WEBVTT - Knock, Knock 0:00:00.720 --> 0:00:04.120 Wisecrack is released weekly and brought to you absolutely free. 0:00:04.519 --> 0:00:07.040 But if you want to hear the whole season right now, 0:00:07.360 --> 0:00:11.119 it's available and free on Tenderfoot Plus. For more information, 0:00:11.320 --> 0:00:13.920 check out the show notes enjoy the episode. 0:00:18.239 --> 0:00:21.239 The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are solely 0:00:21.280 --> 0:00:25.200 those of the podcast author or individuals participating in the podcast, 0:00:25.440 --> 0:00:29.360 and do not represent those of iHeartRadio, Tenderfoot TV, or 0:00:29.400 --> 0:00:33.360 their employees. This podcast also contains subject matter which may 0:00:33.400 --> 0:00:36.960 not be suitable for everyone. Listener discretion is advised. 0:00:55.480 --> 0:01:13.680 Please welcome to the stage and hedges. Hello, Mine z Ed. 0:01:14.640 --> 0:01:16.399 I woke up to that noise coming from my front 0:01:16.400 --> 0:01:19.760 door on the twenty second of July twenty fifteen, and 0:01:19.800 --> 0:01:22.199 we're going to talk about that in a minute, But. 0:01:22.280 --> 0:01:27.760 First, hello, how are you you well? 0:01:29.200 --> 0:01:29.400 Yeah? 0:01:29.600 --> 0:01:30.960 Good, you seem lovely. 0:01:31.000 --> 0:01:34.039 I've seen you've fucked up the bar, which is nice, 0:01:34.400 --> 0:01:35.160 very British of you. 0:01:35.240 --> 0:01:35.959 I feel at home. 0:01:37.920 --> 0:01:40.720 This is already my favorite city on the face of 0:01:40.760 --> 0:01:41.160 the earth. 0:01:41.280 --> 0:01:45.200 Because it was pouring in Scotland, one of those surprise 0:01:45.240 --> 0:01:49.080 summer storms that barges in like an uninvited guest, sending 0:01:49.080 --> 0:01:52.279 all the tourists running for cover. I was just trying 0:01:52.280 --> 0:01:55.120 to make the best of my vacation, so I slipped 0:01:55.120 --> 0:01:58.680 into a makeshift comedy club off of Southbridge Street. It 0:01:58.800 --> 0:02:01.760 smelled of mildew and beer, but the mood was warm, 0:02:02.560 --> 0:02:05.360 all thanks to a man on stage. 0:02:06.000 --> 0:02:08.840 I just normally do straight stand up, but this is 0:02:08.880 --> 0:02:11.959 a bit different. Just be calm, it's gonna be fine. 0:02:12.000 --> 0:02:14.040 I'm not one of those comedians that picks on people 0:02:14.360 --> 0:02:16.640 at all. You know, there's some comedians that come out 0:02:16.680 --> 0:02:17.280 on stage and are. 0:02:17.200 --> 0:02:19.880 Like, Hey, what's that in your drink? Come? I'm not 0:02:19.919 --> 0:02:23.280 that guy. 0:02:21.520 --> 0:02:26.440 I'm gonna tell you a story, right, and it's gonna 0:02:26.440 --> 0:02:29.120 be one story all the way through. And there's a 0:02:29.160 --> 0:02:30.919 few things I need you to know about this story 0:02:30.960 --> 0:02:31.800 before we kick off. 0:02:32.440 --> 0:02:33.040 It's true. 0:02:33.280 --> 0:02:35.760 Everything I'm gonna tell you is completely true. Apart from 0:02:35.800 --> 0:02:38.760 three things. There are three lies in this story. I'm 0:02:38.760 --> 0:02:41.080 gonna tell three lives. It just helps it move a 0:02:41.120 --> 0:02:42.800 little bit better. Is that okay with you? 0:02:44.200 --> 0:02:44.919 Cool? Okay? 0:02:44.960 --> 0:02:46.679 And what I'm gonna do is when I tell a lie, 0:02:46.760 --> 0:02:49.480 I'm instantly gonna say that was a lie, and no 0:02:49.520 --> 0:02:51.079 one needs to believe a life for long. 0:02:52.560 --> 0:02:55.200 The thing is, I walked in the show that night, 0:02:55.280 --> 0:02:58.880 seeking a brief escape, a quick laugh while the rain passed. 0:03:00.080 --> 0:03:03.120 What I found was a story, one that would shape 0:03:03.120 --> 0:03:07.200 my life for the next nine years. 0:03:09.280 --> 0:03:12.240 Whoes since the death of a woman and a man instanced. 0:03:12.200 --> 0:03:14.840 Lifeless body slumped on the sofa and covered in her 0:03:14.880 --> 0:03:16.320 own congealed. 0:03:16.120 --> 0:03:18.920 So repeatedly stabbed and caused a fatal head injury. 0:03:18.960 --> 0:03:22.120 Today forty one stab wounds to the head, neck and torso, 0:03:22.520 --> 0:03:26.480 plus fourteen blunt force injuries and defensive wounds. 0:03:26.639 --> 0:03:31.120 And this story, it wasn't a joke. It definitely was 0:03:31.240 --> 0:03:43.720 not a joke. From Tenderfoot TV. I'm Jody Tovey and 0:03:43.800 --> 0:04:04.880 this is Wisecrack two, Episode one, Knock. 0:04:04.680 --> 0:04:09.600 Knock, Hello, Edinburgh, How you doing. 0:04:11.640 --> 0:04:11.760 Yea? 0:04:13.400 --> 0:04:16.400 The Edinburgh Fringe is the largest performing arts festival in 0:04:16.440 --> 0:04:20.279 the world, attracting some three million people to Scotland's capital 0:04:20.360 --> 0:04:20.840 each year. 0:04:21.160 --> 0:04:24.640 One time I was at a bar that closed early. 0:04:24.640 --> 0:04:28.000 Because a guy got in a fistfight with his mom. 0:04:29.880 --> 0:04:30.920 That's how it's going down. 0:04:32.120 --> 0:04:34.880 For a few weeks each August, every spare pantry in 0:04:34.920 --> 0:04:38.400 broom closet in town is turned into a performing arts venue. 0:04:39.200 --> 0:04:42.520 Anyone with a dream of becoming famous rushes to get 0:04:42.520 --> 0:04:44.919 their turn in front of the MIC. I was in 0:04:44.960 --> 0:04:48.320 town to enjoy the festival, a Scottish vacation, to beat 0:04:48.320 --> 0:04:51.479 the Atlanta heat, and to take a breather from my job. 0:04:52.200 --> 0:04:55.760 I'm a freelance television producer. Most of my career is 0:04:55.800 --> 0:04:59.120 focused on true crime stories, and week after week of 0:04:59.160 --> 0:05:02.680 studying the complet ex criminal minds of murderers, well, it 0:05:02.720 --> 0:05:06.760 can wear you down. I needed a break when the 0:05:06.800 --> 0:05:10.560 storm hit. I ducked into this eighteen thirties drapery warehouse 0:05:10.839 --> 0:05:17.000 that had been temporarily transformed into a comedy club, and 0:05:17.080 --> 0:05:20.080 that's where I saw Ed Hedges perform for the first time. 0:05:21.160 --> 0:05:23.239 I think, before you crack on the show properly, should 0:05:23.240 --> 0:05:24.520 talk about me a little bit, so I'm not just 0:05:24.560 --> 0:05:26.119 a weirdo on stage telling you a story. 0:05:26.120 --> 0:05:26.720 My name is Ed. 0:05:26.760 --> 0:05:31.560 Everyone say hello, Ed Hello. I'm a comedian. I'm from 0:05:31.600 --> 0:05:33.839 the UK. I'm from a little village, a very small 0:05:33.920 --> 0:05:36.400 village just outside of London you wouldn't have heard of. 0:05:36.400 --> 0:05:38.440 It's called Saphomore and there's not a lot there, like 0:05:38.520 --> 0:05:40.280 four thousand and five thousand people there. 0:05:40.400 --> 0:05:42.080 I'm from a very rural background myself. 0:05:42.120 --> 0:05:44.239 My dad is a farmer and my mum is a cousin, 0:05:44.400 --> 0:05:48.000 so it's not like a lot loads going on. 0:05:49.760 --> 0:05:51.400 It's not a super jumping place. 0:05:52.400 --> 0:05:54.000 I spent my whole life until I was eighteen in 0:05:54.040 --> 0:05:55.920 this little village, and I was the most popular kid 0:05:56.000 --> 0:05:56.560 in the school. 0:05:56.920 --> 0:05:59.320 And that is the first live of the show. See, 0:06:00.160 --> 0:06:02.159 so it's gonna look, it's gonna be fine. You're gonna 0:06:02.200 --> 0:06:02.640 be fine. 0:06:03.320 --> 0:06:06.279 I sat in the back of the room blotting my 0:06:06.320 --> 0:06:09.599 wet hair with a cocktail napkin. The seats were about 0:06:09.720 --> 0:06:13.719 half full, I'd say thirty or forty people. I remember 0:06:13.760 --> 0:06:17.520 thinking to myself two things. This kid has this tired, 0:06:17.600 --> 0:06:20.719 soaked audience eating out of his hand, confident in his 0:06:20.800 --> 0:06:24.360 comic timing. And the second thing I remember thinking is 0:06:24.960 --> 0:06:27.560 why did he tell us he was going to lie? 0:06:28.200 --> 0:06:31.599 Comedy at its roots is about exaggerating reality, distorting the 0:06:31.640 --> 0:06:34.320 truth so you can laugh at it. I mean, no 0:06:34.360 --> 0:06:37.400 one comes to a comedy show expecting the unvarnished truth. 0:06:38.480 --> 0:06:41.440 So why does this comedian feel the need to tell 0:06:41.520 --> 0:06:41.960 us that. 0:06:54.480 --> 0:06:56.120 I wasn't the most popular kid in the school. I 0:06:56.160 --> 0:07:01.400 was bullied relentlessly in school. I had ADHD, dyslexia and asthma, 0:07:01.480 --> 0:07:03.320 so I was into shaking stuff and wheezing. 0:07:03.520 --> 0:07:03.680 Right. 0:07:03.720 --> 0:07:06.279 It was awful, and I love that we just got 0:07:06.279 --> 0:07:10.000 a woo for asthma. I can only imagine that woo 0:07:10.040 --> 0:07:11.800 took every ounce of air you had. 0:07:12.800 --> 0:07:16.920 Whoo, thank you. 0:07:18.960 --> 0:07:20.600 And also another thing on top of that is I 0:07:20.640 --> 0:07:22.920 was a really chubby kid. I was a proper chubby kid. 0:07:23.040 --> 0:07:25.160 I was this little, like chubby ball of energy. 0:07:25.320 --> 0:07:26.520 When I was fifteen. 0:07:26.680 --> 0:07:28.840 Just to put it in context, I was two hundred 0:07:28.880 --> 0:07:32.280 and fifty pounds, So yeah, correct response, Just. 0:07:35.320 --> 0:07:36.720 Your mom didn't do a good job, did you. 0:07:38.720 --> 0:07:41.040 I don't know that it is anything but two hundred 0:07:41.080 --> 0:07:44.760 and fifty pounds. He's actually quite fit, with these soft 0:07:44.800 --> 0:07:48.680 brown eyes and a mop of curls. Like many young comedians, 0:07:48.720 --> 0:07:51.600 he's got a bit of a mischievous aur, but there's 0:07:51.640 --> 0:07:54.960 an undeniable charm about him, the kind that when he grins, 0:07:55.000 --> 0:07:56.400 you can't help but smile back. 0:07:57.960 --> 0:07:59.640 The weird thing about it was I was bullied my 0:07:59.800 --> 0:08:03.640 entire childhood in the village by one guy. I had 0:08:03.640 --> 0:08:05.920 one bully from like kindergarten to the end of my 0:08:05.960 --> 0:08:08.160 school career, the same guy, which a lot of people 0:08:08.240 --> 0:08:09.360 think is quite sad. 0:08:09.600 --> 0:08:12.680 I think it's sweet. I think they are so nice. 0:08:12.760 --> 0:08:14.720 Like he saw me, he was like this, you you're 0:08:14.760 --> 0:08:16.679 the one. 0:08:18.560 --> 0:08:23.520 I'm gonna make your life hell for like ten years. 0:08:23.520 --> 0:08:27.600 His name was Ryan Goddard, just like a manly named Godard. 0:08:28.120 --> 0:08:30.320 He was perfect. Ryan godd was perfect. He was the perfect. 0:08:30.320 --> 0:08:33.640 He was like Alpha, like specimen. He was pretty, he 0:08:33.679 --> 0:08:36.640 had like long blonde hair. He was in great shape. 0:08:36.720 --> 0:08:40.520 Gals loved him. He was charismatic. He was the nicest 0:08:40.520 --> 0:08:43.679 guy in the world unless you were me. He was athletic, 0:08:43.840 --> 0:08:45.920 he was pretty. He always had a tan, even in 0:08:45.960 --> 0:08:50.199 winter in the UK, it's unheard of. He was brilliant 0:08:50.360 --> 0:08:54.120 at most things, and I simply wasn't. 0:08:54.280 --> 0:08:54.880 I just wasn't. 0:08:55.480 --> 0:08:57.800 The worst thing about it was he lived like four 0:08:57.840 --> 0:09:00.400 doors down from me for my entire child, So what 0:09:00.440 --> 0:09:02.160 he would do wait at the end of his garden 0:09:02.360 --> 0:09:04.160 when I was walking to the school bus and he would. 0:09:04.000 --> 0:09:04.520 Just bully me. 0:09:04.920 --> 0:09:06.679 One time, there was like a three week period where 0:09:06.679 --> 0:09:08.880 he'd go to the local bakery before school, which is 0:09:08.920 --> 0:09:11.400 like a six am commitment, hit by donuts, and he 0:09:11.480 --> 0:09:12.959 pelted me with them from the bridge. 0:09:13.679 --> 0:09:15.360 But here's the thing, I'm ashamed to say it. He 0:09:15.400 --> 0:09:16.200 got them so early. 0:09:16.240 --> 0:09:19.600 They were really like fresh and good, and every time 0:09:19.600 --> 0:09:20.400 they'd hit me, I'd. 0:09:20.240 --> 0:09:21.920 Be like, oh, that's good stuff. 0:09:23.800 --> 0:09:26.360 So eventually I got really good at catching the donuts, 0:09:27.280 --> 0:09:29.079 and my catching got so good I got on the 0:09:29.080 --> 0:09:34.600 cricket team, which is like eh, to the point where Keith, 0:09:34.679 --> 0:09:37.079 the cricket coach was like, ed, we're going to give 0:09:37.080 --> 0:09:37.520 you a game. 0:09:37.559 --> 0:09:42.120 Your catching and breasts have increased massively. I wasn't good. 0:09:43.559 --> 0:09:44.280 Ryan was good. 0:09:44.480 --> 0:09:46.800 Brian was like everything I wanted to be, even though 0:09:46.840 --> 0:09:48.840 he bullied me, I wanted to be like him. And 0:09:48.880 --> 0:09:50.600 he was so good at sport. I was always jealous 0:09:50.600 --> 0:09:52.440 that he was good at sport. I've never been good 0:09:52.440 --> 0:09:56.640 at sport ever. I've never played a sports game. Really, 0:09:56.679 --> 0:09:59.400 I've never won a sport. I've won one award in 0:09:59.440 --> 0:10:02.680 my entire life for sports. I'll tell you about it 0:10:02.679 --> 0:10:05.439 really quickly. It was called the Jack Petchi Clubman. 0:10:05.080 --> 0:10:06.640 Of the Year. You wouldn't have heard of it. 0:10:07.120 --> 0:10:10.400 The award was formulated by a man called Jack Petche. 0:10:10.480 --> 0:10:13.080 He's like a businessman in my little area of the 0:10:13.120 --> 0:10:16.680 world who was like, I don't want to say disgraced, right, 0:10:16.840 --> 0:10:23.200 but he was what I will call a naughty businessman, right, like, 0:10:23.280 --> 0:10:26.560 he gave the award to people that had helped out 0:10:27.240 --> 0:10:33.480 with sports clubs or sports association in a non sporting way, 0:10:34.200 --> 0:10:36.679 and basically what it was meant for was people with 0:10:36.720 --> 0:10:39.960 like severe life changing disabilities and really uldly people that 0:10:40.000 --> 0:10:41.080 had been a huge. 0:10:40.840 --> 0:10:41.800 Part of their community. 0:10:42.640 --> 0:10:44.680 And on the Jack Petchey website to this day, you 0:10:44.679 --> 0:10:50.280 can see twelve people that have severe disabilities, some older people, 0:10:51.800 --> 0:10:54.400 and then just one chubby kid that can't catch real good. 0:11:00.080 --> 0:11:02.000 I was given this award. I couldn't catch because of 0:11:02.000 --> 0:11:04.160 the dyslexia and the asthma and the ADHD. 0:11:04.280 --> 0:11:06.640 I just had no hand eye coordination. 0:11:07.920 --> 0:11:11.240 I couldn't read ball, I couldn't catch ball, I couldn't breathe. 0:11:11.280 --> 0:11:16.439 Ball wasn't good for me. Right, So I won the 0:11:16.520 --> 0:11:19.920 Jack Petsy Award, is what I'm saying. I won the 0:11:20.000 --> 0:11:22.640 Jack Petry Award. And the guys comes to my house 0:11:22.679 --> 0:11:24.360 and my career coach comes to my house. Now a 0:11:24.400 --> 0:11:26.120 few facts about the story. My career coach is a 0:11:26.120 --> 0:11:28.880 seventy four year old man in like the early naughties 0:11:28.880 --> 0:11:29.559 when this happens. 0:11:29.720 --> 0:11:30.440 He comes to my house. 0:11:30.480 --> 0:11:32.079 He takes a photo of me in my front room 0:11:32.120 --> 0:11:34.440 holding the award, proudest day in my life so far. 0:11:34.760 --> 0:11:37.360 He goes away, and he then sends that photo to 0:11:37.520 --> 0:11:39.440 the editor of the newspaper. The editor of the local 0:11:39.480 --> 0:11:42.160 newspaper was a man called David Hedge. David Hedge was 0:11:42.200 --> 0:11:44.600 a seventy eight year old man. The reason I'm telling 0:11:44.640 --> 0:11:46.959 you their ages isn't through any kind of ages. It's 0:11:46.960 --> 0:11:49.360 because in the early noughties these men didn't know how 0:11:49.960 --> 0:11:54.160 emails worked. So when Keith sent David the headshot of 0:11:54.200 --> 0:11:57.800 me for the newspaper, he said, David, here is Ed. 0:11:57.800 --> 0:12:01.959 Hedges are Jack Petche Award winner for this year. I'm 0:12:02.000 --> 0:12:04.720 ashamed to be sending you this photo. As you can see, 0:12:04.720 --> 0:12:14.880 he's drastically overweight. He has multiple chins and breasts. Well 0:12:14.880 --> 0:12:19.400 know what you're thinking, But Ed, how do you know 0:12:19.440 --> 0:12:30.240 what the email said? David Hedge saw that email and thought, ah, 0:12:30.320 --> 0:12:33.480 here is the photo and article for. 0:12:33.480 --> 0:12:34.920 The front page of the paper. 0:12:39.080 --> 0:12:42.440 It ran for two weeks, but the scars have last 0:12:42.480 --> 0:12:43.200 little lifetime. 0:12:45.280 --> 0:12:46.320 The worst part about it. 0:12:46.200 --> 0:12:47.680 Was at the bottom of the email he sent to 0:12:47.720 --> 0:12:50.079 David Hedge, he said, should you require a quote from 0:12:50.120 --> 0:12:54.040 mister Hedges, here is his full phone number and address. 0:12:56.240 --> 0:12:58.200 So for like two and you can google this shit. 0:12:58.320 --> 0:13:01.200 Google the Hearts and Essex Observer around two thousand and four. 0:13:01.280 --> 0:13:05.320 It's there still because they had my number for like 0:13:05.360 --> 0:13:07.640 two weeks. I'd get home from school and my mum 0:13:07.640 --> 0:13:08.280 would be on the phone. 0:13:08.360 --> 0:13:10.560 She'd go, bress, darling, it's for you, and. 0:13:10.640 --> 0:13:13.679 I'd have to stand there and be like, thank you 0:13:13.720 --> 0:13:16.280 for your compliment on my breast and cricket. 0:13:18.920 --> 0:13:20.680 I didn't have a great song run up. 0:13:24.400 --> 0:13:27.640 Suddenly it's not just a comedy show, but as shared 0:13:27.679 --> 0:13:31.520 moment of human existence. I grew up in suburban Georgia, 0:13:31.920 --> 0:13:35.959 which wasn't always easy for a girl adopted from South Korea. 0:13:36.040 --> 0:13:39.199 My experience of looking different and treated terribly in some 0:13:39.280 --> 0:13:42.000 cases is pretty unique. I mean, I was put in 0:13:42.080 --> 0:13:46.520 speech therapy classes for not sounding Southern enough, but being 0:13:46.600 --> 0:13:49.200 bullied and intimidated as a child seems to be an 0:13:49.240 --> 0:13:53.400 international language. And Ed's courage to tell his cringey stories 0:13:53.400 --> 0:13:56.520 in front of strangers. He gives us permission to laugh 0:13:56.600 --> 0:13:57.720 at our painful pasts. 0:14:00.160 --> 0:14:01.880 When I turned eighty and I started comedy and I 0:14:01.920 --> 0:14:04.120 moved away from the village, I moved to London and 0:14:04.440 --> 0:14:06.280 it changed Like when I moved I had no friends, 0:14:06.280 --> 0:14:07.640 and now I have three friends. 0:14:07.720 --> 0:14:15.000 So it was like, thank you, didn't go back. I 0:14:15.040 --> 0:14:16.360 didn't go back to my village ever. 0:14:16.559 --> 0:14:19.840 Really, my brothers both live outside as the village I'm from, 0:14:19.880 --> 0:14:22.360 and i'd see my family when they'd visit my brothers. 0:14:22.400 --> 0:14:24.800 And so in twenty fifteen, I'm sitting in my apartment 0:14:24.840 --> 0:14:26.560 in London, minding my own business. I've just got back 0:14:26.600 --> 0:14:28.360 from a gig. I've got my feet up on the table. 0:14:28.680 --> 0:14:30.480 I get a cool I get a call from our 0:14:30.600 --> 0:14:32.640 local counselor and they call me and they say, ed, 0:14:32.920 --> 0:14:35.040 we've seen it. You're a comedian and you're doing quite well, 0:14:35.240 --> 0:14:37.320 and we've seen in newspapers on the internet. 0:14:37.320 --> 0:14:38.720 You're gigging all over the place. 0:14:38.960 --> 0:14:40.960 We want to invite you back to the village to 0:14:41.040 --> 0:14:43.520 do a charity show for us. We're building a thing 0:14:43.520 --> 0:14:45.160 for the kids at the local school and we need 0:14:45.200 --> 0:14:46.560 to raise money, so we're going to do a big 0:14:46.600 --> 0:14:47.760 show in the village hall. 0:14:48.400 --> 0:14:49.440 I thought about it and I was like, I. 0:14:49.360 --> 0:14:51.200 Don't like my village, but this could be a really 0:14:51.320 --> 0:14:54.280 nice experience to go and see all the people that 0:14:54.480 --> 0:14:56.080 I kind of grew up with, but as an adult 0:14:56.160 --> 0:14:58.200 that's gone out into the world and sort of achieved something. 0:14:58.280 --> 0:15:00.560 I thought that'd be quite cathartic, that might be good 0:15:00.600 --> 0:15:02.040 for me, So I said, yeah, I would. 0:15:01.880 --> 0:15:06.000 Love to come. I would love to perform. 0:15:06.200 --> 0:15:09.360 So on twenty second of July twenty and fifteen, I 0:15:09.400 --> 0:15:10.560 go back to the village. 0:15:11.280 --> 0:15:12.360 I get in about eight. 0:15:13.240 --> 0:15:17.280 The show's at nine, but I get in and I 0:15:17.320 --> 0:15:18.640 park outside of the venue. 0:15:19.120 --> 0:15:20.840 I just sort of sit in my car. I'm a 0:15:20.840 --> 0:15:22.320 bit nervous to go in. But then I do go in, 0:15:22.360 --> 0:15:23.040 and I'm scared. 0:15:23.040 --> 0:15:24.680 Everyone's going to be like a dick to me still, 0:15:24.720 --> 0:15:26.840 but they're lovely and I had a brilliant time and 0:15:26.880 --> 0:15:27.320 it was great. 0:15:27.360 --> 0:15:28.640 I still stuck around some drinks. 0:15:28.680 --> 0:15:31.080 I drank my old school teachers, some people I used 0:15:31.080 --> 0:15:32.160 to know from my childhood. 0:15:33.440 --> 0:15:36.400 About half past ten, I leave the gig and I've 0:15:36.400 --> 0:15:36.920 had a drink. 0:15:37.120 --> 0:15:39.440 So I leave my car at the village hall where 0:15:39.440 --> 0:15:41.880 the gig was, and I walk down the road into 0:15:41.920 --> 0:15:43.920 the village and I go to my parents' house. 0:15:43.920 --> 0:15:45.360 I haven't been there for years and years. 0:15:45.600 --> 0:15:46.960 I go down all the streets that I used to 0:15:46.960 --> 0:15:49.880 walk down as a kid, and it's lovely, like it's 0:15:49.920 --> 0:15:50.400 the best. 0:15:50.640 --> 0:15:52.360 I'm a growing up now I've traveled the world a 0:15:52.360 --> 0:15:53.680 little bit. I've got friends. 0:15:54.760 --> 0:15:58.960 I get to my house about half tenish, twenty to 0:15:59.040 --> 0:16:01.840 eleven ish. I walk up to the front door. I 0:16:01.840 --> 0:16:04.440 see the key hole. I'm too drunk for that. See 0:16:04.480 --> 0:16:06.360 I'm not properly smashed. But it's dark and there's no 0:16:06.400 --> 0:16:08.200 street lights in my village. And I just couldn't be 0:16:08.240 --> 0:16:11.760 asked for this. So I walk down the side of 0:16:11.760 --> 0:16:14.440 my house. There's a big iron gate. I push open 0:16:14.440 --> 0:16:16.520 the iron gate into my garden and I go in. 0:16:16.520 --> 0:16:17.000 The back door. 0:16:17.000 --> 0:16:19.800 Because we never locked the back door most of the time, 0:16:19.800 --> 0:16:21.800 don't lock the front door. It is that kind of village. 0:16:22.360 --> 0:16:24.560 I walk into my house, I got out to my bedroom. 0:16:24.800 --> 0:16:27.920 I lay down in my childhood bed, and I fall asleep. 0:16:28.720 --> 0:16:32.920 And that is where our story is going to start tonight. 0:16:33.640 --> 0:16:33.880 Cool. 0:16:35.880 --> 0:16:39.640 There's a shift in Ed's voice and a moment of confusion, 0:16:39.840 --> 0:16:43.240 an awkward silence as he steers us into unknown territory. 0:16:44.320 --> 0:16:48.400 Something about his behavior felt familiar. I'd seen it before 0:16:48.440 --> 0:16:51.200 in my work. He was a ball of anxious energy, 0:16:51.320 --> 0:16:54.640 never looking up or making eye contact with anyone. The 0:16:54.680 --> 0:16:56.920 only thing he had on stage with him was a beer. 0:16:57.720 --> 0:17:02.120 No notes or set list. His childhood stories were hilarious, 0:17:02.200 --> 0:17:06.200 if meandering, but told with such precision that you knew 0:17:06.240 --> 0:17:10.240 he'd live them over and over in his mind. Was 0:17:10.280 --> 0:17:12.920 he just nervous to finally try out new material in 0:17:12.960 --> 0:17:16.520 front of an audience. My gut told me it wasn't 0:17:16.560 --> 0:17:17.240 that simple. 0:17:20.560 --> 0:17:22.400 So I wake up. 0:17:23.480 --> 0:17:25.720 I wake up about twenty minutes after I fell asleep, 0:17:26.119 --> 0:17:28.000 and it's a beautiful night. It's one of the prettiest 0:17:28.080 --> 0:17:30.920 nights i've seen. The moonlight's coming in through the windows, 0:17:30.920 --> 0:17:34.080 and it's just warm. There's a breeze. It's really pleasant. 0:17:35.640 --> 0:17:37.080 But I look around the room. I can see everything. 0:17:37.119 --> 0:17:39.000 I see the desk grow I wrote jokes trying to 0:17:39.040 --> 0:17:40.080 be a comedian as a kid. 0:17:40.280 --> 0:17:41.639 I can see the little bit where I hung up 0:17:41.640 --> 0:17:42.359 my school uniform. 0:17:42.400 --> 0:17:44.080 I can see all my school textbooks that my mum 0:17:44.160 --> 0:17:46.600 was kept on the bookshelf. And at the end of 0:17:46.600 --> 0:17:49.720 my bed, staring out of my window, there is someone standing. 0:17:52.359 --> 0:17:56.399 It's my mum. She's standing at the end of my 0:17:56.400 --> 0:17:58.119 bed staring out the window. But I can see from 0:17:58.119 --> 0:18:00.879 the way the moonlight's sitting her face. She is terrified, 0:18:01.920 --> 0:18:03.600 more scared that I've ever seen her in my life. 0:18:03.920 --> 0:18:05.760 She's scared. She's really scared. 0:18:06.320 --> 0:18:08.679 And I go to say, Mum, what's going on, and 0:18:08.760 --> 0:18:11.800 before I can, she says the words to me, whatever 0:18:11.840 --> 0:18:13.040 you do, do not turn on the. 0:18:13.080 --> 0:18:32.600 Lights, my mom. 0:18:32.720 --> 0:18:35.600 She gets confused a lot, like a lot, which is 0:18:35.600 --> 0:18:37.320 why on that night when I saw her at the 0:18:37.359 --> 0:18:38.800 end of the bed, I wasn't really worried. 0:18:39.320 --> 0:18:40.440 My little village that I'm from. 0:18:41.200 --> 0:18:43.920 I made this recording of Ed said several months after 0:18:44.080 --> 0:18:47.440 I first saw him on stage, but it's virtually unchanged 0:18:47.480 --> 0:18:51.240 since that night in Scotland. The brilliance of Ed's storytelling 0:18:51.359 --> 0:18:54.399 is the second he feels the audience pulling away in 0:18:54.520 --> 0:18:57.840 fear or confusion, he brings them right back with humility 0:18:57.840 --> 0:18:58.320 and humor. 0:18:58.920 --> 0:19:01.080 I thought she'd got in confused, so she had no 0:19:01.119 --> 0:19:03.040 reason to say that. Our village is the quietest place 0:19:03.040 --> 0:19:04.359 in the world. It doesn't have a train station, it 0:19:04.400 --> 0:19:06.399 has one shop. It had a post office, but it 0:19:06.520 --> 0:19:10.800 literally fell down. The worst thing in our village is 0:19:10.840 --> 0:19:15.840 like fucking hoodlums, like bored kids. Our hoodlams are a 0:19:15.880 --> 0:19:18.199 little bit different. They're wonderful. They're just board teenagers. They 0:19:18.240 --> 0:19:20.480 get annoyed. It's a little village called Saffron Walden. They're 0:19:20.520 --> 0:19:24.480 responsible from a favorite ever headline, which was hoodlums throw 0:19:24.560 --> 0:19:30.400 apples at church Trump Page news weeks. They're brilliant as 0:19:30.400 --> 0:19:32.320 a group of four eleven year old boys that call 0:19:32.359 --> 0:19:37.040 themselves the Saffron Suliakshan, which is the best gangster name 0:19:37.040 --> 0:19:38.520 in the world, and it makes them. 0:19:38.560 --> 0:19:42.440 Sound like a packet of biscuits. It's brilliant. They want 0:19:42.440 --> 0:19:44.440 to be gangsters, but they don't know how. No one's 0:19:44.440 --> 0:19:45.040 ever taught them. 0:19:45.480 --> 0:19:48.200 They tried to mug me when I was a kid. 0:19:48.240 --> 0:19:50.639 They tried to mug me and they failed. See if 0:19:50.640 --> 0:19:52.840 you can support what they ruined the mugging. A kid 0:19:52.840 --> 0:19:55.000 came up to me quite late at night and he went. 0:19:55.200 --> 0:19:57.479 Dickhead, why don't you give me your fucking money? Please? 0:20:03.760 --> 0:20:06.960 No, I'm not going to do that. You can't be 0:20:07.000 --> 0:20:08.760 a muggle with manners, can you. You can't do a 0:20:08.840 --> 0:20:14.640 drive by and then signal the rules. His friend tried 0:20:14.640 --> 0:20:16.520 to get some street cred back for his little mate, 0:20:16.880 --> 0:20:19.320 but they were posh, so he ruined it. He went listen, Brava, 0:20:19.640 --> 0:20:21.680 don't you dare bad mouth my man again? Yeah, don't 0:20:21.680 --> 0:20:23.960 you dare disrespect Sebastian. 0:20:25.880 --> 0:20:31.960 No. So I'm in the room. 0:20:32.119 --> 0:20:34.520 I'm staring at my mum and she looks terrified, and 0:20:34.520 --> 0:20:36.479 I'm thinking, well, this isn't going to be anything serious, 0:20:36.560 --> 0:20:38.040 is it. I know Carol, I know what she's like. 0:20:38.160 --> 0:20:41.119 She's easily scared by things. So I decided I'm going 0:20:41.160 --> 0:20:44.200 to go and look for my dad. My dad, John 0:20:44.359 --> 0:20:47.920 is the kind of silver back alpha of the family. 0:20:48.000 --> 0:20:50.920 He's very calm, he's very logical. I go out into 0:20:50.960 --> 0:20:54.919 the hallway and it's pretty. It's a pretty night, you know, 0:20:54.920 --> 0:20:57.200