Speaker 1: Hand Me My Purse is a production of iHeart Podcasts.
Speaker 1: So as I was scrolling through Lisa Bone's Internet, I
Speaker 1: found something that made me think and it said the
Speaker 1: energy for twenty twenty four is love me well or
Speaker 1: leave me alone. And of course that was Young Pueblo,
Speaker 1: the Internet guru, the social media guru, love me well
Speaker 1: or leave me alone. And that's the energy I'm on
Speaker 1: for this year. Either you love me well or going
Speaker 1: about your business, because I don't really have a lot
Speaker 1: of room nor space for anyone who was not loving
Speaker 1: me well, because this year I am hyper focused on
Speaker 1: making sure that I love me well, and when I
Speaker 1: love me well, not only around people to be not
Speaker 1: only around while I only allow people to be close
Speaker 1: to me who are gonna love me well. So again,
Speaker 1: the energy for twenty twenty four is love me well
Speaker 1: or leave me alone.
Speaker 2: She's get your round.
Speaker 1: I can't see the thing that happened. Okay, what's up, y'all?
Speaker 1: Welcome to hand Me My Purse Podcast. I am and
Speaker 1: Me Walker and I will be here forever, host each
Speaker 1: and every single time you tune into this podcast. So
Speaker 1: go ahead and get comfortable, get yourself a glass of
Speaker 1: your favorite beverage, whether that's a Lacroix, hibiscuits, seltzer, water,
Speaker 1: some gingerreo, a hot cup of black coffee with sugar,
Speaker 1: or a dark rum and a coke. Go light yourself
Speaker 1: a candle, some incense or burn some sage and just
Speaker 1: get ready to chill out and have a good time.
Speaker 1: What's up, friends and kin. It's Mimi Resident Auntie Supreme
Speaker 1: here at Hamming My Purse the podcast, and today I
Speaker 1: am sipping on some tea. I'm sure you can hear it.
Speaker 1: My voice sounds a little groggy. That's because it's early
Speaker 1: in the morning, and I'm recording this because by any
Speaker 1: means necessary, we get that work done over here, okay,
Speaker 1: And so I sound a little bit like Buster Rhymes.
Speaker 1: And this is how I sound in the morning. Actually
Speaker 1: it's worse than that. I've been drinking on some hot tea.
Speaker 1: So the tea that I'm drinking is a tea called
Speaker 1: Get Relaxed, and the other one is called Calm Buddha Blend.
Speaker 1: And actually I just looked. Let me tell you somehow
Speaker 1: God works. You know, tea brands always print, well not always,
Speaker 1: but some of them, excuse me, print little messages on
Speaker 1: their little tea ticker things. At the end, this one says,
Speaker 1: and it is so on time and on time with
Speaker 1: the message for today, what you think you become? Well,
Speaker 1: all right, then what I think I become? And you
Speaker 1: know what that is why we have to fill our
Speaker 1: thoughts with goodness. So that's what I'm sipping on. What
Speaker 1: are y'all sipping on today? I don't know what you're
Speaker 1: sipping on because I can't hear you, but I think
Speaker 1: you should tell me anyway, because I'm very curious to
Speaker 1: know what y'all drink. I want y'all to know that
Speaker 1: I love when you leave me messages on Instagram or
Speaker 1: on Spotify and tell me which you're drinking or which
Speaker 1: you're sipping. I find that a lot of you are
Speaker 1: drinking water, and I am impressed because I don't drink
Speaker 1: enough water. And the irony of me not drinking enough
Speaker 1: water is that I own probably close to fifty traveler cups,
Speaker 1: you know, between the company who shall not be named
Speaker 1: and a hydroflask and to stan Lee's and other random
Speaker 1: cups that I've buy. I have over fifty, and I
Speaker 1: still don't drink enough water. You know, that's a problem. Okay, guys,
Speaker 1: it's a problem, but one thing at a time, and
Speaker 1: so right now focused on with this little thing on
Speaker 1: this tee thing says, which is what you think you become.
Speaker 1: Let's go ahead and get into it. Why don't we? So,
Speaker 1: friends and came for today's jam. I found this song.
Speaker 1: I don't even know how in the hell I found
Speaker 1: this song. Now then we're in it, but it is
Speaker 1: a feel good song. It's by a gentleman that I
Speaker 1: don't I never heard of him before hearing this song.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to remember where I heard this song of
Speaker 1: how I was introduced to it. I think it was
Speaker 1: very randomly. I was sitting probably working on handy in
Speaker 1: my purse and it popped up and I was like, damn,
Speaker 1: this is hot. Maybe it was on like one of
Speaker 1: my Spotify play radio playlists. Anyway, it's by a young
Speaker 1: man and he is from Fayetteville, North Carolina. His name
Speaker 1: is Arsley A r z l e E. Never heard
Speaker 1: of him before, never never, never never never. But when
Speaker 1: I tell you, this song takes me back to like
Speaker 1: the nineties. It's giving very much nineties R and B.
Speaker 1: And anyone who knows me knows that I love Me
Speaker 1: some nineties R and B, eighties and nineties R and B.
Speaker 1: Actually it is. It's an adult song, and the song
Speaker 1: is called Pottery, and basically he's talking about I'm saying
Speaker 1: you can mold me and bend me any way you want,
Speaker 1: like pottery, because I'm yours to mold and bend. Okay,
Speaker 1: So listen to it. It's good. It makes me think
Speaker 1: about when songs were sensual and sexual without being disgusting.
Speaker 1: Remember those days, guys. That was a while ago. But
Speaker 1: do you remember yesterday's price? It's not two days price.
Speaker 1: So he's talking about you know, I think he's talking
Speaker 1: about the sex. Don't get me wrong. I could be
Speaker 1: wrong because art is left up to interpretation, but you know,
Speaker 1: maybe that's what I'm on. Maybe I'm in that mental space,
Speaker 1: but I think he is. And it's it's a beautiful song.
Speaker 1: His voice is he sings in his head voice right,
Speaker 1: and so it's very falsetto and light, but it's very controlled.
Speaker 1: It's very beautiful and the song is just a groove.
Speaker 1: So let's go ahead and get into it. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: stop talking so much about it because I want you
Speaker 1: to listen to it. But it definitely gives me nineties
Speaker 1: mid to late nineties vibes. Actually, it's so good and
Speaker 1: it makes me feel like maybe there's gonna be and
Speaker 1: not to say there aren't, because there's so many artists
Speaker 1: that I don't know about, like Arsley, but it just
Speaker 1: made me think about the fact that, you know, I
Speaker 1: would love it if like whole, full bodied, robust R
Speaker 1: and B came back, not all of this like Bubblegum
Speaker 1: baby powder Voice doing nine hundred church runs. You know
Speaker 1: social media singing R and B that we see a
Speaker 1: lot on social media. I'm talking about full bodied R
Speaker 1: and B. And the wonderful thing about R and B
Speaker 1: is that you don't have to be a good singer.
Speaker 1: I prefer for the person to be able to sing well,
Speaker 1: and this guy can sing. But it's about the energy
Speaker 1: and the song and the lyrics and the music and
Speaker 1: the arrangement and the feeling, as the young people say,
Speaker 1: the vibe. I'm here for the vibes. Okay, So anyway,
Speaker 1: get into Ursley Pottery. Tell me what you like. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna try to post it on social media. Hopefully it'll
Speaker 1: be in the Instagram. You know what I'm trying to say,
Speaker 1: the music dictionary. Don't play with me. I'm getting old
Speaker 1: the music dictionary thing where I can put it behind
Speaker 1: like one of my social media posts. But if not,
Speaker 1: you know where to find it. It's in the show notes.
Speaker 1: Click on the link, listen to it, tell me what
Speaker 1: you think, and let's go ahead and get this porty
Speaker 1: store ted babyd me to well the.
Speaker 2: Baby Jilly.
Speaker 1: Okay, So, friends and ken, this is going to be
Speaker 1: an interesting one. This show, as I was prepping for it,
Speaker 1: took a turn and went in a direction that I
Speaker 1: didn't expect it to go in. But I brought it
Speaker 1: back to where it was supposed to be. Sorry about that.
Speaker 1: Life is out here lifing and I am out here
Speaker 1: living right because that's all we can do. We either
Speaker 1: live or we die. And in this moment, I want
Speaker 1: to say that I am grateful for living. And if
Speaker 1: you have been down with handing my purse since the
Speaker 1: days of old, you know one thing I will do
Speaker 1: is focus on gratitude, share which all and make it
Speaker 1: a challenge. We're gonna we're gonna be going back to
Speaker 1: the old school because I'm an old fool who's so cool?
Speaker 1: What you know about that? Anyway?
Speaker 2: Stick to the game plan.
Speaker 1: I felt like it was time for checking and for
Speaker 1: some transparency. And y'all know, here, hand me my purse.
Speaker 1: We are a family. We is to gather. We is
Speaker 1: to gather forever or until I am not doing this anymore.
Speaker 1: But I don't plan to stop doing this anytime soon
Speaker 1: because it brings me immense joy. It makes me very,
Speaker 1: very happy, And I just wanted to take a moment
Speaker 1: to be transparent with you guys and share what's going on,
Speaker 1: because that's what I do. So in the spirit of transparency,
Speaker 1: I have to say that I've really been feeling like
Speaker 1: my life is really really really influx and I feel off.
Speaker 1: I don't know if it is my hormones. I don't
Speaker 1: know if it's paramenopause. I don't know if it is
Speaker 1: a mild depression. I don't know if it is grief.
Speaker 1: I don't know if it is because of all of
Speaker 1: the transitions that are going on around me, particularly at work.
Speaker 1: I don't know if it is because I've been working
Speaker 1: out regularly and it's changing some of my my levels
Speaker 1: or whatever, you know, like dopamine, serotonin, like they're up
Speaker 1: and down. I don't know what the hell it is,
Speaker 1: but something is off. My spirit feels a bit of unrest,
Speaker 1: and I've been feeling this way for a while now,
Speaker 1: and I'm not, like I said, I'm not sure if
Speaker 1: it's because of the flow. Is the flow excuse me
Speaker 1: of grief? Because grief, excuse me? My nose is a
Speaker 1: little running. Forgive me it's an allergy season, because for me,
Speaker 1: allergy season is all year long. But the one thing
Speaker 1: that I can pin point is that I've noticed that
Speaker 1: since I lost my grandmother, like grief for me is
Speaker 1: very it doesn't really take form, if that makes sense.
Speaker 1: Like it's kind of all over the place. And so
Speaker 1: it's kind of like that little white lady on social
Speaker 1: media that says, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise. I can't do
Speaker 1: it this morning because you know, it's morning. I'm not
Speaker 1: even gonna tell you what time it is, but it's morning.
Speaker 1: It's very early in the morning. But you know, like
Speaker 1: I said, we gotta get shit done, stick to the
Speaker 1: game plan. So I read a few quotes about grief
Speaker 1: that really hit me in the gut, and a few
Speaker 1: of them even made me cry, like on the spot,
Speaker 1: and crying is what I do. So it's you know,
Speaker 1: it's fine, but I wanted to share them with you
Speaker 1: because maybe they will bless somebody one of you, or
Speaker 1: be a blessing to you, as they were and as
Speaker 1: they are for me. The first one likings excuse me
Speaker 1: grief to the ocean, and it says grief is like
Speaker 1: the ocean. It comes on waves, ebbing and flowing. Sometimes
Speaker 1: the water is calm and sometimes it is overwhelming. All
Speaker 1: we can do is learn to swim. And that's by
Speaker 1: Vicky Harrison. I love this because it did not say
Speaker 1: all we can do is learn to swim or drown. No,
Speaker 1: drowning is not an option. All we can do is
Speaker 1: learn to swim. You know. I love that, and I
Speaker 1: think it's just say it comes in waves, ebbing and flowing.
Speaker 1: But it's not my quote, so I'm just gonna read
Speaker 1: what I saw in the interwebs. The next one is
Speaker 1: by someone named Washington Irving and it says there's a
Speaker 1: sacredness in tears. They're not the mark of weakness, but
Speaker 1: of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues.
Speaker 1: They're the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and
Speaker 1: of unspeakable love. The next two are anonymous or we
Speaker 1: don't know who I wrote them, And this one says,
Speaker 1: grief I've learned is just love. It's all the love
Speaker 1: you want to give but cannot. All of that unspent
Speaker 1: love gathers up in the corners of your eyes. They
Speaker 1: are the lump in your throat and in that hollow
Speaker 1: part of your chest. Grief is just love with no
Speaker 1: place to go. The next one says, my scars are
Speaker 1: a testament to the love and the relationship that I
Speaker 1: had for and with that person. And if the scar
Speaker 1: is deep, so was the love. And the last one
Speaker 1: comes from the prolific and philosophical mind of Winnie the Pooh,
Speaker 1: and Pooh said, if there ever comes a day when
Speaker 1: we can't be together, ooh, I'm gonna cry. Ooh, ooh
Speaker 1: see what I mean, See what the fuck I'm talking about? Anyway,
Speaker 1: let me try this again, for we need the pool.
Speaker 1: If there ever comes a day when we can't be together,
Speaker 1: keep me in your heart. I'll stay there forever. Listen,
Speaker 1: that boy pool is getting deep over here right. Wait
Speaker 1: a minute, is poor boy or girl? It's poo non
Speaker 1: binary like I don't know anyway, That's not in my business. Okay,
Speaker 1: we're just trying to stay focused. Excuse me. Sorry, see
Speaker 1: I got a little weepy there for a second. Sorry
Speaker 1: that I'm sniffling in your in your ears. But anyway,
Speaker 1: poopy and non binary or not identifying as a male
Speaker 1: or female bear, it's none of my business. So I'm
Speaker 1: gonna mind my black ass business. And you know, let's
Speaker 1: just go ahead and keep it moving. Let's move for anyway.
Speaker 1: One more quote that I really loved about how to
Speaker 1: navigate grief. Sorry, y'all, I'm trying to get it together.
Speaker 1: One more quote that I really loved focus on how
Speaker 1: to navigate grief and the instructions are really spot on.
Speaker 1: And it says, and this is from someone named Zoe
Speaker 1: Clark Coates, it says, grief is like a wild flower.
Speaker 1: It can erupt from the ground anywhere it chooses. When
Speaker 1: it blossoms, we must be careful not to step on it. Instead,
Speaker 1: we must honor its existence and appreciate that love made
Speaker 1: it bloom. I love that, because that is it. I'm
Speaker 1: going to read it again. Grief is like a wild flower.
Speaker 1: It can erupt from the ground anywhere it chooses. When
Speaker 1: it blossoms, we must be careful not to step on it. Instead,
Speaker 1: we must honor its existence and appreciate that love made
Speaker 1: it bloom. And you know, going forward, I am going
Speaker 1: to remember this lesson and I may even associate my
Speaker 1: grief with the song Wildflower. There's a song by a
Speaker 1: group called new Birth, you know the one let her cry,
Speaker 1: Oh she's a lady, She's a lady. If you don't
Speaker 1: know it, lucky for you. You know what I'm gonna do.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna put it in the show notes for you. You
Speaker 1: already know I'm gonna share it with you because my
Speaker 1: singing is not doing it any justice. For my gen xers,
Speaker 1: shout out to motherfucking gen X. You know the song.
Speaker 1: But if you don't know the song I got you covered,
Speaker 1: don't even worry about it. It's going to be in
Speaker 1: the show notes. And you know, as I listen to
Speaker 1: the words, it really really fits perfectly, Like I couldn't.
Speaker 1: I couldn't believe that it fits so perfectly. When I
Speaker 1: was getting ready to do this, you know, it just
Speaker 1: made me happy because I was just like, look at
Speaker 1: God working stuff out for me. J J Jesus. And
Speaker 1: now my grief has a song and it's not a
Speaker 1: song that I associate with sadness or it's not a
Speaker 1: depressing song. And I'm proud of myself because I was
Speaker 1: able to shift the narrative of my grief without even trying,
Speaker 1: and I promise you I did it in real time
Speaker 1: as I was working on this episode. And it just
Speaker 1: something about that pop that quote, excuse me, not that post.
Speaker 1: That quote just sent me to that song. And I
Speaker 1: now have a song for my grief. And that is
Speaker 1: why I love music, because music is art, clearly, but
Speaker 1: it can just it can just take care of all
Speaker 1: kinds of things. So thank you music. I am grateful.
Speaker 1: Shout out to music because music will hear this because
Speaker 1: music is a person. And it's really awesome because it
Speaker 1: just goes to show that when you start to do
Speaker 1: the work to heal, things will happen to help you
Speaker 1: to shift the narratives that you have formed and to
Speaker 1: shift the perspective of your world that you live in
Speaker 1: and how you see that world. And I'm grateful for that.
Speaker 1: And while I didn't plan to spend that much time
Speaker 1: on grief, sometimes you just got to let the spirit
Speaker 1: lead you. And where my spirit leads me is where
Speaker 1: I will go with joy and with happiness. So anyway,
Speaker 1: I really came here to talk to you guys today
Speaker 1: about gratitude and thinking about how I have drifted away
Speaker 1: from my own gratitude practices is what led me to
Speaker 1: thinking about grief and unaddressed and untouched grief that isn't
Speaker 1: caressed and held and nurtured and loved on with healing,
Speaker 1: can turn into something that's really ugly, like a monster.
Speaker 1: And you don't know this about me, but I'm scary
Speaker 1: as shit. I'm scared of every fucking thing. And I
Speaker 1: don't like no fucking monsters. I don't like ugly stuff.
Speaker 1: I don't is scared shit out of me putting on
Speaker 1: a mask and jumping out at me like that's kind
Speaker 1: of shit. I peel on myself like it's not okay.
Speaker 1: I don't like it. So we don't need no monsters,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. We don't want that. Nobody
Speaker 1: likes that anyway. So, as I said, my life feels
Speaker 1: like it's out of sorts. I feel a little out
Speaker 1: of order, and you know it's crazy because I've been
Speaker 1: going to the gym regularly. I have very wonderful, meaningful,
Speaker 1: loving relationships in my life. With my friends, my family.
Speaker 1: I have meaningful relationships with my coworkers, uh, the ones
Speaker 1: that I like anyway, the ones that matter to me.
Speaker 1: And my skin is clear, you know what. Hold on, y'all,
Speaker 1: hold on. Let me remind y'all one more time. See
Speaker 1: I told y'all before in an episode earlier this year,
Speaker 1: in the Year of Our Lord on Old Dominie twenty
Speaker 1: twenty four, that y'all need to go see Alex down
Speaker 1: in Tyson's Corner or Vienna Virginia, whatever you wanna call it,
Speaker 1: at Alexandra Healing Spot. Okay, And this is not a
Speaker 1: fucking ad. This is because I don't want y'all out
Speaker 1: here with pop marks on your face looking busted, not glowing. Okay.
Speaker 1: I even gave y'all a code a couple of months
Speaker 1: ago for when you book your first appointment. And there's
Speaker 1: actually a couple of videos on my social media page
Speaker 1: where excuse me, I'm a collaborator on the video, so
Speaker 1: when Alex posted it, you could see it. But it
Speaker 1: was one that was just posted last week on my
Speaker 1: Instagram page of my last visit with Alex and I
Speaker 1: got a process done called micro needling, And let me
Speaker 1: tell you something, baby, b Does it hurt? No, I
Speaker 1: have a higher tolerance or pain, so I'm probably not
Speaker 1: the best person to ask. It doesn't feel great, but
Speaker 1: it does not hurt. But let me tell you something.
Speaker 1: My skin is gl la la la la la lowing.
Speaker 1: You should call me glow Riller because my skin is glowing. Okay,
Speaker 1: people always talking about their face. Card not decline and
Speaker 1: take your fucking makeup off, though. Let me see what
Speaker 1: your makeup look like, and what your makeup look like
Speaker 1: when you ain't gotten. I mean, tell me what your
Speaker 1: face look like with no makeup, and I mean no makeup,
Speaker 1: no concealer, not even no moisturizer. Tell me what your
Speaker 1: face look like when you just put some essence on
Speaker 1: your face, Wash your face, put some essence on. Don't
Speaker 1: even put your serum on yet, cause serum can give
Speaker 1: you a little bit of a glaze. Just put your
Speaker 1: essence on, which is what you put on before your serum.
Speaker 1: And if you don't know what essence is, I'm not
Speaker 1: talking about the magazine, shout out to Essence magazine. I'm
Speaker 1: over here talking about skincare ladies, and you know what,
Speaker 1: and gentlemen, because don't nobody want no man with no ashy, dusty, unexfoliated, flaky,
Speaker 1: super poor large skin. Don't nobody want to do with
Speaker 1: nasty skin either, And they sell too many products targeted
Speaker 1: and specifically four men for grooming and to take care
Speaker 1: of yourself that y'all walking around here will busted up skin.
Speaker 1: It don't make no sense. If you ain't gonna go
Speaker 1: get a facial, if you ain't gonna go and lay down,
Speaker 1: let somebody tend to your skin, give your own self
Speaker 1: a facial, watch some videos on YouTube and figure out
Speaker 1: how to do it. A lot of y'all got beards.
Speaker 1: When you go to the barbershop, they give you a
Speaker 1: little lightweight facial. Take care of yourself, brothers, okay, because
Speaker 1: don't nobody want to see you out here looking dusty
Speaker 1: and ashy and dusty and ashy anyway, And I'm not
Speaker 1: talking I'm about just putting grease on your face, because
Speaker 1: it goes beyond that, because you've got to take it off.
Speaker 1: The true understanding and not understand not the word I want.
Speaker 1: I don't know the word I'm trying to think of
Speaker 1: because I told you early in the morning. But when
Speaker 1: you really have a glow you'll see the glow even
Speaker 1: when you don't have any moisturize on your face. That's
Speaker 1: when you know you're glowing. Anyway, that's enough of that,
Speaker 1: so go look through my show notes because I'm not
Speaker 1: going to I gave you the juice already, like I
Speaker 1: gave you the product. Ira gave you the juice. Now
Speaker 1: look through my show notes from this year. It ain't
Speaker 1: been that long. Excuse me. Go look through the show notes,
Speaker 1: find the link and the code and go. If you
Speaker 1: are in the DMV area, go pay Alex a visit
Speaker 1: and get your face together. Anyway, back to gratitude, Sorry guys.
Speaker 1: So anyway, now, as I realized that my spirit was
Speaker 1: not set on and I started to look closely at
Speaker 1: what was going on, I was having a lot of
Speaker 1: negative thoughts. I've been feeling really tired. The thing that
Speaker 1: really has me jacked up is I've been feeling stuck.
Speaker 1: I hate that feeling because I used to experience it
Speaker 1: a lot in my twenties before I really got into
Speaker 1: a heavy healing journey, or even before I started where
Speaker 1: I would feel stuck. I have been experiencing feelings of
Speaker 1: self doubt, not believing in myself you know, just not
Speaker 1: being kind to myself and kind of feeling numb, where
Speaker 1: I'm like just coasting right through life instead of living.
Speaker 1: And it's easy to overlook being in this space, especially
Speaker 1: when it could be some stuff that you know isn't
Speaker 1: quite going right in our lives, or life isn't pinning
Speaker 1: out the way we wanted to, whether that's in your
Speaker 1: relationship or in love that we're dealing with, if you're
Speaker 1: unhappy at work, feeling unfulfilled, like we often just attribute
Speaker 1: it to these things. And that's not to say that
Speaker 1: life's woes can't or doesn't play a part in it.
Speaker 1: But I soon recognize where the void was or where
Speaker 1: the hole was for me, and I realized that what
Speaker 1: was missing was supreme gratitude in my life. That's what
Speaker 1: it is. I figured it out. So when we are
Speaker 1: living a life that is lacking in supreme gratitude, we suffer.
Speaker 1: And some of you are probably like, well, Mimi, what
Speaker 1: do you mean by supreme gratitude? Let me break it down. Okay,
Speaker 1: Supreme is an adjective. It means in this instance, very great, intense,
Speaker 1: or extreme. So therefore, and hence fourth friends again, I
Speaker 1: am talking about intense and supreme gratitude. Well, Mimi, what
Speaker 1: does that look like? I thought you'd never ask. That
Speaker 1: simply means that you are focused on being grateful for
Speaker 1: your entire existence, from the Ruda to the Tuda, from
Speaker 1: the car we drive, to the gas in the car
Speaker 1: that powers the engine, to the heat in the car
Speaker 1: that keeps us warm, to the ability to watch the
Speaker 1: moon from the driver's seat of your car while you
Speaker 1: drive on the highway to go get yourself some French fries,
Speaker 1: because that's what you want. You feel me, You get
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. You're picking up what I'm talking about. Basically,
Speaker 1: what it means is that you are not overlooking much
Speaker 1: of anything, so something as grandiose as being grateful that
Speaker 1: you have a home, or being grateful that you can run,
Speaker 1: that you have legs, to being grateful that you have
Speaker 1: let hairy legs, being grateful that you can afford razors
Speaker 1: to shave your hairy legs, being grateful that you can
Speaker 1: buy moisturizer and cream or oil to moisturize your legs
Speaker 1: after you shave them, to being grateful to have socks,
Speaker 1: to being grateful to have shoes, to being grateful to
Speaker 1: have the ability to run and walk outside and enjoy
Speaker 1: the air, to the ability to smell being grateful for
Speaker 1: the flowers that are here. I mean, like you don't
Speaker 1: really miss anything. Intense gratitude or extreme gratitude is extremely specific.
Speaker 1: It's very intentional. It's laser focused. And again, pay attention
Speaker 1: to me when I say it is very, very very intentional.
Speaker 1: Gratitude has a lot of proven psychological and physiological benefits
Speaker 1: like higher levels of happiness, better sleep, increase mindfulness, less stress,
Speaker 1: and a healthier body. And so it's funny that I
Speaker 1: read this because I've been going to the gym. I've
Speaker 1: been working out, but I've been realizing that the scale
Speaker 1: is not really moving. It'll move like maybe between four
Speaker 1: to six pounds, right, And to me, that's typical. That's
Speaker 1: my typical, like twenty eight day cycle weight shift because
Speaker 1: I used to monitor my weight very closely because and
Speaker 1: some people say, oh, it's not good to do that.
Speaker 1: You shouldn't weigh yourself every day, mind you fucking business
Speaker 1: and do what works for you. It's not a bad
Speaker 1: thing to do. It's a bad thing to do if
Speaker 1: you become obsessive about your weight and you get depressed
Speaker 1: because you're not losing weight or you're gaining weight. I
Speaker 1: don't get depressed about that. I've been big on my life.
Speaker 1: What am I gonna get depressed about it? Now? I've
Speaker 1: always done it because it's smart to pay attention to
Speaker 1: how your body shifts in weight, especially as a woman
Speaker 1: over a twenty eight day span, which is your cycle.
Speaker 1: I know what foods or what drinks make me my
Speaker 1: weight go up. I recognize when I'm not drinking enough water.
Speaker 1: I recognize when I drink alcohol, my weight definitely goes up.
Speaker 1: I can tell when there's a lot of inflammation in
Speaker 1: my body just by monitoring my weight daily. Now, lately
Speaker 1: I have not been doing it because my training tell
Speaker 1: me not to, but I'm going to go back to
Speaker 1: doing it eventually. Now I just do it like every
Speaker 1: two weeks. But anyway, once again, I digress. But I'm
Speaker 1: just saying, I'm just trying to let y'all know some stuff.
Speaker 1: I just want y'all to be aware of some shit.
Speaker 1: But anyway, it's interesting that it talks about a healthier
Speaker 1: body because I have been going to the gym. At
Speaker 1: one point, I had shifted my eating habits. They have
Speaker 1: gotten not so great again because I had a little,
Speaker 1: a little, a little fall, and you know, you know,
Speaker 1: you know, you know when your body is out of whack.
Speaker 1: So I'm excited about trying to get back, not trying
Speaker 1: to get back because I'm going to do it. I'm
Speaker 1: excited about getting back into my gratitude practice because I'm
Speaker 1: excited to see the changes that are going to take
Speaker 1: place not just mentally, emotionally, psychologically, but also physically for me.
Speaker 1: And so when we are intentional about our gratitude, it
Speaker 1: can improve the functionality of our everyday lives. Here's a
Speaker 1: few ways that we can do that. So one, it
Speaker 1: can improve our mental well being by fostering a positive
Speaker 1: outlook and reducing stress. We all know they all the time.
Speaker 1: And if you don't know stress, the chemical in our
Speaker 1: bodies that produce a stress called cortisol. Cortisol is found
Speaker 1: oftentimes it affects your mid section, like your stomach, your waistline,
Speaker 1: all those areas. So all that shit is connected, friends,
Speaker 1: and can Okay. Next, it can strengthen relationships in our
Speaker 1: lives because we are expressing appreciation for the people that
Speaker 1: are in our lives, whether there are people that we love,
Speaker 1: and like or people that we are not fond of.
Speaker 1: Everyone is in our lives for and with a purpose,
Speaker 1: and we know that that's a fact because people are
Speaker 1: either a blessing or a lesson in our lives, and
Speaker 1: we need lessons and we love blessings. Right. It can
Speaker 1: also help to cultivate the feelings and true understanding of
Speaker 1: abundance and satisfaction with what we already have been blessed with.
Speaker 1: That one is important for me anyway. Once again, it
Speaker 1: says it can help cultivate the feelings and true and
Speaker 1: cultivate the true understanding of abundance and satisfaction with what
Speaker 1: we already have been blessed with. Lastly, it also increases
Speaker 1: resilience by always focusing on the wonderful things in our lives,
Speaker 1: even during difficult times or difficult situations. And for me,
Speaker 1: this is why a gratitude ritual is important. And clearly
Speaker 1: I have strayed away from my gratitude rituals just because
Speaker 1: life be life and the fuck out of me sometimes,
Speaker 1: you know, And I'm not perfect. I am not a guru,
Speaker 1: I am not a being a human. I am a
Speaker 1: human being, but I am not a being that is
Speaker 1: without flaw without fault, and neither are you. And I
Speaker 1: think it's important for us us to show some grace
Speaker 1: to ourselves and some mercy because life is not easy.
Speaker 1: It is difficult, and we have to be gentle with ourselves.
Speaker 1: And so in the spirit of being gentle with myself,
Speaker 1: I am going to get back into my daily gratitude
Speaker 1: practice and I want to share that with you in
Speaker 1: that experience with you. And the way that I do
Speaker 1: that with you, guys, is by doing a gratitude challenge.
Speaker 1: And so I've done gratitude challenges in the past. There
Speaker 1: are several episodes with it. I know. The first one
Speaker 1: I did was in November of twenty twenty one, and
Speaker 1: it was amazing. It was amazing, It was amazing. Orhere's
Speaker 1: that the only one, No, I think I did it twice.
Speaker 1: One of them I was really really vocal about, and
Speaker 1: that's the one in November twenty twenty one. So in
Speaker 1: the spirit of doing that challenge, I noticed that a
Speaker 1: lot of amazing things opened up for me and my
Speaker 1: energy was just and my vibes, as the kids say,
Speaker 1: were on a different frequency. And I want to get
Speaker 1: off of the frequency that I'm on to get back to,
Speaker 1: or not even back to. I want to move forward.
Speaker 1: I want to get to a new frequency, if that
Speaker 1: makes sense. And so it's time to get back to that.
Speaker 1: And it's time to get back to focusing on being
Speaker 1: grateful for everything and every piece of the puzzle of
Speaker 1: my life in spite of whatever I got going on,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I got to get back
Speaker 1: to it. And that is where that gratitude challenge comes in.
Speaker 1: It's a wonderful way to kick off a reset in
Speaker 1: excuse me, my gratitude mindset and yours too. Spring is coming,
Speaker 1: the seasons are about to change. Days are going to
Speaker 1: get longer, the sun is going to be out longer.
Speaker 1: So that should help with you know how I have
Speaker 1: been feeling. But what better way to align that with
Speaker 1: the changing of the season. And maybe I'll start doing
Speaker 1: a gratitude challenge every time the seasons changed. Just gonna
Speaker 1: throw that out there. I'll probably forget if I'm not
Speaker 1: being if I'm being transparent, I'll probably forget. But anyway,
Speaker 1: let's just get ready. And so you guys may be thinking,
Speaker 1: what's a gratitude challenge? Me me? Well, what happens is
Speaker 1: for a specific amount of time, we will do a
Speaker 1: daily gratitude ritual together. And that doesn't mean that I'm
Speaker 1: going to record something every day about it, but every week,
Speaker 1: every episode during that span of time, I'll do kind
Speaker 1: of like a check in, and I would implore you
Speaker 1: to engage with me, whether that is via Spotify, Apple Podcasts,
Speaker 1: with a review, social media. I'm on threads, I'm on Instagram,
Speaker 1: I'm on Facebook, just to do a check in and
Speaker 1: see like, how's it going. But we're going to do
Speaker 1: it together, because why I do it alone. I'll do
Speaker 1: check ins weekly. I usually do a check in about
Speaker 1: halfway through, but every episode I'm gonna mention it and
Speaker 1: bring it up and I'll talk about it a little
Speaker 1: bit on social media, and I'm gonna I'm really asking
Speaker 1: some of you guys to share with me when the
Speaker 1: Gratitude Challenge is over, how it has helped you or
Speaker 1: what you have discovered about yourself or about your life
Speaker 1: while doing the challenge. And I'm really excited to start
Speaker 1: it and the way that i will ask you to
Speaker 1: share with me. In past times, at the end of
Speaker 1: the Gratitude Challenge, I had some people that told me
Speaker 1: that they did they were listeners I two of them.
Speaker 1: I had never met one. What is a former coworker
Speaker 1: and fan of the show and friend of the show.
Speaker 1: Shout out to Ussence, and I'm talking about a person
Speaker 1: named Essence, not the magazine and not the skincare stuff
Speaker 1: I was talking about earlier, but anyway, also shout out
Speaker 1: to your baby, shout out to quest But anyway, they
Speaker 1: came on the show and they talked about how the
Speaker 1: Gratitude challenge, how it manifested in their life, what they noticed,
Speaker 1: what they noticed about their environment, what they noticed about
Speaker 1: the people around them, but more importantly, what they noticed
Speaker 1: and discovered about themselves and how it has changed it
Speaker 1: changed them in that moment or during that time. And
Speaker 1: it was really really a beautiful show. If I can remember,
Speaker 1: I will link it in the show notes. But if
Speaker 1: I don't, I want to say it's episode thirty seven
Speaker 1: thirty eight. I could be very wrong, but it's the
Speaker 1: first episode of twenty twenty two. I do know that
Speaker 1: for a fact. So if you can't go back and
Speaker 1: listen to it. And I am really excited to start
Speaker 1: it again because I don't feel right, y'all. Something is off,
Speaker 1: and I know it's off, and I don't know if
Speaker 1: it is a hormonal thing, because I am a woman
Speaker 1: of a certain age and I have a hormonal condition
Speaker 1: in addition to that. But something is off kilter. I
Speaker 1: don't know if it's my grief. I don't know if
Speaker 1: it has to do with the fact that the sun
Speaker 1: is not out enough or that it's cold, and I can't,
Speaker 1: excuse me drive with my windows down and my sun
Speaker 1: roof open and just get the sun on my skin.
Speaker 1: But whatever it is, it's time for me to resent her.
Speaker 1: And so what I do know is that a gratitude
Speaker 1: challenge will immediately shift our energy from focusing on what
Speaker 1: we don't have to what we do have. So I
Speaker 1: am asking you to join me. Who will join me?
Speaker 1: I'm going to do it for forty days. I always
Speaker 1: do it for forty days, and I don't know why
Speaker 1: forty days. Forty is a very spiritual number in the Bible.
Speaker 1: Somewhere something happened for forty days and forty nights. It
Speaker 1: rained for forty days and forty nights with Noah in
Speaker 1: the arc right, And I know in Islam that there
Speaker 1: holy fast and time when they fast Ramadan is for
Speaker 1: forty days. So I do this for forty days because
Speaker 1: excuse me, it is a spiritual practice for me. And
Speaker 1: we're going to start on March twelfth, So that gives
Speaker 1: you some time. Because this episode is going to be
Speaker 1: released on March the fifth. That gives you seven days
Speaker 1: to prepare. I really want to start today, and I
Speaker 1: might actually just start today just to get start flexing
Speaker 1: my muscle. But we will start as a community or
Speaker 1: as a unit. As a community, a unit, and a
Speaker 1: record label. We will start on March to twelfth. Shout
Speaker 1: out to anybody who knows the reference of a crew,
Speaker 1: a crew, what do they say that has a crew something?
Speaker 1: And as a record label, Shout out to gen X.
Speaker 1: I was about to say shout out to the person
Speaker 1: who said that, but I won't since Snoop Dog owns
Speaker 1: it now, Shout out to death Row Records. It was
Speaker 1: Shug Knight who said that about Bad Boy Records in
Speaker 1: the nineties. But what on the source of words? But anyway,
Speaker 1: it sounds like a lot, but realistically it's not. So
Speaker 1: we're gonna start on March twelfth, and we'll go to
Speaker 1: April twenty. First, I believe that that is forty days.
Speaker 1: If it is not charge it to my head and
Speaker 1: not my heart if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure
Speaker 1: that it is forty days, and as a community, we
Speaker 1: are going to do this together my families. Right, I'm
Speaker 1: out here, like Marshaun Lynch, trying to restore my community.
Speaker 1: And I'm going to give you two easy, very descriptive
Speaker 1: ways to implement a simple gratitude practice. The first one
Speaker 1: is a daily two minute gratitude practice. Now this one
Speaker 1: that I'm reading, the essence is the word of the day.
Speaker 1: Every time I say essence, I'm going to play a
Speaker 1: sound Okay, clearly because I said essence. So at the
Speaker 1: root of what I'm about to share with you, that
Speaker 1: is the basis for both of the rituals. But this
Speaker 1: one is just a little bit different. It's just about preference,
Speaker 1: and so this one is really good to do in
Speaker 1: the evening before you go to bed. But you can
Speaker 1: just find a time that works best for you. It
Speaker 1: might be in the middle of the day when you
Speaker 1: take your lunch break. It might be while you're sitting
Speaker 1: in the line at school to pick your kids up
Speaker 1: from school. It could be before you take your yoga class.
Speaker 1: It could be after you take your yoga class. It
Speaker 1: could be when you're taking a dump. Well, it could
Speaker 1: be whenever you like. It's totally up to you. The
Speaker 1: most important thing is that you are consistent, So pick
Speaker 1: a time that you know that you can commit to
Speaker 1: and stick to it. You want to get a small notebook.
Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be a gratitude journal, but it
Speaker 1: can be a small little notepad is fine, and that
Speaker 1: will be your dedicated gratitude notebook. The notebook is key
Speaker 1: because it's essential to actually put your pen to a
Speaker 1: paper in ritualistic practices, especially spiritual practices, instead of typing
Speaker 1: it out. If you don't have access to paper in
Speaker 1: the moment, type it in your notes. But when you
Speaker 1: get home or when you get to your notebook, like
Speaker 1: if it's something that you don't want to forget, make
Speaker 1: a note on your phone for things I'm grateful for.
Speaker 1: You can never write down too much of what you're
Speaker 1: grateful for. Make a note, but when you get home
Speaker 1: you need to write it in your notebook. Okay. The
Speaker 1: key is to put pen to paper when you are
Speaker 1: doing spiritual practices. It is the mind and body connection
Speaker 1: of writing your gratitude by hand. It amplifies the benefits
Speaker 1: of it kind of like how making a home cooked
Speaker 1: meal is always better for you and more healthy and
Speaker 1: more what's the word. It's more nurturing to your body
Speaker 1: and your soul than a meal that you buy at
Speaker 1: the store. Two, keep it close to your bed if
Speaker 1: you're doing it at night, or wherever you go every day,
Speaker 1: wherever you return to every day at the same time.
Speaker 1: Maybe it is by the coffee pot, so you can
Speaker 1: jot down what you're grateful for while you make your
Speaker 1: coffee or your tea. Just put it somewhere where you
Speaker 1: know that you're going to go to that place every
Speaker 1: single day, every night or morning. I feel like the
Speaker 1: notebook is better at night, though, every night or morning.
Speaker 1: Write the date at the top of the page and
Speaker 1: set your intentions. What does that mean. That means that
Speaker 1: you're going to tell yourself for a set amount of time,
Speaker 1: however long you want to. You feel like you want
Speaker 1: to write, Okay, today, I'm going to write for two minutes. Today,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be right for twelve minutes. Today, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: write for twenty five minutes about things that I'm grateful for.
Speaker 1: It's all up to you. I find that in the
Speaker 1: beginning it might take a little bit longer, but as
Speaker 1: you commit and you are used, you get used to.
Speaker 1: It becomes a habit. Even if you're only doing it
Speaker 1: for two minutes, two minutes is enough, like it's fine,
Speaker 1: and you'll find that two minutes is a really long
Speaker 1: time actually, So you do it that way, and then
Speaker 1: in that time, you just write everything you're grateful for.
Speaker 1: Anything that comes to mind for you is what you're
Speaker 1: gonna put down. Don't censor your thoughts. Don't don't like
Speaker 1: scale back, don't say, oh, it's stupid if I say that.
Speaker 1: I'm looking at my plans right now, and you know, like,
Speaker 1: I'm grateful for my plans. I'm grateful that my plants
Speaker 1: are still alive because I started out with fifteen plans
Speaker 1: and now I have four. Okay, I'm grateful for them.
Speaker 1: I almost call them motherfuckers, but that wouldn't be right.
Speaker 1: I'm grateful for these plants, and I want them to
Speaker 1: know I'm grateful for them. I love you, guys, I'm
Speaker 1: so glad you're still here. But I'm grateful for my plans.
Speaker 1: I'm grateful for them. They're beautiful. They bring me joy.
Speaker 1: So it could be something anything from something huge like
Speaker 1: your health, or your parents, or your your coworkers that
Speaker 1: you have a good time with, to something as small
Speaker 1: as your fifty point cup collection, or you know, finding
Speaker 1: a new song like Arsley's Pottery, or the fact that
Speaker 1: you remember to you know, flush your teeth last night,
Speaker 1: like whatever it is that makes you happy or that
Speaker 1: brings you joy. Finding a new incense that you really like.
Speaker 1: I'm oftentimes grateful for that because I love incense, and
Speaker 1: when I find new ones that I really like, it
Speaker 1: brings me joy. Another gratitude ritual is the one that
Speaker 1: I love the most and the one that I typically do,
Speaker 1: and that is by buying a pack of post its
Speaker 1: or a pack of index cards. You find a bowl
Speaker 1: or a vase or something that is large enough to
Speaker 1: hold forty folded post its or index cards, or do
Speaker 1: whatever you like with them if you want to throw
Speaker 1: them on the floor at show business, but get some
Speaker 1: post its or some index cards, or if you need to,
Speaker 1: you can cut up some paper if you want to.
Speaker 1: However it goes. I personally bought a bit standing based
Speaker 1: from home since specifically to hold my gratitude notes. Uh.
Speaker 1: And so what you're gonna do is this one is
Speaker 1: not time based. This one is very different. This one
Speaker 1: is you're gonna write down five things, five to ten
Speaker 1: things every day that you are grateful for, every single day.
Speaker 1: The difference with this ritual is that it's very important
Speaker 1: that you do it in the morning versus doing it
Speaker 1: at night. You don't need to spend a lot of money.
Speaker 1: You could, like I said, cut up some paper if
Speaker 1: you want to. I just prefer ease. And I like
Speaker 1: things that are already done for me. And ain't nobody finish,
Speaker 1: sit up and cut up no damn paper. I'm not
Speaker 1: doing that. I'm not. But just like the other rituals,
Speaker 1: you're gonna do this daily, this one, like I said,
Speaker 1: is just not about a specific amount of time. It's
Speaker 1: about quantity. And the quantity is five to ten rituals
Speaker 1: every morning. And if you want, you can even toggle
Speaker 1: between the two rituals. Last night, I was in Barnes
Speaker 1: and Noble and I saw this cute little gratitude journal
Speaker 1: and it's supposed to last you for three years. And
Speaker 1: so it has three spots on there for you to
Speaker 1: put the date in the year on there. And so
Speaker 1: what I'm gonna do is I'm going to write in
Speaker 1: that every night and just write like one thing that
Speaker 1: I'm grateful for. But in the morning, I plan on
Speaker 1: writing all of my five to ten on my post
Speaker 1: it notes or on my in desk cards. I love
Speaker 1: doing it. I just remember I'm excited. I'm getting excited
Speaker 1: about doing it because it invigorates me in the morning.
Speaker 1: It's a great way to start off your day with
Speaker 1: a mindset of gratitude and being focused on being grateful
Speaker 1: for the things that you have in your life every
Speaker 1: single day, and it will eventually help to shape your
Speaker 1: long term mindset as you go out and face the
Speaker 1: world and face the day. It can really shape and
Speaker 1: change the outcome of your day. And the most important
Speaker 1: thing here, like I said, is to be as specific
Speaker 1: as you can. Instead of saying something like I'm grateful
Speaker 1: for my best friend right that I'm grateful that my
Speaker 1: bestie called me on my way to work and listen
Speaker 1: to me while I told her about my long day
Speaker 1: at work yesterday. Take it up a notch if you
Speaker 1: want to, by focusing on feelings rather than events, like
Speaker 1: the amazing I'm grateful for the amazing feeling of laughing
Speaker 1: with my best friend about my crazy co workers yesterday
Speaker 1: or something like that. Make sure that you write authentically.
Speaker 1: Do not be phony. Being phony is fucking pointless when
Speaker 1: you're being grateful, it's pointless. So some of you who
Speaker 1: have an issue or have a problem with being authentic,
Speaker 1: you won't have to just figure this out because you
Speaker 1: cannot be phony when you are expressing gratitude, because who
Speaker 1: the fuck are you being phony for? Like it's your
Speaker 1: gratitude journal. You're being phony for God? Because that's problematic,
Speaker 1: my gi, that is a problem if you're being phony
Speaker 1: for God, Like that is simple, Like that's simple as shit.
Speaker 1: But anyway, this journal or these posted notes that you
Speaker 1: keep will become like a record of your gratitude. And
Speaker 1: so with each entry you are putting a coin into
Speaker 1: your gratitude bank, and over time you will have a
Speaker 1: lot of money, a lot of gratitude money, baby. And
Speaker 1: so making sure that you have a practice is very centering,
Speaker 1: it's very calming, and it keeps us focused on what
Speaker 1: is most important in our lives, and it helps to
Speaker 1: bring us into a life of ease. So mark your
Speaker 1: calendar's friends and can March the twelfth, twenty twenty four.
Speaker 1: That gives you a week from when this is released now.
Speaker 1: If you don't listen to it the week that it
Speaker 1: is released, that's your problem. I don't have anything to
Speaker 1: do with that. But you missing out, my jie. You're
Speaker 1: missing out on this gratitude goodness that's about to take place. Okay,
Speaker 1: So marsh as well, you got a week to get
Speaker 1: your posted or cut up your paper, or get your notebook,
Speaker 1: your pen, you post it your index cards for me.
Speaker 1: I take pride. I'm in pens. Also, it's a mild obsession.
Speaker 1: I may have one hundred pins, but anyway, buy yourself
Speaker 1: some nice pins, a pretty notebook or a freaking composition notebook.
Speaker 1: I love composition notebooks, by yourself, a nice pen, and
Speaker 1: then get ready to express some gratitude by yourself, some
Speaker 1: pretty paper, some pretty post it, some pretty colors or
Speaker 1: just plain yellow ones, some pretty index card or just
Speaker 1: some white ones. And just make sure that every day
Speaker 1: you are putting a pen to paper to be thankful
Speaker 1: and be grateful for the things that you have. So ready,
Speaker 1: get set, go, We got this. I'm excited. I'm excited
Speaker 1: for you guys to do this for me, not for me,
Speaker 1: because you're damn sure ain't doing it for me? You're
Speaker 1: doing it for yourself. I'm excited for you guys to
Speaker 1: do this with me, and I can't wait to hear
Speaker 1: about it. Like I said, you can share it with
Speaker 1: me on Spotify, Apple podcasts, Instagram, threads, Facebook. But I'm
Speaker 1: really excited to do this and I'm excited that we
Speaker 1: get to do this together. So let's do it, friends
Speaker 1: of can let's get into today's straight facts question. I'm
Speaker 1: just going straight forward. My husband and I have been
Speaker 1: married for six years and we recently bought a house.
Speaker 1: There's a single woman who lives across the street and
Speaker 1: she often needs help with her trash cans. Every Monday night,
Speaker 1: he goes over and helps her pull her trash cans
Speaker 1: down to the end of the driveway. When I ask
Speaker 1: him why he does it, he says he's just being nice.
Speaker 1: I express that I don't like it, but he says
Speaker 1: he's just being a nice neighbor. Should I let it
Speaker 1: go or should I push for him to stop helping her?
Speaker 1: Maybe I should talk to the female neighbor about putting
Speaker 1: her own trash out. And that is from Teresa in Atlanta. Well, well, well, Teresa,
Speaker 1: what kind of insecurity are you harboring, Sis, the man
Speaker 1: is being kind. I'm willing to bet that your husband
Speaker 1: grew up with his dad, or with an uncle, or
Speaker 1: with a grandfather or somebody, some man who taught him
Speaker 1: how to be kind to women and how to help
Speaker 1: a lady out with certain things. Teresa, what is wrong
Speaker 1: with this man helping this lady pull his trash can
Speaker 1: down the street? Like? Is it like mss Parker on Friday?
Speaker 1: Like is she out there in booty shorts, oiled up,
Speaker 1: bending over water in her lawn? Like what is it?
Speaker 1: Because if you're telling me you have a problem with
Speaker 1: him being kind with her, helping her pull her trash down,
Speaker 1: Like that's just a neighborly thing to do. Did you also? Like,
Speaker 1: I'm curious, Theresa, I'm not trying to be funny. I
Speaker 1: swear to God, I'm not. Like and there's nothing wrong
Speaker 1: with this, But where did you grow up? Baby? Like?
Speaker 1: Did you grow up in?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 1: Where'd you grow up? Because in neighborhoods where people own homes,
Speaker 1: it's normal for neighbors to do things like that for
Speaker 1: one another. I used to put my neighbor's trash cans
Speaker 1: back up by their door when I was a kid,
Speaker 1: and nobody had to tell me to do that. I
Speaker 1: was just being kind. It sounds like your husband's just
Speaker 1: being kind. Now, to be fair, you know your husband
Speaker 1: better than I do. Maybe he's a slut, maybe he
Speaker 1: has because this is coming from somewhere like this is
Speaker 1: not a just just a you know, it's weird. I
Speaker 1: don't know why he's doing it, because men do this
Speaker 1: all the time. Women do it too, like people help
Speaker 1: each other. Like have we gotten that far from you know,
Speaker 1: humanity and being kind and being loving to one another
Speaker 1: that people think it's weird that people help people with
Speaker 1: their trash, their neighbors with their trash. Like I said,
Speaker 1: you know your husband. You know if he's a slut.
Speaker 1: You know if your husband's slut. You know if your
Speaker 1: husband is a cheater, you know if he is not right.
Speaker 1: You know that because he Yoman, honey. You know if
Speaker 1: he yo man and somebody else man too. But if
Speaker 1: he's not, and if he's just being kind by helping
Speaker 1: your neighbor, chill the fuck out, Okay, chill out, because
Speaker 1: it just sounds like these are your insecurities that you
Speaker 1: are just throwing at him, and people don't like that.
Speaker 1: Like I hate when people be like. Men don't like
Speaker 1: when women always you know, people don't like when other
Speaker 1: people say, excuse me, when other people say things that
Speaker 1: are ridiculous. And I could hear a woman saying, oh,
Speaker 1: is you fucking her because you're taking a trash out?
Speaker 1: Calm down, calm down, baby, sis. He could very well
Speaker 1: just be being kind. What is it? Is the neighbor
Speaker 1: really pretty? So if she got a big butt, big boobs,
Speaker 1: nice cheekbones, like, what is it? What about her is
Speaker 1: intimidating for you? Because what we really do, what we
Speaker 1: really need to do, Teresa, is examine why this is
Speaker 1: a problem. And if we examine why this is a problem,
Speaker 1: I'm sure it will lead us back to you. You
Speaker 1: need to do some reflecting. What about her intimidates you
Speaker 1: to the point that you don't like that this man
Speaker 1: is helping her with her damn trash cans. Now I
Speaker 1: could be wrong. He could be sleeping with your neighbor.
Speaker 1: I don't know, because I don't know your husband and
Speaker 1: I don't know this neighbor. But what I do know
Speaker 1: is that if you're in a relationship that makes you
Speaker 1: so uncomfortable that watching your spouse or your partner do
Speaker 1: something kind for another woman makes you uncomfortable, Like, baby,
Speaker 1: you got big problems. You need to talk to somebody
Speaker 1: about this, because it ain't h This is a you
Speaker 1: thing that you need to examine. And I'm not saying
Speaker 1: that it's unwarranted because remember, Theresa, I don't know you.
Speaker 1: I don't know you and your husband's situation. Maybe he's
Speaker 1: cheated on you before and that makes you uncomfortable and
Speaker 1: you don't trust him. But also if that's the case,
Speaker 1: come on now, who the hell want to live like that?
Speaker 1: Who wants to live like that? So thereesa please and
Speaker 1: also please don't approach this woman about these trash cans
Speaker 1: because you might get cussed the fuck out, and for what,
Speaker 1: we don't need that. It's not necessary. It's no need
Speaker 1: to take this to that lady. Talk to your husband,
Speaker 1: but just also know that when you're talking to him
Speaker 1: and you tell him that you don't like that he's
Speaker 1: being kind to another human being, that's a red flag.
Speaker 1: And if it is because maybe there's been some infidelity
Speaker 1: or in that and I'm stretching, I don't know, and
Speaker 1: that makes you uncomfortable, that's a red flag too. Because
Speaker 1: you need to resolve that within yourself, whether that looks like,
Speaker 1: excepting the fact that you can't be with somebody that
Speaker 1: stepped out on you because the trust is gone. Sometimes
Speaker 1: you gotta lets shit go. I ain't telling you to
Speaker 1: leave your husband because I don't do that. I don't
Speaker 1: do that in real life, podcast life, no life. Unless
Speaker 1: he's physically abusive or she is physically abusive, then I
Speaker 1: will tell people you should probably look into getting the
Speaker 1: fuck out of there, but you need to do some reflecting. Okay,
Speaker 1: you you you good luck, Teresa. Also, Teresa, if you
Speaker 1: need it, in my show notes, there's a link to
Speaker 1: find yourself a therapist if you don't have one. It
Speaker 1: is not an ad, it is not an affiliate link.
Speaker 1: I ain't getting no kickback. This is a resource for people,
Speaker 1: because people, because this is how I found my therapist
Speaker 1: and she has changed my motherfucking life. Shout out to
Speaker 1: my motherfucking therapist. So, Teresa, why don't you go look
Speaker 1: into show notes and find yourself a therapist so we
Speaker 1: can get to the root of this. Okay, all right, Sis,
Speaker 1: I love you. I want you to feel better. Friends
Speaker 1: in him for today's we got to do better. It
Speaker 1: is a quote from the good Reverend Jesse Jackson, Okay
Speaker 1: of the Rainbow Coalition, and Reverent Jesse Jackson says, actually,
Speaker 1: it's a great quote. He says, no one should negotiate
Speaker 1: their dreams. Dreams must be free to flee and fly high.
Speaker 1: No government, no legislature, has a right to limit your dreams.
Speaker 1: You should never agree to surrender your dreams. Thank you,
Speaker 1: Uncle Reverend Jesse Jackson for that word. I needed it
Speaker 1: today and yesterday, and I'll probably need it tomorrow too.
Speaker 1: Shout out to Reverend Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton friends. Again.
Speaker 1: The first thing I want to do is say thank
Speaker 1: you to God, because God is supreme in my life
Speaker 1: and I recognize and appreciate the grace, the mercy and
Speaker 1: the blessings that and even the lessons that God extends
Speaker 1: to me every single day of my black ass life.
Speaker 1: I want to say thank you to my folk. I
Speaker 1: want to say thank you to each and every one
Speaker 1: of you that have been rocking on me since day one.
Speaker 1: And that is March the first of twenty twenty. And
Speaker 1: you want to know what's funny. Today is March the first,
Speaker 1: twenty twenty four. Happy birthday. Was not really the official birthday,
Speaker 1: but it is the official trailer release date, birthday of
Speaker 1: handing my personal happy trailer release birthday to hand me
Speaker 1: my purse V podcasts. My baby is Finna be four.
Speaker 1: I'm grateful for y'all. Just in the spirit of gratitude.
Speaker 1: I'm grateful for those of you who have been listening
Speaker 1: to listening to me for four years. I really really
Speaker 1: appreciate you guys for being here, and even if you
Speaker 1: just started listening today, I thank you for that as well.
Speaker 1: I'm grateful. I'm just grateful. I'm thankful for my family.
Speaker 1: I'm thankful for my friends, my friends and ken, the
Speaker 1: people who support me, and of course, most importantly again,
Speaker 1: every single one of you guys out there listening. I
Speaker 1: love y'all. There's a special part of my heart where
Speaker 1: my love for you is stored, and I love you
Speaker 1: so much. And it's nothing short of an honor and
Speaker 1: a privilege and a blessing to share my time and
Speaker 1: my energy with you, especially if you keep coming back
Speaker 1: to spend time with me. I look forward to the
Speaker 1: next time that we get to do this one another. Now,
Speaker 1: before you exit out of whatever streaming service you're using,
Speaker 1: to listen to this. Stop what you're doing, and if
Speaker 1: you haven't done so already, look for the subscribe or
Speaker 1: follow button. Click it if it's an option where you're listening,
Speaker 1: and join the family. I also want to say side note,
Speaker 1: I love when you guys start listening or you find
Speaker 1: the show and then you follow me on Instagram or
Speaker 1: tell me about it on Facebook or Instagram or threads
Speaker 1: or Spotify. I love that. I love it. Next, speaking
Speaker 1: of Instagram, I want you to go over to Instagram
Speaker 1: and follow me at hand Me my Purse Underscore podcast.
Speaker 1: Also follow me on Twitter. Actually, don't follow me on
Speaker 1: Twitter because Elon Musk. Speaking of Elon Musk, and on
Speaker 1: Facebook and threads, you can follow me on Threads. You
Speaker 1: will find me if you go to my Instagram profile
Speaker 1: and click on the little swirly thing it looks like
Speaker 1: a at sign. That's how you can find me. On
Speaker 1: threads and on Facebook just search hand Me my Purse pott.
Speaker 1: If you happen to listen on a streaming service or
Speaker 1: medium that allows you to do so, please rate and
Speaker 1: review the show or give it a thumbs up if
Speaker 1: you can. You know what friends that can can? You
Speaker 1: do me a favor. Please, please, in the spirit of
Speaker 1: handing my purse about to officially turn four years old
Speaker 1: on April first, twenty twenty four, can you leave a review?
Speaker 1: Can you do that? Can you go just take two
Speaker 1: minutes on Apple Podcasts or on Spotify and leave a review. Please.
Speaker 1: I'm begging you, and I don't like begging, but please,
Speaker 1: can you do that for me?
Speaker 2: Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.
Speaker 1: Be sure friends again, to share hear me my Purse
Speaker 1: with your friends, your loved ones, and even your enemies.
Speaker 1: Because the best way for people to find out about
Speaker 1: this show is by you guys telling them all about it.
Speaker 1: So tell a friend to tell a friend to what
Speaker 1: tell a friend? Please submit your questions to the for
Speaker 1: the street fact segment by clicking on the link in
Speaker 1: the show notes that simply says submit a question for
Speaker 1: straight Facts, or you can click the link in my
Speaker 1: Instagram profile and look for the button that directs you
Speaker 1: to submit a question, and who knows, your question may
Speaker 1: be featured on an upcoming show. Also, remember that show
Speaker 1: notes are always available in the episode description. Wherever you're
Speaker 1: listening to the show, be sure to take a look
Speaker 1: at the show notes because that is where I put
Speaker 1: all of the links and other information that I mentioned
Speaker 1: during the show that you may want to check out,
Speaker 1: in addition to some stuff that I just want to
Speaker 1: share with you. Also, just so you know, the music
Speaker 1: for Hanmy My Purse the podcast is provided by none
Speaker 1: other than West Baltimore's own Gloomy Tunes. Shout out to
Speaker 1: Gloomy Tunes, Shout out to West Baltimore. Last, but not least,
Speaker 1: I want to give a big old shout out to
Speaker 1: my producers. Together we make up none other than Rando
Speaker 1: Banjo and the Dirty Through And I want to say
Speaker 1: to you that I look forward to you looking forward
Speaker 1: to listening to hand Me My Purse the Podcast each
Speaker 1: and every Tuesday, and I'm out this bitch peace. Hand
Speaker 1: Me My Purse is a production of iHeart Podcasts. For
Speaker 1: more shows from my Heart Podcasts, visit the iHeartRadio app,
Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.