WEBVTT - Sex/Life Balance 0:00:01.920 --> 0:00:05.359 Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio podcast. 0:00:06.920 --> 0:00:10.120 Guys, were official, We've got a sign on the back 0:00:10.160 --> 0:00:10.680 of the wall. 0:00:11.640 --> 0:00:15.720 Yeah, it's official. It only took like how many years 0:00:15.760 --> 0:00:16.800 have I been doing this podcast? 0:00:17.920 --> 0:00:19.560 I'm like, so would take a lifetime. 0:00:19.600 --> 0:00:19.759 I know. 0:00:19.800 --> 0:00:21.400 I'm like, I just wanted to be I just wanted 0:00:21.440 --> 0:00:24.119 to look official. It's like I walk in and I 0:00:24.200 --> 0:00:24.800 just like stare it. 0:00:24.960 --> 0:00:27.200 I'm like, cool, It's like. 0:00:27.720 --> 0:00:30.440 It looks like a talk show set now right. 0:00:31.080 --> 0:00:32.879 That'd be like a dream. I want to have my 0:00:32.920 --> 0:00:34.600 own talk show one day. 0:00:34.920 --> 0:00:40.840 Well, manifested, I just did. Okay, there it is, Mark. 0:00:40.880 --> 0:00:41.440 How are you doing? 0:00:41.920 --> 0:00:42.360 I'm great? 0:00:42.360 --> 0:00:42.760 How are you? 0:00:45.240 --> 0:00:45.920 How am I today? 0:00:45.960 --> 0:00:48.120 I'm like, that's what I've been wondering. I've been trying 0:00:48.120 --> 0:00:49.879 to figure that out for the last five minutes since 0:00:49.880 --> 0:00:52.120 I've been here. Yeah, Catherine goes, would you say to 0:00:52.120 --> 0:00:53.040 me you okay? 0:00:55.160 --> 0:00:57.760 I think I'm yeah, and I'm like, you look stressed. 0:00:57.800 --> 0:00:58.960 Oh yeah, no, I'm stressed. 0:01:00.040 --> 0:01:03.000 I'm a little stressed because I did something that I 0:01:03.000 --> 0:01:03.800 shouldn't have done. 0:01:03.960 --> 0:01:05.240 I knew there was something. 0:01:06.040 --> 0:01:07.160 No, it's the school thing. 0:01:07.520 --> 0:01:08.000 Oh that. 0:01:10.800 --> 0:01:12.880 Yeah, my mind went elsewhere too. 0:01:12.920 --> 0:01:16.040 But okay, what did you guys think I did. 0:01:17.520 --> 0:01:18.920 I don't know what I can say and what I 0:01:18.959 --> 0:01:20.920 can't say, but there's a whole bunch of stuff. And 0:01:20.959 --> 0:01:23.200 then media again this morning, and there is. 0:01:24.600 --> 0:01:29.880 Hopefully you're you're lying, Mark. I don't look at these things. 0:01:29.920 --> 0:01:30.920 I told you, I don't. 0:01:31.880 --> 0:01:34.360 I just there's a picture and I noticed the picture 0:01:34.560 --> 0:01:36.600 and had a reaction to the picture. 0:01:37.959 --> 0:01:43.039 Yeah, oh I think I saw that. 0:01:43.160 --> 0:01:45.480 I didn't see that. Nope, came out fifty ten minutes ago. 0:01:46.560 --> 0:01:47.440 I did not see that. 0:01:48.240 --> 0:01:50.600 Wow, well oh that yeah. 0:01:50.560 --> 0:01:54.040 Oh wow, we're here now. 0:01:55.560 --> 0:01:57.680 I just got really sweaty. Now I want to puke 0:02:00.440 --> 0:02:02.600 yet even either, but you know, it's really messed up. 0:02:02.600 --> 0:02:04.280 As my ex was there the same night and the 0:02:04.280 --> 0:02:06.440 photographer tried to get a picture with all three of us, 0:02:06.480 --> 0:02:06.880 and I was. 0:02:06.800 --> 0:02:08.480 Like no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 0:02:08.800 --> 0:02:11.360 Nice try and everyone kind of started laughing, but I 0:02:11.400 --> 0:02:17.480 was like, not happening, No no, no, yeah, no, I 0:02:17.480 --> 0:02:19.640 mean yes, obviously we were at the same place, and 0:02:19.960 --> 0:02:23.720 when the photographer came, I just was like, and then 0:02:24.520 --> 0:02:28.400 we were all just took a photo, but going to 0:02:28.400 --> 0:02:33.560 be there. I had a feeling and yeah, that was 0:02:33.840 --> 0:02:35.160 I will I will say that was a really that 0:02:35.240 --> 0:02:37.520 that was really hard to see him there, but seeing 0:02:37.600 --> 0:02:40.919 him like flirt with other girls and I mean granted 0:02:40.960 --> 0:02:44.440 I was there as well, you know, do nothing, but 0:02:45.800 --> 0:02:46.760 I it. 0:02:46.680 --> 0:02:48.160 Was that was really it was really it was hard. 0:02:48.200 --> 0:02:50.000 It was it was really you know what it was hard. 0:02:50.120 --> 0:02:53.959 It was like it was it looks so easy for him. 0:02:54.120 --> 0:02:54.840 Does that make sense? 0:02:55.240 --> 0:02:57.400 M h makes sense? 0:02:57.960 --> 0:03:00.200 Yeah, where it's like he didn't look like a bothered 0:03:00.280 --> 0:03:03.720 him one second, and that like hurt, you know, because 0:03:03.760 --> 0:03:04.120 I was like. 0:03:04.080 --> 0:03:07.720 What's he's just untamed and on caged and he's happy. 0:03:08.760 --> 0:03:11.040 I know when you're there. It's weird to be untamed 0:03:11.040 --> 0:03:14.239 and on cage and knowing you're there. That seems I 0:03:14.320 --> 0:03:15.760 don't know, that seems weird to me. 0:03:16.080 --> 0:03:18.959 Yeah, I think I don't know. I think he's just 0:03:19.000 --> 0:03:21.600 trying to cover it up and not show it. 0:03:21.800 --> 0:03:22.720 I don't see. I don't know. 0:03:22.720 --> 0:03:25.200 I think, you know, you know, unfortunately there was boundaries 0:03:25.200 --> 0:03:28.240 around certain things and that he held a lot of 0:03:28.240 --> 0:03:30.720 resentment against me. But I'm like, well, when things happened 0:03:31.000 --> 0:03:33.760 repeatedly at certain places, it's very hard for me to 0:03:33.800 --> 0:03:38.800 trust when you go out and do those things. So 0:03:38.920 --> 0:03:41.520 I can totally see him being like finally I get 0:03:41.520 --> 0:03:43.040 to like go out and drink and be at a 0:03:43.040 --> 0:03:44.320 bar and like same. 0:03:44.480 --> 0:03:44.680 Yeah. 0:03:44.720 --> 0:03:46.800 I mean, so I like enjoying his best life for sure. 0:03:47.200 --> 0:03:47.720 Yeah. 0:03:48.000 --> 0:03:52.000 And and so that was you know, and then again 0:03:52.120 --> 0:03:54.120 just like seeing him like with other women, I'm like, 0:03:54.240 --> 0:03:54.760 is that going to. 0:03:54.680 --> 0:03:57.840 Be the future? You know, one with my kids? Like 0:03:57.880 --> 0:03:58.520 that's where I go. 0:04:00.200 --> 0:04:02.240 But yeah, I mean just to see like him be 0:04:02.360 --> 0:04:05.200 so like happy and not bothered by it at all. I 0:04:05.200 --> 0:04:07.280 mean we had actually we talked. I was like, this 0:04:07.320 --> 0:04:08.560 is awkward, and he's like. 0:04:08.520 --> 0:04:09.000 Not at all. 0:04:09.080 --> 0:04:11.640 And I was like, oh, okay, Like I'm glad that 0:04:11.720 --> 0:04:13.160 he was like fine with it. But at the same time, 0:04:13.200 --> 0:04:15.160 I was like I talked to my therapist about it. 0:04:15.280 --> 0:04:16.920 I was like, just a little piece of me was 0:04:16.960 --> 0:04:18.960 kind of like it would have been nice to be like, yeah, 0:04:19.000 --> 0:04:20.480 this this is this is hard, but I'm glad we 0:04:20.520 --> 0:04:22.880 can be cordial. That's just like acknowledgement that like it 0:04:22.960 --> 0:04:23.840 might hurt a little bit. 0:04:24.040 --> 0:04:28.719 I don't know, yo, could he be really trying to 0:04:28.760 --> 0:04:31.080 go overboard to make it seem like he is fine 0:04:31.160 --> 0:04:33.680 because he's hurting and he doesn't want to show anybody that, 0:04:33.800 --> 0:04:36.760 so he just wants to be like show just act, 0:04:36.960 --> 0:04:40.119 just act like everything is totally fine because I'm fine. 0:04:40.120 --> 0:04:41.440 I want everyone to know I'm fine. 0:04:41.720 --> 0:04:44.000 Oh yeah, I could see doing that if it were. 0:04:43.880 --> 0:04:46.000 Me, Like I need to let her know that I'm 0:04:46.040 --> 0:04:48.560 fine and nothing about this bothers me. 0:04:50.160 --> 0:04:52.360 And I get that, like I mean, and I'm I'm 0:04:52.880 --> 0:04:53.840 It was so strange. 0:04:53.839 --> 0:04:54.000 I was. 0:04:54.160 --> 0:04:56.440 I was talking to my therapists about it the other day. 0:04:57.440 --> 0:05:00.200 I was like, I just what kept coming to my 0:05:00.240 --> 0:05:02.919 mind was how did I get here? How is my 0:05:03.040 --> 0:05:08.080 ex husband across the room and like this and like 0:05:08.240 --> 0:05:10.240 seeing I'm like how did I get here? Like this 0:05:10.360 --> 0:05:12.240 was like that. It wasn't that I wanted to be 0:05:12.320 --> 0:05:15.159 next to him. It's not that I wanted it's not 0:05:15.200 --> 0:05:17.880 even that I still have feelings like none of those 0:05:17.920 --> 0:05:19.640 things are that because I don't want to be back 0:05:19.680 --> 0:05:23.039 in that relationship that was a bad, toxic relationship, but 0:05:23.320 --> 0:05:26.919 just to like what I thought it was and the 0:05:26.960 --> 0:05:28.680 memories and like all it's like I'm like. 0:05:28.640 --> 0:05:31.440 How is this? Like how did I get here? And 0:05:31.480 --> 0:05:32.280 so I was. 0:05:32.320 --> 0:05:32.560 It was. 0:05:32.600 --> 0:05:34.920 It was very it was very strange. But I mean, 0:05:35.120 --> 0:05:36.720 and again, like it's not that I want him to 0:05:36.760 --> 0:05:38.160 be depressed. I don't want them to be depressed. 0:05:38.160 --> 0:05:38.600 I don't want to. 0:05:38.640 --> 0:05:41.040 I don't either, like, but it just would have been 0:05:41.120 --> 0:05:42.919 I don't know. I guess I just wanted that, like, 0:05:43.920 --> 0:05:45.760 and it was great that he was cordial and like, 0:05:45.960 --> 0:05:49.080 you know, everyone had a conversation and everyone was cordial 0:05:49.080 --> 0:05:51.080 and everyone was really nice and he was nice, and 0:05:51.120 --> 0:05:53.800 like everything was great, but it just would have been 0:05:53.880 --> 0:05:57.840 nice to not nice. But I don't know, just that like, yeah, 0:05:57.839 --> 0:06:00.000 this is acknowledgment that this is, this is a little 0:06:00.360 --> 0:06:02.800 this is this kind of that doesn't suck. It's just 0:06:02.839 --> 0:06:05.280 like this is this is awkward, but like for him 0:06:05.320 --> 0:06:05.719 to be like, no. 0:06:05.800 --> 0:06:07.400 It's great. Everything's like this is amazing. 0:06:07.680 --> 0:06:10.440 I'm like, well, or maybe he's just really happy not 0:06:10.520 --> 0:06:12.920 to be with me anymore. I think there's a piece 0:06:12.960 --> 0:06:15.200 where even like you know, he had said when we're married, 0:06:15.240 --> 0:06:18.039 like he just wants to be able to do what 0:06:18.080 --> 0:06:21.479 he wants to do, and unfortunately he doesn't, like never 0:06:21.640 --> 0:06:24.640 liked boundaries, and then when you cheat on someone repeatedly, 0:06:25.080 --> 0:06:28.720 you're gonna have boundaries even more than what a normal 0:06:28.839 --> 0:06:31.599 typical marriage of boundaries would look like. And he's just 0:06:31.760 --> 0:06:35.520 never liked boundaries ever. So it's like it was like, 0:06:36.160 --> 0:06:37.560 you know, I think he said this too. He's like, 0:06:37.680 --> 0:06:39.360 there was no way it was ever going to work 0:06:39.400 --> 0:06:42.520 because he just can't have those he can't be one down, 0:06:42.560 --> 0:06:44.120 he can't have those restrictions. 0:06:45.480 --> 0:06:47.160 Well then maybe he is happy and maybe he just 0:06:47.200 --> 0:06:49.520 needs to live that life of going out and never 0:06:50.640 --> 0:06:53.039 you know, good luck to the next girl having to 0:06:53.040 --> 0:06:54.080 deal with that, though. 0:06:54.160 --> 0:06:56.279 Well she won't have the trust issues, you know, like 0:06:56.279 --> 0:07:01.640 because he won't cheat on them. Hopefully don't look at me. 0:07:02.839 --> 0:07:05.760 But anyways, Wow, I did not see that that. 0:07:07.360 --> 0:07:08.080 Was the school thing. 0:07:08.120 --> 0:07:10.200 You were going to tell us was the school thing? Yeah, yeah, 0:07:10.200 --> 0:07:10.880 I started. 0:07:12.840 --> 0:07:15.679 So, Okay, this is kind of like what Chelsea Handler 0:07:15.680 --> 0:07:17.679 said the other day, where you fire off a little 0:07:17.680 --> 0:07:19.560 too fast. And I know that I do this and 0:07:19.600 --> 0:07:22.440 I'm working on not doing this, but in this situation 0:07:22.480 --> 0:07:23.520 when it's around my kids, I. 0:07:23.480 --> 0:07:24.760 Fire off way too fast. 0:07:25.360 --> 0:07:28.680 So I go into so jasonly goes two half days 0:07:29.000 --> 0:07:30.520 and I even take him out. I pay for the 0:07:30.520 --> 0:07:33.800 full day, but he I take him out of the 0:07:33.800 --> 0:07:36.720 half day or like, I take him out in the 0:07:36.760 --> 0:07:38.840 middle of the day because he still naps really good 0:07:38.880 --> 0:07:40.640 at home. So I'm like, I just don't want to 0:07:40.640 --> 0:07:46.000 like mess that up, so and I kind of wasn't. 0:07:46.480 --> 0:07:47.760 Now they're for sure not going to be back if 0:07:47.760 --> 0:07:49.880 they listen to my podcast, but I won't say that. 0:07:50.000 --> 0:07:51.920 I won't say the school teachers. 0:07:51.720 --> 0:07:54.080 Right, So I was kind of like not loving the 0:07:54.120 --> 0:07:57.440 one teacher. It's just I just didn't get a good vibe. 0:07:57.840 --> 0:08:03.960 Didn't call miss missus McGillicutty sounds like great, Yeah, where 0:08:04.000 --> 0:08:04.480 did you come on? 0:08:04.520 --> 0:08:12.760 Where did you pull? Missus? Missus l This is McGillicutty. 0:08:13.200 --> 0:08:16.840 Okay, So Missus McGillicutty, just I just don't really like her, 0:08:16.880 --> 0:08:18.280 Like she just kind of like gave me like a 0:08:18.280 --> 0:08:22.600 weird vibe. But I will say I'm very highly sensitive 0:08:22.600 --> 0:08:25.880 to Jase right now because he is he's having a 0:08:25.920 --> 0:08:28.400 really tough time with transitions with the divorce. Like he 0:08:29.560 --> 0:08:34.640 on on transition days, he's he struggles really bad. He's 0:08:35.840 --> 0:08:38.400 he's super clingy, but he also is like very angry, 0:08:38.679 --> 0:08:42.800 and he's just he's mad, he's sad, he's like all 0:08:42.840 --> 0:08:45.520 the things like he just it's it's really sad to see. 0:08:46.440 --> 0:08:50.920 And so I'm just like overly sensitive about him and 0:08:51.000 --> 0:08:54.120 him being taken care of when when he's not with me. 0:08:54.440 --> 0:08:58.520 So missus McGillicutty when when I met her, I was 0:08:58.520 --> 0:09:00.880 just kind of like, but he needs to be somewhere. 0:09:00.880 --> 0:09:02.600 That's something too, because like when he's with me, like 0:09:02.640 --> 0:09:05.240 he's so clinging, and I'm like, I need at least 0:09:05.320 --> 0:09:08.200 two days where I can do some some work because 0:09:08.240 --> 0:09:10.400 he just won't let me do anything without him, like 0:09:11.120 --> 0:09:14.480 basically on me like two half days, so from nine 0:09:14.679 --> 0:09:20.720 to twelve. So I go there and he is soiled 0:09:20.800 --> 0:09:26.320 in his pea and I was like, did you go 0:09:26.360 --> 0:09:28.280 to the bath? Like he clearly went to the bathroom. 0:09:28.280 --> 0:09:30.160 I'm like, when did this happen? And she goes a 0:09:30.200 --> 0:09:34.520 little while ago, and I'm like, a little while ago, 0:09:35.320 --> 0:09:35.960 what do you mean. 0:09:36.400 --> 0:09:37.520 She's like, well, we were. 0:09:37.400 --> 0:09:40.080 Outside and then we came in and then and I 0:09:40.080 --> 0:09:42.040 was like, right, but all the kids are now like 0:09:42.080 --> 0:09:45.240 getting in their nap time position. You could have clearly 0:09:45.360 --> 0:09:48.400 changed him a little while ago. Like if it was 0:09:48.440 --> 0:09:50.280 like five minutes, I'd have been like, oh, okay, like 0:09:50.480 --> 0:09:53.640 you know, maybe ten a little while ago, Like what 0:09:53.720 --> 0:09:55.400 is a little while too. A little while is. 0:09:55.360 --> 0:09:58.840 Like twenty to thirty minutes to me, I don't know specifically, 0:09:58.880 --> 0:10:02.160 but knowing that they were outside, I. 0:10:02.160 --> 0:10:04.760 Mean the kids were sleep, they were in their cots. 0:10:05.000 --> 0:10:08.880 Jason was waiting for me. Yeah, yeah, no, so that 0:10:08.920 --> 0:10:10.920 means that he's too long. That means that he was 0:10:10.960 --> 0:10:16.520 outside and then he sat and ate his lunch, thank 0:10:16.520 --> 0:10:18.360 you lunch. 0:10:18.160 --> 0:10:20.280 But didn't bring them bring him in for some reason 0:10:20.320 --> 0:10:22.880 because of numbers, because they have to have a certain amount. 0:10:22.640 --> 0:10:24.680 Of kids with teachers or whatever. But the fact that 0:10:24.720 --> 0:10:26.040 they sat through lunch. 0:10:26.200 --> 0:10:30.240 So they go outside lunch down for now, so I wouldn't. 0:10:30.400 --> 0:10:32.320 So they're like, well, we can change him now, and 0:10:32.520 --> 0:10:33.920 she goes to like touch him. I was like, do 0:10:33.960 --> 0:10:37.720 not touch my son. And then I just grabbed him 0:10:38.360 --> 0:10:40.440 and I was just like, we are not coming back. 0:10:41.520 --> 0:10:47.160 So then because I'm like it's my son, he soiled 0:10:47.160 --> 0:10:51.120 in his own piss, Like no, So I go to 0:10:51.120 --> 0:10:52.600 the front office. I was like, I did not like 0:10:52.600 --> 0:10:55.840 miss mcgilly called it whatever mcgilly cutty, I don't like 0:10:55.880 --> 0:10:58.560 her now and a little while ago is unacceptable like 0:10:58.640 --> 0:11:02.520 not happening. So I was like, we're not coming back. 0:11:02.920 --> 0:11:05.320 Well now I have had nowhere to take him. I've 0:11:05.360 --> 0:11:09.320 called every freaking preschool. We are like I'm in like 0:11:09.320 --> 0:11:12.960 the waitless for like the sixth seventh kid and I'm like, 0:11:13.280 --> 0:11:17.000 I need help, Like we're like the craziest we've ever been. 0:11:17.040 --> 0:11:19.280 I've got auditions, I've got like I mean, there's so 0:11:19.400 --> 0:11:23.079 much going on a single mom in it like losing 0:11:23.080 --> 0:11:26.320 my mind, and I'm like, I need these two days 0:11:26.360 --> 0:11:29.440 for like sanity and to get stuff done. And so 0:11:29.679 --> 0:11:31.720 I've called a bunch of places. I've emailed a bunch 0:11:31.760 --> 0:11:34.720 of places and they're like, well, you're like tenth in line. 0:11:35.679 --> 0:11:40.400 So I email them. I email the Old school and 0:11:40.440 --> 0:11:43.679 I was like, tail between my legs. I was like, 0:11:47.040 --> 0:11:51.880 I was like, I apologize for my reaction and can 0:11:51.920 --> 0:11:52.720 I come back please? 0:11:56.400 --> 0:11:58.520 Did you acknowledge your tail between your legs? 0:11:58.520 --> 0:11:59.840 Because that's funny if you did that. 0:12:00.120 --> 0:12:03.000 No, like, no joke. I can read you the email. Yeah, 0:12:03.040 --> 0:12:05.800 I was like that. I mean I know imas pulled 0:12:05.880 --> 0:12:06.400 up for you right now. 0:12:06.480 --> 0:12:09.679 They tell if you're to come back, I mean you 0:12:10.000 --> 0:12:11.320 have to be like, look, I was a little bit 0:12:11.320 --> 0:12:14.679 of an outrageous bitch, but at the same time like, 0:12:15.240 --> 0:12:17.080 but they have to also, it's not accept I would 0:12:17.120 --> 0:12:17.839 like to talk to the teacher. 0:12:17.880 --> 0:12:18.559 So this would happened. 0:12:18.720 --> 0:12:23.040 Literally subject line Jace tail between legs do dot that 0:12:23.520 --> 0:12:24.199 I need him out? 0:12:24.200 --> 0:12:27.840 Of his house. Hal, could he just come back. 0:12:27.720 --> 0:12:33.040 Until he can move to a different class, until afferent class? 0:12:33.120 --> 0:12:34.920 So because I want him in the next class, like 0:12:34.960 --> 0:12:36.679 the goal is to get him to the next class. 0:12:36.679 --> 0:12:39.400 Like for the other teacher. Sure, apparently you guys don't like. 0:12:39.800 --> 0:12:41.800 No, I don't have an issue with her. She's just 0:12:41.840 --> 0:12:44.440 not as warm. I think she teaches. She's good for 0:12:44.480 --> 0:12:46.920 what she's good for. She teaches them independents. 0:12:48.640 --> 0:12:51.240 So anyways, I'm stressed out. So but they have not 0:12:51.280 --> 0:12:53.280 emailed me back yet because the're probably like truck for you. 0:12:53.840 --> 0:12:56.360 So this is where I haven't responded. Usually they always 0:12:56.360 --> 0:12:59.080 respond to me the best part. So I told my therapist, 0:12:59.120 --> 0:13:00.439 I was like, I gotta work on my actions a 0:13:00.440 --> 0:13:02.280 little bit. I think I just needed to. I should 0:13:02.280 --> 0:13:04.440 have just taken a breath and said, don't touch my son, 0:13:04.679 --> 0:13:07.560 and then I'm gonna not say to quit leave, And 0:13:07.600 --> 0:13:10.720 then what I should have done then was just said 0:13:10.760 --> 0:13:12.559 I would like to have a conversation so this doesn't 0:13:12.559 --> 0:13:16.160 happen in the future. But instead I've now screwed myself 0:13:16.320 --> 0:13:17.600 and I am and. 0:13:17.520 --> 0:13:19.520 Now that's going to be the teacher warm that you 0:13:19.600 --> 0:13:24.040 have to see every day. 0:13:24.679 --> 0:13:26.160 They are, Yeah, they are. 0:13:26.360 --> 0:13:26.920 It's fine. 0:13:27.400 --> 0:13:28.160 This is a lesson. 0:13:28.200 --> 0:13:29.360 This is a good lesson learned. 0:13:29.760 --> 0:13:33.080 Don't Chelsea teach us anything the other day. Look when 0:13:33.120 --> 0:13:34.480 it's my kids, I know, I get it. 0:13:34.520 --> 0:13:35.760 I did the same thing. I get it. 0:13:35.880 --> 0:13:39.400 Look if it was, like I get it, you soiled 0:13:39.400 --> 0:13:42.200 in your pa like Hope with Catherine, put it depend on. 0:13:44.040 --> 0:13:44.920 I get it. Kids. 0:13:45.760 --> 0:13:48.040 It's unacceptable. I mean, I'm not gonna defend. I mean 0:13:48.080 --> 0:13:49.000 it's unacceptable. 0:13:49.160 --> 0:13:49.560 For sure. 0:13:49.600 --> 0:13:51.040 A little while is unacceptable. 0:13:51.840 --> 0:13:54.439 I mean, honestly, if they have an accident, you have 0:13:54.480 --> 0:13:58.080 to as soon as possible. You can even get a 0:13:58.080 --> 0:13:59.640 floater to come in and do something. 0:13:59.720 --> 0:14:01.160 Keep as soon as possible. 0:14:01.160 --> 0:14:02.000 It needs to be changed. 0:14:02.320 --> 0:14:03.640 Do you ever rash or anything? 0:14:04.840 --> 0:14:06.760 I was so flustered, I didn't even know. I just 0:14:06.800 --> 0:14:09.000 like coddled them like a little baby, which. 0:14:08.840 --> 0:14:09.920 Like you bothered old thing. 0:14:10.000 --> 0:14:10.800 Mama loves you. 0:14:11.480 --> 0:14:15.920 I will never bring you back to you because he's 0:14:15.920 --> 0:14:18.000 my son and I'm obsessed with him and I love him. 0:14:18.040 --> 0:14:18.800 But I agree with you. 0:14:18.880 --> 0:14:20.600 He has to be out of the house because you 0:14:20.680 --> 0:14:22.080 have help here in the house. 0:14:22.200 --> 0:14:24.560 Oh no, Like I needed to do something earlier today 0:14:24.560 --> 0:14:26.280 and like I have someone helping, and she's amazing and 0:14:26.320 --> 0:14:28.160 I love her so much. But the problem is is 0:14:28.200 --> 0:14:29.800 like he hears me. So he comes in the room 0:14:29.840 --> 0:14:32.440 and I'm trying to do this thing for and for 0:14:32.680 --> 0:14:36.280 you know, content stuff, and I'm just like and then 0:14:36.280 --> 0:14:38.080 I feel bad. So I'm like, okay, buddy, like come here. 0:14:38.080 --> 0:14:39.560 But then it stresses me out. So then when you know, 0:14:39.600 --> 0:14:41.200 and then she comes and she's like, and I got 0:14:41.200 --> 0:14:43.120 the podcast and I want to get you know, I'm. 0:14:42.960 --> 0:14:44.400 Pumped up for the guests we have today. 0:14:44.440 --> 0:14:46.600 So it's just i mean, look, it's all champagne problems, 0:14:47.960 --> 0:14:52.040 but it's also and now Mark, there's a People magazine 0:14:52.040 --> 0:14:54.160 thing on me. Now I'm just like all freaking faster. 0:14:54.360 --> 0:14:55.960 I don't even know what to do right now. Can 0:14:56.000 --> 0:14:57.960 you imagine though, of us three got in a photo, 0:14:58.160 --> 0:15:04.120 what were they thinking thinking? Well, guess what. I was like, 0:15:04.200 --> 0:15:07.080 ain't gonna but they were like all gone for it. 0:15:07.120 --> 0:15:08.120 I was like, I was like, do you know that 0:15:08.120 --> 0:15:08.920 you're about to take a. 0:15:08.920 --> 0:15:11.160 Photo with Like what are you? What are you thinking? 0:15:12.760 --> 0:15:13.480 Got a chance? 0:15:14.640 --> 0:15:15.800 Holy balls? 0:15:16.400 --> 0:15:20.120 Okay, Well, I'm super pumped because we have Mike Vogel 0:15:20.160 --> 0:15:22.200 coming on the show and he's from Sex Life, and 0:15:22.240 --> 0:15:24.960 I just wow, there's just a lot to talk to 0:15:25.000 --> 0:15:26.880 him about. So let's take a break and then get 0:15:26.920 --> 0:15:27.160 him on. 0:15:40.280 --> 0:15:40.480 Hi. 0:15:43.160 --> 0:15:44.160 I just have to tell. 0:15:44.000 --> 0:15:47.520 You that I I first fell in love with you 0:15:47.720 --> 0:15:55.640 as Johnny, Like Johnny, come on, you see help I 0:15:55.720 --> 0:15:58.800 have Okay, Johnny like he's like remember when she was 0:15:58.840 --> 0:16:00.880 like Octavia Spencer, she was so scared because like the 0:16:01.120 --> 0:16:03.480 husband's coming home and then she like drops her groceries, 0:16:03.520 --> 0:16:05.760 but like Johnny like helps pick up the groceries, like 0:16:05.840 --> 0:16:06.800 Johnny's amazing. 0:16:07.240 --> 0:16:07.480 Member. 0:16:07.840 --> 0:16:09.960 Yeah, I was. I was the one, the one person 0:16:10.000 --> 0:16:12.480 that didn't get to play a racist. It was fantastic 0:16:12.760 --> 0:16:17.200 in that movie. What a beautiful, beautiful cast of characters, 0:16:17.280 --> 0:16:21.000 beautiful message. To be a part of that was really neat. 0:16:21.120 --> 0:16:23.920 So yeah, yeah, I know, I mean like you crushed 0:16:23.960 --> 0:16:26.040 it and you're just like yeah, I was like I 0:16:26.080 --> 0:16:28.280 want I like find me a Johnny like I wanted 0:16:28.360 --> 0:16:30.600 Johnny like just like a nice. 0:16:30.240 --> 0:16:34.640 That was doing that was that was the was Uh. 0:16:34.800 --> 0:16:39.800 We filmed that in Greenwood, Misissippi, and that I always 0:16:39.880 --> 0:16:43.000 loved the style. But that was sort of as a 0:16:43.080 --> 0:16:47.280 kid from Philadelphia, it's you know, you're you're Yankee eyzed. 0:16:49.040 --> 0:16:51.480 But but I but I got to Mississippi, and I'm like, 0:16:51.720 --> 0:16:55.040 all right, this, I need this in my life. And 0:16:55.160 --> 0:16:57.400 uh and so a couple of years later we moved 0:16:57.640 --> 0:16:59.840 moved to Nashville here, so it was great. 0:17:00.040 --> 0:17:03.440 How do you like Nashville? So were you living in LA? Like, 0:17:03.480 --> 0:17:06.639 did you did you go Philly to La, La to Nashville. 0:17:07.040 --> 0:17:10.440 Yeah, Philly to LA for twelve years and then here 0:17:10.480 --> 0:17:13.520 in Nashville for eight So I can say I was 0:17:13.560 --> 0:17:19.040 here before the mass exodus of of LA people to 0:17:19.040 --> 0:17:19.760 to Nashville. 0:17:20.119 --> 0:17:22.320 Okay, I'll I'll let you have that one, because I 0:17:22.400 --> 0:17:24.800 was kind of saying, like I did, I was Detroit 0:17:25.119 --> 0:17:28.040 to LA for about twelve years and then came here 0:17:28.119 --> 0:17:29.320 about what five years. 0:17:29.119 --> 0:17:31.440 Ago, six years ago? So I feel like we can. 0:17:31.520 --> 0:17:34.480 We can say that like everyone in the last two 0:17:34.560 --> 0:17:36.040 years can just like suck it. 0:17:36.600 --> 0:17:39.040 That's right, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, we're 0:17:39.080 --> 0:17:43.879 og It's it's uh, it's interesting. It's an interesting question. 0:17:44.000 --> 0:17:48.399 Do I like Do I like Nashville post exodus or 0:17:49.359 --> 0:17:54.880 or pre exodus? It's a tough one. It's it will 0:17:54.920 --> 0:17:58.240 always be an infinitely better town than Los Angeles. And 0:17:58.280 --> 0:18:03.960 I love Nashville and I certainly love Franklin but there 0:18:04.000 --> 0:18:08.640 are flavors of Los Angeles still, you know, now creeping in. 0:18:09.600 --> 0:18:11.680 Uh and I just keep saying, well, I'm going to 0:18:11.720 --> 0:18:13.159 have to move further out. I don't know. 0:18:13.680 --> 0:18:14.280 Well, that's like. 0:18:14.240 --> 0:18:16.280 It's kinda be hard for you because Catherine's and she's 0:18:16.320 --> 0:18:18.639 a you were born and raised here, so it's like 0:18:18.720 --> 0:18:20.520 you probably hate all these other people. 0:18:20.680 --> 0:18:23.280 I am a unicorn, but yeah, I know it's kind 0:18:23.280 --> 0:18:23.760 of terrible. 0:18:23.800 --> 0:18:24.439 It is changed. 0:18:24.680 --> 0:18:27.119 What makes it like is what makes it bad? For 0:18:27.160 --> 0:18:29.240 like these are like us coming in here. 0:18:31.640 --> 0:18:35.800 A lot. Let me count the ways, right, well, let. 0:18:35.640 --> 0:18:38.480 Me start with how much a I'm just gonna I mean, 0:18:39.000 --> 0:18:41.520 I mean it's been nice that there's like yeah yeah, 0:18:41.760 --> 0:18:44.440 nicer restaurants and stuff like that, Like I'll take that, 0:18:44.600 --> 0:18:46.960 and just the traffic and the growth, and then. 0:18:47.800 --> 0:18:50.119 You know, it's just people, it's their energy. 0:18:50.320 --> 0:18:54.160 Yeah, okay, So how many kids? 0:18:55.320 --> 0:18:55.760 Three? 0:18:56.240 --> 0:19:03.720 Ages twelve? And my son turned eight on Friday? So yeah, yeah, 0:19:03.720 --> 0:19:07.040 I'm old dad. Now that's crazy to me. My gen 0:19:07.160 --> 0:19:10.960 Z daughter frequently reminds me of how out of touch 0:19:11.000 --> 0:19:14.960 I am. Dad. Listen to ski Mask the slump God. 0:19:14.960 --> 0:19:22.000 I'm sorry, what's his name? Slump God? Okay, is that yeah, so, 0:19:22.440 --> 0:19:26.960 but it's yeah, it's it's fun. And I love, love, 0:19:27.080 --> 0:19:30.479 love my kids. They're awesome and and Nashville has provided 0:19:30.520 --> 0:19:33.080 them an awesome I'm staring at our horse out of 0:19:33.119 --> 0:19:38.000 the back pasture and it's just provided a wonderful, wonderful 0:19:38.119 --> 0:19:38.840 upbringing for the. 0:19:39.040 --> 0:19:39.840 Yeah, no, for sure. 0:19:39.880 --> 0:19:42.280 I mean I've got two and I remember at the 0:19:42.280 --> 0:19:43.879 time when I was married, we were like, we got 0:19:43.920 --> 0:19:47.119 to get out of La Like this is just I 0:19:47.160 --> 0:19:48.960 want my daughter to be able to ride her bike 0:19:49.040 --> 0:19:50.840 to her friend's house and like not get you know, 0:19:50.920 --> 0:19:55.680 trip over, like yes whatever. So yeah, right, there's a 0:19:55.720 --> 0:19:57.320 lot of things we could trip over, but yeah, I can. 0:19:57.320 --> 0:19:58.800 Make a trip over out there. 0:19:59.680 --> 0:20:04.959 Okay, but I have to. So I I heard all 0:20:04.960 --> 0:20:07.760 about sex life and then I was like, all right, 0:20:07.760 --> 0:20:09.280 I'm going to finally do it. 0:20:09.359 --> 0:20:10.440 And I watched it. 0:20:10.680 --> 0:20:11.399 I jumped in. 0:20:11.440 --> 0:20:14.000 But the funniest part was is because I'm a I'm 0:20:14.040 --> 0:20:17.159 a newly divorcee and I'm sitting there and I'm like 0:20:17.400 --> 0:20:20.399 I pour my like glass of wine and sitting on 0:20:20.440 --> 0:20:23.399 the couch, I'm folding laundry. And the episode, the first 0:20:23.440 --> 0:20:26.199 episode is like you know this, like Mom, She's just 0:20:26.320 --> 0:20:27.840 like and I. 0:20:27.760 --> 0:20:34.720 Was like, I feel so sick, just like I was 0:20:34.760 --> 0:20:35.720 just like, oh my god. 0:20:35.760 --> 0:20:37.560 But then what the crazy thing is is like when 0:20:37.560 --> 0:20:40.600 I'm watching it, but I'm like, you know, I'm like, 0:20:41.400 --> 0:20:43.720 you're a great husband in it too. So it's like 0:20:43.840 --> 0:20:46.480 just watching like the whole parallels of everything. It's so interesting. 0:20:46.520 --> 0:20:49.959 But when you read the script, and especially with that 0:20:50.080 --> 0:20:52.600 first like pilot episode where you kind of like, oh, wow, 0:20:52.720 --> 0:20:55.120 like I do this to my wife, like I need 0:20:55.160 --> 0:20:59.119 to like kind of show her more and attention in 0:20:59.119 --> 0:21:01.280 a way like that, you don't realize that you're not 0:21:01.280 --> 0:21:03.080 doing it until you're kind of set in that role. 0:21:04.280 --> 0:21:07.840 You're you're It's what I love about the show is 0:21:07.920 --> 0:21:14.840 the the yeah, I've been married for eighteen years, and 0:21:15.720 --> 0:21:21.639 it's you don't realize the ways that you get complacent 0:21:21.840 --> 0:21:26.000 and then you get lazy and you The beauty of 0:21:26.080 --> 0:21:29.080 any long term relationship is that you develop a shorthand 0:21:29.080 --> 0:21:32.280 with one another, and that's the ease of knowing someone 0:21:32.359 --> 0:21:36.520 that well is awesome and it's what you're there for. 0:21:37.520 --> 0:21:40.679 At the same time, you develop an ease and a 0:21:40.720 --> 0:21:45.520 shorthand that doesn't allow one or the other or both 0:21:45.720 --> 0:21:50.080 to express maybe certain things that they're feeling in certain 0:21:50.119 --> 0:21:52.680 ways that their needs are being unmet, or that they're 0:21:52.720 --> 0:21:56.159 not feeling seen, that they're not feeling hurt, and you 0:21:56.200 --> 0:21:59.640 don't realize the way that that can that that can 0:22:00.080 --> 0:22:03.119 were up over a long haul in a marriage and 0:22:03.160 --> 0:22:07.960 it comes out maybe as you know, as as Sarah's 0:22:08.040 --> 0:22:11.240 character in the in the show is I just I 0:22:11.280 --> 0:22:13.600 need to have fun again. I need to have But 0:22:13.720 --> 0:22:17.640 the root of that may lie somewhere in in this 0:22:17.760 --> 0:22:22.119 thing that in that relationship where Cooper, where her husband 0:22:22.240 --> 0:22:26.399 has not has not seen and validated certain things in 0:22:26.440 --> 0:22:28.440 her that she and it may be things about herself 0:22:28.520 --> 0:22:31.400 she doesn't even know that she needs to feel validated 0:22:31.400 --> 0:22:33.920 about until all of a sudden it's like boom, there 0:22:33.960 --> 0:22:35.920 it is. This is a problem. Now, this is a thing. 0:22:37.119 --> 0:22:39.800 So I think that has struck a chord with a 0:22:39.840 --> 0:22:44.959 lot of people. You know, the show certainly leans heavily 0:22:45.000 --> 0:22:49.120 on the physicality. But I think, like I think it's 0:22:49.280 --> 0:22:51.560 it's so funny, I said throughout a lot of the press, 0:22:52.560 --> 0:22:58.120 the show's misleading. You know, we live in a we 0:22:58.160 --> 0:23:02.160 live in a world where you can add access pornography 0:23:02.359 --> 0:23:06.840 and someone's perfect life instantaneously, and you can get whatever 0:23:06.920 --> 0:23:09.440 payoff you want. But the real hard work of any 0:23:09.480 --> 0:23:15.760 relationship is doing the work learning you know, love making 0:23:15.960 --> 0:23:18.919 is a language all to itself, and learning how to 0:23:19.960 --> 0:23:23.760 keep that fresh and interesting over the long haul of something. 0:23:24.800 --> 0:23:27.280 There's a challenge, and that's a person's hand I want 0:23:27.280 --> 0:23:30.560 to shake at the end of all that. And so, 0:23:33.359 --> 0:23:38.399 you know, you put a bunch of halfway decent people 0:23:38.440 --> 0:23:43.080 to look at on screen, and that becomes like a distraction. 0:23:43.280 --> 0:23:45.520 But I think it's a distraction from the deeper things 0:23:45.520 --> 0:23:50.159 that are happening, you know, which, as you've said, you know, 0:23:50.240 --> 0:23:53.600 you kind of clue in on. I think it's resonated 0:23:53.640 --> 0:23:57.399 because especially heading through the pandemic and lockdown like we 0:23:57.480 --> 0:23:59.439 just have, a lot of people have been forced to 0:23:59.440 --> 0:24:01.600 stay home, stare at each other in the face and say, 0:24:01.760 --> 0:24:05.360 were you again we get here? And did we ever 0:24:05.440 --> 0:24:08.480 have this figured out? And some people have said, well, 0:24:08.480 --> 0:24:10.560 it's time to figure it out, and other people have said, nah, 0:24:10.600 --> 0:24:15.520 forget it. It's easy to do this somewhere else, and 0:24:15.600 --> 0:24:18.679 people will take from it what they want. You know, 0:24:18.760 --> 0:24:21.919 I got so many messages from people who said, my 0:24:22.000 --> 0:24:25.840 husband and I sat down and had our first hard 0:24:25.920 --> 0:24:31.280 conversation in years and we're excited for where that where 0:24:31.280 --> 0:24:33.679 this is going to go, And other people said, I 0:24:33.720 --> 0:24:38.680 can't have that conversation, you know. So it's just interesting 0:24:38.880 --> 0:24:41.680 how it kind of impacts different people different ways. 0:24:41.840 --> 0:24:44.320 Did you have a conversation or something like, oh, hey, 0:24:44.359 --> 0:24:46.760 I've noticed like through this, like with with your relationship 0:24:46.760 --> 0:24:49.400 with your wife, that like where you've noticed where you've 0:24:49.760 --> 0:24:51.359 become complacent in certain areas. 0:24:51.760 --> 0:24:57.399 Oh, one hundred percent, one hundred percent. You know again, 0:24:57.520 --> 0:25:02.439 you have you have a certain way of being and 0:25:02.480 --> 0:25:10.280 I think, as guys, and I can only speak for guys, 0:25:11.200 --> 0:25:17.000 we have the mentality of wanting to be celebrated and 0:25:17.040 --> 0:25:22.600 wanting to be seen and known is not as big 0:25:22.640 --> 0:25:25.919 a deal for us, and so we project that, I 0:25:25.960 --> 0:25:28.119 think a lot of times into our relationships, and it's 0:25:28.160 --> 0:25:30.879 a constant reminder. I had someone in college tell me 0:25:33.160 --> 0:25:36.399 he said, fellas, how many of you who are married? 0:25:36.440 --> 0:25:39.280 Which I wasn't on of course, but he said, how 0:25:39.320 --> 0:25:42.280 many of you that are married are still dating your wives? 0:25:42.320 --> 0:25:44.840 Everyone started to laugh. He said, no, no, no, I'm dead serious. 0:25:45.359 --> 0:25:47.080 How many of you are still dating your wives because 0:25:47.080 --> 0:25:50.600 of the minute you stop your relationships over And I 0:25:50.600 --> 0:25:54.480 think we run through that process early on of dating 0:25:54.600 --> 0:25:57.480 and making the commitment, and then we forget that that's 0:25:57.520 --> 0:26:01.240 an ongoing thing that then has to continue to evolve 0:26:01.480 --> 0:26:04.600 and develop as the relationship goes on. 0:26:06.320 --> 0:26:08.440 Yeah, I mean in eighteen you said eighteen years you've 0:26:08.440 --> 0:26:10.160 been married, And. 0:26:10.119 --> 0:26:10.960 How long have you been married? 0:26:11.080 --> 0:26:11.520 Fourteen? 0:26:11.600 --> 0:26:13.280 Yeah, I mean that's just like a long time because 0:26:13.480 --> 0:26:15.760 you're changing and you're growing and you're you know, it's 0:26:15.800 --> 0:26:17.159 just like to have that. You got to have that 0:26:17.200 --> 0:26:20.000 like awesome communication because if not, I mean, you're like 0:26:20.040 --> 0:26:21.880 you said, like during the pandemic, you're like, wait, huh, 0:26:21.920 --> 0:26:22.920 who who are you? 0:26:23.000 --> 0:26:24.000 Like I don't even know who you are? 0:26:24.720 --> 0:26:25.160 M hmm. 0:26:25.760 --> 0:26:29.560 Yeah, speaking of you know, first of all, congrats you're 0:26:29.600 --> 0:26:32.240 incredible in the like in the role and I love 0:26:32.760 --> 0:26:37.720 the first season. Were you a little like nervous telling 0:26:37.720 --> 0:26:39.040 your wife about it? Like, I know, you're an actual 0:26:39.040 --> 0:26:40.520 You've done a bunch of stuff, you've been you know, 0:26:40.560 --> 0:26:42.840 but I mean this is like a totally different level of. 0:26:44.320 --> 0:26:50.000 Yeah, it's hard. It's hard, and we had a lot 0:26:50.040 --> 0:26:53.359 of she you know, she read the scripts along with me, 0:26:55.200 --> 0:26:58.040 and and it's hard. It continues to be hard. It's 0:26:58.080 --> 0:27:04.840 not it's it takes a special special person to be 0:27:04.960 --> 0:27:08.800 the spouse of someone in this industry. And it's the 0:27:08.840 --> 0:27:10.760 same with a lot of industries. I've said, you know, 0:27:10.800 --> 0:27:14.760 I've often compared it, while I'm in no way comparing 0:27:14.840 --> 0:27:18.959 myself to a first responder or a soldier or someone 0:27:19.040 --> 0:27:23.200 like that, But it takes a certain a certain strength 0:27:23.280 --> 0:27:26.840 of a spouse to be married to someone who when 0:27:26.880 --> 0:27:29.119 they leave and walk out that front door in the morning, 0:27:29.320 --> 0:27:31.600 or when they go on deployment, you don't know if 0:27:31.640 --> 0:27:35.040 they're coming back. And there's plenty of people who would 0:27:35.040 --> 0:27:37.240 look at that and say, yeah, that's not a that's 0:27:37.280 --> 0:27:39.520 not a life that I think I can I can stomach. 0:27:39.600 --> 0:27:42.679 That's not a life that I think I can that 0:27:42.760 --> 0:27:46.680 I can sign up for. And the tough part about 0:27:46.720 --> 0:27:50.520 this business is it's why I think you see so 0:27:50.600 --> 0:27:55.240 many relational issues is over the long haul of a career, 0:27:55.359 --> 0:28:00.239 there's there's so many different ways that that things can 0:28:00.280 --> 0:28:03.280 go sideways. If you're not being diligent and being on 0:28:03.400 --> 0:28:09.119 top of your your relationship, it's easy for things to 0:28:09.119 --> 0:28:15.359 get away from you. And she is fortunately an unbelievable, 0:28:15.680 --> 0:28:23.119 unbelievable woman. She's certainly certainly the better of these two ads. 0:28:22.600 --> 0:28:28.840 So speaking of telling your wife, what about telling your kids, Like, 0:28:28.920 --> 0:28:31.040 how do you have that conversation with because I'm scared 0:28:31.040 --> 0:28:32.760 to watch it because I'm afraid my twelve year old 0:28:32.800 --> 0:28:34.480 son is going to go on my Netflix and see 0:28:34.480 --> 0:28:36.520 that I'm watching sex Life. 0:28:37.160 --> 0:28:39.360 Yeah, it's a good question. 0:28:39.480 --> 0:28:41.920 I have watched it. Take it off the Netflix. 0:28:44.760 --> 0:28:51.840 It certainly is a difficult and it's a subject that 0:28:51.880 --> 0:28:54.720 we had to broach that we knew we knew heading 0:28:54.760 --> 0:29:03.400 into this, but I think kind of where we sided ish, 0:29:04.400 --> 0:29:08.240 there's still fourteen year old is coming into a place 0:29:08.280 --> 0:29:10.600 where it's it's hard hiding certain things from her, but 0:29:12.960 --> 0:29:17.640 also wanting for me being and I think for my 0:29:17.720 --> 0:29:20.280 wife as well, being involved in a show where it's 0:29:20.360 --> 0:29:25.560 done through the female gaze for the first time, you 0:29:25.600 --> 0:29:29.040 know ever, you know, normally these things are done through 0:29:29.080 --> 0:29:36.720 the male gaze and giving voice to female desire and uh, 0:29:37.320 --> 0:29:40.720 you know, the issues within a woman of wanting wanting 0:29:40.760 --> 0:29:48.000 to be seen and known and realized, and wanting that 0:29:48.080 --> 0:29:52.520 from my daughters someday for their relationships and knowing that 0:29:52.520 --> 0:29:56.959 that the world will will heep on its own stuff 0:29:56.960 --> 0:30:01.440 on them and and and hopefully to be involved in 0:30:01.560 --> 0:30:04.960 something again. And this is. If I have one reservation 0:30:05.160 --> 0:30:10.160 to the show, it's it's that that it becomes about 0:30:10.200 --> 0:30:16.800 the physicality when you know. What's misleading about it to 0:30:16.920 --> 0:30:20.840 me is so much people. 0:30:20.640 --> 0:30:21.880 Are looking at it like, oh my god, it's a 0:30:21.880 --> 0:30:23.760 soft porn. It's like, no, it's actually like this wife 0:30:23.840 --> 0:30:28.040 is like, you know right, So yeah. 0:30:28.120 --> 0:30:34.760 It's also this place of we show. Someone had said 0:30:34.800 --> 0:30:38.160 to me in the process of the press. They were like, dude, 0:30:38.160 --> 0:30:41.000 what does it feel like playing the dope, playing the 0:30:41.240 --> 0:30:43.320 you know, playing the guy? They can't figure it out? 0:30:43.400 --> 0:30:44.840 I said, I'm sorry, I said, I don't. I don't 0:30:44.920 --> 0:30:46.680 quite see it that way. In fact, I see him 0:30:46.840 --> 0:30:50.320 as all of our experiences, I said, because the mind 0:30:50.360 --> 0:30:53.640 blowing sex that she's having. As I sit here and 0:30:53.920 --> 0:30:55.800 say it quietly, I'm staring at my daughter on the 0:30:55.800 --> 0:31:05.240 back porch, that answers my question. You know, the mind 0:31:05.280 --> 0:31:10.960 blowing sex that she's having with her ex boyfriend. Any 0:31:11.000 --> 0:31:13.000 of us that have been in relationship for any amount 0:31:13.000 --> 0:31:17.360 of time, Yeah, that's there sometimes, and that probably was 0:31:17.360 --> 0:31:20.800 there a lot in the beginning. Maybe maybe it wasn't, 0:31:21.760 --> 0:31:26.760 But like anything, it takes work, and if you think 0:31:26.800 --> 0:31:30.400 it's going to stay like that all the time you're 0:31:31.480 --> 0:31:36.760 sadly misguided and it becomes about the very deeper things. 0:31:37.720 --> 0:31:39.720 And so so I said to her, I said, I 0:31:39.760 --> 0:31:45.160 actually quite like Cooper's fumbling and stumbling and getting squirted 0:31:45.160 --> 0:31:47.160 in the face with breast milk, because I think all 0:31:47.200 --> 0:31:51.640 of that is real having lived those moments and in fact, 0:31:51.720 --> 0:31:56.720 between between a husband and wife, between two spouses, those 0:31:56.760 --> 0:31:59.200 are the things that deep in love because there are 0:31:59.240 --> 0:32:05.600 moments that anyone can go out and have a romp 0:32:05.840 --> 0:32:10.240 and have have a wild night, but it's those intimate, 0:32:10.440 --> 0:32:13.800 awkward moments that only two people like that could share 0:32:13.960 --> 0:32:18.560 that actually for me get logged logged away in the 0:32:18.360 --> 0:32:22.160 in the vault of that's pretty stick and cool to 0:32:22.240 --> 0:32:26.440 share something that awkward and that intimate with someone that 0:32:26.600 --> 0:32:27.360 deepens love. 0:32:27.760 --> 0:32:30.240 So sure, yeah, no, I agree with you, and especially 0:32:30.240 --> 0:32:32.160 like where you want the show to be known for. 0:32:32.240 --> 0:32:35.080 And I respect that a lot. And I think like 0:32:35.160 --> 0:32:38.320 even circling back on like you know, the with the wife, 0:32:38.360 --> 0:32:41.840 like with your wife is you know, we were having 0:32:41.880 --> 0:32:45.040 a conversation just the other night about how you know, 0:32:46.640 --> 0:32:49.440 talking to people and it's like, hey, so like in 0:32:49.440 --> 0:32:51.320 my roles, like I'm going to have to kiss people 0:32:51.520 --> 0:32:53.920 and like are you comfortable with that? And trying to 0:32:53.920 --> 0:32:57.320 explain to someone that doesn't understand that world can be 0:32:57.360 --> 0:32:59.520 hard because I'm like, it's so, it's not really like 0:32:59.560 --> 0:33:02.360 you're you have to have certain boundaries when you're on 0:33:02.440 --> 0:33:05.000 set and offset, and but like onset, it's like not 0:33:05.360 --> 0:33:07.200 like after I made out with the person, it's like, hey. 0:33:07.120 --> 0:33:08.080 What are you having for lunch? 0:33:08.080 --> 0:33:09.360 Like do you want to get the oysters or do 0:33:09.400 --> 0:33:11.400 you want to get the like calamar Like it's like, yeah, 0:33:11.640 --> 0:33:14.200 it's really not. It's only when you step outside of 0:33:14.480 --> 0:33:18.040 the boundaries of going in the trailer or you know, 0:33:18.080 --> 0:33:20.400 reading out or just like and having those conversations or 0:33:20.520 --> 0:33:23.280 talking too much about your problems in your marriage or whatever, like, 0:33:23.680 --> 0:33:27.600 that's going to start blurring the lines. So I think 0:33:27.720 --> 0:33:30.000 as long as you can have the healthy boundaries, it's 0:33:30.400 --> 0:33:34.200 it's it can work, you know, obviously it can. 0:33:33.960 --> 0:33:38.160 And it's it's also like it's hard to describe to 0:33:38.240 --> 0:33:47.480 someone this is like a handshake, yeah, you know. And 0:33:47.520 --> 0:33:52.760 what's what's more interesting is the most intimate thing that 0:33:52.840 --> 0:33:58.160 we do on a set is a stage. Just that's 0:33:58.200 --> 0:34:01.520 because everything we're doing in this show is camera angles 0:34:01.760 --> 0:34:06.840 and uh, all of that stuff. It's far less intimate 0:34:07.360 --> 0:34:10.480 than a stage case. That's the one thing that we 0:34:10.560 --> 0:34:14.440 do that is that any actor does that is probably 0:34:15.080 --> 0:34:19.360 the most the most similar to real life and not. 0:34:19.600 --> 0:34:22.920 And I think you've got to set up you have 0:34:23.000 --> 0:34:25.719 to police yourself when you have to set those boundaries 0:34:29.239 --> 0:34:32.520 if you plan on having any sort of any sort 0:34:32.560 --> 0:34:36.960 of long lasting relationship. Yeah, where you're where you're honoring, 0:34:37.080 --> 0:34:38.440 where you're honoring the other. 0:34:38.280 --> 0:34:41.160 Person, for sure. Okay, moving on to collection. 0:34:43.640 --> 0:34:47.319 So it's available now theaters that you on demand, all 0:34:47.320 --> 0:34:48.239 digital platforms. 0:34:48.440 --> 0:34:49.480 You play a debt collector. 0:34:50.440 --> 0:34:52.919 Oh yeah, tell me. 0:34:52.960 --> 0:34:55.000 Tell me about the collection. Give me, give me because 0:34:55.000 --> 0:34:56.200 I want to. I want to watch it, but I 0:34:56.239 --> 0:34:58.120 need to know. Tell me, tell me what it is, 0:34:58.440 --> 0:34:59.040 what's about. 0:35:00.120 --> 0:35:02.799 So it's it's a look into it's a look into 0:35:02.840 --> 0:35:06.240 the high stakes world of debt collection. We've all gotten 0:35:06.320 --> 0:35:10.880 those annoying phone calls. I still get them now in 0:35:10.920 --> 0:35:14.520 my forties of hey, your college debt is outstanding. No 0:35:14.600 --> 0:35:20.040 it's not. No it's not. But you see the angle 0:35:20.400 --> 0:35:22.960 and as I as I found out, the world is 0:35:23.160 --> 0:35:28.680 far seedier and far more menacing than I realized. As 0:35:28.680 --> 0:35:33.480 you get into the higher, the higher dollar targets, but 0:35:33.560 --> 0:35:38.120 it centers around Alex Petipher and I started this debt 0:35:38.160 --> 0:35:44.720 collection business. And what I loved about the film is Alex. 0:35:44.800 --> 0:35:46.480 I was like, you get to be there and be 0:35:46.560 --> 0:35:50.440 pretty and beautiful and be the love interest and I 0:35:50.440 --> 0:35:52.760 don't have to deal with that for once, and I 0:35:52.920 --> 0:35:56.000 just love it. I can be a complete jerk and 0:35:56.080 --> 0:36:02.680 I can be brash and uh and not have to 0:36:03.000 --> 0:36:06.200 There's a relief in not having to service the love 0:36:06.320 --> 0:36:08.600 story at the same time. So he had a lot 0:36:08.600 --> 0:36:13.680 of the heavy lifting. But our the high value target 0:36:13.719 --> 0:36:15.719 that we kind of go after turns out to be 0:36:15.880 --> 0:36:19.759 a woman that he falls head over heels for, and 0:36:19.800 --> 0:36:24.560 it just complicates the line of priorities between he and 0:36:24.600 --> 0:36:29.440 I and her and how that all breaks down here. 0:36:29.960 --> 0:36:30.880 I'm so excited. 0:36:30.920 --> 0:36:33.160 Well, guys, make sure to watch sex Life and Collection 0:36:33.600 --> 0:36:36.280 and follow along with Mike Bogel because he is awesome. 0:36:36.480 --> 0:36:38.960 And yeah, thank you so much for coming on Wine Down, 0:36:39.000 --> 0:36:40.040 appreciate you, thank you. 0:36:53.840 --> 0:36:54.720 Oh he's so sweet. 0:36:55.680 --> 0:36:56.840 He is he's so cute. 0:36:57.000 --> 0:36:59.760 He's so cute. He's so cute, He's adorable. 0:37:00.280 --> 0:37:01.960 Can I reminds me of Ryan, Like just there's like 0:37:02.000 --> 0:37:04.239 good guys like married for like eight very much. 0:37:04.400 --> 0:37:07.000 Ryan's been married for what nineteen years? My old cool star. 0:37:07.040 --> 0:37:09.640 It's like they're good guys, great guys, good guys out there. 0:37:09.680 --> 0:37:10.440 They're just all married. 0:37:11.640 --> 0:37:13.560 True, they've only married for the those twenty years. 0:37:13.560 --> 0:37:13.719 You know. 0:37:14.160 --> 0:37:16.879 It's like they're good actors. I mean, I know I 0:37:16.920 --> 0:37:20.640 love that. Do you think you could ever marry an actor? 0:37:21.280 --> 0:37:21.360 Like? 0:37:21.400 --> 0:37:21.759 Could you? 0:37:22.320 --> 0:37:23.080 If Nick was like? 0:37:23.360 --> 0:37:26.200 Well, maybe it's different because I think it's it's hard 0:37:26.280 --> 0:37:29.560 for people that weren't than want to. It's like whoa whoa, whoa, 0:37:29.560 --> 0:37:33.200 whoa whoa. But I don't know, could you be okay 0:37:33.280 --> 0:37:34.600 watching Nick make out with someone? 0:37:34.760 --> 0:37:35.319 Probably not? 0:37:36.200 --> 0:37:39.000 No, probably not, but like you see me do it 0:37:39.040 --> 0:37:41.360 and you know it's not anything No. 0:37:41.200 --> 0:37:46.440 But yeah, probably not. M I'll just leave it at that. 0:37:47.239 --> 0:37:49.120 I mean Nick has always said that, like he would 0:37:49.239 --> 0:37:51.800 never want to go on the road, like as a musician, 0:37:51.840 --> 0:37:53.719 you know, we're so used to music business. He's like, 0:37:53.719 --> 0:37:56.160 there's no way, Like women are throwing themselves like I 0:37:56.160 --> 0:37:57.880 would just never put myself in that position. 0:37:58.280 --> 0:38:01.600 H yeah, I mean I mean the boundaries is a 0:38:01.640 --> 0:38:03.919 tough thing. Yeah, I mean that's not being hones set. 0:38:04.160 --> 0:38:06.000 You'd like to think that you would be good at that. 0:38:06.120 --> 0:38:08.239 But you know, I don't know. And I think that 0:38:08.320 --> 0:38:11.960 even the people that are just like special people, the 0:38:12.360 --> 0:38:15.279 spouse that just you know, takes a certain person to 0:38:15.360 --> 0:38:18.200 do that. I still do not believe there's not a 0:38:18.280 --> 0:38:22.560 level of jealousy at times. I think they still get 0:38:22.640 --> 0:38:23.600 jealous sometimes. 0:38:23.960 --> 0:38:28.160 Well, for one, well, I was never jealous of any 0:38:28.200 --> 0:38:31.080 of like the actor guys I dated that had like 0:38:31.120 --> 0:38:32.120 makeup scenes. 0:38:32.440 --> 0:38:33.399 Which is so weird, right. 0:38:33.680 --> 0:38:36.440 I don't mean if you're both actors, oh okay, I 0:38:36.440 --> 0:38:38.960 mean if one is not and one is, so you 0:38:39.040 --> 0:38:40.520 might be married for twenty years and you may be 0:38:40.600 --> 0:38:43.440 the wife to an actor who's and you are that 0:38:43.480 --> 0:38:45.520 special person and you're still married, you handle it. I 0:38:45.560 --> 0:38:47.960 still think they get jealous. I mean, how could they 0:38:48.000 --> 0:38:50.080 not exactly. I think that they're lying if they say 0:38:50.120 --> 0:38:51.000 they never get jealous. 0:38:51.040 --> 0:38:54.919 I mean, we even talk to my co star because 0:38:54.920 --> 0:38:58.360 it's like people, I never met my co star's wife, 0:38:58.640 --> 0:39:01.120 but a lot of people were like. 0:39:01.080 --> 0:39:03.200 Oh my god, you and Ryan you're so cute together. 0:39:03.800 --> 0:39:07.319 And you know, I ended up having talking to his 0:39:07.320 --> 0:39:09.719 wife because I'm like, you know, people are a very 0:39:09.719 --> 0:39:10.880 invested in my love life. 0:39:10.920 --> 0:39:12.160 But also, you know. 0:39:12.239 --> 0:39:15.200 Ryan and I did have. We do have a really 0:39:15.200 --> 0:39:18.560 great connection and like you know, we're being fun and 0:39:18.640 --> 0:39:21.080 posting for lifetime and on the socials, and I think 0:39:21.360 --> 0:39:23.000 that that would be hard for anyone, which is why 0:39:23.040 --> 0:39:24.799 I talked to you know, his wife to be like, hey, 0:39:24.880 --> 0:39:27.440 like I can only imagine, like that's really hard. 0:39:27.480 --> 0:39:28.759 And people are like, oh, you should. 0:39:28.560 --> 0:39:30.279 Date him, and I'm like, you know, he's married, like 0:39:31.400 --> 0:39:35.000 and so that's like and she's very secure, Like they're 0:39:35.160 --> 0:39:37.880 very secure, like they've got great boundaries all of that, 0:39:38.000 --> 0:39:40.239 but it's still like, I bet there a little peace. 0:39:40.280 --> 0:39:41.799 Well yeah, she's like there's a little piece where it's 0:39:41.800 --> 0:39:43.360 just kind of like hey, like you know, married for 0:39:43.400 --> 0:39:44.640 like nineteen something years, you know. 0:39:44.800 --> 0:39:47.319 Yeah, so just making sure you know that. 0:39:47.440 --> 0:39:50.840 Yeah, but she's great about it. No, she's amazing. 0:39:50.880 --> 0:39:52.920 And if you guys live in La Plate Therapy is 0:39:52.960 --> 0:39:56.480 their company and they do great like food delivery stuff. 0:39:56.520 --> 0:39:58.640 So but yeah. 0:39:58.400 --> 0:40:01.359 I think it's just a no matter what I think, it's, 0:40:01.400 --> 0:40:03.880 it would be hard for anybody. 0:40:04.160 --> 0:40:05.839 Mine is. I think actor on actor is a little 0:40:05.840 --> 0:40:06.200 bit different. 0:40:06.280 --> 0:40:07.840 Yeah, I mean I just think that you know the 0:40:07.880 --> 0:40:10.600 world more, but like but at the same time, you 0:40:10.680 --> 0:40:13.360 know the world more so it would be a. 0:40:13.360 --> 0:40:15.560 Little like I see, I like boundaries. I like when 0:40:15.560 --> 0:40:17.840 people give me boundaries, and I like to get boundaries 0:40:18.320 --> 0:40:18.880 like a child. 0:40:19.000 --> 0:40:19.799 I like a child. 0:40:20.239 --> 0:40:22.279 I like to be told basically what I can't and 0:40:22.320 --> 0:40:22.640 can do. 0:40:24.840 --> 0:40:25.719 They were going to see what. 0:40:25.640 --> 0:40:28.719 The problem is. We have polar opposite situations here, right, 0:40:28.880 --> 0:40:29.279 she likes me. 0:40:30.560 --> 0:40:31.279 Yes, there you go. 0:40:31.360 --> 0:40:32.200 I don't like boundaries. 0:40:32.600 --> 0:40:32.960 There we go. 0:40:33.120 --> 0:40:37.040 Maybe that's all we got. Glad I spent thousands of 0:40:37.080 --> 0:40:38.279 dollars in therapy for that one. 0:40:41.080 --> 0:40:41.520 That's good. 0:40:41.640 --> 0:40:44.600 All right, talk to you all next week. Go have 0:40:44.640 --> 0:40:45.080 some sex.