1
00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:17,440
Speaker 1: Personally Feldsman.

2
00:00:18,160 --> 00:00:20,479
Speaker 2: Y'all remember that song I Need a Little Help from

3
00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:24,040
Speaker 2: my Friends. Well, that's what this next series is all about.

4
00:00:24,160 --> 00:00:26,840
Speaker 2: This week, we're talking to Sabrina, the friendship Coach. She's

5
00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:30,880
Speaker 2: sharing why friendship heartbreak hurts something bad and why low

6
00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:34,479
Speaker 2: maintenance friendships really aren't a thing. Then next week, my

7
00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:37,360
Speaker 2: best friends from over a decade joined. We recorded the

8
00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:40,480
Speaker 2: episode when they were visiting Nashville on our yearly bestie trip,

9
00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:43,400
Speaker 2: and one of them is my friend who I made

10
00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:46,320
Speaker 2: via a guy we were both dating at the same time,

11
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:48,600
Speaker 2: which is a story for next week.

12
00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:58,120
Speaker 1: So let's get into this chat with Sabrina.

13
00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:01,120
Speaker 2: We've talked about a lot of friendships on this podcast,

14
00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:03,960
Speaker 2: and I've had many of my friends on, but I

15
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:08,600
Speaker 2: think where this friendship coach really excels is her blutness

16
00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:11,240
Speaker 2: and honesty for what happens in friendship, and that's why

17
00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:13,400
Speaker 2: I'm bringing her on. Hi Spriena, thanks for joining me.

18
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:16,720
Speaker 1: Hi, thanks for having me. I'm super excited to be

19
00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:17,600
Speaker 1: on your podcast.

20
00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:21,440
Speaker 2: I love your content so fun to watch because I

21
00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:24,840
Speaker 2: think there's so many different spaces within the friendship world

22
00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:27,680
Speaker 2: when it comes to the coaches, and I really do

23
00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:31,160
Speaker 2: believe where your bread and butter is being brutally honest

24
00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:33,479
Speaker 2: and telling us the things that we need to hear.

25
00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:37,240
Speaker 3: I try not to be brutally honest.

26
00:01:37,319 --> 00:01:41,600
Speaker 1: I try to be as kind as possible with the truth,

27
00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:45,319
Speaker 1: or at least like my opinion of how I see things.

28
00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:49,120
Speaker 1: But yeah, I'm not trying to like hurt anyone's feelings.

29
00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:52,160
Speaker 2: But no, brutally honest is a good thing. We're at

30
00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:54,880
Speaker 2: a time and place right now where sometimes tough love

31
00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:59,040
Speaker 2: is necessary. And I really feel like in the space

32
00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:02,560
Speaker 2: that friendships are right now across the board is we're

33
00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:04,400
Speaker 2: in some desperate need of some tough love.

34
00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:08,080
Speaker 1: I think so too, to be honest, you see, And

35
00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:09,560
Speaker 1: this is what we're talking about.

36
00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:14,360
Speaker 2: And it's interesting because I do have an incredible group

37
00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:16,760
Speaker 2: of friends. I have wonderful friends who have kept up

38
00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:19,520
Speaker 2: and done all the right things, and they've maintained for

39
00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:23,639
Speaker 2: several years, some even decades. But as you get older

40
00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:28,760
Speaker 2: I'm thirty one now, time changes, things happen and life

41
00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:31,600
Speaker 2: gets different, and especially when it comes to friendship. So

42
00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:35,239
Speaker 2: why is that what's happening with friendships as we get older?

43
00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:42,160
Speaker 1: I think it's part of it is intentionality, windles when

44
00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:46,080
Speaker 1: you grow up with your friends, you're in the same environment,

45
00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:50,200
Speaker 1: you're in proximity, whether that's school, whether that's like different

46
00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:53,760
Speaker 1: hobbies or college. What ends up happening as we grow

47
00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:59,400
Speaker 1: older is life happens, marriage, kids work, all of these

48
00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:05,600
Speaker 1: like life moments, and we forget to put intention and

49
00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:10,079
Speaker 1: more effort into keeping up with our friends. We coasted

50
00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:15,160
Speaker 1: as kids just having people there, but we forget that

51
00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:17,200
Speaker 1: we actually need to put in a little bit more

52
00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:19,400
Speaker 1: effort when it comes to our friends.

53
00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:22,320
Speaker 2: And when you say put in more effort, I would

54
00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:25,280
Speaker 2: love to paint this picture of what effort can look

55
00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:28,720
Speaker 2: like in friendships, because something that's a hot topic on

56
00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:31,919
Speaker 2: social media right now is low maintenance friendships.

57
00:03:32,639 --> 00:03:34,560
Speaker 3: Oh no, you hit me her.

58
00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:38,000
Speaker 2: I know. So we'll get into that a little bit further,

59
00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:40,480
Speaker 2: but show me a little bit what effort may look

60
00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:44,520
Speaker 2: like in friendships before we dive into that very spicy topic.

61
00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:50,960
Speaker 1: Yes, I think we confuse effort with constant communication versus

62
00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:57,080
Speaker 1: consistent communication. I think everyone's frequency of communication differs. So

63
00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:00,560
Speaker 1: for me, it could be every two weeks, reach out

64
00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:04,000
Speaker 1: to me, let's chat. For you, it could be every month,

65
00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:06,880
Speaker 1: every two months, three months, whatever it is, And I

66
00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:09,320
Speaker 1: think that these conversations need to be had with our

67
00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:14,960
Speaker 1: friends where we have a consistent frequency of communication. So,

68
00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:18,159
Speaker 1: for example, if me and you were friends and we

69
00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:22,960
Speaker 1: have this consistency of talking every month, then if you

70
00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:26,080
Speaker 1: don't end up reaching out every month, then I start

71
00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:29,200
Speaker 1: to wonder if everything's okay with you, And that's when

72
00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:31,880
Speaker 1: I would reach out and be like, hey, are you okay?

73
00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:34,479
Speaker 1: I haven't heard from you in over a month. But

74
00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:37,080
Speaker 1: what people tend to confuse is that oh, we have

75
00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:39,440
Speaker 1: to put in more effort where it's oh, I have

76
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:41,640
Speaker 1: to be there for you twenty four to seven, which

77
00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:43,200
Speaker 1: is not the case.

78
00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:45,479
Speaker 3: No one's asking for that. We are all too busy

79
00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:48,039
Speaker 3: for that. We're all too overwhelmed and stressed for that.

80
00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:52,839
Speaker 1: So it's about just having conversations with your friends as

81
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:56,080
Speaker 1: life grows on, as they have kids or whatever. The

82
00:04:56,200 --> 00:05:00,920
Speaker 1: vibe is, what is a good communication for frequency for you?

83
00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:02,200
Speaker 3: Do you want us to keep up?

84
00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:04,640
Speaker 1: And I know that sounds redundant, but you know what,

85
00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:08,440
Speaker 1: we have to schedule our friends in. It's like those

86
00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:10,240
Speaker 1: text messages that we have with our friends.

87
00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:11,280
Speaker 3: Hey what are you free?

88
00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:15,200
Speaker 1: I'm free in March, I'm free in May, in April.

89
00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:18,920
Speaker 1: But it's the same thing where it's like, hey, what

90
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:23,000
Speaker 1: kind of frequency do you want? Two weeks once a month?

91
00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:26,000
Speaker 1: What is it that you want for us to keep

92
00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:30,760
Speaker 1: this going? And we tend to not have these conversations unfortunately.

93
00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:34,120
Speaker 2: It's funny. We like to be communicators, but that we

94
00:05:34,160 --> 00:05:39,000
Speaker 2: don't communicate our needs and our desires very common word.

95
00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:42,880
Speaker 2: It is awkward in a way, right because friendships we

96
00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:46,599
Speaker 2: don't see in the same capacity as romantic relationships for

97
00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:49,960
Speaker 2: some reason. But in romantic partnerships you have these conversations

98
00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:52,640
Speaker 2: or you should be of this is what I need,

99
00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:55,880
Speaker 2: These are what will keep me happy in this partnership.

100
00:05:56,600 --> 00:05:59,960
Speaker 2: So why would that be any different in a friendship

101
00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:02,520
Speaker 2: that was once a stranger and who's now not a stranger.

102
00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:04,359
Speaker 2: It's the same kind of thing. You're just having a

103
00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:05,440
Speaker 2: different type of love.

104
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:07,080
Speaker 3: It's true.

105
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:10,320
Speaker 1: And I know that is also a hot topic because

106
00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:13,920
Speaker 1: a lot of us talk about it's a platonic relationship.

107
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:15,719
Speaker 1: It's not as significant as.

108
00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:16,520
Speaker 3: A romantic one.

109
00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:20,440
Speaker 1: But for me, at least from my opinion, whether it's

110
00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:25,279
Speaker 1: romantic or platonic friendship is the basis, Yes, there's more

111
00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:28,839
Speaker 1: when it comes to romantic relationship but I think the

112
00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:32,320
Speaker 1: basis of it is that basic communication that you do

113
00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:35,080
Speaker 1: with your partner, you should also do with your friends

114
00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:38,919
Speaker 1: and whoever else is in your vicinity, Like it's the

115
00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:42,400
Speaker 1: same with coworkers and your boss, Like you have to

116
00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:47,440
Speaker 1: communicate unfortunately, in order to keep that relationship going.

117
00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:51,480
Speaker 2: It's funny one of my newer friends that I've made

118
00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:54,960
Speaker 2: as an adult, I really feel a different type of

119
00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:58,200
Speaker 2: connection to her because we and we've had this conversation

120
00:06:58,240 --> 00:07:00,080
Speaker 2: a few times where we're like, we've never had I

121
00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:02,280
Speaker 2: had a friend who just would look out for us

122
00:07:02,279 --> 00:07:04,240
Speaker 2: in this way or take pictures of us. That was

123
00:07:04,279 --> 00:07:06,160
Speaker 2: one thing that we both noticed is we want to

124
00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:08,480
Speaker 2: take pictures of each other all the time. And we

125
00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:10,640
Speaker 2: always felt like we were in friendships that were super

126
00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:13,040
Speaker 2: one sided in that that we were both performing a

127
00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:15,880
Speaker 2: certain way and the other friend wasn't. And it was

128
00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:18,640
Speaker 2: this kind of realization for both of us, especially at

129
00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:21,760
Speaker 2: this point in our life, where Huh, that shouldn't be

130
00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:24,680
Speaker 2: happening for the first time, but it is. Do you

131
00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:26,920
Speaker 2: see that happen often when you're talking to people as

132
00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:29,840
Speaker 2: they get older and just understanding the things that they

133
00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:31,320
Speaker 2: want out of friendships.

134
00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:34,200
Speaker 1: More, Yes, I'm pretty sure we can all agree that

135
00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:36,720
Speaker 1: the things that we wanted in our younger years is

136
00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:39,200
Speaker 1: not the same things that we want in our adult years.

137
00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:41,920
Speaker 1: And that's the same when it comes to friendships.

138
00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:44,400
Speaker 3: We grow, we want.

139
00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:49,200
Speaker 1: Different types of friends, and it's okay to want different things,

140
00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:52,640
Speaker 1: and we want and hope that our friends grow with

141
00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:57,840
Speaker 1: us at least like that's the goal. But unfortunately, sometimes

142
00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:02,840
Speaker 1: it's looking at it from an outside lens and realizing

143
00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:05,320
Speaker 1: that we're not as compatible as we used to be.

144
00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:06,800
Speaker 3: And that's okay.

145
00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:10,840
Speaker 1: Maybe at this point in time we need to go

146
00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:14,240
Speaker 1: our separate ways. Maybe we'll find each other in the

147
00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:18,640
Speaker 1: later years, but sometimes it can hurt. It's not the

148
00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:22,160
Speaker 1: greatest situation to be in when.

149
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:24,640
Speaker 2: You mentioned that, And something that really hurts in friendships

150
00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:28,160
Speaker 2: is the friendship breakup that happens. It's super painful, and

151
00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:30,560
Speaker 2: I don't think it gets enough credit for how hard

152
00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:33,040
Speaker 2: it is. There's been friends over the course of my

153
00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:36,040
Speaker 2: life who I've lost, whether they got into relationships or

154
00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:39,440
Speaker 2: marriages and they just stopped being the friend that I

155
00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:44,920
Speaker 2: once had, and naturally, because I wanted a very solid

156
00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:48,960
Speaker 2: friendship that moved away and it didn't happen. Anymore because

157
00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:54,200
Speaker 2: they weren't the person that when we first became friends.

158
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:58,560
Speaker 2: They couldn't provide that anymore for whatever reason, and it

159
00:08:58,640 --> 00:09:01,200
Speaker 2: was really painful. And there's moments where it's really painful

160
00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:02,960
Speaker 2: and you really miss them and you just want to

161
00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:05,680
Speaker 2: talk to them, but you also have to have this

162
00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:08,440
Speaker 2: level of respect for yourself. So can we dive into

163
00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:09,439
Speaker 2: the friendship breakup?

164
00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:15,480
Speaker 1: Friendship breakups are honestly, in my opinion, more painful than

165
00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:21,600
Speaker 1: any romantic relationship breakup ever, and it's probably because we've

166
00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:25,160
Speaker 1: never been taught how to handle a friendship breakup. Like

167
00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:28,760
Speaker 1: when it comes to romantic relationships, we all know, okay,

168
00:09:28,840 --> 00:09:31,800
Speaker 1: we're going into it. We're seeing if this person's compatible

169
00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:35,000
Speaker 1: with us, we're seeing if they're long term, and we

170
00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:37,760
Speaker 1: know eventually there's going to be a breakup if ever.

171
00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:40,960
Speaker 1: But when it comes to friends, we think to ourselves,

172
00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:44,080
Speaker 1: they're going to be in our life forever until we

173
00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:50,720
Speaker 1: grow old and we're in wheelchairs. But it's it's like

174
00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:55,400
Speaker 1: a difficult place to be when you're going through that

175
00:09:55,559 --> 00:09:59,920
Speaker 1: because sometimes it's just pure growth. Sometimes you just drift

176
00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:04,880
Speaker 1: part because you're in different life life cycles and you're

177
00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:06,960
Speaker 1: going one way there going another way, and there's no

178
00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:11,720
Speaker 1: animosity there. It's just like life happens and we have

179
00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:14,640
Speaker 1: to drift apart and we can't keep holding on for

180
00:10:14,679 --> 00:10:18,240
Speaker 1: dear life when it's not working. Other parts of it

181
00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:21,160
Speaker 1: can be harsh and cruel, where I've heard a lot

182
00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:24,439
Speaker 1: of clients tell me about friends that have done terrible

183
00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:29,520
Speaker 1: things like sleeping with their fiances and just horrible things.

184
00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:32,680
Speaker 1: So that's also like part of it. And I think

185
00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:37,280
Speaker 1: also another portion of it that's become very relevant is

186
00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:39,880
Speaker 1: quiet quitting friendships or ghosting.

187
00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:41,840
Speaker 3: I'm not a fan of it.

188
00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:45,000
Speaker 1: I would only say it's okay to do that if

189
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:48,480
Speaker 1: you're in danger. If you've attempted to communicate with somebody

190
00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:51,640
Speaker 1: over and over again and they just continue to disrespect you, yeah,

191
00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:55,440
Speaker 1: then cut them off. But I've seen a lot of

192
00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:59,640
Speaker 1: friendships where people see their friends like their toys and

193
00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:03,360
Speaker 1: with them, enjoy them for a good little abount of time,

194
00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:07,760
Speaker 1: and then discard them and ghost and don't say anything,

195
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:13,120
Speaker 1: and you can feel icky, Wow, this person was all

196
00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:15,520
Speaker 1: excited to be my friend, and now suddenly I don't

197
00:11:15,559 --> 00:11:16,160
Speaker 1: hear from them.

198
00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:17,560
Speaker 3: They throw me away.

199
00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:22,480
Speaker 1: And then sometimes when you confront that, you get the

200
00:11:22,559 --> 00:11:26,000
Speaker 1: narrative of oh, I don't owe you anything, and that

201
00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:26,840
Speaker 1: really sucks.

202
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:28,200
Speaker 3: That really sucks.

203
00:11:29,679 --> 00:11:32,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's so many different painful steps to that friendship breakup.

204
00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:36,280
Speaker 2: To your point, there's just many different levels, and none

205
00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:38,760
Speaker 2: of them get easier, especially even with time. You think,

206
00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:41,240
Speaker 2: as you get older, you just and you learn. I

207
00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:43,800
Speaker 2: don't feel like they've ever gotten easier, even especially as

208
00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:46,760
Speaker 2: an adult. I feel like it's more painful because when

209
00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:50,800
Speaker 2: you watch your circle get smaller, you know that it's

210
00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:53,840
Speaker 2: important because you're getting these quality friendships, but watching it

211
00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:58,560
Speaker 2: get smaller feels like you have to grieve an entire

212
00:11:58,679 --> 00:11:59,720
Speaker 2: life that's ending.

213
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:05,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, And it's also you second guess yourself too, because

214
00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:10,480
Speaker 1: as you grow up, at least I know, in our

215
00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:14,680
Speaker 1: femininity and with womenhood, our friends.

216
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:15,760
Speaker 3: Make up a big part of that.

217
00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:20,200
Speaker 1: And when you see your friends trickle away, it kills

218
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:24,080
Speaker 1: a little bit of your girlhood inside and it makes

219
00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:26,160
Speaker 1: you feel like am I.

220
00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:29,800
Speaker 3: Good enough? Am I worthy?

221
00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:34,520
Speaker 1: All these friends just keep leaving and disappearing? Is there

222
00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:40,040
Speaker 1: something wrong with me? And it's a very difficult place

223
00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:42,040
Speaker 1: to be in when you start to feel that way.

224
00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:45,680
Speaker 2: And I can also speak from an experience of some

225
00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:48,559
Speaker 2: trauma when I was in high school, I was bullied

226
00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:53,560
Speaker 2: by girls who were once my friends, and that experience

227
00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:57,600
Speaker 2: in high school really dictated how friendships looked for me

228
00:12:57,679 --> 00:13:00,680
Speaker 2: for a really long time. So you see some clients

229
00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:04,680
Speaker 2: come in who have trauma like this, and building friendships

230
00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:10,520
Speaker 2: just becomes an increasingly harder situation than just your day

231
00:13:10,559 --> 00:13:12,120
Speaker 2: to day life.

232
00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:15,480
Speaker 1: Oh yes, and I can relate to that very much.

233
00:13:15,679 --> 00:13:21,760
Speaker 1: Having your best friend be your bully not the greatest experience.

234
00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:27,280
Speaker 1: But I think we're also taught in society in the

235
00:13:27,320 --> 00:13:31,679
Speaker 1: shows that we grow up when that having that toxic

236
00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:34,320
Speaker 1: best friend and no matter what they do, you still

237
00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:35,920
Speaker 1: have to be best friends with them at the end.

238
00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:40,559
Speaker 1: Take Gossip Girl for example, it's like Serena and Blair

239
00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:44,600
Speaker 1: are best friends, but they're horrible to each other. They

240
00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:49,880
Speaker 1: do horrible things, sabotage gossip, go behind each other's backs

241
00:13:49,920 --> 00:13:53,440
Speaker 1: and just stab each other like figuratively, of course.

242
00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:55,600
Speaker 2: And then you have mean girls where they push each

243
00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:57,160
Speaker 2: other in front of buses. So there's that.

244
00:13:57,040 --> 00:14:04,800
Speaker 1: Too, allegedly, But we grow up watching this and then

245
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:09,560
Speaker 1: it's subconsciously drilled into our heads that we have to

246
00:14:09,559 --> 00:14:13,960
Speaker 1: tolerate bad behaviors from our friends and then when we

247
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:18,640
Speaker 1: grow older, we start to realize, oh, we shouldn't be

248
00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:22,680
Speaker 1: doing that, and it becomes like this thing where we're

249
00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:25,640
Speaker 1: fighting ourselves. We're building standards for ourselves.

250
00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:26,520
Speaker 3: We don't want to.

251
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:30,240
Speaker 1: Accept bad behavior from people anymore, whether it's romantic or friendship,

252
00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:34,360
Speaker 1: and then we're fighting ourselves because we've been taught to

253
00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:39,600
Speaker 1: accept everyone's flaws and taught to accept all these bad behaviors.

254
00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:42,800
Speaker 3: So where's the line? And that's what I'm trying to

255
00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:43,360
Speaker 3: teach here.

256
00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:48,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, And it is because so much of my relearning

257
00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:52,440
Speaker 2: experience from high school and dealing with these friends who

258
00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:55,720
Speaker 2: I had sleepovers with and we talk to each other

259
00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:58,360
Speaker 2: about everything to one day just slipping on a dime

260
00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:01,640
Speaker 2: and saying horrible things and doing horrible things to me

261
00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:07,760
Speaker 2: that I had to teach myself a new pattern of friendship.

262
00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:12,680
Speaker 2: And as a sixteen year old girl to eighteen to

263
00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:15,800
Speaker 2: then in her early twenties and joining a sorority in college,

264
00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:21,880
Speaker 2: the emotional ways that my brain went through having friends

265
00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:25,760
Speaker 2: was just beyond me. Like I look back at the

266
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,400
Speaker 2: time of my life and I'm like, how did I

267
00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:30,680
Speaker 2: even do that? Because my brain was genuinely trying to

268
00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:33,760
Speaker 2: develop at the same time I was being rejected and

269
00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:36,680
Speaker 2: bullied and then also okay, by the way, you have

270
00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:39,240
Speaker 2: to throw yourself into an completely new city and make

271
00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:42,240
Speaker 2: new friends while trusting that they're actually gonna be kind

272
00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:43,520
Speaker 2: to you and not do the same thing to you.

273
00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:48,640
Speaker 1: Again, true, that's a lot of us are experienced too,

274
00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:51,080
Speaker 1: same thing in college. Same thing.

275
00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:53,320
Speaker 3: It's learning who you are.

276
00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:56,280
Speaker 1: You don't know who you are, you don't know anything

277
00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:58,400
Speaker 1: about yourself, and then on top of that, trying to

278
00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:03,280
Speaker 1: figure out romantically who you like, hoping that that person's

279
00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:08,120
Speaker 1: not toxic. Then trying to figure out friendships, and yeah,

280
00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:10,440
Speaker 1: dealing with friends that are mean to you and bully

281
00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:13,680
Speaker 1: to you, but at the same time trying to find

282
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:17,240
Speaker 1: good long term friendships. And it's very overwhelming.

283
00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:23,040
Speaker 2: Do you feel like this is why friendship gets the

284
00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:26,479
Speaker 2: low on the totem pole, because life is so overwhelming,

285
00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:29,440
Speaker 2: and then friendship you just pushed to the side because

286
00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:32,040
Speaker 2: it's the easy thing that you can always go after

287
00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:34,440
Speaker 2: at another time, and it just keeps getting knocked down

288
00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:38,680
Speaker 2: a few pegs because of this process of us being

289
00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:40,200
Speaker 2: so overwhelmed with life.

290
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:44,160
Speaker 1: I think yes and no, But I also think that

291
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:48,520
Speaker 1: we've been conditioned to prioritize other things in our life.

292
00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:52,520
Speaker 1: And we've also been conditioned that boys may come and go,

293
00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:53,560
Speaker 1: but friends are forever.

294
00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:56,320
Speaker 3: So you sit there waiting for your.

295
00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:59,320
Speaker 1: Friend to come back around, and it's just a waiting game,

296
00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:03,600
Speaker 1: and you start to tolerate behaviors that you would not

297
00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:09,720
Speaker 1: accept anywhere else. So, yeah, when things are convenient, people

298
00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:11,919
Speaker 1: put it in the back burner. They forget about it

299
00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:14,240
Speaker 1: because you'll always be there at the end of the day.

300
00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:17,639
Speaker 2: And this now leads me into the hot topic of

301
00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:22,840
Speaker 2: low maintenance friendships. So give me your hot take. Low

302
00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:25,560
Speaker 2: maintenance friendships. We're seeing all over the internet people are

303
00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:27,920
Speaker 2: creating all kinds of reels about how they love their

304
00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:29,000
Speaker 2: low maintenance friends.

305
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:30,959
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness.

306
00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:33,840
Speaker 1: So a lot of the clients that I've had also

307
00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:37,120
Speaker 1: different people on TikTok that I've talked to about low

308
00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:40,440
Speaker 1: maintenance friendships. When I ask them, what is a low

309
00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:44,080
Speaker 1: maintenance friendship to you, everything they bring back to me

310
00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:50,520
Speaker 1: is things that I would consider a normal friendship. And

311
00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:55,560
Speaker 1: all you're doing is maintaining that friendship. You. In order

312
00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:58,320
Speaker 1: to gain a friendship, you need to have a base,

313
00:17:58,359 --> 00:18:02,200
Speaker 1: a foundation where you meet that person, you hang out

314
00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:04,800
Speaker 1: for quite a while. You build, start to get to

315
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:06,960
Speaker 1: know them, you start to love them, they love you. You

316
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:09,360
Speaker 1: hang out a lot, a lot of secrets are spilled,

317
00:18:10,119 --> 00:18:14,240
Speaker 1: live life with each other, and then time moves on

318
00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:18,879
Speaker 1: and things change, and of course you can't be communicating

319
00:18:19,119 --> 00:18:21,560
Speaker 1: all the time. No one's asking for twenty four to seven.

320
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:25,680
Speaker 1: But you still keep up with your friends, even if it's.

321
00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:28,040
Speaker 3: Once a month. You're like, hey, how's it going.

322
00:18:28,119 --> 00:18:30,240
Speaker 1: Let me text you, let me tell you about my day,

323
00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:31,919
Speaker 1: let me tell you the news.

324
00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:34,600
Speaker 3: And people are.

325
00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:39,520
Speaker 1: Referring to that as low maintenance friendships, when I'm like, no,

326
00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:43,040
Speaker 1: that's just maintaining the friendship.

327
00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:46,000
Speaker 3: As you should. That's just a friendship period.

328
00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:52,000
Speaker 1: Like this whole narrative of low and high friendships is,

329
00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:57,280
Speaker 1: it's confusing, and it's confusing people, and it's also allowing

330
00:18:57,320 --> 00:19:01,240
Speaker 1: a lot of manipulative people come in and take advantage

331
00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:05,040
Speaker 1: of those terms where they come in and say, oh,

332
00:19:05,119 --> 00:19:07,920
Speaker 1: I want a low maintenance friendship so that they don't

333
00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:10,840
Speaker 1: have to put in work. It's a friendship on their terms.

334
00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:13,439
Speaker 1: It's I show up whenever I need to show up,

335
00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:16,720
Speaker 1: whenever it's convenient for me. And you can't say anything

336
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:21,760
Speaker 1: because if you do, I'm going to call you high maintenance, and.

337
00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:22,800
Speaker 3: It's a power struggle.

338
00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:28,800
Speaker 1: I don't think friendship should be leveled at low or high.

339
00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:31,520
Speaker 3: It just should be equal. It's a balancing game.

340
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:35,240
Speaker 1: And if you're low and the other one's high, then

341
00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:39,439
Speaker 1: there's a power struggle and you're probably not compatible and

342
00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:43,720
Speaker 1: you probably shouldn't be friends. So there's no such thing

343
00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:46,800
Speaker 1: as a low maintenance friendship. It's just a friendship that

344
00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:50,560
Speaker 1: you are maintaining at a pace that you are comfortable with,

345
00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:53,160
Speaker 1: that you and your friend have agreed upon.

346
00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:55,280
Speaker 3: And that's all it is.

347
00:19:55,880 --> 00:19:58,080
Speaker 1: And the rest of it is just a way to

348
00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:03,560
Speaker 1: avoid emotional responsible ability, avoid accountability, and to shift the

349
00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:07,440
Speaker 1: blame on somebody else that's actually asking for consistency.

350
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:09,400
Speaker 3: That's all.

351
00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:12,840
Speaker 2: That's a mic draft hot take, and I love it

352
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:15,600
Speaker 2: because I agree when you sit here and explain it

353
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:19,160
Speaker 2: that way. I agree. Because you think of a relationship,

354
00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:22,359
Speaker 2: and as you stay with a person, you get more

355
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:25,840
Speaker 2: comfortable with them, and life becomes easy and communication becomes

356
00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:27,959
Speaker 2: easy because you're used to this life with this person.

357
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:31,399
Speaker 2: The same thing is happening in friendships. But we're not

358
00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:38,720
Speaker 2: calling relationships low maintenance relationships. No, no, But here we

359
00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:40,080
Speaker 2: are doing it to friendships.

360
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:46,480
Speaker 1: It's because I guess it gots skewed somewhere where it's Oh,

361
00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:50,800
Speaker 1: I don't have to constantly be on top of my friend.

362
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:54,239
Speaker 3: Which I think is good. That's healthy. Like you're not

363
00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:55,800
Speaker 3: supposed to be on top.

364
00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:58,199
Speaker 1: Of your friend being like, hey, when are you texting

365
00:20:58,240 --> 00:20:58,600
Speaker 1: me back?

366
00:20:58,720 --> 00:20:59,880
Speaker 3: Why haven't you answered?

367
00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:02,879
Speaker 2: I think we have bigger problems there.

368
00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:06,639
Speaker 1: Yes, And if you have to do that, maybe you

369
00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:10,399
Speaker 1: need to revisit whether this friendship dynamic is good for

370
00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:14,639
Speaker 1: you or not, because if they're ignoring you, maybe we

371
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:15,640
Speaker 1: shouldn't be friends.

372
00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:20,520
Speaker 3: That's all. But people that are friends, you don't have

373
00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:21,720
Speaker 3: to talk every day.

374
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:24,640
Speaker 1: You just have to be consistently there for each other,

375
00:21:25,359 --> 00:21:29,600
Speaker 1: no matter how that looks. For your relationship, that's between

376
00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:30,719
Speaker 1: you and that friend.

377
00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:31,680
Speaker 3: And that's it.

378
00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:35,040
Speaker 2: And here we're gonna continue some hot takes. I'm gonna

379
00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:36,399
Speaker 2: tell you a few thoughts that I have, and I

380
00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:39,879
Speaker 2: want to know your opinion. Okay, if you are in

381
00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:43,080
Speaker 2: a relationship, you should always make time with your friends

382
00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:46,280
Speaker 2: outside of that relationship. Even if you hang out with

383
00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:48,480
Speaker 2: that partner and your friend, you should also make time

384
00:21:48,520 --> 00:21:49,920
Speaker 2: for solo time with your friend.

385
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:50,760
Speaker 3: Amen.

386
00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:55,880
Speaker 2: Okay, thank you preach. I feel like this is so

387
00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:58,080
Speaker 2: important that I don't understand why I have to keep

388
00:21:58,320 --> 00:22:01,399
Speaker 2: saying this. But you can have a life outside of

389
00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:02,880
Speaker 2: your partner with your friends.

390
00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:06,560
Speaker 1: You should have a life outside your partner with your friend,

391
00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:10,760
Speaker 1: and if you do not, then we need to talk

392
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:15,040
Speaker 1: about that some way, somehow, because if you're already your

393
00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:19,159
Speaker 1: independent self before a man comes in or whoever your

394
00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:25,119
Speaker 1: preference is, you cannot just completely neglect your individual self

395
00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:27,880
Speaker 1: and everything that makes you you, including your friends.

396
00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:30,320
Speaker 3: Once the romantic.

397
00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:35,280
Speaker 1: Box has been checked, this person cannot be your entirety.

398
00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:42,240
Speaker 1: And I think that kind of happens way too much,

399
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:46,520
Speaker 1: where we're striving so much to get married, to find

400
00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:48,360
Speaker 1: the one, and then once we do.

401
00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:50,479
Speaker 3: It's like, all right, now what.

402
00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:53,439
Speaker 1: I don't have any friends because I didn't keep up

403
00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:57,040
Speaker 1: with them. I don't have any individual self because I

404
00:22:57,160 --> 00:22:58,240
Speaker 1: haven't taken.

405
00:22:57,920 --> 00:22:58,680
Speaker 3: Care of myself.

406
00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:01,160
Speaker 1: I don't have any hobbies, I don't know what to do,

407
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:04,040
Speaker 1: and then depression hits.

408
00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:08,199
Speaker 2: It's a vicious cycle that we get into. So thank you,

409
00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:12,080
Speaker 2: hot take. Yes, we're on the same page. This other

410
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:16,040
Speaker 2: one is that you should be there for your friends,

411
00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:20,280
Speaker 2: not just when times are very tough, but especially when

412
00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:24,439
Speaker 2: times are very good. Yes, I think showing up for

413
00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:27,560
Speaker 2: both is what makes a good friend, because there's this

414
00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:30,639
Speaker 2: belief in my eyes that if all you can do

415
00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:33,639
Speaker 2: is show up for the bad times, are you here

416
00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:36,880
Speaker 2: to see that I failed? Or are you really here

417
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:38,600
Speaker 2: to be there for me? If you're not here in

418
00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:40,159
Speaker 2: any other time of my life, but this is the

419
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:44,359
Speaker 2: only time. Why, That's how exactly that's how I view that.

420
00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:46,720
Speaker 2: And then but if you can't show up for me

421
00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:49,199
Speaker 2: in the good times, and you're celebrating me like I

422
00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:51,439
Speaker 2: had a big party when I started this podcast with

423
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:53,720
Speaker 2: my friends. I did a big dinner and everybody who

424
00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:56,919
Speaker 2: shut it up. I was so thankful because me getting

425
00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:59,240
Speaker 2: married or having a baby or no, it was me

426
00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:02,359
Speaker 2: just creating a podcast. But I wanted to celebrate it

427
00:24:02,359 --> 00:24:04,879
Speaker 2: because it was important to me, and they showed up

428
00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:06,680
Speaker 2: and celebrated it like it was my birthday.

429
00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:07,840
Speaker 3: I love that.

430
00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:10,639
Speaker 2: See, And this is like my hot take because I

431
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:13,239
Speaker 2: think a lot of people feel like when they have

432
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:15,760
Speaker 2: a friend who shows up in the dark times, that's

433
00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:19,120
Speaker 2: a great friend. But I just do they also show

434
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:19,880
Speaker 2: up in both so.

435
00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:24,119
Speaker 1: Thoughts, Yes, one hundred percent, I think they need to

436
00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:27,160
Speaker 1: show up in both, Like you cannot have a friend

437
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:30,160
Speaker 1: that only shows up for you in the darkest times,

438
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:33,840
Speaker 1: because sooner or later they're conditioned to see you in

439
00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:38,240
Speaker 1: your lowest point. And some people get a kick out

440
00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:41,280
Speaker 1: of it. It sucks, but they get a kick out

441
00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:46,760
Speaker 1: of watching someone have it worse than they do. And

442
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:49,879
Speaker 1: it sucks to realize that in a friend that you

443
00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:53,200
Speaker 1: really love and care about, But you have to pay

444
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:55,879
Speaker 1: attention to whether they're there to celebrate you or not.

445
00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:58,760
Speaker 3: And if they're not there.

446
00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:02,680
Speaker 1: To pull you out of the muck, clean you off,

447
00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:04,200
Speaker 1: and then be like.

448
00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:07,320
Speaker 3: You're out of there, let's go get drinks.

449
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:09,520
Speaker 1: I don't think that's a good friend.

450
00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:12,120
Speaker 3: And I think we agree on that.

451
00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:12,720
Speaker 2: Yep.

452
00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:15,760
Speaker 4: See, these are hot takes though, and I don't I

453
00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:20,040
Speaker 4: just wish they weren't. I know, I don't understand why

454
00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:23,640
Speaker 4: these are like controversial beliefs in friendships, but they are.

455
00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:26,840
Speaker 2: And I think it's also really easy for things to

456
00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:30,880
Speaker 2: get lost in life and you just make sure, oh,

457
00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:32,480
Speaker 2: my friend's going through it. I need to make sure

458
00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:35,520
Speaker 2: I'm there, But you also need to make sure you're

459
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:39,040
Speaker 2: there in the mundane and the normal, and also not

460
00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:41,800
Speaker 2: forgetting about your friend when you decide to find a

461
00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:45,040
Speaker 2: boyfriend or a girlfriend. YEH think those are a reasonable

462
00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:45,959
Speaker 2: ass of a friend.

463
00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:47,680
Speaker 3: I think that's a reasonable ask.

464
00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:51,679
Speaker 2: Yes. And speaking of these high value because you know what,

465
00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:53,600
Speaker 2: we're putting this on high value friends. This is what

466
00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:57,320
Speaker 2: high value friends do. You had done a content piece

467
00:25:57,359 --> 00:25:59,600
Speaker 2: on social media where you're talking about the three behaviors

468
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:02,760
Speaker 2: of high val value friends you should be looking for.

469
00:26:03,320 --> 00:26:06,200
Speaker 2: And I'm so curious like to detail what these are

470
00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:09,480
Speaker 2: because when you are an adult, making friends is hard

471
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:12,080
Speaker 2: and finding the right friends is also hard. So what

472
00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:13,320
Speaker 2: should we be looking for?

473
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:16,760
Speaker 1: I think you need to figure out exactly what you're

474
00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:19,600
Speaker 1: looking for in a friend, exactly what you're looking for.

475
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:22,800
Speaker 1: It's the same as you're looking for the one or

476
00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:23,880
Speaker 1: your romantic partner.

477
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:24,840
Speaker 3: You have a list.

478
00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:26,760
Speaker 1: I want him to have this, and I want this,

479
00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:29,399
Speaker 1: I want this, kind of the same with your friends.

480
00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:33,160
Speaker 3: But the problem that we end up doing is we.

481
00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:35,879
Speaker 1: Hang out with someone and we pick them because their

482
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:39,320
Speaker 1: vibe is cool, and we're like, oh, we mesh really well,

483
00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:44,000
Speaker 1: they're my friend, and then whatever attributes or characteristics you

484
00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:46,399
Speaker 1: have created in your head, that's a friend for me,

485
00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:50,320
Speaker 1: for example, a friend to me is honest, accountable, loyal.

486
00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:53,159
Speaker 1: So I pick someone I'm like, they have a cool vibe,

487
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:57,080
Speaker 1: they're my friend. I automatically think to myself, Oh, they

488
00:26:57,119 --> 00:27:02,000
Speaker 1: have to be honest, to loyal and accountable. Have they

489
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:05,399
Speaker 1: proven that to me? No? I just met this person,

490
00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:10,040
Speaker 1: we just hung out few times. Their vibe is cool, okay,

491
00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:14,239
Speaker 1: But do I know anything about the characteristics. No? And

492
00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:16,920
Speaker 1: then later down the line we end up finding out

493
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:20,520
Speaker 1: the hard way that this person's not honest and they're

494
00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:24,560
Speaker 1: a little bit of a liar, or they're disloyal, or

495
00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:27,399
Speaker 1: they can't hold themselves accountable for anything.

496
00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:29,120
Speaker 3: And then we go.

497
00:27:29,119 --> 00:27:33,320
Speaker 1: Into a huge cycle of having to do the difficult thing,

498
00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:37,159
Speaker 1: which is falling out of love with someone that you

499
00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:40,639
Speaker 1: care about and having to remove them from your life,

500
00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:44,200
Speaker 1: which is not easy. So I think it's a lot

501
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:47,960
Speaker 1: easier to start to vet your friends first, figure out

502
00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:51,679
Speaker 1: your standards, figure out your non negotiables before you get

503
00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:54,439
Speaker 1: into a long term friendship with someone that you don't know.

504
00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:59,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's really important, and it's also just a great

505
00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:02,199
Speaker 2: to have for all your things in life. Know what

506
00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:04,840
Speaker 2: you're going after, know what you want. It's something that

507
00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:08,359
Speaker 2: you can use interchangeably for so many different things, so

508
00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:10,879
Speaker 2: why should it be any different with friends. We really

509
00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:13,919
Speaker 2: like to change the game when it comes to friendships.

510
00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:16,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know.

511
00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:18,200
Speaker 2: I don't know why.

512
00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:22,159
Speaker 1: But also I'm trying to also change the narrative behind

513
00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:25,880
Speaker 1: it's difficult to make friends. I don't think it's difficult

514
00:28:26,119 --> 00:28:26,800
Speaker 1: to make friends.

515
00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:28,000
Speaker 3: There are a.

516
00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:31,280
Speaker 1: Lot of us out there that love to talk about friendship,

517
00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:34,840
Speaker 1: that are looking for genuine friendship. Of course there are outliers,

518
00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:38,360
Speaker 1: but I think it's also a mentality of how to

519
00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:40,760
Speaker 1: go in it. If you're going into it with a

520
00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:44,120
Speaker 1: desperate energy or with the mentality of it's really hard

521
00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:47,640
Speaker 1: to make friends, you're gonna have a really hard time

522
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:52,400
Speaker 1: making friends, Or if you go into it saying, you

523
00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:54,480
Speaker 1: know what, I know who I am. I know I'm

524
00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:58,280
Speaker 1: a valuable friend, and whoever comes into my life and

525
00:28:58,360 --> 00:29:01,000
Speaker 1: really wants to be my friend not to.

526
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:03,480
Speaker 3: Be like too much, but they're blessed.

527
00:29:03,520 --> 00:29:06,800
Speaker 1: And it's that thought process. And I had to do

528
00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:10,480
Speaker 1: that myself, moving to a new place and doing the

529
00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:14,760
Speaker 1: bumblebff thing. I was terrified, but then I was like,

530
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:18,480
Speaker 1: you know what, No, I've healed, I've grown, i know

531
00:29:18,560 --> 00:29:21,480
Speaker 1: what I'm looking for and I'm going to go in

532
00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:22,719
Speaker 1: it and be strategic.

533
00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:25,320
Speaker 3: And I met a lot of good girls.

534
00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:30,400
Speaker 1: I also met a lot of flaky girls, and nothing

535
00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:32,800
Speaker 1: against them. I don't hate them, but it's like, you're

536
00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:35,760
Speaker 1: not my cup of tea. That's okay, I'll go for

537
00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:36,880
Speaker 1: the champagne.

538
00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:42,600
Speaker 2: Over here and correct me if I'm wrong. But a

539
00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:45,560
Speaker 2: lot of my experience I was someone who moved to

540
00:29:45,640 --> 00:29:49,160
Speaker 2: a new city, created an entire life for myself, and

541
00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:51,000
Speaker 2: a lot of the questions that I always get here,

542
00:29:51,040 --> 00:29:52,480
Speaker 2: how do you do it? How do you make friends?

543
00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:56,160
Speaker 2: It's so hard. Here's all of this, and so much

544
00:29:56,560 --> 00:29:59,200
Speaker 2: of where I made friends and where I really thrived

545
00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:01,880
Speaker 2: was one myself out there in the first place. It's

546
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:04,640
Speaker 2: just like with dating. You have to put yourself out there.

547
00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:06,920
Speaker 2: I know, we all want to meet people on our

548
00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:09,280
Speaker 2: couch and that's how life works. No, it's not. You

549
00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:11,120
Speaker 2: actually have to put yourself out there and go and

550
00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:16,000
Speaker 2: do life. Be living life and to just be open

551
00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:18,840
Speaker 2: to it, be open that a friends can come anywhere.

552
00:30:19,160 --> 00:30:21,320
Speaker 2: It's how The friend that I mentioned, who I made

553
00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:25,040
Speaker 2: as a really good friend in the last year, came

554
00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:27,160
Speaker 2: from me trying out a new gym by myself. She

555
00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:29,320
Speaker 2: was a trainer there and we would just talk every

556
00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:31,400
Speaker 2: time I came in, and over the course of time,

557
00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:33,800
Speaker 2: I went through a bad breakup and she was like,

558
00:30:33,880 --> 00:30:35,840
Speaker 2: let's go get a sandwich. You don't look like you've

559
00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:40,240
Speaker 2: eat very much. And from then on we became best friends.

560
00:30:40,840 --> 00:30:43,880
Speaker 2: And that was so unexpected and not anything that I

561
00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:47,239
Speaker 2: was looking for or needed. But I was open to it,

562
00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:50,080
Speaker 2: and I was willing to create a new friend because

563
00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:52,400
Speaker 2: I was just always in this space that you can

564
00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:54,600
Speaker 2: never have enough friends, you can never have enough love

565
00:30:54,600 --> 00:30:57,440
Speaker 2: in your life. And so much of me being an

566
00:30:57,480 --> 00:30:59,680
Speaker 2: adult and creating the life that I've created in a

567
00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:02,920
Speaker 2: city that I didn't know a single soul is because

568
00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:04,400
Speaker 2: of those two things.

569
00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:08,960
Speaker 1: Oh, this is just such a beautiful story, honestly, and

570
00:31:09,040 --> 00:31:10,160
Speaker 1: it's so true too.

571
00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:11,560
Speaker 3: It's so true.

572
00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:15,080
Speaker 1: You have to be open to finding friends. You can't

573
00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:18,920
Speaker 1: tell yourself it's hard. I'm never gonna find friends because

574
00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:21,440
Speaker 1: you're going into it from a place of loneliness. And

575
00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:24,920
Speaker 1: when your energy is in a place of loneliness, you're

576
00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:27,280
Speaker 1: not really going to find quality people.

577
00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:29,920
Speaker 3: You're going to get.

578
00:31:29,680 --> 00:31:32,400
Speaker 1: That type of energy back, and it's not a good

579
00:31:32,520 --> 00:31:33,160
Speaker 1: place to be.

580
00:31:34,080 --> 00:31:37,479
Speaker 3: I think how to make new friends.

581
00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:39,480
Speaker 1: Is like you said, you have to do things that

582
00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:43,160
Speaker 1: you would normally do for yourself hobbies. Like I met

583
00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:46,720
Speaker 1: a girl through Pilate's class, and it was stupid. All

584
00:31:46,760 --> 00:31:51,120
Speaker 1: I did was give her a towel. I was like,

585
00:31:51,520 --> 00:31:53,200
Speaker 1: she's like looking around. I was like, do you need

586
00:31:53,240 --> 00:31:55,400
Speaker 1: a towel, Yeah, okay, I'll grab you one. Grab her

587
00:31:55,440 --> 00:31:58,080
Speaker 1: a towel, give her a towel. Boom we started talking.

588
00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:03,400
Speaker 1: See it can be that simple. You just have to

589
00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:06,120
Speaker 1: show up, go to places that you want to go

590
00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:08,840
Speaker 1: to be consistent about it, because if you show up

591
00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:12,680
Speaker 1: only once every six months, the people that are regulars

592
00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:16,080
Speaker 1: aren't going to get to know you. Show up, be present,

593
00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:18,600
Speaker 1: do the things that you like to do and you enjoy,

594
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:20,480
Speaker 1: and you'll find like minded people.

595
00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:23,720
Speaker 2: And you'll also find this basis that maybe you don't

596
00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:25,760
Speaker 2: want to be in. You might go and try a

597
00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:28,200
Speaker 2: new place and be like, I've been doing this for

598
00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:30,520
Speaker 2: a while and I just really can't quite seem to

599
00:32:30,560 --> 00:32:33,040
Speaker 2: stick here. I feel like I should try something new,

600
00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:35,520
Speaker 2: and you should. If that's the way that it feels.

601
00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:39,680
Speaker 2: There's a reason for that, Yep, exactly.

602
00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:42,160
Speaker 1: But that's also part of learning who you are.

603
00:32:42,080 --> 00:32:44,440
Speaker 3: And what you like. And it's the same when it

604
00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:45,400
Speaker 3: comes to friends.

605
00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:48,480
Speaker 1: You got to go out there, talk to a bunch

606
00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:51,360
Speaker 1: of people, learn what you're looking for in a friend.

607
00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:55,000
Speaker 3: And it just because you don't they don't vibe with you.

608
00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:57,120
Speaker 1: Or they're not your cup of tea, doesn't make them

609
00:32:57,200 --> 00:32:59,960
Speaker 1: a bad person, doesn't make you a horrible person.

610
00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:01,040
Speaker 3: For choosing them.

611
00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:03,880
Speaker 1: It's just you need to find your people.

612
00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:08,520
Speaker 2: That's all it is. It is. And I wanted to

613
00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:10,880
Speaker 2: ask you because we did talk about hot takes a

614
00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:12,920
Speaker 2: little bit, but and I shared some of mine. I

615
00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:15,640
Speaker 2: made you share one of yours about low maintenance. Do

616
00:33:15,720 --> 00:33:17,880
Speaker 2: you have any other hot takes about friendship? Because I

617
00:33:17,880 --> 00:33:20,960
Speaker 2: feel like this is where it's fun and sometimes again

618
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:22,520
Speaker 2: we just need a little tough love.

619
00:33:24,280 --> 00:33:27,320
Speaker 1: I feel like the basic ones we've hit when it

620
00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:33,640
Speaker 1: comes to friends, ditching you for another romantic person.

621
00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:35,960
Speaker 3: I don't think that's okay.

622
00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:41,640
Speaker 1: I think also ghosting your friends, I don't think that's

623
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:47,400
Speaker 1: good behavior. You should not have to disappear for months

624
00:33:47,440 --> 00:33:51,000
Speaker 1: at a time and then expect everything to be there

625
00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:54,960
Speaker 1: and convenient for you. Once you decide it's convenient for

626
00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:59,200
Speaker 1: you to show back up. Sometimes, just in friendships, just

627
00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:01,600
Speaker 1: like in relationship. You got to do the hard things.

628
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:05,560
Speaker 1: If you're struggling, you need to communicate that your friends

629
00:34:05,600 --> 00:34:08,440
Speaker 1: are not mind readers. They don't know what's going on

630
00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:10,440
Speaker 1: in your head. And if you're really in a place

631
00:34:10,520 --> 00:34:15,280
Speaker 1: where you're struggling, communicate that and give them the opportunity

632
00:34:15,680 --> 00:34:18,719
Speaker 1: to support you, to help you through it so that

633
00:34:18,760 --> 00:34:21,600
Speaker 1: you're not alone. But I tend to see a lot

634
00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:29,040
Speaker 1: of it where people just ghost disappear, don't communicate. Their

635
00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:32,000
Speaker 1: friends are texting them like, hey, what's going on. You're

636
00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:35,800
Speaker 1: not answering like are you okay? They don't hear anything,

637
00:34:36,719 --> 00:34:39,240
Speaker 1: and then you pop back in and you expect everything

638
00:34:39,280 --> 00:34:43,759
Speaker 1: to be good and dandy, and then you're mad at

639
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:49,080
Speaker 1: them for being mad at you for disappearing, and it's.

640
00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:51,040
Speaker 3: A vicious cycle. And I don't think it's okay.

641
00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:53,320
Speaker 1: And I think it's okay to hold your friends accountable

642
00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:59,400
Speaker 1: if they're going through those ghosting spells, And like, you

643
00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:01,560
Speaker 1: wouldn't let a man back into your life if he's

644
00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:04,399
Speaker 1: ghosted you for months, Why are you going to allow

645
00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:06,239
Speaker 1: that same treatment from your friends?

646
00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:10,080
Speaker 2: It is Hey, ghosting is never a good thing. Honestly,

647
00:35:10,239 --> 00:35:12,480
Speaker 2: it's one of the worst things we can do to people.

648
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:16,080
Speaker 2: And the only time I've ever approved of it is

649
00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:18,640
Speaker 2: if you've taken a lot of effort to really try

650
00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:21,600
Speaker 2: and put into something and it's just not being heard.

651
00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:24,920
Speaker 2: You just have to back away sometimes and let life happen.

652
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:28,520
Speaker 2: And if you're supposed to have that conversation, then it'll

653
00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:31,680
Speaker 2: come to fruition. But that's truly the only time where

654
00:35:31,680 --> 00:35:34,719
Speaker 2: I'm like, it's okay if you need to disappear. Beyond that,

655
00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:38,600
Speaker 2: we're adults, we're supposed to have conversations, agreed.

656
00:35:38,840 --> 00:35:42,920
Speaker 1: I think you can disappear, go no contact if you're

657
00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:47,719
Speaker 1: really in danger this person's not okay, do what you

658
00:35:47,760 --> 00:35:51,040
Speaker 1: need to do to protect yourself. Or you've attempted to

659
00:35:51,120 --> 00:35:54,719
Speaker 1: communicate on multiple occasions, You've attempted to set boundaries on

660
00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:58,799
Speaker 1: multiple occasions, the person just doesn't want to change, they

661
00:35:58,800 --> 00:36:01,879
Speaker 1: don't want to respect back to your boundaries, then it's

662
00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:04,719
Speaker 1: okay to just end it. But at the end of

663
00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:08,160
Speaker 1: the day, that's to me, is not ghosting, because ghosters

664
00:36:08,239 --> 00:36:09,239
Speaker 1: tend to always come back.

665
00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:12,640
Speaker 2: They do. They're on this little rotation of the earth

666
00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:13,600
Speaker 2: cycle or something.

667
00:36:14,560 --> 00:36:16,920
Speaker 1: To me, that's going no contact, that's the end of

668
00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:19,520
Speaker 1: a relationship. You're not going back to that person because

669
00:36:19,560 --> 00:36:20,319
Speaker 1: you've had enough.

670
00:36:20,400 --> 00:36:21,520
Speaker 3: Is enough if you had enough.

671
00:36:22,040 --> 00:36:25,160
Speaker 1: But ghosters tend to they get a high from disappearing

672
00:36:25,239 --> 00:36:30,080
Speaker 1: and coming back and just having people that they pluck

673
00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:32,320
Speaker 1: and having friendship on their terms.

674
00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:34,960
Speaker 3: And I go back.

675
00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:38,640
Speaker 1: To people using people like their toys. Oh, I'm bored

676
00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:41,760
Speaker 1: with this toy, Chuck, Let's use this truck.

677
00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:47,960
Speaker 2: Apparently we're in toy story and who is the child

678
00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:49,439
Speaker 2: that they're out all the toys?

679
00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:51,319
Speaker 3: I don't know the evil one.

680
00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:54,480
Speaker 2: There was a few of them and they just kept

681
00:36:54,480 --> 00:37:00,480
Speaker 2: getting like discarded. So basically we're discarded Toy story toys.

682
00:37:00,520 --> 00:37:01,000
Speaker 1: Horrible.

683
00:37:01,960 --> 00:37:03,759
Speaker 2: I know it is, but you know what, the toy

684
00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:07,279
Speaker 2: story toys have great lives. So that means that we

685
00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:09,320
Speaker 2: can all also have good lives and make new friends.

686
00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:10,760
Speaker 2: That's exactly what that means.

687
00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:15,600
Speaker 1: Yes, and the discarded toys always end up getting saved

688
00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:17,560
Speaker 1: and make great friendships.

689
00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:21,560
Speaker 2: Yep, exactly, So life happens on the other side of it.

690
00:37:21,960 --> 00:37:24,840
Speaker 2: This is what we're paying attention to. Sabrina. I'm so

691
00:37:24,920 --> 00:37:26,920
Speaker 2: happy that you came on. I like to end the

692
00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:32,120
Speaker 2: podcast with whether it be a piece of advice, motivation, inspiration,

693
00:37:32,520 --> 00:37:34,840
Speaker 2: or just something that maybe we didn't even get to

694
00:37:35,080 --> 00:37:37,680
Speaker 2: an address and you just want to talk about it,

695
00:37:37,719 --> 00:37:40,319
Speaker 2: but the platform might serve over to you and say,

696
00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:42,239
Speaker 2: end us on something that you'd like to end us on.

697
00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:52,080
Speaker 1: Okay, let's see drum roll please, Okay. I think that

698
00:37:52,200 --> 00:37:55,800
Speaker 1: each one of us should know that we are enough

699
00:37:56,440 --> 00:37:58,400
Speaker 1: and we're never asking for too much.

700
00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:02,040
Speaker 3: We're women. We can do it all.

701
00:38:02,640 --> 00:38:07,759
Speaker 1: Career, romantic relationships, family, we can do it all. Why

702
00:38:07,800 --> 00:38:12,120
Speaker 1: not friendships so we can have amazing friends in our life.

703
00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:14,000
Speaker 1: We can have the career that we dream of, we

704
00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:17,400
Speaker 1: can have the man that we dream of, or whatever

705
00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:21,600
Speaker 1: our preferences, and we can honestly have it all. So

706
00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:25,400
Speaker 1: don't think you're asking for too much, because you're not.

707
00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:29,640
Speaker 1: You're just building the whole package for your life. And

708
00:38:29,680 --> 00:38:30,880
Speaker 1: That's where I'm going to end it.

709
00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:33,719
Speaker 2: I love it. See, this is why we turn it

710
00:38:33,719 --> 00:38:36,000
Speaker 2: over because it's always a fun little thing to end on.

711
00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:38,640
Speaker 2: So Sabrina, thank you for joining me, Thanks for sharing

712
00:38:38,680 --> 00:38:41,359
Speaker 2: your expertise and taking some time to hang out.

713
00:38:41,880 --> 00:38:44,280
Speaker 3: Thank you for having me. I'm so excited.

714
00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:48,360
Speaker 2: Tough love is important, and this episode feels like it

715
00:38:48,440 --> 00:38:51,719
Speaker 2: reminded us all what we deserve in every relationship in

716
00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:55,400
Speaker 2: our lives, but particularly with friendships. So go out today

717
00:38:55,520 --> 00:38:57,480
Speaker 2: and be a good friend. Call or send a tex

718
00:38:57,560 --> 00:39:00,680
Speaker 2: to that friend who means everything to you always. I'm

719
00:39:00,719 --> 00:39:02,680
Speaker 2: so happy you're here. I can't wait for y'all to

720
00:39:02,719 --> 00:39:06,200
Speaker 2: hear the Girl Chat in coming next week. Love you bye,