WEBVTT - No Notes for Broadway Star Alex Newell 0:00:01.160 --> 0:00:04.519 Welcome to the Laverne Cox Show, a production of Shondaland 0:00:04.600 --> 0:00:08.720 Audio in partnership with iHeartRadio. 0:00:09.400 --> 0:00:12.480 No notes, no notes. 0:00:13.640 --> 0:00:18.959 Notes, fuck, yes, absolutely, okay, work, I did that. 0:00:19.600 --> 0:00:21.600 I did that, and I know I did that because 0:00:21.680 --> 0:00:26.080 Jennifer Holiday looked at me and said, I sat there 0:00:26.120 --> 0:00:27.600 and cried when I watched. 0:00:27.320 --> 0:00:27.760 You saying that. 0:00:33.560 --> 0:00:38.320 Hello everyone, and welcome to the Laverne Cox Show. My 0:00:38.400 --> 0:00:45.919 name is Laverne Cox. I am so excited about today's conversation. 0:00:46.600 --> 0:00:49.040 Alex Newle is a dear friend of mine who I 0:00:49.080 --> 0:00:51.600 haven't gotten to sit down and chat with in a 0:00:51.640 --> 0:00:54.480 really long time, so this will partly be a catch up. 0:00:55.240 --> 0:00:59.920 And I'm also a tremendous, tremendous fan. We met at 0:01:00.080 --> 0:01:02.960 the GLAD Awards in twenty fourteen. Alex came up to 0:01:03.000 --> 0:01:06.520 me and just introduced themselves and was so sweet, and 0:01:06.560 --> 0:01:10.720 I was aware of their work, of course, and then somehow, 0:01:10.880 --> 0:01:14.039 some way, a video of Alex singing with the Gay 0:01:14.120 --> 0:01:17.880 Men's Chorus of Boston popped up on my YouTube feed, 0:01:18.120 --> 0:01:22.600 and then I became utterly obsessed with Alex and Alex's 0:01:22.640 --> 0:01:29.560 insane voice, insane vocals like amazing, amazing, amazing voice. I 0:01:29.600 --> 0:01:32.160 really believe Alex Nowell is one of the best singers 0:01:32.319 --> 0:01:36.440 working today. And I'm just so happy for Alex and 0:01:36.560 --> 0:01:38.119 so proud of Alex, and we're going. 0:01:38.040 --> 0:01:40.080 To get into all of that today. 0:01:41.280 --> 0:01:43.560 So for those of you who don't know, Alex Newell 0:01:43.840 --> 0:01:46.679 first grabbed our attension on the small screen and Fox's 0:01:46.760 --> 0:01:52.000 critically acclaimed series Glee as transgender student waigde Unique Adams. 0:01:52.480 --> 0:01:55.560 They made history this year as the first non binary 0:01:55.560 --> 0:01:59.080 identifying actor to be nominated for a Best Featured Actor 0:01:59.200 --> 0:02:03.400 Tony Award, and went on to win that Tony Award 0:02:03.480 --> 0:02:07.200 for their amazing performance in the Broadway musical Shucked, I 0:02:07.240 --> 0:02:10.880 Mean Standing Ovations Girl every single Night. Alex was first 0:02:10.880 --> 0:02:14.280 seen on Broadway in twenty seventeen in the revival of 0:02:14.400 --> 0:02:17.280 Once on This Island and was a fan favorite in 0:02:17.320 --> 0:02:21.760 the hit TV show Zoe's Extraordinary Playlist, which garnered Alex 0:02:21.840 --> 0:02:26.800 a Critics Choice Award nomination. Please enjoy My Conversation with 0:02:26.960 --> 0:02:29.320 the one and only Alex Newell. 0:02:34.600 --> 0:02:37.480 This episode was recorded prior to the SAG After Strike. 0:02:39.320 --> 0:02:42.120 Hello Alex Newell, Welcome to the podcast. How are you 0:02:42.160 --> 0:02:43.480 feeling today, girl? 0:02:44.160 --> 0:02:47.200 I'm great? How are you, my dear I'm. 0:02:47.360 --> 0:02:50.680 Good, and I'm really really excited to be chatting with you. 0:02:51.520 --> 0:02:54.440 So I saw a shucked last week finally, and you 0:02:54.480 --> 0:02:59.239 were amazing. You just won a Tony and your Tony 0:02:59.320 --> 0:03:01.160 Award winning acceptance speech. 0:03:01.240 --> 0:03:03.360 I'm I'm tearing up right now. 0:03:03.480 --> 0:03:07.400 It's super strange because one, I hate a prepared speech, 0:03:07.480 --> 0:03:10.280 and so I was just I wanted to be in 0:03:10.320 --> 0:03:13.080 the moment, and I just wanted to let life be 0:03:13.240 --> 0:03:16.680 what life was in that moment and feel everything because 0:03:17.160 --> 0:03:19.840 even up until my name was called, it could have 0:03:19.880 --> 0:03:23.040 been anybody's, it could have been anybody's. And I mean 0:03:23.120 --> 0:03:26.280 that truly when I say that, I truly was not 0:03:26.320 --> 0:03:29.320 supposed to be up there. I wasn't supposed to win this. 0:03:31.080 --> 0:03:35.160 The path to this wasn't conventional, it wasn't the way 0:03:35.200 --> 0:03:37.840 that I envisioned it was going to be. And then 0:03:37.880 --> 0:03:40.360 on top of that, being who I am and what 0:03:40.520 --> 0:03:43.480 I am that walks this earth each day, there's not 0:03:43.640 --> 0:03:46.560 always space for me, and to have to carve that 0:03:46.640 --> 0:03:50.480 space out was even bigger in that moment because it 0:03:50.520 --> 0:03:51.720 did actually happen. 0:03:51.840 --> 0:03:53.880 Yeah, I think that's why it's so emotional for me. 0:03:54.360 --> 0:03:57.120 Obviously, we've been friends for years and I've been a 0:03:57.160 --> 0:04:01.760 fan for years, and I just for me, it's just 0:04:01.840 --> 0:04:05.480 a testimony to what talent that your talent is just 0:04:05.560 --> 0:04:12.200 so big that it transcends all of the supposed limitations. 0:04:12.400 --> 0:04:17.000 The talent is so undeniable that you've just transcended. And 0:04:17.040 --> 0:04:21.039 that is like part of why I love you so much, 0:04:21.160 --> 0:04:24.160 part of why I think your story is so insanely 0:04:24.279 --> 0:04:29.000 inspiring and I'm just so happy and excited. And it 0:04:29.040 --> 0:04:31.200 was just there was history. There was another gender non 0:04:31.200 --> 0:04:34.839 conforming actor, Jay from Some Like It Hot, who also 0:04:34.920 --> 0:04:38.160 won a Tony that night, But in your speech you 0:04:38.240 --> 0:04:41.600 because I remember we had lunch in twenty fifteen at 0:04:41.600 --> 0:04:44.200 the Whole House in Los Angeles, and I was shocked 0:04:44.200 --> 0:04:46.960 when you told me that you applied to all these 0:04:46.960 --> 0:04:50.360 conservatories and did not get into any one of them. 0:04:50.440 --> 0:04:54.359 And I just can you talk to me about that process. 0:04:54.440 --> 0:04:57.240 I mean this voice that you have, this talent, that 0:04:57.800 --> 0:05:00.159 it's the voice, but it's the presence. To me, it 0:05:00.279 --> 0:05:03.360 seems like it would always be undeniable. What was that 0:05:03.480 --> 0:05:07.400 experience like for you not getting accepted anywhere with this 0:05:07.640 --> 0:05:09.240 talent back then? 0:05:09.360 --> 0:05:13.120 It was completely disheartening because you are told to your 0:05:13.120 --> 0:05:16.920 face how talented you are, and you are working as 0:05:17.920 --> 0:05:20.920 a professional actor at the time, and I was truly 0:05:21.600 --> 0:05:25.240 literally on Glee at the same time, and it's just like, yeah, 0:05:25.240 --> 0:05:29.120 it made sense to get into these schools because I 0:05:29.320 --> 0:05:33.640 was quite literally already successful. But there was something about 0:05:33.760 --> 0:05:35.400 not getting in that I was just like, am I 0:05:35.520 --> 0:05:38.279 not talented? Am I not good enough? Am I not? 0:05:38.880 --> 0:05:41.520 And then, now, being older, I know that it had 0:05:41.560 --> 0:05:43.760 nothing to do with that. It was where do we 0:05:43.800 --> 0:05:47.480 put this kid? But back then, when you're seventeen eighteen 0:05:47.560 --> 0:05:51.040 years old, you're just like, I'm not talented. I'm literally untalented. 0:05:51.839 --> 0:05:54.400 And I think that's a really interesting thing to sort 0:05:54.400 --> 0:05:57.400 of book mark or to note that, like so much 0:05:57.440 --> 0:06:00.280 of it's about how can we cast? Yes, much of 0:06:00.360 --> 0:06:02.680 a getting into a school is like who can we 0:06:02.880 --> 0:06:06.680 cast in the Spring you know musical and the Fall Musical, 0:06:07.320 --> 0:06:11.080 and you should have been playing Fie and you should 0:06:11.080 --> 0:06:13.359 have been doing what you're doing now, but they didn't 0:06:13.440 --> 0:06:16.520 have the vision for that. So at the same time, 0:06:16.680 --> 0:06:19.719 you were doing the Glee project, and so I didn't 0:06:19.760 --> 0:06:23.040 know that you submitted a video through MySpace Girl. MySpace 0:06:23.440 --> 0:06:26.400 take us back to submitting an audition tape and how 0:06:26.440 --> 0:06:28.440 old were you when Glee Project happened? 0:06:28.520 --> 0:06:32.080 I was when I did that tape. You know, my mother, 0:06:32.440 --> 0:06:34.880 when I was younger, I was held back twice, so 0:06:34.960 --> 0:06:36.960 I was already older than every one in my class. 0:06:37.000 --> 0:06:39.360 No matter what nine to eleven happened. Mother's like, you're 0:06:39.400 --> 0:06:40.920 the fourth grade, let's go back to third grade. And 0:06:40.960 --> 0:06:43.640 I was just like, okay, sure. And then we changed schools. 0:06:43.760 --> 0:06:45.839 School I started at they started at the fifth grade, 0:06:45.839 --> 0:06:47.000 even though I was the sixth grade. She was like, 0:06:47.040 --> 0:06:48.680 I guess you're going back to fifth grade. It won't hurt. 0:06:48.680 --> 0:06:52.680 And I was just like, ah, I'm old. So I 0:06:52.839 --> 0:06:55.160 did that tape the beginning of my junior year in 0:06:55.240 --> 0:06:55.760 high school. 0:06:55.960 --> 0:06:58.280 So you would have been sixteen or seventeen. 0:06:58.560 --> 0:07:02.080 I was eighteen. Were I was eighteen because it'd be 0:07:02.120 --> 0:07:03.760 eighteen to submit, So you're eighteen. 0:07:04.120 --> 0:07:06.039 What did you saying on your audition tape? Do you remember? 0:07:06.120 --> 0:07:10.600 I sang and I am telling you in our auditorium 0:07:10.960 --> 0:07:15.800 in my school uniform, Polo Khakis center stage and just 0:07:16.000 --> 0:07:19.600 screaming the song to the backist of Rose. And you know, 0:07:19.680 --> 0:07:26.640 it's strange because that video went viral. Essentially at that time, 0:07:26.680 --> 0:07:30.560 it was because you could upload your submissions onto the MySpace. 0:07:30.640 --> 0:07:32.880 Dear god, it was so long ago, and people would 0:07:32.960 --> 0:07:36.080 watch them and vote on them, and I got over 0:07:36.200 --> 0:07:38.760 like a million likes and views and all of that things. 0:07:39.200 --> 0:07:42.960 And to be honest, I was this close, like very 0:07:43.040 --> 0:07:45.000 very close to not have been on the Glee Project 0:07:45.000 --> 0:07:48.000 at all, because when I got the confirmation email about 0:07:48.040 --> 0:07:50.960 coming out to audition and be called back for this show, 0:07:51.280 --> 0:07:56.480 I thought it was a scam. Why because it just 0:07:56.920 --> 0:07:59.720 it was just so out of the blue. It was 0:07:59.760 --> 0:08:03.400 just like, pop, hey, we saw your online submission. We 0:08:03.440 --> 0:08:05.640 want you to fly out to Los Angeles. We'll pay 0:08:05.680 --> 0:08:08.840 for it. The hotel will pay for it. Please confirm. 0:08:08.960 --> 0:08:10.840 And I was like, that's a scam. So I deleted it. 0:08:12.240 --> 0:08:15.960 But then they kept pestering me. They kept following up, 0:08:16.040 --> 0:08:17.840 and I was just like, well, clear that this is 0:08:17.960 --> 0:08:18.600 kind of real. 0:08:19.840 --> 0:08:26.000 Okay, thank god you went hello yes, And then you 0:08:26.040 --> 0:08:29.800 didn't win the Glee Project, which is fascinating for they 0:08:29.800 --> 0:08:33.320 were so moved by the talent that they were like, 0:08:33.440 --> 0:08:36.120 let's give you a few episodes, and a few episodes 0:08:36.120 --> 0:08:39.080 turned into three seasons. 0:08:38.800 --> 0:08:42.720 The season, three, four, five, and six. Yeah, four seasons. 0:08:42.320 --> 0:08:45.080 Four seasons on Glee, which was life changing. 0:08:45.200 --> 0:08:47.679 The world got to know you, got to know unique 0:08:47.880 --> 0:08:53.280 there was this gender non conforming trans character on primetime television. 0:08:53.400 --> 0:08:57.040 It was so groundbreaking in so many incredible ways. 0:08:57.440 --> 0:08:59.400 And most of us who know you know that. 0:08:59.679 --> 0:09:02.520 But I want to go back a little bit because 0:09:02.559 --> 0:09:05.440 in your speech at the Tony's you mentioned your mom 0:09:05.520 --> 0:09:08.000 was there sitting next to you, and I remember, I 0:09:08.040 --> 0:09:10.000 think I met your mom at once in this island 0:09:10.000 --> 0:09:12.760 of premiere. Now your mom is there, and you grew 0:09:12.840 --> 0:09:17.000 up in the church in Lynn, Massachusetts, and you were 0:09:17.080 --> 0:09:19.400 this church going kid who. 0:09:20.760 --> 0:09:24.240 Was always you right and with this voice. 0:09:24.480 --> 0:09:26.920 And can you talk a little bit about your journey 0:09:27.000 --> 0:09:30.800 in the church, your mother, and then your gender non conformity, 0:09:30.800 --> 0:09:32.800 because I don't know if I've really heard you. 0:09:32.840 --> 0:09:35.400 Maybe you've talked about this, but girl, what's the team? 0:09:36.400 --> 0:09:39.800 Well, one thing about my mother always gave me space 0:09:39.960 --> 0:09:42.760 to be whoever the hell I wanted to be. She 0:09:42.960 --> 0:09:46.440 always led with quite literally as the Bible teaches you, 0:09:46.480 --> 0:09:48.960 to lead with love and to have compassion and to 0:09:49.200 --> 0:09:52.160 love your neighbor as your own self. And I'm a 0:09:52.200 --> 0:09:56.199 shaney bitch most days, but that is where my gaze 0:09:56.240 --> 0:09:59.199 of life is. It's that of love and. 0:09:59.280 --> 0:10:01.080 The gaz of life. 0:10:01.480 --> 0:10:01.760 Yes. 0:10:03.200 --> 0:10:07.200 So my mother growing up in church, like church for 0:10:07.480 --> 0:10:11.520 my family was that of community. I lived in predominantly 0:10:11.559 --> 0:10:14.800 white schools all my life, but like church was community. 0:10:14.960 --> 0:10:17.000 Like I call my mom's friends there, all of my 0:10:17.040 --> 0:10:20.199 aunts and uncles like those are my family members, not 0:10:20.280 --> 0:10:21.520 just church members that I know. 0:10:21.800 --> 0:10:24.120 So your church was black church, right, Just to be clear, 0:10:24.160 --> 0:10:27.160 I remember you even know the schools were predominantly white 0:10:27.160 --> 0:10:28.480 school yes, okay. 0:10:28.559 --> 0:10:30.959 And so they're all of my aunts and my uncles, 0:10:31.000 --> 0:10:33.360 and like true family members. We don't just see each 0:10:33.400 --> 0:10:35.400 other on Sunday. We saw each other through the week. 0:10:35.640 --> 0:10:38.520 They would babysit me. So that was my relationship. It 0:10:38.600 --> 0:10:42.920 wasn't until our pastor had died, Reverend Murray, who was 0:10:43.960 --> 0:10:46.040 I love that man. If I asked for a dollar, 0:10:46.040 --> 0:10:47.960 he would give me a dollar. I was a spoiled, 0:10:48.000 --> 0:10:50.480 rotten child. But so he passed away and we got 0:10:50.480 --> 0:10:53.480 a new pastor. And you know, with every change of regime, 0:10:53.920 --> 0:10:57.880 everybody has their own ideologies and their own feelings and 0:10:57.920 --> 0:11:01.840 how they interpret the Bible. And as I would get older, 0:11:02.360 --> 0:11:04.959 I would see how this one passed to would treat 0:11:05.000 --> 0:11:08.119 me as I came out more and was more expressive, 0:11:08.200 --> 0:11:11.920 and then he would bring in people that would have 0:11:12.080 --> 0:11:16.840 that same ideology that my lifestyle was wrong, something was 0:11:16.840 --> 0:11:18.719 wrong with me. I was sinning all of. 0:11:18.679 --> 0:11:22.120 That and specifically you are just in general. 0:11:23.440 --> 0:11:25.600 Well, there wasn't anyone else like me at church. So 0:11:25.720 --> 0:11:29.920 it was pointed. It was pointed. And I remember one time, 0:11:31.120 --> 0:11:33.319 because everyone loved me at that church, there were two 0:11:33.320 --> 0:11:37.640 specifical moments. One time, one of the associate pastors got 0:11:37.640 --> 0:11:43.080 in the pulpit and was towing the line of homosexuality 0:11:43.240 --> 0:11:46.559 is a sin and they were going to hell. And 0:11:47.080 --> 0:11:50.080 I remember no one in the church made a peep. 0:11:50.320 --> 0:11:52.520 They didn't say amen, they didn't agree with They just 0:11:52.559 --> 0:12:01.280 said And I think he was reprimanded by some of 0:12:01.320 --> 0:12:03.160 the elders in the church and said that we don't 0:12:03.160 --> 0:12:07.200 do that here. That's something we don't do. So and 0:12:07.240 --> 0:12:09.960 my mother said that she had a private conversation with 0:12:10.040 --> 0:12:14.000 a pastor at that time. And you know, when I sing, 0:12:14.080 --> 0:12:17.000 the Holy Ghost shows up. That's my ministry. And I 0:12:17.040 --> 0:12:18.040 know that well about me. 0:12:18.400 --> 0:12:20.760 Now, when did you start singing in church and singing 0:12:20.760 --> 0:12:22.880 in the choir? I'm assuming there were solos early on, 0:12:22.960 --> 0:12:23.679 but yeah. 0:12:23.520 --> 0:12:26.000 There were always solos. I was from the time that 0:12:26.040 --> 0:12:28.880 I could speak, when I was two, And you know, 0:12:28.960 --> 0:12:31.400 I thought that people hated how I sounded because they 0:12:31.480 --> 0:12:34.400 kept crying and every time I would sing, everyone was 0:12:34.440 --> 0:12:36.400 sobbing their eyes out, and I was just like, I 0:12:36.559 --> 0:12:39.960 sound awful. But I just realized as I got older 0:12:40.040 --> 0:12:42.800 that that was their way of showing how much they 0:12:42.880 --> 0:12:46.480 loved it, and I helped them have this cathartic moment 0:12:46.520 --> 0:12:48.920 and brought them closer to God while singing. 0:12:49.000 --> 0:12:51.920 So your first experience is singing. Just to pause on 0:12:52.160 --> 0:12:55.200 your first experience is singing two years old. I know 0:12:55.240 --> 0:12:57.960 the State Fair story, which is the gorgeous You saw 0:12:57.960 --> 0:13:00.800 somebody on stage at the State Bear when I, you know, 0:13:00.920 --> 0:13:02.560 left your mom and went up on stage and like 0:13:02.600 --> 0:13:03.200 started singing. 0:13:03.280 --> 0:13:06.680 That's genius. And so your first experience is singing in church. 0:13:06.760 --> 0:13:10.040 People were crying, yeah, because they're so moved by the 0:13:10.040 --> 0:13:13.600 beauty of the voice. So once you realize that you 0:13:13.640 --> 0:13:15.960 gave people a holy ghost and people saw God through 0:13:16.000 --> 0:13:18.199 you and you were able to process that, how did 0:13:18.240 --> 0:13:22.440 that change your life to understand that that it was 0:13:22.440 --> 0:13:24.240 a gift or did you understand that it was a gift? 0:13:24.280 --> 0:13:25.280 How was like didn't. 0:13:25.520 --> 0:13:28.120 I never knew it was a gift, And sometimes I 0:13:28.160 --> 0:13:31.160 think that's the best to not take it for granted. 0:13:31.200 --> 0:13:34.400 So you're just using it in its pure sense. Like 0:13:34.520 --> 0:13:38.160 I loved singing. I still loved singing, and so for 0:13:38.280 --> 0:13:41.559 me it was joy and I loved getting to do 0:13:41.600 --> 0:13:44.920 what I knew how to do so well. And my 0:13:45.040 --> 0:13:49.000 gift giving was actually me receiving it as well. I 0:13:49.240 --> 0:13:52.560 too got to experience my gift in that sense. 0:13:52.640 --> 0:13:55.400 That's that's incredible, that's incredible. 0:13:55.520 --> 0:13:58.080 So was there a certain points before auditioning for Glee 0:13:58.160 --> 0:14:00.840 project or was there a point where you were like, oh, 0:14:00.960 --> 0:14:02.080 maybe I got something. 0:14:02.200 --> 0:14:04.240 Maybe I'm slaying, maybe I'm turning it. 0:14:04.280 --> 0:14:08.000 Because I mean, even the repertoire, even the boldness as 0:14:08.160 --> 0:14:12.640 of sixteen, seventeen, eighteen year old to take on Effie's singing, 0:14:12.760 --> 0:14:15.320 to take on these roll, these songs, this is the 0:14:15.400 --> 0:14:18.640 biggest I mean, Fie is like the biggest, probably most 0:14:18.640 --> 0:14:22.800 difficult Broadway roll besides Phantom, right, yea of the opera 0:14:22.840 --> 0:14:27.080 to sing and so to like the audacity, I mean, 0:14:27.200 --> 0:14:30.320 so girl, you had to know something just to even like, 0:14:30.480 --> 0:14:30.920 well I did. 0:14:31.080 --> 0:14:33.480 What did someone tell you girl? You should sing? Fie? 0:14:33.560 --> 0:14:36.760 No, I just had the gumption. Well, I just had 0:14:36.760 --> 0:14:40.400 the gall and the gumption and the audacity. I really did. 0:14:40.600 --> 0:14:43.800 I heard the song Here's Prior on the Fresh Prince 0:14:43.800 --> 0:14:47.960 of bel Air where Will is lip syncing and I'm 0:14:48.000 --> 0:14:50.480 telling you, and I was like, what's that song? And 0:14:50.520 --> 0:14:54.240 then I'm down this rabbit hole of Jennifer Holiday and 0:14:54.400 --> 0:14:58.000 dream Girls and just a whole new world of diaspora 0:14:58.160 --> 0:14:58.880 is in front of me. 0:14:59.040 --> 0:15:00.000 How old were you? 0:15:00.160 --> 0:15:02.320 I couldn't have been more than like eleven or twelve. 0:15:03.160 --> 0:15:03.800 Oh my god. 0:15:04.120 --> 0:15:08.800 So for Alex Newell to discover Jennifer Holiday and Dreamgirls 0:15:08.840 --> 0:15:12.880 at eleven years old feels like a really is life 0:15:13.000 --> 0:15:16.920 changing Yeah, give it all, life changing moment. 0:15:17.440 --> 0:15:20.560 Yes, and I and that's if there is one musical 0:15:20.600 --> 0:15:24.520 that I know from bookend to bookend, it is dream Girls. 0:15:24.520 --> 0:15:27.640 I know everything about it. And then when the movie 0:15:27.680 --> 0:15:30.560 came out on Christmas Day that year, I said We're going. 0:15:30.680 --> 0:15:33.400 I said, forget about Christmas, We're going to the movie theater. 0:15:33.480 --> 0:15:36.800 Immediately post hastetalling, we have to see the film. 0:15:37.160 --> 0:15:38.440 I love, love, love this. 0:15:38.640 --> 0:15:41.480 But then it's on top of that, it's like Jennifer Holiday, 0:15:41.680 --> 0:15:45.400 Neil Carter, even the Dame of Billy Porter, all of 0:15:45.440 --> 0:15:48.960 these voices that I've looked up to. That's when the 0:15:49.040 --> 0:15:52.320 wakening of like wanting to do theater, wanting to sing professionally. 0:15:52.560 --> 0:15:54.840 I think that's when I thought that I had the gumption. 0:15:54.880 --> 0:15:56.680 I was like, if they can do it, so can I. 0:15:57.080 --> 0:15:58.360 Let's get this ball rolling. 0:15:58.800 --> 0:16:02.080 Amazing. So oh, I love that you mentioned Neil Carter 0:16:02.120 --> 0:16:03.160 and it's so funny. I was. 0:16:03.240 --> 0:16:05.480 I remember I was sharing a video of you singing 0:16:05.640 --> 0:16:09.640 I'm random black Girl and my make d you know, Dajah, 0:16:09.720 --> 0:16:12.440 this is years ago, and Daja was like, I hear 0:16:12.520 --> 0:16:15.080 Neil car, little Neil Carter in there, and I Nail 0:16:15.120 --> 0:16:18.120 Cars from my hometown of Mobile, Alabama. I'm a huge 0:16:18.160 --> 0:16:20.480 Neil Carter fan, and I hear Neil in your voice, 0:16:20.480 --> 0:16:23.800 and so I just love I mean, every the Jennifer Holiday, 0:16:24.280 --> 0:16:27.080 you know, references are clear, but the Neil Carter. 0:16:27.240 --> 0:16:29.120 Yes sang in the nasal. 0:16:30.280 --> 0:16:33.520 Yeah, it's so beautiful, such a beautiful sound that Neil 0:16:33.600 --> 0:16:34.200 Carter had. 0:16:34.400 --> 0:16:38.040 I remember watching the PBS special of Dateless Behavin and 0:16:38.120 --> 0:16:40.160 that's what really made me want to do musical theater. 0:16:41.400 --> 0:16:43.040 And then my mother was just like, oh, you know, 0:16:43.320 --> 0:16:44.280 to high school with her. 0:16:45.240 --> 0:16:47.800 I said, huh, your mother went to high school with 0:16:47.840 --> 0:16:48.320 Neil Carter. 0:16:48.760 --> 0:16:50.760 She was a senior when my mother was coming in 0:16:50.800 --> 0:16:51.480 as a freshman. 0:16:52.280 --> 0:16:54.400 And she is your mother from Alabama? 0:16:54.560 --> 0:16:56.680 Or yeah, my both of my darents are from Alabama. 0:16:56.720 --> 0:16:59.479 My mother's from Birmingham and my father's were just Lousa. 0:17:01.440 --> 0:17:03.760 You didn't know that. I did not know this, you know, 0:17:03.880 --> 0:17:06.200 from Obile. Yeah, I know. 0:17:06.359 --> 0:17:08.679 But when my father died. When my father died when 0:17:08.720 --> 0:17:11.119 I was six, my mother would send me the Alabama 0:17:11.160 --> 0:17:13.919 each and every summer. So from the time that I 0:17:14.119 --> 0:17:17.200 was that's another thing. Being a church in the south 0:17:17.400 --> 0:17:20.639 versus being in church in the city, two different things. 0:17:21.200 --> 0:17:24.480 But oh yes, each and every year just in Cottondale, Alabama, 0:17:24.600 --> 0:17:26.520 each summer, from the time that I was like oh 0:17:27.520 --> 0:17:29.040 til I was like seventeen. 0:17:28.880 --> 0:17:30.520 I never ever knew this. And what I. 0:17:32.000 --> 0:17:35.000 Think is important to just also just underline is how 0:17:36.000 --> 0:17:38.639 like I was a person who grew up with a 0:17:38.680 --> 0:17:41.480 lot of shame and trauma and I did not feel 0:17:41.560 --> 0:17:44.560 that unconditional love from my mom. And it sounds like 0:17:44.680 --> 0:17:47.000 you had it always, and not only from her, but 0:17:47.080 --> 0:17:50.360 from your church community. The audacity for them to say 0:17:50.400 --> 0:17:53.080 we don't do that here we were not. That is 0:17:53.200 --> 0:17:57.959 so utterly transformative, and so then you can go into 0:17:58.040 --> 0:18:00.439 the world with a sense of worthiness. You can go 0:18:00.520 --> 0:18:04.159 into the world as as a gender non conforming person 0:18:04.480 --> 0:18:08.320 with a sense of worthiness that you have a right 0:18:08.359 --> 0:18:11.320 to be here. Obviously there's talent too, but even beyond 0:18:11.320 --> 0:18:12.840 the talent, a lot of you have talent but don't 0:18:12.840 --> 0:18:15.560 have that sense of worthiness, and so this makes the 0:18:15.640 --> 0:18:18.560 difference in terms of entering the world. And I just 0:18:18.640 --> 0:18:23.879 always want to emphasize that to like parents too, and 0:18:23.960 --> 0:18:25.639 you can get that later. If you didn't have that 0:18:25.680 --> 0:18:27.480 as a child, you can. It's never too late to 0:18:27.480 --> 0:18:30.520 have a happy childhood. But for you to be your 0:18:30.640 --> 0:18:34.080 age and even in your twenties, with the success that 0:18:34.160 --> 0:18:37.240 you had on Glee and then Zoe's Extraordinary Playlist and 0:18:37.240 --> 0:18:40.600 then your Broadway debut, and now being I believe you're thirty, 0:18:40.680 --> 0:18:42.240 how do you disclosure your age? 0:18:43.560 --> 0:18:45.720 I'm just thirty, You're just thirty. 0:18:45.800 --> 0:18:49.439 Okay, so you're thirty years old and just wanted to 0:18:49.480 --> 0:18:50.679 own your first Tony Award. 0:18:50.760 --> 0:18:58.600 That is incredible. That is fucking incredible. This is a 0:18:58.640 --> 0:18:59.960 good time to take a little break. 0:19:06.520 --> 0:19:12.000 We're back, so love from the family, love from the community. 0:19:12.520 --> 0:19:16.359 So you had not study voice formally, is what I've 0:19:16.440 --> 0:19:19.600 read before the Glee project. You were just singing in church, 0:19:20.000 --> 0:19:25.800 in choirs and school. There's a video of you. Do 0:19:25.840 --> 0:19:27.720 you have like a little scarf us you're wearing a 0:19:27.760 --> 0:19:28.960 suit if you're super young? 0:19:28.960 --> 0:19:30.399 Do you know how old you were in that video 0:19:30.440 --> 0:19:31.880 you sing I'm changing. 0:19:31.720 --> 0:19:33.879 Ah, I was most likely eighteen. 0:19:33.960 --> 0:19:37.040 Yes, so you're eighteen, And what's fascinating to me. 0:19:37.440 --> 0:19:41.399 The voice is stunningly beautiful, but if you build a song, 0:19:41.840 --> 0:19:46.880 so without any vocal training, you understood how to start 0:19:47.640 --> 0:19:51.399 quietly and to build a song, and then there's just 0:19:51.880 --> 0:19:54.240 there was so much support, and there was so much 0:19:54.520 --> 0:19:57.600 seeming technique. There was a forward placement, there was a 0:19:57.840 --> 0:19:59.920 little bit of a twang, there's rain. 0:20:00.560 --> 0:20:03.600 How do you it's truly mimicking. I think a lot 0:20:03.640 --> 0:20:07.920 of my pre knowing what I'm doing now with a 0:20:07.960 --> 0:20:11.240 lot of money now to have impeccable technique, But back 0:20:11.280 --> 0:20:15.040 then I think it was really me just trying to 0:20:15.280 --> 0:20:19.239 make it sound exactly like I remember hearing it and 0:20:20.560 --> 0:20:24.439 really pushing myself to knowing what that is. And at 0:20:24.480 --> 0:20:26.800 the time I was eighteen, so I was still in 0:20:26.880 --> 0:20:31.760 a private school, taking concert choir with my choral teacher, 0:20:31.960 --> 0:20:35.359 and him really stressing all the things even though he 0:20:35.400 --> 0:20:38.240 didn't know the voice technique and all of that stuff, 0:20:38.280 --> 0:20:40.359 but he knew the quality that he wanted and how 0:20:40.400 --> 0:20:42.719 to structure a good song. But it is it was 0:20:42.720 --> 0:20:46.640 making myself sound like Barbar Streison, or trying to make 0:20:46.680 --> 0:20:50.160 the grouse sound the same as Jennifer Holiday, or making 0:20:50.160 --> 0:20:53.040 sure I had that nice and nasally forward placement like 0:20:53.119 --> 0:20:56.240 Nel Carter because that's how the notes come out easier. 0:20:57.160 --> 0:20:58.399 So I think it was a lot. 0:20:58.280 --> 0:21:00.440 Of that, And then I think that thing is had 0:21:00.680 --> 0:21:03.080 to be playing around with all that without a voice 0:21:03.119 --> 0:21:06.000 feature and not hurt yourself. Yeah, were there moments when 0:21:06.000 --> 0:21:08.760 you would experiment and it'd be like, this doesn't feel right, 0:21:09.000 --> 0:21:12.160 like in terms of strain, because these chords are very delicate. 0:21:12.560 --> 0:21:15.800 I never had like, yeah, I lost my voice, like 0:21:15.840 --> 0:21:18.800 any person would lose their voice, but like I never 0:21:19.160 --> 0:21:23.720 really worried about it because it was so particular when 0:21:23.720 --> 0:21:25.919 I was younger. I can't stress it enough. When I 0:21:26.040 --> 0:21:30.280 was younger, before life and gravity hits your vocal cords 0:21:30.280 --> 0:21:34.120