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Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need

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Speaker 1: advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. Please

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Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and

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Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter

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Speaker 1: live on the air, just like I'm going to read

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Speaker 1: this one right here, right now. You never know it

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Speaker 1: could be yours. Buckle up, hold on tight. We got

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Speaker 1: it for all you. Here it is Strawberry Letter. Thank

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Speaker 1: you enough you subject. My boyfriend hates the word no,

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Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm a flight attendant and my schedule

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Speaker 1: is very demanding because I do international flights. I'm in

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Speaker 1: town a few days, and I'm gone for a few days.

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Speaker 1: My boyfriend hates that his goodies aren't there for him daily.

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Speaker 1: He calls it goodies, and you call it cookie. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: I need him to realize that there's more to life

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Speaker 1: than his goodies. He hates the word no, so when

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Speaker 1: I am not in the mood, he pouts. He causes

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Speaker 1: a lot, a whole shift in our relationship. He uses

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Speaker 1: it as an excuse to second guess my commitment to him,

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Speaker 1: so I may never get an engagement ring. We're both

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Speaker 1: twenty nine, and we've been together for a little over

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Speaker 1: four years and just moved in together. I know I

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Speaker 1: can do better, but I'm trying to hold on because

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Speaker 1: I love this man from his head to his toes,

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Speaker 1: and I can't see myself growing old with anyone else.

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Speaker 1: I'm very religious as well, and he's not. He'll go

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Speaker 1: to church with me, and he's even gone to Bible

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Speaker 1: study when I when I'm in town. Excuse me, but

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Speaker 1: I shouldn't have to force him to go a lot

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Speaker 1: of small things I ask him to do, he gives

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Speaker 1: me pushback on them. I've taught him all about etiquette

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Speaker 1: and now he's able to pick out nice restaurants for us.

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Speaker 1: And when I tell you that we're compatible everywhere except

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Speaker 1: the bedroom, I'm so serious. That brings me to why

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Speaker 1: I really tell him no when he wants goodies, his

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Speaker 1: goodie goodie isn't all of that. And I have to

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Speaker 1: be in the mood to put on a show for him,

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Speaker 1: if you know what I mean. I make up excuses

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Speaker 1: a lot, and he's onto me. I consider an oral

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Speaker 1: hook up just as valuable as giving the goodies up,

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Speaker 1: but he doesn't think so. He wants everything and he

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Speaker 1: wants it often he really hates when I tell him no.

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Speaker 1: So how can I enhance the experience for myself so

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Speaker 1: I can say yes more? Can bad sex get better

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Speaker 1: over time? Well? It could be a teachable moment sometimes.

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Speaker 1: But listen, you got to tell him what the problem is.

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Speaker 1: You have to tell him that or you're gonna be

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Speaker 1: miserable for the rest of your life if you stay

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Speaker 1: with this guy. But I say, before you do all that,

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Speaker 1: you really need to decide if this is what you

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Speaker 1: what you want. I know you've said you love him

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Speaker 1: from his head to his toes and all of that.

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Speaker 1: You've been with him for over four years. You haven't

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Speaker 1: got marriage a proposal, and now you guys are living together.

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Speaker 1: You have to force him to go to church with you.

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Speaker 1: You get pushedback when you ask him to do little

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Speaker 1: things for you, and he pouts when he can't get

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Speaker 1: what he wants. That's not compatibility, as you say, that's selfishness. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I've read this entire letter and I'm still trying to

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Speaker 1: figure out what you are getting out of this. Because

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Speaker 1: he picks nice restaurants. Come on, now, all I see

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Speaker 1: is bad sex and bad attitude. If you don't give

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Speaker 1: him his way and what you do isn't good enough

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Speaker 1: for him. You also said that you know you can

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Speaker 1: do better. You said that in this letter. Well guess

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Speaker 1: what I think you can too. So you know what

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Speaker 1: they say, if you know better, do better. So I

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Speaker 1: think you need to do better. Don't be stuck on

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Speaker 1: stupid with this guy. It's time for you to start

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Speaker 1: getting what you want. You're twenty nine. You have plenty

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Speaker 1: of time, you know, plenty of time to get a

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Speaker 1: good relationship. You don't have to be stuck here, Steve Wow.

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Speaker 1: My boyfriend hates the word no is the subject, but

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Speaker 1: he won't give you a reason to say yes. Let

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Speaker 1: the church say man a man again again, we will

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Speaker 1: approach this letter. My boyfriend hates the word no in parentheses,

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Speaker 1: but he won't give you a reason to say yes.

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Speaker 1: Lord Lord, Lord, here we are and you are international

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Speaker 1: flight attendant. That's gonna come back into play. International flight attendant,

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Speaker 1: m That means you have an interesting life. You're international.

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Speaker 1: He local. You were in and out of time. You

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Speaker 1: are international flight attendant. International. He local? Yeah, you in

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Speaker 1: and out of town. He right there all the time.

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Speaker 1: Often you see what's happening here. My boyfriend hates that

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Speaker 1: his goodies aren't there for him daily. He calls it

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Speaker 1: goodies and you call it to cookie anyway, I need

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Speaker 1: him to realize that there's more to life than his cookies. Well,

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Speaker 1: that's gonna be a hard sale, see, because you got

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Speaker 1: a problem. He hates the word no, and I'm and

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Speaker 1: when I'm not in the mood, he pouts. Now, this

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Speaker 1: pouding is gonna be a problem. I'm telling you that

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Speaker 1: right now. Just sticking your lips out in pouding because

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Speaker 1: you can't get your way, that's a serious sign. And

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Speaker 1: you say it causes a whole shift in our relationship.

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Speaker 1: And I got news for you, and it always wills.

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Speaker 1: He uses it as an excuse to second guess my

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Speaker 1: commitment to him, so I may never get an engagement ring. No,

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Speaker 1: that's called guilt. He is using the most useless emotion

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Speaker 1: to get what he wants. He's making you feel guilty

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Speaker 1: because he's trying to manipulate you into what you want.

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Speaker 1: And somebody told me one time that guilt is the

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Speaker 1: most useless emotion that only serves the purpose of a

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Speaker 1: person trying to apply it. It does you no good.

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Speaker 1: To feel guilty. You don't feel good about it. It

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Speaker 1: doesn't motivate you nothing. It's just guilt, and he's laying

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Speaker 1: it on you in heaps and doses because he wants

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Speaker 1: what he wants. Now, he got you thanking. You ain't

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Speaker 1: gonna get no engagement ring. I got news for you. You

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Speaker 1: You might not need you. Oh, A truth will come

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Speaker 1: out when we come back. All right, Hold on, Steve,

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Speaker 1: we'll have part two of your response coming up at

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Speaker 1: twenty three minutes after my boyfriend hates the word no.

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Speaker 1: It is a strawberry letter subject for today. We'll get

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Speaker 1: back into it right after this. You're listening Steve Harvey

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Speaker 1: Morning Show. All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's

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Speaker 1: strawberry letter. The subject my boyfriend hate the word no. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: your boyfriend hate the word no, but he ain't giving

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Speaker 1: you a reason to say yes. That's the whole thing

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Speaker 1: of this letter. You're a flight attendant. That means you're

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Speaker 1: in the national You do international flights, he local, you

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Speaker 1: go on a lot. He always there. Your boyfriend hates

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Speaker 1: that you're not there with the cookie all the time.

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Speaker 1: So now when you do come home, he wants it.

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Speaker 1: Now you're trying to convince him that cookies and sex

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Speaker 1: is not the most important things in life, that there's

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Speaker 1: more to it. But it's gonna be a hard saying

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Speaker 1: because that's what he won't and when he don't get it,

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Speaker 1: he pouts and it causes a shift in your relationship

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Speaker 1: and it always will. Now here is the key to

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Speaker 1: this letter. He used it as an excuse to second

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Speaker 1: guess my commitment to him, So I may never get

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Speaker 1: an engagement ring. So and the reason I'm saying so

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Speaker 1: is because of the information afterwards. But he's applying guilt

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Speaker 1: to you to make you feel guilty so he can

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Speaker 1: manipulate you into getting what he wants. Now, y'all both

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Speaker 1: twenty nine. You've been together for a little over four years,

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Speaker 1: and you just moved in together. All this is critical information.

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Speaker 1: You just moved in together. I know I can do better,

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Speaker 1: Lord Jesus, Lord Jesus, I know I can do better.

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Speaker 1: See that's cause you internationale you meeting me, and all

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Speaker 1: over the world people on your flight hitting on you,

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Speaker 1: talking to you. Pilots want to get at you. You

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Speaker 1: know you're out of town. Everybody out the country want

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Speaker 1: to get at you. You land locally, at Horsfield, they

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Speaker 1: want to get at you. You land at LaGuardia, they

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Speaker 1: want to at you. You get a Florida airport, they

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Speaker 1: want to haul at you. Don't saying you're in the

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Speaker 1: lax day up on you and you dealing with the

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Speaker 1: cooked monster back of the house, just sitting there, just

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Speaker 1: won't wonna cook. Cook, don't go on't in. But I'm

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Speaker 1: trying to hold on because I love this man from

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Speaker 1: his head to his toes, and I can't see myself

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Speaker 1: growing old with anyone else. I'm confused. I'm really confused

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Speaker 1: because you can do better, but you love him just

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Speaker 1: head tone. You can't see yourself growing old with anybody else.

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Speaker 1: But then right after this, you say, I'm very religious

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Speaker 1: as well, and he's not. So let's talk about how

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Speaker 1: religious you are. He'll go to church with me, and

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Speaker 1: he's even going to Bible study who I'm in town.

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Speaker 1: But I shouldn't have to force him to go. Well,

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Speaker 1: you do if he's not religious, that's what you have

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Speaker 1: to do. And then a lot of small things I

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Speaker 1: ask him to do, he gives me pushback on him.

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Speaker 1: And this is the man you can't live without. You

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Speaker 1: can't see in the rest of your life. He don't

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Speaker 1: go to church. Little stuff he gave you pushback, and

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Speaker 1: now you're ready for this. I've taught him all the

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Speaker 1: etiquette and how he's able to pick out nice restaurants us.

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Speaker 1: When I tell him that we're compatible everywhere except the

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Speaker 1: bed room. When I tell you that we're compatible everywhere

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Speaker 1: except the bed room, I'm so serious. See you then

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Speaker 1: told us y'all compatible everywhere but the bed room. But

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Speaker 1: you ain't bought it up to him because you don't

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Speaker 1: want to hurt him. He brings that brings me to

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Speaker 1: why I really tell him no when he wants my goodies,

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Speaker 1: his goodie ain't that good at all. And I have

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Speaker 1: to be in the mood to put on the show

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Speaker 1: for him, if you know what I mean. Now, listen

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Speaker 1: to this. I make up excuses a lot, and he's

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Speaker 1: on to me. I consider an oral hook up just

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Speaker 1: as valuable as giving the goodies up. But he does

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Speaker 1: not think so. Okay, So let's get to this together.

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Speaker 1: You're very religious. You moved in with the man without

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Speaker 1: being married. Y'all been living together. You fake orgasms. You

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Speaker 1: want to do half sexual act and consider it the

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Speaker 1: whole sexual act. Okay, so let me get this right, y'all.

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Speaker 1: You real religious, but you live together, you fake orgasms.

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Speaker 1: You want to do half acts and consider them whole acts.

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Speaker 1: But he don't like that, and now he can't produce

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Speaker 1: no results in the bed room. His goodies ain't good

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Speaker 1: at all. So that's what And now you real religious,

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Speaker 1: thank you for making not that. I want to go

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Speaker 1: to your church. And so anyway, he wants everything, and

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Speaker 1: he wants it often, but he ain't giving you nothing,

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Speaker 1: and he wants you to take nothing all the time.

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Speaker 1: But you said you can do better. What is it

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Speaker 1: you love about him? Till his head to his toe?

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Speaker 1: You just ain't got used to him. And he can't

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Speaker 1: even do nothing. His goodies ain't even good. So now

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Speaker 1: your boyfriend hate to say no, but he don't want

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Speaker 1: to give you a reason to say yes. So how

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Speaker 1: could I enhance the experience for myself so I can

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Speaker 1: say yes more? Can bad sex get better over time?

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Speaker 1: How can you enhance the experience for yourself? It's gonna

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Speaker 1: have to be with somebody else, and then here go

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Speaker 1: to bad news. Can bad sex get better over time?

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Speaker 1: I ain't never seen it. I ain't never seen it

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Speaker 1: it's bad sex. It's stay bad sex. You just have

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Speaker 1: to reduce and lower your expectation. And how much fun

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Speaker 1: is that gonna be? Giver? Had something you go? Damn,

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Speaker 1: I could have had a V eight. I would have

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Speaker 1: rather had a pop sill who low? And you just

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Speaker 1: wasteed fineness. Yeah, you just cute and ain't got nothing

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Speaker 1: to go with it? All right? Good lord? Post your

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Speaker 1: comments on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM on

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Speaker 1: Instagram and Facebook. Check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on

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Speaker 1: demand now coming up at forty six minutes after the

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Speaker 1: hours Sports Talk with Junior. Right after this, you're listening

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Speaker 1: to The Day Harvey Morning Show