Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio podcast.
Speaker 2: Guys, were official, We've got a sign on the back
Speaker 2: of the wall.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's official. It only took like how many years
Speaker 3: have I been doing this podcast?
Speaker 4: I'm like, so would take a lifetime.
Speaker 5: I know.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I just wanted to be I just wanted
Speaker 2: to look official. It's like I walk in and I
Speaker 2: just like stare it.
Speaker 3: I'm like, cool, It's like.
Speaker 6: It looks like a talk show set now right.
Speaker 2: That'd be like a dream. I want to have my
Speaker 2: own talk show one day.
Speaker 6: Well, manifested, I just did. Okay, there it is, Mark.
Speaker 3: How are you doing?
Speaker 5: I'm great?
Speaker 4: How are you?
Speaker 3: How am I today?
Speaker 7: I'm like, that's what I've been wondering. I've been trying
Speaker 7: to figure that out for the last five minutes since
Speaker 7: I've been here. Yeah, Catherine goes, would you say to
Speaker 7: me you okay?
Speaker 4: I think I'm yeah, and I'm like, you look stressed.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, no, I'm stressed.
Speaker 2: I'm a little stressed because I did something that I
Speaker 2: shouldn't have done.
Speaker 7: I knew there was something.
Speaker 3: No, it's the school thing.
Speaker 4: Oh that.
Speaker 5: Yeah, my mind went elsewhere too.
Speaker 3: But okay, what did you guys think I did.
Speaker 5: I don't know what I can say and what I
Speaker 5: can't say, but there's a whole bunch of stuff. And
Speaker 5: then media again this morning, and there is.
Speaker 2: Hopefully you're you're lying, Mark. I don't look at these things.
Speaker 2: I told you, I don't.
Speaker 5: I just there's a picture and I noticed the picture
Speaker 5: and had a reaction to the picture.
Speaker 4: Yeah, oh I think I saw that.
Speaker 3: I didn't see that. Nope, came out fifty ten minutes ago.
Speaker 4: I did not see that.
Speaker 3: Wow, well oh that yeah.
Speaker 4: Oh wow, we're here now.
Speaker 2: I just got really sweaty. Now I want to puke
Speaker 2: yet even either, but you know, it's really messed up.
Speaker 2: As my ex was there the same night and the
Speaker 2: photographer tried to get a picture with all three of us,
Speaker 2: and I was.
Speaker 3: Like no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 2: Nice try and everyone kind of started laughing, but I
Speaker 2: was like, not happening, No no, no, yeah, no, I
Speaker 2: mean yes, obviously we were at the same place, and
Speaker 2: when the photographer came, I just was like, and then
Speaker 2: we were all just took a photo, but going to
Speaker 2: be there. I had a feeling and yeah, that was
Speaker 2: I will I will say that was a really that
Speaker 2: that was really hard to see him there, but seeing
Speaker 2: him like flirt with other girls and I mean granted
Speaker 2: I was there as well, you know, do nothing, but
Speaker 2: I it.
Speaker 3: Was that was really it was really it was hard.
Speaker 3: It was it was really you know what it was hard.
Speaker 3: It was like it was it looks so easy for him.
Speaker 3: Does that make sense?
Speaker 4: M h makes sense?
Speaker 2: Yeah, where it's like he didn't look like a bothered
Speaker 2: him one second, and that like hurt, you know, because
Speaker 2: I was like.
Speaker 3: What's he's just untamed and on caged and he's happy.
Speaker 5: I know when you're there. It's weird to be untamed
Speaker 5: and on cage and knowing you're there. That seems I
Speaker 5: don't know, that seems weird to me.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I think I don't know. I think he's just
Speaker 7: trying to cover it up and not show it.
Speaker 3: I don't see. I don't know.
Speaker 2: I think, you know, you know, unfortunately there was boundaries
Speaker 2: around certain things and that he held a lot of
Speaker 2: resentment against me. But I'm like, well, when things happened
Speaker 2: repeatedly at certain places, it's very hard for me to
Speaker 2: trust when you go out and do those things. So
Speaker 2: I can totally see him being like finally I get
Speaker 2: to like go out and drink and be at a
Speaker 2: bar and like same.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 7: I mean, so I like enjoying his best life for sure.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And and so that was you know, and then again
Speaker 2: just like seeing him like with other women, I'm like,
Speaker 2: is that going to.
Speaker 3: Be the future? You know, one with my kids? Like
Speaker 3: that's where I go.
Speaker 2: But yeah, I mean just to see like him be
Speaker 2: so like happy and not bothered by it at all. I
Speaker 2: mean we had actually we talked. I was like, this
Speaker 2: is awkward, and he's like.
Speaker 4: Not at all.
Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, okay, Like I'm glad that
Speaker 2: he was like fine with it. But at the same time,
Speaker 2: I was like I talked to my therapist about it.
Speaker 2: I was like, just a little piece of me was
Speaker 2: kind of like it would have been nice to be like, yeah,
Speaker 2: this this is this is hard, but I'm glad we
Speaker 2: can be cordial. That's just like acknowledgement that like it
Speaker 2: might hurt a little bit.
Speaker 5: I don't know, yo, could he be really trying to
Speaker 5: go overboard to make it seem like he is fine
Speaker 5: because he's hurting and he doesn't want to show anybody that,
Speaker 5: so he just wants to be like show just act,
Speaker 5: just act like everything is totally fine because I'm fine.
Speaker 5: I want everyone to know I'm fine.
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, I could see doing that if it were.
Speaker 5: Me, Like I need to let her know that I'm
Speaker 5: fine and nothing about this bothers me.
Speaker 2: And I get that, like I mean, and I'm I'm
Speaker 2: It was so strange.
Speaker 6: I was.
Speaker 2: I was talking to my therapists about it the other day.
Speaker 2: I was like, I just what kept coming to my
Speaker 2: mind was how did I get here? How is my
Speaker 2: ex husband across the room and like this and like
Speaker 2: seeing I'm like how did I get here? Like this
Speaker 2: was like that. It wasn't that I wanted to be
Speaker 2: next to him. It's not that I wanted it's not
Speaker 2: even that I still have feelings like none of those
Speaker 2: things are that because I don't want to be back
Speaker 2: in that relationship that was a bad, toxic relationship, but
Speaker 2: just to like what I thought it was and the
Speaker 2: memories and like all it's like I'm like.
Speaker 3: How is this? Like how did I get here? And
Speaker 3: so I was.
Speaker 6: It was.
Speaker 2: It was very it was very strange. But I mean,
Speaker 2: and again, like it's not that I want him to
Speaker 2: be depressed. I don't want them to be depressed.
Speaker 3: I don't want to.
Speaker 2: I don't either, like, but it just would have been
Speaker 2: I don't know. I guess I just wanted that, like,
Speaker 2: and it was great that he was cordial and like,
Speaker 2: you know, everyone had a conversation and everyone was cordial
Speaker 2: and everyone was really nice and he was nice, and
Speaker 2: like everything was great, but it just would have been
Speaker 2: nice to not nice. But I don't know, just that like, yeah,
Speaker 2: this is acknowledgment that this is, this is a little
Speaker 2: this is this kind of that doesn't suck. It's just
Speaker 2: like this is this is awkward, but like for him
Speaker 2: to be like, no.
Speaker 4: It's great. Everything's like this is amazing.
Speaker 2: I'm like, well, or maybe he's just really happy not
Speaker 2: to be with me anymore. I think there's a piece
Speaker 2: where even like you know, he had said when we're married,
Speaker 2: like he just wants to be able to do what
Speaker 2: he wants to do, and unfortunately he doesn't, like never
Speaker 2: liked boundaries, and then when you cheat on someone repeatedly,
Speaker 2: you're gonna have boundaries even more than what a normal
Speaker 2: typical marriage of boundaries would look like. And he's just
Speaker 2: never liked boundaries ever. So it's like it was like,
Speaker 2: you know, I think he said this too. He's like,
Speaker 2: there was no way it was ever going to work
Speaker 2: because he just can't have those he can't be one down,
Speaker 2: he can't have those restrictions.
Speaker 7: Well then maybe he is happy and maybe he just
Speaker 7: needs to live that life of going out and never
Speaker 7: you know, good luck to the next girl having to
Speaker 7: deal with that, though.
Speaker 2: Well she won't have the trust issues, you know, like
Speaker 2: because he won't cheat on them. Hopefully don't look at me.
Speaker 2: But anyways, Wow, I did not see that that.
Speaker 4: Was the school thing.
Speaker 3: You were going to tell us was the school thing? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: I started.
Speaker 2: So, Okay, this is kind of like what Chelsea Handler
Speaker 2: said the other day, where you fire off a little
Speaker 2: too fast. And I know that I do this and
Speaker 2: I'm working on not doing this, but in this situation
Speaker 2: when it's around my kids, I.
Speaker 3: Fire off way too fast.
Speaker 2: So I go into so jasonly goes two half days
Speaker 2: and I even take him out. I pay for the
Speaker 2: full day, but he I take him out of the
Speaker 2: half day or like, I take him out in the
Speaker 2: middle of the day because he still naps really good
Speaker 2: at home. So I'm like, I just don't want to
Speaker 2: like mess that up, so and I kind of wasn't.
Speaker 2: Now they're for sure not going to be back if
Speaker 2: they listen to my podcast, but I won't say that.
Speaker 4: I won't say the school teachers.
Speaker 2: Right, So I was kind of like not loving the
Speaker 2: one teacher. It's just I just didn't get a good vibe.
Speaker 2: Didn't call miss missus McGillicutty sounds like great, Yeah, where
Speaker 2: did you come on?
Speaker 3: Where did you pull? Missus? Missus l This is McGillicutty.
Speaker 2: Okay, So Missus McGillicutty, just I just don't really like her,
Speaker 2: Like she just kind of like gave me like a
Speaker 2: weird vibe. But I will say I'm very highly sensitive
Speaker 2: to Jase right now because he is he's having a
Speaker 2: really tough time with transitions with the divorce. Like he
Speaker 2: on on transition days, he's he struggles really bad. He's
Speaker 2: he's super clingy, but he also is like very angry,
Speaker 2: and he's just he's mad, he's sad, he's like all
Speaker 2: the things like he just it's it's really sad to see.
Speaker 2: And so I'm just like overly sensitive about him and
Speaker 2: him being taken care of when when he's not with me.
Speaker 2: So missus McGillicutty when when I met her, I was
Speaker 2: just kind of like, but he needs to be somewhere.
Speaker 2: That's something too, because like when he's with me, like
Speaker 2: he's so clinging, and I'm like, I need at least
Speaker 2: two days where I can do some some work because
Speaker 2: he just won't let me do anything without him, like
Speaker 2: basically on me like two half days, so from nine
Speaker 2: to twelve. So I go there and he is soiled
Speaker 2: in his pea and I was like, did you go
Speaker 2: to the bath? Like he clearly went to the bathroom.
Speaker 2: I'm like, when did this happen? And she goes a
Speaker 2: little while ago, and I'm like, a little while ago,
Speaker 2: what do you mean.
Speaker 3: She's like, well, we were.
Speaker 2: Outside and then we came in and then and I
Speaker 2: was like, right, but all the kids are now like
Speaker 2: getting in their nap time position. You could have clearly
Speaker 2: changed him a little while ago. Like if it was
Speaker 2: like five minutes, I'd have been like, oh, okay, like
Speaker 2: you know, maybe ten a little while ago, Like what
Speaker 2: is a little while too. A little while is.
Speaker 7: Like twenty to thirty minutes to me, I don't know specifically,
Speaker 7: but knowing that they were outside, I.
Speaker 2: Mean the kids were sleep, they were in their cots.
Speaker 2: Jason was waiting for me. Yeah, yeah, no, so that
Speaker 2: means that he's too long. That means that he was
Speaker 2: outside and then he sat and ate his lunch, thank
Speaker 2: you lunch.
Speaker 7: But didn't bring them bring him in for some reason
Speaker 7: because of numbers, because they have to have a certain amount.
Speaker 4: Of kids with teachers or whatever. But the fact that
Speaker 4: they sat through lunch.
Speaker 2: So they go outside lunch down for now, so I wouldn't.
Speaker 2: So they're like, well, we can change him now, and
Speaker 2: she goes to like touch him. I was like, do
Speaker 2: not touch my son. And then I just grabbed him
Speaker 2: and I was just like, we are not coming back.
Speaker 2: So then because I'm like it's my son, he soiled
Speaker 2: in his own piss, Like no, So I go to
Speaker 2: the front office. I was like, I did not like
Speaker 2: miss mcgilly called it whatever mcgilly cutty, I don't like
Speaker 2: her now and a little while ago is unacceptable like
Speaker 2: not happening. So I was like, we're not coming back.
Speaker 2: Well now I have had nowhere to take him. I've
Speaker 2: called every freaking preschool. We are like I'm in like
Speaker 2: the waitless for like the sixth seventh kid and I'm like,
Speaker 2: I need help, Like we're like the craziest we've ever been.
Speaker 2: I've got auditions, I've got like I mean, there's so
Speaker 2: much going on a single mom in it like losing
Speaker 2: my mind, and I'm like, I need these two days
Speaker 2: for like sanity and to get stuff done. And so
Speaker 2: I've called a bunch of places. I've emailed a bunch
Speaker 2: of places and they're like, well, you're like tenth in line.
Speaker 2: So I email them. I email the Old school and
Speaker 2: I was like, tail between my legs. I was like,
Speaker 2: I was like, I apologize for my reaction and can
Speaker 2: I come back please?
Speaker 5: Did you acknowledge your tail between your legs?
Speaker 6: Because that's funny if you did that.
Speaker 3: No, like, no joke. I can read you the email. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I was like that. I mean I know imas pulled
Speaker 3: up for you right now.
Speaker 2: They tell if you're to come back, I mean you
Speaker 2: have to be like, look, I was a little bit
Speaker 2: of an outrageous bitch, but at the same time like,
Speaker 2: but they have to also, it's not accept I would
Speaker 2: like to talk to the teacher.
Speaker 3: So this would happened.
Speaker 2: Literally subject line Jace tail between legs do dot that
Speaker 2: I need him out?
Speaker 3: Of his house. Hal, could he just come back.
Speaker 2: Until he can move to a different class, until afferent class?
Speaker 2: So because I want him in the next class, like
Speaker 2: the goal is to get him to the next class.
Speaker 2: Like for the other teacher. Sure, apparently you guys don't like.
Speaker 4: No, I don't have an issue with her. She's just
Speaker 4: not as warm. I think she teaches. She's good for
Speaker 4: what she's good for. She teaches them independents.
Speaker 2: So anyways, I'm stressed out. So but they have not
Speaker 2: emailed me back yet because the're probably like truck for you.
Speaker 2: So this is where I haven't responded. Usually they always
Speaker 2: respond to me the best part. So I told my therapist,
Speaker 2: I was like, I gotta work on my actions a
Speaker 2: little bit. I think I just needed to. I should
Speaker 2: have just taken a breath and said, don't touch my son,
Speaker 2: and then I'm gonna not say to quit leave, And
Speaker 2: then what I should have done then was just said
Speaker 2: I would like to have a conversation so this doesn't
Speaker 2: happen in the future. But instead I've now screwed myself
Speaker 2: and I am and.
Speaker 7: Now that's going to be the teacher warm that you
Speaker 7: have to see every day.
Speaker 3: They are, Yeah, they are.
Speaker 4: It's fine.
Speaker 6: This is a lesson.
Speaker 5: This is a good lesson learned.
Speaker 7: Don't Chelsea teach us anything the other day. Look when
Speaker 7: it's my kids, I know, I get it.
Speaker 4: I did the same thing. I get it.
Speaker 2: Look if it was, like I get it, you soiled
Speaker 2: in your pa like Hope with Catherine, put it depend on.
Speaker 4: I get it. Kids.
Speaker 7: It's unacceptable. I mean, I'm not gonna defend. I mean
Speaker 7: it's unacceptable.
Speaker 4: For sure.
Speaker 3: A little while is unacceptable.
Speaker 7: I mean, honestly, if they have an accident, you have
Speaker 7: to as soon as possible. You can even get a
Speaker 7: floater to come in and do something.
Speaker 4: Keep as soon as possible.
Speaker 3: It needs to be changed.
Speaker 5: Do you ever rash or anything?
Speaker 2: I was so flustered, I didn't even know. I just
Speaker 2: like coddled them like a little baby, which.
Speaker 7: Like you bothered old thing.
Speaker 3: Mama loves you.
Speaker 2: I will never bring you back to you because he's
Speaker 2: my son and I'm obsessed with him and I love him.
Speaker 4: But I agree with you.
Speaker 7: He has to be out of the house because you
Speaker 7: have help here in the house.
Speaker 2: Oh no, Like I needed to do something earlier today
Speaker 2: and like I have someone helping, and she's amazing and
Speaker 2: I love her so much. But the problem is is
Speaker 2: like he hears me. So he comes in the room
Speaker 2: and I'm trying to do this thing for and for
Speaker 2: you know, content stuff, and I'm just like and then
Speaker 2: I feel bad. So I'm like, okay, buddy, like come here.
Speaker 2: But then it stresses me out. So then when you know,
Speaker 2: and then she comes and she's like, and I got
Speaker 2: the podcast and I want to get you know, I'm.
Speaker 3: Pumped up for the guests we have today.
Speaker 2: So it's just i mean, look, it's all champagne problems,
Speaker 2: but it's also and now Mark, there's a People magazine
Speaker 2: thing on me. Now I'm just like all freaking faster.
Speaker 2: I don't even know what to do right now. Can
Speaker 2: you imagine though, of us three got in a photo,
Speaker 2: what were they thinking thinking? Well, guess what. I was like,
Speaker 2: ain't gonna but they were like all gone for it.
Speaker 2: I was like, I was like, do you know that
Speaker 2: you're about to take a.
Speaker 3: Photo with Like what are you? What are you thinking?
Speaker 4: Got a chance?
Speaker 3: Holy balls?
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, I'm super pumped because we have Mike Vogel
Speaker 2: coming on the show and he's from Sex Life, and
Speaker 2: I just wow, there's just a lot to talk to
Speaker 2: him about. So let's take a break and then get
Speaker 2: him on.
Speaker 6: Hi.
Speaker 3: I just have to tell.
Speaker 2: You that I I first fell in love with you
Speaker 2: as Johnny, Like Johnny, come on, you see help I
Speaker 2: have Okay, Johnny like he's like remember when she was
Speaker 2: like Octavia Spencer, she was so scared because like the
Speaker 2: husband's coming home and then she like drops her groceries,
Speaker 2: but like Johnny like helps pick up the groceries, like
Speaker 2: Johnny's amazing.
Speaker 5: Member.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I was. I was the one, the one person
Speaker 6: that didn't get to play a racist. It was fantastic
Speaker 6: in that movie. What a beautiful, beautiful cast of characters,
Speaker 6: beautiful message. To be a part of that was really neat.
Speaker 2: So yeah, yeah, I know, I mean like you crushed
Speaker 2: it and you're just like yeah, I was like I
Speaker 2: want I like find me a Johnny like I wanted
Speaker 2: Johnny like just like a nice.
Speaker 6: That was doing that was that was the was Uh.
Speaker 6: We filmed that in Greenwood, Misissippi, and that I always
Speaker 6: loved the style. But that was sort of as a
Speaker 6: kid from Philadelphia, it's you know, you're you're Yankee eyzed.
Speaker 6: But but I but I got to Mississippi, and I'm like,
Speaker 6: all right, this, I need this in my life. And
Speaker 6: uh and so a couple of years later we moved
Speaker 6: moved to Nashville here, so it was great.
Speaker 2: How do you like Nashville? So were you living in LA? Like,
Speaker 2: did you did you go Philly to La, La to Nashville.
Speaker 6: Yeah, Philly to LA for twelve years and then here
Speaker 6: in Nashville for eight So I can say I was
Speaker 6: here before the mass exodus of of LA people to
Speaker 6: to Nashville.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'll I'll let you have that one, because I
Speaker 2: was kind of saying, like I did, I was Detroit
Speaker 2: to LA for about twelve years and then came here
Speaker 2: about what five years.
Speaker 3: Ago, six years ago? So I feel like we can.
Speaker 2: We can say that like everyone in the last two
Speaker 2: years can just like suck it.
Speaker 6: That's right, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, we're
Speaker 6: og It's it's uh, it's interesting. It's an interesting question.
Speaker 6: Do I like Do I like Nashville post exodus or
Speaker 6: or pre exodus? It's a tough one. It's it will
Speaker 6: always be an infinitely better town than Los Angeles. And
Speaker 6: I love Nashville and I certainly love Franklin but there
Speaker 6: are flavors of Los Angeles still, you know, now creeping in.
Speaker 6: Uh and I just keep saying, well, I'm going to
Speaker 6: have to move further out. I don't know.
Speaker 3: Well, that's like.
Speaker 2: It's kinda be hard for you because Catherine's and she's
Speaker 2: a you were born and raised here, so it's like
Speaker 2: you probably hate all these other people.
Speaker 7: I am a unicorn, but yeah, I know it's kind
Speaker 7: of terrible.
Speaker 4: It is changed.
Speaker 2: What makes it like is what makes it bad? For
Speaker 2: like these are like us coming in here.
Speaker 6: A lot. Let me count the ways, right, well, let.
Speaker 1: Me start with how much a I'm just gonna I mean,
Speaker 1: I mean it's been nice that there's like yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: nicer restaurants and stuff like that, Like I'll take that,
Speaker 1: and just the traffic and the growth, and then.
Speaker 3: You know, it's just people, it's their energy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, So how many kids?
Speaker 4: Three?
Speaker 6: Ages twelve? And my son turned eight on Friday? So yeah, yeah,
Speaker 6: I'm old dad. Now that's crazy to me. My gen
Speaker 6: Z daughter frequently reminds me of how out of touch
Speaker 6: I am. Dad. Listen to ski Mask the slump God.
Speaker 6: I'm sorry, what's his name? Slump God? Okay, is that yeah, so,
Speaker 6: but it's yeah, it's it's fun. And I love, love,
Speaker 6: love my kids. They're awesome and and Nashville has provided
Speaker 6: them an awesome I'm staring at our horse out of
Speaker 6: the back pasture and it's just provided a wonderful, wonderful
Speaker 6: upbringing for the.
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, for sure.
Speaker 2: I mean I've got two and I remember at the
Speaker 2: time when I was married, we were like, we got
Speaker 2: to get out of La Like this is just I
Speaker 2: want my daughter to be able to ride her bike
Speaker 2: to her friend's house and like not get you know,
Speaker 2: trip over, like yes whatever. So yeah, right, there's a
Speaker 2: lot of things we could trip over, but yeah, I can.
Speaker 6: Make a trip over out there.
Speaker 2: Okay, but I have to. So I I heard all
Speaker 2: about sex life and then I was like, all right,
Speaker 2: I'm going to finally do it.
Speaker 6: And I watched it.
Speaker 3: I jumped in.
Speaker 2: But the funniest part was is because I'm a I'm
Speaker 2: a newly divorcee and I'm sitting there and I'm like
Speaker 2: I pour my like glass of wine and sitting on
Speaker 2: the couch, I'm folding laundry. And the episode, the first
Speaker 2: episode is like you know this, like Mom, She's just
Speaker 2: like and I.
Speaker 3: Was like, I feel so sick, just like I was
Speaker 3: just like, oh my god.
Speaker 2: But then what the crazy thing is is like when
Speaker 2: I'm watching it, but I'm like, you know, I'm like,
Speaker 2: you're a great husband in it too. So it's like
Speaker 2: just watching like the whole parallels of everything. It's so interesting.
Speaker 2: But when you read the script, and especially with that
Speaker 2: first like pilot episode where you kind of like, oh, wow,
Speaker 2: like I do this to my wife, like I need
Speaker 2: to like kind of show her more and attention in
Speaker 2: a way like that, you don't realize that you're not
Speaker 2: doing it until you're kind of set in that role.
Speaker 6: You're you're It's what I love about the show is
Speaker 6: the the yeah, I've been married for eighteen years, and
Speaker 6: it's you don't realize the ways that you get complacent
Speaker 6: and then you get lazy and you The beauty of
Speaker 6: any long term relationship is that you develop a shorthand
Speaker 6: with one another, and that's the ease of knowing someone
Speaker 6: that well is awesome and it's what you're there for.
Speaker 6: At the same time, you develop an ease and a
Speaker 6: shorthand that doesn't allow one or the other or both
Speaker 6: to express maybe certain things that they're feeling in certain
Speaker 6: ways that their needs are being unmet, or that they're
Speaker 6: not feeling seen, that they're not feeling hurt, and you
Speaker 6: don't realize the way that that can that that can
Speaker 6: were up over a long haul in a marriage and
Speaker 6: it comes out maybe as you know, as as Sarah's
Speaker 6: character in the in the show is I just I
Speaker 6: need to have fun again. I need to have But
Speaker 6: the root of that may lie somewhere in in this
Speaker 6: thing that in that relationship where Cooper, where her husband
Speaker 6: has not has not seen and validated certain things in
Speaker 6: her that she and it may be things about herself
Speaker 6: she doesn't even know that she needs to feel validated
Speaker 6: about until all of a sudden it's like boom, there
Speaker 6: it is. This is a problem. Now, this is a thing.
Speaker 6: So I think that has struck a chord with a
Speaker 6: lot of people. You know, the show certainly leans heavily
Speaker 6: on the physicality. But I think, like I think it's
Speaker 6: it's so funny, I said throughout a lot of the press,
Speaker 6: the show's misleading. You know, we live in a we
Speaker 6: live in a world where you can add access pornography
Speaker 6: and someone's perfect life instantaneously, and you can get whatever
Speaker 6: payoff you want. But the real hard work of any
Speaker 6: relationship is doing the work learning you know, love making
Speaker 6: is a language all to itself, and learning how to
Speaker 6: keep that fresh and interesting over the long haul of something.
Speaker 6: There's a challenge, and that's a person's hand I want
Speaker 6: to shake at the end of all that. And so,
Speaker 6: you know, you put a bunch of halfway decent people
Speaker 6: to look at on screen, and that becomes like a distraction.
Speaker 6: But I think it's a distraction from the deeper things
Speaker 6: that are happening, you know, which, as you've said, you know,
Speaker 6: you kind of clue in on. I think it's resonated
Speaker 6: because especially heading through the pandemic and lockdown like we
Speaker 6: just have, a lot of people have been forced to
Speaker 6: stay home, stare at each other in the face and say,
Speaker 6: were you again we get here? And did we ever
Speaker 6: have this figured out? And some people have said, well,
Speaker 6: it's time to figure it out, and other people have said, nah,
Speaker 6: forget it. It's easy to do this somewhere else, and
Speaker 6: people will take from it what they want. You know,
Speaker 6: I got so many messages from people who said, my
Speaker 6: husband and I sat down and had our first hard
Speaker 6: conversation in years and we're excited for where that where
Speaker 6: this is going to go, And other people said, I
Speaker 6: can't have that conversation, you know. So it's just interesting
Speaker 6: how it kind of impacts different people different ways.
Speaker 2: Did you have a conversation or something like, oh, hey,
Speaker 2: I've noticed like through this, like with with your relationship
Speaker 2: with your wife, that like where you've noticed where you've
Speaker 2: become complacent in certain areas.
Speaker 6: Oh, one hundred percent, one hundred percent. You know again,
Speaker 6: you have you have a certain way of being and
Speaker 6: I think, as guys, and I can only speak for guys,
Speaker 6: we have the mentality of wanting to be celebrated and
Speaker 6: wanting to be seen and known is not as big
Speaker 6: a deal for us, and so we project that, I
Speaker 6: think a lot of times into our relationships, and it's
Speaker 6: a constant reminder. I had someone in college tell me
Speaker 6: he said, fellas, how many of you who are married?
Speaker 6: Which I wasn't on of course, but he said, how
Speaker 6: many of you that are married are still dating your wives?
Speaker 6: Everyone started to laugh. He said, no, no, no, I'm dead serious.
Speaker 6: How many of you are still dating your wives because
Speaker 6: of the minute you stop your relationships over And I
Speaker 6: think we run through that process early on of dating
Speaker 6: and making the commitment, and then we forget that that's
Speaker 6: an ongoing thing that then has to continue to evolve
Speaker 6: and develop as the relationship goes on.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean in eighteen you said eighteen years you've
Speaker 2: been married, And.
Speaker 3: How long have you been married?
Speaker 4: Fourteen?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean that's just like a long time because
Speaker 2: you're changing and you're growing and you're you know, it's
Speaker 2: just like to have that. You got to have that
Speaker 2: like awesome communication because if not, I mean, you're like
Speaker 2: you said, like during the pandemic, you're like, wait, huh,
Speaker 2: who who are you?
Speaker 3: Like I don't even know who you are?
Speaker 4: M hmm.
Speaker 2: Yeah, speaking of you know, first of all, congrats you're
Speaker 2: incredible in the like in the role and I love
Speaker 2: the first season. Were you a little like nervous telling
Speaker 2: your wife about it? Like, I know, you're an actual
Speaker 2: You've done a bunch of stuff, you've been you know,
Speaker 2: but I mean this is like a totally different level of.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's hard. It's hard, and we had a lot
Speaker 6: of she you know, she read the scripts along with me,
Speaker 6: and and it's hard. It continues to be hard. It's
Speaker 6: not it's it takes a special special person to be
Speaker 6: the spouse of someone in this industry. And it's the
Speaker 6: same with a lot of industries. I've said, you know,
Speaker 6: I've often compared it, while I'm in no way comparing
Speaker 6: myself to a first responder or a soldier or someone
Speaker 6: like that, But it takes a certain a certain strength
Speaker 6: of a spouse to be married to someone who when
Speaker 6: they leave and walk out that front door in the morning,
Speaker 6: or when they go on deployment, you don't know if
Speaker 6: they're coming back. And there's plenty of people who would
Speaker 6: look at that and say, yeah, that's not a that's
Speaker 6: not a life that I think I can I can stomach.
Speaker 6: That's not a life that I think I can that
Speaker 6: I can sign up for. And the tough part about
Speaker 6: this business is it's why I think you see so
Speaker 6: many relational issues is over the long haul of a career,
Speaker 6: there's there's so many different ways that that things can
Speaker 6: go sideways. If you're not being diligent and being on
Speaker 6: top of your your relationship, it's easy for things to
Speaker 6: get away from you. And she is fortunately an unbelievable,
Speaker 6: unbelievable woman. She's certainly certainly the better of these two ads.
Speaker 7: So speaking of telling your wife, what about telling your kids, Like,
Speaker 7: how do you have that conversation with because I'm scared
Speaker 7: to watch it because I'm afraid my twelve year old
Speaker 7: son is going to go on my Netflix and see
Speaker 7: that I'm watching sex Life.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's a good question.
Speaker 4: I have watched it. Take it off the Netflix.
Speaker 6: It certainly is a difficult and it's a subject that
Speaker 6: we had to broach that we knew we knew heading
Speaker 6: into this, but I think kind of where we sided ish,
Speaker 6: there's still fourteen year old is coming into a place
Speaker 6: where it's it's hard hiding certain things from her, but
Speaker 6: also wanting for me being and I think for my
Speaker 6: wife as well, being involved in a show where it's
Speaker 6: done through the female gaze for the first time, you
Speaker 6: know ever, you know, normally these things are done through
Speaker 6: the male gaze and giving voice to female desire and uh,
Speaker 6: you know, the issues within a woman of wanting wanting
Speaker 6: to be seen and known and realized, and wanting that
Speaker 6: from my daughters someday for their relationships and knowing that
Speaker 6: that the world will will heep on its own stuff
Speaker 6: on them and and and hopefully to be involved in
Speaker 6: something again. And this is. If I have one reservation
Speaker 6: to the show, it's it's that that it becomes about
Speaker 6: the physicality when you know. What's misleading about it to
Speaker 6: me is so much people.
Speaker 2: Are looking at it like, oh my god, it's a
Speaker 2: soft porn. It's like, no, it's actually like this wife
Speaker 2: is like, you know right, So yeah.
Speaker 6: It's also this place of we show. Someone had said
Speaker 6: to me in the process of the press. They were like, dude,
Speaker 6: what does it feel like playing the dope, playing the
Speaker 6: you know, playing the guy? They can't figure it out?
Speaker 6: I said, I'm sorry, I said, I don't. I don't
Speaker 6: quite see it that way. In fact, I see him
Speaker 6: as all of our experiences, I said, because the mind
Speaker 6: blowing sex that she's having. As I sit here and
Speaker 6: say it quietly, I'm staring at my daughter on the
Speaker 6: back porch, that answers my question. You know, the mind
Speaker 6: blowing sex that she's having with her ex boyfriend. Any
Speaker 6: of us that have been in relationship for any amount
Speaker 6: of time, Yeah, that's there sometimes, and that probably was
Speaker 6: there a lot in the beginning. Maybe maybe it wasn't,
Speaker 6: But like anything, it takes work, and if you think
Speaker 6: it's going to stay like that all the time you're
Speaker 6: sadly misguided and it becomes about the very deeper things.
Speaker 6: And so so I said to her, I said, I
Speaker 6: actually quite like Cooper's fumbling and stumbling and getting squirted
Speaker 6: in the face with breast milk, because I think all
Speaker 6: of that is real having lived those moments and in fact,
Speaker 6: between between a husband and wife, between two spouses, those
Speaker 6: are the things that deep in love because there are
Speaker 6: moments that anyone can go out and have a romp
Speaker 6: and have have a wild night, but it's those intimate,
Speaker 6: awkward moments that only two people like that could share
Speaker 6: that actually for me get logged logged away in the
Speaker 6: in the vault of that's pretty stick and cool to
Speaker 6: share something that awkward and that intimate with someone that
Speaker 6: deepens love.
Speaker 2: So sure, yeah, no, I agree with you, and especially
Speaker 2: like where you want the show to be known for.
Speaker 2: And I respect that a lot. And I think like
Speaker 2: even circling back on like you know, the with the wife,
Speaker 2: like with your wife is you know, we were having
Speaker 2: a conversation just the other night about how you know,
Speaker 2: talking to people and it's like, hey, so like in
Speaker 2: my roles, like I'm going to have to kiss people
Speaker 2: and like are you comfortable with that? And trying to
Speaker 2: explain to someone that doesn't understand that world can be
Speaker 2: hard because I'm like, it's so, it's not really like
Speaker 2: you're you have to have certain boundaries when you're on
Speaker 2: set and offset, and but like onset, it's like not
Speaker 2: like after I made out with the person, it's like, hey.
Speaker 3: What are you having for lunch?
Speaker 2: Like do you want to get the oysters or do
Speaker 2: you want to get the like calamar Like it's like, yeah,
Speaker 2: it's really not. It's only when you step outside of
Speaker 2: the boundaries of going in the trailer or you know,
Speaker 2: reading out or just like and having those conversations or
Speaker 2: talking too much about your problems in your marriage or whatever, like,
Speaker 2: that's going to start blurring the lines. So I think
Speaker 2: as long as you can have the healthy boundaries, it's
Speaker 2: it's it can work, you know, obviously it can.
Speaker 6: And it's it's also like it's hard to describe to
Speaker 6: someone this is like a handshake, yeah, you know. And
Speaker 6: what's what's more interesting is the most intimate thing that
Speaker 6: we do on a set is a stage. Just that's
Speaker 6: because everything we're doing in this show is camera angles
Speaker 6: and uh, all of that stuff. It's far less intimate
Speaker 6: than a stage case. That's the one thing that we
Speaker 6: do that is that any actor does that is probably
Speaker 6: the most the most similar to real life and not.
Speaker 6: And I think you've got to set up you have
Speaker 6: to police yourself when you have to set those boundaries
Speaker 6: if you plan on having any sort of any sort
Speaker 6: of long lasting relationship. Yeah, where you're where you're honoring,
Speaker 6: where you're honoring the other.
Speaker 3: Person, for sure. Okay, moving on to collection.
Speaker 2: So it's available now theaters that you on demand, all
Speaker 2: digital platforms.
Speaker 3: You play a debt collector.
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, tell me.
Speaker 2: Tell me about the collection. Give me, give me because
Speaker 2: I want to. I want to watch it, but I
Speaker 2: need to know. Tell me, tell me what it is,
Speaker 2: what's about.
Speaker 6: So it's it's a look into it's a look into
Speaker 6: the high stakes world of debt collection. We've all gotten
Speaker 6: those annoying phone calls. I still get them now in
Speaker 6: my forties of hey, your college debt is outstanding. No
Speaker 6: it's not. No it's not. But you see the angle
Speaker 6: and as I as I found out, the world is
Speaker 6: far seedier and far more menacing than I realized. As
Speaker 6: you get into the higher, the higher dollar targets, but
Speaker 6: it centers around Alex Petipher and I started this debt
Speaker 6: collection business. And what I loved about the film is Alex.
Speaker 6: I was like, you get to be there and be
Speaker 6: pretty and beautiful and be the love interest and I
Speaker 6: don't have to deal with that for once, and I
Speaker 6: just love it. I can be a complete jerk and
Speaker 6: I can be brash and uh and not have to
Speaker 6: There's a relief in not having to service the love
Speaker 6: story at the same time. So he had a lot
Speaker 6: of the heavy lifting. But our the high value target
Speaker 6: that we kind of go after turns out to be
Speaker 6: a woman that he falls head over heels for, and
Speaker 6: it just complicates the line of priorities between he and
Speaker 6: I and her and how that all breaks down here.
Speaker 3: I'm so excited.
Speaker 2: Well, guys, make sure to watch sex Life and Collection
Speaker 2: and follow along with Mike Bogel because he is awesome.
Speaker 2: And yeah, thank you so much for coming on Wine Down,
Speaker 2: appreciate you, thank you.
Speaker 3: Oh he's so sweet.
Speaker 4: He is he's so cute.
Speaker 3: He's so cute. He's so cute, He's adorable.
Speaker 2: Can I reminds me of Ryan, Like just there's like
Speaker 2: good guys like married for like eight very much.
Speaker 3: Ryan's been married for what nineteen years? My old cool star.
Speaker 2: It's like they're good guys, great guys, good guys out there.
Speaker 3: They're just all married.
Speaker 4: True, they've only married for the those twenty years.
Speaker 6: You know.
Speaker 2: It's like they're good actors. I mean, I know I
Speaker 2: love that. Do you think you could ever marry an actor?
Speaker 6: Like?
Speaker 4: Could you?
Speaker 3: If Nick was like?
Speaker 2: Well, maybe it's different because I think it's it's hard
Speaker 2: for people that weren't than want to. It's like whoa whoa, whoa,
Speaker 2: whoa whoa. But I don't know, could you be okay
Speaker 2: watching Nick make out with someone?
Speaker 4: Probably not?
Speaker 2: No, probably not, but like you see me do it
Speaker 2: and you know it's not anything No.
Speaker 4: But yeah, probably not. M I'll just leave it at that.
Speaker 7: I mean Nick has always said that, like he would
Speaker 7: never want to go on the road, like as a musician,
Speaker 7: you know, we're so used to music business. He's like,
Speaker 7: there's no way, Like women are throwing themselves like I
Speaker 7: would just never put myself in that position.
Speaker 2: H yeah, I mean I mean the boundaries is a
Speaker 2: tough thing. Yeah, I mean that's not being hones set.
Speaker 4: You'd like to think that you would be good at that.
Speaker 7: But you know, I don't know. And I think that
Speaker 7: even the people that are just like special people, the
Speaker 7: spouse that just you know, takes a certain person to
Speaker 7: do that. I still do not believe there's not a
Speaker 7: level of jealousy at times. I think they still get
Speaker 7: jealous sometimes.
Speaker 2: Well, for one, well, I was never jealous of any
Speaker 2: of like the actor guys I dated that had like
Speaker 2: makeup scenes.
Speaker 3: Which is so weird, right.
Speaker 7: I don't mean if you're both actors, oh okay, I
Speaker 7: mean if one is not and one is, so you
Speaker 7: might be married for twenty years and you may be
Speaker 7: the wife to an actor who's and you are that
Speaker 7: special person and you're still married, you handle it. I
Speaker 7: still think they get jealous. I mean, how could they
Speaker 7: not exactly. I think that they're lying if they say
Speaker 7: they never get jealous.
Speaker 2: I mean, we even talk to my co star because
Speaker 2: it's like people, I never met my co star's wife,
Speaker 2: but a lot of people were like.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, you and Ryan you're so cute together.
Speaker 2: And you know, I ended up having talking to his
Speaker 2: wife because I'm like, you know, people are a very
Speaker 2: invested in my love life.
Speaker 3: But also, you know.
Speaker 2: Ryan and I did have. We do have a really
Speaker 2: great connection and like you know, we're being fun and
Speaker 2: posting for lifetime and on the socials, and I think
Speaker 2: that that would be hard for anyone, which is why
Speaker 2: I talked to you know, his wife to be like, hey,
Speaker 2: like I can only imagine, like that's really hard.
Speaker 3: And people are like, oh, you should.
Speaker 2: Date him, and I'm like, you know, he's married, like
Speaker 2: and so that's like and she's very secure, Like they're
Speaker 2: very secure, like they've got great boundaries all of that,
Speaker 2: but it's still like, I bet there a little peace.
Speaker 2: Well yeah, she's like there's a little piece where it's
Speaker 2: just kind of like hey, like you know, married for
Speaker 2: like nineteen something years, you know.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so just making sure you know that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but she's great about it. No, she's amazing.
Speaker 2: And if you guys live in La Plate Therapy is
Speaker 2: their company and they do great like food delivery stuff.
Speaker 3: So but yeah.
Speaker 2: I think it's just a no matter what I think, it's,
Speaker 2: it would be hard for anybody.
Speaker 3: Mine is. I think actor on actor is a little
Speaker 3: bit different.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I mean I just think that you know the
Speaker 7: world more, but like but at the same time, you
Speaker 7: know the world more so it would be a.
Speaker 2: Little like I see, I like boundaries. I like when
Speaker 2: people give me boundaries, and I like to get boundaries
Speaker 2: like a child.
Speaker 3: I like a child.
Speaker 2: I like to be told basically what I can't and
Speaker 2: can do.
Speaker 4: They were going to see what.
Speaker 5: The problem is. We have polar opposite situations here, right,
Speaker 5: she likes me.
Speaker 3: Yes, there you go.
Speaker 6: I don't like boundaries.
Speaker 3: There we go.
Speaker 2: Maybe that's all we got. Glad I spent thousands of
Speaker 2: dollars in therapy for that one.
Speaker 4: That's good.
Speaker 3: All right, talk to you all next week. Go have
Speaker 3: some sex.