True love should
Speaker 1: be easy and effortless. True false false false did not
Speaker 1: agree on this one. It's just a guy thing and
Speaker 1: maybe yeah maybe, I mean it's hard sometimes, but that
Speaker 1: doesn't mean it's not true love. I'm thinking from the
Speaker 1: dating perspective of like everyone thinking like there should be
Speaker 1: games and like the playing, and I just found like
Speaker 1: one something's right. It's easier than those things. But yeah,
Speaker 1: every relationship is definitely going to be interesting. And I
Speaker 1: agree with you in the in the early stages it
Speaker 1: should be effortless. But I think once you get to
Speaker 1: a certain point, it's like, well, you're gonna have your issues,
Speaker 1: and if you don't put the effort into making it work,
Speaker 1: it's not gonna work. But I see you probably do
Speaker 1: agree with you true and false. Kissing is more important
Speaker 1: for a healthy relationship than sex. Uh, that's so hard. True.
Speaker 1: To be careful on how we answer this one. I
Speaker 1: think true as well. Think about it. Let's ask you this.
Speaker 1: This goes to both you guys, if you could know,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna ask it. Actually what I was I
Speaker 1: was gonna say, if you could either, if you could
Speaker 1: either kiss or have sex with your partner for the
Speaker 1: rest of your life, one or the other, not both,
Speaker 1: which one would you have? I would say kiss, because
Speaker 1: you can kiss every place. Now that's thinking outside the box.
Speaker 1: I was gonna say kiss as well, and so that's
Speaker 1: why kissing might be more. Okay, that's a good way
Speaker 1: to ask it. Then. Yeah, yeah, Dean always coming in
Speaker 1: with very smart I would agree kissing is more important.
Speaker 1: That says true or false. Men fall in love faster
Speaker 1: than women. I don't know, guys, I think, well, we've
Speaker 1: all seen The Bachelor. It seems like they fall faster. This,
Speaker 1: guys suck true. I mean that's true, that's true. I
Speaker 1: think it's funny because I think in both mine and
Speaker 1: Jared's cases it was the girl falling faster, but the
Speaker 1: men eventually falling just as hard as the girl did initially.
Speaker 1: So maybe that's why we were speaking from experience. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's hard to say. That's hard to say, but I'm
Speaker 1: going with false, next true or false three more. There's
Speaker 1: no love like your first love, of I mean true,
Speaker 1: this is my first love. I know. Yeah, Jared, what
Speaker 1: do you say? I don't know, I get I'm going
Speaker 1: to say true because it says that your first love
Speaker 1: is there's no love like your first love. That doesn't
Speaker 1: mean that there's not better love. Exactly. My love for
Speaker 1: Ashley is better, but it is very different than the
Speaker 1: one I had with my first love. And that's exactly
Speaker 1: where I was gonna go with it too. No one
Speaker 1: will ever replace my first love, of course, because you
Speaker 1: can't replace your first love, but I would say my
Speaker 1: love with Caylen is better than my first love. Relationship
Speaker 1: weight gain is a thing false. I was gonna say, Sydney,
Speaker 1: I feel like you like look you look fantastic, even
Speaker 1: a relationship with for how long. And it's funny because
Speaker 1: Caylin has only gotten way more attractive since we started
Speaker 1: doing too, so like for a girl. Maybe it's not
Speaker 1: the case, but I don't know. I think the happier.
Speaker 1: I'm just like, it's glowy. I don't know that helped me,
Speaker 1: but I think it can be true or false, depending
Speaker 1: on it. I think it's true for men false for women.
Speaker 1: The women get prettier and the men get fatter and uglier. Beautiful,
Speaker 1: you look more handsome than I've ever seen you look
Speaker 1: in your entire life. Today. Now I'm blushing. When I
Speaker 1: was single, when I would go to the gym, I
Speaker 1: would force my self go to the gym because I
Speaker 1: was like, no one's gonna want to date you're fat ass,
Speaker 1: So I would like shame myself. But now I'm happy
Speaker 1: in a relationship, so I'm like, she loves me. Whether
Speaker 1: I have seventy two chocolate bars or not, I might
Speaker 1: as well just have them and enjoy my life. Right,
Speaker 1: My biggest thing is now that I'm in a relationship.
Speaker 1: Kaitlin only eats half of her food all the time,
Speaker 1: and so I'm eating my full meal and then half
Speaker 1: of her meal, and so of course I'm gonna put
Speaker 1: on weight. Yeah, I can see that. That's a fair point, alright,
Speaker 1: true last true or false? Doves does absence make the
Speaker 1: grow under? True? I agree that is a entry. Uh
Speaker 1: and that's gonna do it for this anonymous email? So
Speaker 1: whoever said this? Because apparently you are a very real
Speaker 1: human being and listener to this podcast. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1: That was a great email. Please send more emails like
Speaker 1: this too. I Suck at Dating at I Heart media
Speaker 1: dot com. That was a lot of fun and I
Speaker 1: think that's gonna do it for this week's episode of
Speaker 1: Help I Suck a Dating. Right, Team, That is going
Speaker 1: to do it for this week's episode, Right Sydney, Thank
Speaker 1: you guys so much for tuning in this week. If
Speaker 1: you haven't already, go back and listen to our first
Speaker 1: episode of the week, where we talk all about Sydney's
Speaker 1: new engagement to her incredible fiance Nick uh And we
Speaker 1: talked a little bit about Aaron Rodgerson where we want
Speaker 1: him to end up, which is definitely Denver. Maybe a
Speaker 1: little bit about Tom Brady too if you're lucky. But
Speaker 1: that's gonna do it for this week's episode of Help
Speaker 1: I Suck At Dating. Thank you so much for tuning in.
Speaker 1: Be sure to tune in next week where maybe we
Speaker 1: suck just a little bit less. Follow help by Suck
Speaker 1: at Dating on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen
Speaker 1: to podcast m HM