WEBVTT - No. 84: From Grief to Gratitude + IT'S GRATITUDE CHALLENGE TIME! 0:00:00.320 --> 0:00:03.279 Hand Me My Purse is a production of iHeart Podcasts. 0:00:03.760 --> 0:00:08.760 So as I was scrolling through Lisa Bone's Internet, I 0:00:08.840 --> 0:00:13.840 found something that made me think and it said the 0:00:14.040 --> 0:00:19.840 energy for twenty twenty four is love me well or 0:00:19.960 --> 0:00:23.720 leave me alone. And of course that was Young Pueblo, 0:00:24.440 --> 0:00:28.160 the Internet guru, the social media guru, love me well 0:00:28.240 --> 0:00:33.560 or leave me alone. And that's the energy I'm on 0:00:33.880 --> 0:00:42.280 for this year. Either you love me well or going 0:00:42.320 --> 0:00:45.800 about your business, because I don't really have a lot 0:00:45.800 --> 0:00:51.560 of room nor space for anyone who was not loving 0:00:51.600 --> 0:00:58.520 me well, because this year I am hyper focused on 0:00:58.800 --> 0:01:02.800 making sure that I love me well, and when I 0:01:02.840 --> 0:01:06.800 love me well, not only around people to be not 0:01:06.880 --> 0:01:11.279 only around while I only allow people to be close 0:01:11.319 --> 0:01:16.880 to me who are gonna love me well. So again, 0:01:17.600 --> 0:01:21.920 the energy for twenty twenty four is love me well 0:01:24.000 --> 0:01:26.400 or leave me alone. 0:01:26.760 --> 0:01:27.760 She's get your round. 0:01:47.920 --> 0:01:51.080 I can't see the thing that happened. Okay, what's up, y'all? 0:01:51.080 --> 0:01:53.840 Welcome to hand Me My Purse Podcast. I am and 0:01:53.960 --> 0:01:56.240 Me Walker and I will be here forever, host each 0:01:56.280 --> 0:02:00.240 and every single time you tune into this podcast. So 0:02:00.360 --> 0:02:03.480 go ahead and get comfortable, get yourself a glass of 0:02:03.520 --> 0:02:09.160 your favorite beverage, whether that's a Lacroix, hibiscuits, seltzer, water, 0:02:09.360 --> 0:02:14.079 some gingerreo, a hot cup of black coffee with sugar, 0:02:14.919 --> 0:02:18.880 or a dark rum and a coke. Go light yourself 0:02:18.919 --> 0:02:21.640 a candle, some incense or burn some sage and just 0:02:21.639 --> 0:02:25.079 get ready to chill out and have a good time. 0:02:35.320 --> 0:02:38.680 What's up, friends and kin. It's Mimi Resident Auntie Supreme 0:02:38.720 --> 0:02:43.440 here at Hamming My Purse the podcast, and today I 0:02:43.480 --> 0:02:46.920 am sipping on some tea. I'm sure you can hear it. 0:02:47.000 --> 0:02:51.240 My voice sounds a little groggy. That's because it's early 0:02:51.320 --> 0:02:56.359 in the morning, and I'm recording this because by any 0:02:56.400 --> 0:03:00.520 means necessary, we get that work done over here, okay, 0:03:00.960 --> 0:03:03.520 And so I sound a little bit like Buster Rhymes. 0:03:03.560 --> 0:03:06.360 And this is how I sound in the morning. Actually 0:03:06.400 --> 0:03:09.160 it's worse than that. I've been drinking on some hot tea. 0:03:09.240 --> 0:03:13.440 So the tea that I'm drinking is a tea called 0:03:13.480 --> 0:03:19.359 Get Relaxed, and the other one is called Calm Buddha Blend. 0:03:20.320 --> 0:03:23.480 And actually I just looked. Let me tell you somehow 0:03:23.600 --> 0:03:29.600 God works. You know, tea brands always print, well not always, 0:03:29.600 --> 0:03:35.480 but some of them, excuse me, print little messages on 0:03:35.600 --> 0:03:40.600 their little tea ticker things. At the end, this one says, 0:03:40.680 --> 0:03:44.800 and it is so on time and on time with 0:03:44.840 --> 0:03:49.840 the message for today, what you think you become? Well, 0:03:50.800 --> 0:03:53.920 all right, then what I think I become? And you 0:03:53.960 --> 0:03:57.640 know what that is why we have to fill our 0:03:57.680 --> 0:04:02.160 thoughts with goodness. So that's what I'm sipping on. What 0:04:02.200 --> 0:04:04.240 are y'all sipping on today? I don't know what you're 0:04:04.240 --> 0:04:08.560 sipping on because I can't hear you, but I think 0:04:08.560 --> 0:04:10.680 you should tell me anyway, because I'm very curious to 0:04:10.720 --> 0:04:12.880 know what y'all drink. I want y'all to know that 0:04:12.920 --> 0:04:17.720 I love when you leave me messages on Instagram or 0:04:17.760 --> 0:04:20.360 on Spotify and tell me which you're drinking or which 0:04:20.360 --> 0:04:22.560 you're sipping. I find that a lot of you are 0:04:22.640 --> 0:04:26.279 drinking water, and I am impressed because I don't drink 0:04:26.400 --> 0:04:29.720 enough water. And the irony of me not drinking enough 0:04:29.760 --> 0:04:35.320 water is that I own probably close to fifty traveler cups, 0:04:35.600 --> 0:04:39.359 you know, between the company who shall not be named 0:04:39.720 --> 0:04:45.480 and a hydroflask and to stan Lee's and other random 0:04:45.520 --> 0:04:49.599 cups that I've buy. I have over fifty, and I 0:04:49.640 --> 0:04:56.080 still don't drink enough water. You know, that's a problem. Okay, guys, 0:04:56.120 --> 0:04:59.080 it's a problem, but one thing at a time, and 0:04:59.120 --> 0:05:01.839 so right now focused on with this little thing on 0:05:01.920 --> 0:05:05.360 this tee thing says, which is what you think you become. 0:05:05.920 --> 0:05:15.880 Let's go ahead and get into it. Why don't we? So, 0:05:16.000 --> 0:05:19.720 friends and came for today's jam. I found this song. 0:05:20.520 --> 0:05:22.080 I don't even know how in the hell I found 0:05:22.160 --> 0:05:28.480 this song. Now then we're in it, but it is 0:05:29.960 --> 0:05:34.480 a feel good song. It's by a gentleman that I 0:05:34.600 --> 0:05:37.680 don't I never heard of him before hearing this song. 0:05:38.440 --> 0:05:41.440 I'm trying to remember where I heard this song of 0:05:42.240 --> 0:05:44.440 how I was introduced to it. I think it was 0:05:44.560 --> 0:05:48.200 very randomly. I was sitting probably working on handy in 0:05:48.240 --> 0:05:51.920 my purse and it popped up and I was like, damn, 0:05:51.960 --> 0:05:54.840 this is hot. Maybe it was on like one of 0:05:54.880 --> 0:05:59.800 my Spotify play radio playlists. Anyway, it's by a young 0:05:59.839 --> 0:06:03.480 man and he is from Fayetteville, North Carolina. His name 0:06:03.560 --> 0:06:07.720 is Arsley A r z l e E. Never heard 0:06:07.720 --> 0:06:12.240 of him before, never never, never never never. But when 0:06:12.279 --> 0:06:15.359 I tell you, this song takes me back to like 0:06:15.480 --> 0:06:19.800 the nineties. It's giving very much nineties R and B. 0:06:20.760 --> 0:06:25.000 And anyone who knows me knows that I love Me 0:06:25.080 --> 0:06:28.200 some nineties R and B, eighties and nineties R and B. 0:06:28.720 --> 0:06:36.440 Actually it is. It's an adult song, and the song 0:06:36.560 --> 0:06:41.679 is called Pottery, and basically he's talking about I'm saying 0:06:41.720 --> 0:06:44.279 you can mold me and bend me any way you want, 0:06:45.080 --> 0:06:49.000 like pottery, because I'm yours to mold and bend. Okay, 0:06:49.480 --> 0:06:55.320 So listen to it. It's good. It makes me think 0:06:55.360 --> 0:07:01.480 about when songs were sensual and sexual without being disgusting. 0:07:03.440 --> 0:07:08.919 Remember those days, guys. That was a while ago. But 0:07:09.000 --> 0:07:13.400 do you remember yesterday's price? It's not two days price. 0:07:13.880 --> 0:07:16.600 So he's talking about you know, I think he's talking 0:07:16.600 --> 0:07:19.120 about the sex. Don't get me wrong. I could be 0:07:19.160 --> 0:07:22.280 wrong because art is left up to interpretation, but you know, 0:07:23.320 --> 0:07:26.800 maybe that's what I'm on. Maybe I'm in that mental space, 0:07:26.840 --> 0:07:30.680 but I think he is. And it's it's a beautiful song. 0:07:30.800 --> 0:07:35.360 His voice is he sings in his head voice right, 0:07:35.880 --> 0:07:42.000 and so it's very falsetto and light, but it's very controlled. 0:07:42.120 --> 0:07:46.560 It's very beautiful and the song is just a groove. 0:07:47.160 --> 0:07:49.720 So let's go ahead and get into it. I'm gonna 0:07:49.720 --> 0:07:51.480 stop talking so much about it because I want you 0:07:51.560 --> 0:07:56.080 to listen to it. But it definitely gives me nineties 0:07:56.200 --> 0:07:59.520 mid to late nineties vibes. Actually, it's so good and 0:07:59.560 --> 0:08:02.560 it makes me feel like maybe there's gonna be and 0:08:02.600 --> 0:08:04.840 not to say there aren't, because there's so many artists 0:08:04.840 --> 0:08:09.520 that I don't know about, like Arsley, but it just 0:08:09.560 --> 0:08:12.640 made me think about the fact that, you know, I 0:08:12.640 --> 0:08:20.120 would love it if like whole, full bodied, robust R 0:08:20.120 --> 0:08:25.000 and B came back, not all of this like Bubblegum 0:08:25.680 --> 0:08:32.920 baby powder Voice doing nine hundred church runs. You know 0:08:33.559 --> 0:08:38.000 social media singing R and B that we see a 0:08:38.000 --> 0:08:42.199 lot on social media. I'm talking about full bodied R 0:08:42.240 --> 0:08:45.599 and B. And the wonderful thing about R and B 0:08:45.720 --> 0:08:47.400 is that you don't have to be a good singer. 0:08:48.760 --> 0:08:51.320 I prefer for the person to be able to sing well, 0:08:51.480 --> 0:08:56.080 and this guy can sing. But it's about the energy 0:08:56.160 --> 0:08:59.200 and the song and the lyrics and the music and 0:08:59.240 --> 0:09:04.120 the arrangement and the feeling, as the young people say, 0:09:04.120 --> 0:09:08.280 the vibe. I'm here for the vibes. Okay, So anyway, 0:09:08.280 --> 0:09:11.200 get into Ursley Pottery. Tell me what you like. I'm 0:09:11.240 --> 0:09:14.880 gonna try to post it on social media. Hopefully it'll 0:09:14.920 --> 0:09:21.880 be in the Instagram. You know what I'm trying to say, 0:09:21.960 --> 0:09:26.040 the music dictionary. Don't play with me. I'm getting old 0:09:26.480 --> 0:09:30.280 the music dictionary thing where I can put it behind 0:09:30.360 --> 0:09:32.280 like one of my social media posts. But if not, 0:09:32.720 --> 0:09:34.760 you know where to find it. It's in the show notes. 0:09:35.080 --> 0:09:37.280 Click on the link, listen to it, tell me what 0:09:37.360 --> 0:09:40.640 you think, and let's go ahead and get this porty 0:09:41.000 --> 0:09:48.720 store ted babyd me to well the. 0:09:50.200 --> 0:10:10.400 Baby Jilly. 0:10:15.880 --> 0:10:20.439 Okay, So, friends and ken, this is going to be 0:10:20.480 --> 0:10:24.200 an interesting one. This show, as I was prepping for it, 0:10:24.800 --> 0:10:27.360 took a turn and went in a direction that I 0:10:27.360 --> 0:10:30.000 didn't expect it to go in. But I brought it 0:10:30.040 --> 0:10:33.520 back to where it was supposed to be. Sorry about that. 0:10:34.120 --> 0:10:37.319 Life is out here lifing and I am out here 0:10:37.400 --> 0:10:40.040 living right because that's all we can do. We either 0:10:40.080 --> 0:10:43.280 live or we die. And in this moment, I want 0:10:43.320 --> 0:10:46.000 to say that I am grateful for living. And if 0:10:46.040 --> 0:10:48.520 you have been down with handing my purse since the 0:10:48.600 --> 0:10:51.400 days of old, you know one thing I will do 0:10:52.559 --> 0:11:00.560 is focus on gratitude, share which all and make it 0:11:00.559 --> 0:11:03.520 a challenge. We're gonna we're gonna be going back to 0:11:03.559 --> 0:11:06.000 the old school because I'm an old fool who's so cool? 0:11:06.559 --> 0:11:08.560 What you know about that? Anyway? 0:11:09.040 --> 0:11:09.960 Stick to the game plan. 0:11:10.840 --> 0:11:13.000 I felt like it was time for checking and for 0:11:13.080 --> 0:11:16.199 some transparency. And y'all know, here, hand me my purse. 0:11:16.280 --> 0:11:18.960 We are a family. We is to gather. We is 0:11:19.000 --> 0:11:23.520 to gather forever or until I am not doing this anymore. 0:11:23.720 --> 0:11:26.520 But I don't plan to stop doing this anytime soon 0:11:26.559 --> 0:11:29.959 because it brings me immense joy. It makes me very, 0:11:30.040 --> 0:11:34.400 very happy, And I just wanted to take a moment 0:11:34.440 --> 0:11:36.640 to be transparent with you guys and share what's going on, 0:11:36.640 --> 0:11:39.640 because that's what I do. So in the spirit of transparency, 0:11:39.760 --> 0:11:43.520 I have to say that I've really been feeling like 0:11:44.880 --> 0:11:48.400 my life is really really really influx and I feel off. 0:11:49.400 --> 0:11:52.720 I don't know if it is my hormones. I don't 0:11:52.720 --> 0:11:57.560 know if it's paramenopause. I don't know if it is 0:11:57.600 --> 0:12:01.160 a mild depression. I don't know if it is grief. 0:12:01.360 --> 0:12:04.560 I don't know if it is because of all of 0:12:04.600 --> 0:12:12.880 the transitions that are going on around me, particularly at work. 0:12:13.120 --> 0:12:17.199 I don't know if it is because I've been working 0:12:17.240 --> 0:12:23.840 out regularly and it's changing some of my my levels 0:12:23.960 --> 0:12:27.240 or whatever, you know, like dopamine, serotonin, like they're up 0:12:27.280 --> 0:12:29.120 and down. I don't know what the hell it is, 0:12:29.200 --> 0:12:33.320 but something is off. My spirit feels a bit of unrest, 0:12:34.320 --> 0:12:36.160 and I've been feeling this way for a while now, 0:12:36.440 --> 0:12:38.880 and I'm not, like I said, I'm not sure if 0:12:38.880 --> 0:12:42.240 it's because of the flow. Is the flow excuse me 0:12:42.280 --> 0:12:46.319 of grief? Because grief, excuse me? My nose is a 0:12:46.360 --> 0:12:50.440 little running. Forgive me it's an allergy season, because for me, 0:12:50.960 --> 0:12:58.480 allergy season is all year long. But the one thing 0:12:58.520 --> 0:13:03.880 that I can pin point is that I've noticed that 0:13:04.000 --> 0:13:07.320 since I lost my grandmother, like grief for me is 0:13:07.559 --> 0:13:12.600 very it doesn't really take form, if that makes sense. 0:13:12.720 --> 0:13:15.160 Like it's kind of all over the place. And so 0:13:17.679 --> 0:13:20.160 it's kind of like that little white lady on social 0:13:20.240 --> 0:13:26.600 media that says, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise. I can't do 0:13:26.679 --> 0:13:30.400 it this morning because you know, it's morning. I'm not 0:13:30.400 --> 0:13:32.960 even gonna tell you what time it is, but it's morning. 0:13:35.280 --> 0:13:38.520 It's very early in the morning. But you know, like 0:13:38.559 --> 0:13:41.800 I said, we gotta get shit done, stick to the 0:13:41.800 --> 0:13:46.200 game plan. So I read a few quotes about grief 0:13:46.240 --> 0:13:48.480 that really hit me in the gut, and a few 0:13:48.480 --> 0:13:50.880 of them even made me cry, like on the spot, 0:13:51.200 --> 0:13:53.080 and crying is what I do. So it's you know, 0:13:53.160 --> 0:13:55.320 it's fine, but I wanted to share them with you 0:13:55.360 --> 0:13:58.960 because maybe they will bless somebody one of you, or 0:13:59.440 --> 0:14:02.400 be a blessing to you, as they were and as 0:14:02.440 --> 0:14:07.080 they are for me. The first one likings excuse me 0:14:07.120 --> 0:14:09.800 grief to the ocean, and it says grief is like 0:14:09.840 --> 0:14:14.679 the ocean. It comes on waves, ebbing and flowing. Sometimes 0:14:14.720 --> 0:14:18.520 the water is calm and sometimes it is overwhelming. All 0:14:18.559 --> 0:14:22.280 we can do is learn to swim. And that's by 0:14:22.360 --> 0:14:25.000 Vicky Harrison. I love this because it did not say 0:14:25.680 --> 0:14:28.920 all we can do is learn to swim or drown. No, 0:14:29.440 --> 0:14:31.320 drowning is not an option. All we can do is 0:14:31.400 --> 0:14:35.120 learn to swim. You know. I love that, and I 0:14:35.120 --> 0:14:37.960 think it's just say it comes in waves, ebbing and flowing. 0:14:38.040 --> 0:14:40.160 But it's not my quote, so I'm just gonna read 0:14:40.200 --> 0:14:43.040 what I saw in the interwebs. The next one is 0:14:43.080 --> 0:14:46.560 by someone named Washington Irving and it says there's a 0:14:46.640 --> 0:14:52.000 sacredness in tears. They're not the mark of weakness, but 0:14:52.120 --> 0:14:56.600 of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. 0:14:57.440 --> 0:15:02.680 They're the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and 0:15:02.800 --> 0:15:09.000 of unspeakable love. The next two are anonymous or we 0:15:09.040 --> 0:15:13.080 don't know who I wrote them, And this one says, 0:15:13.160 --> 0:15:17.600 grief I've learned is just love. It's all the love 0:15:17.680 --> 0:15:21.120 you want to give but cannot. All of that unspent 0:15:21.320 --> 0:15:25.720 love gathers up in the corners of your eyes. They 0:15:25.720 --> 0:15:28.240 are the lump in your throat and in that hollow 0:15:28.320 --> 0:15:31.640 part of your chest. Grief is just love with no 0:15:31.760 --> 0:15:35.760 place to go. The next one says, my scars are 0:15:35.880 --> 0:15:39.680 a testament to the love and the relationship that I 0:15:39.800 --> 0:15:43.800 had for and with that person. And if the scar 0:15:43.960 --> 0:15:48.720 is deep, so was the love. And the last one 0:15:49.600 --> 0:15:54.120 comes from the prolific and philosophical mind of Winnie the Pooh, 0:15:54.200 --> 0:15:58.320 and Pooh said, if there ever comes a day when 0:15:58.360 --> 0:16:02.000 we can't be together, ooh, I'm gonna cry. Ooh, ooh 0:16:02.080 --> 0:16:06.240 see what I mean, See what the fuck I'm talking about? Anyway, 0:16:06.840 --> 0:16:09.560 let me try this again, for we need the pool. 0:16:10.040 --> 0:16:13.280 If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, 0:16:15.480 --> 0:16:19.840 keep me in your heart. I'll stay there forever. Listen, 0:16:20.320 --> 0:16:22.760 that boy pool is getting deep over here right. Wait 0:16:22.760 --> 0:16:28.120 a minute, is poor boy or girl? It's poo non 0:16:28.160 --> 0:16:32.520 binary like I don't know anyway, That's not in my business. Okay, 0:16:32.960 --> 0:16:38.400 we're just trying to stay focused. Excuse me. Sorry, see 0:16:38.400 --> 0:16:40.960 I got a little weepy there for a second. Sorry 0:16:40.960 --> 0:16:45.640 that I'm sniffling in your in your ears. But anyway, 0:16:45.680 --> 0:16:49.600 poopy and non binary or not identifying as a male 0:16:49.800 --> 0:16:53.880 or female bear, it's none of my business. So I'm 0:16:53.880 --> 0:16:57.960 gonna mind my black ass business. And you know, let's 0:16:58.040 --> 0:17:01.240 just go ahead and keep it moving. Let's move for anyway. 0:17:02.040 --> 0:17:04.600 One more quote that I really loved about how to 0:17:04.680 --> 0:17:09.359 navigate grief. Sorry, y'all, I'm trying to get it together. 0:17:10.600 --> 0:17:13.320 One more quote that I really loved focus on how 0:17:13.320 --> 0:17:17.879 to navigate grief and the instructions are really spot on. 0:17:18.000 --> 0:17:21.920 And it says, and this is from someone named Zoe 0:17:22.200 --> 0:17:25.680 Clark Coates, it says, grief is like a wild flower. 0:17:26.480 --> 0:17:31.120 It can erupt from the ground anywhere it chooses. When 0:17:31.119 --> 0:17:35.080 it blossoms, we must be careful not to step on it. Instead, 0:17:35.119 --> 0:17:40.280 we must honor its existence and appreciate that love made 0:17:40.280 --> 0:17:48.960 it bloom. I love that, because that is it. I'm 0:17:48.960 --> 0:17:51.720 going to read it again. Grief is like a wild flower. 0:17:52.440 --> 0:17:56.200 It can erupt from the ground anywhere it chooses. When 0:17:56.240 --> 0:17:59.800 it blossoms, we must be careful not to step on it. Instead, 0:17:59.840 --> 0:18:04.360 we must honor its existence and appreciate that love made 0:18:04.440 --> 0:18:09.200 it bloom. And you know, going forward, I am going 0:18:09.400 --> 0:18:15.840 to remember this lesson and I may even associate my 0:18:15.920 --> 0:18:19.840 grief with the song Wildflower. There's a song by a 0:18:19.880 --> 0:18:23.679 group called new Birth, you know the one let her cry, 0:18:25.280 --> 0:18:30.240 Oh she's a lady, She's a lady. If you don't 0:18:30.280 --> 0:18:33.920 know it, lucky for you. You know what I'm gonna do. 0:18:34.600 --> 0:18:40.720 I'm gonna put it in the show notes for you. You 0:18:39.280 --> 0:18:42.119 already know I'm gonna share it with you because my 0:18:42.280 --> 0:18:46.160 singing is not doing it any justice. For my gen xers, 0:18:46.440 --> 0:18:52.399 shout out to motherfucking gen X. You know the song. 0:18:52.560 --> 0:18:56.280 But if you don't know the song I got you covered, 0:18:56.280 --> 0:18:57.600 don't even worry about it. It's going to be in 0:18:57.640 --> 0:19:00.159 the show notes. And you know, as I listen to 0:19:00.200 --> 0:19:06.320 the words, it really really fits perfectly, Like I couldn't. 0:19:06.840 --> 0:19:11.080 I couldn't believe that it fits so perfectly. When I 0:19:11.119 --> 0:19:13.520 was getting ready to do this, you know, it just 0:19:13.560 --> 0:19:15.239 made me happy because I was just like, look at 0:19:15.240 --> 0:19:19.320 God working stuff out for me. J J Jesus. And 0:19:19.359 --> 0:19:21.719 now my grief has a song and it's not a 0:19:21.720 --> 0:19:24.720 song that I associate with sadness or it's not a 0:19:24.760 --> 0:19:28.840 depressing song. And I'm proud of myself because I was 0:19:28.880 --> 0:19:32.800 able to shift the narrative of my grief without even trying, 0:19:33.240 --> 0:19:36.440 and I promise you I did it in real time 0:19:36.560 --> 0:19:39.320 as I was working on this episode. And it just 0:19:39.720 --> 0:19:43.240 something about that pop that quote, excuse me, not that post. 0:19:43.640 --> 0:19:48.040 That quote just sent me to that song. And I 0:19:48.119 --> 0:19:50.040 now have a song for my grief. And that is 0:19:50.040 --> 0:19:56.280 why I love music, because music is art, clearly, but 0:19:56.920 --> 0:19:59.439 it can just it can just take care of all 0:19:59.520 --> 0:20:02.520 kinds of things. So thank you music. I am grateful. 0:20:03.040 --> 0:20:06.520 Shout out to music because music will hear this because 0:20:06.640 --> 0:20:12.560 music is a person. And it's really awesome because it 0:20:12.600 --> 0:20:16.120 just goes to show that when you start to do 0:20:16.480 --> 0:20:21.760 the work to heal, things will happen to help you 0:20:21.800 --> 0:20:25.439 to shift the narratives that you have formed and to 0:20:25.480 --> 0:20:30.520 shift the perspective of your world that you live in 0:20:30.760 --> 0:20:34.240 and how you see that world. And I'm grateful for that. 0:20:34.600 --> 0:20:37.440 And while I didn't plan to spend that much time 0:20:37.480 --> 0:20:41.439 on grief, sometimes you just got to let the spirit 0:20:41.520 --> 0:20:44.480 lead you. And where my spirit leads me is where 0:20:44.520 --> 0:20:48.280 I will go with joy and with happiness. So anyway, 0:20:48.800 --> 0:20:51.320 I really came here to talk to you guys today 0:20:51.400 --> 0:20:55.040 about gratitude and thinking about how I have drifted away 0:20:55.040 --> 0:20:58.240 from my own gratitude practices is what led me to 0:20:58.280 --> 0:21:03.560 thinking about grief and unaddressed and untouched grief that isn't 0:21:03.680 --> 0:21:08.879 caressed and held and nurtured and loved on with healing, 0:21:09.520 --> 0:21:12.720 can turn into something that's really ugly, like a monster. 0:21:13.320 --> 0:21:16.000 And you don't know this about me, but I'm scary 0:21:16.000 --> 0:21:18.520 as shit. I'm scared of every fucking thing. And I 0:21:18.520 --> 0:21:20.879 don't like no fucking monsters. I don't like ugly stuff. 0:21:21.160 --> 0:21:23.040 I don't is scared shit out of me putting on 0:21:23.080 --> 0:21:25.439 a mask and jumping out at me like that's kind 0:21:25.480 --> 0:21:27.240 of shit. I peel on myself like it's not okay. 0:21:27.280 --> 0:21:31.600 I don't like it. So we don't need no monsters, 0:21:31.760 --> 0:21:33.600 you know what I mean. We don't want that. Nobody 0:21:33.680 --> 0:21:37.280 likes that anyway. So, as I said, my life feels 0:21:37.320 --> 0:21:39.120 like it's out of sorts. I feel a little out 0:21:39.160 --> 0:21:41.199 of order, and you know it's crazy because I've been 0:21:41.200 --> 0:21:45.280 going to the gym regularly. I have very wonderful, meaningful, 0:21:45.359 --> 0:21:49.280 loving relationships in my life. With my friends, my family. 0:21:51.320 --> 0:21:55.160 I have meaningful relationships with my coworkers, uh, the ones 0:21:55.200 --> 0:21:57.080 that I like anyway, the ones that matter to me. 0:21:58.200 --> 0:22:01.200 And my skin is clear, you know what. Hold on, y'all, 0:22:01.240 --> 0:22:06.680 hold on. Let me remind y'all one more time. See 0:22:06.680 --> 0:22:10.200 I told y'all before in an episode earlier this year, 0:22:10.440 --> 0:22:13.240 in the Year of Our Lord on Old Dominie twenty 0:22:13.359 --> 0:22:18.200 twenty four, that y'all need to go see Alex down 0:22:18.320 --> 0:22:22.280 in Tyson's Corner or Vienna Virginia, whatever you wanna call it, 0:22:22.640 --> 0:22:25.679 at Alexandra Healing Spot. Okay, And this is not a 0:22:25.680 --> 0:22:29.520 fucking ad. This is because I don't want y'all out 0:22:29.560 --> 0:22:33.679 here with pop marks on your face looking busted, not glowing. Okay. 0:22:34.240 --> 0:22:37.600 I even gave y'all a code a couple of months 0:22:37.600 --> 0:22:41.760 ago for when you book your first appointment. And there's 0:22:41.840 --> 0:22:44.439 actually a couple of videos on my social media page 0:22:44.440 --> 0:22:49.320 where excuse me, I'm a collaborator on the video, so 0:22:49.600 --> 0:22:53.160 when Alex posted it, you could see it. But it 0:22:53.200 --> 0:22:55.240 was one that was just posted last week on my 0:22:55.320 --> 0:22:58.800 Instagram page of my last visit with Alex and I 0:22:58.880 --> 0:23:02.119 got a process done called micro needling, And let me 0:23:02.200 --> 0:23:11.040 tell you something, baby, b Does it hurt? No, I 0:23:11.119 --> 0:23:13.080 have a higher tolerance or pain, so I'm probably not 0:23:13.080 --> 0:23:16.439 the best person to ask. It doesn't feel great, but 0:23:16.520 --> 0:23:19.200 it does not hurt. But let me tell you something. 0:23:19.760 --> 0:23:22.000 My skin is gl la la la la la lowing. 0:23:22.280 --> 0:23:25.840 You should call me glow Riller because my skin is glowing. Okay, 0:23:26.920 --> 0:23:29.440 people always talking about their face. Card not decline and 0:23:29.480 --> 0:23:32.320 take your fucking makeup off, though. Let me see what 0:23:32.359 --> 0:23:34.720 your makeup look like, and what your makeup look like 0:23:35.119 --> 0:23:37.000 when you ain't gotten. I mean, tell me what your 0:23:37.000 --> 0:23:39.840 face look like with no makeup, and I mean no makeup, 0:23:39.920 --> 0:23:42.679 no concealer, not even no moisturizer. Tell me what your 0:23:42.680 --> 0:23:45.480 face look like when you just put some essence on 0:23:45.520 --> 0:23:48.720 your face, Wash your face, put some essence on. Don't 0:23:48.720 --> 0:23:50.720 even put your serum on yet, cause serum can give 0:23:50.720 --> 0:23:53.040 you a little bit of a glaze. Just put your 0:23:53.119 --> 0:23:56.119 essence on, which is what you put on before your serum. 0:23:56.280 --> 0:23:58.240 And if you don't know what essence is, I'm not 0:23:58.280 --> 0:24:03.200 talking about the magazine, shout out to Essence magazine. I'm 0:24:03.240 --> 0:24:05.719 over here talking about skincare ladies, and you know what, 0:24:06.000 --> 0:24:13.760 and gentlemen, because don't nobody want no man with no ashy, dusty, unexfoliated, flaky, 0:24:15.480 --> 0:24:19.320 super poor large skin. Don't nobody want to do with 0:24:19.440 --> 0:24:24.600 nasty skin either, And they sell too many products targeted 0:24:24.680 --> 0:24:29.680 and specifically four men for grooming and to take care 0:24:29.720 --> 0:24:32.840 of yourself that y'all walking around here will busted up skin. 0:24:33.040 --> 0:24:35.480 It don't make no sense. If you ain't gonna go 0:24:35.520 --> 0:24:38.200 get a facial, if you ain't gonna go and lay down, 0:24:38.280 --> 0:24:40.800 let somebody tend to your skin, give your own self 0:24:40.800 --> 0:24:43.480 a facial, watch some videos on YouTube and figure out 0:24:43.520 --> 0:24:44.919 how to do it. A lot of y'all got beards. 0:24:44.920 --> 0:24:46.919 When you go to the barbershop, they give you a 0:24:46.920 --> 0:24:51.840 little lightweight facial. Take care of yourself, brothers, okay, because 0:24:51.840 --> 0:24:54.000 don't nobody want to see you out here looking dusty 0:24:54.359 --> 0:24:59.719 and ashy and dusty and ashy anyway, And I'm not 0:24:59.760 --> 0:25:02.080 talking I'm about just putting grease on your face, because 0:25:02.080 --> 0:25:04.000 it goes beyond that, because you've got to take it off. 0:25:04.320 --> 0:25:10.800 The true understanding and not understand not the word I want. 0:25:12.320 --> 0:25:13.879 I don't know the word I'm trying to think of 0:25:13.920 --> 0:25:17.040 because I told you early in the morning. But when 0:25:17.119 --> 0:25:20.639 you really have a glow you'll see the glow even 0:25:20.840 --> 0:25:24.760 when you don't have any moisturize on your face. That's 0:25:24.800 --> 0:25:28.480 when you know you're glowing. Anyway, that's enough of that, 0:25:28.680 --> 0:25:30.879 so go look through my show notes because I'm not 0:25:31.040 --> 0:25:33.960 going to I gave you the juice already, like I 0:25:34.280 --> 0:25:37.640 gave you the product. Ira gave you the juice. Now 0:25:38.119 --> 0:25:40.120 look through my show notes from this year. It ain't 0:25:40.119 --> 0:25:43.560 been that long. Excuse me. Go look through the show notes, 0:25:43.560 --> 0:25:46.919 find the link and the code and go. If you 0:25:46.960 --> 0:25:50.320 are in the DMV area, go pay Alex a visit 0:25:50.359 --> 0:25:57.680 and get your face together. Anyway, back to gratitude, Sorry guys. 0:25:58.359 --> 0:26:02.280 So anyway, now, as I realized that my spirit was 0:26:02.320 --> 0:26:04.480 not set on and I started to look closely at 0:26:04.520 --> 0:26:06.879 what was going on, I was having a lot of 0:26:06.960 --> 0:26:13.520 negative thoughts. I've been feeling really tired. The thing that 0:26:13.600 --> 0:26:16.560 really has me jacked up is I've been feeling stuck. 0:26:17.080 --> 0:26:23.399 I hate that feeling because I used to experience it 0:26:23.440 --> 0:26:27.000 a lot in my twenties before I really got into 0:26:27.760 --> 0:26:31.840 a heavy healing journey, or even before I started where 0:26:31.880 --> 0:26:36.480 I would feel stuck. I have been experiencing feelings of 0:26:36.480 --> 0:26:40.000 self doubt, not believing in myself you know, just not 0:26:40.119 --> 0:26:42.840 being kind to myself and kind of feeling numb, where 0:26:42.840 --> 0:26:45.959 I'm like just coasting right through life instead of living. 0:26:46.160 --> 0:26:49.200 And it's easy to overlook being in this space, especially 0:26:49.240 --> 0:26:53.000 when it could be some stuff that you know isn't 0:26:53.080 --> 0:26:56.479 quite going right in our lives, or life isn't pinning 0:26:56.480 --> 0:26:59.240 out the way we wanted to, whether that's in your 0:26:59.320 --> 0:27:03.320 relationship or in love that we're dealing with, if you're 0:27:03.400 --> 0:27:07.600 unhappy at work, feeling unfulfilled, like we often just attribute 0:27:07.640 --> 0:27:09.800 it to these things. And that's not to say that 0:27:09.840 --> 0:27:13.760 life's woes can't or doesn't play a part in it. 0:27:14.200 --> 0:27:18.320 But I soon recognize where the void was or where 0:27:18.359 --> 0:27:22.159 the hole was for me, and I realized that what 0:27:22.320 --> 0:27:25.560