Speaker 1: Mhm, call hot, Come come baby, Hobby, you came.
Speaker 2: You call. Welcome back to good Mom's Bad Choices. This
Speaker 2: is Erica and I'm Mela, and I'm smoking some sage,
Speaker 2: well not smoking it, but burning, smudging some smudging sage
Speaker 2: across our bodies because we need it. We need it.
Speaker 3: Start taking deep breaths in the beginning of each episode.
Speaker 2: Together, Let's do it together, guys, already one, two, three, in.
Speaker 4: Hal When I do breathing exercises, I like to inhale
Speaker 4: all my stress and give it one one last review,
Speaker 4: all the tension, feel it and all my body, and
Speaker 4: then I imagine myself blowing it all out and releasing
Speaker 4: it back into the universe, never to come back again.
Speaker 2: Ever. Hh that was nice. How are you? I am good? Yeah?
Speaker 2: How's your week so far?
Speaker 4: My week is good. I'm stressed out, but it's still good.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I'm learning to balance my stress levels. We've been really
Speaker 3: diving into work this week. It's only Wednesday, but for.
Speaker 4: Me, that always helps because even if I can't organize
Speaker 4: my other thoughts, at least other shit is happening, you know, Like, Okay,
Speaker 4: everything's a clusterfucked, but this is good.
Speaker 2: You've definitely been diving into work. We've been like workhorses.
Speaker 4: We've sent like fifteen emails, which is the maximum of
Speaker 4: emails we've ever sent.
Speaker 3: In forty eight hour period.
Speaker 2: Well, it's because we care so much about the content
Speaker 2: of the email, so we have to really take our
Speaker 2: time to curate each emails. They all are personalized and
Speaker 2: all those things hopefully come back to serve as well,
Speaker 2: which they have they have. Yeah.
Speaker 4: I think one of our themes this month, these last
Speaker 4: few months have been alignment. And it's strangely oddly, I
Speaker 4: know we say this a lot, or maybe we haven't.
Speaker 4: Everything aligns in the oddest way, Like we'll speak one
Speaker 4: person up and then literally like meet that person, we'll
Speaker 4: speak one thing up, and then like the perfect person
Speaker 4: to help collaborate with that just appears in our clutch.
Speaker 2: So it's almost like you know what. I think it
Speaker 2: started at the pool. Remember when we had those phone
Speaker 2: calls that came in and it was like crazy like the.
Speaker 4: Happening yeah and those yeah, And then we went to
Speaker 4: Coachella and Florence and the machine, right, the Florence machine,
Speaker 4: and even before the Florence and the machine, like the
Speaker 4: contact we wanted to make at the party.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, yeah, it's been quite it.
Speaker 4: It's been you know what, it's like God patting us
Speaker 4: on the shoulder and saying.
Speaker 2: You're on the right You're on the right path.
Speaker 3: See you see how this is working out.
Speaker 2: It's because you're on the right path.
Speaker 3: So that's cool.
Speaker 4: And I think when you were in your in the
Speaker 4: right space and doing what the universe will send you
Speaker 4: assurance that way, even the slightest ways. M h. Even
Speaker 4: with like with Mary with Coachella, Mary's our intern, y'all,
Speaker 4: Mary's our intern.
Speaker 3: Just so much, just so much things that so many things,
Speaker 3: so much things, so much thing, so much, so much.
Speaker 4: Like the mystic, the mystic of it all is this
Speaker 4: is just like kind of reminds me like the mystical
Speaker 4: magic part of life, you know it is. It is
Speaker 4: a story we are, we are creating in We are
Speaker 4: very much in control of that manifestation, so.
Speaker 2: That I'm happy about. Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 3: There's a whole list of ship that's not going right.
Speaker 4: The whole list of bills that need to be paid
Speaker 4: and ship, but overall, there's weed for that, and you know,
Speaker 4: there's manifestation for the rest and that's cool.
Speaker 3: What about you? What's been up this week?
Speaker 2: What's up?
Speaker 3: What did I do?
Speaker 2: I've just been chilling with Iri. I don't have her today.
Speaker 2: She's with her dad. Her dad's finally back in town,
Speaker 2: so now he has her. And I text Jamila last
Speaker 2: night because actually I went on It wasn't a date.
Speaker 2: It definitely was not a date. It was like a
Speaker 2: meet up catch up with Trembling lip Bay. So it
Speaker 2: was his lip trembling only trump in my mouth. So
Speaker 2: I don't know because that didn't happen.
Speaker 3: What do you mean, like his bottom lip, that's.
Speaker 2: Why he's trembling Lipay. Don't remember I kissed him and
Speaker 2: it was like vibrating in my mouth. Okay, anyway, if
Speaker 2: you don't, if you're just like catching up on the podcast,
Speaker 2: you didn't hear like the story of Trembling Lippey. He's
Speaker 2: a guy I met on Tinder.
Speaker 3: I think that's in the first episode.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's a guy I met on Tinder last year.
Speaker 2: One of my first like twinder tender experiences. We met
Speaker 2: at sun Dance in Utah, met on a mountain top
Speaker 2: because we were skiing. We connected. He met me. It
Speaker 2: was it was pretty incredible, Like we met, we skied
Speaker 2: all day, we made out, his lip trembled in my mouth,
Speaker 2: and we started dating for a while. We're no longer dating.
Speaker 2: That ended a long time ago last summer, but I
Speaker 2: haven't seen him in a while, and so Jamila randomly
Speaker 2: matched with one of his best friends on hinge and
Speaker 2: went on a date with him, and so they've been trying,
Speaker 2: they've we've been trying to like do like a double
Speaker 2: meetup situation, but it didn't happen. So last night I
Speaker 2: went to meet up with him and chat and catch up.
Speaker 3: And it was supposed to be a double date, but
Speaker 3: my day get stuck at work.
Speaker 2: I'm glad it was. I'm glad it was. I'm glad
Speaker 2: it happened the way it did because we haven't talked
Speaker 2: in a while and we caught up and it was cool.
Speaker 4: I kind of think that was his excuse to hang
Speaker 4: out with you, Like he was pitching for the double
Speaker 4: date because he thought like he needed like a reason
Speaker 4: to hang out with you.
Speaker 3: M clearly that's not true.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't really have I don't know, Like I
Speaker 2: was wondering, like what the what was going to be
Speaker 2: like when we met, Like Is it gonna be attraction?
Speaker 2: Is it going to be awkward? I'm not really, there's
Speaker 2: not really attraction.
Speaker 3: Even after like two tequilas, only because.
Speaker 2: I had been celibate for a month and I'm horny.
Speaker 2: But I had to like talk to myself, like dude,
Speaker 2: not It wasn't even like the opportunity to presented itself.
Speaker 2: But I guess I could have flirted more if I
Speaker 2: felt that way, but I just didn't feel like bad
Speaker 2: to do that. Yeah, and we just talked. I literally
Speaker 2: was like thank you because this was like the first
Speaker 2: person that I dated outside of my baby daddy, and
Speaker 2: like because of all of like the lies that happened
Speaker 2: in my last relationship, I was like psycho about transparency
Speaker 2: and he was totally down for it and gave me
Speaker 2: that was so transparent when we dated, Like anything I
Speaker 2: asked him, he would just tell me the truth.
Speaker 4: I think that's important after a long term relationship period
Speaker 4: because I think long term relationships cloud that.
Speaker 2: But the thing is important, But a lot of people
Speaker 2: can't do it, you know, or they say they can
Speaker 2: and they're like, oh, I don't know. He did that
Speaker 2: for me, and like I'm so grateful for that. Because
Speaker 2: it's like, really, it was a gift that you.
Speaker 3: Knew it could happen. It's real.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And you know, even when we stopped dating, he
Speaker 2: told me like, hey, I'm gonna start dating someone else
Speaker 2: more seriously. And we talked about that too. We talked
Speaker 2: about her and like what that was. And it's interesting
Speaker 2: to know now more so his thought process when it
Speaker 2: came to that. So he's now dating somebody different and
Speaker 2: their guests they're getting pretty serious and yeah, and he
Speaker 2: thanked me too, like, Yo, you really set the bar
Speaker 2: when it comes to communication and transparency. So that's what
Speaker 2: I did last night. I also got drunk somehow. I mean,
Speaker 2: we did take a shot and then I had a
Speaker 2: marg I had like two margarita's, and then we got
Speaker 2: to them. We went to sit at the bar towards
Speaker 2: the end, and then the bartender gave me another shot
Speaker 2: for free. When I got home, I masturbated.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then I opened her computer and it was
Speaker 3: on porn per the usual.
Speaker 2: And also apparently left my door open because this morning
Speaker 2: I woke up and my door was opened for this.
Speaker 4: First of all, she's the scariest bitch I know. If
Speaker 4: I come in the door knowing. I'm like, I'm five
Speaker 4: minutes away. And then I opened there. I was like,
Speaker 4: why did you just bust in?
Speaker 3: I'm like, bitch, you knew I was on my.
Speaker 2: Wife, but little like I heard the mailman and but
Speaker 2: it sounded like wee different the way he put the
Speaker 2: mail in, And it felt like a door opened, and
Speaker 2: I was like, what the fuck? It probably was light
Speaker 2: and then I opened the door. You know, I locked it.
Speaker 2: The door was locked, but open.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're drunk, Like what drunk is fine?
Speaker 2: Literally, someone just did walk in my house last night.
Speaker 2: It was crazy. So yeah, but.
Speaker 3: Did you put that on our story that you that
Speaker 3: you left your door on lock?
Speaker 4: Somebody wrote by the way, one night last summer, I
Speaker 4: woke up and my.
Speaker 3: Car was still on the driveway.
Speaker 4: Not sure what the fuck I was thinking, you're thinking
Speaker 4: tequila's which you were thinking.
Speaker 2: Apparently I was too funny.
Speaker 3: I've done that for sure, left my Yeah.
Speaker 2: Other than that, I've just been like trying to rest. Girl.
Speaker 2: I've been like, go go go go, go out of town,
Speaker 2: out of town, out of town, go go go. So
Speaker 2: I've just been at home. I've just been like not
Speaker 2: really wanting to go far places unless an uber is
Speaker 2: driving me there and.
Speaker 3: So I like, could be so fucking draining.
Speaker 2: I'm just happy to be home for more than like
Speaker 2: two weeks and just chilling.
Speaker 3: But we will be in New York at the end
Speaker 3: of the month.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're coming to New York May first. So when
Speaker 2: anyone wants to stay hang out, email us hang out
Speaker 2: or guide us to cool, cool spots let me know.
Speaker 2: I'm going out there also with my two friends, the Ashleys.
Speaker 2: Shout out to the Ashleys.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna do some cool podcast shot out there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're interviewing some good people out there. I'm so excited. Yes,
Speaker 2: particularly Philly for one of those people. Fingers crossed anyway.
Speaker 4: So news abortion, what the fuck is happening?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's the beginning. This is how it starts. Like
Speaker 2: little by little, they just start taking away your rights.
Speaker 2: I don't know if you guys saw in the news,
Speaker 2: but Alabama pretty much passed a pretty much all abortion
Speaker 2: band in Alabama. Basically, you can not get an abortion
Speaker 2: if you were raped, you can not get abortion in
Speaker 2: the cases of incest. A doctor who performs an abortion
Speaker 2: can get up to ninety nine years in prison.
Speaker 4: And in Georgia, if you get an abortion after this
Speaker 4: sixth week six week mark, then it's also a federal
Speaker 4: crime and there will be criminal charges against you.
Speaker 2: And if you go out of state, oh you get
Speaker 2: an abortion, you can also go to jail as well,
Speaker 2: because it's committing a criminal act. I don't remember what
Speaker 2: the term was, but what the fuck like six weeks?
Speaker 2: Like I didn't even know I was pregnant until like
Speaker 2: eight weeks snitch me either. I was at all types
Speaker 2: of shit right, Like, how what do you mean?
Speaker 4: I just think that overall, no government should put their
Speaker 4: hands in the pussy pot. It's not yours, pussy prell like,
Speaker 4: this has nothing to do with you. This vagina is
Speaker 4: handled things.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like are you taking care of my vagina three
Speaker 2: hundred and sixty five days of the year?
Speaker 3: And then did they.
Speaker 4: Not recall before you know, legal abortion, people were doing
Speaker 4: fucking easy shit hangar abortions and people were dying in
Speaker 4: back alleys. Girls were throwing their babies in the trash.
Speaker 4: So and I mean, it's fucked up, And what's the solution.
Speaker 4: What is your I'm curious as to what is the solution.
Speaker 3: You think people are going to be fucking less because
Speaker 3: that's not going to happen.
Speaker 2: Are you going to educate more people and like intraceptives,
Speaker 2: because you're not doing that either, especially taking away funding
Speaker 2: for like programs like Planned Parenthood. Who do that? Like,
Speaker 2: It's just I don't understand it.
Speaker 4: It's really scary, because shit, I had an abortion in
Speaker 4: high school, but I was like I got pregnant, I
Speaker 4: was like fifteen. I ended up over that period I
Speaker 4: turned sixteen, but you know, I went to Planned Parenthood
Speaker 4: and I didn't tell my mom. My mom ended up
Speaker 4: finding out the day of because I missed school and
Speaker 4: they called.
Speaker 2: But I can't imagine what the like.
Speaker 4: I had an abortioned in college too, Like I hardly
Speaker 4: equipped to raise the child I had when I was
Speaker 4: twenty six.
Speaker 3: So oh, I just can't imagine.
Speaker 4: Being forced legally to have have had those kids, you know, Like,
Speaker 4: and I don't think it should be used as a
Speaker 4: form of birth control by any means. However, I definitely
Speaker 4: don't think that this is a solution. I definitely, especially
Speaker 4: when they cut back even fund funding for education period,
Speaker 4: you know.
Speaker 3: So I think the government's getting fucked up.
Speaker 2: It's crazy that these men are making decisions for our bodies.
Speaker 4: I saw a meme that said, Uh, coming ejaculation is
Speaker 4: murder if you ejaculate that that's the point of conception.
Speaker 4: There's a life that you've you've made not able to
Speaker 4: come come to fruition.
Speaker 2: You've thrown away your children.
Speaker 3: So essentially you should go to fucking jail.
Speaker 2: Too, right, Yeah, Like why are we the ones that
Speaker 2: are criminalized.
Speaker 3: Because they can do it and all they gotta do
Speaker 3: is fucking nut.
Speaker 2: So the guy has no no, like there's no repercussions
Speaker 2: for him getting you pregnant. It's like takes two to tango,
Speaker 2: my mom managa, Like.
Speaker 3: I just want to know who are like the people.
Speaker 4: In the government and these towns that are still fighting
Speaker 4: for this.
Speaker 3: This shit has been.
Speaker 4: Long gone, Like who's still in the oppressing hard for
Speaker 4: you know, abortion is wrong, Like you need to not
Speaker 4: be in the government. First of all, I don't believe
Speaker 4: religion and government should be in the same pot. And
Speaker 4: I think a lot of the abstinence and there's a
Speaker 4: lot of religion about when the conception is equal as
Speaker 4: a child or you know, at what point it becomes
Speaker 4: a human. But I just I feel like it's still
Speaker 4: religiously rooted, and I don't think religion and politics go together.
Speaker 3: In any it's it's just barbaric.
Speaker 2: If whether your pro choice or pro life, whether you
Speaker 2: believe that you know, people should get abortions, or you
Speaker 2: believe what your beliefs are for yourself and your body,
Speaker 2: Like that's fine. When you start passing law to restrict
Speaker 2: people from doing things that, like, especially in the cases
Speaker 2: of like like, are you you're telling me that if
Speaker 2: I got raped, I have to have this baby? Like
Speaker 2: are you kidding? I didn't ask for this, you know
Speaker 2: what I mean? Like, that's that's crazy to me. That's
Speaker 2: crazy to me. How is that? How is that even?
Speaker 2: How did that pass? I don't understand.
Speaker 3: I want to know what when is it going to
Speaker 3: get appealed? How long is this gonna last?
Speaker 4: Is it going to continue? And if so, what a
Speaker 4: setback for women? I was just watching this Netflix movie
Speaker 4: about the Kennedy's, about the girl that drowned in the
Speaker 4: car with one of the Kennedys, And at the time,
Speaker 4: it's like the sixties, and women didn't really have a
Speaker 4: lot of rights, you know, they were just like, okay
Speaker 4: with my making decisions that I'm going to work, Like
Speaker 4: it was just that was and when women started pressing
Speaker 4: for rights. This woman was on camera saying she was like,
Speaker 4: we were just like, well, it's not broken, Like why
Speaker 4: are we making.
Speaker 2: A big ruckus?
Speaker 4: You know, but it's not broken, like saying the system
Speaker 4: wasn't broken. So what women started fighting for, like women's rights.
Speaker 4: It was kind of like a burning bras And they
Speaker 4: were like almost like why are you doing all this?
Speaker 4: You know, women were so used to being a certain position,
Speaker 4: And I'm just like, as enlightened and as far as
Speaker 4: we've come, how is it that we've been being pulled
Speaker 4: this far back.
Speaker 2: It's because those people are being empowered by the state
Speaker 2: of our politics right now.
Speaker 3: Right right, which is totally backwards.
Speaker 2: And I don't know, I don't understand what they have
Speaker 2: a lot of the passing of things is for agenda purposes,
Speaker 2: Like I just don't understand how. I'm wondering if there's
Speaker 2: some sort of bend they get to do they save
Speaker 2: money doing this?
Speaker 3: Oh, there's always some what is or is it?
Speaker 2: Or is it is it really about the money or
Speaker 2: is it actually just about appealing to a certain demographic,
Speaker 2: you know, to get other things passed. If I pass this,
Speaker 2: then I'll get voted next to you. Too, I'll stay
Speaker 2: I'll stay in my position. I'll stay in the seat
Speaker 2: because I voted for something that this is what they
Speaker 2: feel really strongly about. And then I'll get this other
Speaker 2: shit that I actually care about past because.
Speaker 3: I'll get funding for.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think it's that there's definitely an agenda. I
Speaker 4: don't think anything in politics is not.
Speaker 2: Of course, I'm just wondering if they're really monetarial, like
Speaker 2: are they gaining a lot substantial money by passing this line?
Speaker 3: Sure, if i'll go down like rabbit hole.
Speaker 2: Google grapple hole, we can find out. Yes, I don't know,
Speaker 2: it's it's so crazy, it's crazy. And then you know,
Speaker 2: also getting outside of the abortion thing, like just just
Speaker 2: the ship that people that people do and say about women,
Speaker 2: like the Ayisha Kuri thing.
Speaker 4: Like hers being like real about how she was expected,
Speaker 4: Like but did she say she's like, yeah, a part
Speaker 4: of me even though I know I'm beautiful, I know
Speaker 4: I'm you know that he's constantly getting female attention and
Speaker 4: sometimes I'm like, damn, am I not desirable?
Speaker 3: Do you guys not want to fuck me?
Speaker 4: And the basic niggas went nuts with their bullshit. There's
Speaker 4: lack of understanding for the English language, and like, is anybody.
Speaker 3: Not fucking hearing what she said?
Speaker 4: Sayings like if Ayisha's worried about guy's fucking her, there's
Speaker 4: no good women. Women ain't shit because Aisha, like because
Speaker 4: Ayisha is fucking not.
Speaker 2: Because Aisha wants to get fucked too. She's just like
Speaker 2: all these homes right right she no one of meme
Speaker 2: was like she.
Speaker 4: Has a you know, a millionaire husband, a Christian man,
Speaker 4: you know, three beautiful kids' she's married, what more can
Speaker 4: she ask for?
Speaker 3: And she just wants to get fucked by other guys.
Speaker 3: Bitches ain't shit.
Speaker 4: And I was just like, oh my god, men are
Speaker 4: so basic.
Speaker 2: You know, it's funny when she said that, it's I
Speaker 2: felt like I could relate to that, you know, dating
Speaker 2: like my baby daddy, Like other men just were like
Speaker 2: either scared of him, like Dade was like, they just
Speaker 2: didn't fuck with me even if there were, like I
Speaker 2: would find out later after like you know, no longer
Speaker 2: being with him out of respect for him, you know,
Speaker 2: and he they'd be like, you know, I've always liked you,
Speaker 2: I've always and I'm like, what, like, yeah, I flirted
Speaker 2: with you, and I'm like when and I think it's like,
Speaker 2: no one is going to flirt with Steph Curry's wife,
Speaker 2: do you know what I mean? Because they respect They
Speaker 2: respect him so much. He's the star player, he has
Speaker 2: all the money. Why would she want me? You know?
Speaker 2: I think it's that's really what it comes down to,
Speaker 2: the insecurity and the fake respect. You know.
Speaker 4: Okay, do you think do you think that women are
Speaker 4: generally more disrespectful in other people's relationships than men are?
Speaker 3: Period?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 3: Do you think that's just a sneaky bitch thing?
Speaker 2: I have to say unfortunately. And the reason I say that, yeah,
Speaker 2: because we've always been paired against each other more than
Speaker 2: men have.
Speaker 3: So we have that competition.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a competition. We have that. Even if you're
Speaker 2: the best bitch in the world, a great person, you
Speaker 2: can't tell me that you've never done.
Speaker 3: That and felt like ha ha done what like got
Speaker 3: somebody else's man?
Speaker 2: Just flirt someone that you knew you shouldn't be flirting with.
Speaker 2: That's taken that by another woman. Period. Every woman has
Speaker 2: done that. I don't give a fuck how nice or
Speaker 2: church going you are. It doesn't mean you're a bad person,
Speaker 2: but it's just it's kind of like.
Speaker 3: Like naughty, like something like something bad. So I think
Speaker 3: that I also think men definitely, But if you're asking.
Speaker 2: Who does it more, I would say I feel like women.
Speaker 3: That's a fucked up but it's probably true also.
Speaker 2: Because men also make you feel like you have to
Speaker 2: compete too write for them. They like that ship, so
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 3: Right whereas for a.
Speaker 2: Woman like That's what I'm saying, like between the abortioning,
Speaker 2: that's so backwards that ship. I'm like, are we progressing?
Speaker 3: Are we still here or not?
Speaker 2: But we're not though, because even the most I was like, seriously,
Speaker 2: some of the most woke people are so misogynistic, low
Speaker 2: key they don't even realize that, I know.
Speaker 5: Don't even one of those quote I hate this quote,
Speaker 5: like this word, but woke men. I'll have conversationships and
Speaker 5: I was like, oh wow, I thought you were so
Speaker 5: much smarter, but you're still so got to. I'm conditioned too,
Speaker 5: But it's funny how you could be so woke but
Speaker 5: in the same breath not half as much, Like you
Speaker 5: don't see us as human, like you really see us
Speaker 5: as different, you know, like in some ways you feel
Speaker 5: superior that I'm supposed to do certain things and if
Speaker 5: I do outside of that, then that makes me this.
Speaker 2: It's literally like misogynist's in hipster clothing. And then it's
Speaker 2: confusing because you're like, wait, wait is that.
Speaker 3: Youse so you look super like you do yoga?
Speaker 2: You say yoga, you call me a queen. You call
Speaker 2: me a queen, but like what but I'm but I'm
Speaker 2: a hope because I stuck with ten.
Speaker 3: Guys right, Oh my god, that shit.
Speaker 2: I don't want that type. You don't want to bring
Speaker 2: that type of girl home? And what It's so funny
Speaker 2: the things that men say. And I'd be like, little,
Speaker 2: do you know? I did all that shit and now
Speaker 2: you brought me home, right, you know?
Speaker 3: And you love it.
Speaker 2: You love it because it doesn't matter, It doesn't define
Speaker 2: who I am.
Speaker 3: Y life goes on.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just so strange.
Speaker 4: I know, this guy told me the other day that
Speaker 4: he's an alpha male and he doesn't want to date
Speaker 4: an alpha female like that does not work because he
Speaker 4: needs her to listen, like she doesn't want someone telling
Speaker 4: him what to do.
Speaker 2: That's like my dad.
Speaker 3: I mean, I think it's cool to though who you
Speaker 3: pair well with.
Speaker 2: But I think I mean, I can say the same thing.
Speaker 2: I know, I know, I'm cool with an alpha femle,
Speaker 2: but I do feel we are bound to butt heads.
Speaker 2: I've experienced it.
Speaker 3: And then don't you want an alpha male?
Speaker 2: I want like a mix of an empatha EmPATH EmPATH
Speaker 2: EmPATH EmPATH and an alpha like I need a like
Speaker 2: EmPATH doesn't mean not alpha. But like I said, if
Speaker 2: you're talking about the categories, that path is not on
Speaker 2: the category.
Speaker 3: It's like it was like alpha beta.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and the EmPATH is defined under Wait what's the episode.
Speaker 3: Of there's another one alpha?
Speaker 2: It's the other one that's beta. Was one is the
Speaker 2: one in the middle.
Speaker 3: But there's another one?
Speaker 2: I know?
Speaker 3: Fucksa?
Speaker 2: Okay, Wow, I don't have to google that. I don't
Speaker 2: have my phone. Wait why is that? Why? I can't
Speaker 2: I remember what it's called. We did have a lopposite
Speaker 2: on the mail versus five five? Are you looking it up? No?
Speaker 2: You're reading a sorry sorry what the.
Speaker 3: Direct?
Speaker 2: Reading a text message? Anyway? I guess.
Speaker 3: I guess all this is said, keep fighting, ladies.
Speaker 2: You've got a lot of work, a lot of work
Speaker 2: to do, guys. I don't I don't know what to
Speaker 2: say about any of that.
Speaker 3: Omega there's no omega.
Speaker 2: Wait is no, I don't think so to say alpha opposite.
Speaker 4: And I saw that Steph Curry came out and like
Speaker 4: supported her publicly because.
Speaker 3: He's, as he should, smart enough to know what the
Speaker 3: fuck she was saying.
Speaker 2: Okay, I don't know. I can't find it.
Speaker 3: So today's topic.
Speaker 2: Five ways to not be a psychopath when dating. We
Speaker 2: may or may not follow these five rules. They're interchangeable.
Speaker 2: No one's perfect. We're just saying you shouldn't this is
Speaker 2: what you shouldn't do. We're just saying if we were perfect,
Speaker 2: this is what we wouldn't do. This is what we
Speaker 2: would do or would not do.
Speaker 3: If you date, and.
Speaker 4: You commonly hear yourself being called crazy to acting too crazy,
Speaker 4: doing too much. Sometimes these niggas be wrong, but sometimes
Speaker 4: you're doing too.
Speaker 2: Much, so sometimes you're being extra.
Speaker 3: Here's are some couple of things. Let you know if
Speaker 3: you're doing too much.
Speaker 2: Oh, don't sleep with someone one time and then fall
Speaker 2: in love.
Speaker 3: Don't do it.
Speaker 2: Don't do that shit.
Speaker 3: It's only going to harm you, it's.
Speaker 2: Only going to confuse you because really you're not in love.
Speaker 2: Let's just be real. You just don't fall in love.
Speaker 2: I don't care how deep the connection was. It was
Speaker 2: so it was like the best I was best sex
Speaker 2: I've ever had. I'm in love. No, you're not, bitch,
Speaker 2: You're not in love.
Speaker 3: You're confused. You have sex.
Speaker 2: Brain digmatized, Yeah, digmatized and detoxing is what you need.
Speaker 2: You need a good detoxing. I've currently just started my detox,
Speaker 2: so if you'd like to join me, I'm day thirty
Speaker 2: in and Jimilla's almost six months in, which wow, I'm
Speaker 2: so proud of you. I have a long way to go,
Speaker 2: and I'm going crazy the last few days. I feel
Speaker 2: like a dog in heat.
Speaker 3: No literally that there's those spouts.
Speaker 2: I'm like why, I'm like, no, do I'm like do
Speaker 2: I want to do this? Why am I doing this?
Speaker 2: Fuck this shit? I don't need to do this. And
Speaker 2: then I'm like, wait, you need to do this? I
Speaker 2: think anyway, that's number one.
Speaker 4: Also, if you think, if you know you're the type
Speaker 4: of person that like cannot separate fake feelings from sex,
Speaker 4: don't have sex, you might enjoy the detox, you know,
Speaker 4: and we all could do it because I just think
Speaker 4: vaginally that's how it works. We get a little clouded
Speaker 4: because it's fun, and then you know.
Speaker 3: It didn't. Smoke settles.
Speaker 2: The smoke settles, we come up for air and.
Speaker 4: You're like, wait is this or yeah, then other things
Speaker 4: happen that you don't want to happen, and then you
Speaker 4: react a certain way because you've set yourself up from
Speaker 4: fulfilure from the beginning for fucking when you shouldn't have.
Speaker 2: So basically, don't.
Speaker 4: Have sex until you really know the person and you
Speaker 4: know you know, yeah, you're cool.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, So this is another one that's like so annoying, annoying.
Speaker 2: I don't do this.
Speaker 3: I don't do this yet.
Speaker 2: There's no way I do this, no way, but I
Speaker 2: know someone who's listening. Does this ship stop.
Speaker 4: If you text someone and they don't text you back,
Speaker 4: or you've asked a question, don't follow up with the
Speaker 4: question mark. Okay, that's so fucking annoying. If they saw
Speaker 4: this question, they miss.
Speaker 2: It, saw it, or they will see it, and they're
Speaker 2: also going to see that second question mark and immediately
Speaker 2: get annoyed.
Speaker 4: Definitely, don't continue to just have a conversation by yourself
Speaker 4: like oh, never mind, it's cool.
Speaker 2: Yeah, don't write that.
Speaker 3: Don't do that, Like sorry, if I was bothering you, Like.
Speaker 2: Oh sorry, if I was bothering you, that's so hard.
Speaker 2: Just go go type that shit in your notes if
Speaker 2: you need to get it out, but don't ever send it.
Speaker 3: Just like a yo, and then you know, then you wait.
Speaker 2: Or sometimes what I've had to do is not be crazy,
Speaker 2: is low key delete the whole text chain so they're
Speaker 2: not even in my messages. Have you ever done that
Speaker 2: you don't want to leave? I mean, it's hard because
Speaker 2: then you delete pictures and shit, so you have to
Speaker 2: really commit to it. No like this is it hate
Speaker 2: or take screenshots so you always have, but that sometimes
Speaker 2: is a good one. It's like, just delete that, just
Speaker 2: relate the whole thing. There's nothing there.
Speaker 4: To remind me I need to really shit anyway, because
Speaker 4: that'd be whole on the ship.
Speaker 2: That's kind of like deefcluttering your life. Your life, Like
Speaker 2: just like how you do spring cleaning your closet, you
Speaker 2: need to do spring cleaning your text messages and clear
Speaker 2: some shit out. I feel like it clears out any
Speaker 2: possibility of you going backwards to to go read some
Speaker 2: shit and revisit how you felt those feelings, because we
Speaker 2: do that shit. Okay, So that's number two. We probably
Speaker 2: have more than five. We have more than five. Oh
Speaker 2: so if you do spend the night going back to
Speaker 2: sleeping over and sleeping with people, Oh well we'll get
Speaker 2: to that too. Okay, if you do spend the night,
Speaker 2: don't overstay. You're welcome. Just leave, Just just leave or
Speaker 2: just feel it out, but don't overstay. Yeah, there's nothing
Speaker 2: worse than like someone not picking up on social cues.
Speaker 4: Yes, social cues or bit it's crucial that you realize
Speaker 4: if niggas shying to get rid of you. Crucial, crucial,
Speaker 4: like you know what it's time to go, you know,
Speaker 4: like you got to pick up on the vibe of things.
Speaker 3: Did he tell you to stay?
Speaker 2: And also you know, make him miss you a little bit?
Speaker 3: Yeah, sometimes you gotta go. Actually you should have gotta go.
Speaker 2: You should always gotta go. And until that niggas your nigga.
Speaker 2: Yeah right right, Yeah, I need to pick up. I
Speaker 2: need to work on that.
Speaker 3: May or may not.
Speaker 2: Need to work on that. No, I think I'm really
Speaker 2: good at knowing what social cues as far as like
Speaker 2: if he wants me to go or not. I'm not
Speaker 2: good at like walking away, walking away even if he
Speaker 2: does like if he does want me to stay, sometimes
Speaker 2: you still got to like go, do you know, get
Speaker 2: out of there?
Speaker 3: Yeah, it is. I think it is.
Speaker 6: It's funny and that it's not even necessarily a game.
Speaker 6: I think it's healthy for him to miss you.
Speaker 2: I think that space space creating space early on, so
Speaker 2: that you know, that's if you do get into a
Speaker 2: relationship with that person when you already understand like you're
Speaker 2: not going to get in one of those relationships where
Speaker 2: your friends never see you again.
Speaker 4: What happens with those relationships is you get in routine.
Speaker 4: He gets used to singing all the time, You get
Speaker 4: used to singing in the times. So anything that veers
Speaker 4: or shifts from that routine is feels strange, It feels violating,
Speaker 4: it feels like you've been left behind.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: But if you establish that independence in that space early
Speaker 4: on in a healthy manner, even though it's hard because
Speaker 4: you're in honeymoon phace, fight it super hard, it's important
Speaker 4: and it does make you miss each other a little
Speaker 4: bit more, and it does you know.
Speaker 3: The truth is it is like a little it's a
Speaker 3: it's a chase.
Speaker 4: We all less for the little bit of a chase,
Speaker 4: A little bit of the you know, so I think.
Speaker 2: It also kind of like eliminates all these expectations. You know,
Speaker 2: you expecting it's the weekend. What do you mean when
Speaker 2: I hang out right? Oh?
Speaker 3: Oh, I just thought because you were off at too. Yeah,
Speaker 3: you didn't tell me.
Speaker 2: He's been off of fork for since for like an hour.
Speaker 3: I don't understand what's going on.
Speaker 2: You broke that down really well. That was like I
Speaker 2: felt like I was in therapy right now. That was
Speaker 2: really good.
Speaker 3: I have been told that I should be a therapist.
Speaker 2: That was really good. So then there's fake Instagram accounts
Speaker 2: and Facebook accounts and just fake accounts, take emails.
Speaker 4: It's really fucked up with social media because there's too
Speaker 4: much access and if you don't have the same access,
Speaker 4: you're like wondering what the fuck is going on over there?
Speaker 3: You know, what the fuck is happening.
Speaker 4: So, you know, you find yourself the crazy part of yourself.
Speaker 4: It's all we all have a little bit of crazyiness.
Speaker 4: We've got a fighter, you know, like get out of here.
Speaker 4: And the part that says, like look on your friend's
Speaker 4: Instagram to look at his story to see what he's doing.
Speaker 3: That I'm able to see that you're looking at his story,
Speaker 3: or maybe create a secret fake account so.
Speaker 4: You can always see the story without having to go
Speaker 4: to your.
Speaker 2: It's like that very liberating, freely okay feeling.
Speaker 4: But when you when you can freely stop it, can
Speaker 4: it gets obsessive.
Speaker 3: Because I've done it.
Speaker 4: My friend gave me her passwords, so it's just freely stocking.
Speaker 4: So I didn't at least when I I could just
Speaker 4: look at my friend's phone. It's not all the time,
Speaker 4: but I don't always see that friend. I'm like, when
Speaker 4: I do stand, I'm like, oh, let me see, let
Speaker 4: me see your phone real click, let me see your
Speaker 4: secret account so I can go stock. But yes, putting
Speaker 4: a secret account on your own phone is very unhealthy
Speaker 4: for your mental help.
Speaker 3: Because sometimes you would if you see a.
Speaker 4: Chick and then it looks kind of close, but it
Speaker 4: also looks platonic.
Speaker 3: But what the fuck? Who the fuck is that?
Speaker 2: Oh is that?
Speaker 3: Then your mind starts doing crazy shit.
Speaker 2: Mm hmmmmmm hmmm. So so I'm I like, I've definitely,
Speaker 2: I definitely I could even currently have a secret Instagram.
Speaker 2: Did you see let me see? I don't. I haven't
Speaker 2: used it in a long time, but I did use
Speaker 2: it for like a week straight for once, and then
Speaker 2: I was like, I have to get off here, but
Speaker 2: so but I still didn't delete it, so it's still
Speaker 2: there just in case, you know, just in case.
Speaker 4: It's also unhealthy if you're not be like they're private
Speaker 4: and you don't follow them, but then you go on Facebook.
Speaker 3: If you find yourself a.
Speaker 4: Casion on faceicook, just to see if it's linked to
Speaker 4: their Instagram and then you can see what's going on.
Speaker 3: That's that could possibly be a little crazy too.
Speaker 2: I didn't even know that was an option, But that's
Speaker 2: good to know. I wonder where you picked that one up.
Speaker 3: This girl, I know crazy.
Speaker 2: Also, Yeah, it's just gonna ruin your day, and yeah,
Speaker 2: your whole day. You're literally also making up stories in
Speaker 2: your head.
Speaker 3: Okay, you will mope for no reason.
Speaker 2: You literally are actually making up stories. There might be
Speaker 2: truth in the stories, but you don't know all the truth.
Speaker 4: And it's probably not your business because it's not your
Speaker 4: man right right above all.
Speaker 2: And but that and going off of that, you know,
Speaker 2: don't put all your eggs in one basket.
Speaker 3: And this is a big one. This is a big one.
Speaker 2: Guys.
Speaker 4: I've always been told you gotta have some backup on
Speaker 4: the other burners, just because it's healthy.
Speaker 2: Especially if you're just in the dating phase and it's like,
Speaker 2: you know, you don't know what he's doing and unless
Speaker 2: you guys are talking about it and not lying to
Speaker 2: each other, you.
Speaker 3: Know, like don't assume and don't assume.
Speaker 2: Let's say you have to go and seek this out,
Speaker 2: like if you're gonna start dating, you must look also
Speaker 2: for other people. But like, don't be closed off to
Speaker 2: the to the to the possibility or the energy even
Speaker 2: you're out, don't be like I can't talk to you
Speaker 2: because don't do that shit because he's not doing that ship.
Speaker 4: And even though it's true, like I know because I
Speaker 4: joined Hine a couple of months ago, and like who
Speaker 4: it's a lot of.
Speaker 3: Energy, Like it's it's a very big distraction.
Speaker 4: It's almost I had to stop looking at it because
Speaker 4: it's too much energy.
Speaker 3: It's too much exchange, it's too much.
Speaker 4: Okay, now text me, okay, no, don't text like I'm
Speaker 4: gonna hang out, Like don't realize.
Speaker 3: This person looking back at the profile like I was sreferent.
Speaker 4: But so you don't have to like max out and
Speaker 4: do it intentionally, like you said, seeking it, but stay
Speaker 4: open and keep in mind to that person's pebbly also
Speaker 4: doing the same thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's something I've like because for me,
Speaker 2: I'm I'm so from so I guess addicted to being
Speaker 2: in relationships. I've always been back to back relationship that,
Speaker 2: especially and especially coming out of a relationship with I
Speaker 2: was in for so long and you know, finally like
Speaker 2: meeting someone that I'm like, oh my god, I feel
Speaker 2: feelings again. I have real feelings, right should I can
Speaker 2: still feel oh my god, I love you right like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, I do, oh my god, Let's just
Speaker 2: be together like that habit again. Like this one is
Speaker 2: when I've had to check myself on because of like
Speaker 2: the relationship that I am sharing with someone right now,
Speaker 2: but also knowing that we're not together.
Speaker 4: Well, you know what it is, it's hard to want
Speaker 4: to hang out with someone else.
Speaker 3: When you really like one person. Yeah, I don't really
Speaker 3: want to hang out with anybody else.
Speaker 4: Because you're the funnest like stupid, but at this think, Yeah,
Speaker 4: I just think it's I just think.
Speaker 3: It's healthy to try. Yeah, I think to enjoy others.
Speaker 2: I think so too.
Speaker 4: Unless you're not crazy and you can understand that. You know,
Speaker 4: it doesn't mean you're exclusive.
Speaker 2: And it doesn't like it doesn't mean it's like how
Speaker 2: to say, dimming or making whatever you share with the
Speaker 2: person that you really like the most currently, And it
Speaker 2: doesn't mean like you're like shitting on that relationship. It
Speaker 2: just means like you're.
Speaker 4: Still fostering the other relationships that maybe you were you
Speaker 4: had before.
Speaker 2: You met that person. Yeah, unless you guys have agreed
Speaker 2: that we're working towards being in a relationship, then than fine.
Speaker 3: These rules are.
Speaker 4: For more like early on dating or after dating, or
Speaker 4: if you're not together and have them dinner, you're not
Speaker 4: going to be Yeah.
Speaker 2: The next thing I would say is, don't keep going
Speaker 2: out of your way if they don't women.
Speaker 3: Ladies go out of your way period, ladies.
Speaker 2: And we are nurturers by nature. We want to give,
Speaker 2: we want to show up, we want to support what
Speaker 2: we want. We want what we want, what we want it.
Speaker 2: But you don't be real, because then that's why you
Speaker 2: get disappointed, because damn i'd throw like me, I've driven
Speaker 2: every day down to see you. And then they get
Speaker 2: used to that shit and they don't feel like they
Speaker 2: have to anymore. They don't feel like they have to
Speaker 2: because you've made it so easy for them that you like,
Speaker 2: these are habits that you're building within your relationship before
Speaker 2: it's even a relationship, you know, and it's like you
Speaker 2: have to just you gotta make them work for it too.
Speaker 4: Just don't overgive, because it sometimes slaps you in the face.
Speaker 2: And just because you're over sometimes I think we overgive
Speaker 2: with the hope. But maybe if I just do this,
Speaker 2: don't want to be with and they want to they
Speaker 2: want to be with me.
Speaker 3: I want to be with you.
Speaker 2: They'll see how amazing I am and hot, I'm a writer.
Speaker 2: I'm down.
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, no, fuck no, that's not how men. Oh
Speaker 3: my god, I've had my heart broken this.
Speaker 2: Way, Like that's not how they think.
Speaker 3: Sitting somewhere like I'm so dumb. Why did they do this?
Speaker 2: Yeah, keep your schedule that you have to, just whatever
Speaker 2: you had plan. Don't derail all of your plans to
Speaker 2: go hang out with someone. Okay, you're gonna do that
Speaker 2: sometimes that's fine, but don't make that shit a fucking habit.
Speaker 2: You know, Like every time this person calls, you.
Speaker 3: Come running, You come running.
Speaker 2: Plans canceled, like oh nope, we're not doing that anymore. Oh,
Speaker 2: let's hurt. Yep, we gotta go, you know, like, don't
Speaker 2: do that, just don't m m because they're not doing
Speaker 2: that ship for you. Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 3: I'm just thinking about all.
Speaker 2: The times you've done that.
Speaker 3: Yes, oh my god, all the time I'm doing it.
Speaker 2: I still I'm right now, I'm in a phase right
Speaker 2: now of undoing that right now because I was so
Speaker 2: I'm so like I care about this person that I'm
Speaker 2: dating so much, and like we do have a connection
Speaker 2: that like is unlike any I don't care. How is no?
Speaker 2: I know you're right, but it's like but that. But
Speaker 2: but girl, when you're in it, you know you feel
Speaker 2: the same way. Oh I know. You know literally it's
Speaker 2: so easy to like say it to someone else because
Speaker 2: even it's easy for me to say it to you.
Speaker 2: You know, you're going to go drive up north.
Speaker 3: For the same person who shitted it on me like bad.
Speaker 2: Right, And it's like same with me, like you know,
Speaker 2: making all the effort to go see this person all
Speaker 2: the time when I'm the one with a child, when
Speaker 2: I'm the one that you know, maybe like I don't know,
Speaker 2: there's just not a balance and a lot of it's
Speaker 2: my fault because I'm the one that's been like, well,
Speaker 2: I just come down there. I'll just go down there.
Speaker 2: I have the friends there, like finding my finding excuses
Speaker 2: to be down there like a crazy person too, like hey,
Speaker 2: I'm just down here, just over here.
Speaker 3: I love the dirty home.
Speaker 2: I found myself downtown And what are you doing available? Okay,
Speaker 2: that's fine, but I guess I'll stick around around, eat something. Yeah, work,
Speaker 2: But it's hard. That one's really hard, I think, I
Speaker 2: think especially for women, because we've been actually conditioned to
Speaker 2: feeling like we have to take. The more we show
Speaker 2: someone we can take care of them, that makes us
Speaker 2: worthy of love, worthy of attention, right showing you that
Speaker 2: I'm I'm a nurture. I'm a nurture that I can
Speaker 2: take care of you. I can take care of anything.
Speaker 2: I'll bend backwards for you like it's yeah.
Speaker 4: Like, which goes back to keeping your schedule and oh okay,
Speaker 4: So from one of our I can can maybe consider.
Speaker 3: This a dating bible of all time.
Speaker 4: I really encourage anyone to pick it up and just
Speaker 4: keep it in their back pocket. It's called Why Men
Speaker 4: Love Bitches. Just honestly the Bible of all bibles on dating,
Speaker 4: and I really believe in sticking by it.
Speaker 3: And one of the things she says, because wow, she keeps.
Speaker 4: It really real, a literary mass a literary fucking masterpiece.
Speaker 4: And I think one of the chapters goes something like this,
Speaker 4: don't even don't even cook. Don't make them even popcorn,
Speaker 4: maybe popcorn, you know, like, don't be making meals. Don't
Speaker 4: be like, don't get them used to nothing, because that's
Speaker 4: that's a giving in a relationship sense, if you're just
Speaker 4: dating a motherfucker, honestly, like, give them bare minimum because
Speaker 4: you want them to want more. And that's why maybe
Speaker 4: some chips you may be so And I think she says,
Speaker 4: throw the chips at them.
Speaker 3: It's not even like in a bowl.
Speaker 4: Yeah, she says, don't even put the shit in a
Speaker 4: bowl like a bag will do, or else you're taking
Speaker 4: me out. And again, it's not these these it's not
Speaker 4: really the rules, but it's the way you have to
Speaker 4: speak to men because they're slow, you know, there's only
Speaker 4: certain things.
Speaker 2: See. But then I feel like the woman who is
Speaker 2: listening to this that literally can't imagine throwing a bag
Speaker 2: of chips that a man is thinking. But then I'm not
Speaker 2: wifey material.
Speaker 4: Right, and he needs to know that we're not here
Speaker 4: to convince you we're wifey material. When it's time for
Speaker 4: you to get girlfriend material level, package will graduate to there.
Speaker 4: But until then, I'm not treating you like I'm you're
Speaker 4: my man, and you're not. And I think that's the
Speaker 4: huge misconception. Maybe if I act like a girlfriend up
Speaker 4: and then I'll graduate to girlfriend material girlfriend level, but
Speaker 4: that rarely happens because you will stay.
Speaker 2: At this because you've already given away the milk for free. Essentially,
Speaker 2: why by the cow?
Speaker 3: Why by the cow?
Speaker 4: And I know that's the oldest one in the book,
Speaker 4: but it's true. That is one of the biggest nuggets
Speaker 4: of the book, along with so many I'm gonna have
Speaker 4: to highlight and say a smile.
Speaker 2: It's so true. And I'm guilty of that too, Like
Speaker 2: not even it's not even so that I would like,
Speaker 2: it's not for the purpose of like, then make me
Speaker 2: your girlfriend. It's just like, I'm a nurturer by nature.
Speaker 2: I like to take care of people, and I really
Speaker 2: like you, and yeah, I do. I like to take
Speaker 2: care of people.
Speaker 4: But it's like, but what is that I want you
Speaker 4: to like me, so I like to take care of
Speaker 4: you or no, I do like taking care of you people.
Speaker 2: But I just have always felt like in relationships somehow
Speaker 2: I was disappointed because they weren't. It wasn't that it
Speaker 2: doesdn't seem like it was reciprocated in the way that
Speaker 2: I thought it should be because of what I was doing.
Speaker 2: And now that I'm not in a relationship, obviously those
Speaker 2: habits have appeared again. But I'm trying really hard to
Speaker 2: check them now, even in the relationship air quotes that
Speaker 2: I'm in right now, because I've already started to set
Speaker 2: this this like routine of I'll go to you, I'll
Speaker 2: do this, I like to give you things and like,
Speaker 2: you know, like when I'm traveling, I'm thoughtful, and then
Speaker 2: if it's not reciprocated, I'm disappointed. But the only person
Speaker 2: to blame is myself.
Speaker 3: Because you have some sort of expectation.
Speaker 2: I have expectation. But also I did everything like I
Speaker 2: never made it have to, you know, like now that
Speaker 2: I'm saying, okay, I really don't feel like driving there anymore.
Speaker 2: Now I'm really going to see how much this person
Speaker 2: actually wants to hang out with me, or if we
Speaker 2: hang out out of convenience and this or he hangs
Speaker 2: out with me out of convenience, not because not even
Speaker 2: out of convenience, Like I'm there's a love there for sure, undeniable,
Speaker 2: but like how strong is it? Is it because of
Speaker 2: the convenience of it? Or like will you what else do?
Speaker 2: What are you willing to do? Well?
Speaker 4: That brings us to another one, which is a huge one.
Speaker 4: I mean, I always say, don't have expectations of people.
Speaker 4: That's the number one that's the number one way to
Speaker 4: be disappointed. You will you will be disappointed having expectations, period.
Speaker 3: But I think the biggest.
Speaker 4: One is, like you said, is uh really really paying
Speaker 4: attention to actions and not words? Actions? Actions? What is
Speaker 4: this person doing? I know it feels like this, it
Speaker 4: feels like love. This feels like love, but what are
Speaker 4: the what are the actions showing?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 3: Because that shit's pretty flucking.
Speaker 2: That's so It's crazy how some talk can make you
Speaker 2: forget about some actions. Like you can be mad about
Speaker 2: some shit and then they'll talk you, like talk you down,
Speaker 2: like and like make you feel chill about it, like okay,
Speaker 2: all right, Like maybe he's right, Like well he said
Speaker 2: he's gonna start doing that, and then like that that
Speaker 2: that holds on. You hold on to that for like
Speaker 2: a few days, and then it pops up again, and
Speaker 2: then the conversation happens again. It's just I feel like
Speaker 2: ladies don't ignore the actions. It's so hard because you
Speaker 2: want to get people. You want to believe that, oh
Speaker 2: it's just that one time, or you know, it's it's fine,
Speaker 2: I can deal with it.
Speaker 3: Maybe I always tripping.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, you weren't tripping. Another one is this is
Speaker 2: our last one? Yeah, our last one, which is probably
Speaker 2: it's really important and really really really annoying.
Speaker 3: Really annoying, really immature, and please don't do this.
Speaker 2: Social media subliminals. No, social media subliminals.
Speaker 4: Do not socially subliminally talk shit. It's so dumb.
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 4: The quotes, the quotes. First of all, everybody knows you're
Speaker 4: going through something.
Speaker 2: The Maya Angela quote, Oh my god, there's so many
Speaker 2: good ones. Or the rap versus yeah, the rat verst captions, memes,
Speaker 2: all of them.
Speaker 3: Don't do it, don't give it a week or two.
Speaker 2: Just calm down and then come back and think about it.
Speaker 3: Right, yeah, because it's just it's so obvious.
Speaker 4: Just text just tell them, Yeah, just pick up the
Speaker 4: phone because type of bitch I am.
Speaker 3: If you're going to say something, just call me because
Speaker 3: that's what I'm going to do for you.
Speaker 2: Have people put up people put up social subliminals.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: It's so stupid, so dumb.
Speaker 3: Yeah for sure.
Speaker 2: Have you ever put up a social media subliminal? Oh?
Speaker 3: For sure? Definitely.
Speaker 2: One hundred is also for me to tell myself stop
Speaker 2: doing that ship bitch. That's don't be lame.
Speaker 3: Have I No, I'm sure I have, ah for sure.
Speaker 2: Also a lot of the social because I do post
Speaker 2: a lot of quotes and stuff. They're really reminders.
Speaker 3: To my right be better note to sell.
Speaker 2: Reminders for myself. But those are the five to eight
Speaker 2: ways to not be a psycho when dating. I hope
Speaker 2: this resonates with you like it is with.
Speaker 4: Me, because this was motivated by one of our advice
Speaker 4: questions and our DMS.
Speaker 3: Well, it wasn't motivated. This is just something all people
Speaker 3: need to know.
Speaker 4: But she said, how long should it take you to
Speaker 4: get over an X?
Speaker 3: We said, bitch, we don't know.
Speaker 2: I read that it's double I half the time you
Speaker 2: were together. So if you were together for someone for
Speaker 2: four years, don take two years to get over that month.
Speaker 2: It's math equation. Everybody knows. Everybody knows basically three point
Speaker 2: five years to go. Well, no, it's almost been two years.
Speaker 2: It would be two years in September. Crazy that it's
Speaker 2: almost been two years. I was thinking about that, like, wow,
Speaker 2: like two years have gone by to think about like
Speaker 2: where I was two years ago to now. I mean
Speaker 2: I'm still irritated, which so that maybe goes and falls
Speaker 2: in line with this three and a half year thing.
Speaker 2: Maybe I feel like in by three and a half,
Speaker 2: like it'll be totally cool, cool, So maybe I feel
Speaker 2: like that there is some truth in it. And it's
Speaker 2: not even that I'm not over him.
Speaker 3: It's like, wait, so you're on two years, not three
Speaker 3: and a half.
Speaker 2: I'm two and a half okay, So no I'm not.
Speaker 2: I'm almost two okay, And three and a half would
Speaker 2: be the amount of time divided divided by seven, right,
Speaker 2: yea two divided by seven Yeah, three and a half,
Speaker 2: got it. It's just crazy to think about how time
Speaker 2: passes in that way, how you're with someone for so
Speaker 2: long and then like it's over.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's funny how we just have periods and chapters
Speaker 4: of our lives, of friendships, of states we've lived, just
Speaker 4: like when things were so normal, that was such a
Speaker 4: routine and and now you're here.
Speaker 2: You know. When I found that picture under my bed,
Speaker 2: I was cleaning out under my bed and I found
Speaker 2: this photo of me and my baby Daddy was like
Speaker 2: the first photo we ever took at the do over,
Speaker 2: like a thousand years ago, and I was looking at
Speaker 2: us and thinking about like how we felt about each
Speaker 2: other in that picture, you know, and it was the
Speaker 2: beginning of our relationship. Like everything, there was nothing between us.
Speaker 2: There was no history, there was no disappointment, there was
Speaker 2: no baby, there was no fucking all of it, you know,
Speaker 2: And I'm like, wow, something beautiful in that though, right,
Speaker 2: you know, to see the journey of like that picture
Speaker 2: till now. And it's not like it's a bad journey.
Speaker 2: It's just we're in a weird place. And I'm sure
Speaker 2: in like fifteen years, I'll think about this moment that
Speaker 2: we're in now and it'll be different then too, right.
Speaker 3: So it's just good always I'll be connected.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I have no choice of a kid exactly.
Speaker 4: All right, Well, that concludes our show for today, Happy
Speaker 4: hump Day, Happy hump day.
Speaker 3: Oh, happy masturbation month.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, it's always masturbation month for me.
Speaker 3: We know. Little rabbit over.
Speaker 2: Here Chamila opened up my computer and saw the porn
Speaker 2: I was watching. But I wasn't actually watching that porn,
Speaker 2: and it was like really embarrassing.
Speaker 3: It was big booty white girl porn.
Speaker 2: I wasn't looking for that. I was looking What was
Speaker 2: I looking for?
Speaker 4: I was on gang Bros, Big booty white Girls.
Speaker 2: Bang Bros.
Speaker 3: Sorry what did I say? Gang Bro Bang Bros, Big
Speaker 3: booty white girls? Like, oh, is this the porn you search?
Speaker 3: Sometimes I do search that porn because.
Speaker 2: I like Alexis Texas and she but apparently she said
Speaker 2: some racist shit, so her now no Texas, Texas. And
Speaker 2: she used to live in my building downtown too. The
Speaker 2: porn stars are racist? Great, Yeah, she's big booty white
Speaker 2: girl that has sex with sometimes black guys. But I
Speaker 2: guess she doesn't well that's what it was. She doesn't
Speaker 2: like to have sex with black guys anymore.
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 3: Anyway, is that offensive?
Speaker 2: Should I share my like porn playlist with people? They'll
Speaker 2: be nice? You know. I subscribe to the newsletter that
Speaker 2: would be a gonna do.
Speaker 4: You should subscribe to the newsletter. We just we're doing
Speaker 4: some cool ship over there. Yeah, we're doing secret meetups,
Speaker 4: we're doing some keep in touch.
Speaker 3: We're spilling a lot of ship secretly, and.
Speaker 2: Yeah we are. We just, yeah, we have this newsletter
Speaker 2: that you know, you get to know us a little,
Speaker 2: even more intimately than maybe we reveal here on the pod.
Speaker 3: If you can imagine, Yeah, how much deeper can you go? Right?
Speaker 4: Okay, back to Lexix Texas not wanting the black guys anymore?
Speaker 2: Dude, that's racist.
Speaker 4: I have some friends, white friends who are like, I
Speaker 4: don't I don't do black guys, and I'm like, cool,
Speaker 4: it doesn't bother me.
Speaker 2: I go, I don't know. I think maybe it was because.
Speaker 7: It's porn, Like how dare you have a cutoff? Like
Speaker 7: how like I don't know, I don't, I don't know.
Speaker 7: I guess you're right, I mean, like why, like right,
Speaker 7: like why did she probably likes black people? She just
Speaker 7: might not don't want to fuck black guys?
Speaker 2: More power to me, more for me. Actually, I don't
Speaker 2: want to fuck an Well that's not true.
Speaker 3: You don't want to fuck anyone.
Speaker 2: I was saying. I don't know if I want to
Speaker 2: suck a porn star. But it's not it's not like
Speaker 2: in the car. It's like not on my radar.
Speaker 7: But you know, if it happened, maybe I've definitely fucked
Speaker 7: a porn star.
Speaker 3: I already said that, like twenty times. I'm very proud.
Speaker 3: There may be one or two others.
Speaker 2: Was it? Was it like porn? Was it like as
Speaker 2: good as was it one? Some of the best sex
Speaker 2: you've had? Yeah?
Speaker 6: For sure, he has gray sex. So he lived up
Speaker 6: to his expectation of the expectations because sometimes see porn stars,
Speaker 6: I'm like, I have no desire to have sex with you.
Speaker 6: You you do all that fucking and you still funck bad.
Speaker 4: No, he's really good. And I fucked him for a
Speaker 4: long time and it consistently was good. But he's not
Speaker 4: a good kisser. And exactly you.
Speaker 2: Never had to do that blast like the last thing
Speaker 2: on his agenda.
Speaker 3: But I made out with a porn star recently and
Speaker 3: it was nice you did? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Oh female or male?
Speaker 3: Male? Anyway, we are going to say one more thing,
Speaker 3: corn racism.
Speaker 2: Where was I going with?
Speaker 3: Slipped my mind?
Speaker 2: All right, well, we shall catch you next week, y'all.
Speaker 2: Have a good week, eddie us do that breathing every morning?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: They call happy happy day. Baby, you call call hock call, can.
Speaker 2: You call call Happy happy day?
Speaker 5: Tell me do you think a man
Speaker 3: You as well