1 00:00:05,120 --> 00:00:06,720 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Anny and Samantha. 2 00:00:06,760 --> 00:00:08,280 Speaker 2: I do want to stuff I never told you production of 3 00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:21,079 Speaker 2: My Heart Radio. And it is Thursday as this comes out, 4 00:00:21,239 --> 00:00:24,800 Speaker 2: so that means it's time for another happy hour. As always, 5 00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:27,000 Speaker 2: if you choose to drink or whatever you choose to do, 6 00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:30,080 Speaker 2: please do so responsibly. Samantha, are you drinking any. 7 00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:33,560 Speaker 1: I'm drinking one of your least favorite drinks, a dr 8 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:34,760 Speaker 1: pepper cherry zero. 9 00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:42,840 Speaker 2: Yeah. No, I just have coffee. Still. It was quite 10 00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:47,839 Speaker 2: cold by now. But anyway, all right, today we've got 11 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:49,840 Speaker 2: a lot going on, so this will be a short one. 12 00:00:50,280 --> 00:00:55,120 Speaker 2: I just wanted to talk very briefly about my experience 13 00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:59,480 Speaker 2: at the emergency room recently. I'm not going to get 14 00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:03,000 Speaker 2: too specific, but if you just don't want to hear 15 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:06,039 Speaker 2: about any of that, I understand. So there's your content warning. 16 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:12,760 Speaker 2: Uh So, the basic, like short version of this is 17 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:18,839 Speaker 2: that I've been having what I'm calling episodes every day 18 00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:21,400 Speaker 2: for like a week, and they were getting worse and worse, 19 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:24,399 Speaker 2: and I had made an appointment to go to the doctor, 20 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:29,840 Speaker 2: and uh, it just reached the point that I couldn't 21 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:35,600 Speaker 2: wait anymore and I had to go in an ambulance. 22 00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:38,160 Speaker 1: And oh, you called an ambulance. I went back and 23 00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:40,039 Speaker 1: forth about asking you that thought maybe you were just 24 00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:40,960 Speaker 1: ubered over there. 25 00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:45,000 Speaker 2: I was going to but the situation was so bad 26 00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:48,840 Speaker 2: I I was like, I'm going to die in this 27 00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:53,400 Speaker 2: person's car. But also on top of that, I couldn't 28 00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:56,440 Speaker 2: It sounded bad like if I had gotten into somebody's car, 29 00:01:57,080 --> 00:01:59,920 Speaker 2: I couldn't breathe. Essentially, if I had gotten into some 30 00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:02,720 Speaker 2: car like that, I think they would have been like, oh, 31 00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:04,040 Speaker 2: no kidding. 32 00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:05,800 Speaker 1: I want to get you from your house. Did they 33 00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:07,280 Speaker 1: come in there with a stretcher? Or you did not 34 00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:09,119 Speaker 1: tell me any of this, and you made it sound 35 00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:11,760 Speaker 1: like you're a doctor's appointment. I want everyone to know this. 36 00:02:12,639 --> 00:02:15,360 Speaker 2: Okay, Well, a part of this is because I was 37 00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:18,160 Speaker 2: really embarrassed. So one of the things I wanted to 38 00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:21,440 Speaker 2: talk about actually does relate to that, because you and 39 00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:26,359 Speaker 2: I both said we we wait. We wait until it's like, oh, 40 00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:34,360 Speaker 2: something is wrong, I must go. And I I was 41 00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:36,320 Speaker 2: going to go to urgent care because, as I've said, 42 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:40,400 Speaker 2: I don't have a primary care physician. They won't accept 43 00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:44,440 Speaker 2: you if you have those symptoms. They tell you to 44 00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:49,239 Speaker 2: go to the emergency room, go somewhere else. Yeah, So 45 00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:51,600 Speaker 2: like I was gonna go to urgent care when I 46 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:56,760 Speaker 2: wasn't experiencing whatever that was, but they wouldn't take me then, 47 00:02:57,560 --> 00:03:00,000 Speaker 2: So then I called another number, which is apparently an 48 00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:01,839 Speaker 2: where you can call where you're like, should I go? 49 00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:04,160 Speaker 2: Should I call nine? With one? And they were like 50 00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:08,800 Speaker 2: yes immediately, Why did you wait this long? 51 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:10,120 Speaker 1: Why are you calling us? 52 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,839 Speaker 2: I know? And by that part, I could barely talk. 53 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:16,880 Speaker 2: I could barely like see, I couldn't like move my finger. 54 00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:20,640 Speaker 2: So it's like even calling was it was. It was bad. 55 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:25,280 Speaker 2: It was very, very bad. But I was embarrassed by 56 00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:27,880 Speaker 2: it because I felt like I was like drawing attention 57 00:03:27,919 --> 00:03:30,919 Speaker 2: to myself. I was like being a baby, and that 58 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:34,560 Speaker 2: feeling was made worse because I do feel like they 59 00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:37,800 Speaker 2: kind of dismissed me. I mostly had a really great 60 00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:42,240 Speaker 2: experience with like everybody. Everybody was really kind and listen 61 00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:45,160 Speaker 2: to me. But because I was in this like whirlpool 62 00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:46,640 Speaker 2: of oh god, this is going to cost me so 63 00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:49,000 Speaker 2: much money, Oh my god, I might die at any minute, 64 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:52,000 Speaker 2: and I'm thinking about the money, Oh my God, like 65 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:54,200 Speaker 2: like oh in the clothes I was wearing because it 66 00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:57,280 Speaker 2: was morning and I hadn't changed on my pajamas yet 67 00:03:57,640 --> 00:04:03,640 Speaker 2: So that was embarrassing and empt with pree hot, which 68 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:06,200 Speaker 2: my mom had a story about when she was in 69 00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:08,360 Speaker 2: a car accident and they had to cut off her 70 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:10,560 Speaker 2: clothes and it was her cush and I kept thinking 71 00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:11,080 Speaker 2: about that. 72 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:13,840 Speaker 1: Well, we had a listener, because I remember that was 73 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:15,640 Speaker 1: my fear. I was like, they're going to cut off 74 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:19,560 Speaker 1: my clothes and the person who our listener was like, yeah, 75 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:23,560 Speaker 1: they do. JUSTI flysy why. 76 00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:29,760 Speaker 2: You asked and answer? Well, but by that point I 77 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:32,560 Speaker 2: could have cared less. I was like, I'm about to 78 00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:35,400 Speaker 2: die right here, so I don't care you're seeing all 79 00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:40,240 Speaker 2: of my body. But I was more embarrassed because it 80 00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:43,160 Speaker 2: felt like I did. I didn't want to call. I 81 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:46,920 Speaker 2: didn't want to do any of this. Quite frankly, I 82 00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:50,480 Speaker 2: know no one wants to, but I was really putting 83 00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:52,800 Speaker 2: it off for a long time. I didn't want to 84 00:04:52,839 --> 00:04:56,400 Speaker 2: do it, and they don't know me, right, so to them, 85 00:04:56,440 --> 00:05:00,880 Speaker 2: maybe I am just like, I don't know, like a 86 00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:05,240 Speaker 2: very a worried person who called at the least at 87 00:05:05,279 --> 00:05:08,240 Speaker 2: the first sign of something might be wrong. But it 88 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:11,760 Speaker 2: wasn't that. And so at one point they asked me 89 00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:15,599 Speaker 2: if I was stressed, and I was like yes, and 90 00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:17,919 Speaker 2: they were like why, and I was like, what world 91 00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:21,120 Speaker 2: do you live in? But again, by at this point, 92 00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:24,240 Speaker 2: I could barely speak and I could barely concentrate, but 93 00:05:24,279 --> 00:05:26,599 Speaker 2: they just basically kind of wrote it off of stress. 94 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:29,719 Speaker 2: After that, They're like, oh, she's stressed, even though I 95 00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:34,640 Speaker 2: had all of these other symptoms and I wrote them 96 00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:38,240 Speaker 2: down because it had been happening so often that it 97 00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:40,880 Speaker 2: was going to show them to the doctor, but I couldn't. 98 00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:43,920 Speaker 2: It just all happened so fast and I was so 99 00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:46,360 Speaker 2: out of it. I didn't show them any of them. 100 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:49,839 Speaker 2: But it just kind of felt like, again, they don't 101 00:05:49,839 --> 00:05:53,880 Speaker 2: know me. I've had panic attacks my whole life, most 102 00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:58,400 Speaker 2: my whole adult life, I'll say, and I know how 103 00:05:58,440 --> 00:06:00,919 Speaker 2: they feel like, and I know that and be really scary. 104 00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:05,479 Speaker 2: But I'm really good at them, actually, Like I'm good 105 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:09,960 Speaker 2: at knowing how to breathe through them. I know how 106 00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:13,600 Speaker 2: to do the things, and I have been doing those 107 00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:16,920 Speaker 2: things and they weren't working. And that's not to say 108 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,480 Speaker 2: it wasn't a panic attack, but it's just I just 109 00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:23,039 Speaker 2: kind of felt annoyed that they were so like, oh, 110 00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:26,039 Speaker 2: she's just having a panic attack, when I was like, oh, 111 00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:29,480 Speaker 2: this is a serious, Like I even looked up the 112 00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:32,320 Speaker 2: ambulance codes later because I remembered them, and I was like, no, 113 00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:34,240 Speaker 2: you guys thought this was pretty bad. 114 00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:35,200 Speaker 1: Oh really? 115 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:40,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, they sure did. I was also speaking kind of nonsense, 116 00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:42,280 Speaker 2: and I'm kind of worried they think I'm on drug. 117 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:44,800 Speaker 2: But they did a bunch of tests. They took a 118 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:47,880 Speaker 2: lot of blood, and they did they ran a lot 119 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:52,159 Speaker 2: of tests, so I feel like that might just be reprojecting. 120 00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:55,520 Speaker 2: But I was kind of like, just randomly I'd be 121 00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:58,880 Speaker 2: I'd say something like, did you know most heart attacks 122 00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:06,479 Speaker 2: happened at eleven? And then I would apologize it's like, 123 00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:08,040 Speaker 2: you know more than about this thing? 124 00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:10,600 Speaker 1: Maybe not? 125 00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:14,960 Speaker 2: Maybe not, maybe not. They were all very nice about it. 126 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:16,080 Speaker 2: I think a lot of this was in my head, 127 00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:18,320 Speaker 2: but I was kind of annoyed by We talked about 128 00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:21,800 Speaker 2: that a lot when we get dismissed when they come in, 129 00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:23,880 Speaker 2: and I just felt like they so quick were like, 130 00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:26,440 Speaker 2: you're too young for this to be anything other than 131 00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:30,760 Speaker 2: a panic attack, and I'm like, no, that kind of 132 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:45,240 Speaker 2: stuff happens, right. But anyway, I then felt worse, like 133 00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:49,080 Speaker 2: I felt like I shouldn't have bothered anybody. I felt 134 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:54,600 Speaker 2: like maybe I was being like over like I'd overdone it, 135 00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:57,000 Speaker 2: even though I'd taken all these steps and not even 136 00:07:57,080 --> 00:08:00,280 Speaker 2: called that number. And then I was like, I can't 137 00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:02,800 Speaker 2: ask anybody about it. But I did finally ask the 138 00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:04,200 Speaker 2: nurse and I was like, should I have come in? 139 00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:06,160 Speaker 2: And she did say yes, But what else is she 140 00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:09,720 Speaker 2: going to say? But anyway, that all has to do 141 00:08:09,840 --> 00:08:13,520 Speaker 2: with the kind of insecurity around should I have bothered anybody? 142 00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:16,200 Speaker 2: Should I have called? Should I have sought help? Should 143 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:20,240 Speaker 2: I have cared enough about myself to seek help. It 144 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:23,040 Speaker 2: also was a teaching hospital, which I love, but it 145 00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:26,280 Speaker 2: was kind of weird to be like they're like, look 146 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:31,880 Speaker 2: at this vein, come over here, no please? But everyone 147 00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:33,720 Speaker 2: was super nice. I loved it was fine. It was 148 00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:37,440 Speaker 2: really fine. They were mostly women, I will say mostly 149 00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:42,320 Speaker 2: it was mostly black women, so that was interesting, and 150 00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:44,240 Speaker 2: I did go through fifteen people. It's sort of a 151 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:47,920 Speaker 2: hospital where they like they moved to you, like you're 152 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:49,600 Speaker 2: in one room and they bring their desk and their 153 00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:54,319 Speaker 2: equipment into you. So that was interesting. And then another 154 00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:57,240 Speaker 2: thing that came up that I think we'll have to 155 00:08:57,240 --> 00:09:01,240 Speaker 2: come back and revisit is being a sexual and that 156 00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:04,960 Speaker 2: was just kind of strange. To be like, why is this. 157 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:08,600 Speaker 2: I really feel like there are other things we don't 158 00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:11,520 Speaker 2: need to worry about the sexual health right now. But 159 00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:16,040 Speaker 2: that's that's for a future day. I know a lot 160 00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:19,760 Speaker 2: of those questions are standard. Yeah, and I know a 161 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:22,320 Speaker 2: lot of it is. I get why they asked, but 162 00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:24,600 Speaker 2: I have to say I was a little like, no, 163 00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:26,280 Speaker 2: I'm a little annoyed by this. 164 00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:27,240 Speaker 1: This is not what I need. 165 00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:32,079 Speaker 2: No, No, I'm actually really I was talking about my heart. 166 00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:34,840 Speaker 2: My heart just going wild. 167 00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:37,600 Speaker 1: I do not touch penis, leave me alone. 168 00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:46,040 Speaker 2: Yes, exactly exactly, but yeah, I'm seeking out fallow up care. 169 00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:49,160 Speaker 2: It went. I mean, no news is good news. As 170 00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:51,240 Speaker 2: the doctor told me when I came in, She's like, 171 00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:54,200 Speaker 2: I hope you never see me again. Like okay, but 172 00:09:56,480 --> 00:10:00,040 Speaker 2: so it went. It went fine, and I'm still I 173 00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:02,720 Speaker 2: ended struggling with the fought out of the emotions I 174 00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:07,400 Speaker 2: have from it. But yeah, that's all. I just wanted 175 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:10,120 Speaker 2: to touch on some of the things that some of 176 00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:12,439 Speaker 2: the thoughts I had after this experience. 177 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,040 Speaker 1: I'm glad you're okay, and now I'll be texting you 178 00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:17,240 Speaker 1: every day to check in on you. You're welcome. 179 00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:21,000 Speaker 2: Used to call that the old lady text we had 180 00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:21,880 Speaker 2: a name for it. 181 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:25,080 Speaker 1: I don't remember saying makeing sure you're alive text. 182 00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:28,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, well that was one of the things. They kind 183 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:30,760 Speaker 2: of were like, why did you do this? Because I 184 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:33,080 Speaker 2: came downstairs and they're like, you shouldn't have done that, 185 00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:35,000 Speaker 2: And I was like, I was worried I die alone 186 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:36,840 Speaker 2: in my apartment, so I wanted to come out here 187 00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:39,000 Speaker 2: and die on the street so at least someone find me. 188 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:43,560 Speaker 2: I'm really it was really bad and I'm laughing at it, 189 00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:50,640 Speaker 2: but I promise you it was bad. But but the 190 00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:53,480 Speaker 2: test came back and that was nice. It came back 191 00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:56,000 Speaker 2: looking in my favor, and I'm going to fall up 192 00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:57,160 Speaker 2: and see what it might have been. 193 00:10:57,400 --> 00:10:58,959 Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like you need to reschedule for a 194 00:10:59,000 --> 00:10:59,600 Speaker 1: closer date. 195 00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:00,360 Speaker 2: Doctor. 196 00:11:00,440 --> 00:11:01,839 Speaker 1: I was gonna tell you that. Now I got to 197 00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:03,040 Speaker 1: on Mike, I'll tell you that. 198 00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:09,240 Speaker 2: Okay. Yeah, that's a whole other episode is the difficulty 199 00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:11,240 Speaker 2: of finding a doctor, because they did really point me 200 00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:14,079 Speaker 2: in any direction. They they gave me a lot of resources, 201 00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:21,360 Speaker 2: but I'm like, kind just a general doctor. What yes, 202 00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:26,640 Speaker 2: but uh, I'll report back in the meantime. Listeners, we 203 00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:31,080 Speaker 2: hope all is well with you. We love you. If 204 00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:33,000 Speaker 2: you would like to email as you can our emails 205 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:34,599 Speaker 2: Hello at stuff I Never Told You dot Com. You 206 00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:36,480 Speaker 2: can guy us on Blue Sky I'm most a podcast, 207 00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:38,840 Speaker 2: or on Instagram and TikTok at stuff I Never Told 208 00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:40,520 Speaker 2: You or ls on YouTube. We have a tea tug 209 00:11:40,520 --> 00:11:41,839 Speaker 2: Story and we have a book you can get where 210 00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:44,280 Speaker 2: we get your books. Thanks as always too our serper 211 00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:46,839 Speaker 2: producer Christina or executive producer My and a contributor Joey. 212 00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:49,720 Speaker 2: Thank you and thanks to you for listening. Stuff I 213 00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:51,280 Speaker 2: Never Told You is protection of my Heart Radio. More 214 00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:52,839 Speaker 2: podcast from my Heart Radio. You can check out the 215 00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:54,920 Speaker 2: art radio app Apple Podcasts wherever you listen to your 216 00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:55,920 Speaker 2: favorite shows.