Speaker 1: My league Buns has all the knowledge you want.
Speaker 2: My league has all the knowledge you need.
Speaker 3: League but Chad, they have out the books that the
Speaker 3: whole wild world one up read My League Buds. Welcome, Welcome,
Speaker 3: Welcome to Malik's Bookshelf, bringing a world together with books,
Speaker 3: culture and community. Hi, my name is Malik, your host
Speaker 3: of Malik's Bookshelf. Welcome everybody. This is the one hundred
Speaker 3: and third episode and I'm just so excited every week
Speaker 3: to bring you the next episode or segment now this week.
Speaker 3: As I told you last week, if you hadn't listened
Speaker 3: to last week called I Am Enough, I hasten you
Speaker 3: to go back and listen to last week episode I
Speaker 3: Am Enough, because I was able to interview Grace Buyers
Speaker 3: and I was able to do a moderation with Well,
Speaker 3: let me rewind this say. Because I said I did
Speaker 3: an interview with Grace Buyers, I didn't tell you.
Speaker 1: She's the author of this epic New.
Speaker 3: York bestseller children's book called I Am Enough, and I
Speaker 3: believe I can't. She's an actress and a activist, and
Speaker 3: her book has made an overwhelming impact throughout this country
Speaker 3: because it deals with self esteem, love of self I
Speaker 3: was able to interview her at a book signing that
Speaker 3: we hosted in partnership with b sep Out in Cleveland
Speaker 3: High School in Los Angeles County. It was remote, it
Speaker 3: was on the spot, and so it had a little
Speaker 3: audio difficulty, but you can pretty much hear it and
Speaker 3: get the gust of the beautiful conversation I was able
Speaker 3: to have with Grace buyers. But I also interviewed or
Speaker 3: moderating an event we held at MAIK with Ladarian Williams.
Speaker 1: He's a new author.
Speaker 3: In fact, he made the New York Times bestseller list
Speaker 3: last week, well this week, and he was just so
Speaker 3: elated and we was graciously happy to be able to
Speaker 3: help him.
Speaker 1: We hosted him, we did a pre order campaign.
Speaker 3: The book is called Blood at the Root, and Ladarian
Speaker 3: Williams had busted down some doors, opened some new windows
Speaker 3: with the book Blood at the Root, which depicts a
Speaker 3: young black boy coming of age who doesn't know who
Speaker 3: to trust, how to trust and find his true self
Speaker 3: and learn about his legacy, his roots. I just strongly
Speaker 3: liked the fact that the book was centered around a
Speaker 3: strong coming of age black mail, which it's just not
Speaker 3: a lot of books out written in this manner. Now,
Speaker 3: this is a fantasy, a magical book. The main characters
Speaker 3: Malik got powers and he don't know where he came
Speaker 3: from and how to control them. But it's like the
Speaker 3: black version of Harry Potter. Instead of going to hard world,
Speaker 3: he goes to a HPCU, a historically black college and
Speaker 3: university to find his true self and how to control
Speaker 3: his abilities, his powers.
Speaker 1: It's a fantasy book. It's a wide book.
Speaker 3: We got at Malise and its signs to come through
Speaker 3: or order online Milikbooks dot com. Ladarnwilliams New York Times Bestseller.
Speaker 3: Now that's historic because he's a new author and he
Speaker 3: hit that list with his first book, so that's an achievement.
Speaker 1: Moving on, moving on, moving on.
Speaker 3: We're going to talk about this upcoming episode because I
Speaker 3: was able to host an epic event at Malik Books
Speaker 3: and Seanie Henderson, she used to be married to Shaquille O'Neal,
Speaker 3: wrote a book called Undefeated, Changing the Rules and winning
Speaker 3: on my own terms. We popped out Malik Books standing
Speaker 3: room only, and we had co stars from the Basketball While.
Speaker 3: Because Shanie Henderson is the producer of The Basketball Wives,
Speaker 3: we got of these show. It's a big hit they've
Speaker 3: been on for many years, and her being married to
Speaker 3: she Killed O'Neil, being a Basketball wives and having other
Speaker 3: cast members also married the professional basketball players formed this
Speaker 3: TV series called Basketball Wives, so you know it takes
Speaker 3: you on their reality and their situation as it pertains
Speaker 3: to being married to professional basketball players. But I wasn't
Speaker 3: able to interview her specifically because I had a moderator
Speaker 3: named Jasmine Simpkins, who is a journalist as an entertainment
Speaker 3: news reporter and she also a reporter for kt LA.
Speaker 3: Jasmine Simpkins was the moderator for our book signing and
Speaker 3: b talk with Shannie Henderson.
Speaker 1: But I'm gonna bring you some.
Speaker 3: Of that because it was explosive and Shaney got a
Speaker 3: lot to say. Remember, she's married to a professional basketball
Speaker 3: brother called Shaquille O'Neill, not to mention the fact that
Speaker 3: she is a mother, is a wife, and an entrepreneur
Speaker 3: on top of being a producer who produced a hit
Speaker 3: TV series called Basketball Wise. So that's gonna be featured
Speaker 3: on this episode as well. I also want to talk
Speaker 3: about on this episode what has taken the social media,
Speaker 3: the news by the storm. It's all over the place,
Speaker 3: but I want to chime in on that because I
Speaker 3: think that it's relevant police bookshelf bringing a world together
Speaker 3: with books, culture and community. And one thing for certain,
Speaker 3: you can't bring the community together without respecting and protecting
Speaker 3: the black woman. So I got to chime in on
Speaker 3: Sean Diddys.
Speaker 1: So enjoy this hundred and third.
Speaker 4: Episode Jasmine Silk and she's gonna be the moderator.
Speaker 1: Now, let me tell you a little bit about.
Speaker 2: Her before she come out.
Speaker 1: All right, before, but.
Speaker 5: Before I talk about Jasmine, I need everybody to follow
Speaker 5: Elite Books. I need everybody can post tonight. All right,
Speaker 5: we gotta cry a wave, right.
Speaker 2: Shiney Henderson is in the house.
Speaker 6: How they gonna know?
Speaker 1: Let your poll.
Speaker 2: You know what they used to.
Speaker 7: Say, if a business don't have a business card, it
Speaker 7: ain't no business.
Speaker 8: But if you don't have a social media pain, you
Speaker 8: don't have a business or a movement. So hey, you
Speaker 8: got to follow Elite Books, tag us tag Shiney follow.
Speaker 1: Her as well. Now I told you I'm not man boat. Also,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna post actors. I don't want to leave that out.
Speaker 1: You know, I use to make a difference in our community.
Speaker 7: I've been doing it for thirty years and I love
Speaker 7: what I do because books is the kiff that keeps
Speaker 7: home kiffing.
Speaker 1: All right.
Speaker 4: So now, Jasmin Simpsons, she's a journalist entertainment Noodles. She
Speaker 4: is one of the journalists on and interviewers for a
Speaker 4: show called La Unscripted. She works with k t LA,
Speaker 4: so she's very experienced, she's very knowledgeable.
Speaker 9: She is in the house tonight, and y'all gonna have
Speaker 9: to bring her up with a.
Speaker 2: Round of applause.
Speaker 7: Chasman Simpkins, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 6: One down, the next to come, the main feature. This
Speaker 6: is why all y'all here tonight. We here to lift
Speaker 6: up celebrate our new author. And she's more than an author,
Speaker 6: all right. She's a mother, she's a wife, and she's
Speaker 6: a producer.
Speaker 5: And she here that night and she created a hit
Speaker 5: called Basketball Wives.
Speaker 2: And she's resilient.
Speaker 8: And that's why her book is called uh Defeated. You
Speaker 8: see what I'm saying that some little changing the.
Speaker 9: Rules and win it on my own term. And that's
Speaker 9: the kind of woman we gotta malise Books tonight. A
Speaker 9: strong black woman, a woman that came through in firsity,
Speaker 9: got a story in a journey to share with us,
Speaker 9: and we're gonna bring her out tonight with a roundable plot.
Speaker 9: Because she's deserted. Le's goat, that's pretty up, Sonny Dennison,
Speaker 9: give on a reception, and.
Speaker 5: Because she's desert because she's a star.
Speaker 1: Not today, not today, it's gone for.
Speaker 2: All right.
Speaker 10: In all of my life, I don't know if I've
Speaker 10: ever had anybody but an introduction?
Speaker 2: Shall we give around a Pontimli.
Speaker 10: Whoa if y'all don't buy a book today?
Speaker 2: After all of that, I.
Speaker 10: Tell you, guys, I was in here and I did
Speaker 10: an interview with him on my show for KTLA, and
Speaker 10: I left and I bought three books. I'm not lying
Speaker 10: like I was so inspired as if I had not
Speaker 10: a clue that I was coming in to a bookstore.
Speaker 2: He will make you buy a book and so much more.
Speaker 2: But again, let's give a run of loss to the
Speaker 2: League for allowing us to be here in the beautiful
Speaker 2: Books for one of two locations.
Speaker 10: Actually, he started thirty years ago, by the way, during
Speaker 10: the riots, Rodney King riots, and was so inspired to get.
Speaker 2: People to read, and boy is he doing it.
Speaker 10: And he always has people of color, people that look
Speaker 10: like us here in his store in his bookstore to
Speaker 10: do a book signing. And so today we are going
Speaker 10: to be getting into Undefeated, written by first of all
Speaker 10: my friend who is now an author, but the amazing
Speaker 10: Shawnie Henderson.
Speaker 2: You know, I don't cry, but a little tickle. It
Speaker 2: was almost don't do it. I've cried enough. All right,
Speaker 2: all right, let's get into Undefeated.
Speaker 10: And then we will also allow everyone, as many people
Speaker 10: as we can to ask a few questions. But I
Speaker 10: wanna get into why you wanted to write a book.
Speaker 10: I feel like everyone has a book inside of them,
Speaker 10: no matter who you are, what you've been through, We've
Speaker 10: all got a story to tell. And so I'm curious
Speaker 10: did you always feel that way or was there something
Speaker 10: that happened that you were like, it's time to tell
Speaker 10: my story.
Speaker 2: Cause you know, I've been telling you always need to
Speaker 2: tell your story, Jude's You've been saying that for years.
Speaker 2: It's nothing that happened.
Speaker 11: I think that now this place that I'm in in life,
Speaker 11: I find myself having a conversation about myself a little
Speaker 11: more like. I don't know if it's because I'm more
Speaker 11: active in the community with church and things like that,
Speaker 11: where I'm constantly talking to women, I'm constantly sharing my
Speaker 11: experiences that I was like, you know what, let me
Speaker 11: go ahead and do it. I tried writing a book
Speaker 11: like back in I don't know.
Speaker 2: Two thousand, eighteen nineteen.
Speaker 11: And I just it wasn't my passion. It wasn't I
Speaker 11: wasn't ready to share my story. And even writing this book,
Speaker 11: I think I've m I changed it so many.
Speaker 2: Times just out of fear. I was scared to share
Speaker 2: my story.
Speaker 11: I was scared to just share because people are just people,
Speaker 11: be peopling, you know, and they'll take your experience twisted
Speaker 11: up into what they wanted to be as they are.
Speaker 11: But it's just like getting over that fear of what
Speaker 11: if or what if they think or how.
Speaker 2: They'll you know, see my story in themselves. And I
Speaker 2: don't know. I was scared. But I'm about to be fifty.
Speaker 2: So I'm like, I'm all black. I'm black because you
Speaker 2: don't look even forty. Okay.
Speaker 10: So the title is called undefeated, Yes, what is being
Speaker 10: undefeated to you?
Speaker 6: Like?
Speaker 10: What does that mean? And what do you hope people
Speaker 10: get from that word? Tweeting the book Undefeated? For me,
Speaker 10: it's literally.
Speaker 11: Not taking any experience as a loss.
Speaker 2: Right, So I always think I.
Speaker 11: Haven't always thought, but I'll say now I I really
Speaker 11: do think of an experience. Even if I don't succeed
Speaker 11: at what I'm after, I think me not succeeding I
Speaker 11: still take as a win, cause now I know how
Speaker 11: not to do it right and I can go a
Speaker 11: different route.
Speaker 2: So it's like.
Speaker 11: Something that I've learned out of it. So I'm not
Speaker 11: defeated in that either. Even if it's not the goal
Speaker 11: that I was reaching, I now have a new perspective
Speaker 11: on it, so I'll take that as a win. So
Speaker 11: I just I want people to read it and realize,
Speaker 11: no matter what, you can take an opportunity, and you
Speaker 11: can take a challenge and make it an opportunity.
Speaker 2: It's just a choice. So you know, whether it's me
Speaker 2: being broke, whether.
Speaker 11: It's me you know, back in my parents' house, whether
Speaker 11: it's just mess ups in life, like, you can take
Speaker 11: that challenge or that moment in life and make it.
Speaker 2: Into an opportunity. We're gonna get to that in a minute.
Speaker 10: Uhh, when you were at your parents' house, I remember
Speaker 10: that time talking about that. But I do wanna ask
Speaker 10: you what has this journey from being a basketball wife
Speaker 10: to being divorced, to being broke, to starting the amazing venture.
Speaker 2: That is basketball wives, to.
Speaker 10: Being a first lady now and now an author. What
Speaker 10: has that journey taught you about yourself?
Speaker 11: I think it's taught me that I actually have some
Speaker 11: true resilience, like and and I'm capable of.
Speaker 2: Putting my feelings aside and just learning.
Speaker 11: I want to I want, I cognitantly want to be
Speaker 11: better right and I want to try to be better
Speaker 11: at making better decisions, treating people better, my engagement with
Speaker 11: people Like I.
Speaker 2: I will look sometimes at.
Speaker 11: My husband and I always say this all the time,
Speaker 11: like he has this level of grace that is commendable
Speaker 11: but so hard to achieve because I am I'm like, why.
Speaker 2: We gotta get at her in the third opportunity, you.
Speaker 11: Know, like you gave them two already and I'm over it,
Speaker 11: you know.
Speaker 2: But that's a learning process for me. And I really do.
Speaker 11: Sit back and sometimes just be like, Wow, that's amazing
Speaker 11: because you aren't supposed to show grace.
Speaker 2: You aren't supposed to you know, people make mistakes.
Speaker 11: So I think just this process of continuing to learn
Speaker 11: in every moment and deciding to be grateful for those
Speaker 11: moments will change your perspective on like everything every day,
Speaker 11: Like you let things kind of roll off your back
Speaker 11: because you don't care as much about petty stuff because
Speaker 11: you're like M, you know, like I'm grateful for X,
Speaker 11: Y and Z. I'm not gonna allow you or this
Speaker 11: to disturb my piece. Yeah.
Speaker 10: So the book is fourteen chapters, a little over two
Speaker 10: hundred pages. But you get into a lot. You get
Speaker 10: into a lot of this book. How many people have
Speaker 10: read the book already here? I know you have friend you're.
Speaker 2: So.
Speaker 10: I don't want to give too much away, but you
Speaker 10: get into a lot in the book. But were there
Speaker 10: what was that process or feeling like in terms of
Speaker 10: being this vulnerable in this book and telling your story
Speaker 10: in this way, because I know it was.
Speaker 2: There's a lot.
Speaker 10: You went through a lot and during this time, even
Speaker 10: and you go all the way back, you know, I do, yeah,
Speaker 10: I do, yeah, I I think it was therapeutic to
Speaker 10: go through.
Speaker 2: It was the journey. It's so much that I looked out.
Speaker 2: I mean, even the.
Speaker 11: Conversation we were just having, I was.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna tell that story or verbally one day.
Speaker 11: But even when I was talking to Alicia when I
Speaker 11: got here and she was reminding me of things. She
Speaker 11: was like, oh, you didn't tell the story about this,
Speaker 11: and I was like, oh my god, I forgot about that.
Speaker 11: But they're like big pivotal moments. But again, it was
Speaker 11: the fear of exposing other people that I was like,
Speaker 11: mm okay, I don't need to share all that. I
Speaker 11: really tried to stick to sharing moments that stuck out
Speaker 11: to me that were that kind of changed the trajectory
Speaker 11: of my life, like this happened, and it caused this,
Speaker 11: and this happened and it caused that, as opposed to
Speaker 11: many of the other stories that I probably could have shared.
Speaker 2: That, but I'll share an interviews one day, or.
Speaker 10: You're sharing a movie speaking that movie Undefeated movie, right, anybody?
Speaker 2: Anybody would watched that, right? Yeah? The stories where the
Speaker 2: windings go speak that into existence. You turn this into
Speaker 2: a book and or the next book, right yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 2: I mean.
Speaker 11: Yes, I don't know what that's gonna be. But I
Speaker 11: kind of like this book thing. I feel like I
Speaker 11: can say I can write a lot of things that
Speaker 11: I won't say.
Speaker 2: I don't like talking about myself, Like in.
Speaker 11: Conversation, I really don't. But I can write about myself
Speaker 11: a lot easier, like here, here's what I said, instead
Speaker 11: of sitting here talking about it, and I just show.
Speaker 2: Up, you know, like I show up as my genuine self.
Speaker 11: And I hope that me showing up as that speaks
Speaker 11: for itself instead of me having to talk about it,
Speaker 11: like I want to show you who I am versus.
Speaker 2: Tell you who I am.
Speaker 10: Yeah, the book, if anything, I think it's very empowering
Speaker 10: and inspiring to women. I don't and men don't see
Speaker 10: how anybody could read this and not feel like, gosh,
Speaker 10: if she could do this and climb those mountains in
Speaker 10: those valleys and have the journey that she's had, then
Speaker 10: I know I can do this, right.
Speaker 11: That was the point, Like that's the only reason I
Speaker 11: shared it, because when I would talk to women and
Speaker 11: share like oh girl, this happened to me and you
Speaker 11: know this is what I did, they were like, wow.
Speaker 2: People don't know this about you. So wrote the book.
Speaker 11: And I'm hoping that that's the end result, right, that
Speaker 11: you can read it and realize like, oh yeah, it's
Speaker 11: not much that I can't push through, but it's a decision.
Speaker 2: It literally is a mindset that I wish somebody had
Speaker 2: shared with me. You know, I wish somebody.
Speaker 11: Had told me, girl, you can like change your mindset
Speaker 11: and not have to be depressed and not have to.
Speaker 2: I mean, and don't get me wrong, depression is a
Speaker 2: real thing.
Speaker 11: But at some point you have to have a conversation
Speaker 11: with yourself and you have to, you know, dig deep
Speaker 11: and it might take a minute, it might take therapy.
Speaker 2: Trust me, you've been there too.
Speaker 11: But it's the decision to make the decision to help yourself.
Speaker 2: Speaking of decisions, Okay, So the book starts off. You're
Speaker 2: on your mama couch. Mama and your daddy couch and
Speaker 2: La Dara Heights at their house.
Speaker 10: Kids are laying on you, and you talk about how
Speaker 10: you told your divorce attorney that you didn't want a
Speaker 10: cent to kill.
Speaker 2: You had a Tina Turner moment, I don't want nothing
Speaker 2: but my name moment. I would have gave that back,
Speaker 2: but I have little kids. He's gone now. But where
Speaker 2: did that come from?
Speaker 10: Because I'm sure if I said it or I didn't,
Speaker 10: I was thinking, girl, how are we doing that? I know, right,
Speaker 10: I say that to myself right now, like, but it's admirable, right, yeah,
Speaker 10: I guess where did that spirit of I am prioritizing
Speaker 10: me and I am taking this journey by myself for
Speaker 10: myself with my kids come from.
Speaker 11: I was exhausted, like I just chose my piece. I
Speaker 11: was so so exhausted. And I had gone through the depression.
Speaker 11: I had gone through the crime, said, I gone through
Speaker 11: the anger. I literally went through all levels of everything,
Speaker 11: and I just was so tired that I didn't want
Speaker 11: to fight, you know, to me, I was like, how
Speaker 11: am I gonna win anyway?
Speaker 6: Right?
Speaker 11: Like I'm fighting against him, It's just not gonna be
Speaker 11: a fair fight, So why bother.
Speaker 2: I was just gonna be more stressful.
Speaker 11: It was already such a scary thing to get up
Speaker 11: and leave that I was so fearful of just everything.
Speaker 11: I didn't know what was happening. You know, I'd never
Speaker 11: done anything like this before. I never had experienced a
Speaker 11: divorce with a huge celebric that could say whatever they
Speaker 11: want to say and everybody's.
Speaker 2: Gonna believe them.
Speaker 11: There was already lies going around about me. I didn't
Speaker 11: want to be in a public eye because people were
Speaker 11: thinking I was cheating and stealing money. All these lives
Speaker 11: were being told, So it was like, I was so
Speaker 11: scared and just wanted piece so bad that I was like, here,
Speaker 11: keep it. Can we just get the papers done so
Speaker 11: that I could get this just over with.
Speaker 2: I am not encouraging anybody else to do that. It
Speaker 2: was not smart, but it's it's just what I needed
Speaker 2: at that time. I needed the peace of mind and
Speaker 2: it gave me that. I will say that after all
Speaker 2: the stress and all that, and.
Speaker 11: I had to go through that because I don't think
Speaker 11: I would be sitting here right now if I didn't.
Speaker 2: It wasn't smart, but I chose peace of mind.
Speaker 11: And because of it is where basketball wives and everything
Speaker 11: else trickled because I really like I had thought of
Speaker 11: the idea of basketball lives but sat on it.
Speaker 2: It wasn't a big deal.
Speaker 11: I'm comfortable right, I'm living okay, I'm I don't need it.
Speaker 2: But when I did, you know, it was like, no,
Speaker 2: this has to work.
Speaker 11: Like I don't have any career, any purpose, any money
Speaker 11: until it's divorces over.
Speaker 2: I won't even get child support.
Speaker 11: So I you know, I had to do what I
Speaker 11: had to do, and that's exactly what I did. So
Speaker 11: it was just a blessing that it happened was ugly,
Speaker 11: but it was needed.
Speaker 10: I feel like God rewarded your sacrifice for sure.
Speaker 2: For sure, Yeah, for sure, I say that my journey,
Speaker 2: whatever it was, how it was, was for my reward.
Speaker 11: And I feel like my reward is now Like I
Speaker 11: am literally the happiest I've ever been. I'm the most unbothered,
Speaker 11: you know, and I just feel like I'm sitting in
Speaker 11: my joy right now.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, aman to that. Well, let's talk about Basketball wives.
Speaker 2: Some of the Basketball wives are here with us.
Speaker 10: Hey, ladies, you've not only created a hit show, You've
Speaker 10: created a a l a brand. You know that is
Speaker 10: going to be a part of your legacy, right have
Speaker 10: you thought about that?
Speaker 2: From that day of having this seed of I wanna
Speaker 2: do this show.
Speaker 10: I think I could do this show, to having the
Speaker 10: courage to do the show, right cause, I know, you
Speaker 10: walk in rooms and there were naysayers and people felt like, well.
Speaker 2: Why should we give you an opportunity to do a show?
Speaker 2: What have you done?
Speaker 11: And now you go, well, look at what I've done
Speaker 11: right now, I can do that now, you know what.
Speaker 11: What's crazy though, when I was selling that show, it
Speaker 11: wasn't many reality.
Speaker 2: Shows on air, right the.
Speaker 11: Kardashians Real Housewives hadn't quite started yet, but it was
Speaker 11: one of those things that I just again, it was
Speaker 11: like supposed to happen because they wanted it so bad
Speaker 11: that it was a easy sell for me because it
Speaker 11: was something that they just wanted on TV at the time.
Speaker 2: But it was all timing, to be honest and on
Speaker 2: the first people I called was.
Speaker 11: Evelyn, And if you experienced Evelyn back in those days,
Speaker 11: right when we were in Miami, I just was like,
Speaker 11: you are television, like I would watch you.
Speaker 2: I would watch her.
Speaker 11: I sat in front of her and I would just
Speaker 11: be like this during games because that's how entertaining.
Speaker 2: Y'all know she's entertaining. But that she was like one
Speaker 2: of the first people I called. And what she said yes,
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, okay, I think I have something here.
Speaker 11: And it was all she wrote after that, like it
Speaker 11: I don't know what I didn't know what I was
Speaker 11: getting into, and I don't.
Speaker 2: Think she knew what she was getting into. We had
Speaker 2: no clue what we were doing. I had no clue
Speaker 2: how to sell a show. I didn't have a clue
Speaker 2: how to do reality TV.
Speaker 11: We literally learned in real time and if you go back,
Speaker 11: we looked a hot mess.
Speaker 2: You could tell we did not know what we were doing.
Speaker 2: We didn't know to get our makeup done professionally. We
Speaker 2: didn't know. We didn't know. We didn't know to get
Speaker 2: our clothes right. We were just we were. We thought
Speaker 2: we was cute. But it's hot in Miamis during that time.
Speaker 2: We're Florida too. We were was a little boys all
Speaker 2: the time. Just like damp on the forehead. We're gonna
Speaker 2: have no real makeup jobs.
Speaker 10: I loved that there is a chapter called girlfriends. Yeah,
Speaker 10: we were speaking about Avelyn, but there was a village
Speaker 10: of homegirls, of sister girls, of friends that really helped
Speaker 10: you that you talk about uh in the book.
Speaker 2: Why did you also want to make sure you include
Speaker 2: with them because they are so much a part of
Speaker 2: my journey, you know, like so much.
Speaker 11: I mean I feel like if I didn't have real
Speaker 11: girlfriends in a real trive, I'd be nuts, you know.
Speaker 11: I mean, you need that person, any of those people
Speaker 11: that just you know, protect you can sit in silence
Speaker 11: with you, can you know, give you a little encouragement.
Speaker 11: And I have five kids at the time, you know,
Speaker 11: and all my kids call you on Auntie and everything,
Speaker 11: and I needed that. I needed help and just support.
Speaker 11: And I mean we've had the same solid tribe for
Speaker 11: twenty years now, and it's just it's so needed and
Speaker 11: it's small and I like that, but it's safe.
Speaker 2: And it's like a safety net and and I feel protected.
Speaker 2: I think our our secrets.
Speaker 11: Stay in the in the huddle, our our ups, downs, lows, everything.
Speaker 11: I think y'all are really the only ones that know
Speaker 11: everything that happened, you know, and everything that I went through.
Speaker 2: And we've been there for each other. So it's not I'm.
Speaker 11: Just not saying neat, but I think we we really
Speaker 11: hold each other down and that's super impois.
Speaker 2: I don't feel safe in a lot of spaces.
Speaker 11: Yeah, and I think I've just seen a lot, you know,
Speaker 11: so I don't.
Speaker 2: I I it's always good to have a safe space.
Speaker 2: A couple more questions than I'm gonna bring it to
Speaker 2: the audience and probably can't bring me chapter elesn. I
Speaker 2: don't think it's chapter eleven by accident? What is chapter chapter?
Speaker 2: She don't know? Chapter is cool?
Speaker 3: That my book?
Speaker 10: Like yeah, yes, yes, yes, yes, all right, let's get
Speaker 10: into it.
Speaker 2: That's our number.
Speaker 6: Yes, I know, I know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you have that beautiful chapter.
Speaker 10: By the way, Yes, how would you describe this phase
Speaker 10: of love in your life because you were with someone
Speaker 10: for ten years? I'm married for seven, right, but now
Speaker 10: you have the love of your life and I see
Speaker 10: this love and it's different, right, it is.
Speaker 2: That's what I'm trying to tell y'all.
Speaker 11: Shade room, shade, no shade, no shame. But it is
Speaker 11: different to love and be in love. And you couldn't
Speaker 11: tell me then that I wasn't in love. I thought
Speaker 11: I was. I really did think that that's what being
Speaker 11: in love felt like, because I had never been in love.
Speaker 11: And now fast forward to my relationship and ship and
Speaker 11: my husband.
Speaker 2: Now I really have learned. It's funny, I think I.
Speaker 11: Said to him, like what, I don't know if I
Speaker 11: was at love now because this feeling is not that feeling.
Speaker 11: But I didn't know. So, Yes, I loved him. You know,
Speaker 11: he was my husband, he's my kid's father, he's I
Speaker 11: loved him, and I love the idea of family and
Speaker 11: and you know, I loved all of that.
Speaker 2: But to know what being in love and being loved
Speaker 2: correctly and being loved in a way that.
Speaker 11: My other friend Monique says, I want to be inside.
Speaker 2: Of him, like that's how she loves.
Speaker 11: She's like, I want to feel like I can climb
Speaker 11: inside of his body and live there.
Speaker 2: That's how much I love him, That's how I feel.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna climb inside.
Speaker 11: He knows that I always feel like just we can
Speaker 11: just hold hands all day long day connected to me.
Speaker 11: But I have not felt that way.
Speaker 2: And that's no shade. That's not like a bad thing.
Speaker 11: It's just like I I've got to a point in
Speaker 11: my life where now I'm realizing that love language is real. Right,
Speaker 11: you don't receive love the same way you give it
Speaker 11: all the time.
Speaker 2: That person might not receive love the same way you
Speaker 2: want it.
Speaker 11: And for us to learn that, or me to learn that,
Speaker 11: has changed love for me altogether.
Speaker 2: And knowing what being in love actually feels like.
Speaker 10: Yeah, I feel like you're obviously in a new season,
Speaker 10: but in a new chapter of your life. Right, Yeah,
Speaker 10: what would you call this chapter of Shannie Anderson?
Speaker 2: Grown and sexy? I really do feel real grown, though,
Speaker 2: I do. I know I'm silly in act that I
Speaker 2: feel so grown though, Like I don't know that I
Speaker 2: always felt grown.
Speaker 11: Yeah, I mean I know I'm a mom of five
Speaker 11: and all that, and I do grown things, but to
Speaker 11: feel like I know something, like you know, I feel
Speaker 11: like I could help somebody with what I know and
Speaker 11: what I've experienced and what I've lived that I don't
Speaker 11: always feel like that.
Speaker 2: So that's why I say like, I just feel real
Speaker 2: grown woman.
Speaker 10: But without further ado, a round of applause for Shawnee Henderson.
Speaker 2: I'd just been changing the rules and winning on my arm.
Speaker 2: Get a thankybody, Thank you for doing. Thank you, You
Speaker 2: welcome you walk them, you welcome. Yo. I watched basketball
Speaker 2: wise and it wasn't no fighting up you hit to day.
Speaker 7: Yes, yes, yes, that her entertain me. But I'm glad
Speaker 7: it wasn't no dukeing out.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 7: But y'all not the same as y'all was whinning for.
Speaker 7: Like Shanny said, right, so we all caught. That's one thing.
Speaker 7: If you get old and you're better bro mature, it's
Speaker 7: so hey, no fighting them. But but but but this
Speaker 7: is wonderful. Thank you for coming out to believe. We're
Speaker 7: gonna sign spot.
Speaker 1: But before we get.
Speaker 2: There, we gotta take some pictures real quick in this
Speaker 2: sweet spot.
Speaker 8: Isn't these books wonderful lines up right here.
Speaker 2: Give it up for Shanni Sat, give it a room
Speaker 2: and winning on my own term.
Speaker 12: The streets is talking because we witness not an allegation,
Speaker 12: not amateur TV, not something made up.
Speaker 1: We witnessed Sean Diddy Combs.
Speaker 3: Throwing down, kicking, dragging his ex girlfriend Cassie Now on
Speaker 3: this tape that went worldwide. This video was taped in
Speaker 3: twenty sixteen, so we're talking eight years.
Speaker 1: And my understanding is that.
Speaker 3: Did he paid fifty thousand dollars to get this hotel footage?
Speaker 1: Nevertheless it got leaped out.
Speaker 3: Now I guess I'm assuming that the hotel made a
Speaker 3: copy of it, didn't give him the complete original, paid
Speaker 3: on fifty thousand dollars for a tape that still got
Speaker 3: leaked out. Now I believe did he settled a thirty
Speaker 3: million dollars lawsuit by Casey against him, and he never
Speaker 3: wanted to see this footage ever release. I can only
Speaker 3: sit back and wonder between those eight years, how many
Speaker 3: other women that he beat, that he dragged, that he kicked,
Speaker 3: that he verbally abuse, and that he manipulated. This is
Speaker 3: just outrageous. You can't defend this horrifying behavior. I was
Speaker 3: stunned and shooking up seeing that video footage, and it
Speaker 3: just was offensive, appalling that a man with that kind
Speaker 3: of wealth, that kind of statue, that kind of lifestyle,
Speaker 3: had reduced himself into being a savage, a monster.
Speaker 1: Listen, listen. It ain't nobody perfect.
Speaker 3: Everyone has made some type of mistakes in life, both
Speaker 3: man and woman. There are things that people have done,
Speaker 3: all of us, that we take.
Speaker 1: To our grave.
Speaker 3: I'm sure this is a moment that he wanted to
Speaker 3: take through his grave and.
Speaker 1: Never get out to the public.
Speaker 3: But it's gotten Out's talking about it every news outlet
Speaker 3: or the entertainers, just.
Speaker 1: People in general.
Speaker 3: Everybody got an opinion about this video that was leaked
Speaker 3: out with Diddy is dragging, kicking, throwing down, passing.
Speaker 1: Now, there ain't no defense for this. When you're wrong,
Speaker 1: you're wrong, and.
Speaker 3: It is upsetting to see a black man, a wealthy
Speaker 3: black man, behaving in a monstrous way. I'm not going
Speaker 3: to excuse Diddy.
Speaker 13: I'm not going to defend him, but what I am
Speaker 13: gonna say this behavior got to stop, and it's been
Speaker 13: passed on from one generation to another.
Speaker 3: This is not how we control our woman. This is
Speaker 3: not how we treat our women. This is not how
Speaker 3: we behave in a relationship. I watched the movie Color Purple.
Speaker 3: They came out last year. It was a remake of
Speaker 3: the original Color Purple. It came out forty years ago,
Speaker 3: I believe. Well, anyway, the men in that movie were horrifying.
Speaker 3: They beat that woman, they dragged that woman, even punched
Speaker 3: that woman, and whipped them with whips, a stenchion chord
Speaker 3: or anything that they felt would still fear in order
Speaker 3: to control them. This was most wicked and horrifying behavior
Speaker 3: that was taught to the men by their former slave masters.
Speaker 3: Because this is what took place during slavery, where white
Speaker 3: men would beat, rape, kick, punch black women, and black
Speaker 3: men sit there and watched that, and many black men
Speaker 3: immolated the same behavior.
Speaker 1: On their own wives and children. This got to stop.
Speaker 1: You're responsible for what you know.
Speaker 3: This is called post traumatic slavery syndrome. Now, I got
Speaker 3: a book at Malie Books that talks about this. Just
Speaker 3: like people have go to war and come back home
Speaker 3: in a state of shock, and they call it PTSD,
Speaker 3: which is post traumatic stress disorder. It's a lot of
Speaker 3: trauma in the hood and a lot of people are
Speaker 3: not talking about this because it brings up the past
Speaker 3: history of America that America wants to.
Speaker 1: Escape from but never address.
Speaker 3: Now, Black people suffer in America from post traumatic slavery syndrome,
Speaker 3: and most profession in the psychiatri word the scientific world
Speaker 3: know this, but none of this is often spoke of
Speaker 3: because America doesn't want to address its past sins, and
Speaker 3: so this behavior has been passed on from one generation
Speaker 3: to another, thinking that that's the way you control someone.
Speaker 1: You love, like your wife, like your children, your daughters.
Speaker 3: All of this and a lot of money is spent
Speaker 3: on PTSD post traumatic stress disorder, a lot of money
Speaker 3: when people come out of military witness something to traumatize them,
Speaker 3: and yet practically no money is spent to address the
Speaker 3: post traumatic slavery syndrome.
Speaker 1: And this is real and it needs to be addressed.
Speaker 3: I'm not excusing PDDY and not a cover for his
Speaker 3: defenseless behavior. Wrong, and he needs to be a dealt
Speaker 3: with accordingly. But on a wider note, we got to
Speaker 3: change our relationships black men. We got to change our relationships.
Speaker 3: We can no longer continue to treat our women with
Speaker 3: barbaric savage behavior. We must rise above whatever we have
Speaker 3: experienced in the past and be men today to take
Speaker 3: responsibility of our future.
Speaker 1: Protect and respect the black women.
Speaker 3: Let me say that again, protect and respect the black woman.
Speaker 1: That is absolutely mandatory.
Speaker 3: It is our responsibility not to allow the disrespect of
Speaker 3: our women. It is our responsibility to protect our women,
Speaker 3: and we must treat them like the queen that she is.
Speaker 3: We can no longer tolerate rate this dysfunctional behavior. A
Speaker 3: lot of our women are abused and are taken advantage of,
Speaker 3: both within the Black community and out the Black community.
Speaker 3: You must love yourself. This is why I became a
Speaker 3: book activist. This is why I do what I do
Speaker 3: because books. If you don't know, you can find it
Speaker 3: in the book. But this got to stop. The trauma
Speaker 3: has to stop being passed on from one generation to
Speaker 3: the next. We got a lot of women raising boys
Speaker 3: by themselves, single parents.
Speaker 1: This is an epidemic.
Speaker 3: Now I'm not saying that the men are not involved
Speaker 3: in their children's life, but a lot of women are
Speaker 3: single and they are raising their families by themselves by
Speaker 3: no means do I'm trying to say a lot of
Speaker 3: men are not involved in their children's life. Despite the
Speaker 3: fact that they're not with the mother of their child.
Speaker 3: But what I'm saying is we gotta show a healthy
Speaker 3: re relationship, a loving relationship, and a growing relationship that
Speaker 3: foster success in love and not abuse, hatred and dysfunction.
Speaker 1: We got to stop it, stop it.
Speaker 3: If nothing else we got out of watching this black
Speaker 3: man P Diddy beat Down drag Kick I see is
Speaker 3: that we need to change as a community and as
Speaker 3: a nation. Let that video be the spark that change
Speaker 3: our behavior as a black people, because we got a
Speaker 3: lot of abuse in our communities and we need to stop.
Speaker 3: And that's why I had to speak on that, not
Speaker 3: necessarily speak directly about P Diddy because.
Speaker 1: He wrong and outright wrong. But we as a black community,
Speaker 1: we got a lot of problems.
Speaker 6: We got high.
Speaker 3: Teenage pregnancy, we got obesity, we got dysfunctional relationships, we
Speaker 3: got high single parent ratio, we got low test scores.
Speaker 3: A lot of that is all tied together. But let's
Speaker 3: stop now with the madness. Let's not lay out hands
Speaker 3: on our.
Speaker 1: Women nor our children in this way. Let's show love.
Speaker 1: Let's show love.
Speaker 10: Now.
Speaker 3: You can't do that unless you love yourself, and P
Speaker 3: Diddy surely didn't show no love of self, because if
Speaker 3: he did love self, he the father with.
Speaker 1: Daughters, the man I saw in that video. That man
Speaker 1: don't love himself.
Speaker 3: He can say that all he wants, But when you
Speaker 3: love yourself you see other people as yourself, that's hatred
Speaker 3: of self and you're willing to abuse the mother of civilization.
Speaker 3: So that's not love, that's hate. He can say all
Speaker 3: day and all night, Ali love and I don't love
Speaker 3: himself because he abused himself by beating on one of us.
Speaker 1: That's right.
Speaker 3: Cassie is one of us, and he is an example
Speaker 3: of the behavior that's taking place all across this nation,
Speaker 3: and we gotta stop.
Speaker 1: Our woman need to be protected and respected.
Speaker 3: So that's my thoughts on the p Diddy hard Fine
Speaker 3: video of the assault of Cassie. Thanks for listening to
Speaker 3: Malik's Bookshelf, where topics on the shelf are books, culture,
Speaker 3: and community.
Speaker 1: Be sure to subscribe and leave me a review. Check
Speaker 1: out my instagram at Malak Books. See you next time.