Speaker 1: Welcome to Can't Flee Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio
Speaker 1: and the Black Effects.
Speaker 2: Oh shit, be back on the air.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to yet another carefully reckless episode with your
Speaker 1: girl Jess.
Speaker 2: Hilarious.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be fixing the mess. Hold on, let me
Speaker 1: get this flm out my throat now, y'all took a vacation.
Speaker 1: I know a lot of y'all saw the vacation, the
Speaker 1: vacation that I went on. Yes, I had fun, and
Speaker 1: I work very very very very very hard, y'all, and
Speaker 1: I just wanted to enjoy the fruits of my labor
Speaker 1: last week. And I could have done a podcast from Mexico,
Speaker 1: but I just wanted to. It seemed like every time
Speaker 1: I go on vacation, that's all I do is work,
Speaker 1: because the industry that I'm in.
Speaker 2: Is a little different. If you don't work, you don't
Speaker 2: make no goddamn money.
Speaker 1: So you know, I can't take off and then still
Speaker 1: get paid for vacation leave, and shit, I work for myself,
Speaker 1: so I could have very well done that, but I
Speaker 1: knew that y'all would understand that even I have to
Speaker 1: clock out sometimes and not be just hilarious, but.
Speaker 2: Be more of Jessicamore.
Speaker 1: Y'all and I had the best time, but now it's
Speaker 1: time to get back to work because y'all been missing me.
Speaker 1: So we're about to jump right in now. This is
Speaker 1: someone who has an update. I'm gonna give y'all just
Speaker 1: a quick backstory on what she's updating us on. All right,
Speaker 1: So sometime last year, this lady had wrote this to me.
Speaker 1: My best friend been married for eleven years with a
Speaker 1: boyfriend of nine years who was married to his wife
Speaker 1: of over fifteen years. I've been in this friendship and
Speaker 1: Saint it all play out very peaceful, non toxic. Both
Speaker 1: of the men.
Speaker 2: Love that girl to death.
Speaker 1: Her husband will kill her if he ever found out
Speaker 1: about the boyfriend that treats her like gold. I'm scared
Speaker 1: for her, and the one time I tell her about herself,
Speaker 1: we end up falling out and the wife gets a
Speaker 1: message about them. And I would have never done that,
Speaker 1: but she thought it was me that told her just
Speaker 1: because we fell out. Furthermore, I am married ten years,
Speaker 1: but her shit got me on my husband case all
Speaker 1: the time. Anyway, should I try to fix us or
Speaker 1: say fuck us? For her to think that I told
Speaker 1: that woman that I got a pick of them, and
Speaker 1: I would want to tell her business like that.
Speaker 2: All right.
Speaker 1: So I don't know if y'all remember that, but I
Speaker 1: gave her some really, really really keen advice. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: might want to let that relationship go until she finished
Speaker 1: doing what she doing, because you don't want that to
Speaker 1: spell over into your marriage. And you already admitted that
Speaker 1: it has been doing that. I know our husband was
Speaker 1: probably like the fuck, what the fuck?
Speaker 2: I knew, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: So and then also, I hope you didn't share that
Speaker 1: with your husband because your husband probably would be looking
Speaker 1: at you like, well, why are you still friends with
Speaker 1: this bitch? I mean, uh uh Wayne condoning that shit,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? So I definitely get it.
Speaker 1: I would definitely I would have fallen back from her
Speaker 1: as a friend. You know, that was just her guilty conscience,
Speaker 1: thinking that you automatically told the wife because she thought
Speaker 1: that she was just moving that slick for nine years
Speaker 1: and nobody was ever gonna find out about you messing
Speaker 1: with this other married man and you're a married woman
Speaker 1: as well. So this is what she has to say, guys.
Speaker 1: She's she came back and said, update on the love
Speaker 1: triangle and lost friendship.
Speaker 3: Here it is, Hey, Jess, I just want to give
Speaker 3: you an update on the love triangle advice that you
Speaker 3: gave me about my friend of twenty years and all
Speaker 3: that good stuff and all her relationships. I didn't give
Speaker 3: you as much context. No, the husband of course didn't know.
Speaker 3: The boyfriend didn't know. As a matter of fact, he
Speaker 3: don't been in the husband face that I've been in
Speaker 3: my face. It's like a big old, r weird family
Speaker 3: m craziest shit I ever seen. But just to update
Speaker 3: on that situation, me and her have not we have
Speaker 3: spoke about that situation, but I decided to move out
Speaker 3: her way. I can't be in a person life where
Speaker 3: there's standard there there are more rules. Is that fucked up?
Speaker 3: And and and don't have a conscience of what you're doing.
Speaker 3: You know, everybody don't. Ain't nobody perfect and everybody make mistakes,
Speaker 3: he all. I I have made some myself, But you know,
Speaker 3: I just can't live in no wrongdoing for years like
Speaker 3: that to anybody. So it's like, I, she's just not
Speaker 3: my type of person anymore to deal with so far
Speaker 3: as a friendship is done, and I just love her
Speaker 3: from a distance as far as the affairs. She stayed
Speaker 3: in as long as she could, up until I was
Speaker 3: held at gunpoint behind her saying she's with me, and
Speaker 3: she was with me, she was with the do and
Speaker 3: I'm at my house with a gun at me because
Speaker 3: of her husband knowing she played some kind of games
Speaker 3: and it was a mess, and I knew it was
Speaker 3: going to end up and something deadly or something really
Speaker 3: really horrific that will end up happening, and me just
Speaker 3: trying to tell her to stop is the one that
Speaker 3: had a gun point at me. But long story short,
Speaker 3: she sat in her cake into the motherfucking cake, smushed
Speaker 3: in her own face because it's over. For that situation.
Speaker 3: The wife knows, everybody knows. She ended up being exposed
Speaker 3: in a terrible way and got super duper messy. But
Speaker 3: all I can do is just pray for But I
Speaker 3: just wanted to give you the heads up again for
Speaker 3: that's what it was. She was in a relationship with
Speaker 3: this merried man for going on ten years and she
Speaker 3: was married for that long, and it was just a
Speaker 3: very disturbing situation that I just knew it was going
Speaker 3: to hit her in the face. Didn't want it to
Speaker 3: be as bad as it did. I don't want to
Speaker 3: put too much context out there, but just know she
Speaker 3: ain't got no fingers on the right hand. So yeah,
Speaker 3: why they love shit is real and if anybody hear it,
Speaker 3: just don't play with it because mos folks don't know
Speaker 3: when they snap, they snap, they don't. Don't play with
Speaker 3: nobody's heart, and certainly don't be in a marriage for
Speaker 3: that long if you wanted to play with it. And
Speaker 3: she didn't even get the fingers, didn't even get snapped
Speaker 3: by the husband. The fingers got snapped by the boyfriend.
Speaker 1: So yeah, God damn Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, heal us.
Speaker 2: Oh oh my god, that's crazy.
Speaker 1: Okay, So that that was a pretty detailed update.
Speaker 2: So back to my listeners. Man, like she said, you
Speaker 2: can't play with love.
Speaker 1: And you know how people just automatically always think, you know,
Speaker 1: women go crazy behind love, you know, and we do
Speaker 1: some crazy things. No, man, people put their heart. That's
Speaker 1: people periods. Some men that will really kill for their wives,
Speaker 1: is women that will kill for their husbands, and then
Speaker 1: it's people that will kill for their own heart. I
Speaker 1: put my heart on the line for you. I gave
Speaker 1: you my everything, and some people just can't take it.
Speaker 1: They can't take betrayal of you know, they can't take heartbreak,
Speaker 1: they can't take a partner cheating on them. When you
Speaker 1: put your trust, your everything into someone and you feel
Speaker 1: like it's reciprocated and that person.
Speaker 2: Would never do you wrong, and then they do, you know,
Speaker 2: some people snap.
Speaker 1: Some people snap, and like she said, she was held
Speaker 1: at gunpoint because her friend was lying on her. You
Speaker 1: have to be careful these days, all days, but be careful.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of bold people out there and a
Speaker 1: lot of people who just don't give a fuck. And
Speaker 1: they feel like once they lost the love of their life,
Speaker 1: they don't have anything else. They don't have anything to
Speaker 1: live for, especially when you put your everything in one person,
Speaker 1: because that's what you have to do for somebody to
Speaker 1: destroy you, you have to give them everything to destroy you.
Speaker 1: And I'm pretty sure that husband and boyfriend boyfriend both
Speaker 1: felt destroyed by her, like the girl who wrote me,
Speaker 1: Like she said in the first story, them men both
Speaker 1: loved her, both treated her like gold.
Speaker 2: And her husband she really meant what she said.
Speaker 1: Her husband will kill her if he found out, and
Speaker 1: she knows that first hand. Because he was ready to
Speaker 1: kill her, kill the friend because the wife then gave
Speaker 1: him a fucking alibi and he pulled up on a friend.
Speaker 2: All right, shame with you. I got you at gunpoint. Now.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. It's crazy as wrong as
Speaker 2: it is.
Speaker 1: That's all the wife's fault. You know what I'm saying. Like, damn, y'all,
Speaker 1: that's the wife's fault. Love can make you crazy, man.
Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be that hard.
Speaker 2: It doesn't.
Speaker 1: All you how to do is say, look, I'm not happy, communicate.
Speaker 1: Let somebody know. When people are in love, they are
Speaker 1: in love. You gotta let somebody know if you ain't
Speaker 1: feeling the same. You always want to be on the
Speaker 1: same page in a marriage, Yes, in a relationship, but
Speaker 1: in a marriage, be on the same page. That's a covenant.
Speaker 1: That's a contract that y'all signed. That's a lot.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. Y'all are binded legally.
Speaker 1: You can't just walk away from a marriage like you
Speaker 1: can walk away from a boyfriend, a relationship, a friendship.
Speaker 1: You understand what I'm saying. So y'all just be careful
Speaker 1: out there. That was That was a sad update. But
Speaker 1: I hope that this actually teaches her friend or her
Speaker 1: ex friend, you don't play with love next time. You
Speaker 1: could lose your life. Good thing that you lost one hand.
Speaker 1: You're walking around all nubby now, but you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying, You could have lost your fucking life.
Speaker 2: Hold up, hold up.
Speaker 1: I know this shit getting good, but listen to just
Speaker 1: a couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me,
Speaker 1: you'll listen. Cay moving on to the next story. Okay,
Speaker 1: this is not a voice, No, this is written. It
Speaker 1: says Jess. This isn't really mess, but more of a
Speaker 1: young and just asking for advice from somebody who's been
Speaker 1: through it. So I'm twenty three and I'm planning a
Speaker 1: big move. I just got out of a long abusive
Speaker 1: relationship that lasted four years, and prior to that, I
Speaker 1: had been in three other relationships that lasted a year
Speaker 1: and a half, three years, and two years. So if
Speaker 1: that tells you anything, it should tell you I'm not
Speaker 1: the best at being alone. So that brings me to
Speaker 1: my question, how do I go about being alone and
Speaker 1: learning to love and accept myself. I plan on moving
Speaker 1: out of state by myself in an attempt to jumpstart
Speaker 1: my life and to stop being afraid of the world.
Speaker 1: But yet again, I'm young and I've literally never done
Speaker 1: anything alone. I've lived in the same city, same state,
Speaker 1: my whole life. Thank you in advance, Jess.
Speaker 2: I love you. I don't always like what you say,
Speaker 2: but damn you do.
Speaker 1: Keep it real, and to be honest, I sure do
Speaker 1: be needing to hear it much respect. I've been a
Speaker 1: fan since I was too young to be watching you.
Speaker 1: By the way, yeah, girl, I've been and out of
Speaker 1: relationships since I was thirteen. You ain't gotta tell me.
Speaker 1: My mama already has. This is the reason I'm trying
Speaker 1: to run away. Okay, okay, wow, I tell you what
Speaker 1: you don't need to be doing running away. It's okay, okay.
Speaker 1: I love how you keep saying my whole life. You
Speaker 1: only have been here for twenty three years, girl, some
Speaker 1: of my whole life. My whole life. Oh shit, you're
Speaker 1: a guy. My bad, because I'm trying to see something
Speaker 1: real quick.
Speaker 2: I don't want to Oh no, okay, you're a girl.
Speaker 2: You're a girl, okay, all right, all right, all right,
Speaker 2: but you look like a tom girl. My bad, my bad,
Speaker 2: all right, Yeah, you're.
Speaker 1: Only twenty three. Boo, you don't need to be running
Speaker 1: away looking for no damn love. That's not what you
Speaker 1: need to do. You want me to give you advice
Speaker 1: on how to be alone. You just have to learn
Speaker 1: how to love yourself, you know, because if you're always
Speaker 1: with somebody, you never get to know yourself. That's how
Speaker 1: I know you don't know yourself. You know you're trying
Speaker 1: to figure out right now how to be alone. And
Speaker 1: you're only twenty three. You know what I'm saying. You're
Speaker 1: just the lover. That's what it is. You know, you're
Speaker 1: a hopeless romantic. If you don't know what that is.
Speaker 1: You know, you give romance a try, no matter what
Speaker 1: it is, who it is, what level you are in
Speaker 1: your life, the status that you are, whatever, You're always
Speaker 1: willing to give love a try, and you always see
Speaker 1: the good in people. You got to give me more clarity, though,
Speaker 1: Why are these relationships only lasting, you know, but so long?
Speaker 1: And I honestly feel like the three year and the
Speaker 1: two year was all right, and then you know you
Speaker 1: got out of a four year. I mean, it ain't
Speaker 1: like you had that. If you add all that up,
Speaker 1: that's nine years. It ain't like you had nine relationships
Speaker 1: in nine years. You had three in nine years. You know,
Speaker 1: some people double your age been in thousands of relationships.
Speaker 1: Some people younger than you have been in thousands of relationships.
Speaker 1: They can't even count on their hands how many people,
Speaker 1: how many partners they had, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: So I think that you're being a little bit too
Speaker 1: hard on yourself, but you're also trying to grow up
Speaker 1: too fast, and you got your whole life ahead of you.
Speaker 2: What do you want to do? What are your dreams?
Speaker 2: What are your goals?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 2: Fuck love? Right now? Like what do you want to do?
Speaker 1: Because the quicker you figure out what you want to do,
Speaker 1: which is something that you don't want to rush, but
Speaker 1: just put your focus there, you may fall into like
Speaker 1: your career or which your lifelong goal may be, and
Speaker 1: you may find your person in that journey, you know.
Speaker 1: So you have to focus on what you're going to
Speaker 1: do with the rest of your life other than love.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, Because that shit gonna come.
Speaker 1: It's gonna come, just like you shouldn't chase being rich,
Speaker 1: Never chase being rich, never chase love, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying, Because all that shit just comes when you're
Speaker 1: already doing everything right, you know, and what you're not
Speaker 1: doing right right now is self love. You're not loving
Speaker 1: on yourself. So that's just easy, babe. You just got
Speaker 1: to figure out what you want to do in your life.
Speaker 1: Talking about career wise, what are you good at, what's
Speaker 1: gonna make you like? What's your passion?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 1: And if everything comes back to love, then you should
Speaker 1: be a goddamn therapist. You should do something that gears
Speaker 1: to love. You could be a love doctor. You could
Speaker 1: be like Hits. You could set people up, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, and you can do that. You can
Speaker 1: be a relationship specialist.
Speaker 2: You can do that.
Speaker 1: You've been in three of them, one abusive. I don't
Speaker 1: know about the other two or how they ended, but
Speaker 1: I think you'll be fine.
Speaker 2: I think you'll be great.
Speaker 1: Don't think too hard about it, baby girl, Hit me back,
Speaker 1: update me love you. If you love me, you'll listen
Speaker 1: to this commercial and then we'll be right back. Okay,
Speaker 1: And before we end this episode today, we got one
Speaker 1: left one update.
Speaker 2: This is actually one of my favorite stories. Man.
Speaker 1: This girl was really stressed out about you know, she
Speaker 1: had married somebody, and she married you. Know, she was
Speaker 1: married to her wife for a while, and the wife
Speaker 1: cheated on her, made a baby with a guy who
Speaker 1: didn't want nothing to do with the baby, and then
Speaker 1: so she wanted to run back to our wife because
Speaker 1: she knew that this girl wouldn't let her be just
Speaker 1: out there with a baby by herself and just see her,
Speaker 1: you know, try to raise the baby on her own.
Speaker 1: She loved the wife and the baby so much that
Speaker 1: she has taken on the role of the parent of
Speaker 1: the baby. You know, she's the baby's mom, and the
Speaker 1: girl cheated on her again, you know, just well, you
Speaker 1: know it. It was a very messy situation. She started
Speaker 1: using using her just for the baby and shit like that,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. So it was definitely betrayal.
Speaker 1: And this is the update that she left us. Yo.
Speaker 4: Just I couldn't type nothing because I'm driving to work
Speaker 4: this morning, but I wanted to say thank you dog.
Speaker 4: Like this gonna sound kind of like out of box,
Speaker 4: but like, I really been feeling like I couldn't go
Speaker 4: to nobody with that shit for the longest time, and
Speaker 4: I just been kind of feeling like I'm in my
Speaker 4: own space with it, you know, and I've been holding
Speaker 4: that shit in so like it felt really good to
Speaker 4: get it out and to have you hear it and
Speaker 4: like genuinely care, like I appreciate that, and I know
Speaker 4: that you know, this podcast means a lot to a
Speaker 4: lot of people. So I really just wanted to say
Speaker 4: thank you for hearing me, man, like I'm gonna cry
Speaker 4: dog for real and just making me feel like I'm
Speaker 4: not I'm not alone all the time and this shit, man.
Speaker 1: Thank you damn it. Y'all know my ass is a
Speaker 1: cry baby too. I'm sitting there, I started fucking and
Speaker 1: this was a tear jerker before she even said she
Speaker 1: was about to cry. I really do appreciate you, baby girl,
Speaker 1: I really really do thank you for trusting me with
Speaker 1: your story. You know what I'm saying, because this is
Speaker 1: a platform where you have to be strong enough to
Speaker 1: exposure you're you know, whatever you're going through, you know,
Speaker 1: because other people are listening, and we let people intell
Speaker 1: our lives into our lives, and you just never know
Speaker 1: what somebody can do with your information. So I always
Speaker 1: thank everybody for us for even trusting me to help
Speaker 1: fix their mess.
Speaker 2: I love you too, I really love you, like seriously.
Speaker 1: I love everybody who I help, you know, even the
Speaker 1: ones I can't help, I love them too, you know,
Speaker 1: because that's what everybody needs, you know, just just fucking love,
Speaker 1: love those big hugs.
Speaker 2: Even the toughest people.
Speaker 1: They need to just break down and cry and just scream,
Speaker 1: you know, just go in your yard and scream and
Speaker 1: then get it all out.
Speaker 2: Everybody needs a release.
Speaker 3: Man.
Speaker 1: This world it could fuck you up if you let it.
Speaker 1: You know, it's cruel. This world ain't like what it
Speaker 1: used to be, you know. So I'm here. I'm always here, baby,
Speaker 1: So even if you want to, if you got some
Speaker 1: old mess, let me know. She also left us with
Speaker 1: this piece of great news. She typed this part. We
Speaker 1: just went today to officially fil for our divorce. The
Speaker 1: process would only take a few weeks and I'll be
Speaker 1: moving out of state for a month or so for work.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Jess for giving me support when I needed it.
Speaker 1: I'm updating you like you my bestie or something. Look
Speaker 1: at my foolish ass, girls, stay blessed. You ain't foolish
Speaker 1: at all. No, you ain't foolish. You would be foolish
Speaker 1: if you was still in that marriage. And I'm proud
Speaker 1: of you, proud of you. I'll be loving how with
Speaker 1: my motherfucking people.
Speaker 5: Man.
Speaker 1: I love it, I love it, and I love you,
Speaker 1: and I love every listener. And make sure you tune
Speaker 1: into Carefully Reckless each and every Wednesday, Apple Podcasts, Spotify,
Speaker 1: iHeart make sure anywhere you get your podcast, that's where
Speaker 1: you can find me at And then my deepest Pam voice.
Speaker 2: Peace.
Speaker 5: Ta class Man.
Speaker 1: Can't Fully Reckless is a production of iHeart Radio and
Speaker 1: The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the
Speaker 1: iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your
Speaker 1: favorite shows.
Speaker 5: Passsssssssssssssssssssssss