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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to stevearvfm dot com and

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Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter

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Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're going to read

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Speaker 1: this one right here, right now, and you never know,

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Speaker 1: it could be yours.

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Speaker 2: It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.

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Speaker 2: We got it for you. Here it is Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: Thank you nephew. Subject I'm too out of shape for him.

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Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm a forty eight year old divorced

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Speaker 1: female and I'm trying online dating. My niece helped me

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Speaker 1: do my dating profile and we used a real photo

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Speaker 1: of me, but she suggested that I lie about my

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Speaker 1: interests so I would attract a man with a nice body.

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Speaker 1: So I said that I love working out, running and traveling.

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Speaker 1: The app matched me with a tall, muscular, older man.

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Speaker 1: He isn't cute, but we've been dating for six weeks

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Speaker 1: getting to really know each other, and I like him

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Speaker 1: a lot. He runs marathons and he asked me to

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Speaker 1: do a charity run with him in April. I said yes,

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Speaker 1: but I didn't know how because I didn't know how

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Speaker 1: to say no. We started working out together and it

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Speaker 1: was obvious that I didn't know what to do in

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Speaker 1: the gym. I told him that I do yoga now

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Speaker 1: instead of going to the gym another lie. We worked

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Speaker 1: out so hard that my head hurt. Then we went

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Speaker 1: to my house and he told me that we were

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Speaker 1: getting in the shower together. He looked at me in

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Speaker 1: the eye and said he wanted me, and he'd been

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Speaker 1: waiting for this moment. My head was hurting, and I

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Speaker 1: was so nervous because I look a lot better in

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Speaker 1: my clothes than I do naked. The shower was uncomfortable,

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Speaker 1: and it felt like he realized I didn't work out

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Speaker 1: by the way he looked at my body. After the shower,

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Speaker 1: you already know, we went straight to my bed. It

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Speaker 1: was our first time together, and I had such a

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Speaker 1: hard time keeping up with him. My leg was not

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Speaker 1: supposed to bend the way he bent it, and it's

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Speaker 1: still hurting even surely, I have lied and ended up

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Speaker 1: with a man that is too good to be true.

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Speaker 1: I'm too out of shape for him. I can't have

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Speaker 1: sex with him again. I'm too afraid. How do I

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Speaker 1: fix my livees? But keep this man, what are you

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Speaker 1: so afraid of? I mean, working out will make you

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Speaker 1: more flexible, But wait a minute before you do anything

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Speaker 1: anything else. You have to learn how to say no

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Speaker 1: if you're uncomfortable, if you don't want to do something,

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Speaker 1: you can say no. You can say I'm not ready,

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Speaker 1: you can say I need more time. All of that

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Speaker 1: is okay. The second thing you need to do is

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Speaker 1: get your confidence up. Okay, that's what's sexy to a man.

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Speaker 1: Men are visual. You're obviously not as bad as you

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Speaker 1: think because he's seen you naked in the shower and

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Speaker 1: in the bedroom and he wasn't complaining. You just weren't

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Speaker 1: comfortable with how you looked. I think women in general

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Speaker 1: are much too hard on ourselves, and you have to

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Speaker 1: start feeling good about you. And you have to start

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Speaker 1: doing that now. You can't expect anyone else to if

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Speaker 1: you don't. Men pick up on those signals. You can

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Speaker 1: still work out, you can still do things with him,

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Speaker 1: You just have to go at your own pace. You

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Speaker 1: can't try to keep up with him if it's too much.

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Speaker 1: You're doing this for you, remember, not him. The third

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Speaker 1: thing I have to say to you is that people

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Speaker 1: do this all the time. Everyone lies or stretches the

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Speaker 1: truth on these dating sites, so some even go as

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Speaker 1: far as catfishing. I'm sure you've seen the show catfishing.

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Speaker 1: You haven't done any of that, and he's still there,

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Speaker 1: So again, don't be so hard on yourself. Anyway, didn't

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Speaker 1: you say he wasn't cute. You said he wasn't cute,

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Speaker 1: So he's probably glad to have a woman like you.

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Speaker 1: Be confident, Steve.

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Speaker 2: Once again, we'd have read two different letters. Yeah, here

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Speaker 2: I go.

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Speaker 3: I just want to say before I do this letter,

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Speaker 3: forgive me for those of you that might be slightly

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Speaker 3: put off.

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Speaker 2: Or what shall they say, put a.

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Speaker 3: Back by what I may say in my response. But

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Speaker 3: in the words of Lord John, here I go. So

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Speaker 3: here we go. Dear Stephen Shell. I'm a forty eight

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Speaker 3: year old divorce female and I'm trying online dating.

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Speaker 2: Very good.

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Speaker 3: Sixty five percent of most marriages today come from online dating.

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Speaker 2: That's a new stat that's out.

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Speaker 3: My niece helped me do my dating profile. We use

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Speaker 3: a real photo of.

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Speaker 2: Me, Thank you, thank you.

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Speaker 3: But she suggested I lie by my interest, so I

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Speaker 3: would attract a man with a nice body.

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Speaker 2: Now let's start writing here.

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Speaker 3: If you're gonna attract a man with a nice body,

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Speaker 3: the man with the nice body probably didn't got his

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Speaker 3: body like that because he won't to attract a woman.

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Speaker 3: And with a nice body, let's just go there. A

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Speaker 3: man is in the gym to be fit because he

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Speaker 3: liked to be fit. He probably gonna look for somebody fit.

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Speaker 3: That's why your niece told you to lie and tell

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Speaker 3: them your interest is that so you can find a

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Speaker 3: nice fit man. Well, you got to be fit too,

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Speaker 3: that's the key. You looking for fit, he looking for fit.

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Speaker 3: But now so I said that I love working out,

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Speaker 3: running and traveling. God, dog, did you write running in there?

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Speaker 3: Who liked running? Not too many people so already now see.

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Speaker 3: And then Shirley said what she Shelly just be lying

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Speaker 3: to y'all. Shirley said, you should always tell the truth.

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Speaker 3: Then she said, everybody lie. Well, but see now, if

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Speaker 3: you go lie, you're gonna have to work on your lion,

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Speaker 3: because y'all up in here telling lies.

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Speaker 2: You can't got no bet.

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Speaker 3: I love working out and running, big ass, hain't run no, well,

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Speaker 3: I ain't even been to the jail.

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Speaker 2: She said, let me, I shouldn't just tell you something.

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Speaker 2: I'm not saying. This is the case with this lady.

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Speaker 3: But if you chubby, if you're chubby, you you probably

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Speaker 3: don't run, and you shouldn't because it's bad on your joints.

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Speaker 2: You're gonna miss your whole Here run, junior.

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Speaker 1: Hang on, we'll have part two response Steve coming shot

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Speaker 1: out of shape, I stop coming up. Twenty three minutes

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Speaker 1: after the hour, we'll get back into the letter. It's

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Speaker 1: called I'm too out of shape for him. We'll hear

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Speaker 1: part two of Steve's response right after that. Boy, you're

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Speaker 1: listening hard Morning show. All right, Come on, Steve, let's

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Speaker 1: recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject I'm too out.

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Speaker 3: Of well, you said it in your letter, so now

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Speaker 3: while I got to watch what I say. You're funny

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Speaker 3: eight years old. Your divorce. Ain't nothing wrong with that.

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Speaker 3: Your niece helped you get a dating profile. Use a

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Speaker 3: real photo on yourself that would shoulders up, shoulders up,

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Speaker 3: real photo, shoulders up, head shot.

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Speaker 2: What you did, what you did? Then she suggested that

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Speaker 2: you lie.

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Speaker 3: About your interest so that you would have trust you

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Speaker 3: to track a man with a nice body, so I said,

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Speaker 3: I love working out, running and traveling. Really okay, now

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Speaker 3: work on your lion, Work on your lion. The app

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Speaker 3: matched me with a tall, muscular, older man.

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Speaker 2: He isn't cute. Oh, don't try to low rate him. Now.

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Speaker 3: See you're trying to make us think something wrong with him.

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Speaker 3: But you got just what you asked for. Muscular. He

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Speaker 3: in shape because he in that gym. Matched you up

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Speaker 3: because you said you love to work out and run.

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Speaker 3: He isn't cute, but we've been dating for six weeks.

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Speaker 3: Obviously you can stomach it. He might not be cute,

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Speaker 3: but he ain't flat out ugly.

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Speaker 2: Though, why are you mad? Though? No?

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Speaker 3: She lied, No, No, I'm getting that man. We've been

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Speaker 3: dating for six weeks and getting really didn't know each other,

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Speaker 3: and I like him a lot because he got personality.

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Speaker 3: He runs marathons and he asked me to do a

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Speaker 3: charity run with him in April. I said yes because

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Speaker 3: I don't know how to say no. Now hold up,

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Speaker 3: now you're finna go run See this dating that right here?

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Speaker 3: For a minute, I thought this was Tommy, because we

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Speaker 3: got Tommy loved to work out, he stay in shape,

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Speaker 3: and Tommy run a lot and Tommy in good airs

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Speaker 3: shape too, So I thought this was Tommy right here.

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Speaker 3: But Tommy, well, you know, they said he was tall,

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Speaker 3: and now I.

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Speaker 2: Said, okay, but.

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Speaker 3: She said he was unattracted now right there, right there,

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Speaker 3: now that.

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Speaker 2: It was you.

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Speaker 3: Because I'm right there with you on that. I've been

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Speaker 3: trying to tell you for a while. But anyway, it

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Speaker 3: ain't something. I said yes because I don't know how

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Speaker 3: to say no. We started working out together and it

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Speaker 3: was obvious I don't know what to do in the gym.

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Speaker 3: I told him I do yoga now instead of going

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Speaker 3: to the gym. Another lie. Yeah, see, listen to me.

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Speaker 3: You got to work on your lion. You got to

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Speaker 3: do something. You got to do like you got to

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Speaker 3: say like you went to ribbon dancing. You gotta do

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Speaker 3: stuff people can't check on it. Yeah, you gotta do

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Speaker 3: stuff like that. You know, you play pickleball, stuff like that.

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Speaker 3: You gotta say stuff that you know other black people

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Speaker 3: don't do. Sitting up, been here lying talking about you

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Speaker 3: in the gym, and you run another lie.

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Speaker 2: We worked out so hard my head hurt.

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Speaker 3: Then we went to my house and he told me

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Speaker 3: we was getting in the shower together. He looked at

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Speaker 3: her in my eyes and said he wanted me, and

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Speaker 3: he'd been waiting for this moment. My head was hurting,

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Speaker 3: and I was so nervous because I look a lot

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Speaker 3: better in my clothes than I do naked. That's ninety

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Speaker 3: eight percent of the people in the world, Lady, don't

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Speaker 3: worry about that.

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Speaker 2: Everybody looked better in clothes.

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Speaker 3: So I was nervous because I look a lot better

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Speaker 3: in my clothes than I do naked.

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Speaker 2: The shower was uncomfortable. Now, let's get back to this weight. Now.

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Speaker 2: The shower was uncomfortable because it was crowded in there.

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Speaker 3: You got your little chubby ass up in there, and

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Speaker 3: that shower got crowded. Big muscle, uglass dude in that

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Speaker 3: big muscle with the trade face, he up in there,

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Speaker 3: just in that strong.

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Speaker 2: All the muscles.

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Speaker 3: He flexted your little chubby ass in there. And now

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Speaker 3: you uncomfortable in the shot because it's crowded in there

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Speaker 3: too much weight. Y'all all up against the glass and

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Speaker 3: tore the damn curtain down there. Y'all got water all

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Speaker 3: over the toilet.

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Speaker 1: See where is that in the letter?

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Speaker 3: It's in there, Shirley ain't depends and I felt like

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Speaker 3: he realized that I didn't work out by the way

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Speaker 3: he looked at my body because he was looking round it,

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Speaker 3: around it. He couldn't find the knob in there. He

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Speaker 3: was trying to get the water a little hotter, but

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Speaker 3: he couldn't reach the knob because you was all in

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Speaker 3: the knob, the nozzle and the window all up in here.

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Speaker 3: Chubby Asten told him, you like running. You know you

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Speaker 3: ain't ran, no damn well, you run up them steps

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Speaker 3: so you'll fall out anyway. After the shower, you already know.

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Speaker 3: We went straight to my bed. You had to hear

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Speaker 3: up and get under them sheets. He went straight to

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Speaker 3: my bed. It was our first time together. And I

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Speaker 3: had such a hard time keeping up with him because

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Speaker 3: he in the gym. He in shape, and I'm to

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Speaker 3: tell you something about ugly man too. We got to

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Speaker 3: be able to bring it because we might not get

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Speaker 3: a second chance. So you couldn't even hardly keep up

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Speaker 3: with him. My leg was not supposed to be in

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Speaker 3: that way. He bent it and it's still hurting. It

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Speaker 3: supposed to go back there. Oh, he didn't do nothing.

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Speaker 3: He ain't seen before. He had your ankle in his

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Speaker 3: hand and it was back there by the other girl.

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Speaker 3: If yours don't go back there, Shirley come talking about

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Speaker 3: you need to get more flexible. You ain't gonna get

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Speaker 3: flexible by the next date.

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Speaker 2: That's for days.

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Speaker 3: That's run and tell a whole hamstrang out trying to

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Speaker 3: keep over the fool in this bed.

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Speaker 2: This is over with.

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Speaker 3: This relationship is done. You fought there, you and your

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Speaker 3: old ass husband wasn't doing none of that. I have

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Speaker 3: lied and ended up with the man that's too good

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Speaker 3: to be true. I'm too out of shape him. I

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Speaker 3: can't have sex with him again. That's right now. I'm

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Speaker 3: too afraid he should be. How do I fix my lives?

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Speaker 3: I'll keeping this man?

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Speaker 2: He gone?

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Speaker 1: He is gone.

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Speaker 2: He gone.

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Speaker 3: Shelly, Lie and your leg don't go back there.

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Speaker 2: What we ain't here do now?

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Speaker 3: You ain't flexing, Chubby, You ain't flexible. At least be flexible.

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Speaker 1: Post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM,

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Speaker 1: and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on the free

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Speaker 1: iHeartRadio app. It never sounded so good, so you should

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Speaker 1: download it today. Coming up in forty six minutes after

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Speaker 1: the hour, Junior is here with sports talk. Right after this,

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Speaker 1: you're listening to The Dave Harvey Morning Show