1
00:00:01,080 --> 00:00:03,600
Speaker 1: What's up, you guys. Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices.

2
00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:06,560
Speaker 1: On this week's episode, we are joined by Debbie Brown,

3
00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:10,720
Speaker 1: who is the Chief Impact Officer at Choprah. She's also

4
00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:16,200
Speaker 1: a mama author an overall just amazing human. On this

5
00:00:16,239 --> 00:00:19,040
Speaker 1: week's episode, you can expect to hear about healing your

6
00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:24,840
Speaker 1: inner child, identifying trauma, why children need someone to blame, what.

7
00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:29,120
Speaker 2: Man in history is to blame for the unempowered woman and.

8
00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:33,840
Speaker 1: I get a little emotional talking about a personal inner

9
00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:38,159
Speaker 1: child realization that just happened. So make sure you guys

10
00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:41,159
Speaker 1: tune in. I hope you guys enjoyed this episode featuring

11
00:00:41,320 --> 00:01:04,600
Speaker 1: Debbie Brown. Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm

12
00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:09,119
Speaker 1: Erica and I'm Mila and it's the first week of April.

13
00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:11,920
Speaker 3: Happy spring hot.

14
00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:14,759
Speaker 1: I know y'all love when I sing, and nobody loves

15
00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:16,360
Speaker 1: it when you say you love when you sing? Okay,

16
00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:20,000
Speaker 1: you are don't You are fucking off key all the time.

17
00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:21,560
Speaker 3: Don't get me started.

18
00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:25,760
Speaker 2: See you guys, what I tell you, don't let me

19
00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:29,160
Speaker 2: freestyle on my voice. Okay.

20
00:01:29,319 --> 00:01:34,160
Speaker 1: So it's April, and you know we just are we're

21
00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:36,640
Speaker 1: getting out of money March, which I hope you guys

22
00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:40,840
Speaker 1: enjoyed last month because we had some amazing guests. I

23
00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:46,559
Speaker 1: feel very much more empowered about my finances. I'm really

24
00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:49,440
Speaker 1: excited because we are going to be joining Loose Warrior

25
00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:54,160
Speaker 1: for her Wealth Rules Everything Around Me course starting on

26
00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:56,520
Speaker 1: May first and second. I'm pretty sure it's already sold out,

27
00:01:56,960 --> 00:02:00,480
Speaker 1: but we are. She is partnering with us US and

28
00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:03,600
Speaker 1: giving four scholarships to four of our listeners to join

29
00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:06,720
Speaker 1: that class, and it's going to be amazing. So if

30
00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:09,640
Speaker 1: you want to learn more about finances and feel more empowered,

31
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,440
Speaker 1: first of all, follow Loose Warrior because she's the shit.

32
00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:17,080
Speaker 1: And secondly, make sure you keep look out for her

33
00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:19,120
Speaker 1: next course because I think she's going to do another round,

34
00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:22,920
Speaker 1: and look out for that giveaway because you could be

35
00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:24,000
Speaker 1: in class with us.

36
00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:27,000
Speaker 2: We're students. We're students again. Yeah, I want to take

37
00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:29,600
Speaker 2: a class. I know I have for like two years.

38
00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:32,480
Speaker 2: I'm very excited to start here with my finances. I'm

39
00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:36,640
Speaker 2: feeling very empowered this April. It's spring. It's time to

40
00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:39,840
Speaker 2: birth some shit. Erica and I are birthing lots of shit,

41
00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:44,040
Speaker 2: so amazing, so many things. So I'm feeling I'm feeling springy.

42
00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:46,520
Speaker 2: I'm feeling ready to give birth to all of our

43
00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:49,600
Speaker 2: things and run with it so I can chill by

44
00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:50,440
Speaker 2: the pool in the summer.

45
00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:52,080
Speaker 1: You're gonna get you on that yap, baby.

46
00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:54,640
Speaker 3: We're getting on this fucking yacht if it's the last

47
00:02:54,639 --> 00:02:56,160
Speaker 3: thing I do. Can't wait.

48
00:02:57,040 --> 00:02:59,160
Speaker 1: Well, I'm really excited because this month, I you know,

49
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:01,720
Speaker 1: there's not necessarily a theme per se, but I do

50
00:03:01,919 --> 00:03:06,320
Speaker 1: want to focus on wellness, tapping back into our wellness,

51
00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:08,239
Speaker 1: checking in with ourselves. You know, at the beginning of

52
00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:10,920
Speaker 1: the year, we talked a lot about manifestation, and we

53
00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:14,040
Speaker 1: talked a lot about you know, just healing. And so

54
00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:18,120
Speaker 1: I'm just really excited because we have a special guest

55
00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:20,800
Speaker 1: here who I feel like is going to like help,

56
00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:23,799
Speaker 1: you know, kickstart this month off really in a really

57
00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:27,280
Speaker 1: amazing way. So Debbie Brown, welcome to the show.

58
00:03:27,639 --> 00:03:31,400
Speaker 3: Thank you. I'm so happy to be here with you. Guys. Welcome.

59
00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:34,520
Speaker 1: And if you guys don't know who Debve is, well

60
00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:36,480
Speaker 1: you will by the end of this episode, and you

61
00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:41,200
Speaker 1: should anyway. She is the chief Impact Officer at Chopra

62
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:44,800
Speaker 1: and she has her own podcast called Dropping Gems with

63
00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:47,960
Speaker 1: Debbie Brown, which is amazing. Like I was listening to

64
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:49,640
Speaker 1: it on the car ride here and I was like,

65
00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:52,040
Speaker 1: screen recording. Should I like to come back to this?

66
00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:55,880
Speaker 1: I was like yes, like what so make sure you

67
00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:57,960
Speaker 1: check that out. So, but welcome deVie, Thank you so

68
00:03:58,040 --> 00:03:58,960
Speaker 1: much for joining us.

69
00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:02,320
Speaker 4: Thank you big fan of you guys. Really happy to

70
00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:04,080
Speaker 4: be here and talk about all of the things.

71
00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:07,440
Speaker 1: So I know, DEBI from like a hundred years ago,

72
00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:10,000
Speaker 1: not one hundred. We're still young, but so young prior

73
00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:16,160
Speaker 1: to children I just infant prior to children's And it's

74
00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:18,760
Speaker 1: been so cool to watch your journey. And I know

75
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:20,720
Speaker 1: we talked a little bit before the episode and you

76
00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:23,520
Speaker 1: said kind of like you've always been kind of, you know,

77
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:25,640
Speaker 1: trying to tap in into this space, but you kind

78
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:28,599
Speaker 1: of didn't always feel like the space to do it,

79
00:04:28,680 --> 00:04:31,400
Speaker 1: or like yeah you be judged or something. Yeah, can

80
00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:32,960
Speaker 1: you tell our listeners a little bit about you?

81
00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:37,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, so I mean speaking to that like that, I'll

82
00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:39,560
Speaker 4: start there. You know, I think when I think about

83
00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:42,040
Speaker 4: being a seeker and just kind of being on.

84
00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:44,520
Speaker 5: This path, part of what lent itself to that.

85
00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:46,440
Speaker 4: And I don't know if anyone will identify with this,

86
00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:48,960
Speaker 4: but like I was the only child raised by a

87
00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:51,839
Speaker 4: single mom, and I was a latchkey kid for many years,

88
00:04:51,839 --> 00:04:55,440
Speaker 4: and like by nature of that, you go inside, you know,

89
00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:57,440
Speaker 4: like I was my only playmate as a kid.

90
00:04:57,680 --> 00:04:59,359
Speaker 1: You know what, I never thought about that. I was

91
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,520
Speaker 1: just I was only child till I was like thirteen.

92
00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:02,839
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah.

93
00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:05,320
Speaker 4: And so usually, especially if you have a single parent,

94
00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:07,960
Speaker 4: it lends itself to kind of like a high level

95
00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:10,400
Speaker 4: of maturity really young, and you're navigating with a lot

96
00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:13,719
Speaker 4: of adult language, like adult understanding, even if you're not

97
00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:15,960
Speaker 4: ready for it. So it kind of lends itself to

98
00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:21,000
Speaker 4: like a lot of natural ability to be in self inquiry,

99
00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:24,880
Speaker 4: which I think is the foundation of our spiritual journey.

100
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:26,040
Speaker 5: It's curiosity.

101
00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:28,480
Speaker 4: That's how we get to change, that's how we get

102
00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:30,120
Speaker 4: to grow, that's how we get to heal. We get

103
00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:34,280
Speaker 4: really curious about ourselves or our situations or how our

104
00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:37,560
Speaker 4: life is unfolded, and we start seeking out the things.

105
00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:38,320
Speaker 5: That we feel called to.

106
00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:41,440
Speaker 4: So that like to that extent, like I, you know,

107
00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:43,400
Speaker 4: I would consider myself I was the kid that, like

108
00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:47,640
Speaker 4: the teenager that had self help books didn't apply most

109
00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:47,800
Speaker 4: of it.

110
00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:50,040
Speaker 1: Wait were they chickens through to the teenage song are?

111
00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:52,600
Speaker 1: Because that was it was.

112
00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:56,880
Speaker 4: Like the seven highly effective, you know, traits of teens and.

113
00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:58,479
Speaker 1: You were reading that as a teenager.

114
00:05:58,520 --> 00:06:01,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're very mature. Wow I was cold. This whatetererever?

115
00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:04,000
Speaker 3: That too?

116
00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:05,760
Speaker 5: Shout out to duality.

117
00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:07,800
Speaker 4: But no, you know I think, I mean it took

118
00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:10,240
Speaker 4: me years to apply as I think is the thing, right,

119
00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:13,040
Speaker 4: Like we get the tools, but it's like when we

120
00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:15,359
Speaker 4: embody is just about our divine timing.

121
00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:18,080
Speaker 5: So like, intellectually I had the tools.

122
00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:20,640
Speaker 4: Didn't always use them, but then as I got older,

123
00:06:20,640 --> 00:06:23,000
Speaker 4: they started sinking into my heart and started being like

124
00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:25,520
Speaker 4: a way of being. But yeah, I started my career

125
00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:28,240
Speaker 4: in entertainment. That's how we met in the entertainment world

126
00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:32,240
Speaker 4: many moons ago, and I was a radio personality for

127
00:06:32,279 --> 00:06:34,600
Speaker 4: a while, did some TV, mostly worked in hip hop

128
00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:38,520
Speaker 4: for close to fifteen years, and it was amazing.

129
00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:41,440
Speaker 5: It fed my curiosity in so many ways. I loved

130
00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:42,120
Speaker 5: the music.

131
00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:47,359
Speaker 4: But then you know, I really felt called to spend

132
00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:51,520
Speaker 4: like my three D life more connected to what my

133
00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:54,080
Speaker 4: five D life looked like. So like I wanted to

134
00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:58,640
Speaker 4: make the world that I was in for my work

135
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:02,520
Speaker 4: on Earth to also be more representative about how I

136
00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:05,039
Speaker 4: actually spent my private time and like what I actually

137
00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:05,760
Speaker 4: thought about and.

138
00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:07,800
Speaker 5: What I was actually interested in it.

139
00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:10,720
Speaker 4: It got harder, like I don't even in this moment,

140
00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:12,160
Speaker 4: like I don't watch television at all.

141
00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:13,120
Speaker 5: I listened to.

142
00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:16,080
Speaker 4: The same three songs over and over frequency music like

143
00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:19,800
Speaker 4: so it was just harder to stay or to feel

144
00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:22,680
Speaker 4: like I had to really be enthusiastic about things that

145
00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:26,160
Speaker 4: didn't feel like they're of interest to me in that moment.

146
00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:27,960
Speaker 5: So I took the leap.

147
00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:33,160
Speaker 4: Almost almost five years ago, I started my business Karma Bliss,

148
00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:38,400
Speaker 4: and then the wellness kind of revolution really started happening

149
00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:39,120
Speaker 4: and deepening in.

150
00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:40,280
Speaker 5: That time span.

151
00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:43,000
Speaker 4: And now I take up space in a multitude of ways,

152
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:45,680
Speaker 4: but yeah, I just mostly underneath it all, I feel

153
00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:47,640
Speaker 4: grateful for the opportunity.

154
00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:48,800
Speaker 5: To lead a really curious life.

155
00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:51,400
Speaker 1: That's amazing. And I know that you're a mother too,

156
00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:53,640
Speaker 1: and you have a little boy, how well is same?

157
00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:56,920
Speaker 3: He will be three in May, when like, what a

158
00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:57,960
Speaker 3: lucky child.

159
00:07:58,280 --> 00:08:00,960
Speaker 1: You've right to have a mom that's done so much work,

160
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:03,520
Speaker 1: you know, and like I think for me and Mila too,

161
00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:06,160
Speaker 1: like we I think being a parent allows you this

162
00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:10,160
Speaker 1: unique opportunity to kind of like do everything that do

163
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,800
Speaker 1: everything over like question the things that you grew up

164
00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:18,360
Speaker 1: knowing and change that perspective for your child, give them

165
00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:21,800
Speaker 1: like more space and more grace in so many ways,

166
00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:26,320
Speaker 1: whether that's you know, and play time, you know, boys

167
00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:29,600
Speaker 1: playing with Marbie's and not being judged, or like little

168
00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:35,120
Speaker 1: girls wearing crop tops and not like you know, sexualizes, yeah,

169
00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:38,200
Speaker 1: or mom smoking weed and it not being the end

170
00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:41,319
Speaker 1: of the motherfucking world, or.

171
00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:43,560
Speaker 2: Just giving your child the gift of like taking a

172
00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:47,760
Speaker 2: time out, identifying your feelings and labeling your emotions and

173
00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:51,160
Speaker 2: like where our parents are like, right, you're.

174
00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:55,840
Speaker 3: Fine, You're okay, right, you are alive. So it's like, what

175
00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:56,559
Speaker 3: a gift to be.

176
00:08:56,480 --> 00:08:58,400
Speaker 2: Able to have a mom that's aware and is doing

177
00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:01,360
Speaker 2: the work and then offer that because I think that's yeah,

178
00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:03,120
Speaker 2: that has been a big part of our journey, like

179
00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:06,360
Speaker 2: figuring ourselves out and then in turn and being like,

180
00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:09,240
Speaker 2: oh shit, we have this huge responsibility to not only

181
00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:13,040
Speaker 2: figure ourselves out, but figure it out as quickly as possible,

182
00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:15,520
Speaker 2: because we are an example of someone else, yeah, who

183
00:09:15,559 --> 00:09:17,719
Speaker 2: inevitably will have to be figuring it out in their

184
00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:20,440
Speaker 2: thirties if we don't start doing the work now so

185
00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:21,800
Speaker 2: they can start doing the work now.

186
00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:24,760
Speaker 4: Oh my god, that yeah, and it's like, you know

187
00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:27,439
Speaker 4: what feels so good being a parent and like parenting

188
00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:32,559
Speaker 4: with such thoughtfulness and such consideration. It's like every time

189
00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:35,720
Speaker 4: we extend that kind of grace and dignity and unconditional

190
00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:38,319
Speaker 4: love to our kid, we're just feeding it right back

191
00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:42,079
Speaker 4: to ourselves. It's instantly filling our own hearts and healing

192
00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:45,640
Speaker 4: wounds from childhood or giving us permission to like expand

193
00:09:45,679 --> 00:09:48,160
Speaker 4: into the fullest versions that we are right now. You know,

194
00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:53,920
Speaker 4: it's wild. Like before I had a child, I legitimately

195
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:56,360
Speaker 4: used to think people over exaggerated about how much they

196
00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:57,599
Speaker 4: love their kids.

197
00:09:57,720 --> 00:09:59,719
Speaker 1: You know what I mean, Like, Okay, we got it.

198
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:03,360
Speaker 4: I got It'd be like that my kid is my

199
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:05,600
Speaker 4: world and I'd be like, I get it.

200
00:10:05,679 --> 00:10:07,079
Speaker 3: You gave birth, it's a child.

201
00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:09,520
Speaker 2: And now I'm like, oh my god, this is the

202
00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:14,920
Speaker 2: deepest taking life right, it's the greatest hit my sacred child.

203
00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:19,320
Speaker 3: Like obsessed with being a mother, I could cry at

204
00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:20,360
Speaker 3: the drop of the dime.

205
00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:24,280
Speaker 1: At the bat. Right now I'm literally free.

206
00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:26,760
Speaker 3: She's frollicking in the sand.

207
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:30,160
Speaker 1: Yeah they're watering nothing. I know.

208
00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:35,960
Speaker 4: And see, you know what was like the greatest gift

209
00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:38,400
Speaker 4: for me and being a mom? I feel like it

210
00:10:38,559 --> 00:10:42,480
Speaker 4: healed when you stay open to it. Because motherhood is

211
00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:45,360
Speaker 4: also one of the most triggering experiences you'll ever have

212
00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:48,760
Speaker 4: in your life. Like you feel judged by your child,

213
00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:50,520
Speaker 4: like you know, like if your kid is mad at

214
00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:53,040
Speaker 4: you or doesn't want kisses, it's me, what's wrong with me?

215
00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:55,640
Speaker 4: You know, by yourself. You feel judged by yourself, judge

216
00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:58,760
Speaker 4: by your own parents. Yes, the guilt, you know. It's like,

217
00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:01,439
Speaker 4: oh God, everyone is running to check on you with

218
00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:03,600
Speaker 4: your pregnant and then the second the baby is here,

219
00:11:03,679 --> 00:11:06,280
Speaker 4: like my organs are still all over the place, like.

220
00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:08,560
Speaker 3: Oh, you're doing it wrong, and you're still doing it wrong.

221
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:10,360
Speaker 5: And you're like, oh, but how's the baby. Why aren't

222
00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:12,400
Speaker 5: you doing more for the baby? Where is she?

223
00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:15,400
Speaker 1: You're ware and she's ware. Why aren't you together?

224
00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:19,720
Speaker 5: It is so it's oh God, so many things.

225
00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:22,959
Speaker 4: But to it's like, like, my child looks exactly like me, right,

226
00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:26,840
Speaker 4: like my son. We have the exact same face, still.

227
00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:27,360
Speaker 5: My whole face.

228
00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:32,079
Speaker 4: And it's interesting because through loving him, especially as a newborn,

229
00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:34,920
Speaker 4: I was able to love myself more deeply, Like it

230
00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:39,360
Speaker 4: really brought forward for me all any any like dormant

231
00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:43,480
Speaker 4: againstness I had for myself, any feelings of not being

232
00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:46,200
Speaker 4: in full acceptance of myself bounced off him. It's like

233
00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:48,000
Speaker 4: even the small things that we might see in our

234
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:51,320
Speaker 4: faces and be like, oh I don't like that about me,

235
00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:53,320
Speaker 4: I see it in his face and I'm like, this

236
00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:55,880
Speaker 4: is the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen. So I'm like,

237
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:59,120
Speaker 4: I need to be reflecting this same kind of energy

238
00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:02,319
Speaker 4: back to myself. I have to love me the same

239
00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:03,400
Speaker 4: way that I love him.

240
00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:06,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, no, I love that. It's so true. It does.

241
00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:10,920
Speaker 1: It does tap into those dormant parts of yourself like

242
00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:14,360
Speaker 1: you are like maybe ignored or maybe you didn't even

243
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:18,360
Speaker 1: realize we're there, and you're like, oh shit, yeah, that's

244
00:12:18,679 --> 00:12:19,480
Speaker 1: that's not healed.

245
00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:22,600
Speaker 2: It also gives you the opportunity, Like I've said this before,

246
00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:25,960
Speaker 2: but when you would do anything for your child, and

247
00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:28,600
Speaker 2: you know, they mess up or they fall down, and

248
00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:31,400
Speaker 2: you encourage them and you're there to their every every

249
00:12:31,679 --> 00:12:32,679
Speaker 2: you know, back and call.

250
00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:35,160
Speaker 3: And then it dawned on me like I have to

251
00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:37,800
Speaker 3: have the mother myself. I have the mother.

252
00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:39,840
Speaker 2: I have to attend to myself the way I attend

253
00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:41,760
Speaker 2: to my child and like be as gracious and as

254
00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:44,080
Speaker 2: gentle and like you're going to fall down and you're

255
00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:44,360
Speaker 2: going to.

256
00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:45,680
Speaker 3: Get back up, and that's okay.

257
00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:48,480
Speaker 2: And I think it's easy to apply that to when

258
00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:51,240
Speaker 2: you're mothering a child because we're just we're innately we

259
00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:55,360
Speaker 2: know to do that hopefully, but we forget to do

260
00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:58,040
Speaker 2: that for ourselves, and then we beat ourselves up so much,

261
00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:01,120
Speaker 2: and it's like a lot of us are just children.

262
00:13:01,679 --> 00:13:03,520
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm a child all the time. I'm like,

263
00:13:03,559 --> 00:13:08,160
Speaker 2: who the fuck gave me? And human I'm scared. I'm like,

264
00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:12,880
Speaker 2: oh no, just to eat. Yeah, she's six, and I'm still.

265
00:13:12,679 --> 00:13:13,480
Speaker 3: Like, that's my daughter.

266
00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:16,840
Speaker 2: I'm like, that's my daughter, that's my daughter, that's my daughter,

267
00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:20,439
Speaker 2: and mother, that's my daughter.

268
00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:23,680
Speaker 1: That sounds like us talking about boyfriends.

269
00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:27,360
Speaker 3: Were like, I have a boyfriend. We have a boo boyfriend.

270
00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:28,720
Speaker 1: We don't have boyfriends anymore.

271
00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:31,720
Speaker 3: But so that one time that we did, we got really.

272
00:13:31,559 --> 00:13:34,400
Speaker 1: Strange time because that's how aligned we are. Got boyfriends

273
00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:35,800
Speaker 1: at the same time, pretty much broke up at the

274
00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:38,320
Speaker 1: same time. It was it was like we had to

275
00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:40,960
Speaker 1: practice saying that. I feel like that sometimes with Ironman,

276
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:42,600
Speaker 1: I don't feel like I obviously know I've a child

277
00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:45,040
Speaker 1: and she's mine, but sometimes I look at her and

278
00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:45,439
Speaker 1: I'm like.

279
00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:49,559
Speaker 3: How are we here? We're here, We're still here.

280
00:13:49,679 --> 00:13:50,080
Speaker 1: We're good.

281
00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:53,320
Speaker 3: I'm not a teenager, like what Yeah, And I think.

282
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:55,640
Speaker 1: About like my younger self, and I was so adamant

283
00:13:55,679 --> 00:13:58,520
Speaker 1: about never having kids, like I was really like, I

284
00:13:58,559 --> 00:14:00,480
Speaker 1: did not want kids at all. It's funny. I was

285
00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:02,640
Speaker 1: having this conversation with my brother because he was judging

286
00:14:02,679 --> 00:14:06,080
Speaker 1: my parenting and he was like, he was like, that's

287
00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:07,000
Speaker 1: because you're two this and.

288
00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:09,840
Speaker 3: That, but which brother, my twenty one year.

289
00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:12,760
Speaker 2: Old Oh of course, of course, someone with no children, no,

290
00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:15,160
Speaker 2: neither one of my brothers, no, right, no experience it.

291
00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:18,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, And he was like he was talking it was

292
00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:20,560
Speaker 1: her eating habits, because my daughter's eating habits. Oh my god,

293
00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:24,000
Speaker 1: they're just very annoying. She's just very Eric is ashamed,

294
00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:28,360
Speaker 1: very we're making tiny progress, okay. But she had turkey

295
00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:30,960
Speaker 1: pasta the other day. No, it wasn't there, but she

296
00:14:31,080 --> 00:14:34,200
Speaker 1: liked it and it was sated. But he was just like,

297
00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:35,800
Speaker 1: you're you know, you're to this, you're to that. And

298
00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:39,440
Speaker 1: I was like, one day, when you have kids, you'll understand, okay,

299
00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:41,080
Speaker 1: And he was like, I'm not having kids. I was

300
00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:43,600
Speaker 1: like and That's what I said, and he's like, no

301
00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:45,840
Speaker 1: for real, and I was like, no, for real, That's

302
00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:49,120
Speaker 1: what I said, Like with that Gusto behind it too,

303
00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:53,160
Speaker 1: like hell no. And now having one obviously, I couldn't

304
00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:57,000
Speaker 1: imagine not having one and just totally shifts so much

305
00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:58,960
Speaker 1: in you and make sure you have to tap into yourself,

306
00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:01,280
Speaker 1: and I I think that's what. I don't know if

307
00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:03,320
Speaker 1: we wanted to do the taro or we can do

308
00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:04,760
Speaker 1: it at the end, but I think this is a

309
00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:07,040
Speaker 1: good segue into what I wanted to talk to you about,

310
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:14,120
Speaker 1: which was healing your inner child and how important it

311
00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:18,520
Speaker 1: is and how it can be a lifelong journey. I

312
00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:20,720
Speaker 1: don't know if there's just like this one switch that

313
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:23,720
Speaker 1: like just turns on and suddenly like all the traumas

314
00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:26,440
Speaker 1: or all the things that you've encountered as a child,

315
00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:30,120
Speaker 1: or just you know they're healed. But it's something that

316
00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:32,480
Speaker 1: I think it's important to tap into and check in

317
00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:37,640
Speaker 1: on often. And I was listening to your episode about

318
00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:41,520
Speaker 1: meeting your inner child, and I was listening and I

319
00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:43,760
Speaker 1: totally connected to when you were saying that, like you're

320
00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:47,080
Speaker 1: the strong friend and that people lead on you, and

321
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:51,120
Speaker 1: you know, you started you started that, like valuing yourself

322
00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:52,440
Speaker 1: by how much you could.

323
00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:55,120
Speaker 3: Take much hurt you could take? Yeah, how much?

324
00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:58,760
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh my god, like we do that.

325
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:01,960
Speaker 1: I mean, not just the strong friend, but like women

326
00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:04,240
Speaker 1: women It's fine.

327
00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:08,600
Speaker 4: I'm okay, you know what, Like you know what I

328
00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:10,080
Speaker 4: think about all the time when it comes to that.

329
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:12,680
Speaker 4: It's like, who was the first man that hated women?

330
00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:15,880
Speaker 4: And how did he train everyone else to take his ways?

331
00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:19,160
Speaker 4: You know, It's like what was the shift? Because women

332
00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:21,800
Speaker 4: were always at the forefront of society and the forefront

333
00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:22,440
Speaker 4: of households.

334
00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:24,200
Speaker 5: We were the healers, we were the leaders.

335
00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:28,440
Speaker 4: And then at some point things shifted, and then all

336
00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:31,080
Speaker 4: books were written with women in a diminished role or

337
00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:32,960
Speaker 4: not mentioned at all, you know, and all of a

338
00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:34,440
Speaker 4: sudden women became.

339
00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:36,520
Speaker 3: Some research.

340
00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:42,760
Speaker 1: There's gotta be a trail back to this nigga. Okay, okay, I.

341
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:44,760
Speaker 2: Broke this nigga's heart, and it's the world has never

342
00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:45,400
Speaker 2: been the same.

343
00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:53,400
Speaker 3: Oh my god, Facebook group, Alexander, who the fuck did it?

344
00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:54,360
Speaker 6: Yo?

345
00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:56,720
Speaker 4: I think about it all the time because like even

346
00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:58,760
Speaker 4: in the little things, like I'm one of those people

347
00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,920
Speaker 4: that will like have an idea and then be like

348
00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:03,360
Speaker 4: so committed to it and go down all the rabbit holes.

349
00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:06,359
Speaker 4: But it's like little things, right, like when even we

350
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:09,680
Speaker 4: think of, like in Christianity, how Mary Magdalene.

351
00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:09,840
Speaker 1: Is referred to.

352
00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:14,760
Speaker 4: We're supposed to believe that she was a prostitute. That

353
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:18,080
Speaker 4: was never written or mentioned. She was one of Christ's disciples,

354
00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:21,440
Speaker 4: you know. And it's like the six in the six

355
00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:23,639
Speaker 4: hundreds or the I think it was like the early

356
00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:27,359
Speaker 4: sixteen hundreds, one of the popes was giving an address

357
00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:30,720
Speaker 4: and put one line in it that referred to her

358
00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:34,760
Speaker 4: as like a woman of the night. Unsubstantiated. It was

359
00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:37,720
Speaker 4: never in recorded history that this was truth, and then

360
00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:40,200
Speaker 4: the men of the world ran with it, and ever

361
00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:42,560
Speaker 4: since that's been part of the belief system that that's

362
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:45,480
Speaker 4: who she was. It was like one guy started a

363
00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:47,600
Speaker 4: rumor about a woman and then okay, well.

364
00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:50,160
Speaker 1: We got that billions we found him t.

365
00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:54,080
Speaker 3: Wow.

366
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:55,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's so interesting.

367
00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:58,199
Speaker 3: But it's like we think about shocking Actually, yeah, I

368
00:17:58,200 --> 00:17:59,840
Speaker 3: think there's a rid of a lot of evil. Is

369
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,320
Speaker 3: the root of a hurt man? Oh my gosh, there's

370
00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:03,680
Speaker 3: a lot of evil letics.

371
00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:06,960
Speaker 4: And then we all get saddled with this this idea

372
00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:10,800
Speaker 4: of martyrdom being the basis of our value system, you know.

373
00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:12,600
Speaker 5: And it's like martyrdom.

374
00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:16,720
Speaker 4: Is always self sacrificing, it's never allowing help, it's taking

375
00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:19,879
Speaker 4: pride in all of the ways in which you are,

376
00:18:20,119 --> 00:18:25,200
Speaker 4: you know, considered really considered just a tool and service

377
00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:28,080
Speaker 4: to everyone else, you know. And it's like that somehow

378
00:18:28,119 --> 00:18:32,040
Speaker 4: became the fabric of what the family structure in this

379
00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:34,479
Speaker 4: country was supposed to look like, what women were supposed

380
00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:38,120
Speaker 4: to look like. And it's like, nah, nah, not no more.

381
00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:41,159
Speaker 4: I'm not taking on any of that mess. Like my

382
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:43,240
Speaker 4: love for myself comes first.

383
00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:47,359
Speaker 1: Yes, No, I totally agree. And I do feel like

384
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:51,080
Speaker 1: there's like, I mean, I feel like throughout history there

385
00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:53,920
Speaker 1: have been times where women there's been like this renaissance happening,

386
00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:56,160
Speaker 1: right and I feel like right now there's a black

387
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:59,920
Speaker 1: renaissance happening. There's also like a renaissance of like female

388
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:03,280
Speaker 1: energy coming together and feeling more empowered and being able

389
00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:06,800
Speaker 1: to say no, I don't believe that history, actually, sir,

390
00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:10,280
Speaker 1: I don't. That doesn't sound about I'm good.

391
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:11,280
Speaker 3: That doesn't work for me.

392
00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:14,720
Speaker 1: It's very off brand for me about Pope the sixth

393
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:16,760
Speaker 1: to me, don't do.

394
00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:18,159
Speaker 3: Some researching it back to you.

395
00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:25,720
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, it's true. It's true. I've been talking

396
00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:27,680
Speaker 2: to this guy who's like has a lot of rules,

397
00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:32,040
Speaker 2: and recently he was trying to like really really justify

398
00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:37,320
Speaker 2: why he should be able to like have a main

399
00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:41,919
Speaker 2: woman and a wife and like also have concubines and

400
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:44,560
Speaker 2: like women on the side, but like but his wife

401
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:47,760
Speaker 2: should not, you know. And I was just like he

402
00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:50,080
Speaker 2: was going into science saying there's more women and there

403
00:19:50,119 --> 00:19:52,480
Speaker 2: are men and like all these things, and I was

404
00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:55,720
Speaker 2: just like, I respect that for you, and I that

405
00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:58,760
Speaker 2: is really that sounds really good for you. I don't

406
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:02,320
Speaker 2: know if you'll ever find anyone who's gonna be cool

407
00:20:02,359 --> 00:20:03,320
Speaker 2: with those rules.

408
00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:06,439
Speaker 3: I mean, I hear your science and all, but it

409
00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:08,879
Speaker 3: just doesn't This is not a brand for me.

410
00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:13,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like I'm not gonna I don't have concubines too.

411
00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:15,920
Speaker 3: It's just not the basic.

412
00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:18,160
Speaker 2: Fairness in it all just doesn't add up like one

413
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:22,640
Speaker 2: plus one just you know, equals to sounds a little stupid,

414
00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:25,760
Speaker 2: but it's just I mean, I know that works for

415
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:28,480
Speaker 2: some people, and I'm not you know, I appreciate anybody

416
00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:31,080
Speaker 2: who knows what they want, but I'm at the place

417
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:34,639
Speaker 2: finally in my life hopefully forever, but that that's not

418
00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:35,320
Speaker 2: what I want.

419
00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:37,880
Speaker 3: And you're cool, and that's cool for you.

420
00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:40,639
Speaker 2: And if you find someone who's aligned in that, great,

421
00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:43,480
Speaker 2: but it's not me, you know, like, and I'm cool

422
00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:46,880
Speaker 2: being cool here and we could stay here, but anything

423
00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:49,600
Speaker 2: further the concubines down the line is not gonna work out.

424
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:53,359
Speaker 2: But for so long, women just are like, okay, you

425
00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:55,240
Speaker 2: know whatever, you're gonna love me, you're gonna take me,

426
00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:58,880
Speaker 2: you're gonna provide. Okay, no, no, there will be no

427
00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:02,719
Speaker 2: more mekas. Okay, Like it's okay to submit, but if

428
00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:05,120
Speaker 2: it doesn't align for you, that's okay too.

429
00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:07,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

430
00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:09,480
Speaker 5: It's okay to search yourself.

431
00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:11,119
Speaker 4: For what feels like the right thing for you and

432
00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:14,080
Speaker 4: not be dictated to like, this is our one life

433
00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:16,800
Speaker 4: as this version of ourselves. I've been here a million times,

434
00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:19,960
Speaker 4: but this is my one life as this person, you know.

435
00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:23,040
Speaker 4: And it's like, that's the thing that I think is

436
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:27,520
Speaker 4: the most ridiculous of what we were robbed of. It

437
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:31,240
Speaker 4: is the understanding that we always have choice as women,

438
00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:33,919
Speaker 4: We always have choice, and we have been trained and

439
00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:36,760
Speaker 4: forced and pushed to believe that we're supposed to be

440
00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:38,919
Speaker 4: waiting around to be chosen, and it's like, no, I

441
00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:42,840
Speaker 4: do the choosing. I do the choosing. I choose who

442
00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:45,159
Speaker 4: I want. I also choose what my circumstance is going

443
00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:48,160
Speaker 4: to be. And at any moment we can make another choice.

444
00:21:48,520 --> 00:21:52,760
Speaker 4: There's never such a thing as like truly missed opportunity

445
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:55,919
Speaker 4: or misstability to change your life. In every moment there

446
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,959
Speaker 4: is choice. There'll be the parameters that come with that,

447
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:02,199
Speaker 4: you know, which sometimes can be quite challenging, but you

448
00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:05,080
Speaker 4: always have the chance to recreate your life, or recreate

449
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:07,159
Speaker 4: your partnership, or recreate your parenthood.

450
00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:10,560
Speaker 1: Yes, I agree, I agree. There's never a like. I

451
00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:12,720
Speaker 1: think sometimes even women they're like, who are maybe like

452
00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:15,800
Speaker 1: in their fifties or in their late forties, or kids

453
00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:17,800
Speaker 1: or teenagers, they're like, it's too late for me, And

454
00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:21,120
Speaker 1: it's absolutely not. It's not too late. It's never too late.

455
00:22:21,119 --> 00:22:23,440
Speaker 1: I don't care how old you are. There's always a

456
00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:28,040
Speaker 1: time to check in with yourself and change the trajectory

457
00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:30,400
Speaker 1: of your life or change your views, or you know,

458
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:31,920
Speaker 1: heal from your.

459
00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:35,080
Speaker 2: Childhood or I feel like almost like attaching to something

460
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:37,960
Speaker 2: too deeply with like, I think that's an issue we

461
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:41,359
Speaker 2: attach to our beliefs even and then we feel a

462
00:22:41,359 --> 00:22:46,199
Speaker 2: responsibility to keeping them up, Yeah, to keep them up,

463
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:48,200
Speaker 2: to always be that way, to always agree with them,

464
00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:50,320
Speaker 2: to withhold like, you know, I'm a Christian, I can't

465
00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:53,520
Speaker 2: ever fucking be a Jew, you know, Like I'm this

466
00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:56,960
Speaker 2: you good, That's what I'm saying. Oh, people have so

467
00:22:57,040 --> 00:22:59,719
Speaker 2: much attachment to their beliefs that almost there's like a

468
00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:02,760
Speaker 2: sense of embarrassment if you want to fucking change your mind.

469
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:05,000
Speaker 3: But guess what, you can change your mind.

470
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:06,760
Speaker 2: You can wake up every day and change your mind

471
00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:09,560
Speaker 2: no matter what it is, in love, in life and parenthood.

472
00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:11,359
Speaker 2: If it doesn't work for you, if it no longer

473
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:12,720
Speaker 2: serves you.

474
00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:13,360
Speaker 3: You could peace out quickly.

475
00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:17,159
Speaker 2: There's no obligation to always believe one thing, to always

476
00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:19,560
Speaker 2: be one way we are in fact, like if you

477
00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:22,600
Speaker 2: don't change, if you don't evolve, if you're not growing,

478
00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:26,000
Speaker 2: you know, you can't expect to be the same person

479
00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:28,760
Speaker 2: who believes and feels the same way forever. I mean,

480
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:30,879
Speaker 2: I mean, catch me next week. I might be a

481
00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:32,160
Speaker 2: wife with three concubines.

482
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:32,640
Speaker 3: Who knows.

483
00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:36,480
Speaker 2: I doubt that, but you know what I mean it

484
00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:39,359
Speaker 2: just like we have such an attachment as women, what

485
00:23:39,359 --> 00:23:41,560
Speaker 2: we're supposed to look like and fit so pretty into

486
00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:44,800
Speaker 2: this perfect box and what that looks like, and sometimes

487
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:47,720
Speaker 2: that makes us lose a great sense of who we are. Yeah,

488
00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:50,240
Speaker 2: and it could look different from woman to woman, like

489
00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:53,760
Speaker 2: me and Ericas are crazy together, but we're also very different,

490
00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:57,520
Speaker 2: you know, And I just I want to celebrate the

491
00:23:57,560 --> 00:24:01,040
Speaker 2: differences and the change and the evolution, the growth, because

492
00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:03,679
Speaker 2: I don't think women have had the opportunity to be

493
00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:05,160
Speaker 2: in celebration of that enough.

494
00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:08,639
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, we're the more powerful species obviously, you know.

495
00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:11,240
Speaker 4: It's like in many ways, you know, And I think

496
00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:14,479
Speaker 4: that's that's really the greatest lie I ever told. And

497
00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:17,359
Speaker 4: that's probably why that first man, whoever he is, like

498
00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:20,640
Speaker 4: what would his name even be, you know, like asshole,

499
00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:24,480
Speaker 4: That's probably why he turned everybody against us back in

500
00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:24,840
Speaker 4: the day.

501
00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:25,280
Speaker 1: You know.

502
00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:28,879
Speaker 4: But it's like, we have to remember our personal power.

503
00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:32,760
Speaker 4: And that has been the greatest tool of manipulation of

504
00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:36,119
Speaker 4: women through history is leading women to believe that we

505
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:38,679
Speaker 4: are meek, leading women to believe that we are in

506
00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:40,880
Speaker 4: need of being led and that we're not the leaders.

507
00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:47,200
Speaker 3: And that narrative starts so early, so you know, you.

508
00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:50,280
Speaker 1: Know, obviously, yeah, that is an amazing time for women

509
00:24:50,359 --> 00:24:53,640
Speaker 1: and us feeling more empowered and.

510
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:55,440
Speaker 3: Tracy back from Pope six beyond.

511
00:24:57,840 --> 00:25:00,320
Speaker 1: But like as far as like you know, he your

512
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:03,280
Speaker 1: inner child, I think I think some people, some people

513
00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:07,040
Speaker 1: I think feel healed, right, yeah, And but as an

514
00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:09,000
Speaker 1: outsider looking I know, I've met people they're like, I'm good,

515
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:10,159
Speaker 1: I'm healed. I healed from that, and.

516
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:17,919
Speaker 7: I'm like, oh honey, yeah, maybe even including myself, I

517
00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:20,359
Speaker 7: feel like sometimes I feel like I've healed from things

518
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:22,320
Speaker 7: and then it takes something a triggering moment for me

519
00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:23,960
Speaker 7: to be like, oh shit, you.

520
00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:25,800
Speaker 1: Know, so what are some what do you think are

521
00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:29,359
Speaker 1: some signs that maybe you have some inner healing and

522
00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:31,160
Speaker 1: child inner healing to go.

523
00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:33,880
Speaker 4: Through, you know, I think, and that like that's such

524
00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:36,640
Speaker 4: a beautiful point about this like idea of like are

525
00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:39,160
Speaker 4: we fully healed? Because what I think it really is

526
00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:42,720
Speaker 4: is in every moment, there's opportunity to deepen the healing,

527
00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:45,119
Speaker 4: you know, And it's like it's so important to not

528
00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:47,600
Speaker 4: look at it as like, oh.

529
00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:49,000
Speaker 5: Why am I getting so bothered by this?

530
00:25:49,119 --> 00:25:51,080
Speaker 4: Like I spent so much time I thought I was healed,

531
00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:53,960
Speaker 4: and it's like you are, and you were and you

532
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:57,439
Speaker 4: did diligent, beautiful work which arrived you at this moment,

533
00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:00,479
Speaker 4: the opportunity to get to an even deeper life that

534
00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:02,920
Speaker 4: is clearing you and cleansing you and giving you more

535
00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:03,760
Speaker 4: personal power.

536
00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:04,040
Speaker 3: You know.

537
00:26:04,119 --> 00:26:07,439
Speaker 5: It's like some of the stuff that.

538
00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:10,880
Speaker 4: We are working through is very literally our life's curriculum,

539
00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:15,240
Speaker 4: you know. So many of the situations that for us

540
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:18,400
Speaker 4: are like the deepest traumas or like the repeated patterns.

541
00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:21,399
Speaker 4: It's there because that is actually the curriculum we signed

542
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:24,679
Speaker 4: up to know and to learn on. I believe this

543
00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:27,720
Speaker 4: adventure on earth that we chose to have, so there's

544
00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:31,120
Speaker 4: always more healing available. And I think anybody that stands

545
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:36,920
Speaker 4: in a space of againstness, like no, I'm not willing

546
00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:39,240
Speaker 4: to talk about that because I already healed it, that

547
00:26:39,359 --> 00:26:41,800
Speaker 4: shows that there's charge, you know. And I think the

548
00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:44,400
Speaker 4: way to investigate where your wounds are are to see

549
00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:45,639
Speaker 4: what do I have charge?

550
00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:45,960
Speaker 1: About?

551
00:26:46,359 --> 00:26:49,240
Speaker 4: What am I avoiding even in the tiniest ways, you know.

552
00:26:49,359 --> 00:26:52,160
Speaker 4: And it's like the biggest gift is just being able

553
00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:55,200
Speaker 4: to dive into it. Like I get so excited when

554
00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:57,800
Speaker 4: I have more shadow work to do. Like if I

555
00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:00,320
Speaker 4: find myself crying about something, I'd.

556
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:03,120
Speaker 5: Be like, oh, there's a gift inness for me. Okay,

557
00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:04,960
Speaker 5: I'll sit in it, you know, like.

558
00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:06,800
Speaker 1: Oh, that's a beautiful way I look at it.

559
00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:09,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, because it's like, you know, it wouldn't be there

560
00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:10,919
Speaker 4: if I didn't need to look at it. So how

561
00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:13,159
Speaker 4: much time do I want to waste? Right when it

562
00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:15,159
Speaker 4: comes up? Do I want to try to run from it?

563
00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:15,960
Speaker 3: Do? So?

564
00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:18,639
Speaker 4: The more I do that, the more it stays with me,

565
00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:22,200
Speaker 4: right versus all right, you popped up for a reason,

566
00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:25,159
Speaker 4: divine timing. Let me sit down, let me look at this,

567
00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:28,320
Speaker 4: let me explore it, let me think about it, and

568
00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:30,320
Speaker 4: then once you decide to dive into it.

569
00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:31,680
Speaker 5: It's so easy to dissolve.

570
00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:34,880
Speaker 4: But I definitely think if we're you know, the way

571
00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:39,200
Speaker 4: that that inner child wounding shows up is really everything.

572
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:43,840
Speaker 5: You know, like it's really everything any.

573
00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:47,320
Speaker 4: Level of toxicity in your life, any way that that

574
00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:51,679
Speaker 4: shows itself, typically there's always a pathway in a trail

575
00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:55,119
Speaker 4: that leads back to a very specific moment in childhood.

576
00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:59,760
Speaker 4: And the reason that really those like inner child wounds

577
00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:03,320
Speaker 4: some times are so deep and so hard to look at,

578
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:07,239
Speaker 4: it's because they really usually revolve around us in our

579
00:28:07,240 --> 00:28:10,000
Speaker 4: most vulnerable space as a child, and then we take

580
00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:13,399
Speaker 4: on judgment for how we responded as a child. And

581
00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:16,240
Speaker 4: so it's like we're looking back at that same wounding

582
00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:21,920
Speaker 4: with child eyes and child relatability and child charge inside

583
00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:25,399
Speaker 4: of ourselves instead of saying, you know what, in this moment,

584
00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:28,400
Speaker 4: I am a woman. I'm a grown woman. So let

585
00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:31,520
Speaker 4: me look back on those childhood wounds through the lens

586
00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:35,879
Speaker 4: of this adult who now better understands life. You know,

587
00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:39,600
Speaker 4: like our wounding in childhood really stems from lack of

588
00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:42,960
Speaker 4: experience and us attributing meaning to the things that happened

589
00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:45,480
Speaker 4: to us with a very limited language and a very

590
00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:48,520
Speaker 4: limited understanding of the world. So when we're coming in

591
00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:51,480
Speaker 4: to repair and to heal and dissolve, we have to

592
00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:56,280
Speaker 4: come to it with the rational understanding of this happened.

593
00:28:56,640 --> 00:28:59,240
Speaker 4: I was a kid, I interpreted it as this, which

594
00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:01,680
Speaker 4: then lent itself to me, layering more and more on

595
00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:04,760
Speaker 4: top of it. Or this stem from my parent. You

596
00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:06,760
Speaker 4: know a lot of wounding comes from our parents or

597
00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:09,680
Speaker 4: the adults in our lives. And the reason it feels

598
00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:13,120
Speaker 4: so hard to heal is because our parents are our

599
00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:17,480
Speaker 4: first God, you know, like our family structure is our earth.

600
00:29:17,560 --> 00:29:19,880
Speaker 4: We don't know that there's more world available to us.

601
00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:22,440
Speaker 4: We definitely don't know how it works. So if we

602
00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:25,720
Speaker 4: feel this conflict about our parents, it's almost like we're

603
00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:28,680
Speaker 4: in conflict with God because we're still looking at them

604
00:29:28,720 --> 00:29:31,640
Speaker 4: through that lens, and so like being able to shed

605
00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:34,560
Speaker 4: that is also and I know this can feel really

606
00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:37,840
Speaker 4: tender for people, depending on what your parental experience was.

607
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:43,200
Speaker 4: There's a multitude of ways that you know, people experience

608
00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:48,040
Speaker 4: like deep hardship and the really the things that feel

609
00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:52,400
Speaker 4: unmentionable about our lives, sometimes at the hands of our parents.

610
00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:56,400
Speaker 4: But it's really important that we're investigating that wounding or

611
00:29:56,440 --> 00:29:59,200
Speaker 4: that timeline to do it from the space of an

612
00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:03,120
Speaker 4: adult who is now equipped with more emotional language, is more.

613
00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:05,200
Speaker 5: Equipped with like what are the processes of.

614
00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:07,720
Speaker 4: Being an adult? Things that you know, sometimes we take

615
00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:10,920
Speaker 4: personally as kids. It's like when we become adults, you're like, oh, yeah,

616
00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:14,160
Speaker 4: it wasn't because I wasn't wanted or neglected, like my

617
00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:16,520
Speaker 4: mom had to go to work, right, you know, or

618
00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:20,720
Speaker 4: like or you know, this happened or this circumstance. Adult

619
00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:24,400
Speaker 4: life is complicated, and the circumstance lent itself to me

620
00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:27,280
Speaker 4: feeling like this but if I look at it from

621
00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:30,400
Speaker 4: the lens of what is true from an adult perspective,

622
00:30:30,880 --> 00:30:33,800
Speaker 4: does it still have to hurt me? Is there opportunity

623
00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:37,200
Speaker 4: for me to re experience it, apply my understanding of

624
00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:38,360
Speaker 4: now and.

625
00:30:38,320 --> 00:30:40,080
Speaker 5: Give it some grace and give it some healing.

626
00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:43,640
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's so important. And I never even

627
00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:47,200
Speaker 1: really looked at it that way, as like putting Erica

628
00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:50,600
Speaker 1: as an adult in those adults and looking at it

629
00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:53,040
Speaker 1: like is that really what happened? Or let you know,

630
00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:56,200
Speaker 1: it's so crazy too, because even today I was met

631
00:30:56,240 --> 00:30:58,880
Speaker 1: with something that was really triggering for me, and it

632
00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:01,640
Speaker 1: is it is, and I'm just listening to you now

633
00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:04,480
Speaker 1: I realize I correlated the two, is that I was

634
00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:07,080
Speaker 1: triggered today because there is a healing that has to

635
00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:10,600
Speaker 1: happen for me amongst me and like my stepfather who

636
00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:13,600
Speaker 1: like and for me, And it's rooted in my relationship

637
00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:16,360
Speaker 1: with my father, who me and my father didn't really

638
00:31:16,360 --> 00:31:18,120
Speaker 1: have a relationship and he didn't show up for me

639
00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:21,720
Speaker 1: in that way. And it's different now, but we're more

640
00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:26,280
Speaker 1: so friends than we are like fatherly daughterly. Yeah, and

641
00:31:27,360 --> 00:31:29,320
Speaker 1: my stepdad never really took on the role of being

642
00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:31,400
Speaker 1: my father. Really, I think he didn't want to, like

643
00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:34,600
Speaker 1: he didn't. He just kind of he didn't know how to.

644
00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:36,840
Speaker 1: He didn't know how to do it, you know, because

645
00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:41,560
Speaker 1: and as a child, I was angry about that and

646
00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:42,960
Speaker 1: upset by that and.

647
00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:44,880
Speaker 3: Felt like, well, you should have tried harder.

648
00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:47,240
Speaker 1: Who cares if I said, you're not my dad, Like

649
00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:48,960
Speaker 1: you should have tried harder.

650
00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:49,959
Speaker 3: I'm a child.

651
00:31:50,280 --> 00:31:54,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, And today, like we had an interaction that really

652
00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:56,360
Speaker 1: triggered me, that irritated me, and it felt like he

653
00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:57,680
Speaker 1: wasn't showing up for me again.

654
00:31:57,800 --> 00:31:58,280
Speaker 4: And I was.

655
00:31:58,240 --> 00:32:00,520
Speaker 1: Like, like, and it triggered me because my dad didnt

656
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:01,880
Speaker 1: show up for me and like you're supposed to be

657
00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:05,440
Speaker 1: my other dad, Like yeah, And so today I, for

658
00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:07,080
Speaker 1: the first time ever, I messaged him and I was like,

659
00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:09,960
Speaker 1: we should probably talk, and like I know that he'll

660
00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:11,920
Speaker 1: never do that, like he'll never reach out to me.

661
00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:14,120
Speaker 1: So like as an adult, I'm the child, but I'm

662
00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:16,400
Speaker 1: also I'm an adult now, and like I don't want

663
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:18,239
Speaker 1: to have that experience anymore. I don't want to keep

664
00:32:18,280 --> 00:32:21,200
Speaker 1: repeating this feeling because sometimes we're like in great spirits

665
00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:23,040
Speaker 1: together and then other times I'm like what happened? Like

666
00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:23,760
Speaker 1: did I do something?

667
00:32:23,840 --> 00:32:24,920
Speaker 3: Like why are we here?

668
00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:28,160
Speaker 1: Like what's going on? And it felt good to like

669
00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:31,080
Speaker 1: it did feel good because I was feeling a lot

670
00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:33,720
Speaker 1: of anxiety today. I was angry, and then I was like,

671
00:32:33,920 --> 00:32:36,280
Speaker 1: I just needed to like talk to him. Why don't

672
00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:38,600
Speaker 1: I just talk to him? Because I'm because I wanted

673
00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:40,840
Speaker 1: my dad to talk to me and he and he

674
00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:42,880
Speaker 1: kind of did, but not really. I wanted him to

675
00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:45,760
Speaker 1: talk to me and he's not. But I'm an adult,

676
00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:48,600
Speaker 1: so I can go to him and I can heal

677
00:32:48,640 --> 00:32:52,160
Speaker 1: that part of me and even put myself as an

678
00:32:52,160 --> 00:32:57,120
Speaker 1: adult in the shoes of myself then and our interaction

679
00:32:57,280 --> 00:33:01,240
Speaker 1: then and try to understand why he has chosen, why

680
00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:04,000
Speaker 1: he did some of the things that he did. Yeah,

681
00:33:04,040 --> 00:33:06,120
Speaker 1: and I'm just now, I mean, obviously it's today. It's

682
00:33:06,120 --> 00:33:08,520
Speaker 1: like day one of embarking on this journey hopefully with

683
00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:11,520
Speaker 1: him and like healing that and hopefully it'll help heal

684
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:14,800
Speaker 1: parts of my relationship with my own father too. Yeah,

685
00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:18,160
Speaker 1: but being able to like be adult about it is

686
00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:21,680
Speaker 1: something that you just said that I didn't even realize.

687
00:33:21,680 --> 00:33:24,480
Speaker 1: I kind of applied today. So that's so it's first

688
00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:29,160
Speaker 1: of all, like alignment is so real. I'm so glad you're.

689
00:33:29,040 --> 00:33:29,479
Speaker 3: Here right now.

690
00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:31,480
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm gonna cry because I'm just like, wow,

691
00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:35,640
Speaker 1: Like it's been like a long time coming in my

692
00:33:35,720 --> 00:33:38,840
Speaker 1: relationship with the men in my life because I haven't

693
00:33:38,840 --> 00:33:42,480
Speaker 1: always felt safe and I haven't always felt like I

694
00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:45,360
Speaker 1: could depend on them. Yeah, and I'm like, yeah, I don't.

695
00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:46,960
Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be that way. Sometimes it's just

696
00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:49,280
Speaker 1: a conversation that has to happen. So he feels like

697
00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:52,920
Speaker 1: he's given given permission to show up for me that way. Yeah,

698
00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:55,440
Speaker 1: you know, and so yeah.

699
00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:58,320
Speaker 4: And you know what, And it's so like, one, I

700
00:33:58,440 --> 00:34:01,000
Speaker 4: just like, really prize you for doing that because.

701
00:34:00,760 --> 00:34:01,920
Speaker 5: It's so challenging.

702
00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:06,160
Speaker 4: Like that's so challenging because it's also feels, you know,

703
00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:07,600
Speaker 4: there's a piece of you that feels like why do

704
00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:08,520
Speaker 4: I got to be the one to do this?

705
00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:11,680
Speaker 3: And that's kind of like the stance I've always taken.

706
00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:13,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like that's not serving me.

707
00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:16,640
Speaker 4: It's this is so powerful, Like this is the stance

708
00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:20,160
Speaker 4: of like a really powerful, awakened person. And it's like

709
00:34:20,760 --> 00:34:24,000
Speaker 4: remembering our personal power is so important because we find

710
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:27,279
Speaker 4: ourselves and this is just biologically how it works, how

711
00:34:27,320 --> 00:34:29,359
Speaker 4: like the programming of our brain and our hearts really

712
00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:33,399
Speaker 4: operates with certain people, we will fall into a role

713
00:34:33,440 --> 00:34:33,879
Speaker 4: that is not.

714
00:34:33,920 --> 00:34:36,000
Speaker 5: Actually who we are or how we show up in

715
00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:36,440
Speaker 5: the world.

716
00:34:36,520 --> 00:34:40,520
Speaker 4: And that is especially true when it comes to family

717
00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:43,600
Speaker 4: and family enmeshment. Like it's really it's like you could

718
00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:45,920
Speaker 4: be killing it in a boardroom, you could be leading

719
00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:48,879
Speaker 4: in all these ways, but you get home and it's like, oh, yes, sir,

720
00:34:49,160 --> 00:34:51,680
Speaker 4: or okay, or no one listens to me or you know,

721
00:34:51,719 --> 00:34:55,560
Speaker 4: and it's like, it's always beautiful opportunity for us to

722
00:34:55,640 --> 00:34:58,000
Speaker 4: continue to anchor in the truth of who we are

723
00:34:58,040 --> 00:35:00,920
Speaker 4: in this moment. I think, like I definitely have two

724
00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:05,279
Speaker 4: thoughts around what she said. You know, a piece that's

725
00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:07,680
Speaker 4: powerful but really challenging, and.

726
00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:10,120
Speaker 5: It takes a lot, a lot, a lot of practice.

727
00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:13,360
Speaker 4: So anybody listening, it's okay if you don't get it

728
00:35:13,440 --> 00:35:15,640
Speaker 4: the first try the second third, like it'll come with

729
00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:21,000
Speaker 4: the practice. But as frustrating as it feels, especially if

730
00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:23,880
Speaker 4: we've been wounded by the adults that knew us as children,

731
00:35:24,440 --> 00:35:28,759
Speaker 4: it's so important to realize like adults are flawed, like

732
00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:32,000
Speaker 4: which we know now, Like we think about our friends

733
00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:34,920
Speaker 4: and their wounding, we think about our wounding like adults

734
00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:38,680
Speaker 4: are highly problematic, but we were children and we were

735
00:35:38,760 --> 00:35:41,759
Speaker 4: viewing them as safety. We were also trained to view

736
00:35:41,760 --> 00:35:45,640
Speaker 4: them as that by television, by film, Like every American

737
00:35:45,680 --> 00:35:49,360
Speaker 4: ideal for family structure was built around this. You know,

738
00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:52,440
Speaker 4: two parent household, two parents, and you were made in

739
00:35:52,520 --> 00:35:55,319
Speaker 4: love and you know they wanted to have you, and

740
00:35:55,760 --> 00:35:58,160
Speaker 4: then they raised you and always put you at the forefront,

741
00:35:58,280 --> 00:36:01,160
Speaker 4: and they had a college plan available to you, and

742
00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:03,880
Speaker 4: the mom was on the pta and the father provided

743
00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:07,799
Speaker 4: and we have thisby and if they weren't safe and

744
00:36:07,840 --> 00:36:11,880
Speaker 4: they unconditionally love us, well, news flash, that is not

745
00:36:12,120 --> 00:36:16,080
Speaker 4: true for ninety eight percent of people living. But there

746
00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:19,160
Speaker 4: are these like unicorns that have been crafted as a

747
00:36:19,239 --> 00:36:23,200
Speaker 4: legend for which our family structure, it's created, this comparable

748
00:36:23,239 --> 00:36:25,680
Speaker 4: ideal forever and it's not true for any of us,

749
00:36:25,719 --> 00:36:28,319
Speaker 4: like it really isn't. And when we give ourselves that

750
00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:32,439
Speaker 4: freedom that none almost none of us you know, had

751
00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:37,640
Speaker 4: that experience, it frees our hearts so deeply because it's

752
00:36:37,680 --> 00:36:40,359
Speaker 4: the comparison that hurts when we settle into the what

753
00:36:40,640 --> 00:36:43,840
Speaker 4: is this is the parent I was given? There is

754
00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:46,360
Speaker 4: spiritual curriculum to that. What do I need to know

755
00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:48,799
Speaker 4: about this? How is this meant to actually be a

756
00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:51,960
Speaker 4: gift to me, you know, And it's hard because sometimes

757
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:55,440
Speaker 4: those gifts are so painful, you know. And also a

758
00:36:55,440 --> 00:36:57,600
Speaker 4: piece of it, we don't speak to enough as adults

759
00:36:57,680 --> 00:37:01,279
Speaker 4: now that we're in these mental health conversations. So many

760
00:37:01,320 --> 00:37:06,920
Speaker 4: adults from our childhoods have personality disorders, They have undiagnosed

761
00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:11,720
Speaker 4: mental illness or personality disorders or complex post traumatic stress

762
00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:16,200
Speaker 4: or PTSD. They were barely surviving the things that happened

763
00:37:16,239 --> 00:37:18,759
Speaker 4: to them, but they didn't have the language, and they

764
00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:22,200
Speaker 4: didn't they didn't have the resources that so many of

765
00:37:22,280 --> 00:37:25,960
Speaker 4: us have. Now It's like there are books, now, there

766
00:37:25,960 --> 00:37:26,600
Speaker 4: are groups.

767
00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:27,440
Speaker 5: Now I can.

768
00:37:27,320 --> 00:37:29,800
Speaker 4: Open my Instagram, Like it cracks me up when I

769
00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:32,720
Speaker 4: open Instagram on some of these psychology pages I follow

770
00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:34,880
Speaker 4: because I'm like, I spent three thousand dollars on that

771
00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:38,360
Speaker 4: breakthrough over that years, and today I get to scroll

772
00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:39,320
Speaker 4: it and get the truths.

773
00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:40,919
Speaker 5: So simply, like, we.

774
00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:44,919
Speaker 4: Have things and we're having conversations that our parents never

775
00:37:44,960 --> 00:37:47,480
Speaker 4: got to have either, you know. And when we go

776
00:37:47,600 --> 00:37:50,520
Speaker 4: down that like family tree, it's like so many of

777
00:37:50,600 --> 00:37:54,239
Speaker 4: our parents were in deep pain and survived abuse and

778
00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:59,160
Speaker 4: for them, for some for some of them, you know,

779
00:37:59,239 --> 00:38:02,319
Speaker 4: it's like something we say right now that I said

780
00:38:02,320 --> 00:38:04,800
Speaker 4: a lot that I had to really get more humble about,

781
00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:09,279
Speaker 4: was like, oh, I'm breaking the chains. I'm the ancestral

782
00:38:09,320 --> 00:38:11,719
Speaker 4: freedom for my lineage. Like you know, I am the

783
00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:14,920
Speaker 4: person that came to Earth at this time to heal

784
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:18,920
Speaker 4: my whole family line. And I think everyone thought they

785
00:38:18,960 --> 00:38:22,360
Speaker 4: were doing that, you know, like every like some of

786
00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:25,759
Speaker 4: the things that I have against this about with my upbringing,

787
00:38:27,040 --> 00:38:31,279
Speaker 4: it was literally one hundred times better than how my

788
00:38:31,440 --> 00:38:33,160
Speaker 4: mom was raised, you know.

789
00:38:33,360 --> 00:38:34,720
Speaker 5: And it's like so for her.

790
00:38:35,120 --> 00:38:39,880
Speaker 4: There was so much honor and so much thoughtfulness and

791
00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:43,840
Speaker 4: what she thought was the parenting she never got.

792
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:47,160
Speaker 5: But to me, that parenting still felt flawed, you know.

793
00:38:47,320 --> 00:38:48,640
Speaker 5: And it's like it's because.

794
00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:51,200
Speaker 4: We're each coming here with our individual recipe of what

795
00:38:51,239 --> 00:38:51,960
Speaker 4: our needs are.

796
00:38:55,120 --> 00:38:58,840
Speaker 2: We've ended money March, but how has your financial planning

797
00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:00,959
Speaker 2: manifest station been going?

798
00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:03,480
Speaker 1: You know, it's been going okay? You know, I know

799
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:09,120
Speaker 1: credit card statements debt can be super overwhelming, so overwhelming,

800
00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:13,719
Speaker 1: like honestly I avoid them, crippling. But you know what,

801
00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:17,759
Speaker 1: thanks to Upstart, it's been so easy and fast to

802
00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:19,600
Speaker 1: pay off my debt with a personal loan I did

803
00:39:19,640 --> 00:39:22,120
Speaker 1: it all online in five minutes.

804
00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:25,719
Speaker 2: So it consolidates all of your credit cards and you

805
00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:28,520
Speaker 2: can just pay one credit card bill instead of having multiples.

806
00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:31,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, whether you're consolidating high interest debt or

807
00:39:31,320 --> 00:39:34,680
Speaker 1: funding personal expenses. Over a half a million people have

808
00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:39,920
Speaker 1: used upstart to get a simple fixed monthly payment, including Yeah, girl.

809
00:39:40,280 --> 00:39:43,000
Speaker 2: That's amazing because sometimes it gives me anxiety to see

810
00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:46,120
Speaker 2: so many credit card bills, so just having one would

811
00:39:46,120 --> 00:39:48,480
Speaker 2: eliminate so much of my anxiety exactly.

812
00:39:48,600 --> 00:39:51,360
Speaker 1: And as after this month of money March, I just

813
00:39:51,400 --> 00:39:54,719
Speaker 1: need simple solutions. So Upstart has been that.

814
00:39:54,719 --> 00:39:56,719
Speaker 3: That's amazing. I'm gonna have to go check that out.

815
00:39:56,880 --> 00:39:59,360
Speaker 1: Find out how upstart can lower your monthly payments today

816
00:39:59,400 --> 00:40:02,520
Speaker 1: when you go to upstart dot com slash choices.

817
00:40:02,840 --> 00:40:05,720
Speaker 2: That's upstart dot com slash choices.

818
00:40:05,960 --> 00:40:08,000
Speaker 3: Don't forget to use our r L to let them

819
00:40:08,040 --> 00:40:08,920
Speaker 3: know we sent you.

820
00:40:09,360 --> 00:40:12,040
Speaker 1: Loan amounts will be determined based on your credit, income

821
00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:15,680
Speaker 1: and certain other information provided in your loan application, which

822
00:40:15,719 --> 00:40:16,920
Speaker 1: only takes five minutes.

823
00:40:17,840 --> 00:40:21,360
Speaker 2: Go to upstart dot com slash choices. Go take the

824
00:40:21,400 --> 00:40:23,800
Speaker 2: five minutes and apply now, because you can get funds

825
00:40:23,840 --> 00:40:25,960
Speaker 2: early as one business day after you apply.

826
00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:28,960
Speaker 3: That's right, one business day and you get your funds.

827
00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:32,600
Speaker 1: So go to upstart dot com slash choices right now,

828
00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:33,400
Speaker 1: You're welcome.

829
00:40:33,560 --> 00:40:36,160
Speaker 5: I'm welcome, and people aren't always.

830
00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:38,840
Speaker 1: That makes me so scared to be a parent. I know,

831
00:40:39,360 --> 00:40:41,680
Speaker 1: I know you're so scared to say I am. I

832
00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:43,719
Speaker 1: feel like I'm I'm showing. I'm showing her all these

833
00:40:43,760 --> 00:40:45,560
Speaker 1: new things. And what if she grows up and it's

834
00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:47,560
Speaker 1: like not enough, Mom?

835
00:40:47,800 --> 00:40:50,000
Speaker 3: Will I break it to you?

836
00:40:50,080 --> 00:40:52,640
Speaker 2: I think I think that's the thing, is like we

837
00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:58,040
Speaker 2: it is unavoidable to fuck up. It's yeah, I mean

838
00:40:58,080 --> 00:41:01,400
Speaker 2: it's it is like we're not perfect. This is not perfect.

839
00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:04,719
Speaker 2: And I think like there's no instruction book. When you're

840
00:41:04,719 --> 00:41:08,000
Speaker 2: handed a baby. It's almost like it's the most shocking

841
00:41:08,040 --> 00:41:10,520
Speaker 2: shit you'll ever do. Like you said, you're pregnant. Everyone's

842
00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:12,239
Speaker 2: so nice to you and they send your ass home

843
00:41:12,280 --> 00:41:16,160
Speaker 2: and you're like help, you know, And I just feel

844
00:41:16,239 --> 00:41:19,400
Speaker 2: like and it's something I'm sure we've all had to

845
00:41:19,400 --> 00:41:21,359
Speaker 2: deal with, Like you're about to come to tears talking

846
00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:23,120
Speaker 2: about a conversation how with your stepdad.

847
00:41:23,120 --> 00:41:24,200
Speaker 3: And it just reminds me like.

848
00:41:25,640 --> 00:41:29,000
Speaker 2: There has been there's been a lot of pivotal points

849
00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:31,319
Speaker 2: in my adulthood where I had to like look at

850
00:41:31,320 --> 00:41:35,560
Speaker 2: myself and look at my parents and accept that they

851
00:41:35,600 --> 00:41:39,560
Speaker 2: are just people. They are children, Yeah, they are all

852
00:41:39,640 --> 00:41:42,719
Speaker 2: They're healing, they're working through it, and like had to

853
00:41:42,800 --> 00:41:46,520
Speaker 2: really come to that anger and that frustration and that sadness,

854
00:41:46,560 --> 00:41:49,239
Speaker 2: that shit, you know, Like like there are many times

855
00:41:49,239 --> 00:41:50,759
Speaker 2: I would just get in a conversation they want to

856
00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:51,840
Speaker 2: talk to me, and I want to cry.

857
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:53,960
Speaker 3: Oh my bit, you're thirty years old. Why are you

858
00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:57,560
Speaker 3: about to cry? Because it's such a sensitive topic.

859
00:41:58,400 --> 00:42:00,840
Speaker 2: It's unhealed, because it's so easy to just be that

860
00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:05,839
Speaker 2: teenage hurt wounded not herd girl again, you know, and

861
00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:09,240
Speaker 2: to be pissed and frustrated and like, fuck, you should

862
00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:11,879
Speaker 2: know this, Like you're fucking up. You know, you're talking

863
00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:13,960
Speaker 2: shit to me, but you're fucking up because I feel

864
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:15,879
Speaker 2: like that, you know what I mean, and just taking

865
00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:18,279
Speaker 2: having the grace to say, oh my god, Like my

866
00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:21,520
Speaker 2: mom is just a child, she's just a little girl.

867
00:42:21,600 --> 00:42:22,640
Speaker 3: She's still figuring it out.

868
00:42:22,680 --> 00:42:23,479
Speaker 5: She's still so.

869
00:42:23,520 --> 00:42:26,120
Speaker 2: Hurt, you know, like she's blamed things like because she

870
00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:30,239
Speaker 2: misses her mom, Like she's she's a human person, you know,

871
00:42:30,400 --> 00:42:33,520
Speaker 2: and it's taken a lot of those conversations with myself,

872
00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:36,759
Speaker 2: even in like my adulthood and evolving and trying to grow,

873
00:42:36,840 --> 00:42:38,600
Speaker 2: or then looking at my parents and like, oh my god,

874
00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:42,799
Speaker 2: you guys are fucking teenagers. But I think a part

875
00:42:42,800 --> 00:42:44,959
Speaker 2: of it is, like we have to accept that there's

876
00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:49,160
Speaker 2: no part of our parenting that's perfect. We are imperfect people.

877
00:42:49,239 --> 00:42:52,440
Speaker 2: So it's by design, right, Because like you said, I

878
00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:54,279
Speaker 2: liked what you do. I love what you said about

879
00:42:54,800 --> 00:42:59,240
Speaker 2: the curriculum of life. Every fucking single experience, every interaction,

880
00:42:59,400 --> 00:43:02,759
Speaker 2: every relationship, including family are as a part of the

881
00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:04,879
Speaker 2: curriculum of life. Like I do believe that we choose

882
00:43:04,880 --> 00:43:06,759
Speaker 2: our parents, and I know, like some people don't want

883
00:43:06,760 --> 00:43:09,680
Speaker 2: to hear that, but there are lessons in that, those

884
00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:12,959
Speaker 2: those relationships closest to you that you have to heal

885
00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:15,839
Speaker 2: and learn and figure out. And I'm still figuring it out,

886
00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:19,360
Speaker 2: you know, accepting people and like, are my parents as

887
00:43:19,440 --> 00:43:21,120
Speaker 2: who they are. And I think one of the biggest

888
00:43:21,120 --> 00:43:24,640
Speaker 2: things I've tried to apply because lord knows, I may

889
00:43:24,680 --> 00:43:27,600
Speaker 2: not be doing this parenting thing completely right because I'm

890
00:43:27,640 --> 00:43:30,800
Speaker 2: a little crazy, but like it's just letting my daughter

891
00:43:31,160 --> 00:43:34,239
Speaker 2: see me vulnerable letting her know, like I don't have

892
00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:38,160
Speaker 2: all the answers, like letting her know I messed up.

893
00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:41,040
Speaker 2: I'm sad. Like the other day I cried and she's

894
00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:43,719
Speaker 2: right here. I cried in front of Luna and she

895
00:43:43,840 --> 00:43:45,400
Speaker 2: was like, why are you crying? And I was like,

896
00:43:46,239 --> 00:43:52,279
Speaker 2: I don't know, I don't know. Just hug me, hug me,

897
00:43:52,680 --> 00:43:54,239
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, But like I don't. And

898
00:43:54,280 --> 00:43:57,200
Speaker 2: I've seen my mom cry and there were things, but

899
00:43:57,400 --> 00:44:00,719
Speaker 2: just sometimes it just takes being vocal and vulnerable, and

900
00:44:00,760 --> 00:44:02,839
Speaker 2: even if your kid is six, you know, and I

901
00:44:02,880 --> 00:44:06,000
Speaker 2: think I think our parents thought that was deeply traumatizing

902
00:44:06,360 --> 00:44:08,200
Speaker 2: to not let your kid know that you didn't have

903
00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:09,400
Speaker 2: everything all together.

904
00:44:09,600 --> 00:44:10,279
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was like.

905
00:44:10,320 --> 00:44:14,520
Speaker 2: Everything's fine, everything's fine, the bills are paid. I'm so happy, Like, no,

906
00:44:14,600 --> 00:44:16,080
Speaker 2: you're not to lose your shit.

907
00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:19,399
Speaker 4: Everybody was so hyper vigilant because even that is such

908
00:44:19,400 --> 00:44:22,200
Speaker 4: a layered experience. It's like for us it would be like,

909
00:44:22,560 --> 00:44:24,840
Speaker 4: why mom, were you not just more vulnerable with me?

910
00:44:25,360 --> 00:44:27,799
Speaker 4: And then it's like for a mom of that generation,

911
00:44:28,680 --> 00:44:32,239
Speaker 4: especially a woman of color, you were pushed into this

912
00:44:32,239 --> 00:44:35,799
Speaker 4: this unwanted role of forced resilience all the time, Like

913
00:44:36,480 --> 00:44:39,800
Speaker 4: society didn't give a shit about what you were walking through.

914
00:44:40,200 --> 00:44:42,680
Speaker 4: So you probably not only didn't even.

915
00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:44,640
Speaker 3: Vocalize it outside of yourself to.

916
00:44:44,600 --> 00:44:46,480
Speaker 4: Anyone, because you knew it when it matter and when

917
00:44:46,520 --> 00:44:49,080
Speaker 4: it changed, but you didn't even vocalize it to yourself.

918
00:44:49,120 --> 00:44:52,600
Speaker 4: So the ability to be vulnerable is not even a possibility.

919
00:44:52,640 --> 00:44:54,440
Speaker 2: It's not even you don't even recognize it in yourself,

920
00:44:54,560 --> 00:44:56,640
Speaker 2: let alone expressing it to someone else.

921
00:44:57,000 --> 00:45:00,000
Speaker 3: And I experience that now, like, oh, Erica, like you're

922
00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:02,280
Speaker 3: I'm not okay. I'm like, maybe you're right.

923
00:45:02,760 --> 00:45:05,480
Speaker 2: You know, you don't even realize that you're not okay

924
00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:08,480
Speaker 2: until you've given yourself the grace to say it to

925
00:45:08,560 --> 00:45:09,560
Speaker 2: yourself out loud.

926
00:45:09,640 --> 00:45:10,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know.

927
00:45:10,600 --> 00:45:13,360
Speaker 2: And that's such a powerful thing, Like in exploring the

928
00:45:13,400 --> 00:45:16,080
Speaker 2: inner child is like first you have to identify that

929
00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:18,960
Speaker 2: those that those wounds even exist, and then you have

930
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:22,840
Speaker 2: to dig back into your your deep subconscious about exactly

931
00:45:22,880 --> 00:45:26,440
Speaker 2: the moment and experiences and interactions that you've had that

932
00:45:26,520 --> 00:45:29,719
Speaker 2: contributed to how you act out in adulthood. Because I've

933
00:45:30,239 --> 00:45:32,719
Speaker 2: i was listening to your podcast, I've experienced a lot

934
00:45:32,719 --> 00:45:35,440
Speaker 2: of ways, like drinking, you know, I've feend a lot

935
00:45:35,440 --> 00:45:38,920
Speaker 2: of my twenties and now like excessively drinking, or like

936
00:45:39,560 --> 00:45:43,600
Speaker 2: unnecessary sex and unnecessary relationships and toxic love and just

937
00:45:43,640 --> 00:45:48,000
Speaker 2: feeling comforted by that toxicity because I'm actively avoiding dealing

938
00:45:48,000 --> 00:45:51,720
Speaker 2: with my fucking self, you know, because that hurts too much.

939
00:45:52,080 --> 00:45:55,359
Speaker 4: Well, if toxicity is our normal, we're just craving home,

940
00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:59,480
Speaker 4: you know, Like we're just craving that same dynamic that

941
00:45:59,520 --> 00:46:02,400
Speaker 4: we were so used to and that was the foundation

942
00:46:02,520 --> 00:46:04,919
Speaker 4: of our beans. So it's like even sometimes when we

943
00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:08,919
Speaker 4: want more for ourselves, we continue these loops in these

944
00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:13,359
Speaker 4: patterns because that is what was illustrated as safety to.

945
00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:14,600
Speaker 3: Us trauma bonds.

946
00:46:14,680 --> 00:46:17,120
Speaker 2: I just really learned that, like the last few years,

947
00:46:17,120 --> 00:46:21,960
Speaker 2: because I was backstepping and backstepping and backstaffing with my.

948
00:46:22,520 --> 00:46:27,800
Speaker 5: Bad Luna go blame God, Oh my business.

949
00:46:28,400 --> 00:46:32,520
Speaker 2: I'm backstepping and then like just these toxic cycles of

950
00:46:32,800 --> 00:46:36,440
Speaker 2: such pain. But I was literally putting myself in the

951
00:46:36,480 --> 00:46:40,560
Speaker 2: position actively raising my hand to get there. And it's

952
00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:42,120
Speaker 2: like it took me a long time and realized, like

953
00:46:42,560 --> 00:46:44,640
Speaker 2: and I would even notice. I would when things would

954
00:46:44,640 --> 00:46:46,799
Speaker 2: start to feel panicked in my regular life, even if

955
00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:49,640
Speaker 2: they were already like high stressed, I would seek that

956
00:46:49,760 --> 00:46:53,120
Speaker 2: even though if it heightened, it would heighten the discomfort,

957
00:46:53,200 --> 00:46:55,799
Speaker 2: my sadness. But I saw that with my parents. I

958
00:46:55,840 --> 00:46:59,160
Speaker 2: saw my parents have toxic relationships my entire life, yelling

959
00:46:59,200 --> 00:47:02,040
Speaker 2: and screaming and acting crazy and coming and going, And

960
00:47:02,080 --> 00:47:04,840
Speaker 2: so I saw myself attached to that in my adulthood

961
00:47:04,880 --> 00:47:08,600
Speaker 2: and in ways that the relationships mirrored so much it

962
00:47:08,760 --> 00:47:10,799
Speaker 2: scared the shit out of me, you know.

963
00:47:10,920 --> 00:47:11,439
Speaker 3: But I was.

964
00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:14,920
Speaker 2: Actively doing it to myself and then getting so mad

965
00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:18,400
Speaker 2: at myself because A, I know the results, be you

966
00:47:18,520 --> 00:47:20,879
Speaker 2: keep doing it, be you keep doing it, you keep

967
00:47:20,920 --> 00:47:22,920
Speaker 2: doing it, you keep doing it, and then finding some

968
00:47:23,040 --> 00:47:25,319
Speaker 2: weird sick comfort in it. Yeah, and then even to

969
00:47:25,360 --> 00:47:27,560
Speaker 2: the point where my closest friends were like, there's something

970
00:47:27,600 --> 00:47:30,960
Speaker 2: wrong with you. We're concerned, you're sick, like and then

971
00:47:31,280 --> 00:47:33,600
Speaker 2: like like, we're really concerned because you keep saying this

972
00:47:33,640 --> 00:47:36,960
Speaker 2: and doing that. And I was getting so fucking mad

973
00:47:37,760 --> 00:47:39,399
Speaker 2: because I know that, and.

974
00:47:39,440 --> 00:47:41,040
Speaker 3: I'm telling like, you don't think I know?

975
00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:42,120
Speaker 1: You know?

976
00:47:42,520 --> 00:47:43,680
Speaker 3: Do you think it's that easy?

977
00:47:44,680 --> 00:47:48,960
Speaker 2: Like and actively finding the words to try and like

978
00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:52,799
Speaker 2: justify it, but not, and then trying to explain to

979
00:47:52,840 --> 00:47:54,680
Speaker 2: my friends who have none a long time, like you

980
00:47:54,719 --> 00:47:56,920
Speaker 2: don't think I know you don't think I'm working on

981
00:47:56,960 --> 00:48:01,000
Speaker 2: it and like I don't need this shit from you now.

982
00:48:00,680 --> 00:48:00,920
Speaker 3: You know.

983
00:48:01,560 --> 00:48:05,400
Speaker 2: But it's a crazy realization of self to be like

984
00:48:05,560 --> 00:48:09,160
Speaker 2: I'm inflicting pain on myself because it's comforting to me.

985
00:48:09,520 --> 00:48:12,440
Speaker 4: Well, it's like it's like nostalgia, right, Like we like

986
00:48:12,520 --> 00:48:14,440
Speaker 4: get excited when we hear a nineties R and B

987
00:48:14,560 --> 00:48:17,320
Speaker 4: record or something because it puts us into that place,

988
00:48:17,400 --> 00:48:20,200
Speaker 4: and that's nostalgia with like an upbeat flavor.

989
00:48:20,200 --> 00:48:20,960
Speaker 3: It's like, oh my.

990
00:48:20,960 --> 00:48:23,600
Speaker 4: God, they don't make music like this, Oh this is

991
00:48:23,640 --> 00:48:25,799
Speaker 4: my jam. But it's the same thing with some of

992
00:48:25,840 --> 00:48:29,760
Speaker 4: our toxic family traits. It's like you have a longing

993
00:48:29,840 --> 00:48:32,359
Speaker 4: for it sometimes, you know it really there is this

994
00:48:32,520 --> 00:48:36,200
Speaker 4: nostalgia of wanting to recreate what you knew.

995
00:48:35,960 --> 00:48:37,040
Speaker 5: As a child.

996
00:48:37,200 --> 00:48:40,160
Speaker 4: And it's like in moments like that, you know, part

997
00:48:40,160 --> 00:48:44,160
Speaker 4: of like the reparenting dynamic that's so important, Like reparenting

998
00:48:44,200 --> 00:48:48,080
Speaker 4: yourself is treating yourself how you wish you were treated

999
00:48:48,719 --> 00:48:52,560
Speaker 4: as a child. It's talking to yourself with kindness. And

1000
00:48:52,600 --> 00:48:56,200
Speaker 4: so often when we're feeling frustrated with ourselves from like

1001
00:48:56,239 --> 00:48:58,600
Speaker 4: where we're at with growth, it's like, come on, get

1002
00:48:58,600 --> 00:49:02,080
Speaker 4: it together, you know, Like come on, And it's like

1003
00:49:02,800 --> 00:49:05,200
Speaker 4: you have to do the opposite to you. Anytime you

1004
00:49:05,320 --> 00:49:09,320
Speaker 4: feel like you're recreating chaos or you're finding yourself in crisis,

1005
00:49:09,360 --> 00:49:10,799
Speaker 4: it's literally about.

1006
00:49:10,480 --> 00:49:15,000
Speaker 5: Like, oh, baby, you're hurting, take a breath.

1007
00:49:15,520 --> 00:49:19,360
Speaker 4: Imagining yourself as a child, Like speak to yourself the

1008
00:49:19,400 --> 00:49:21,600
Speaker 4: way you would any three year old on the street,

1009
00:49:21,880 --> 00:49:24,600
Speaker 4: not even your own child. If I see any three

1010
00:49:24,719 --> 00:49:26,279
Speaker 4: year old on the street, I'm like, oh, look at

1011
00:49:26,320 --> 00:49:28,920
Speaker 4: a baby, you know, and I'm like, Hi, oh gosh,

1012
00:49:28,920 --> 00:49:29,760
Speaker 4: you're so smart.

1013
00:49:29,840 --> 00:49:30,759
Speaker 5: Hi beautiful.

1014
00:49:30,840 --> 00:49:35,640
Speaker 4: Like it's giving yourself that same kind of nourishment and

1015
00:49:35,719 --> 00:49:40,359
Speaker 4: parental guidance to that little you that's still inside. And

1016
00:49:40,719 --> 00:49:44,440
Speaker 4: you know, that's how we heal. It's through the kindness.

1017
00:49:44,480 --> 00:49:48,040
Speaker 4: It's through the grace, it's through the patience with ourselves

1018
00:49:48,080 --> 00:49:51,160
Speaker 4: as a child, and it's not through the get it together.

1019
00:49:51,280 --> 00:49:54,160
Speaker 5: You should know this. Come on all right, Like go

1020
00:49:54,239 --> 00:49:55,080
Speaker 5: to therapy.

1021
00:49:54,800 --> 00:49:55,319
Speaker 1: Talk to dad.

1022
00:49:55,719 --> 00:50:00,319
Speaker 4: It's like the tenderness. It's the slowness, and if it

1023
00:50:00,400 --> 00:50:01,400
Speaker 4: takes your whole.

1024
00:50:01,160 --> 00:50:03,040
Speaker 5: Life, that's okay.

1025
00:50:03,200 --> 00:50:05,799
Speaker 4: That's all we're here for anyway, right. We're just here

1026
00:50:05,840 --> 00:50:08,839
Speaker 4: to experience and to learn and to grow and transcend.

1027
00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:11,359
Speaker 4: So if you need to take your time, take it,

1028
00:50:11,680 --> 00:50:13,200
Speaker 4: but do it with tenderness.

1029
00:50:13,960 --> 00:50:16,520
Speaker 1: When I was listening to your podcast, you had mentioned that,

1030
00:50:17,719 --> 00:50:20,040
Speaker 1: first of all, you said something that was or I

1031
00:50:20,080 --> 00:50:22,680
Speaker 1: guess you had asked a therapist or someone you were

1032
00:50:22,719 --> 00:50:27,680
Speaker 1: speaking with. You'd said, why is like finding wholeness the

1033
00:50:27,800 --> 00:50:29,480
Speaker 1: fight of our life in the childhood?

1034
00:50:30,080 --> 00:50:30,239
Speaker 2: Girl?

1035
00:50:30,400 --> 00:50:32,239
Speaker 1: Why is finding wholeness the fight of our life in

1036
00:50:32,280 --> 00:50:33,680
Speaker 1: our adulthood? And I told me. I was like, oh

1037
00:50:33,680 --> 00:50:35,359
Speaker 1: my god, is that what our whole podcast was about?

1038
00:50:35,440 --> 00:50:37,440
Speaker 1: Is like finding our wholeness? And I was like, kinda,

1039
00:50:37,560 --> 00:50:40,200
Speaker 1: And it does feel like oftentimes it does feel like

1040
00:50:40,239 --> 00:50:42,879
Speaker 1: the fight of your life. And I think she said

1041
00:50:42,880 --> 00:50:44,840
Speaker 1: a child has to blame or else.

1042
00:50:44,920 --> 00:50:47,880
Speaker 5: She'll go and say, oh my god, that was like

1043
00:50:48,560 --> 00:50:49,640
Speaker 5: what Yeah?

1044
00:50:49,680 --> 00:50:53,120
Speaker 3: And I was like, day when you said that child.

1045
00:50:52,880 --> 00:50:55,160
Speaker 1: Has to blame or else, she'll go and say And

1046
00:50:55,200 --> 00:50:57,839
Speaker 1: I was like wow. And now having a child and

1047
00:50:57,880 --> 00:51:00,640
Speaker 1: her always like when something goes wrong, you like, she

1048
00:51:00,719 --> 00:51:02,879
Speaker 1: did it, you did it did And I'm like, yeah,

1049
00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:04,720
Speaker 1: Carl're not in trouble.

1050
00:51:04,760 --> 00:51:07,000
Speaker 3: You're not in trouble, Like, why are we blaming someone

1051
00:51:07,080 --> 00:51:08,600
Speaker 3: right now? Yeah?

1052
00:51:08,680 --> 00:51:09,880
Speaker 1: I thought that was so interesting.

1053
00:51:10,680 --> 00:51:13,040
Speaker 5: It's so like and it's also so sad.

1054
00:51:13,280 --> 00:51:15,080
Speaker 1: You know not, I know it is.

1055
00:51:15,320 --> 00:51:18,319
Speaker 4: It is yeah, you know I so I you know,

1056
00:51:18,360 --> 00:51:20,400
Speaker 4: off and on. I've gone to therapy over the years.

1057
00:51:20,560 --> 00:51:24,879
Speaker 4: I do think like cognitive therapy is phenomenal, and it

1058
00:51:24,920 --> 00:51:26,359
Speaker 4: gives you language and it.

1059
00:51:26,280 --> 00:51:28,040
Speaker 5: Gives you structure to your experience.

1060
00:51:28,080 --> 00:51:30,800
Speaker 4: But we have to add in like somatic experiencing to

1061
00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:34,600
Speaker 4: really be in the healing or to like dissolve the trauma.

1062
00:51:34,640 --> 00:51:37,399
Speaker 4: We have to love the trauma. We can't just give

1063
00:51:37,440 --> 00:51:39,480
Speaker 4: it language and understand, Oh I act this way because

1064
00:51:39,480 --> 00:51:41,719
Speaker 4: this happened to me. It's like, Okay, now that I

1065
00:51:41,760 --> 00:51:45,719
Speaker 4: can understand that, how can I bring that intellectualization down

1066
00:51:45,800 --> 00:51:48,080
Speaker 4: into my heart so I can actually live as the

1067
00:51:48,120 --> 00:51:51,359
Speaker 4: person I want to be that I really am. And

1068
00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:56,560
Speaker 4: so sometimes like I have this one phenomenal psychologist, sometimes

1069
00:51:56,600 --> 00:51:59,399
Speaker 4: I just cut. Like so I do a lot of

1070
00:51:59,520 --> 00:52:02,240
Speaker 4: healing work on myself, but I also do a lot

1071
00:52:02,280 --> 00:52:05,359
Speaker 4: of healing education for myself. Like over the last ten years,

1072
00:52:05,400 --> 00:52:08,000
Speaker 4: I've probably gotten like an Ivy League education in different

1073
00:52:08,040 --> 00:52:12,200
Speaker 4: healing modeality. So sometimes I'm like the weirdo that books

1074
00:52:12,280 --> 00:52:15,160
Speaker 4: time with a leading psychologists to ask them questions that

1075
00:52:15,200 --> 00:52:16,440
Speaker 4: aren't necessarily about me.

1076
00:52:16,600 --> 00:52:18,160
Speaker 5: But I'll be like, how does.

1077
00:52:18,080 --> 00:52:20,320
Speaker 4: This work in the brain or why does this happen?

1078
00:52:20,400 --> 00:52:23,560
Speaker 4: Or why do kids do this? You know, I'm really

1079
00:52:23,760 --> 00:52:28,480
Speaker 4: really freaking curious. So I you know, when I study

1080
00:52:28,920 --> 00:52:31,920
Speaker 4: trauma and I study the barriers that we put up

1081
00:52:31,960 --> 00:52:36,719
Speaker 4: against our own healing, the common denominator for all of

1082
00:52:36,800 --> 00:52:42,520
Speaker 4: us is this under underlying feeling of being unworthy or

1083
00:52:42,560 --> 00:52:45,640
Speaker 4: being worthless. That is where I feel that one hundred

1084
00:52:45,719 --> 00:52:50,480
Speaker 4: percent of all of our trauma really sinks into and

1085
00:52:50,719 --> 00:52:54,480
Speaker 4: also experiences lend itself to that. Certain experiences happen that

1086
00:52:54,640 --> 00:52:59,279
Speaker 4: we interpret as being judgments against us or wrongness about us.

1087
00:52:59,800 --> 00:53:02,080
Speaker 5: So I was asking her, I said, you know, why

1088
00:53:02,239 --> 00:53:03,000
Speaker 5: is it that.

1089
00:53:04,400 --> 00:53:08,279
Speaker 4: Everything always comes down to us not really thinking we're

1090
00:53:08,280 --> 00:53:11,640
Speaker 4: worthy or us really loving ourselves? And she said, you know,

1091
00:53:11,680 --> 00:53:13,920
Speaker 4: when you're a kid, she said this phrase to me,

1092
00:53:14,000 --> 00:53:15,880
Speaker 4: thats that you share that Jess.

1093
00:53:15,640 --> 00:53:16,840
Speaker 5: Like it rocked my soul.

1094
00:53:16,920 --> 00:53:19,520
Speaker 4: It was you know, well a child has to blame

1095
00:53:19,640 --> 00:53:24,000
Speaker 4: or else that will go insane. And she said, you know, biologically, neurologically,

1096
00:53:24,040 --> 00:53:27,440
Speaker 4: the way your mind works as a young person is

1097
00:53:27,480 --> 00:53:31,239
Speaker 4: that like you don't have context for anything, you don't

1098
00:53:31,239 --> 00:53:34,839
Speaker 4: have language for hardly anything, and you don't have life experience,

1099
00:53:35,480 --> 00:53:39,080
Speaker 4: and so everything about our experience is crafted by how

1100
00:53:39,120 --> 00:53:43,680
Speaker 4: we understand our caregivers. So if our caregivers, who we

1101
00:53:43,719 --> 00:53:47,040
Speaker 4: now come to understand as adults, are these problematic flawed

1102
00:53:47,440 --> 00:53:49,560
Speaker 4: adults like we are, and like we know.

1103
00:53:49,600 --> 00:53:53,959
Speaker 1: I look like I can't wait to call my mom. Problemiz, Mom,

1104
00:53:54,000 --> 00:53:55,839
Speaker 1: you were a problematic caregiver. You did your best.

1105
00:53:55,880 --> 00:53:58,759
Speaker 3: I love you did. It was probably dev said that

1106
00:54:00,520 --> 00:54:05,080
Speaker 3: to say that Dad, it's problematic step father.

1107
00:54:06,560 --> 00:54:09,439
Speaker 1: When I go talk to my stepfather, So listen my relationship.

1108
00:54:10,080 --> 00:54:13,319
Speaker 3: You're a problematic adult and I am too.

1109
00:54:13,600 --> 00:54:16,719
Speaker 4: And also, you were a wounded child, right, you know,

1110
00:54:16,960 --> 00:54:18,920
Speaker 4: like you were a wounded child and you wounded me,

1111
00:54:19,280 --> 00:54:20,040
Speaker 4: and that's.

1112
00:54:19,920 --> 00:54:20,759
Speaker 3: You know what it is.

1113
00:54:20,840 --> 00:54:23,800
Speaker 4: But you know, the process of like a child blaming

1114
00:54:23,880 --> 00:54:26,080
Speaker 4: or it will go insane, is really found in that

1115
00:54:26,560 --> 00:54:27,080
Speaker 4: the way.

1116
00:54:26,920 --> 00:54:29,840
Speaker 5: A child processes it has.

1117
00:54:29,719 --> 00:54:33,719
Speaker 4: To give meaning because it's craving to understand its experience,

1118
00:54:33,800 --> 00:54:36,960
Speaker 4: it's craving to build its structures. And so for a

1119
00:54:37,000 --> 00:54:41,120
Speaker 4: young person, it's not even conceivable to you that the

1120
00:54:41,160 --> 00:54:44,360
Speaker 4: problem is your parent, or the problem is your family system,

1121
00:54:44,400 --> 00:54:45,560
Speaker 4: or the problem is your home.

1122
00:54:46,760 --> 00:54:50,239
Speaker 5: If that were to occur to you, it would put you.

1123
00:54:50,160 --> 00:54:53,400
Speaker 4: Into a fight or flight that is not survivable, like

1124
00:54:53,640 --> 00:54:57,120
Speaker 4: if your parent is God, if your home is really

1125
00:54:57,160 --> 00:54:59,839
Speaker 4: your earth, and something is wrong with that, and you're

1126
00:54:59,840 --> 00:55:03,280
Speaker 4: all so very clear that you cannot care for yourself.

1127
00:55:03,440 --> 00:55:05,839
Speaker 4: If you were to find fault in that system, it

1128
00:55:05,960 --> 00:55:08,080
Speaker 4: would send you spiraling.

1129
00:55:08,560 --> 00:55:10,040
Speaker 5: Who would care for you as a kid.

1130
00:55:10,480 --> 00:55:13,759
Speaker 4: You would probably give yourself a heart attack from being

1131
00:55:13,760 --> 00:55:16,680
Speaker 4: in fight or flight constantly. So you have to think

1132
00:55:16,719 --> 00:55:19,640
Speaker 4: it's you. You have to think that it's something wrong

1133
00:55:19,680 --> 00:55:22,200
Speaker 4: with you, and then you commit yourself to this path

1134
00:55:22,239 --> 00:55:26,360
Speaker 4: of being better, of earning love, of you know, trying

1135
00:55:26,400 --> 00:55:28,520
Speaker 4: to get the attention, or trying to get into a

1136
00:55:28,560 --> 00:55:31,359
Speaker 4: safe space with your parents or with your family so

1137
00:55:31,400 --> 00:55:33,600
Speaker 4: that you can feel the love, so that you can

1138
00:55:33,640 --> 00:55:36,640
Speaker 4: feel safe, which then leads you usually on this lifetime

1139
00:55:36,719 --> 00:55:40,520
Speaker 4: journey of on the far end of the spectrum either

1140
00:55:40,560 --> 00:55:44,480
Speaker 4: becoming a sociopath and a full on narcissist or becoming

1141
00:55:44,640 --> 00:55:48,440
Speaker 4: a really really committed people pleasing.

1142
00:55:48,120 --> 00:55:52,000
Speaker 1: People say that sounds like the recipe.

1143
00:55:51,560 --> 00:55:54,560
Speaker 4: For people please who's in fear of losing love, who's

1144
00:55:54,600 --> 00:55:58,160
Speaker 4: in fear of losing safety, who's in fear of losing self?

1145
00:55:58,320 --> 00:56:01,799
Speaker 4: And you know, either side of that is not necessarily

1146
00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:06,239
Speaker 4: anyone's fault, but they are interesting things to look at

1147
00:56:06,440 --> 00:56:09,680
Speaker 4: as we heal ourselves. You know, what is me and

1148
00:56:09,719 --> 00:56:13,080
Speaker 4: what is like this false programming that I can like

1149
00:56:13,200 --> 00:56:13,560
Speaker 4: all of.

1150
00:56:15,040 --> 00:56:19,000
Speaker 2: Like defense mechanisms almost that we've become accustomed to an

1151
00:56:19,000 --> 00:56:23,040
Speaker 2: innate too. That like someone if certain reactions in adulthood

1152
00:56:23,120 --> 00:56:25,879
Speaker 2: start to make you react different ways. There was something

1153
00:56:25,920 --> 00:56:30,239
Speaker 2: else you said. I think everyone has childhood trauma. There's

1154
00:56:30,320 --> 00:56:34,920
Speaker 2: no one's no one's fucking missing it, you know, but

1155
00:56:35,000 --> 00:56:38,000
Speaker 2: I think and it's hard. You think about your entire

1156
00:56:38,080 --> 00:56:40,840
Speaker 2: childhood and it's hard to go like pinpoint certain moments.

1157
00:56:41,120 --> 00:56:43,720
Speaker 2: It almost takes you like kind of like really getting

1158
00:56:43,760 --> 00:56:47,480
Speaker 2: into that space and really committing to deep diving into

1159
00:56:47,520 --> 00:56:50,960
Speaker 2: your memory about what you remember, conversations, all those experiences.

1160
00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:54,600
Speaker 2: Because I think also with children and with childhood, as

1161
00:56:54,640 --> 00:56:58,640
Speaker 2: we I know, I have been able to block things out.

1162
00:56:59,239 --> 00:57:01,720
Speaker 2: It's like our response to traumas like I can forget

1163
00:57:01,760 --> 00:57:04,640
Speaker 2: some shit quickly, like don't mention it again. I'm gonna

1164
00:57:04,680 --> 00:57:10,440
Speaker 2: forget now, okay, but like actual tangible tools and ways

1165
00:57:10,560 --> 00:57:14,279
Speaker 2: to go and start the process. So a friend of

1166
00:57:14,280 --> 00:57:17,840
Speaker 2: mine told me recently, like getting into feudal position and

1167
00:57:17,920 --> 00:57:20,000
Speaker 2: like thinking of those things. And then I know I

1168
00:57:20,040 --> 00:57:22,960
Speaker 2: heard in your podcast about like pulling up a picture

1169
00:57:23,120 --> 00:57:25,320
Speaker 2: of you in a certain age that you weren't comfortable with.

1170
00:57:25,360 --> 00:57:27,680
Speaker 2: And it's so funny that you said that, because I

1171
00:57:27,720 --> 00:57:30,440
Speaker 2: was scrolling through my phone like last night or the

1172
00:57:30,520 --> 00:57:33,880
Speaker 2: other night, and you know, the phone behaving like years

1173
00:57:33,880 --> 00:57:35,880
Speaker 2: and years of shit you didn't ask for, and I

1174
00:57:35,960 --> 00:57:39,840
Speaker 2: was just like scrolling. I was like, wow, things have changed,

1175
00:57:39,920 --> 00:57:42,360
Speaker 2: thank god. But you know, like all these pictures were

1176
00:57:42,400 --> 00:57:45,360
Speaker 2: kind of triggering in like places. I was like, in

1177
00:57:45,480 --> 00:57:48,120
Speaker 2: certain relationships, how I was feeling in the really times.

1178
00:57:48,200 --> 00:57:51,240
Speaker 1: Both memories is the worst thing Facebook ever did to humanity.

1179
00:57:51,400 --> 00:57:53,280
Speaker 3: I mean, and now the phone is good.

1180
00:57:53,360 --> 00:57:55,360
Speaker 2: Now have you noticed that iPhones are now just reminding

1181
00:57:55,360 --> 00:57:55,800
Speaker 2: me where you.

1182
00:57:55,720 --> 00:57:59,520
Speaker 3: Have to create a whole album that you don't ask for.

1183
00:57:59,600 --> 00:58:03,080
Speaker 3: I'm really like seeing my baby daddy on the beach.

1184
00:58:03,160 --> 00:58:05,480
Speaker 3: I'm like, no, we asked for this. Shit. Fuck I

1185
00:58:05,560 --> 00:58:09,360
Speaker 3: ask for this goddamn memory. I was there. I didn't

1186
00:58:09,400 --> 00:58:10,960
Speaker 3: need this. I take the picture.

1187
00:58:11,640 --> 00:58:14,400
Speaker 2: Don't be pulling shit ibout and asked for Siri, Yo,

1188
00:58:14,480 --> 00:58:16,600
Speaker 2: Siri cut the ship.

1189
00:58:17,280 --> 00:58:21,040
Speaker 3: What the fuck? But it just it just you know,

1190
00:58:22,080 --> 00:58:23,400
Speaker 3: even fuck even.

1191
00:58:23,320 --> 00:58:25,800
Speaker 2: Childhood this last year, bitch, I was looking at pictures

1192
00:58:25,800 --> 00:58:27,320
Speaker 2: from the last the twenty twenty. I was like, I'm

1193
00:58:27,320 --> 00:58:31,520
Speaker 2: a whole different person. I've come so far. Wow, you

1194
00:58:31,600 --> 00:58:33,720
Speaker 2: know what I mean. But just like giving yourself permission

1195
00:58:33,760 --> 00:58:36,680
Speaker 2: to dig and dive into those places like I don't

1196
00:58:36,680 --> 00:58:39,440
Speaker 2: think sometimes we have the tools to where to begin.

1197
00:58:39,560 --> 00:58:42,400
Speaker 2: It's so it's so hurtful, it hurts so bad. Yeah,

1198
00:58:42,560 --> 00:58:45,240
Speaker 2: I've locked those doors. I've cemented it.

1199
00:58:45,480 --> 00:58:47,920
Speaker 1: Like, yeah, so what are some tools, like some beginner

1200
00:58:47,960 --> 00:58:49,760
Speaker 1: step tools for people that are like I don't even

1201
00:58:49,800 --> 00:58:51,400
Speaker 1: know where to start with this healing?

1202
00:58:51,560 --> 00:58:52,800
Speaker 5: Yeah, love it.

1203
00:58:52,800 --> 00:58:56,520
Speaker 4: It's actually it's actually so simple, but it takes practice

1204
00:58:56,520 --> 00:58:57,520
Speaker 4: to feel.

1205
00:58:57,200 --> 00:58:58,960
Speaker 5: Comfortable with it.

1206
00:58:58,960 --> 00:59:01,600
Speaker 4: It's really be able to look at the work you

1207
00:59:01,640 --> 00:59:05,400
Speaker 4: need to do with joyful curiosity.

1208
00:59:05,280 --> 00:59:07,640
Speaker 5: Or at least like deep interest.

1209
00:59:07,920 --> 00:59:10,760
Speaker 4: You know. It's like when something comes up for me now,

1210
00:59:10,800 --> 00:59:12,560
Speaker 4: like if there's a piece of shadow work that I

1211
00:59:12,640 --> 00:59:15,320
Speaker 4: have to do, it's it's really about like, oh what

1212
00:59:15,560 --> 00:59:19,120
Speaker 4: is this? Why do I feel that right now? Am

1213
00:59:19,160 --> 00:59:20,760
Speaker 4: I jealous? Am I angry?

1214
00:59:21,000 --> 00:59:22,120
Speaker 3: What has charged?

1215
00:59:22,160 --> 00:59:25,760
Speaker 4: Why does it feel that way? Instead of like I'm

1216
00:59:25,760 --> 00:59:26,600
Speaker 4: so angry right now?

1217
00:59:26,760 --> 00:59:27,360
Speaker 3: Or god?

1218
00:59:27,440 --> 00:59:29,480
Speaker 4: You know, like people always do this and I'm just

1219
00:59:29,520 --> 00:59:32,600
Speaker 4: so instead of leaning into that as the way that

1220
00:59:32,680 --> 00:59:35,640
Speaker 4: you're processing what you're feeling, coming into it from more

1221
00:59:35,680 --> 00:59:38,440
Speaker 4: of a neutral space allows there to be like a

1222
00:59:38,560 --> 00:59:39,960
Speaker 4: rapid fire healing.

1223
00:59:40,040 --> 00:59:41,640
Speaker 3: Like I can't even stress that enough.

1224
00:59:41,720 --> 00:59:44,720
Speaker 4: Like the healing comes so fast when you come more

1225
00:59:44,760 --> 00:59:47,880
Speaker 4: into a space of neutrality about your journey and come

1226
00:59:47,920 --> 00:59:51,760
Speaker 4: more into a space of just like really deep interest

1227
00:59:51,800 --> 00:59:54,680
Speaker 4: in curiosity, as if you were walking a dear friend

1228
00:59:54,680 --> 00:59:57,920
Speaker 4: through their process. You know, like, well, what happened? What

1229
00:59:57,960 --> 01:00:00,400
Speaker 4: comes up for you when you say that, you know,

1230
01:00:00,440 --> 01:00:02,680
Speaker 4: what did something happen that lent itself to that? Like

1231
01:00:02,720 --> 01:00:05,800
Speaker 4: you're in the role of like journalists and women, we

1232
01:00:05,960 --> 01:00:11,080
Speaker 4: are natural inherent psychologists, journalists and detectives. Sure, yet we

1233
01:00:11,120 --> 01:00:15,080
Speaker 4: don't apply that same ability that is a refined skill.

1234
01:00:15,880 --> 01:00:19,320
Speaker 4: We don't apply that to our own process of self.

1235
01:00:19,360 --> 01:00:21,720
Speaker 4: And it's like if we gave it that same level

1236
01:00:21,800 --> 01:00:25,680
Speaker 4: of diligence, that same level of like creative introspection and

1237
01:00:25,680 --> 01:00:29,040
Speaker 4: that same curiosity, like we can free ourselves so much

1238
01:00:29,080 --> 01:00:32,720
Speaker 4: faster with ease, with ease and joy, Like healing does

1239
01:00:32,760 --> 01:00:35,560
Speaker 4: not have to come through all of the knights on

1240
01:00:35,600 --> 01:00:38,400
Speaker 4: your knees and tears or the yelling into your pillow,

1241
01:00:38,560 --> 01:00:42,040
Speaker 4: or the taking the drives, like healing can come through

1242
01:00:42,640 --> 01:00:45,120
Speaker 4: the tiny moments, the twinkle of an eye, the joy,

1243
01:00:45,200 --> 01:00:48,959
Speaker 4: the self inquiry question. You know, it can come through

1244
01:00:49,000 --> 01:00:51,480
Speaker 4: the one time that you decide to say no, and

1245
01:00:51,520 --> 01:00:54,040
Speaker 4: then that starts to build up your ability to say.

1246
01:00:53,880 --> 01:00:55,680
Speaker 5: It more and more when you want to.

1247
01:00:55,680 --> 01:00:57,160
Speaker 3: And really investigate.

1248
01:00:57,200 --> 01:01:01,440
Speaker 4: But it's the secret is the curiosity, Like I treat

1249
01:01:01,480 --> 01:01:05,720
Speaker 4: myself with the deep curiosity for my needs, for my joys,

1250
01:01:05,800 --> 01:01:08,280
Speaker 4: Like hmm, what am I craving today? Like what could

1251
01:01:08,320 --> 01:01:11,400
Speaker 4: I use to smile today? What would feel good for me? Okay,

1252
01:01:11,480 --> 01:01:13,920
Speaker 4: let me do that to then? Oh wow, I feel

1253
01:01:13,960 --> 01:01:20,960
Speaker 4: really defeated today. Okay, what's coming up? What do I feel?

1254
01:01:21,280 --> 01:01:23,520
Speaker 4: Where in my body do I feel it? It's in my heart? Okay,

1255
01:01:23,600 --> 01:01:27,800
Speaker 4: that feels like grief? What am I experiencing right now?

1256
01:01:27,840 --> 01:01:28,320
Speaker 5: What's here?

1257
01:01:28,880 --> 01:01:29,120
Speaker 3: You know?

1258
01:01:29,200 --> 01:01:34,240
Speaker 4: And just being willing to be with yourself. And that's

1259
01:01:34,280 --> 01:01:36,880
Speaker 4: what we avoid, you know, I think we get through

1260
01:01:36,880 --> 01:01:41,200
Speaker 4: life without realizing all the tools of avoidance we have

1261
01:01:41,280 --> 01:01:44,840
Speaker 4: for ourselves. We avoid ourselves with the packed schedule, We

1262
01:01:44,880 --> 01:01:49,280
Speaker 4: avoid ourselves with friendships, with fun, with perceived happiness, like

1263
01:01:49,680 --> 01:01:52,280
Speaker 4: we can find we can turn anything into a tool

1264
01:01:52,320 --> 01:01:53,440
Speaker 4: of avoidance.

1265
01:01:55,320 --> 01:01:56,919
Speaker 5: Anything, and so it's so.

1266
01:01:56,880 --> 01:02:00,479
Speaker 4: Important to really create those moments where we're just with us,

1267
01:02:00,520 --> 01:02:04,480
Speaker 4: Like go stare at yourself in the eyes in the

1268
01:02:04,520 --> 01:02:07,360
Speaker 4: mirror with your face two inches away from the mirror.

1269
01:02:07,840 --> 01:02:09,120
Speaker 4: Light a candle and do that.

1270
01:02:09,120 --> 01:02:10,480
Speaker 3: For a minutes and see what happens.

1271
01:02:10,720 --> 01:02:13,880
Speaker 2: You know, for real, Like it's really comfortable.

1272
01:02:13,880 --> 01:02:17,680
Speaker 3: Do you get eye contact? Period? Is some shit? It

1273
01:02:17,760 --> 01:02:20,120
Speaker 3: is really some shit, especially with yourself. It's crazy. You

1274
01:02:20,120 --> 01:02:20,400
Speaker 3: said that.

1275
01:02:20,400 --> 01:02:24,200
Speaker 2: I had an acting like exercise with a stranger in

1276
01:02:24,240 --> 01:02:27,320
Speaker 2: an acting class randomly, and the exercise was for us

1277
01:02:27,360 --> 01:02:29,280
Speaker 2: to stare at each other in each other's eyes for

1278
01:02:29,320 --> 01:02:33,200
Speaker 2: two minutes. And I was I get awkward. I can

1279
01:02:33,320 --> 01:02:35,160
Speaker 2: like someone can yell at me or send me something,

1280
01:02:35,160 --> 01:02:37,520
Speaker 2: tell me something sensitive, and I'll like smirk, So I

1281
01:02:37,520 --> 01:02:40,200
Speaker 2: can avoid very easily. But this girl started to cry

1282
01:02:40,560 --> 01:02:43,200
Speaker 2: and I was like I embraced her, and I was like, god, damn,

1283
01:02:43,280 --> 01:02:45,080
Speaker 2: Like that's first of all, is this acting class is

1284
01:02:45,160 --> 01:02:49,360
Speaker 2: fucking therapy both But second of all, like damn, that

1285
01:02:49,600 --> 01:02:52,600
Speaker 2: is like she saw me seeing her and it made

1286
01:02:52,640 --> 01:02:53,560
Speaker 2: her very vulnerable.

1287
01:02:53,760 --> 01:02:55,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, And like sometimes.

1288
01:02:55,320 --> 01:02:57,120
Speaker 2: I will catch myself in the bathroom I'll try and

1289
01:02:57,120 --> 01:02:59,080
Speaker 2: tell myself things, but I'm like, oh wow, I haven't

1290
01:02:59,120 --> 01:03:00,160
Speaker 2: looked at you in a while.

1291
01:03:00,560 --> 01:03:02,920
Speaker 4: Like you know, it's like this deep and you know

1292
01:03:02,960 --> 01:03:04,760
Speaker 4: what you just said in the acting class, that's so

1293
01:03:04,840 --> 01:03:08,680
Speaker 4: beautiful because like in like the mindfulness world, in like

1294
01:03:08,760 --> 01:03:12,680
Speaker 4: retreating systems and workshops, what you did is actually a

1295
01:03:12,920 --> 01:03:17,080
Speaker 4: really powerful tool for meeting yourself. And it's called soul gazing.

1296
01:03:17,640 --> 01:03:19,760
Speaker 4: And so it's like I've been I've been at retreats

1297
01:03:19,800 --> 01:03:22,360
Speaker 4: before where I got in a line outside with two

1298
01:03:22,480 --> 01:03:25,720
Speaker 4: hundred people and we each spent a minute staring into

1299
01:03:25,720 --> 01:03:28,760
Speaker 4: each other's eyes, like spent the whole afternoon what all

1300
01:03:28,840 --> 01:03:31,040
Speaker 4: walks of life. So you're seeing every kind of face

1301
01:03:31,080 --> 01:03:32,920
Speaker 4: and every kind of eye. And I remember the very

1302
01:03:32,960 --> 01:03:37,480
Speaker 4: first time I did it, I was like I could

1303
01:03:37,640 --> 01:03:40,160
Speaker 4: see like every person I would look in their eye

1304
01:03:40,200 --> 01:03:43,960
Speaker 4: for that time span, I would literally just say to them,

1305
01:03:44,000 --> 01:03:46,440
Speaker 4: you are whole, you are worthy, like with my mind,

1306
01:03:47,320 --> 01:03:50,840
Speaker 4: and I would extend that same feeling to myself. And

1307
01:03:50,920 --> 01:03:52,640
Speaker 4: you know, I've cried, or the people in front of

1308
01:03:52,640 --> 01:03:57,360
Speaker 4: me would cry, because we don't realize how often we're

1309
01:03:57,360 --> 01:04:02,240
Speaker 4: not even getting enough touch alone enough eye contact, especially

1310
01:04:02,320 --> 01:04:04,520
Speaker 4: now in quarantine, like you know, for those that have

1311
01:04:04,560 --> 01:04:07,280
Speaker 4: been inside or having like really limited access to people,

1312
01:04:07,360 --> 01:04:10,720
Speaker 4: it's like something like holding your friend's hand. Like me

1313
01:04:10,760 --> 01:04:13,040
Speaker 4: and my best girlfriend, she came to hang out with

1314
01:04:13,040 --> 01:04:16,840
Speaker 4: me and my son for a few days, and she's like,

1315
01:04:16,880 --> 01:04:19,520
Speaker 4: whenever she comes over, we spend a few days together,

1316
01:04:20,800 --> 01:04:22,800
Speaker 4: you know, which is like rare, Like we're both busy,

1317
01:04:22,840 --> 01:04:24,280
Speaker 4: so we rarely get to do it. But when we do,

1318
01:04:24,360 --> 01:04:26,880
Speaker 4: it's like, let's have a sleepover for three days. Like

1319
01:04:27,120 --> 01:04:29,240
Speaker 4: she'll come over, spend time with the baby, We'll wake up,

1320
01:04:29,280 --> 01:04:31,840
Speaker 4: have coffee together. Sometimes her and I just sit on

1321
01:04:31,840 --> 01:04:33,800
Speaker 4: the couch and we'll hold hands watching something, you know

1322
01:04:33,840 --> 01:04:34,920
Speaker 4: what I mean, And it's.

1323
01:04:34,720 --> 01:04:36,960
Speaker 3: Like that's my friend, like really just my friend.

1324
01:04:38,200 --> 01:04:41,920
Speaker 4: But you know, it's like it's giving people you care about,

1325
01:04:42,360 --> 01:04:46,560
Speaker 4: those moments of intimacy, that deepening, you know, looking at

1326
01:04:46,600 --> 01:04:49,080
Speaker 4: someone in their eyes, like it that's such a gift

1327
01:04:49,160 --> 01:04:49,919
Speaker 4: for you and them.

1328
01:04:50,360 --> 01:04:53,200
Speaker 2: And I think I think that the longer we've been

1329
01:04:53,240 --> 01:04:55,880
Speaker 2: friends with people, and the longer people around us, we

1330
01:04:55,960 --> 01:04:57,800
Speaker 2: forget to do that. Yeah, because I remember like that,

1331
01:04:57,920 --> 01:05:00,680
Speaker 2: like obviously, I mean, Erica at the closest people that

1332
01:05:00,720 --> 01:05:04,840
Speaker 2: ever existed in fucking human friendship. But like in the beginning,

1333
01:05:04,880 --> 01:05:07,360
Speaker 2: like the first meeting Erica have only really been best

1334
01:05:07,400 --> 01:05:09,360
Speaker 2: friends for three years. But in the first like year

1335
01:05:09,480 --> 01:05:12,080
Speaker 2: or two of our relationship, even now, because she wasn't

1336
01:05:12,080 --> 01:05:14,280
Speaker 2: my friend that had been super comfortable with for years

1337
01:05:14,320 --> 01:05:16,400
Speaker 2: and years and years, she would just touch me and

1338
01:05:16,440 --> 01:05:18,760
Speaker 2: like rub my shoulder and be like, you don't seem okay,

1339
01:05:18,840 --> 01:05:21,880
Speaker 2: And I would just like jar me because I wasn't

1340
01:05:22,040 --> 01:05:23,760
Speaker 2: used to that, you know. And now you feel so

1341
01:05:23,880 --> 01:05:26,440
Speaker 2: close to people, but sometimes you'd get so close to

1342
01:05:26,480 --> 01:05:29,240
Speaker 2: people that you are not close, you know, you forget

1343
01:05:29,280 --> 01:05:31,200
Speaker 2: to offer them the courtesy of just like the things

1344
01:05:31,240 --> 01:05:34,160
Speaker 2: I touched, you know, of cuddling, of love, and just

1345
01:05:34,160 --> 01:05:36,760
Speaker 2: like those little things of her like reminding me. Even

1346
01:05:36,800 --> 01:05:40,160
Speaker 2: like she apologize this to me, I'm like, no, well, damn.

1347
01:05:39,960 --> 01:05:41,360
Speaker 3: Where my feelings hurt? You know what I mean?

1348
01:05:41,400 --> 01:05:43,640
Speaker 2: Like they weren't, but maybe they were, you know, yeah, yeah,

1349
01:05:43,960 --> 01:05:46,640
Speaker 2: But because we forget that gentleness, we forget that like

1350
01:05:46,680 --> 01:05:48,960
Speaker 2: that that kindness to be to the people we've known

1351
01:05:49,000 --> 01:05:52,200
Speaker 2: the longest, our moms, our parents, you know, Like.

1352
01:05:52,120 --> 01:05:54,760
Speaker 4: I'm like, as a friend, I am a kissy, huggy,

1353
01:05:54,840 --> 01:05:56,800
Speaker 4: like wis your birthday?

1354
01:05:56,800 --> 01:05:58,280
Speaker 2: I feel like birthday's in the close to mine. I

1355
01:05:58,320 --> 01:05:59,760
Speaker 2: just read this June and nineteenth.

1356
01:06:00,360 --> 01:06:01,480
Speaker 4: My birthday is June eighteenth.

1357
01:06:01,520 --> 01:06:03,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, mine June twenty seconds.

1358
01:06:03,840 --> 01:06:06,760
Speaker 4: She's only I'm a Gemini or I'm a double Gemini

1359
01:06:06,800 --> 01:06:07,640
Speaker 4: with the Leo Rising.

1360
01:06:07,920 --> 01:06:11,640
Speaker 2: A Leo Rising too is crazy.

1361
01:06:11,960 --> 01:06:14,080
Speaker 3: Oh I love being a Leo Rising. Oh okay, So

1362
01:06:14,080 --> 01:06:15,000
Speaker 3: I want to ask some o question.

1363
01:06:15,040 --> 01:06:16,720
Speaker 2: I know we've been talking a lot, but we had

1364
01:06:16,720 --> 01:06:18,040
Speaker 2: this question, and I don't know if you have any

1365
01:06:18,080 --> 01:06:18,439
Speaker 2: more questions.

1366
01:06:18,440 --> 01:06:19,400
Speaker 1: Oh I was gonna actually ask that.

1367
01:06:19,440 --> 01:06:19,720
Speaker 3: Okay.

1368
01:06:19,920 --> 01:06:21,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, so we have a question our DMS for you

1369
01:06:22,120 --> 01:06:23,600
Speaker 2: and I don't.

1370
01:06:23,480 --> 01:06:25,840
Speaker 1: Mean to read it or yeah, go ahead, Okay, we

1371
01:06:25,880 --> 01:06:29,240
Speaker 1: had a question. Actually, this is from Torri, who I love.

1372
01:06:29,320 --> 01:06:29,800
Speaker 3: She love you.

1373
01:06:29,960 --> 01:06:31,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's always a.

1374
01:06:31,520 --> 01:06:36,720
Speaker 2: Young cool ass listening, artistic shout out to tor.

1375
01:06:36,680 --> 01:06:39,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's dope, she said. I'd love to hear her

1376
01:06:39,640 --> 01:06:42,760
Speaker 1: approach to breath work and how she ritualizes it throughout

1377
01:06:42,760 --> 01:06:43,160
Speaker 1: her day.

1378
01:06:43,760 --> 01:06:45,560
Speaker 2: But before you start, I want to say when I

1379
01:06:45,600 --> 01:06:49,440
Speaker 2: picked my two cents that I recently went to Mexico,

1380
01:06:49,480 --> 01:06:52,160
Speaker 2: I told everyone, tell everyone again. I was with like

1381
01:06:52,200 --> 01:06:53,600
Speaker 2: my hippie friends and I was.

1382
01:06:53,520 --> 01:06:55,320
Speaker 3: There part of Mexico we went.

1383
01:06:55,360 --> 01:06:56,760
Speaker 2: I was in zach It was like right outside of

1384
01:06:56,800 --> 01:07:01,280
Speaker 2: Cabo called Zacatthas. Oh okay, No, not Zachary's those total No,

1385
01:07:01,440 --> 01:07:02,720
Speaker 2: it was.

1386
01:07:02,600 --> 01:07:05,600
Speaker 3: I And we did acid.

1387
01:07:05,800 --> 01:07:07,760
Speaker 2: So all those things you were saying, like one drop

1388
01:07:07,760 --> 01:07:09,520
Speaker 2: of this, one drop of kinda is like one drop of.

1389
01:07:09,480 --> 01:07:14,400
Speaker 3: Acid heels everything, but a lot of it.

1390
01:07:14,600 --> 01:07:17,040
Speaker 2: Like the first week of being there, they're just like

1391
01:07:17,200 --> 01:07:19,680
Speaker 2: cool hippie burning man people and we're just doing a

1392
01:07:19,760 --> 01:07:20,240
Speaker 2: lot of like.

1393
01:07:22,720 --> 01:07:30,640
Speaker 6: Yeah, a lot of moaning, a lot of looking at due,

1394
01:07:31,320 --> 01:07:34,720
Speaker 6: a lot of beautiful sight seeing, and just like a

1395
01:07:34,720 --> 01:07:38,880
Speaker 6: lot of touching, like a lot of bodywork.

1396
01:07:38,320 --> 01:07:40,200
Speaker 3: And getting on my body. That was and I didn't

1397
01:07:40,200 --> 01:07:41,840
Speaker 3: know it was my jam girl. I didn't know was

1398
01:07:41,840 --> 01:07:43,640
Speaker 3: just following my white people.

1399
01:07:43,360 --> 01:07:44,200
Speaker 1: Were eating fruits.

1400
01:07:44,200 --> 01:07:48,280
Speaker 2: I was eating fruits and moaning, seeing sunsets, waking up early.

1401
01:07:48,360 --> 01:07:48,880
Speaker 1: I was just like.

1402
01:07:52,040 --> 01:07:55,680
Speaker 3: Stretching naked, dancing naked around the house like we're having

1403
01:07:55,800 --> 01:07:56,800
Speaker 3: this my jam.

1404
01:07:57,200 --> 01:08:00,920
Speaker 2: Energetic intimacy, just being comfortable, just be vulnerable, because I

1405
01:08:00,920 --> 01:08:02,760
Speaker 2: feel like we don't give ourselves the permission to do

1406
01:08:02,800 --> 01:08:05,440
Speaker 2: that a lot. And so days later and we did

1407
01:08:05,440 --> 01:08:07,560
Speaker 2: this acid trip and we put attention into the acid.

1408
01:08:07,560 --> 01:08:09,840
Speaker 2: I had this like life changing experience and so what

1409
01:08:09,880 --> 01:08:12,600
Speaker 2: I've taken from that is that experience. But very much,

1410
01:08:13,000 --> 01:08:14,760
Speaker 2: I don't give a fuck where I'm at, who I'm with.

1411
01:08:14,840 --> 01:08:19,600
Speaker 2: I'll be like fucking uber, like yup, join me?

1412
01:08:19,680 --> 01:08:24,320
Speaker 3: When to join? Ye? I have a hard to die homework. Yeah,

1413
01:08:25,479 --> 01:08:27,240
Speaker 3: and I have a lot of weird stares.

1414
01:08:27,280 --> 01:08:29,679
Speaker 2: But also I feel like there's fucking I mean obviously

1415
01:08:29,680 --> 01:08:33,080
Speaker 2: I have a podcast, so there's there's power and frequencies

1416
01:08:33,120 --> 01:08:35,479
Speaker 2: and voice like we put our we put our words

1417
01:08:35,479 --> 01:08:39,160
Speaker 2: out and those frequencies go forever until they bounce off

1418
01:08:39,160 --> 01:08:42,280
Speaker 2: of nothing, you know, to the universe. So I just

1419
01:08:42,320 --> 01:08:44,479
Speaker 2: based on Tory's question, like how what.

1420
01:08:44,520 --> 01:08:45,000
Speaker 3: Was the question?

1421
01:08:45,280 --> 01:08:47,760
Speaker 1: The question was she loved to hear your approach to

1422
01:08:47,800 --> 01:08:50,400
Speaker 1: breath work and how you ritualize it throughout your day.

1423
01:08:50,880 --> 01:08:54,120
Speaker 4: You know what, for me, everything is literally sacred, Like

1424
01:08:54,600 --> 01:08:58,120
Speaker 4: every single thing about my day is a ritual or

1425
01:08:58,160 --> 01:09:00,880
Speaker 4: an offering to God in some way. Like I feel

1426
01:09:00,920 --> 01:09:04,000
Speaker 4: like I feel like I'm building a life for myself,

1427
01:09:04,040 --> 01:09:05,400
Speaker 4: that my life.

1428
01:09:05,160 --> 01:09:07,559
Speaker 5: Is the altar for God, you know. And it's like

1429
01:09:07,640 --> 01:09:08,480
Speaker 5: with breath.

1430
01:09:08,160 --> 01:09:11,799
Speaker 4: Work, that is a piece of it's just a natural

1431
01:09:11,840 --> 01:09:14,559
Speaker 4: piece of everything. Like I'm always stopping much like you

1432
01:09:14,640 --> 01:09:17,320
Speaker 4: just describe to take a moment to breathe, to take

1433
01:09:17,360 --> 01:09:20,240
Speaker 4: a moment to center, Like yesterday I was on not

1434
01:09:20,520 --> 01:09:23,559
Speaker 4: like my work day is typically and this is gonna

1435
01:09:23,600 --> 01:09:26,519
Speaker 4: sound crazy considering I work in well being, but my

1436
01:09:26,600 --> 01:09:29,920
Speaker 4: day is five am to ten am every day, every

1437
01:09:29,920 --> 01:09:34,640
Speaker 4: single day without fail. And moms I know can definitely relate.

1438
01:09:34,360 --> 01:09:35,000
Speaker 3: To that, you know.

1439
01:09:35,280 --> 01:09:38,640
Speaker 4: And it's a lot, but I managed to get a

1440
01:09:38,640 --> 01:09:41,160
Speaker 4: lot of great solid sleep, and I was like.

1441
01:09:41,080 --> 01:09:42,640
Speaker 3: How am I functioning?

1442
01:09:43,680 --> 01:09:46,080
Speaker 1: And it's really because if I have ten minutes of

1443
01:09:46,120 --> 01:09:48,720
Speaker 1: each hour, I'll use it for myself and I'll go

1444
01:09:48,800 --> 01:09:52,200
Speaker 1: outside and i'll ground and I'll just focus on my

1445
01:09:52,240 --> 01:09:54,960
Speaker 1: breathing and for me, like the hand placements that feel

1446
01:09:55,000 --> 01:09:57,000
Speaker 1: really good, it's like one over my heart, check ra

1447
01:09:57,200 --> 01:10:00,680
Speaker 1: one over my sacral and just really take time to

1448
01:10:00,800 --> 01:10:04,880
Speaker 1: like feel my heartbeat, connect to my womb, my creativity center,

1449
01:10:04,920 --> 01:10:05,479
Speaker 1: and just.

1450
01:10:06,040 --> 01:10:08,600
Speaker 5: Take that big deep breath.

1451
01:10:08,240 --> 01:10:10,920
Speaker 4: In through your nose. And I usually do a lot

1452
01:10:10,920 --> 01:10:14,200
Speaker 4: of the slower breathing or like the lion's breath, where

1453
01:10:14,240 --> 01:10:17,120
Speaker 4: you're taking in a big breath through in heal through

1454
01:10:17,160 --> 01:10:21,920
Speaker 4: your nose, really big, filling your lungs like their gorgeous balloons,

1455
01:10:22,040 --> 01:10:25,760
Speaker 4: just expanding holding the breath for a moment and then

1456
01:10:25,840 --> 01:10:34,720
Speaker 4: like letting it come out and just doing that repeatedly

1457
01:10:34,760 --> 01:10:37,880
Speaker 4: and really noticing myself and my body and even like

1458
01:10:38,320 --> 01:10:41,200
Speaker 4: wiggling and how do I feel and what feels good,

1459
01:10:41,360 --> 01:10:44,120
Speaker 4: you know, and like letting your eyes kind of hang

1460
01:10:44,200 --> 01:10:47,160
Speaker 4: a little lower and go with the natural movements of

1461
01:10:47,240 --> 01:10:50,880
Speaker 4: your body. And then sometimes I like to like do

1462
01:10:51,000 --> 01:10:53,920
Speaker 4: one like deep journey a week. So like last night

1463
01:10:53,960 --> 01:10:56,840
Speaker 4: I did a two hour breath work journey, and it was.

1464
01:10:56,800 --> 01:10:59,160
Speaker 3: It was more intense. There was definitely the.

1465
01:11:01,920 --> 01:11:05,040
Speaker 4: For two hours, and then like everything started tingling and

1466
01:11:05,080 --> 01:11:07,360
Speaker 4: I might have like, you know, levitated for a second.

1467
01:11:07,400 --> 01:11:08,760
Speaker 3: I don't even know what happened.

1468
01:11:08,400 --> 01:11:08,559
Speaker 1: But.

1469
01:11:10,080 --> 01:11:14,320
Speaker 4: I went somewhere really really fucking enjoy my own company,

1470
01:11:14,960 --> 01:11:18,280
Speaker 4: like I am such a great friend to me, Like

1471
01:11:18,439 --> 01:11:23,360
Speaker 4: I really like having moments to just spend with myself

1472
01:11:23,600 --> 01:11:26,800
Speaker 4: and there not be any comparison, there not being any

1473
01:11:26,880 --> 01:11:30,440
Speaker 4: Like I can, honest to God, find joy and absolutely

1474
01:11:30,720 --> 01:11:33,560
Speaker 4: anything and feel connected to it. So that's kind of

1475
01:11:33,560 --> 01:11:36,120
Speaker 4: the way that I use my practice throughout the day.

1476
01:11:36,160 --> 01:11:38,759
Speaker 4: But also like if I enter a room in my house,

1477
01:11:38,920 --> 01:11:41,400
Speaker 4: I let it incense before I walk into my office,

1478
01:11:41,640 --> 01:11:44,000
Speaker 4: I do a prayer in the room, I light an incense,

1479
01:11:44,320 --> 01:11:47,360
Speaker 4: I light certain candles, I call in, you know, certain

1480
01:11:47,479 --> 01:11:51,080
Speaker 4: energies to just aid me. And that's a part of

1481
01:11:51,240 --> 01:11:53,800
Speaker 4: every single day and of every process. If I run

1482
01:11:53,840 --> 01:11:56,360
Speaker 4: myself a bath, I do reiki over the water and

1483
01:11:56,439 --> 01:11:58,720
Speaker 4: like say a prayer that the water rejuvenates me, and

1484
01:11:58,760 --> 01:12:00,960
Speaker 4: then I get in and you know, it's like there,

1485
01:12:01,000 --> 01:12:04,240
Speaker 4: I feel like there's always opportunity to turn something into

1486
01:12:04,320 --> 01:12:08,240
Speaker 4: like a moment, not just for growth. Like we can't

1487
01:12:08,240 --> 01:12:11,960
Speaker 4: get too focused on how we're growing, what we're growing,

1488
01:12:12,000 --> 01:12:15,519
Speaker 4: how we're healing. Sometimes it's like, let me relax into

1489
01:12:15,520 --> 01:12:18,360
Speaker 4: the pure joy of what is in this moment and

1490
01:12:18,479 --> 01:12:21,400
Speaker 4: exactly the version of myself who I am in this moment.

1491
01:12:21,479 --> 01:12:25,920
Speaker 4: I know I'm looking to potentially refine or chisel in

1492
01:12:25,960 --> 01:12:28,320
Speaker 4: this way and in this way, but I can also

1493
01:12:28,360 --> 01:12:30,160
Speaker 4: love the shit out of her right now as is.

1494
01:12:30,760 --> 01:12:33,240
Speaker 4: I can also love how she's showing up to herself

1495
01:12:33,280 --> 01:12:35,719
Speaker 4: even when she hasn't figured out this tool yet.

1496
01:12:35,880 --> 01:12:37,000
Speaker 5: You know, I can.

1497
01:12:36,880 --> 01:12:39,800
Speaker 4: Still celebrate the process. So that's kind of like the

1498
01:12:40,439 --> 01:12:44,040
Speaker 4: way that I move. But definitely I introduce breath to everything.

1499
01:12:45,080 --> 01:12:48,400
Speaker 4: I introduce reiki to everything. I find ways to do

1500
01:12:48,479 --> 01:12:50,479
Speaker 4: both in every part of my day.

1501
01:12:51,360 --> 01:12:53,760
Speaker 1: That's amazing. That's amazing. I've seen the breath work that

1502
01:12:53,800 --> 01:12:58,360
Speaker 1: you've done on social, on following your on social, and

1503
01:12:58,520 --> 01:13:01,759
Speaker 1: Miila's really inspired me to. I mean, I've always incorporated breath,

1504
01:13:01,760 --> 01:13:03,599
Speaker 1: but like honestly, like I feel like there has been

1505
01:13:03,720 --> 01:13:06,599
Speaker 1: even sort of like, don't breathe too loud.

1506
01:13:07,120 --> 01:13:09,719
Speaker 2: You know that's weird, You're actually weird. You know, rhythm,

1507
01:13:09,720 --> 01:13:11,639
Speaker 2: like why are you just dancing for no reason? Chill

1508
01:13:11,640 --> 01:13:12,559
Speaker 2: out like you're being weird.

1509
01:13:12,640 --> 01:13:13,800
Speaker 1: Oh my, don't breathe that loud.

1510
01:13:14,040 --> 01:13:15,240
Speaker 3: Don't make us all known right now?

1511
01:13:15,360 --> 01:13:17,120
Speaker 1: Like even like we want a yoga class and you

1512
01:13:17,160 --> 01:13:18,280
Speaker 1: hear that one person that's.

1513
01:13:18,080 --> 01:13:23,479
Speaker 2: Like, ah, you're like shut up, Actually no, it's me.

1514
01:13:23,640 --> 01:13:28,240
Speaker 1: You're having the best classes ever know the poss but

1515
01:13:28,360 --> 01:13:30,439
Speaker 1: I get but like, no, it's really It's really has

1516
01:13:30,479 --> 01:13:33,120
Speaker 1: helped me. So thank you, Mila, And I'm so glad.

1517
01:13:33,200 --> 01:13:35,439
Speaker 1: I'm so happy that we have reconnected. I know, and

1518
01:13:35,479 --> 01:13:36,760
Speaker 1: you live in the valley, So now I'm not You're

1519
01:13:36,800 --> 01:13:39,000
Speaker 1: not gonna get rid of me. I'm coming over to

1520
01:13:39,000 --> 01:13:40,760
Speaker 1: your house. I just want you to know me and

1521
01:13:40,920 --> 01:13:43,280
Speaker 1: Erica bring the things we bring.

1522
01:13:44,000 --> 01:13:46,200
Speaker 2: Me and Erica recruit all of our guests to be

1523
01:13:46,240 --> 01:13:48,800
Speaker 2: our best friends in three way and three way group text.

1524
01:13:48,840 --> 01:13:51,000
Speaker 3: So I'm your your were birthdays with three days apart.

1525
01:13:51,000 --> 01:13:52,519
Speaker 3: We're best friends now we both like.

1526
01:13:52,479 --> 01:13:56,880
Speaker 2: Simon, let's let's moan less, let's dance like ground naked

1527
01:13:56,920 --> 01:14:00,360
Speaker 2: in the backyard, let the kids run free. I'm about

1528
01:14:00,439 --> 01:14:04,960
Speaker 2: that life. Absolutely put attention into our water together name.

1529
01:14:05,640 --> 01:14:08,080
Speaker 5: And I'm only available for people like this in my.

1530
01:14:08,000 --> 01:14:12,280
Speaker 4: Life, like the girls again, gift of like being this

1531
01:14:12,439 --> 01:14:13,920
Speaker 4: version of me and the pandemic.

1532
01:14:14,040 --> 01:14:18,200
Speaker 1: It's just like I there's no time to be wasted none.

1533
01:14:18,720 --> 01:14:20,920
Speaker 1: I want only people near me that we want to

1534
01:14:20,920 --> 01:14:23,240
Speaker 1: be naked together sometimes.

1535
01:14:24,120 --> 01:14:25,720
Speaker 3: Can you hold me? Can we hold each other?

1536
01:14:26,680 --> 01:14:28,760
Speaker 4: Let's hold and you know what you said too, And

1537
01:14:28,800 --> 01:14:30,439
Speaker 4: I know we're ending. Sorry not to drag it on,

1538
01:14:30,560 --> 01:14:33,760
Speaker 4: but like when we were talking about like like how

1539
01:14:33,760 --> 01:14:36,599
Speaker 4: breath work shows up, or like making sounds like last night,

1540
01:14:36,640 --> 01:14:39,439
Speaker 4: after I did that that two hour journey, I went

1541
01:14:39,479 --> 01:14:42,479
Speaker 4: and I took a shower and I just started making

1542
01:14:42,640 --> 01:14:45,760
Speaker 4: crazy sounds in the shower. Perceived crazy, it's not crazy,

1543
01:14:45,880 --> 01:14:47,920
Speaker 4: but I was just like, what would this sound sound like?

1544
01:14:47,960 --> 01:14:50,880
Speaker 4: And I was like, oh, and then I was like,

1545
01:14:52,800 --> 01:14:54,760
Speaker 4: and then I just started making any sound that came

1546
01:14:54,800 --> 01:14:58,360
Speaker 4: to me. And it's like doing that, it creates like

1547
01:14:58,560 --> 01:15:01,439
Speaker 4: such a freedom and a space disst and you like

1548
01:15:02,000 --> 01:15:05,479
Speaker 4: create with your breath, like make sounds what's inside of

1549
01:15:05,479 --> 01:15:07,120
Speaker 4: you that wants to come out, Like.

1550
01:15:08,760 --> 01:15:10,759
Speaker 3: Kids do it forgot child.

1551
01:15:10,960 --> 01:15:13,280
Speaker 1: Kids do that ship all day They do weird ship

1552
01:15:13,479 --> 01:15:15,839
Speaker 1: all day long. My daughter is a fucking weirdo.

1553
01:15:16,320 --> 01:15:18,760
Speaker 3: I love her showing me shit Like look, mom, I'm like,

1554
01:15:18,800 --> 01:15:19,200
Speaker 3: what the fuck?

1555
01:15:19,280 --> 01:15:23,040
Speaker 1: That's great, honey, you know y. I was like, lately,

1556
01:15:23,040 --> 01:15:25,840
Speaker 1: my daughter's been taking showers alone, which has been wonderful,

1557
01:15:26,000 --> 01:15:28,360
Speaker 1: like like we've found We've gotten to this new ritual

1558
01:15:28,400 --> 01:15:30,920
Speaker 1: of like every morning you take a shower, okay, Like

1559
01:15:31,240 --> 01:15:33,519
Speaker 1: sometimes we'll skip a day and I'm like, you know what, no,

1560
01:15:33,560 --> 01:15:36,360
Speaker 1: we're not skiing in mornings. And so she has been

1561
01:15:36,400 --> 01:15:38,360
Speaker 1: really enjoying it by herself. And I hear her in

1562
01:15:38,400 --> 01:15:41,960
Speaker 1: there making all types of sounds and ship singing like water.

1563
01:15:42,080 --> 01:15:46,200
Speaker 3: She's like this, she's ancient like healing because Lina does

1564
01:15:46,240 --> 01:15:47,920
Speaker 3: the same thing. She'll get in there even as a

1565
01:15:47,960 --> 01:15:49,559
Speaker 3: young kid, like she was in there forever.

1566
01:15:49,680 --> 01:15:51,599
Speaker 1: I had to get her out. I'm like every morning.

1567
01:15:51,600 --> 01:15:52,439
Speaker 1: I'm like, okaybe it's.

1568
01:15:52,320 --> 01:15:55,559
Speaker 2: Been thirty there's deep healing in water, that's why. And

1569
01:15:55,560 --> 01:15:58,599
Speaker 2: the kids be knowing, girl, the kids be knowing. Yeah,

1570
01:15:58,640 --> 01:16:00,720
Speaker 2: the primitive things and you that want to come out.

1571
01:16:00,760 --> 01:16:02,760
Speaker 2: It's okay to give your permission to let them out.

1572
01:16:03,080 --> 01:16:05,120
Speaker 1: So, Debbie, can you tell her our people where they

1573
01:16:05,120 --> 01:16:05,720
Speaker 1: can find you.

1574
01:16:06,240 --> 01:16:08,800
Speaker 4: Yes, hit me on the gram. All my channels and

1575
01:16:08,840 --> 01:16:11,640
Speaker 4: my website is just Debbie Brown. So d E v

1576
01:16:11,840 --> 01:16:14,840
Speaker 4: I Debbie Debbie Brown on ig you hit my.

1577
01:16:14,800 --> 01:16:15,400
Speaker 3: Link in bio.

1578
01:16:15,560 --> 01:16:17,320
Speaker 4: It leads you to all the places and all the

1579
01:16:17,360 --> 01:16:18,479
Speaker 4: things awesome.

1580
01:16:18,760 --> 01:16:21,120
Speaker 1: And you guys know where to find us Instagram at

1581
01:16:21,120 --> 01:16:24,840
Speaker 1: Good Mom's Underscore, Bad Choices. Make sure you follow us

1582
01:16:24,840 --> 01:16:29,240
Speaker 1: on Patreon. That's patreon dot com backslash Good Moms, Bad Choices.

1583
01:16:29,439 --> 01:16:31,920
Speaker 1: Debbie is going to be blessing us with a full

1584
01:16:31,960 --> 01:16:35,839
Speaker 1: moon meditation. It's a little five minute, short little meditation,

1585
01:16:35,920 --> 01:16:37,799
Speaker 1: but get us in the get us in the spirit.

1586
01:16:37,960 --> 01:16:40,040
Speaker 1: You know, we always me and Jamila are always about

1587
01:16:40,080 --> 01:16:43,519
Speaker 1: manifesting period. But on the full moon, and even after

1588
01:16:43,560 --> 01:16:46,760
Speaker 1: we had this conversation last month with Loose Warrior, your

1589
01:16:46,760 --> 01:16:48,240
Speaker 1: all needs to be manifesting on your period.

1590
01:16:48,360 --> 01:16:50,080
Speaker 2: My period is like all on the end, but I

1591
01:16:50,200 --> 01:16:51,960
Speaker 2: just had I was feeling bitchy about it.

1592
01:16:52,000 --> 01:16:53,800
Speaker 3: I did tap in. I'm like, have you heard about

1593
01:16:53,800 --> 01:16:54,280
Speaker 3: the red tent?

1594
01:16:55,320 --> 01:16:57,720
Speaker 1: Okay, so Loose Warrior she talked to us about rev

1595
01:16:57,800 --> 01:16:59,559
Speaker 1: her by the way, Oh, she's amazing to talk about

1596
01:16:59,800 --> 01:17:02,840
Speaker 1: the tent. And basically, how like in ancient history, women

1597
01:17:03,200 --> 01:17:05,640
Speaker 1: were put in the They had this red tent and

1598
01:17:05,680 --> 01:17:08,400
Speaker 1: these tribes and all the women because their cycles would

1599
01:17:08,439 --> 01:17:10,400
Speaker 1: be would be the same, because you know, once as

1600
01:17:10,400 --> 01:17:12,960
Speaker 1: women can get together, our cycles start to be similar

1601
01:17:13,000 --> 01:17:15,320
Speaker 1: in the moon, and they would all go into this

1602
01:17:15,439 --> 01:17:17,920
Speaker 1: red tent and they would anything that the tribe needed

1603
01:17:17,920 --> 01:17:20,400
Speaker 1: to get done down, they would write it down, give

1604
01:17:20,400 --> 01:17:21,920
Speaker 1: it to the women. They'd go in the red tent

1605
01:17:22,000 --> 01:17:24,479
Speaker 1: and pray, pray over it and manifest. They believe that

1606
01:17:24,479 --> 01:17:26,240
Speaker 1: for the community. When you're on your period, you have

1607
01:17:26,280 --> 01:17:30,280
Speaker 1: a direct you have a direct channel to God.

1608
01:17:30,520 --> 01:17:31,080
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1609
01:17:31,120 --> 01:17:33,160
Speaker 3: So we've been we've tapping in on that.

1610
01:17:33,400 --> 01:17:34,880
Speaker 1: And I guess what I'm gonna be on my period

1611
01:17:34,920 --> 01:17:37,160
Speaker 1: on the full move So I'm red tenting and full

1612
01:17:37,160 --> 01:17:37,879
Speaker 1: moon manifest.

1613
01:17:37,920 --> 01:17:38,639
Speaker 3: It's on Saturday.

1614
01:17:38,800 --> 01:17:41,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, Okay, well, yeah, I hope my period doesn't the

1615
01:17:41,640 --> 01:17:43,320
Speaker 2: end by Saturday, me too.

1616
01:17:43,400 --> 01:17:45,240
Speaker 3: I feel like you got three day residual effects.

1617
01:17:45,320 --> 01:17:48,000
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, and I'm sure me and you have manifested

1618
01:17:48,000 --> 01:17:51,040
Speaker 2: a lot of shit in our period together and absolutely

1619
01:17:52,120 --> 01:17:55,719
Speaker 2: Oh and also in addition to that, please go check

1620
01:17:55,760 --> 01:17:59,960
Speaker 2: out our girls new children's book, Mommy, Can You Write

1621
01:18:00,120 --> 01:18:04,599
Speaker 2: Me a Bedtime Story? By Jessica Schrody aka Jessica Rose.

1622
01:18:04,640 --> 01:18:06,479
Speaker 2: Because it's the bomb and she's about to.

1623
01:18:06,520 --> 01:18:09,639
Speaker 1: And we've been drinking out of her glasses all day.

1624
01:18:09,640 --> 01:18:12,960
Speaker 1: We're drinking wine. There are her baby daddy tear glasses.

1625
01:18:15,240 --> 01:18:17,040
Speaker 1: Our baby daddies are crying right.

1626
01:18:16,960 --> 01:18:19,080
Speaker 3: Now and we're drinking their tears.

1627
01:18:21,600 --> 01:18:27,000
Speaker 2: Stay hydrated ladies, choking on them, just like a baby daddy,

1628
01:18:27,080 --> 01:18:27,880
Speaker 2: Just like a baby daddy.

1629
01:18:28,280 --> 01:18:32,000
Speaker 1: You would Anyway, you guys don't where to find us.

1630
01:18:32,040 --> 01:18:35,559
Speaker 1: Like I said, have an amazing week and we'll catch

1631
01:18:35,560 --> 01:18:36,080
Speaker 1: you next week.

1632
01:18:36,200 --> 01:18:37,639
Speaker 3: We love you. Bye bye.

1633
01:18:40,760 --> 01:18:44,000
Speaker 2: Hey guys, have you joined Patreon, where we offer even

1634
01:18:44,280 --> 01:18:45,919
Speaker 2: more juicy content.

1635
01:18:46,280 --> 01:18:47,040
Speaker 3: Yes, y'all.

1636
01:18:47,080 --> 01:18:51,719
Speaker 1: We have a secret episodes, secret segments, and some very

1637
01:18:51,760 --> 01:18:55,120
Speaker 1: personal blog posts that we don't share on the interwebs,

1638
01:18:55,920 --> 01:18:58,120
Speaker 1: So make sure you go check out our Patreon. That's

1639
01:18:58,120 --> 01:19:02,320
Speaker 1: patreon dot com. Backslash good mom's bad choices. Here's a

1640
01:19:02,360 --> 01:19:04,040
Speaker 1: little sneak peek.

1641
01:19:04,400 --> 01:19:06,599
Speaker 8: You know, for people who are exploring this. If you're

1642
01:19:06,640 --> 01:19:10,680
Speaker 8: trying to fulfill something that's missing in your primary relationship,

1643
01:19:11,280 --> 01:19:14,679
Speaker 8: like that's that's not the way to go into this.

1644
01:19:14,680 --> 01:19:17,000
Speaker 5: This is like you're so fulfilled.

1645
01:19:16,600 --> 01:19:19,439
Speaker 8: By your partner and you want like little extra icinger

1646
01:19:19,520 --> 01:19:22,360
Speaker 8: sparkles on the cake. You know, it's like this is

1647
01:19:22,720 --> 01:19:26,680
Speaker 8: this is this is not something to relationships. You're not

1648
01:19:26,840 --> 01:19:29,000
Speaker 8: don't try to fix your relationship, like go in with

1649
01:19:29,040 --> 01:19:31,200
Speaker 8: an empowered relationship or as I've.

1650
01:19:31,000 --> 01:19:31,920
Speaker 3: Done it as a single woman.

1651
01:19:32,040 --> 01:19:32,519
Speaker 1: That is fun.

1652
01:19:32,520 --> 01:19:34,840
Speaker 8: It's going to dude, being a single girl of a

1653
01:19:34,840 --> 01:19:37,559
Speaker 8: sex party is so much fun.

1654
01:19:57,120 --> 01:19:57,400
Speaker 3: This is

1655
01:20:00,080 --> 01:20:05,320
Speaker 7: Ball Recorder Lalus and the Last three s